De Omnibus Dubitandum Est.

Yesterday was my Father's birthday. I haven't seen him for about 13 years now I suppose. He abandoned my mum, brother and I in the most acrimonious manner in 1999, after it was discovered that he was having an affair with a part-time typist who worked at the business and who is my age. The resulting fallout caused the most dreadful wound in the family which has continued to fester and effect his wife and children in an extraordinarily potent way, ever since. I always feel melancholy on this day irrespective of how hard I try to ignore it or shut it out. I am grieving, I suppose. Grieving for what I have lost, grieving for what could have been, as well as what was. Fundamentally, an unbreakable bond was broken. Something I was always told could never happen. Something that contradicted all the laws of nature, family, love, everything. A Father abandoned his sons. He told me he wished I was dead. This wasn't just a broken marriage, it was a completely broken family. He ...

Further to my post yesterday about marital break-up and the damage it causes, the wonderful Jackie Parkes tweeted me a link to a really interesting website with an article about the epidemic of the Father wound. There, Dr. Fitzgibbons explains: While the term “father wound” is not an officially recognized clinical term, it is used by many mental health professionals in identifying the origin of numerous emotional and behavioral conflicts in spouses, singles and children. These difficulties can be the result of failing to have a strong, loving and supportive relationship with a responsible father, or as a result of modeling after and then repeating significant weaknesses of the father such as selfishness, excessive anger, emotionally distant behaviors or indifference to the faith. Fortunately, many men have experienced a relationship with a father who was a strong, firm, reliable and trustworthy and was a protector of their emotional and spiritual lives. He goes on to explain: I...

The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.  —Ps 90:10 Having lost a child in 2009, Christmas has been a tough old struggle for the last few years. It is a time which tends to be all about the kids, right? So when one is missing, the season serves to focus pretty much all your attention on that fact. And that fact is the hard, concentrated, epicentre of pain you try to keep locked away deep inside you most days. It is hard to shop for presents when every store you go into abounds with things you know she would love. It's, well, it's quite frankly heart breaking. This year is the second Christmas we have spent with our beloved Mary, who was pretty much 17 months old by Christmas day. Mary being around has made this all easier. Not just for me, for Lou and the boys too. I sense we are all a bit stronger, and we are all a bit more f...