Rose's Cantina

When Anderson Cooper finally decided to tell the world that he was gay, most of us shrugged and uttered a"meh" or "who cares?" The reason was that his homosexuality was one of the worst kept secrets on the planet. There were pictures of Anderson all over the Internet taking romantic bike rides with a long time squeeze. The fact that Anderson's best friends were Andy Cohen, Kathy Griffin and Kelly Rippa -- the former a well-known outtie, the two latters renowned fag hags -- gave us even more clues. For the most part, we were on Anderson's side. It was a bit of a tricky move for Anderson. I mean, I can't imagine it going down well with the crusty old Morely Safer with whom he shared a chair on 60 Minutes. Not to mention the fallout which could occur when Anderson reported for CNN from one of the many ultra-macho hotspots around the globe where homosexuality is deemed an offence punishable by death. Trouble is, since Anderson has become an outtie, he ...

Good morning children. Feeling a little poorly, are we? Well, come over here by Mama Rose and lay your sorry heads on my knee. I'm about to make you feel a whole lot better. As a survivor of the National Press Club, I have acquired, over the years, a litany of sure fire remedies to help you get over that pesky hangover. First, stop right there. Leave that bottle alone. Hair of the dog does not work; it just delays the inevitable. Actually, that's not exactly true. It is the cure. Just keep drinking and never stop. You'll just be dead. Now, pad into the kitcheroo and get out the skillet. Make yourself a nice feed of bacon and eggs. Or a grilled cheese sandwich. Better yet, a BLT. Protein is the ultimate gift for drunks and dieters. Chase it down with chai tea. Or coffee if you prefer. The caffeine will help. So will the spices in the chai tea. If this gives you heartburn, chug-a-lug a large glass of soda water with Agostura Bitters. You'll...

We never go out on New Year's Eve. Cabs are impossible to get. People drink too much and feel it entitles them to slobber all over you. Midnight is way too late for old folks like us. So we're staying in. Practicing moderation. Probably go to bed at nine. But as an early present to my bleaders, I've compiled a list of celebrations you might want to take in on the flat screen or on your iPhone. Here's the lineup. You're welcome. CNN : The whitest man in America, Anderson Cooper, still can't get a date, so he's once again teaming up with Kathy Griffin (is she or isn't she a tranny?) to ring in the New Year from Planet Hollywood in Vegas. Look for Anderbum to bring his mom. Interest factor: -10) NBC : The usually funny NBC is settling for Carson Daly who will host from Times Square with Jay-Z and Rihanna. Green Day will also perform. At least the music will be funny. (+8) ABC: The fossil is back. Dick Clark will be gumming his way throug...