Rose's Cantina

My son Nick came up from his lair sporting a pair of unkempt side burns and some scruffy chin hair. He looked like Wolverine, if Wolverine were a short, glassy-eyed pot smoker and not Hugh Jackman. "Why don't you shave that off?" I pleaded. "Can't," he sniffed. "It's Movember. I'm doing it for Shyla's dad." "It's Movember," I retorted. "Not Sidevember or Chinvember." "I know, but I can't grow a moustache." And with that, he took himself and his bong back downstairs. In certain communities, it's Movember forever. Guys grow facial hair not to support cancer but to support their slacker lifestyle. They're too lazy to shave. Some can't wait for Movember when the boss says it's alright to sport any type of pube-style facial hair. Some, in fact, do raise money for prostate cancer research while the others claim they're movembering to raise awareness. I'm calling ...

I woke up this morning feeling, well, curmudgeonly. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's the general economic downturn. Maybe it's my age. In any event, it's time to vent. I would like to know why Prime Minister Harper has left his homeland and become a professional world traveller. He's in Hawaii for yet another one of those stupid A meetings and one of the three amigos is a no show. So why didn't he just cancel the trip? And why does Laureen Harper have to tag along to Hawaii for the A-something meeting? Shouldn't she have her glue gun out decorating one ball or another? Would she be going if the meeting were in Afganistan? I was at the gymnasty yesterday, on the rowing machine, and I noticed a couple of Lou Lou Liz Lemons standing on the spiral staircase having a chat. People couldn't get by. The two stick figures were completely oblivious. What's with that? I felt like yelling at them to move along. The gymnasty has more emp...