Rose's Cantina

Embed from Getty Images We can talk around the subject of whether Canada needs a Governor-General anymore, but there is no question that the current G-G has to go. Julie Payette might be a world leading voice in science, medicine, space travel and so on, but she obviously sucks at human relations. According to a CBC report , Payette spends her days plucking the wings off her employees, and reduces them to puddles in the parking lot.  Nothing these employees do matters. None of them are worthy, their work is shoe-pucky, and only she is able to fulfill all the duties of the Office of the Governor-General. So she tears up their stuff, berates them for hours on planes where they are held captive for hours, and gives them a twenty-question quiz on space. Word, Your Excellency! The Governor-General has no jurisdiction in space. The job of the Governor-General is to smile, wave and make nice with Canadians, pin medals on their chests, eat over-priced food made specifically to ...

Yesterday, I saw a cauliflower, that magical Unicorn-like vegetable that people have been taking out bank loans to purchase. It was $1.99 in Canadian dollars, 10 cents on the American side. We took two, the only two, and looked around and saw a man eyeing our purchase. "Do you want one?" Scott asked. "They are the only ones in the half price bin." The man smiled wanly. "No, " he said. "You take them. I'm not sure we'll eat it tonight. But thanks." "No, you take it," Scott said. "No, you." "No, you!" It is a cliché in the rest of the world to say that Canadians are the nicest people on the planet. But this exchange is direct evidence that it is true. In other countries, people would be fighting over it, ripping each other apart in the quest for the Holy Vegetable Grail. But not us. Today, I went back to the grocery store, and I accidentally forgot my iPhone 6 in the grocery cart. When I got ...

As William Shatner noted yesterday, Chris Hadfield is one big show off. What can't the guy do? He's a doctor. An astronaut. A singer/songwriter. Triple threat really. Winner of this year's edition of  World Idol. Chris Hadfield is a nerd amongst nerds, a guy who makes geekism cool. Like the boys on the Big Bang Theory. Until Chris Hadfield, nobody wanted to be an astronaut. Especially a Canadian astronaut. Now space travel is cool again. Where do we sign up? Oh wait. The Harpos are gutting the Canadian Space Agency, making it a laughing stock. They are cutting research, too. Seems Stephen Harper didn't pass his science and math exams. Doesn't see the benefit of evidence-based science. No matter. Today is not a day to gripe about assholes. Today is a day to embrace our inner geek. Chris, we Canadians are so damned proud of you, we are practically showing our bra straps! Throwing you virtual panties. How can we possibly repay you for making lea...

Exactly why hasn't Commander Chris Hadfield won an Order of Canada? Same reason Stephen Harper is still Prime Minister. Canadians are idiots. Meanwhile, here's my dedication to the Space Cowboy. Long live bodily fluid living inside your suit.  

Last night, Canada got a big lecture from Brian Williams, the host of 30 Rockafeller Center.   Williams gave us an earful about how Canadians don't appreciate Chris Hadfield, Canada's favorite space cadet. Before Hadfield, nobody gave a crap about the Space Station. Now everybody wants to go.   The NBC host showed clips of the the Space Station commander talking to the kids about space tooth paste and how to make a sandwich in zero gravity. We saw the awesome pictures Hadfield has taken. We even heard a tune or two. I mean what can't the guy do?   At the end of the piece, Williams made an impassioned plea for Canadians to honor our spaceman with the tiny little pin and medal.   The Order of Canada.   What? You mean Chris Hadfield does not have the Order of Canada?   Why did we not know this?   It's not like it's hard to get one.   You just need to be nominated and not be a criminal.   ...