Rose's Cantina

On January 28th, Bell Canada has invited us all to talk about mental illness. Why wait four days? Let's talk now. I'm sorry Ma Bell, but as I don't own one of your phones, I can't text on one, and therefore, I can't donate five cents for every text I send to the cause of fighting mental illness. Also can't contribute to your bottom line. Sorry. So I'll talk here, in this forum. First, let's start with your commercials. How much research went into your commercials because they are completely bogus. The first scenario, above, would never happen. First, that guy doesn't look depressed exactly. He looks like he might have lost his keys and is trying to make a mental note as to how to find them. Or maybe he missed his hockey game cause he slept in. In any event, if he were in a state of depression, he would not be sitting in front of a window with the blinds up with phone in front of him. He would be in bed, in the dark, so no one would ...

I have just returned from the Rexall Drugstore where I waited ten minutes to get the flu shot. I didn't feel it, not even a prick. Gosh, I thought, the pharmacist is a lot better than the nurses at my doctor's office, which is next door and had a line up of about fifty people who presumably were there because they have the flu. I didn't see one person who was sick at the pharmacy. The line up at the Pharmaplus was exactly no one except a worried gentleman who never had the flu shot before, a man who grilled me about how many times I've had it, whether I had side effects. I thought, man up, dude, it's just a flu shot. I get the flu shot ever year and this is why. I got a job at the Bruyere Hospital after SARS hit Ontario. I worked for one week, then felt sick and my boss told me not to tell anybody. I ended up so sick I had to quit my job. My health crisis lasted six months, during which time I nearly coughed up both my lungs. I believe I'm lu...

I went for my first physical exam in years yesterday with the dithering Dr. Ben, a former resident of Morocco who, while fluent in the language of love, has some difficulty communicating in the language of world enterprise. Don't get me wrong; he's a lovely man, an older gentleman with a warm smile and a je ne sais quoi? attitude. A change in a mole? No problem, madame, ven it groz beeg I vill take it out! Anxiety? No, you do not have anxiety! Exercise! I couldn't help but be amused. He kind of reminded me of Dr. Spaceman on 30 Rock. If Dr. Spaceman rode a camel. First, it was clear that Dr. Ben didn't have much experience with computers. He picked and misspelled and backspaced on each word, then announced the word out loud, almost triumphantly. Normal! He also didn't seem to have any of the right equipment or supplies to do a physical on a woman of my size and age. The baby blue top I was given didn't begin to cover my breasts. It was the s...

There will be a lot of testerone expelled at bars today over an article in the Ottawa Citizen which explains why hormones make women crazy. It's definitely worth a read, ladies, if you want to get your blood boiling. The author, David Sherman, explores in detail all the crazy behavior women experience every 28 days as well as the absolute nuttery that accompanies perimenopause and menopause. It's true that our hormones do sometimes get the best of us. I, myself, spent years being held hostage by the hormonal rollercoaster which left me often times shaking from panic attacks and unable to leave the homestead. But I will go on record as saying I have never slugged a man with a leg of lamb when I was on the rag. Nor did I plug a husband with a bullet for using the wrong dish towel. I especially take issue with the writer's description of men as the softer sex, gentle folk who sit on the sidelines puzzled by the strange behavior of their spouses. "If men ...

For twenty years, I had a family doctor whom I absolutely adored. He was a Franco-Ontarian, movie star handsome, soft-spoken and caring. He ran a small practice on Dalhousie Street in Ottawa, as well as a couple of satellite clinics in Bourgette and Clarence Creek. When he closed his Ottawa practice, I used to drive out to the country to see him because I loved him. He did more than check my vitals; he listened. About five years ago, Dr. Jacques decided to cut back. He said he'd had it with the long hours and the paperwork, and was ultimately going to retire. Because I had stopped seeing him on a frequent basis, I was being cut as a patient. I was mortified. I was able to find another doctor, the one I lovingly refer to as The Worst Family Doctor in Ontario. He's not really THE WORST, I suspect, but he certainly doesn't live up to the standards that Dr. Jacques maintained. I think it's a big problem for my generation, the patients who grew up with the Ma...