Rose's Cantina

On Sunday, Canadians everywhere will be celebrating this nation's birthday. Or will it be on Monday? Nobody is really sure. I'll be celebrating on Monday, as it is the official holiday and my 56th birthday. I've invited the usual suspects to dine, dance and puke in my rose garden. Actually, nobody pukes anymore and I no longer have a rose garden. Mostly, people will eat what we put out. I always try to do something different and, this year, I'm going to make banana splits and watermelon margaritas. We'll throw in a few sliders, sausages and grilled dog meat. We have a couple of dead dogs in the freezer; we'll just cook 'em up and see if anybody notices. We'll tell everybody it's moosemeat. Seriously, before anyone rats me out to PETA, do you think I would ever do such a thing? NEVER! Unless I was in a plane crash and a pack of Huskies came along and I hadn't eaten for days. Even then. I'd probably eat the pilot first. I digres...

Cabinet Ministers in Canada are acting like a bunch of spoiled kids. Really, they are spoiled fat kids who can't walk from Centre Block to West block. As a result, we the Canadian taxpayers are forced to pay up to $20,000 extra a year in overtime for their drivers to wait on them hand and foot. (Mostly foot!) These lard asses should be forced to wear pedometers and the results should be downloaded into a database which is available on Access to Information. There is no excuse. It is recommended that the average Canadian walk 10,000 steps to ensure good health and a trim figure. Obviously, not many Cabinet Ministers are walking more than a block without assistance. Perhaps their Body Mass Indices should be posted as well.