Rose's Cantina

According to today's Globe and Mail , the Royal Family is suing the French magazine Closer and trying to get an injunction to stop the resale of topless images of Kate Middleton. All weekend, the press releases were flying: threatening, cajoling, pleading with the French to stop the madness of showing the Royal Teets. Closer's response? Vee fart in your general direction. Ah hem. Okay, it's time for a reality check. If the Palace doesn't want Kate getting photographed for striking the pose, perhaps Kate should consider not striking the pose within eyeshot of a public road. It's not like she's an ingenue who doesn't know any better. Kate Middleton lobbied for the job of the future Queen of England. She wasn't Princess Diana, an 18-year-old child. She was nearly thirty before she took on the job. She should know better, and so should her sister Pippa. I don't know about you, but I rarely have been seen parading about topless or nude fo...

I was thinking of suggesting to Charles that he gets hairplugs. Everytime I see the hair to the throne I want to rush him with some of that spray-on hair to get rid of that ugly bald spot on the back of his head. Word, Chuck: In no way is your chrome dome helped by the combover. You often wonder about the Royal Family. In spite of having a cabbage patch load of servants, does anybody ever call them on stuff? Say the Queen has her skirt tucked into her granny hose. Does anyone say anything? What's the protocol for "ma'am, you've got broccoli in your teeth" or "your Royal Hiney, you have a booger up your nose"? Certainly nobody told Lilibet about the hats. I'm thinking all this while reading Jane Taber blather on in the Globe and Mail about the Royal Hounds who are attending Canada over the next few days. I'm a grudge-monger, I'll admit it, and as a Canadian taxpayer, I do not want my government to spend a single dime on Camilla, not...