Pic of the Day

I am trying to take a momentary break for a minute from anger-scrolling over our shit-ass Russian-puppet President right now so there's a new promotional picture of Jake Gyllenhaal and Denzel Washington for their new stage adaptation of Othello -- I've been entering the lottery every day trying to get cheap tickets but so far come up with bupkis; it hasn't even been a week though so y'all keep me in your prayers! Somebody snapped a photo (seen below) of the cast taking a bow the other day and it looks like Jake is full Jarhead in it, and that is some shit I need to see in the flesh y'all. Regular tickets for the show are so outrageously expensive though the lottery's the only way I'll be seeing it. 

OH GOD HE'S IN UNIFORM TOO LIVE ACTION JARHEAD

[image or embed]

— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) February 27, 2025 at 2:48 PM

Stay Sexy & Fuck Along

Valentines Day is my second to least favorite holiday so really I say fuck this nonsense, but I do want to spread a good bit of love and filth to you readers, who are each and every one of you my favorite hot sluts in the world. The world is a flaming piece of shit but we can cling each other as it burns, at least -- and hopefully we'll rip the throats out of some Republicans along the way. That's romance, baby! Y'all have a great weekend and a warning (yes now a warning) -- I have Monday, aka President's Day, off, because we are all in mourning of the concept of "a legitimate President." So I'll be back Tuesday. If we survive til then anyway! Bye, loves!

Garfield's Great Big Globes

Not to overdo it with Andrew Garfield this week (much to my hater boyfriend's chagrin no doubt -- although he did give Andy a compliment last night saying that "the beard makes his face less disgusting" lol; unlike me he's not a fan!) but I loved the green Versace suit he wore to the Globes. And our boy knew he looked good and he was slutting it up like nobody's business...

... with all the extra cleavage emphasis. So we're giving him this little spotlight, our boyfriend be damned! I'm actually really posting now because I forgot to mention the Globes at all in this morning's Andy post, even though I watched the whole damned thing -- did anybody else watch? Winner of the night to my eye was Demi for that truly lovely speech she gave. And our beloved Tadanobu Asano of course!

Tadanobu!!!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/DxrWSNETJC

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) January 6, 2025

But Tadanobu always wins, just by being Tadanobu. But I am curious what y'all thought of the show, the winners, the fashion. So if you have any thoughts please toss them my way in the comments. And in return I have an entire gallery of Andy being the bearded belle of the ball (with a couple of bonus guests!) after the jump... 

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Road House (2024)

Dalton: You know that conchs produce pearls?

Ellie: Yes.

Dalton: And that they have ornate spiral...

Ellie: Shells. Yes, everyone knows that.

Dalton: That one in every 15,000 produces a pink pearl. 

Ellie: Sounds romantic. Unless you're a conch. 

Because what actually happens is the conch gets a bit 

of grit inside its shell, which causes extreme irritation.

Dalton: "Extreme irritation"... that leads 

to something beautiful. How is that not romantic?

Okay I don't want to encourage the Road House remake too much because I really didn't love it, but I will admit that the last time I was home visiting friends I somehow ended up re-watching it and it washed over me with less spite a second time. I'm now of the mind that it's more harmless than anything -- but still give the esteem the original holds as far as being a perfect piece of trash cinema, "harmless" isn't cutting anybody's mustard. But here on our Jake's 44th birthday as we wish him a very happy day we'll allow it. And if nothing else...

... Jake knew well enough to not skimp on the exploitation and to stay properly half-naked for most of the movie. He's a good boy. Have you seen this video of his hot ass practising an action scene? I only just caught this one last week:

I will be watching the sequel. 

Happy birthday, Jake!

One Week To Get Your Ho On!

Hope your hollies are ready to get jollied y'all.

The Sexy Man...

... to end all sexy men has entered.

Thank You For This, Jake

Good doggy.

Good Morning, Jake

Happy Monday mystery solved! Back in August I posted a video of Jake Gyllenhaal shaving his hair off in a mirror having no idea why he'd posted the video on his Insta -- appreciatevly, obviously, but still a little mysified -- but now with his Document Journal photoshoot being revealed over the weekend we have our answer! It was for this photoshoot. Also I assume he was buzzing his hair off for a role and decided to kill two sexy birds at once, getting the process photographed for our pleasure...

... and it worked. I feel pleased? Don't you feel pleased? I really love this photoshoot (from photographer Casper Sejersen) by the way -- the surrealism, the psuedo-Lunchian vibes -- some of these photos could be called Eraserhead-lite. And now I am picturing Jake in a David Lynch movie -- swoon. I'd probably die from the pleasure of that meeting. Of course Donnie Darko is Lynch meets like Sweet Sixteeen. His Villenueve movie Enemy is Lynchian as well. Make more scary movies, Jake! Anyway I already posted the cover image from this shoot here, but now we have the rest so hit the jump for the rest...

Take a Jake Break

All I have as of now is this cover image, but Jake Gyllenhaal is on the new cover of Document Journal (via) and why wouldn't I jump right on here and share this even before we have any more of the shoot? He looks sharp as fuck and we deserve it dammit.

Gone Fishin'

Hey everybody, a heads-up -- I know I don't post over the weekends anyway so this isn't much time we're missing cradled in one another's sweet sweet embrace, but I thought I'd let you know I'm cutting out a little early today for the weekend so this is it for today I am afraid! But I have stuff for you to read if the movies out this weekend are of interest to you -- I reviewed the Demi Moore body-horror delight The Substance earlier today right here, and I reviewed A Different Man with Sebastian Stan awhile back right here. Oh and also there is a movie out today in theaters and on VOD that's called Omni Loop that stars Mary-Louise Parker and Ayo Edebiri that I haven't gotten around to reviewing but which I liked very much -- you should try and see that. It's not going to blow your mind but it's lovely and smart and well-performed by those two terrific actresses. Here is the trailer:

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... helping Jake keep it tight. (via)

I don't know why Jake decided to do this to me today, but there that is -- a 26-second video of him buzzing his hair off while wearing a tank top, gold chain and gray sweatpants (!!!). I already had a hard (ahem) time focusing yesterday when Kit Harington's ass was all over my timeline -- now I'm really done for. Can we call it a week? I need to go lie down for awhile. Anyway here is the final product:

Per usual, HOT AF. And of course I made gifs out of 

every single second of this, so hit the jump for the gifs...

Good Morning, World

I wrote a post once about how often Jake does "being sad in the shower" scenes (and yes it was stuffed with images, of course it was, so click on that link) and I kept thinking about that watching Presumed Innocent, his Apple+ series that just had its finale this week. Because there was a scene of him showering in nearly every episode -- either running on his treadmill or showering after said run or both, or one one wonderful ocassion dropping his grays weatpants after his run and giving us a great show. 

Anyway my point is I will miss the Weekly Jake Gyllenhaal Shower Program -- it was great while it lasted. (I have a feeling the already announced "second season" will center on different characters, but I guess we'll see.) But was it though? Great, I mean? The showering was - the show itself was really just fine. Sometimes riveting and well-acted (no I am not talking to you, O-T Fagbenle -- you are in prison for that voice) but mostly just kinda there. (And I agree with my pal Dustin at Pajiba on the ending they picked.) But the show did give us lots of fleeting shots of Jake vigorously humping, and for that we cannot, we will not, totally dismiss it.

Good Morning, World

You know -- I have mixed feelings about Presumed Innocent, Jake Gyllenhaal's ongoing Apple+ series about a lawyer who might have murdered his mistress... or I did have mixed feelings, anyway. Then they showed Jake's butt on this week's episode and all has just... vanished? I don't mean just my critical thoughts. I mean all of my thoughts. I don't know what's going on or where I am. Jake could murder me right now and I wouldn't even notice. Total vegetable town over here. Just drool and widening eyes. Now that's entertainment! Five stars, no regrets! (In all seriousness I am an episode behind so don't spoil anything for me. I just had to share these gifs before the week was through, for obvious reasons.)

Say Cheese, Jake

Cheese, Jake.

Jake Takes Tribeca

Remember that scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere bangs Julia Roberts on the piano in the hotel bar? I hadn't thought of that scene in eons but looking at that photo of Jake Gyllenhaal brought it all flooding right back for some reason. Huh, wonder why? Aaanyway that photo is one I missed from his THR shoot last week -- see the rest here. I come bearing (and baring!) a few other Jake-flavored things, too -- most importantly the word that... 

Yeah so #PresumedInnocent is now streaming on Apple+ https://t.co/E6RZaeDTpG pic.twitter.com/dvCJojRflO

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) June 13, 2024

... yes, his Apple+ series Presumed Innocent is now streaming on Apple+. I think it's just the first two episodes? I don't know, I haven't checked, but I do believe this series is a weekly thing not a binge-it-all-at-once thing. I got to see the first two episodes at Tribeca this past week, which you might already know if you saw me shrieking on Twitter about stumbling into Jake in person -- in the flesh, as they say -- right before the screening. I posted a couple of photos on Twitter but why would I not share more if I have more? Indeed -- there is no coherent reason why I would not do that. So let's hit the jump for Jake's flesh in the vicinity of my flesh (including a video from the Q&A following the screening!)...

Jake Gyllenhaal Seven More Times

Well no I didn't have any intentions of posting today, now that you ask. But seven more photos of Jake Gyllenhaal's photo-shoot that I shared with you yesterday popped up (via) and I am sitting here at home, having just gotten back from a Tribeca screening trying to cool myself down from the wretched heat outside, so might as well. Right? Right. Only for Jake! (Who, as I noted in yesterday's post, I will be in a room with this weekend! And yes before you ask I already made sure my boyfriend has bail money for me so no worries.) Oh and as long as I'm here I won't be posting Monday, I'll be buried in more Tribeca screenings. So enjoy these an extra day! I'm so goddamned generous. Hit the jump for them all...

Tom Mercier Takes Tribeca (Me Too)

The 2024 edition of the Tribeca Film Festival kicked off last night and runs through next Sunday the 16th -- you can check out the entire line-up and such right here. One of my most anticipated movies at the festival is called Darkest Miriam and yes, it stars our boy Tom Mercier (of Synonyms and We Are Who We Are fame) as a cab driver who romances a librarian in Toronto -- Tom would be enough to get me to watch the movie but the big reveal is this was produced by no less than Charlie Kaufman! Now we're talking. I really have no idea what to expect from it since they use words like "unclassifiable" to describe it, but I can't wait.

Anyway I've been steeped deep in Tribeca screeners for the past couple of weeks and have actually already watched over twenty films! You can as always keep track of what I am watching via my Letterboxd, although I tend to just log movies without writing anything out on them, especially when they're movies not out yet. My "Tribeca 2024" specific list can be found right here. 

Tis that time of year again! #tribeca pic.twitter.com/oT9nCwZnDC

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) June 6, 2024

But to get to my point over the next couple of weeks I'll be pounding out reviews of some of these movies and I'll be going to lots of in-person screenings, so it might be a lot of very little other than that until the fest is over. I'm a busy busy bee, yo. I will try to update you with posts on each thing as it happens, but there will probably be some lag -- as always it's best to stay tuned to my socials for more immediate updating. Especially Twitter. Elon be damned I still never shut up on Twitter. In summation -- right now I am gonna go work on some of those reviews, so don't expect much else today. Here's one more exciting thing though -- I will be attending the premiere of Jake Gyllenhaal's Presumed Innocent series on Sunday night! Jake will be there for a Q&A! So keep an eye on my Instagram since I'll obviously post pictures from that if possible. 

Jake Gyllenhaal Shirtless Cinema Spectacular

Our Jake is on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter today and unbelievably after all of these many many years being obsessed I learned three new things about him via the interview included alongside the pictures -- apparently he is legally blind and has to wear corrective lenses? How the fuck did that information remain elusive all these years? And the second bit is far less substantial but pretty amusing, having to do with the goofy reason that the Road House remake was born: 

"Road House, the apotheosis of Gyllenhaal’s mid-career action era, has an amusingly shallow origin story: He and director Doug Liman ran into each other at a 5K they were both running on Martha’s Vineyard during the pandemic. Gyllenhaal had been spending lockdown doing a lot of biking and was incredibly fit, and Liman decided he wanted to make a movie with him with his shirt off."

You know -- maybe I didn't love the Road House re-do, but I love this, and I love Doug Liman for this, and all the movie's mediocrity is now forgiven. More movies made simply to get Jake's shirt off, please! And the third new thing from the interview -- he apparently has a role in his sis Maggie's next movie, the Bride of Frankenstein update with Christian Bale and Jessie Buckley! No word on what but let's hope it's a naked corpse on a slab. What? Don't look at me that way. Anyway words and revelations are nifty but sexy pictures are even better, so go ahead and hit the jump for the pictures now...

Happy 19 (Plus One Day), MNPP

Linking to my reviews this past weekend wasn't the only thing I forgot to do this past weekend -- I also totally spaced on the fact that yesterday was this website's 19th birthday! My very first post on this site was written on June 2nd 2005 if you can believe that shit. The shit we've seen! And the amount of nonsense I have barfed up about it! I can't even believe we'll be celebrating our 20th anniversary next year -- perhaps I will attempt to do something proper, or perhaps I will be myself and be lazy and distracted and totally forget to; that would be fitting given this site's history. 

Anyway these 1999 photos of Jake Gyllenhaal from when he was 19 years old seemed like the correct way to celebrate our 19th birthday. And another good way to celebrate, and the one indulgence I allow myself at this annual moment, is to shake my little donation bell (is that what I call it) for donations to help keep the lights on. If you wanna toss a penny or ten our way you can do so at this link, or at the PayPal button in the right-hand column. We deeply and profoundly appreciate it every time somebody kicks us some appreciation, whether it be monetarily or just a nice word. Thanks for coming back all these years y'all! Now hit the jump for two more vintage Jake snaps...

Jake Gyllenhaal Seven Times

The only thing that gets me to watch SNL anymore is Jake Gyllenhaal hosting, so I did indeed watch this weekend's season finale and I will do my usual and now share the bumper photos of him that they showcase right before the commercials, which are always my favorite thing of all when he hosts. I was surprised to discover upon googling it just now that he's only hosted three times now? I could've sworn it was more but that's probably just my brain holding a lot of real estate for a few of his skits. It seems generally accepted that this episode's highlight was the Scooby Doo skit and I'd have to agree. But the episode was also a good reminder that it's criminal, absolutely criminal, that Jake has yet to star in a musical film. He keeps making his beefcake action movies when there's a musical theater queen just screaming to come out! So let him out, Jake! Let him siiiiiing! Hit the jump for the photos...