Showing posts with label Ari Graynor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ari Graynor. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 03, 2022

Good Morning, World


One of the things that's fallen by the wayside over the past couple of weeks of my busy-ness with my trip home and the Fantasia Film Fest has been television shows, several of which i have some catching-up-with to do, but I did managae the night before last to finally watch the first episode of Surface, Apple's new series that obviously has a casting director who loves MNPP as the cast stars MNPP-beloveds like Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Stephan James, François Arnaud, Ari Graynor, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, and, seen here flaunting that full bush (top half edition) of his, Mr. Oliver Jackson-Cohen. (I previously shared the trailer here.) I know there have been a few more episodes released so y'all don't spoil anything for me please and thank you, but if you want to share your vague non-specific thoughts do so in the comments! I'm drawn in already, but mainly because of the cast -- it feels like it's hitting the Big Little Lies / Little Fires Everywhere with its mystery and world notes a little hard though, right? Like it's underlining all of the prestige-cable lady-story points really hard. We're rich and terrible people! We will see. Anyway hit the jump for one bonus gif (this scene shoulda been longer)...

Monday, June 27, 2022

The Stacked Cast of Surface Says Howdy


Here is one I have been looking forward to for ages now -- Apple+ has debuted the trailer for their upcoming series Surface today, which stars (and you're about to get why I have been looking forward to this one forever) Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Stephan James, Ari Graynor, François Arnaud, and Marianne Jean Baptiste (I mean! Phew!) and is about a woman (Gugu) who has amnesia after "falling" over the side of a boat and who tries to put the pieces of her memories back together, all while that hubby of hers (OJC) becomes more and more sinister-seeming by the second. It's all very upscale Lifetime. I kind of love that Olly has become the go-to for Hot Scary Husbands...

... and y'all know how very very very much I am reading into this shot of him with François Arnaud in the trailer, right? Right. Oliver Jackson-Cohen playing a closet-case would be very funny though! Haha. Sigh. Let's just hope they give them an actual sex scene and it's not just lots of leaning towards each other with weighted meaningful glances. Also let's give it up for...

... some Ari Graynor looking fabulous! We've been rooting for Ari ever since she gifted the world with the world's most disgusting toilet scene in Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist thirteen years ago (good grief) and we're always happy when she pops up. All that said here's that trailer...


Surface premieres on July 29th! Can't wait...



Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Charlie: The most exciting part of the sex that we 
just had was when my penis chafed by your NuvaRing.

Oh my lord did anybody else forget this movie existed? I had totally forgotten this movie existed. Remember when we almost got Ari Graynor as a thing? I wish we would have, she is so funny and talented but Hollywood just didn't seem to know what to do with her. She hasn't stopped working -- she was terrific on Mrs. America just last year -- but I want to see her more. But speaking of people that Hollywood hasn't figured out what to do with -- we're here today not for Ari, but because it's James Wolk's birthday! 

As much as I forgot this movie existed I forgot even more that James Wolk was in it -- and shirtless to boot! I think he's only in the opening scene seen having sex with and summarily breaking up with the not-Ari other lead character (played by co-writer Lauren Miller Rogen) but what a scene. The movie is on HBO Max or rentable on Amazon if you wanna see it again or for the first time -- when I did my capsule review at the time I called it "totally charming.. totally a Pink Box Movie and unashamed of that fact." I'm adding it to my list for another go, here on the (good grief) almost 10-year anniversary. 

Anyway happy birthday, James! I hope your role in George Clooney's upcoming Olympic Rowing Team movie (is there any point side-eyeing George Clooney about this shit anymore?) The Boys in the Boat (previously spoken about here) is a good one, and I don't just mean that you show off those famous gams. (I do mean that though, in part.) Hit the jump for some gifs from FAGTC (that abbreviation!) that I made of James after the jump...

Thursday, June 17, 2021

I Am Link


--- Now Them's Some Women
-- I was already pleased as a punch to the happy-places when it was announced back in December that not only was Sarah Polley planning on directing her first new movie in nine years (an adaptation of the book Women Talking) but that it was going to star Frances f'ing McDormand, so trying to measure my renewed enthusiasm when a big batch of absolute queens were further announced to fill out the film's cast this week would be a folly's errand. Stratospheric shit! Said queens include Rooney Mara, Claire Foy, Jessie Buckley, and Ben f'ing Whishaw, oh my! The story "follows a group of women in an isolated religious colony as they struggle to reconcile their faith with a series of sexual assaults committed by the colony’s men." This is gonna be something y'all.

--- Friends No More -- I'll admit that my enthusiasm for In Bruges director Martin McDonagh has been dulled a bit by the projects he's done since that -- Seven Psychopaths and especially Three Billboards (ugh) were big letdowns for me -- but today's news that he's reuniting with the stars of his original masterpiece, Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson, for his next one well that gives me renewed vim n' vigor, McDonagh-wise. The film will be called The Banshees of Inisherin and will film in August and is about a pair of lifelong friends who're navigating the awkward space where they no longer want to be friends.

--- Ain't No Mountain -- Similarly it's hard to get too worked up over a new Doug Liman movie, even though his earliest work I glommed onto, 1999's Go, ranks among my all-time faves, since he hasn't made anything as good since. But I'm gonna give him another chance with this next project because it stars Ewan McGregor and Ewan is always worth a chance. It's a biopic of adventurer George Mallory, who tried to climb Mount Everest back in the 1920s, and it will co-star Mark Strong and Outlander hunk Sam Heughan.  Oh and it'll be called Everest, just like the Jake Gyllenhaal movie from a couple of years back, but I have a feeling that if Ewan has a nude scene in his Everest movie he'll let them leave it in, unlike Jake, so Ewan wins.

--- Step Up -- Another addition to the incredibly stacked cast of that true-crime adaptation The Staircase, which already had Juliette Binoche, Colin Firth, and Toni Collette -- ex-twink Dane DeHaan will now also be sleazing around the joint. I was going to make a joke about how he could play The Owl but I don't know if any of you will get that joke. Anyway I apparently missed the news that the series will also co-star Parker freaking Posey too! Everyone, literally everyone, will be there. get me to this set!

--- What's Good For The Gigolo -- An update on a project we've been keeping tabs on: the series re-do of American Gigolo starring Jon Bernthal got picked up by Showtime, a ten-episode order. It's actually technically a sequel to the movie starring Richard Gere; Bernthal's playing the same character, just years later after he's gotten out of jail. See all of MNPP's previous coverage on this series here, but pay special attention to this post. That's the winner.

--- Til Death Do -- Kristen Wiig is going to star in an adaptation of the upcoming book called The Husbands, which "follows an overworked mother who, while house-hunting in a nice suburban neighborhood, meets a group of high-powered women with enviably supportive husbands. When she agrees to take on a legal case involving the untimely death of one resident’s husband, she risks exposing not only the secrets at the heart of her own marriage, but the true secret to having it all, one worth killing for." I can't for the life of me tell the tone from that description; it could be dead serious or it could be Desperate Housewives. Even a gender-flipped Stepford Wives maybe?

--- Channing Sandwich -- Speaking of movie descriptions that I can't get a handle on the tone for, Zoe Kravitz has gone and written herself a star vehicle called Pussy Island (indeed) that will have her heading to the orgy-centric tropical getaway of a tech-billionaire (to be played by Channing Tatum, somehow); while there things go from sexy to dangerous, or something. I don't know. Just throw me in a Channing Tatum Orgy and I'll figure it out as I go.

--- And Finally since I began this post with a crazy stacked cast I'll finish with the same - Apple is producing a psychological-thriller series called Surface from the creator of the High Fidelity series, and it will star several MNPP fave babes including Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Stephan James, Ari Graynor, François Arnaud, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, and Marianne Jean Baptiste. Good grief -- Get me to that set! To all of the sets! I gotta get the fuck outta my house! Ahem. Surface is described as "an elevated thriller about a woman’s quest to rebuild her life after a suicide attempt, and her struggle to remember – and understand – everything that led up to the moment when she jumped." Gugu is the lead. (And hopefully Oliver & Francois are sharing a trailer.)

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Good Morning, World

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I think I just stumbled upon a shot from Jai Courtney's ad campaign for Bonds underwear that I missed back in 2015? I had to scour through our previous posts extensively, with a squinched up eye and a sweaty microscope -- not a hardship! -- but I'm coming down on yes, yes I missed this one. What a goddamned blessing! For all of our previous posts on this heady subject click here or click here or click here or click here or click here

Anyway I was looking for Jai pictures not for my own perverted needs (this once) but rather to attach to the news that Jai just got attached to a new thing, a limited-event Aussie TV drama about immigration called Stateless that Cate Blanchett is starring in. (Happy belated, Cate!) The series will also star Dominic West (ugh I don't like him) and Handmaid's Tale wonder Yvonne Strahovski, you can read more about its plot at that link. And I'm sure, with a cast like this, it will eventually make its way to the US.

Oh and this is besides the other limited-series TV event that Cate Blanchett announced yesterday -- did you hear about the Phyllis Schafly thing with the truly crazy cast? You need to read that if not.
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Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Good Morning, World

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A happy 21st birthday to the already-an-Oscar-nominee Lucas Hedges today! Lucas can be seen in theaters right this minute in Lady Bird, giving one of its many fine performances off-center (his scene in the alley behind Lady Bird's coffee-shop is for me the film's most moving, but then it would be) and he can be seen sometime in 2018 in Joel Edgerton's gay conversion therapy drama called Boy Erased, which we've talked of previously right here and right here. That one hopefully fulfills all the promise it's got here at the outset. 

These pictures (which by the way are very HQ, click them to embiggen) are from some play called Yen that was put on here in NYC about a year ago - I'm pretty sure this morning is the first I've heard of it (I can be lousy with keeping track of theater) even though it co-starred by beloved Ari Graynor. Did anybody see it? 


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Great Moments In Movie Shelves #9

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I did the 2012 phone-sex comedy For a Good Time Call for today's "Five Frames" and as I scanned through the film I was reminded that James Wolk is in this movie, and hey oh wait a minute there's James Wolk waving around a glass of wine in front of some bookshelves!

That checks off the full list of everything that matters in life 
all at once. Wolk, check, booze, check...

... a pile of books upon which to
drunkenly hump James Wolk, check!!!


Monday, April 27, 2015

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Caroline: I found Jesus! 
Norah: What? 
Caroline: Jesus! He's much taller in person.

A very happy birthday to Ari Graynor!
Why isn't Ari Graynor everywhere by now?
We really dropped the ball on this one, guys.
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Friday, July 19, 2013

Good Morning, Webber

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I think this might be the first "waking up in a van down by the river" good morning post I've ever done. It's the actor Mark Webber's 33rd birthday today - that shot is from something called The Lie, in which... well Mark Webber has a beard. And sleeps in a van. River TBD. 

That's a beard and a half, yo! Anyway I was literally just thinking of Mark Webber two days ago when I posted that shot of Ari Graynor being adorable in For a Good Time Call, and I remembered how adorable Mark was in that movie.

He also looked stupefyingly like someone I know in real life - like, so much so that it seemed as if he were costuming himself and posing like this person. It was really weird.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Thursday, February 21, 2013

I Am Link

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--- Snowed In - Before you read anything else today if you haven't read the interview with the actress who played Snow White in that infamous Oscars skit with Rob Lowe in 1989, go read it, it is amazing. AMAZING. I wish it were twenty times longer. It made me run out and buy the biography of the producer of that year's show Allan Carr at lightning speed. Oh and you can watch that infamous Snow White skit at this link if you've never seen it. I watched it last night for maybe the first time (I can't remember what year I started watching the Oscars so I might have seen it live) and no wonder Rob Lowe went into that downward spiral of drugs and underage girls after it. I almost ordered up some blow and headed to Thailand myself just watching it.

--- Les Hobbit - I'm glad that Nat posted this at TFE too so I don't have to link to his Facebook where he'd posted it earlier - this dude singing "I Dreamed A Dream" from Les Mis as Gollum is the best thing on the internet right now. Well second best after that Snow White thing.

--- Colorful Interference - Over at Stale Popcorn Glenn's taking a look at a whole bunch of recent movie posters and their respective worths; I'd been meaning to say what he says about digging the Trance poster - it's been getting a lot of shit online but I think it's killer.

--- Puppy Love - I love Evan Dorkin's Beasts of Burden stories (about a bunch of dogs and a cat that investigate paranormal activities in their small town; they're much darker than you anticipate based off that description) so I've been wanting to hear more about the long-gestating movie adaptation - now there's word that the dude that made that totally forgotten by me animated film 9 has hopped on-board to direct. Since I never saw 9 I cannot say.

--- Jesse Unchained - I haven't found the chance to read this yet but I've been totally meaning to - Jesse Williams, the very handsome young actor we've gratuitized round these parts several times, has some words (a lot of them!) on Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained. I have no idea what they are, pro or con, as I haven't read it yet. But they are words (a lot of them).

--- Juli Always - Also on my To Read list, here's an interview with Greatest Living Actress Juliette Binoche at The Playlist. Apparently she talks about Michael Haneke and Leos Carax, amongst others, says the headline.

--- Law Man - Taylor Kitsch is reduced to playing a sheriff in a serial killer movie - never the sign of a career high, that. It's from a script by the guy who wrote Pandorum (ergh) but it's directed by the guy who made my favorite part of the Red Riding trilogy (the part with Andrew Garfield).

--- Crazy Pants - Shia LaBeouf has lost his damned mind (uh, that's assuming there was some sanity there to begin with, which is becoming to be the real question) and naturally this means that I like him more right now than I ever have before. Tear it down, Shia!

--- Alphabet Wallis - Speaking of semi-endearing assholes, have you read this mystery dude director's reasoning behind his Oscar ballot at THR? There are several hysterical assholish quotes that are cannot miss. I read somewhere that people think it might be William Friedkin, which I could totally see.

--- Best Teacher - This is already twenty times better than the movie - super-funny and talented Ari "Balls deep!" Graynor is going to star in the TV adaptation of Bad Teacher, that Cameron Diaz says the word "fuck" a lot movie. Although I will miss the sight of Justin Timberlake dry-humping in jeans. That was a keeper.

--- Hair Ball - The latest new picture from The Wolverine doesn't have a single nipple in it - what am I supposed to do with this shit? Get back to me when you've got something for me, Hugh Jackman. And by "something" I mean... well several things would do.
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Friday, January 04, 2013

Ten Little Reviews

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Alright if I don't just do this right now, wham bam, I might never do this. We'd be wham-less and bam-less! And that's no good. So let's do it. There are ten movies I watched over the holiday break that I haven't written anything about yet, opinion-wise. I am now going to attempt, totally off-the-cuff, to give you some thoughts upon them. Some of them are already getting vague in my memory. So... this should be fun...? Or nonsense. Either way it shall come to pass, I boom in my best Ian McKellen. Ahem. Here we go.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower - I sort of live tweeted this one; anyway I made it clear therein that I absolutely adored the film, and that's a feeling that only got stronger as it ever so sweetly rolled along. You watch a movie like this and it makes you realize how often movies don't seem to give a shit about their own characters, or have the characters therein not give a shit about each other, and how warmly rewarding it is to watch people seem to actually like each other once in awhile. It doesn't hurt that Logan Lerman and Emma Watson and Ezra Miller had some astonishingly genuine chemistry with each other. The entire movie worked for me - without being obnoxious about pushing the period stuff it brought me right back to the early 90s with a vengeance. A simple thing - how they couldn't figure out what that Bowie song was - felt so spot on and reminded me so specifically of how many songs remained these magical frustrating mysteries back before every answer was a quick google away. Little things like that ballooned outwards, and just wound me up into the film's concurrent specificity and universality. I didn't have friends like this, this wasn't my story, but it felt like it was anyway, you know? And everybody's good, but Logan Lerman is wonderful. Anyway I could watch this movie again tonight, and tomorrow night, and on. A total keeper and definitely my favorite of everything I'll be talking about here.

Django Unchained - Amongst many thoughts I was having walking out of seeing Django Unchained the one that seems to say a lot of it all at once is how much on first viewing I wasn't happy with the movie's soundtrack. That's really just unheard of for a Quentin Tarantino movie, and I think it speaks to a general air of disappointment I have with the movie. And see I write that - that I am disappointed with the movie - but then I immediately start recalling all the pieces I really enjoyed (not to mention all the think-pieces the film's inspired, which it deserves and elicits and are all very interesting) and I think to myself that "disappointed" is a strong word for it. But it's not. Pieces work but somehow the movie just really didn't gel. I mean, besides the soundtrack, are there really even that many lines of dialogue I'm going to feel the need to quote from this movie in the future? I'm guessing maybe some from that hysterically funny Ku Klux Klan scene (I'd seen bits in the trailer and thought it seemed like a decent joke but in the film itself, the way it keeps going and going, I was surprised at how hard he got me laughing with that whole sequence). Maybe my problem is that QT never got me past my Jamie Foxx problem - I just do not like Jamie Foxx, and that never much relented as hard as they tried. On the other hand I thought Christoph Waltz was wonderful and carried the whole thing; sure it strikes similar notes to his Basterds performance, but what he's got works, it works really well on me. I find him terrifically charming on screen. Samuel Jackson and Leo Dicaprio are also both doing marvelous work, the former perhaps the best of his career. It makes me crazy that his nomination for Supporting Actor will probably get steam-rolled by that Alan Arkin bullshit in Argo.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen - It was a very smart person who decided that Ewan MacGregor and Emily Blunt should star in a movie opposite each other with their natural accents. The movie just glides right along on all of that charm. I mean there is nothing more to it than that (although Kristin Scott Thomas has a couple of awkward laughs tossed about in there) but on a crappy afternoon on the couch there are worse ways to spend a couple of hours than with these two sparkling dears.

John Dies at the End - I really wanted to like this, I ached inside to like this, I really enjoyed the book (you should read the book and you should read the book's sequel, they're both great fun). But I did not. I did not like this movie. It's one of those instances where something works great on the page but is absolutely without a doubt unsustainable on-screen. In the sort of way where you go back and have to reassure yourself that you really did like the book, and somehow it really did work there, and you aren't a crazy person who should have your brain checked. The two guys they got to play Dave and John are likeable enough for total newcomers, they weren't the problem. (Although this could've been a rave review if they'd have made out once or twice, just sayin.) It's just too out there for its own good. It stops seeming interesting and becomes this dulled hum of eye-buggering wackiness.

Hello I Must Be Going - How I spent My Summer Vacation - Watching movies about Melanie Lynskey diddling young boys. Thankfully she keeps it legal in this one (although barely!) She's wonderful here though, adrift and sad and not entirely likeable at all except for, you know, being Melanie Lynskey and therefore being totally likeable anyway. Movies like this, where we get to see a character actor shine in a leading role, they can be such a treat. She takes the chance and runs with it, turning in some fascinating and lovely work. And hey if I had the chance I'd let Christopher Abbott go down on me in front of my parents too.

Butter - I hate it when these wanna-be-sharp black comedies lose their heartlessness and decide to get all goopy in the end. It doesn't have the courage of its wanna-be convictions. But I still liked the movie alright. With a few more script passes I could have loved it though. Olivia Wilde, who I cannot normally stand, was totally game and having fun, and the movie did nothing with her. Jennifer Garner, who I normally love, was kinda all over the place, her heart didn't seem to be totally into it, but then her character bore the brunt of the movie's indecisive tone so its not entirely her fault. In summation, Hugh Jackman looked really freaking hot as a dunderheaded car salesman in dad pants.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel - Gah I can barely remember watching this movie, but I know I did. It was like two in the morning when I finished, so you'll excuse my vagueness - I think I may have dreamt that kickboxing match between Maggie Smith and a feral Judi Dench? And Bill Nighy was there, and he was naked from the waist down, riding on Tom Wilkinson's shoulders while Tom Wilkinson was on an elephant? Or something. It was like Cocoon, only riddled with patchouli!
  
Flight - I have a very soft spot for Robert Zemeckis movies; I just like the way he rolls. His movies feel like Movies, you know? Old-fashioned very mainstream crowd-pleasing things. (At least when he's using real people not pixels, I mean.) So I was surprised at how grungy this thing got - I knew from that opening scene with all that landing-stripped lady-crotch leering that this wasn't my mother's Zemeckis. Forrest Gump would have passed right out! (Jenny would have been fine, though.) The crash scene was suitably horrific - I do love a plane crash scene. I file them away in my "This Could Happen To You!" mental binder so I can flip back to them every time I get on an airplane. This one will go great next to Fearless and Fight Club and Final Destination. I did think Denzel was good - that I haven't been able to deal with him for awhile makes that mean more than it might have a dozen years ago. I believed him. But the entire final two-thirds of the film just meanders and meanders all over the place, and this continues to be The Year of John Goodman Giving Performances I Find Tremendously Annoying. And the music was just too damned much - am I watching a movie or a series of Doritos commercials punctuated by coke-snorting?

Red Hook Summer - Right around the time I wondered what the fuck was I doing still watching this movie, it got interesting. The last half an hour or so is interesting. But the lead kid, bless him, was like the anti-matter of charisma, and there's only so much sermonizing I can handle before my eyes roll back in my head, never to return. Which is why it got interesting in the last half an hour, when things get flipped on their head, but it took a lot getting there.

For a Good Time, Call - Totally charming, as anything with Ari Graynor in it is apt to be. I really wanted to immediately go online and make gifs of her doing dirty mouth things to a dildo but I refrained (I'm sure if I were to look I could find they already exist anyway). It's totally a Pink Box Movie and unashamed of that fact but I did get a little bit weary of the fake drama of these things. Just let them be charming, dammit! Do we really have to jump through all these fake feud hoops? And Justin Long's character might have given voice once or twice to not being neutered but he still came off a little too much as the sexless gay best friend without a life of his own for my taste. Not that he wasn't fun. Maybe I just really wanted to see him make out with somebody. (Ding ding.)
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Monday, September 17, 2012

10 Stars For 10 Years

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If you follow me on Facebook or on Twitter or on Tumblr (I am quite literally everywhere now, there can be no escape) then you already know that I attended a screening of the movie 10 Years this weekend that was followed by a Q&A with (deep breath) Channing Tatum and his wife Jenna Dewan-Tatum, Max Minghella, Kate Mara, Oscar Isaac, Anthony Mackie, Brian "Gratuitous" Geraghty, Scott Porter, writer-director Jamie Linden and Ari Graynor all in attendance. (Wowza, y'all.) That there above is a video I took of each and every one of them getting called out onto stage - I was going to record the entire Q&A from start to finish but as you can tell the lighting in the theater was not my friend so I just took some pictures.

L-R: Jenna Dewan-Tatum, Channing Tatum, Kate Mara, Max Minghella
L-R: Oscar Isaac, Anthomy Mackie, Scott Porter, 
Brian Geraghty, writer-director Jamie Linden, and Ari Graynor.

What made this one of the most surreal of these sorts of things that I've ever been to was there were maybe just forty or fifty people at the screening total. The crowd on stage rivaled the crowd in the audience. I don't think the word was put out that far in advance about them all being there - I only found out 24 hours beforehand, and in a completely random spot. The film itself also hasn't, from what I've gathered, got much of a PR budget. I mean I only knew it was coming out when I read about this here Q&A.


But it was obvious they were all there because they are proud of the movie and they all like each other - they had a great easy camaraderie, and even though they were maybe a little skittish about the lack of attendees they stayed entirely positive about the experience of making the film as well as the finished product.


And they should be proud, by the way. It's a totally charming little film filled to the seams with good character work and genuine emotional undercurrents that come to the fore as the film saunters along, while also being very funny. It's one of those movies that you find yourself smiling along with, that you're effortlessly sucked into - you don't really see enough movies like this anymore, honestly. It's very mainstream stuff, but from a mainstream we don't ever get to visit anymore. Jamie Linden the director said they had Diner on their mind, and it shows. It knows how to keep things bittersweet, and it doesn't shy away from turning some of our preconceived notions on their head - mainly it's a film that really likes its characters and wants to spend time with them, and its infectious. I wanted to too.

Friday, September 14, 2012

The Master Of My Own Domain

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Every time that the trailer for Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master comes on the television I get to see a few briefs seconds of footage before I inevitably stuff my fingers in my ears and close my eyes and scream "LA LA LA" to keep myself from seeing slash hearing too much and in those few seconds I've found myself thinking, over and over, of what wonders hard living has done for Joaquin Phoenix. I've expressed this before but in the past I really just have never been a fan of looking at his face. It was like a blind person drew a cute person while riding in a car on a gravel road. But here and now in a post bearded frog-licking meltdown world Joaquin's stepped right off the edge into straight-up uglysville, and I find his face fascinating now. It no longer lives smack-dab in uncanny valley - no, that is a face I can stay riveted to for two hours now.

Not that I was ever going to avoid The Master - I'm firmly entrenched in the cult of PTA, we all know this, there's no point pretending otherwise. This has been my number one anticipated movie all year (hell since the dust settled from TWBB, honestly) and I'll have a hard time being objective. I'm seeing the film in three hours and I've got a ridiculous blanket of goosebumps already. (SEVENTY MILLIMETERS, BITCHES!) I am aware that reviews have been decidedly mixed out there in the world, even though after a couple of sentences I react to reviews the same way I've been reacting to trailers (fingers in ears, LA LA LA, et cetera). It don't matter. Just gimme gimme gimme!

But there are a few other movies out today besides this preordained masterpiece, and you can hear my brief thoughts upon them over at Celebrity Beehive. How can you say no to that face?