The Forever Alien / Aliens Debate

As I mentioned last evening yes I have seen the new Alien movie and yes you will hear my thoughts on it soon enough -- but before we get there I have a question, an utterly impossible question. I cannot answer this question myself, because whenever I try my body litterally splits itself in half and my innnards and skin sacks flop to the floor, halved. Nobody wants that. So I ask you people out there in the great beyond...

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I'm no great fan of Ridley Scott nowadays, but I concede that he earned his rep as a master filmmaker once upon a time with his first few films and Alien is I think his crown jewel -- it's a perfect horror film with the series' greatest cast of characters. That said James Cameron's sequel is every inch as good to my eye, just scratching a very different kick-ass action movie itch. Anyway these two movies and the Giger-fueled nightmare worlds they built are the reason why this franchise will always rank among my favorites, and I am entirely incapacitated when asked to choose. So I am making you choose. And feel free to make your case in the comments.

People who defend Ridley Scott as still being a good filmmaker are... just not right

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) August 14, 2024

On a related note I re-watched Prometheus and half of Alien: Covenant last night and lord what slop they are. Beautiful looking slop, but good grief Ridley can't string together a coherent experience anymore. I do love staring at the utterly gorgeous cast of Prometheus though, and the scene where the snake thing kills Rafe Spall & Sean Harris is absolutely top tier horror.

10 off My Head: Dunk Me To Hell

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Earlier this morning I made mention of my current Channel Zero obsession. If you're unfamiliar (and you might be given how under the radar this show's been even for me, a horror nut) it's a season-long anthology series on SyFy that's currently on its fourth. So far I've watched the first season (an incredibly strong run of six episodes subtitled Candle Cove and starring Paul Schneider & Fiona Shaw) and I'm a little over halfway through the fourth, having skipped the middle ones, which I'll spin back to next. 

Anyway in the fourth episode of this fourth season, which I just watched last night, there is a weird and scary scene that happens in a high school swimming pool, and as I watched it unfurl a sudden laundry list of "Horror Movie Swimming Pools" popped into my head. They're very much a thing! So why not list some of my faves? Why not, indeed.

10 of the Scariest Swimming Pools in the Movies

Let the Right One In (2007)

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Poltergeist III (1988)

It Follows (2014)

The Fan (1981) (see more here)

The Final Destination (see more here)

The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)

High-Rise (see more here)

Shivers (1975)

Cat People (1942)

The Devil's Backbone (2001)

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There are of course tons more....

So what are some of your faves?

Pics of the Day

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Ummm, could Sigourney Weaver look any more incredible??? #aliens #alienday #sigourneyweaver

A photo posted by Jason Adams (@jasonaadams) on Apr 26, 2016 at 8:20pm PDT

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As promised slash mentioned here yesterday I posted that picture on Instagram last evening from the Aliens screening at The Town Hall here in New York, where we celebrated "Alien Day" in the presence of greatness, Sigoruney Weaver herself. She came out and introduced the film and then she stayed and watched it with us (!!!!) and afterwards did a Q&A.

It was epic, you guys. First off it was a blast to watch the movie with an uber-appreciative audience (we basically tore the roof off the place when Ripley says, "Get away from her, you bitch.") Plus the girl sitting beside me had never seen the film before and was SO into it, TOTALLY freaked out and jumping in her seat, and that was a delight. I mean I've seen the movie dozens of times and I was still jumping in my seat. I don't think I'd ever seen the film on the big screen before though and good god does it look great.

The Q&A itself, while being run by the moderator, was great - Siggy clearly cherishes the role of Ripley like no other, and is about as proud of the film as she oughta be. (Which is very very very much.) She said she hadn't sat and watched the entire movie in awhile and when she spoke about the memories it stirred up, how much she loved working with all those actors, it seemed deeply heartfelt. (She seemed to particularly love Michael Biehn, as any sane person would, and Lance Henriksen.)

And her admiration for James Cameron is clearly stratospheric -- she told an amusing anecdote about how none of the London-based crew knew who the hell he was and he kept trying to get them to watch Terminator (which hadn't come out in the UK yet) but they wouldn't, and he kept getting no respect. Until they saw what a pro he was. And she seems giddy with their long-lasting working relationship.

Likewise she couldn't have been more excited about Neill Blomkamp -- she totally hilariously side-eyed Ridley Scott's Prometheus 2 film, which has infamously delayed her return to the character of Ripley for a fifth Alien movie with Neill, which she clearly very very very much wants to get to. She also said she's just finished working on a small role in something with Neill which she cannot talk about but which she's very enthusiastic. Seeing as how he's got nothing lined up besides that Alien sequel this is a big question mark!

So all of that section of the Q&A was terrific, but once the questions were turned over to the audience it became a real shit-show. Here are two of the actual questions that were asked last night, I am not making these up at all:

"If there was an Aliens / Star Wars / Star Trek 

crossover movie, would you cameo in it?"

"Why wasn't there an alien in Ghostbusters?"
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I mean seriously, people? You've got Sigourney Weaver standing in front of you and this is the nerd barf you expel onto her? Good grief.  She handled it with the professionalism of someone who's clearly been trapped in rooms full of geeks many, many times, with good humor and grace and I hope that Hillary Clinton is paying attention because we've clearly got our Vice Presidential candidate right here.

I Like To Keep This Handy For Close Encounters

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I'm not sure whether to buy this news as the original source has poofed itself right out of existence but since in the never-ending game of telephone that is "Breaking News!" on the internet it took me several links to find the original source no longer exists I doubt it'll stop most places from reporting it (and anyway, it allows me to post Shirtless Michael Biehn Pictures, so who cares, we all win no matter what), here goes -- supposedly Michael Biehn said on Instagram that he won't be able to go to a UK Comic-Con because he's gonna be way too busy shooting Neill Blomkamp's Alien movie. His Instagram no longer exists, but supposedly it did, as of recently, and he said that. 

I hope it is all true! Biehn's character Hicks, who (ancient-spoiler-alert) was killed at the start of the third movie much to everybody's chagrin, was featured in the art-work that Blomkamp posted that got him the directing gig, so everybody is wondering if (and you know, HOW) that might happen. But Biehn's terrific, it'd be lovely to see him reprise the role.

13 Phones of Halloween #7

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Hey kids, remember these things? They were called phone books, and we used to have to flip through them to find the phone number of the person we wanted to reach. People like...

Sarah Connor.

Oh wait not that Sarah Connor, whoops!

This Sarah Connor.

Everybody's looking for her.

This naked guy is looking for her.

This naked guy is looking for her.

If it didn't involve so much violence and horror and honest-to-goodness Armageddon this would be a seriously erotic situation that Sarah Connor finds herself in. Many a porn film's been founded upon the same plot!

Anyway it being 1984 and all, clearly the Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Kyle Reese (mmm Michael Biehn) were both educated in the ways of phone-bookery by somebody back in their future place of 2029 (where we now know phone-books will be forgotten) because that's where they both immediately head (well after finding clothes, unfortunately) to find our Sarah.

Although you'd think that the folks at Skynet would've programmed their Arnold Robot a little bit better, so it would know which damn Sarah Connor to pick off. Clearly the rebels that Reese belongs to had better information (I suppose they would since they're run by - SPOILER - her baby!!!). But it's the robot killing the first two Sarah Connors that alerts our Sarah to the danger she's in...

... and because she's kick ass, even in this here first movie without all the muscles she gains for the sequel, it sets her on her path to... well, I guess I can't say "safety," after all the shit she has to go through, but "not death." Her path to Not Death. That works.

Tomorrow James Cameron's flick turns 30!

Future Savior Sexy Father

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Even though I've never seen the actor Wilson Bethel in anything it seems pretty clear to me that looks-wise he was born to play a Michael Biehn part. Look at them! They could be related!

Bethel is one of five names up for Biehn's role of Kyle Reese in the new Terminator movie - for a hot minute there was talk of Garrett Hedlund but I guess he passed. Instead they're aiming for a smaller name now...

... small in name, but big in pretty obviously. Those dudes are from left to right Boyd Holbrook, Thomas Cocquerel, Sam Reid, and Jai Courtney. Holbrook you might remember as the dude with the porn-stache who shows up to replace Matt Damon in Liberace's bathtub affections in Behind the Candelabra...

His name's actually been rumored as long as Hedlund was. Cocquerel hasn't been in anything really, but he's very attractive. I wonder how he got his name up in here?

Meanwhile Reid is one fine-ass ginger that I remember noticing in Anonymous, before I turned Anonymous off halfway through because it was an unwatchable, awful movie.

And Courtney's been bouncing around by the strength of his fabulous T&A from terrible movie to terrible movie for a bit now. We've ogled him previously. Here is his sex face in that pervy Spartacus show.

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poll by twiigs.com

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The People Under The Stairs

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I know that I've seen director Xavier Gens' much touted by horror fans 2007 movie Frontier(s) (which is usually named alongside Martyrs, Haute Tension and Inside as one of the cornerstones of the French Horror Wave of the Aughts), but I'll be damned if I remember much about it, save a vague feeling of dissatisfaction. It didn't live up to its reputation, from what I recall - it's no Martyrs then, that's for sure. Gens' follow-up to that was the "Bald Timothy Olyphant" vehicle Hitman, which I reviewed in twelve perfect words - I stand by that today. 

So I went into his latest, the post-apocalyptic basement fever flick The Divide with only moderate to low expectations. He's a slick image-maker - his films always look good. And he isn't one to hold back - he will get harsh up in it. But they don't entirely connect. Sadly The Divide continues that tradition. The main problem is one of location - these characters don't ever seem to inhabit the real world. There's not enough sense of place - they're supposed to be a bunch of New Yorkers who have raced into their basement shelter as the city's nuked around them, but I'll be damned if anybody feels like they inhabit the same space.

Hell half the time I'll be damned if they seem to inhabit the same movie. On one side you've got Michael Biehn chomping his cigar like he wandered out of a WWII flick and on the other you've got Milo Ventimiglia and Michael Eklund morphing into sexy sideshow snake-people - it starts to feel as if Lauren German becomes the main character just because she can deliver a line without shrieking. (Although to be fair to the others, she does so by making her character nearly as dull as dishwater, at least until the final few minutes.)

Atmospheric whiplash aside, there is stuff that works. Like I said, Gens isn't afraid to "go there," and things do get disturbing in the second half in an almost Grand Guignol kinda way, if Grand Guignol meant something slightly rape-ier. It might have hit home harder if you bought the characters a little more, though - Roseanna Arquette comes the closest, I think, to taking the script's broad outlines and filling in the details... and she has the most miserable arc of all, so that's fun.
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Which Is Hotter?

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poll by twiigs.com

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Consider this leftovers from the passionate lovemaking me made with Michael Biehn last week - this time in honor of director James Cameron's 58th birthday today, who of course gave us the two above treats. Since the films are only two years apart that means Biehn's essentially physically identical in both roles and you should base your pick on weightier factors, like if its the sensitive everyman heroically battle-scarred future-man qualities he displayed in The Terminator that get you hot and bothered, or if it's the... sensitive everyman heroically battle-scarred future-man qualities he displayed in Aliens that do it. Uh... anyway. You must choose!

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Thursday's Ways Not To Die

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The Fan (1981)

The coming together of Michael Biehn's birthday earlier this week with my current focus on water-sports (minds out of the gutter!) thanks to the ongoing Olympics brought about this perfect moment for some Fan love. Who doesn't love The Fan? To know The Fan is to love The Fan, that's what I always say.

How amazing is that shot, for one thing? If I were doing this movie for The Film Experience's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" series I don't think I'd be able to find anything as great as that one. The way the flow of benches erupts into disarray once it comes upon Beihn's deranged character of Douglas Breen. He throws everything out of whack.

Up to and especially that great star that he's stalking and killing everybody around in order to get closer to, Sally Ross, played by an "I'm already too old for this shit" Lauren Bacall. But even though Bacall's character technically takes up about 85% of this movie, she's not its star for me. It's all about Biehn.

Y'all know I love a good "Queer Creep" movie after all. What's that, I didn't mention Douglas Breen's a big ol' repressed 'mo? Oh I'd say this next scene where he picks up a guy in a bar spells that out pretty succinctly.

Hit the jump for the rest,
including bonus killing and gay sex - it's got it all!