Hot Jock Ahoy

Just a heads-up (i.e. an excuse to post the above gif) that it was just announced that the 1999 film Varsity Blues will soon be hitting 4K blu-ray! By no means a masterpiece it was nevertheless a foundational text for most homosexuals I know thanks to Scott Caan's, uhh, "performance." Anyway I will make sure to keep my eyes on more information and keep you all informed of this very important development.

SCOTT CAAN IN 4K INCOMING Y'ALL https://t.co/YYSet2eVuY pic.twitter.com/c81qikzzm3

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) October 11, 2023

Good Morning, World

Well there's somebody we haven't had the opportunity to ogle in awhile -- hey, Scott Caan in tighty-whities! This is from some new movie called One Day as a Lion which has Scott starring opposite JK Simmons and Frank Grillo and Virginia Madsen, and which is available to rent on Amazon and other such sordid streaming locations. These photos being the literal first I have heard of the movie doesn't make me think it's the next Citizen Kane, but that's a decent cast it's got itself so it might have something to recommend besides Scott Caan in tighty-whities. Scott Caan in tighty-whities ain't so bad though!

Who Wore It Best?

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bike tracks

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No you're not crazy -- if you've been around here for awhile you know that I did this poll once before back in 2011. But the poll service I used then has gone kaput, so let's ask again here on what is apparently National Hat Day. Not like there's a bad time for...

Which is Hotter?

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I was just tweeting my annual birthday wishes to Scott Caan's butt when I noticed, somehow for the first time, that Scott's Spectacular Butt shares a birthday with one of the Greatest Cinematic Butts of All Time - Gene Kelly's! And since there's nothing (literally nothing) I love more than a Butt-Off...

online polls

Good Morning, World

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A happy 40th birthday to Mr. Scott Caan today - he might not be winning any acting awards any time soon but I doubt he's crying into the piles o' bucks he's been raking in on Hawaii Five-O for however long that thing's been on, and he'll always have his place in the Ass Hall of Fame for that scene in  Varsity Blues. (And that other movie where he showed his butt, too.) Legend!

Good Morning, Gratuitous Daniel Dae Kim

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Daniel Dae Kim was always fairly shy when he was on Lost, at least as far as it went with showing off that physique of his, so I was surprised when I found out he's been flashing his junk (not literally, sad face) left right and center on Hawaii Five-O. Yes, it is true, that show is still on. I know. It's CBS, man. They gotta fill their slots with something. And scenes of Daniel, Scott Caan, and Alex O'Loughlin coming in and out of the surf...

... that'll do it. 

Hit the jump for whole bunch more...

The Bettys & Baldwins Of Tomorrow

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Have you guys heard about Beyond Clueless? It's a documentary - well as my date for the screening held in Brooklyn last week Glenn Dunks said, calling a documentary's not exactly right... it's more of a video-essay - about the tickles and tropes of Teen Movies post-Amy Heckerling's 1995 classic. Basically filmmaker Charlie Lyne edited together clips from about 200 films, ranging from Bring It On to Final Destination to The Craft to 10 Things I Hate About You, and on and on and on and on, and shows the way the genre evolved, devolved, and often spun its wheels over the exact same material time and time and time again. (The bit that got me was the montage of Swimming Pool Scenes -- they really do all have some kind of a Swimming Pool Scene!)

It's sort of an impossible film to review - if you're of the right age, you'll dig it. It maybe runs a little long? Anyway I'm not actually going to attempt to review it anyway (anyway!) - no, what I am here for is a thought that struck me while watching the movie as the parade of people I haven't thought of in years - Rachael Leigh Cook! Claire Forlani! Devon Sawa! (Okay not specifically Devon Sawa because I think of Final Destination all the time, but you get my point) - paraded by. 

Some of the movies featured are less than a decade removed and yet I'd completely forgotten they and their stars were ever even a thing. (Um again, hi Claire Forlani.) But there's a deep well of actors represented by these projects (you can see a lot of titles here) and being reintroduced to them all I could think about was -- some of these people are due for a comeback. More than a comeback, even -- somebody from the past is always getting snatched up and used in a surprising way and we all go, "Oh my god, look at them! Who knew?" Where was Neil Patrick Harris between Doogie and Harold & Kumar? Who's got a Pulp Fiction resurrection in them? Will Alicia Silverstone win an Oscar one day?

This is a bit of a cheat because she's already well on her road to Comeback status but my pick is Natasha Lyonne. She had a rough rough road for awhile there but she was great then and she's great now - in fact she's clearly channeling some of that rough road into her performance on Orange is the New Black and honestly I could see her being thought of strictly as a serious and accomplished actress one day who yes once upon a time co-starred in several American Pie movies. Speaking of...

... she's not the only American Pie gal on the comeback trail!

In all seriousness though, who do you think could 

forge their way back from Teen Movie Oblivion 

and be a newly crowned Star of Tomorrow?

Nick Jonas Movie Star

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You probably already knew that Nick Jonas tossed his two brothers into the trash-can so he could dive head-first into becoming a movie star - well now we've got the teaser trailer (via) for his first effort, something called Careful What You Wish For. It looks (as expected) completely ridiculous, but also (as expected) smart enough to get Nick out of his clothes.

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Nick will also be guest-starring on Hawaii Five-O sometime soon (oh please don't make me look up when) a fact the show chose to illuminate by releasing pictures of him without a shirt on. Do you think he shared a trailer with Scott Caan? I bet Scott insisted.

Good Morning, World

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Aww doesn't Scott Caan look peaceful when he's sleeping? Wait what's that you don't give a shit about him above the neck (or waist for that matter)? Okay then. Happy 36, Scott Caan's Ass!

Scott Caan Three Times

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Good Morning, World

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poll by twiigs.com

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Inspired by this shot of Scott on the set of Hawaii 5-O
showing off his best attribute:

Good Morning, World

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Why was Alex O'Loughlin touching himself on Hawaii Five-O?
He was remembering Scott Caan in Varsity Blues, right?

Awkward...

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Good Morning, World

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Scott Caan turns 35 today, and here are some pictures of him in his underpants in some movie called The Dog Problem. I think that dog is giving him a problem!

Anyway how gross is the first sentence of his his IMDb biography? Listen to this:

"Muscular, swaggering and tough, Scott Caan gives every indication of becoming a "man's-man" like his father, legendary actor James Caan. While it is obvious that he admires tough method actors like Marlon Brando and Sean Penn, James Caan's eldest son also has a strong egalitarian streak, evidenced by his reasoning for baring his body in the film Varsity Blues (1999). He is quoted as saying that originally only the women in the scene were to be nude, but that he felt it really sexist, so he stripped too."

I'm obviously not going to complain about the second half there, because we appreciate that and we've been appreciating that scene for twelve years now. But as with everything Scott Caan touches the Napoleon complex is just so thick and pungent (musky, you might say) you could choke. Muscular, swaggering and tough! A man's man! Yeah I've heard that about him, how he's a real man's man, like I'm a man's man...

I Am Link

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--- Poof There He Is - STYD has got a look at David Tennant in his role of the Vegas-ish magician in the Fright Night remake. Dare I say it's sort of... sexy? In a really weird way? Oh I am ashamed. I just get blinded by chest fur every time. Anyway Colin and Toni aside this movie is gonna be awful, I think.

--- Natural Selection - Paranormal Activity director Oren Peli's follow-up film, the alien-themed Area 51, hasn't even come out yet but he's lining up what he'll do next. It is "the tale of friends who discover they are not alone after they become stranded in a ghost town overrun by nature." Whatever the eff that means.

--- How Many Makers - I love this listicle at The Film Experience on the working habits of the many directors we love. Would that nearly every single name on the list work more. I don't care. I want it all!

--- Multi-Fassy-ed - io9 dissects a new TV bite-sized trailer for X-Men Muppet Babies that's got a bunch of new moments in it, including a suspicious one involving Michael Fassbenders. That "s" is meant to be there.

--- People Pets - I apparently spaced on posting this news earlier this week so here it is briefly, which doesn't mesh with how epic the news is but whatever, it's been two days and the world's moved on already! Darren Aronofsky and George Clooney are perhaps probably maybe teaming up for a sci-fi movie about a man who wakes up from his cryogenic slumber to find that the human race has been turned into pets for another species. Seems like people are actually tackling harder-edged old-fashioned sci-fi themes these days, doesn't it? I like it.

--- And speaking of Clooney, here's the first clip of him in Alexander Payne's much-waited-for new movie The Descendants. (via) I haven't watched it yet so y'all tell me what's up.

--- Sally Boy - James Franco has cast his Sal Mineo for that biopic he's apparently making - his name's Val Lauren, and he's mostly done TV work so far, although his IMDb bio says he's done a lot of "play originals" with Scott Caan. Mmhmm. I've heard that about Scott. Anyway that's him to the left there and I guess he could look the part, with some effort. If we're looking at later-years Sal, that is.

--- Queen of the Knight - Marion Cotillard says that her part in The Dark Knight Rises is very small and non-challenging for a lady who will be tremendously pregnant when it comes time for her to film.

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Who Wore It Best?

Nether-smuggling Stetsons?

Woody Harrelson in The Cowboy Way,
or Scott Caan in Varsity Blues?
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poll by twiigs.com

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Happy 34, Scott Caan

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Pretty, Dumb

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If we have to be subjected to non-stop coverage of Jessica Alba's flesh, then I'm gonna do my part of exploit her Into the Blue co-stars, Paul Walker and Scott Caan, to the fullest of abilities, too.


These are from JJ.
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