Harrison Ford, Behave

How dare he.

Presumed Miserable

A second photo of Jake Gyllenhaal in his forthcoming Apple+ series adaptation of Presumed Innocent has been floating around -- here is the first one which I shared a week ago. And now there's a second. Perhaps one day we will have a third, and then a fourth, and then we can create a flipbook and watch the entire show that way. Anyway the somberness of this photo appeals to my mood right now which is why I'm sharing it -- I'm in one hell of a shitty mood-spiral today and just willing the day to end. Lead me away, officers, I need a small cell and silence please.

Pics of the Day

It's been over a year since I last posted about Jake Gyllenhaal's first foray into television, a re-do of the Harrison Ford legal thriller Presumed Innocent (based on Scott Turow's book) for Apple and they just dropped the first official image -- Jake dapper in three-piece suits, I am here for it. The series is spearheaded by JJ Abrams and David E. Kelley so no slouch in the showrunner department -- also it co-stars Ruth Negga and Renate Reinsve and Lily Rabe and Jake's bro-in-law Peter Sarsgaard (sidenote: is there any modern actor more built for legal thriller than Pete? He just seems perfect for them) so it's got a lot going for it. No word on a release date yet, this was just a glimpse of Apple's 2024 slate. And it also included our first official look at Colin Farrell in Sugar (below), about which we know next-to-nothing exscept he plays a private detective, which is kinda obvious from the photo. Men in suits!

Today's Fanboy Delusion

 Today I'd rather be...

... Harrison Ford's whipping boy.

Coincidentally just after I posted this it was announced that Harrison is receiving the Career Achievement Award at this weekend's Critics Choice Awards -- I'm now a voting member of the CCA so I must announce such things! Obviously the man has earned all the honors, and not just for how he commands that whip -- I'm even sadder I won't be there at the awards this weekend now! But as I stated previously I had to choose between that and Sundance and this year it was Sundance. (Speaking of I suppose this is a good changce for me to point out I'll be in Utah starting a week from Thursday so you should expect it to be quiet in here for about a week or so then.) Anyway hit the jump for the CCA press release on Mr. Ford...

Three Thumbs Up: Ridley Scott

Well I haven't done one of these, my most backhanded of complimentary posts, in awhile! Indeed it's been so long that my old computer crashed and took with it the little thumb art that I made to go along with these posts but I think we can all agree that my rudimentary photoshoppery will not be missed. Anyway my "Three Thumbs Up" series is where I force myself to choose three things I like from an actor or a director or a whatever that I'm not especially a fan of. And today's lucky person is the fella I consider wildly overrated named Ridley Scott...

If only Ridley Scott’s movies were as good as his interviews

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) November 19, 2023

... who is turning 86 today and who has another messy slop-heap of a movie in theaters right now called Napoleon. Funny enough my last edition of this series was for Ben Affleck and one my choices was his role in Ridley's film The Last Duel -- a movie I genuinely loathe, except for Ben's performance. Funny -- right, Ridley? Hardy har. Anyway Ridley has some genuine masterpieces under his belt! I don't deny that! I just happen to think those happened many many decades ago and almost everything he's dropped since then has been stylish unfocused flim-flam. That said it's not like we're talking about someone deeply untalented. He remains an incredible crafter of images and atmosphere. I'm just of the mind that he's weirdly incapable of taking anything across the finish line anymore. His scripts are often to blame, but one gets the sense that he's chasing too many thoughts down too many tangents and (even worse) by the time the process is nearing completion he's just lost interest. (Fingers crossed he does right by Paul Mecsal in his Gladiator sequel.)

That said there are three movies he's made that I think

are genuine masterpieces. So let's focus on the good!

1. Alien

2. Blade Runner

3. Thelma and Louise

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Runners-up: Legend has its moments (i.,e. Tim Curry), as does the homoerotica of White Squall, and I like Prometheus more than most people even while I need to specifiy that I dig it as fun trash, full stop. And I genuinely loved The Counselor, as I think it was a truly madly deeply psychotic story that benefitted from Ridley's kitchen-sink approach, but I haven't re-watched it since it came out. And I have heard that the longer cut is even better, but then that's become the drum-beat with Ridley -- "Watch the director's cut, it's better!" But that's certainly not true about Blade Runner, and I still find Kingdom of Heaven a big honking snooze however he cuts it. 

Let's hear your thoughts on Sir Ridley in the comments!

Back To Boyd

Lots of Boyd Holbrook popping up this week unexpectedly -- I re-watched both Gone Girl and Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny over the past two nights (I'd totally forgotten he was in Gone Girl at all) -- and along with the fact that it's his birthday tomorrow, well why not let him have tops-of-the-blog honors before I head off for a long weekend? And somehow these two vintage photos of Boyd from his pre-acting modeling days didn't make it into the enormous gratuitous post I did of him back in 2015. (I go back to that post so often -- it soothes me.) Anyway yup, it's a four day weekend. I am off until Tuesday and there are zero movies out this weekend worth talking about so I got nothing to recommend. I'm going to spend it catching up on the quite terrifyingly large piles of blu-rays I have been buying, and going to see a couple of movies at the "Bigger & Louder" series at the Paris here in NYC, which just revamped their system. I am seeing Playtime in 70mm tomorrow, holy shit! Anyway this weekend is just the quiet before the storm of fall movie releases -- NYFF will be swallowing me up by the end of September -- so I'm going to enjoy this breath whilst I can take it. Y'all have a good one and see you in September! (And as always if you see something good, say something in the comments.)

Wookie Wookie Wook-Ahhh!

Have you ever seen the notorious disaster, the Star Wars Holiday Special? George Lucas doesn't make it easy -- you have to be a hacker like the little girl in Jurassic Park in order to get your greedy paws upon it -- but it's possible. I personally had only seen clips -- mostly because I didn't care that much, as Star Wars has only been a thing I've liked fine enough but never been in love with. But I finally sat down and watched it start to finish last week after watching the doc A Disturbance in the Force: How the Star Wars Holiday Special Happened, which is about... well, the title says what it is about. Anyway that doc screened at the Fantasia Film Fest and I reviewed it right here for Mashable. And then I sat down and watched the Holiday Special and... wow. It's indeed a lot. But unlike half of the Star Wars things I have seen, my life felt noticeably richer for having experienced it. Bea Arthur sings with a rat-puppet from Food of the Gods, y'all! Just knowing that makes me stand taller.

Good Morning, World

What better way to celebrate another spin round the sun with our favorite whip-snapping wise-cracking archeologist-cum-space-jockey than by posting for probably the ten thousandth time this photo of him rocking some blue jockeys that leave very little inner space to the imagination? I can remember  the first time I saw these photos of Harrison -- and here's a post that gathers up the best of them -- and how surprised I was, given he's only ever been 90% naked on-screen  one time in one movie (here in Frantic) I truly expected more staid bathing attire from the man. But then I have never been able to decide if this photo specifically is a speedo or a pair of underwear?

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Whatever the case -- he posed for the picture, no matter how irritable his demeanor. That's why we love the irascible dude! Anyway a happy 81 to him today -- we can also celebrate by clicking here to read my review of the latest Indiana Jones movie (which is fine, so better than I anticipated) or by clicking here to read my thorough treatise upon why his hottest on-screen set of minutes, in his long estimable career, were the ones where he went evil in Temple of Doom. I am a very serious person with very serious things to say!

Nobody Puts Madsy in the Corner

Well it's that time! What time? Time for me to head off to places unknown (read: my couch) for five straight days. It's a holiday weekend here in the U.S. and I'm off until next Wednesday. I put in the work this past week though -- I reviewed the new Indiana Jones (here), I reviewed the new Jennifer Lawrence (here), I reviewed the new Rock Hudson bio-pic (here), I reviewed the new Wes Anderson (here), and I reviewed a forthcoming Jude Law (here). Oh and I answered the question of which role of Harrison Ford's was the hottest right here. PLUS I have a big piece that has not been not published yet which I will update the site with a link to over the break. That's a lotta goddamned writing y'all and I ready for that goddamned couch.

But like I did just say -- I will be updating the site a little bit over the break; not just that coming piece (heh I said "coming piece") but there's our annual July 4th ridiculousness as well, which will land on (you guessed it) July 4th. So come back and visit over the break for these and perhaps other surprises! Or per usual keep your eyes on my social media accounts -- it's not like I'll be off of those for longer than five seconds. Have a happy 4th, y'all! And even more importantly -- Happy 11 to Magic Mike!

So What's Your Destiny

Let it be known that I went into Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny with exceedingly low expectations -- the second that James Mangold was announced as director all my hopes melted away like that one Nazi's face at the end of Raiders. I found Logan vastly overrated and was nearly bored to literal death by Ford v Ferrari, and so I figured this was gonna be a disaster. And yet here we are -- I actually thought Dial of Destiny was pretty fun! Click here to read my review at Pajiba where I get into it. It's got some issues but it's better than Kingdom of the Crystal Skull -- Ford is wonderful (of course he was) and I love love loved Phoebe Waller-Bridge in it. I also loved the go-for-broke ending, and there's a really weird scene where Antonio Banderas shows up with a boat full of shirtless muscle-bound sailor-men that is totally gratuitous aka made for me. And made for any of you reading this, I'd wager! PS in related news if you missed it earlier today I ranked Harrison Ford's hotness at Mashable, which you might also appreciate. 

The Hottest Harrison Ford of All

This is a subject I have broached here at MNPP before, but with the new Indiana Jones movie out in theaters this weekend (more on that soon) I was gifted the chance to take this mighty important conversation onto a larger platform -- click over to Mashable to read my investigation on "What was Harrison Ford his hottest?" Very important stuff y'all!

We Named the Dog Indiana

Okay baby -- tonight's Indy 5 night! Spin that dastardly Dial of Destiny because this is really happening. Whatever the hell a "dial of destiny" is. I guess I will know tonight. And I'm not sure if I am excited, terrified, indifferent -- we'll see what the movie delivers and decide then. Which is the way it should be, I suppose -- I just wish I could go in anticipating more. I tried to re-watch Kingdom of the Crystal Skull a few weeks ago and, uhh, didn't make it too far. I think I have tried to re-watch that movie like four times since its release and I never make it all the way through? I definitely haven't seen the ending with the spinning alien nonsense since the first watch, even though that shit's burned into my brain. And not in a good way. Anyway stay tuned for my opinion next week, I will be reviewing this one. I'll be off for the rest of the week for Tribeca stuff -- more reviews will be appearing soon enough! Until then have a good weekend...

Presumed Negga

Looks like the next project happening for Jake Gyllenhaal (after the esteemed Road House remake, of course) will definitely be his Apple+ series adaptation of Presumed Innocent, which was announced last month and which is quick getting a cast -- namely his co-star, one queen of screens big and small a certain Ruth Negga! We're massive fans of Ruth here at MNPP and have been since her acidic-sweet turn as Tulip on Preacher or thereabouts? That was 2016, the same year as Loving, showcasing her range -- cut to her astonishing turn in Rebecca Hall's Passing in 2021 and we'll follow her anywhere, any time. I mean clearly we were watching The Jake Gyllenhaal Show, but this adds a million plusses. Negga is playing Jake's wife, whose life gets upended when he's accused of murdering his mistress -- I haven't seen the Harrison Ford movie in decades. I guess I should revisit? I mean it's not like asking me to stare at 1990 Harrison is a big ask. 

Presumed Gyllenhaal

I suppose it was only a matter of time before the hungry hungry content machine got its teeth hooked into Jake Gyllenhaal's hide, and here we are -- Deadline's reported (thx Mac) that he's signed up to star in an Apple series adaptation of Presumed Innocent, Scott Turow's 1987 legal thriller book that was turned into a Harrison Ford movie back in 1990. Because a two hour movie is not enough anymore -- now the same story must be six hour-long episodes! Anyway the people adapting this time are big, as is only fitting to bring our beloved Jack Twist and Donnie Darko down to the small screen --  JJ Abrams and David E. Kelley, specifically. I never read the book and I probably saw the movie back in the 90s on video but I remember nothing about it, so here's how they describe the plot:

"It tells the story of a horrific murder that upends the Chicago Prosecuting Attorneys’ office when one of its own is suspected of the crime... Gyllenhaal will play Rusty Sabich, the fervent prosecutor suspected of killing a close colleague when the evidence begins to point to him... As reimagined by Kelley, who is an attorney by trade, Presumed Innocent the TV series will be exploring obsession, sex, politics, and the power and limits of love, as the accused fights to hold his family and marriage together."

Well sex sounds good, at least. Let's get Jake into some Skinemax shit. Anyway I don't mean to sound skeptical, I look forward to this and hope it's good, and six hour-long episodes of Jake doing anything is fine by me. 

Which is Hotter?

Although they're still withholding the title of the film from us (boo!) Empire magazine has the first information on the fifth Indiana Jones movie -- the first that wasn't directed by Steven Spielberg it should be noted, which gives me pause, especially since I'm no fan of director James Mangold. But I suppose there's plenty of time before it's out next June, and the movie does have an absolutely stacked and killer cast -- Antonio Banderas, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Toby Jones, Thomas Kretschmann, and the villainous two-some of Mads Mikkelsen and Boyd Holbrook, the latter of whom describes his character as, "a lapdog to Mads, and a crazy one at that." Now raise your hand if you wanna see Mads and Boyd dom-sub it up hardcore! Which brings me to my main question...

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Good Morning, World

Shh keep it down -- Harrison Ford is sleeping in for his 80th birthday today. And I'm just gonna climb in and join him. Come back later!

Mads Mikkelsen Thirty-Two Times

I didn't pay a lot of attention to that first photo from the fifth Indiana Jones movie that dropped this week because 1) it's a fucking silhouette, let's not cream our jeans over a silhouette. But also as stated when the news broke I'm not a fan of director James Mangold and if somebody's going to take the reins from Steven f'ing Spielberg I'd rather it be somebody I'm a fan of, ya know? Anyway I only just remembered now with this new photoshoot in Esquire (via) of Mads Mikkelsen that Mads is in the movie, probably as the villain because come on he's Mads. And that makes me more excited. Not that Cate Blanchett could save the fourth movie. Anyway there was other Mads news this week to share -- he's making a sequel to his Netflix movie Polar (and I still haven't seen that first one) and he's reuniting with his Royal Affair director Nikolaj Arcel to make a Danish Western set in the 18th century (thx Mac). Sure why not. As long as all of this work doesn't interfere with my plans to fund a fourth season of Hannibal by whoring myself out to anybody willing to pay. And I'm cheap, fellas! Hit the jump for this whole shoot...

They Got Their German

Oh happy day, I haven't had an excuse to post about Thomas Kretschmann in quite some time! I did think of him a few weeks ago when WandaVision was on, since the character he plays in the MCU (that would be "Baron Wolfgang von Strucker" which somehow is a name I was just able to pull out of thin air, wtf) was tied up with the Romanov twins. But he never showed on that show, even though that would have made sense in the flashbacks...

... so today's news is the first news of a real gig regarding him to cross my path since his one-episode stint on Westworld. (I didn't watch the Penny Dreadful spin-off he was on because fuck that Eva-Green-less bullshit.) To finally make it to the point -- Kretschmann has just been cast in an "undisclosed role" in the fifth Indiana Jones movie! Yes I am sure we have no idea what this German actor will be playing in the big new Indiana Jones movie...

The World's Gone Mads

You have probably already read this by now but in case you get all of your news from this here website... oh my god, don't. Don't do that. I can only imagine. Picture it, it's like The Truman Show, only with a child raised from birth to death with MNPP as their source of information. That'd be a horny, dumb baby, my god. Anyway! Mads! He just got cast in the fifth Indiana Jones movie. No word of course on his role, but everybody's naturally assuming he'll be the villain because, you know, his face and his entire career or whatever. But I think we could possibly be jumping to conclusions. Maybe they will surprise us. But if he is the villain I don't see any reason to be annoyed about it -- being a villain has bought Mads a lot of expensive haircuts over the years. (His hair always looks so expensive, doesn't it?) Really I'm just hoping he uses his star-power to force a fourth season of Hannibal into production. Do whatever ya gotta do, Mr. Mikkelsen!

Mads Mikkelsen is part of the Star Wars, Marvel, James Bond, Harry Potter, and Indiana Jones universes now. He is Hannibal Lecter, he's fought the Musketeers, and he's clashed with the f'ing Titans. ALL HAIL KING MADS pic.twitter.com/uFPTIpJQRE

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) April 15, 2021

The Temple of Phoebe

Today's all about good vibes going out to women we adore, it seems -- I just wished Kristen Stewart (here) and Elle Fanning (here) happy birthdays on Twitter, and now comes word that the great Phoebe Waller-Bridge has just landed the biggest role of her career (yes, bigger than writing the new Bond script): she's going to play the female lead in the fifth Indiana Jones movie. Will this movie be better than the last one? I don't know. Harrison Ford's back of course but Steven Spielberg isn't directing -- it's James Mangold, who, well I know a lot of you are but I'm not at all a fan of. But honestly whether the movie's "good" or not doesn't matter at this point, because even the shittier shit elements become iconic -- "nuke the fridge" anybody? I even consider Cate's Evil Russian Bob iconic...

... and no, I will not be taking questions. Anyway time-wise this one will be in the 1960s won't it? Will they go to Cuba? Hiring Phoebe makes me think the series will go right at the James Bond thing head-on -- ye olde archeologist Indiana being a relic of the past, with "Super Spies" being the hip cool cats of the mod future. God I've half written this thing already, haven't I?