Wicked Little Taye

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You know, I don't go to see Broadway shows all that often. They're expensive and as I've made clear more than is even necessary at this point I'm not the biggest fan of the musical theater. And yet I've been to see Hedwig and the Angry Inch since it started its new run THREE times. I saw Neil Patrick Harris once and I saw John Cameron Mitchell twice. It just sort of happened. And now comes word that beautiful Taye Diggs is taking over the role next and I'll be damned if I didn't feel a twinge of... oh shit, I'd totally see that. He starts the show on July 22nd once Darren Criss finishes up his run, and he'll be at it for 12 weeks. Oh and since we brought it up...

... we should post some of these, 

since we haven't gotten around to it. 

Can you imagine Taye Diggs stuffing all his business into those itty bitty shorts? I can, and I can, and I can, and it's all I can do, for the foreseeable future.

Balls In Your Court, Hugh Jackman

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Since a couple people have already been here searching 

for these shots of NPH in his tighty-whities 

on last night's Academy Awards, here, enjoy. 

(pics via) I probably said all I'll have to say about the Oscars as I live-tweeted them; head over to Twitter to scan through my semi-drunken ramblings if you dare. My most retweeted tweets all had to do with Channing Tatum, which is no surprise...

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Channing Tatum stop playing with your Lego Oscar in front of everybody pic.twitter.com/Fqw2gruhNo
— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) February 23, 2015

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The Bettys & Baldwins Of Tomorrow

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Have you guys heard about Beyond Clueless? It's a documentary - well as my date for the screening held in Brooklyn last week Glenn Dunks said, calling a documentary's not exactly right... it's more of a video-essay - about the tickles and tropes of Teen Movies post-Amy Heckerling's 1995 classic. Basically filmmaker Charlie Lyne edited together clips from about 200 films, ranging from Bring It On to Final Destination to The Craft to 10 Things I Hate About You, and on and on and on and on, and shows the way the genre evolved, devolved, and often spun its wheels over the exact same material time and time and time again. (The bit that got me was the montage of Swimming Pool Scenes -- they really do all have some kind of a Swimming Pool Scene!)

It's sort of an impossible film to review - if you're of the right age, you'll dig it. It maybe runs a little long? Anyway I'm not actually going to attempt to review it anyway (anyway!) - no, what I am here for is a thought that struck me while watching the movie as the parade of people I haven't thought of in years - Rachael Leigh Cook! Claire Forlani! Devon Sawa! (Okay not specifically Devon Sawa because I think of Final Destination all the time, but you get my point) - paraded by. 

Some of the movies featured are less than a decade removed and yet I'd completely forgotten they and their stars were ever even a thing. (Um again, hi Claire Forlani.) But there's a deep well of actors represented by these projects (you can see a lot of titles here) and being reintroduced to them all I could think about was -- some of these people are due for a comeback. More than a comeback, even -- somebody from the past is always getting snatched up and used in a surprising way and we all go, "Oh my god, look at them! Who knew?" Where was Neil Patrick Harris between Doogie and Harold & Kumar? Who's got a Pulp Fiction resurrection in them? Will Alicia Silverstone win an Oscar one day?

This is a bit of a cheat because she's already well on her road to Comeback status but my pick is Natasha Lyonne. She had a rough rough road for awhile there but she was great then and she's great now - in fact she's clearly channeling some of that rough road into her performance on Orange is the New Black and honestly I could see her being thought of strictly as a serious and accomplished actress one day who yes once upon a time co-starred in several American Pie movies. Speaking of...

... she's not the only American Pie gal on the comeback trail!

In all seriousness though, who do you think could 

forge their way back from Teen Movie Oblivion 

and be a newly crowned Star of Tomorrow?

I Am Link

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--- Damned If Ya Dandy - As we said earlier today whilst celebrating Evan Peters' birthday, the finale of American Horror Story Freak Show airs tomorrow night (let's hope we get just a little more more Dandy Bum for god's sake!) and so thoughts necessarily turn to the setting for the fifth season; don't they usually give some hints where things are going next year towards the end of each season? In this interview with FX's head honcho it sounds like it will be set in modern day, and I believe we already know they're filming it in Santa Fe, so what does that equal? No idea. But they need to pay Finn Wittrock whatever he asks for.

--- Capital Punishment - I'm not even close to being on Team Theater Owners, they have allowed the experience of movie-going to get royally fucked, but it always seemed silly to me to pretend that it was Sony's plan all along to bungle the release of The Interview, for the PR or whatever - that they were clearly going to lose a ton of money releasing it on VOD, no matter how well it did. And I thought the movie was funny when I saw it early, so the thinking that it was going to flop didn't sit with me either. Anyway Theater Owners are doubling-down on the VOD route having been a disaster for Sony and while I'm loathe to agree with them I do think they clearly, obviously lost money.

--- Good Jobs - So Danny Boyle started shooting his Steve Jobs movie over the weekend in Jobs' actual hometown outside of San Francisco, and Slash shares a sorta humorous local news-crew's story on the shoot - you can't see anybody of import, no Michael Fassbender, no Kate Winslet, but the news-anchor says she has no idea who Michael Fassbender is! Somebody spam her work-email with this picture, stat.

--- International Undead - It sounds like screenwriter Steven Knight might be stepping back to Max Brooks' terrific multi-POV book World War Z for the film's sequel; the original movie with Brad Pitt was decent, especially considering the mess it was thought to be before release with all the re-shoots, but it didn't really end up having anything to do with Brooks' book in the end.

--- Big Wig - I'm seeing John Cameron Mitchell do Hedwig in two days and I wouldn't be more excited if Jake Gyllenhaal were in my pants right now. (Okay okay I over-state things.) The New York Times interviewed JCM about the show (thanks Mac) and sure enough even a couple of paragraphs in you can already tell how much more resonant an experience it is for him than I ever got off of Neil Patrick Harris, who clearly saw it (correctly, too!) as his route to Tony gold.

--- Forever Moore - As long as all goes according to plan at this year's Oscar ceremony one of the most over-due of all actors, Julianne Moore, will finally have a little golden man to call her own. She should have like four or five of those things by now, which is made evident by this Top Ten list of her greatest performances at The Film Experience - ask me five minutes apart and I'd totally rearrange my own list, so stuffed with greatness is her work. How do you even begin to choose between Amber Waves and Cathy Whitaker and Carol White?

John Cameron Mitchell Is Hedwig, Again

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The original, accept no mico-penised rock-star substitutes, is coming back to do the show on Broadway for eight weeks, starting on January 21st!!! I saw and I liked NPH in the role, but I have haaaaaaaaaated the fact that I missed John do his original run back in the day so I've already snapped up tickets for this, like fuckin' lightning. You can buy your tickets right here. And if you want to read the press release, hit the jump...

Gone Girl Got Junk

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David Fincher's Gone Girl is out today and it's been a big topic online all week - I will direct you once again to my review at The Film Experience, but now that it's out for y'all to see I do wanna hear what you think of the movie. There have been a couple of positive reviews I've read that have momentarily convinced me that I might've been overly critical of the film, that maybe my Affleck-loathing had poisoned the well, but... no, I just don't think it's all it could've been. It never comes together - the trap never snaps shut on its Venus fangs.

One sticking point I forgot to mention in my review is, shockingly, the score - I am a Trent Reznor fan from way back, I had a ten foot poster of him on my dorm room wall, I dyed my hair black for god's sake. I loved Trent's music for his two previous Fincher collaborations. And the music itself, on its lonesome, is fine. But it doesn't sit well on the movie at all - it feels stifling and misplaced and not at all what the movie needed.

Also if you wanna see how fast you can get my brow to furrow, mention that you thought Tyler Perry gave anything more than an adequate performance - just because he didn't come in swinging from the rafters and behaved like a human being is not cause for celebration, people. I would love to hear somebody explain to me exactly what he did that was anything special with that part. Maybe an argument could be made that he made a good choice in under-playing a role that could've been hams-ville, especially in his hammy hands, and I might be willing to grant you that. But beyond that I nearly fell asleep when he was on-screen.

Another story that's gotten traction this week - because it's more interesting to talk about than Affleck's dull performance - is Big Ben's exposed genitalia. I enjoyed Rich's piece at Gawker (I even got a shout-out in that one) and Vulture's piece on just how to make sure you don't miss it had me in stitches. Oh and here's an interview with Michael Fassbender's penis on the subject. It's been a good week for cock-talk. For the record it is there, and it does seem impressive. No wonder Jennifer Garner seems so dazed all the time. It hasn't gotten as much attention but Neil Patrick Harris also gives a full-frontal in the film, but I am fairly certain it's a prosthetic for... reasons you'll understand when you see the movie. Still, good on Fincher. American movies need less funny dicks, and more sexy slash straight-dude-threatening ones.

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Gone Girl Gone Gone

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I popped out a review of David Fincher's Gone Girl last night over at The Film Experience, go check it out there. I also posted several pictures from the press conference that followed the screening over at Instagram, if you wanna stare at famous people like Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, David Fincher, Neil Patrick Harris and Tyler Perry.
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Who Wore It Best?

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Michael C Hall is going to take over Hedwig on Broadway in October, once Girls star Andrew Rannells is done; Neil Patrick Harris of course just won a Tony for playing the part, and it's not the first time that Neil and Mikey have shared stage drawers - as you see up top they both played the Emcee in Cabaret, too. But who looked better all Wilkommen wet-n-wilded out? You must choose!

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poll by twiigs.com

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Neil Patrick Harris One Time

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(via) Well okay I'm almost willing to forgive what he and his husband wore to the Met the other night. Almost. Okay no, not really. There is no forgiveness for that. But I'll take this, anyway.

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TV Just Gained An Angel

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I thought that maybe if I slept on the news that Greta Gerwig is going to star in the sitcom spin-off of How I Met Your Mother, called creatively enough How I Met Your Dad ("Father" is too formal, I guess), that it could turn out to have been a hallucination brought about my the pain medication I'm taking for my arm, but unless I drifted off into a coma sometime yesterday it appears that this is the world I live in, one where this is actually real news. 

I'm not really sure where I stand on it. I think I'd probably be more open to it if I weren't already suffering in a world where Anna Faris' sitcom Mom has already stolen away one of my tip-top favorite funny ladies  - I literally deleted the Mom season pass off of my DVR last night about an hour before this Gerwig news broke. I tried with Mom, over and over again, but its laugh track, incessant and shrill, broke me. Its baseline aiming-for-the-bleachers humor certainly didn't help.

And now Greta, my most beloved of all, is jumping in the same game? The news that she's producing and probably writing does tilt the scales slightly in the enterprise's favor, for sure. But how her is she gonna get to keep things? We're not talking about Lena Dunham getting to keep all her edges sharp thanks to HBO here - this is CBS. This won't be Frances Ha: The Show - the edges are gonna be sanded down some. Once upon a time I'd have been able to say that just getting to see a weekly dose of Greta would be enough, but if it turns out to be as painful as Mom is, will I be able to keep looking?

What do you guys think?

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Mingle Tingle

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I wish this starred somebody other than David Burtka opposite him (ugh David Burtka), but a little bit of Cheyenne Jackson in a dress shirt and khakis kissing on another guy (whomever it might be) will always go a long way...

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I Am Link

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--- Acting Time For Andy - I suppose Andrew Garfield has got to find something to do in his downtime between slipping in and out of his bum-accentuating spandex, so he's just signed on to star in 99 Homes, the new flick from Man Push Cart's Ramin Bahrani. So, you know, a chance to act again. It's about a man who loses his home who then ends up teaming with the broker who took it to take other people's homes. All American as all get out, then.

--- God Damned - It's only been two weeks but I find myself already going back and convincing myself that there was more to love about Only God Forgives then there actually was, since it seems so inexplicable that the things that should've been so cool were not so cool. (Here's my review.) So I'm thankful for this knock-down drag-out evisceration of the movie from Michael C over at The Film Experience, I needed to reminder.

--- They Got Their Girl - As rumored Rosamund Pike has officially signed on to play the "girl" in Gone Girl, David Fincher's forthcoming adaptation of Gillian Flynn's terrific book, which already has (much to my chagrin) Ben Affleck attached as the male lead. I actually caught Pike in Jack Reacher this weekend - I had no idea she was in it, and now that I've seen it I have no recollection of her, so it works out in one way. but then JR is tremendously forgettable (how the hell do you waste Werner Herzog as a bad guy like that?) so I have no doubt Fincher will give her more to work with than she had there. Also in contention for roles - Neil Patrick Harris and Tyler Perry? Somebody remind me who the hell those two could play, please.

--- Miami Heat - There are a few new pictures from Ridley Scott's The Counselor over here, and good news Michael Fassbender's in nearly every single one. I was worried with such a starry cast that Fassy might get upstaged but he seems pretty central, thank goodness. Also are those linen pants? Michael "swinging all over the place" Fassbender in linen pants? Give the costume designer their Oscar right now.

--- Space Helpings - Yesterday I had a nervous breakdown over a single clip that was released to promote Alfonso Cuaron's Gravity - I would like you all to know I stayed strong, I still haven't watched it. Well now they've gone and released two more, apparently! Good grief. Strangely I actually feel it's easier to not watch them once there are more and more - I'm certainly not going to watch all three, and how would I pick which one to watch? So I'm totes good now.

--- Gold Rush - Ewan McGregor and Gwyneth Paltrow and going to co-star with Johnny Depp in David Koepp's Mortdechai, which sounds like National Treasure meets The Thomas Crown Affair or something. Art theivery and secret codes and blah blah treasure. Anyway if you get rid of the Depp element, I'd totally be excited for this, I love Ewan and yes I love Gwyneth I don't care what you say. Of course Koepp made the terrible bike messenger thriller Premium Rush last - which I was just thinking about this morning because there was this douche-bag messenger crowding the entire subway car with his bike during rush hour - so who knows.

--- All A Flutter - Glenn saw Dan Futterman at BAM the other night and gives us a report on how his ass is holding up, along with a slew of old pictures of him in Urbania, which are always always always worth a look-see. God he was just the most perfect fuzzy adorable thing in that ever. (some more here too)

--- Dead Girl - Abagail Breslin, who I just watched run around in her bra with a screwdriver pressed to her face in The Call the other night, will play Arnold Schwarzenegger's zombie daughter in Maggie, which is about him trying to bring his daughter back from zombie-dom. I really need to write my reivew of The Call today, by the way. If you happened to miss my live-tweeting during it... I have things to say about that movie.

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Today's Mood

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Yeah that seems about right. (via)

Quote of the Day

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"The look of the film is a lot bigger than what we did even previously. The first one worked and people loved it, but this is with a different director and just has a totally different feel. There's a definite "Game of Thrones" vibe thanks to [director] Alan [Taylor]."

-- That's Chris Hemsworth talking about Thor 2. And since A Game of Thrones is a dirty dirty whore's den, I am naturally taking "a definite Games of Thrones vibe" to mean that Thor's mighty hammer makes an explicit appearance. No, not his literal hammer. His metaphorical hammer. You know what I mean. Yeah? Oh yeah.

Thursday's Ways Not To Die

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"It's okay. It's okay.

Captain Hammer will save us......"

Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog (2008)

Famous last words, Penny. No really, those are Penny's famous last words. Holding out for a hero right until the end. That dame, man. She'll drive a man to villainy! No really, she will drive a man to villainy. See?

Told ya so.

Oh and a happy 33rd birthday to Felicia Day!

Oh and then this picture because yes, keep touching.

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Previous Ways Not To Die: Staring Contest of the Dead -- Satanic Self Sacrifice -- Fist and Fortune -- Psychedelic Penis Slice To Window Toss -- For Crimes Against Accent -- Sacked -- Speed Bumped For Traffic Spikes -- Shark Versus Jet-Ski -- Hot Oil Treatment -- Tucked In By Jason -- Just A Pair of Snowbodies -- Poison Pellet Kibble Swap -- Dolly Disassembled -- Fire Escape Fall Out -- Unbuggered -- Tell 'Em Large Marge Sent'cha -- Blue Man Gooped -- Tongue Stung -- Now Wouldn't Cha, Barracuda? -- Leaving on a Rat Plane -- Panthers! -- Fashion Faux-Pwned -- "It's Just A Box." -- Blasted Pigeons -- Taunting Ahnuld -- The Too Hot Tub -- Beyond the Veil -- Sunken Prayers-- Super Crack -- Brains Blown -- Fur For The Boogens -- White Hot Bunny Rabbit Rage --Dragged To Hell -- The TV Van That Dripped Blood -- Don't Mess With Mama -- Heads Ahoy --Martyred For Sheep -- Heads Nor Tails -- He Loves Me Knot -- The Great Bouncing Brad --Miss Kitty's 8 Mishaps -- Boat Smoosh -- Meeting the French-Tipped Menace -- A Magic Trick -- Slick Suck -- We Who Walk Here Walk Alone -- Raptor Bait -- Kneegasm'd -- Dare to Dream in Fincher -- Reach Out and Throttle Someone -- De-Faced -- Voluntary Drowning -- Cross Borne -- Pulled Up Hell's Sphincter -- An Arrow Up The Ass - The Numerous Violent Unbecomings of Olive Oyl -- Ack! Ack! Zap! -- Baby's First Acid Splash -- Chop, Drop and Sashimi Roll -- Forever Rafter -- Can't You Hear Me Now? -- Daisies Ways #5 - Harpoony Side Up -- Acid Dip -- On a Wing and a Prey -- For Standing in the Way of Sappho -- Busting Rule Number Three (For The Purpose of Number Two) -- Daisies #4 - Window Dressed To Killed --Hands Off the Haas Orb -- Bullet Ballet -- A Single Vacancy at the Roach Motel -- A School Bus Slipped Thru The Ice -- Trache-AAHHHH!!!-tomy'd - For Mel Gibson's Sins -- A Wide Stanced Slashing --- Daisies Ways #3 - Scratch n' Snuffed -- The Victim of a Viscous Hit & Run-- Curled -- Kabobbed -- Daisies Ways #2 - Aggravated Cementia -- Boo! Nun! -- 2009's Ways Not To Die -- Bug Scratch Fever -- Daisies Ways #1 - Deep Fat Fried in My Own Unique Blend of 500 Herbs & Spices -- By the Yard End of the Stick -- Screwed From A Very Great Distance-- A Righteous Bear-Jew Beatdown -- Fisted By Hugo Sitglitz -- Xeno Morphed -- Fuck-Stuck -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 4 -- Lava Bombed -- The Cradle Will Rock... Your Face Off!!! -- The Food of the Nilbog Goblins -- The Slugs Is Gonna Gitcha -- Phone Shark -- Hide The Carrot -- Sarlacc Snacked -- Avada Kedavra!!! -- Hooked, Lined and Sinkered -- "The Libyans!" -- Axe Me No Questions -- Pin the Chainsaw on the Prostitute -- The Wrath of the Crystal Unicorn -- The Ultimate Extreme Make-Over -- Drown In A Sink Before The Opening Credits Even Roll -- The Dog Who Knew Too Much -- Don't Die Over Spilled Milk -- Inviting the Wrath of Aguirre -- An Inconceivable Outwitting -- The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique -- Nipple Injected Blue Junk -- Your Pick Of The Deadly Six -- Thing Hungry --Don't Fuck With The Serial Killer's Daughter -- DO Forget To Add The Fabric Softener -- Any Of The Ways Depicted In This Masterpiece Of Lost Cinema -- Rode Down In The Friscalating Dusklight -- Good Morning, Sunshine! -- Mornin' Cuppa Drano -- The Cylon-Engineered Apocalypse -- Tender-Eye-zed -- Martian Atmospheric Asphyxiation -- Maimed By A Mystical Person-Cat -- The Sheets Are Not To Be Trusted -- Handicapable Face-Hacked -- I Did It For You, Faramir -- Summertime In The Park... Of A Pedophile's Mind -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 3 -- Strung Up With Festive Holiday Bulbs By Santa Claus Himself -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 2 -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 1 -- Decapitated Plucked Broiled & Sliced -- Head On A Stick! -- A Trip To The Ol' Wood-Chipper -- Pointed By The T-1000 --Sucking Face With Freddy Krueger -- A Pen-Full Of Home-Brewed Speed to The Eye --Motivational Speech, Interrupted -- A Freak Ephemera Storm -- When Ya Gotta Go... Ya Gotta Go -- Hoisted By Your Own Hand Grenade -- Having The Years Suction-Cupped Away --Criss-Cross -- Turned Into A Person-Cocoon By The Touch Of A Little Girl's Mirror Doppleganger -- Satisfying Society's "Pop Princess" Blood-Lust -- Done In By The Doggie Door-- Tuned Out -- Taking the 107th Step -- Rescuing Gretchen -- Incinerated By Lousy Dialogue-- Starred & Striped Forever -- Vivisection Via Vaginally-Minded Barbed-Wire -- Chompers (Down There) -- Run Down By M. Night Shyamalan -- Everything Up To And Including The Kitchen Toaster -- Sacrificed To Kali -- Via The Gargantuan Venom Of The Black Mamba Snake -- Turned Into An Evil Robot -- The Out-Of-Nowhere Careening Vehicle Splat -- "Oh My God... It's Dip!!!" -- Critter Balled -- Stuff'd -- A Hot-Air Balloon Ride... Straight To Hell!!!-- Puppy Betrayal -- High-Heeled By A Girlfriend Impersonator -- Flip-Top Beheaded --Because I'm Too Goddamned Beautiful To Live -- By Choosing... Poorly... -- Fried Alive Due To Baby Ingenuity -- A Good Old-Fashioned Tentacle Smothering -- Eepa! Eepa! -- Gremlins Ate My Stairlift -- An Icicle Thru The Eye -- Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare --Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head

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