Let's Fall Into the Weekend, Guys

Well somehow it's Friday, don't ask me how, and the weekend is here. I don't have any reviews going up today which is fine by me since my brain has been fully dysfunctional this week -- I blame the pollen but it's probably just dementia setting in. Whatever. Twas inevitable. That said I have seen two of the movies that are in theaters today -- one of them, Jane Schoenbrun's I Saw the TV Glow, I have seen twice and I will be reviewing that -- just not until it opens wide in two weeks. It's only in NYC and LA today. But if you're in one of those places go see it! It's [spoiler alert for my eventual review] awesome [end spoiler alert]. And the other one is The Fall Guy with Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt, which is fun. I am terribly happy I don't have to review that because I could not possibly be bothered to come up with more than that, I don't think. Gosling & Blunt have mega-watt chemistry which the dumb story coasts on for awhile, and the stunts are very much worth seeing on a big screen. But the movie is at least half an hour too long. As far as David Leitch Action Movies go it's no Atomic Blonde, but it's better than the Deadpool movies. Also this is a hoot:

Not sure if I am going to review THE FALL GUY or not so let me just make sure I get it out there that Aaron Taylor-Johnson's Matthew McConaughey impersonation is funny as fuck pic.twitter.com/amFZxEkRsR

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) May 2, 2024

And that's that. Oh well one more thing I guess as long as I am in a rambling mood -- I just added a shit-ton of movies for sale on eBay, so if you're in the market for some physical media head on over and make me an offer on something. Then I can in turn buy more movies for myself. It is, dare I say, the circle of life.

Pic of the Day

Say hello (or something filthier, if you like) to a brand new photo of Aaron Taylor-Johnson in the upcoming The Fall Guy movie, based on the 80s TV show (I was a fan as a kid) and starring Ryan Gosling as a stuntman who works with Aaron's douchebag actor. The movie is out in theaters on May 9th but I do believe it just screened at SXSW since I saw some tweets that were like, "I just saw The Fall Guy at SXSW." I'm a real Sherlock Homo over here. Anyway I didn't pay much attention to the tweets (I try not to read too much before seeing something for myself, which is why I have also avoided everything Road-House-related out of SXSW this week) but the hype seemed generally enthusiastic. Here's the trailer released a few weeks back in case you missed it:

Ryan Gosling Eight Times

I haven't read it yet but plastic-boy and Oscar nominee Ryan Gosling is on the cover of this week's Variety talking Barbie, one assumes -- I am sure he has something sweet to say about Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie missing out on directing and acting nominations, as well he should. I caught the photos before the article thanks to photographer Greg Williams on Instagram though, so that's where my head is at. Same as it ever was! Hit the jump for all the Gosling technicolor goodness...

Now That Is A Wolf Man

I have nothing against Ryan Gosling but I gotta admit I'm pleased as punch with today's news that he's no longer starring in the upcoming The Wolf Man movie from Invisible Man director Leigh Whannell -- he's being replaced by Chris Abbott, and y'all know I love me some Chris Abbott. And Abbott just, you know, looks more like a wolf man? A blond wolfman was always kind of weird and I said as much when Gosling got originally cast. Also, and I say this with a seriousness the subject might not demand, Chris has proven far more willing to bare skin...

... and if we're getting a Wolf Man in 2024 it should have at least as much nudity as David Naughton did in 1981 for god's sake. You better come through, Whannell! Anyway this kind of dulls the sting of how hard I've been trying to win the lottery for cheap tickets to see Abbott on stage with Aubrey Plaza in the play Danny and the Deep Blue Sea -- every day another loser notification for weeks on end dammit. Can't believe I'm going to miss this:

Valley of the Doll

Okay so I lied last week -- I never updated Wednesday's post with a link to my review of Greta Gerwig's Barbie. So here, here it is, here is my review of Greta Gerwig's Barbie. I had mixed feelings which I made pretty clear, and they remain mixed even here in the wake of Barbie-mania -- did I ever think I would feel mixed feelings about Greta Gerwig helming a massive blockbuster and breaking a bunch of box office records? Well if I had had the wherewithal to even consider such a thing a possibility back when I fell in love with Frances Ha then yes, I think even then I would've known the concessions that would've come with such a feat, and seen such mixed feelings were ahead. Still there are far far far worse movies in the world and I don't be grudge anybody loving Barbie. There is fun to be had within it, and anyway who the fuck cares -- I'm just one person and it wasn't really for me and the news that Mattel has plans for everything from Polly Pocket to a fucking Uno movie now just fills me with preemptive exhaustion, what can I say? Obviously more, since here's a Twitter thread from just this morning:

These past couple weeks of Greta Gerwig keep reminding me of the San Diego passage in FRANCES HA - how under the black + white mumblecore city girl quirk Frances was really a suburban girl who goes to church and gets along with her parents

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) July 26, 2023

Pink Fantasia Ahoy

The weekend of the cinematic summer has arrived, as Greta Gerwig's Barbie movie and Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer movie -- the great Barbenheiming, as foretold in the old books -- stand imminent. My review of Barbie will be popping up at Pajiba tomorrow I believe, and I will update this post with a link when it has. As for Oppenheimer I have seen it but I haven't figured out what or where or if I am saying something. But stay tuned! I might! And won't that be a thrill for everybody? Until then, as I foretold y'all last week, tomorrow I am leaving for the Fantasia Film Festival in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, aka the maple syrupy land of Xavier Dolan and, like, mimes? I don't know. Follow me on my socials (probably especially my Instagram) if you want to keep stalkerish track of my every move -- I might post stuff while I'm away since it's technically a "work" trip, but I also might not since I am a lazy piece of shit. I mean I will have several reviews from Fantasia going up over the next couple of weeks, but we'll get to that once we're there. For now y'all just go see some movies this weekend, and support the fine artists who have worked hard to entertain and terrify you. And I will be officially back here in a week!

He's a Barbie Boy

The internet is coming for me hard today! (Word choice.) I just spent an hour making gifs out of Lee Pace's naked Foundation fight scene, and here suddenly the second I'm done there's a "Just Ken" trailer cut for Barbie, chockfull of Ryan Gosling and the other assorted Kens (Simu!) from Greta Gerwig's film being hot and gay-ish. 

(thx Mac) Well I'm sorry I don't have it in me to spend another hour giffing today so you'll just have to make do with watching the video. The movie's out in a week and a half, you can go watch the movie on the big screen and see...

... all of the sights writ two stories tall, baby!

For now, just enlarge this and pretend:

Barbie drops on July 21st! be there or be... just be there.

Pic of the Day

New pic of Ryan Gosling as Ken in
Greta Gerwig's Barbie movie dropped.

Oh and my pants, there went my pants,

 they also seem to have dropped.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Blade Runner 2049 (2017)

Freysa: Our lives mean nothing next to a storm that's coming.

Dying for the right cause. It's the most human thing we can do.

Sorry, I don't know why I'm thinking about this movie today...

And this is it now pic.twitter.com/cANnq8MX8v

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) June 7, 2023

Good Morning, Rodeo Ken

Are these cowboy photos of Ryan Gosling camp? I feel like they might be -- they're so aggressively butch, but simultaneously with so many highlights and lowlights and so, so much cleavage. And with him spending the entire interview justifying his role as "Ken" in the Barbie movie... I feel like this has to be considered camp. Camp can be sexy, and these are sexy camp. I'll brook no argument -- I have decided. Campiest thing of the week, y'all. Hit the jump for the whole shoot...

Ryan Gosling Six Times

I shared the new Barbie poster with you yesterday but not the latest trailer, so here -- you can watch the trailer right here. I haven't watched it myself, as I'm saving my mind and body and spirit for July 21st when it hits theaters (or whenever they schedule the press screening before that, more likely). But I have seen enough memes going around to get the poppy gist! Anyway these new photos of Ryan here (via) feel like they're bridging the gap between Ken and The Driver from Drive sort of right? Like The Driver got the beach-swept special at the salon in between hit jobs. And if that doesn't make you hit the jump nothing will...

Hey Look It's the Barbie Poster

That sure is the Barbie poster! Greta Gerwig's Barbie movie, which is a thing, is hitting theaters on July 21st. There are also an enormous pile of character posters floating around as well and you can see them here but come on, this is all we care about: 

I'm a Barbie Girl

The teaser trailer for Greta Gerwig's inexplicable Barbie movie is here and y'all, it's a delight. I'm trying to remember the last time I saw a quality 2001 spoof and I feel like it's been awhile, so this delighted me. But I'll shut up before I give away too much -- just watch the damn thing:

Fun, right? I am of course a Greta Gerwig stan from way back and never truly doubted my girl, even though I think we all, even the most stalwart of us, were like, "... huh?" This tease doesn't tell us what the story is that she and Noah Baumbach came up with but it's so funny and the glimpses we see are so colorful and camp (little girls sleeping on prehistoric rocks is camp, don't come at me with your Sontagian definitions) that, of course. Of course they knew what they were doing. This is out on July 21st! Bring it on, baby doll! Thoughts from you people?

The Fall Hunk

There was a pile-up of cool people added to the cast of The Fall Guy movie that is being made over the past few weeks that I saw happening but didn't keep good track of -- yes, it's a big-screen adaptation of the 1980s series that starred Lee Majors and yes that show was one of Little Me's favorites. Anyway the movie stars Ryan Gosling in that lead role but surrounding him will be Emily Blunt, Winston Duke, Hannah Waddingham (from Ted Lasso), Stephanie Hsu (the daughter in Everything Everywhere All at Once), and most important to us and today's interests one Aaron Taylor-Johnson....

... who has been photographed (via, thx Paul) on the set looking like this last night. Consider every single person who visits this site's tickets for opening weekend already purchased, Movie! Aaron worked with director David Leitch on his last film (that'd be Bullet Train) and came out looking great (even if I thought the movie was just alright) so I think we've got a new director-actor fave duo. I just hope Leitch gets around to making another Atomic Blonde movie someday... and not just because I am now picture Aaron playing the villain. But I am picturing that. Let's get that done. Hit the jump for all of the photos...

Tropical Gosling Malady

You're all not going to be getting much out of me today, as I'm feeling sloppy-brained due to the combination of 1)  annual birthday-related ennui, 2) heat exhaustion, and 3) the fact that I'm heading out tomorrow morning for several days offline to visit family and friends and will be 3a) driving a car -- I hate driving a car so much it stresses me out all on its own. Point being my head's not in the game right now and the best I can really offer are these photos of Ryan Gosling looking sharp at some movie event thing for his film The Grey Man last night (via). I think I totally love this outfit? Either that or I have absolutely snapped -- either's possible!

Pic of the Day

(click to embiggen) We have our first look at Ryan Gosling playing Ken in Greta Gerwig's upcoming Barbie movie and I really am at a loss for words for once y'all. I mean those are several words I just said, and they were technically formed into a sentence, but other than that I cannot possibly offer anything else on this. My brain is absolutely broken by everything that is happening here. Please comment in the comments and let's try to get through this together.

Gosling Gives Good Howl

Couple tidbits of Ryan Gosling news that I should make sure make their way here onto the site, even if they're either not earth-shattering exactly or brand new -- hey it gives me a reason to post the above photo, and that's enough. Okay so today's news is that Ryan is re-teaming with The Place Behind the Pines and Blue Valentine director Derek Cianfrance for his previously-announced Wolfman movie -- the news here is that Invisible Man director Leigh Whannell seems to have moved on, or been moved on, although given how successful he was with Invisible Man I'd think the studio would want to keep him happy so I'm guessing the former. Or maybe Gosling wanted the change and has more power. What the fuck do I know? I am just regurgitating news from Deadline so I can share it alongside some happy trail. Anyway Cianfrance hasn't really shown much (read: any) interest in horror before but that could make it interesting in itself. We will see. 

The other news, which is several days old now but we're here and we might as well run with it, is that Gosling is in talks to play plastic crotchless Ken in Greta Gerwig's Barbie movie, opposite Margot Robbie. I have no idea what this project is, it has confounded me since Day One, and I'm just gonna put my faith in Greta for now. Being an atheist and all she's the closest I've got to a deity so fingers crossed we don't have a repeat of Time magazine's April 8 1966 cover on our hands. Thoughts on these projects? Or just life in general? How's your knees doing? Tell me something, you.

Take a Bite Outta Nicky

Universal might have embarrassed themselves a few years back with their original concept of a so-called "shared Monsters universe" after Tom Cruise's Mummy movie bit the big one, but after the success of Elisabeth Moss and The Invisible Man movie they've been working at rebooting the concept -- Leigh Whannell, who helmed that Invisible Man, is currently working on a Wolfman film with Ryan Gosling, and the great Karyn Kusama is making yet another Dracula flick. (Also Paul Feig has talked about a Bride idea!) Well today comes word that the character of Renfield from Dracula is getting his very own film, and it will star the gorgeous and perfect Nicholas Hoult in the lead. This ain't yo momma's Tom Waits!

It's been a very long time since I've read Bram Stoker's book so I don't remember how Renfield, the man driven mad with obsequience to his vampire master, is described therein, but it's not like anybody has paid any attention to "the text" in a century as far as this particular tale goes... point being sure, make Renfield a hot piece, why not? I just hope they follow through on the homoerotic implications here -- that Count Dracula choosing a slave boy as beautiful as Nicky has... connotations, ones that would be best followed through here in the year of our Dark Lord 2021. That said the super straight crew making this project -- Chris McKay of the Lego movies, from a story by Walking Dead comics-creator Robert Kirkman -- doesn't give me a lotta hope on that front Dammit, Renfield should be kinda gay. Or really really gay. Like, really. I mean give this movie to Xavier Dolan -- I wanna see that.

The Actor To End All Actors

This post mostly exists as an excuse to share a photo of Ryan Gosling -- and for me to get a chance to google pictures of Ryan Gosling, which also paid off on Twitter a minute ago (see below) -- but this is interesting news on his next project, too! Not his immediate next project which is I think the Wolfman movie he's doing with Invisible Man director Leigh Whannell. And not the next one after that which is the CIA thriller The Grey Man with the Russo Brothers (starring opposite Chris Evans and Ana de Armas and Billy Bob Thornton and Regé-Jean Page and Alfre freakin' Woodward). But the next next next one, which is called The Actor, descibed thus:

"Oscar-nominee Gosling will play actor Paul Cole who becomes stranded in 1950s Ohio after a brutal attack. Suffering from severe memory loss, he struggles to find his way back to his life in New York and reclaim what he has lost."

Now on to why I actually care: The Actor is being directed by Duke Johnson, the dude who brought us the brilliant stop-motion animation of Anomolisa alongside Charlie Kaufman. Annnnd speaking of the great and powerful Kaufman, he's just come onboard the film as an Executive Producer. Get some sweet sweet cashola, Charlie, so you can deliver unto us another directorial masterpiece this decade. 

Ryan Gosling photographed by Tony Duran in 2001 pic.twitter.com/u1Ta88iFgm

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) April 14, 2021

10 Off My Head: Siri Says 2013

So I got a new cell phone this weekend and the set-up was creepily easy -- I just had to hold the new phone in proximity to the old one and... shit like transferred right over? Through the air? Technology truly baffles me, but sure, why not, just let it happen even if it makes me skin crawl. (I was reading up on the things my new phone can do and I found out about the "Facetime Attention Correction" which was the creepiest -- you're basically deep-faking your own eyeballs? Ugh!) 

That said it wasn't until this very moment now when I sat down to do this week's entry in our "Siri Says" series -- where I ask Siri to pick a number between 1 and 100 and then tell you people my favorite films from the year that corresponds -- that I suddenly became worried for the sentient being called Siri that lives inside my telephone. Was she transferred over along with my information? Is this some other lady giving me numbers now? Some imposter? If I can't trust my Siri who can I trust? This is like the start of every 90s Erotic-Thriller, I tell ya.

Anyway I asked this "Siri" for my number today and just like last week "she" gave me a usable number on the very first try -- at this point, having done so many of these posts, getting an unused number on the very first try is an outlier. So my point is whether this is "my" Siri or not "she" is doing a good job so whatever -- cut to the "Siri" on my old phone getting bricked, consciousness trapped forever in some nowhere-world, an episode of Black Mirror if ever there was a really boring episode of Black Mirror. (Or perhaps this has all been Performance Art for Spike Jonze's Her, included below.)

Point being the lady inside my phone, whomever she might be now, told me "13" so we're choosing from the Movies of 2013. 2013 was the year that MNPP's annual awards tradition of The Pantys went a little wonky, because I fell down and broke my arm around the time I was meant to post them, and posting anything became difficult for a few months. I only got around to posting a list of My 15 Favorite Films of 2013 in... March of 2014, lol. And looking back today my list is a little different. Our foundations are quaking, y'all. 

My 10 Favorite Movies of 2013

Frances Ha

(dir. Greta Gerwig)

-- released on May 17th 2013 --

The Bling Ring

(dir. Sofia Coppola)

-- released on June 21st 2013 --

Short Term 12 

(dir. Dustin Daniel Cretton)

-- released on August 23rd 2013 --

You're Next 

(dir. Adam Wingard)

-- released on August 23rd 2013 --

12 Years a Slave

(dir. Steve McQueen)

-- released on November 8th 2013 --

Inside Llewyn Davis

(dir. Coens)

-- released on December 6th 2013 --

Stoker

(dir. Park Chan-wook)

-- released on March 1st 2013 --

The Great Beauty

(dir. Paolo Sorrentino)

-- released on November 15th 2013 --

Her

(dir. Spike Jonze)

-- released on December 18th 2013 --

Stranger By the Lake 

(dir. Alain Guiraudie)

-- released on 2013 --

-------------------------------------

Runners-up: Only God Forgives (dir. Refn), The Heat (dir. Paul Feig), Pacific Rim (dir. Guillermo Del Toro) Enough Said (dir. Nicole Holofcener), About Time (dir. Richard Curtis), A Field in England (dir. Ben Wheatley), Nymphomaniac (dir. Lars Von Trier), Snowpiercer (dir. Bong Joon-ho), Tom at the Farm (dir. Dolan), The Past (dir. Asghar Farhadi)...

... The Counselor (dir. Ridley Scott), Captain Phillips (dir. Paul Greengrass), Gravity (dir. Alfonso Cuaron), The Act of Killing (dir. Joshua Oppenheimer), Byzantium (dir. Neil Jordan), I'm So Excited (dir. Pedro Almodovar), Fruitvale Station (dir. Ryan Coogler), Oblivion (dir. Joseph Kosinski), The Place Beyond the Pines (dir. Cianfrance), Filth (dir. Jon S. Baird) 

Never seen: The Grandmaster (dir. Wong Kar-wai), What Maisie Knew (dir. Scott McGehee), The English Teacher (dir. Craig Lisk), Ida (dir. Pawel Pawlikowski), Grace of Monaco (dir. Olivier Dahan), Bastards (dir. Claire Denis), Black Nativity (dir. Kasi Lemmons), The Fifth Estate (dir. Bill Condon)

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What are your favorite movies of 2013?