The Psycho & The Superman

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The trailer for the new Nicholas Sparks movie is here and I refuse to look up the plot or anything associated with any of that for this probable garbage movie but as soon as I saw that Benjamin Walker was the star I knew we'd get some shirtless shots in the trailer and sure enough on a quick skim through there he was! Nicholas Sparks is good for that much. As I was scanning through I realized...

... is that Tom Welling? I had to stare and stare to realize it is. The last time we saw Tom he wasn't looking like this - he seems to be playing a dope, guessing from the paint-by-numbers Nicholas Sparks plot I've grafted onto my skim through the trailer, so I guess he decided to dope himself up for the role? Ya dope. Anyway I have talked about a Nicholas Sparks movie too much already - there are more shirtless slash adorable Ben shots after the jump to tide us over til we see him in American Psycho on Broadway in the Spring is all that matters...

From Welling To Felker And Beyond

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I posted a different shirtless shot of Tom in this same old photo-shoot a few weeks ago, but egads somehow I missed them three humdingers. They're all via photographer Andrea Marino who is supposedly releasing a book of his celebrity photographs; I say supposedly because I can't find any links to where you'd buy said book... but he does have a lot of shots up on his website which're worth perusing, especially the ones of this dude Matt Felkor, whose name's been invading my space a bunch over the past few weeks and I have no idea why except just look at this motherfucker:

Oh, the beard. Oh, the everything else. Oh, the everything else PLUS the beard. Looking it up now I see he starred in a movie called Balls to the Wall about male strippers that JJ posted a couple of shots from last month, that's why his name seemed familiar; it was supposed to have been released on Netflix but checking Netflix it only says "Availability Date Unknown." Damn them! Also apparently he is in a relationship with Minnie Driver?!?!

How about them apples? Jesus, Minnie. Get it, girl. Alright so hit the jump for more shots of Mr. Felker with his everything else plus the beard (I do mean his literal beard, although lord knows I'm hoping that Minnie's his metaphorical beard)...

Good Morning, World

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(via)

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Like Fine Wine

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I can't even with how good Tom Welling

is looking in Venice this week, you guys.

I Am Link

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--- Oui Oui Monsieur - Jean Dujardin is heading back to his homeland to make another movie with his buttfucking buddy Gilles Lellouche - it's called La France and it's about a cop who fought a big drug ring in the 80s. Lellouche will play the big bad kingpin he's up against. And then they buttfuck?

--- Dead Love - I'm not watching these because I want to go into the movie as fresh as a daisy (or you know as fresh as I can manage, being me) but here's two clips from Jim Jamusch's vampire movie with Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston called Only Lovers Left Alive, if you have no such reservations.

--- Wright Wrong - This news seemed like a strange fit when I reported it last week so this doesn't surprise me - director Joe Wright of Hanna and Anna Karenina and so forth says he has no interest in making a 50 Shades of Gray movie, even though the producers were courting him.

--- Matty Alive - I guess I'm just going to have to learn to like Noomi Rapace because she keeps deciding to make movies with the menfolk that I cannot get enough of - she's worked with Fassy and Colin Farrell already, and now after having just finished making Animal Rescue with Tom Hardy and Matthias Schoenaerts she's signed up to work with the latter again on Alive Alone about a woman on the run from a crime boss who gets tangled up with an ex-Guantanamo detainee. Matthias Schoenaerts is not really what I picture when I picture a Guantanamo detainee, but whatever, I won't complain about chances to see him do anything.

--- Critter Balls - I have no comment on this at this point - a Gremlins reboot is still in the works. No comment, except possibly all the indigestion that holding in my comments will result in.

--- White Man - Hmm what do we think of this brand new older beefier Orlando Bloom? That shot's from a movie called Zulu starring Bloom and Forest Whitaker as two Capetown cops searching into the murder of a teen girl, yadda yadda apartheid. The Playlist has a couple more pics and clips. It's closing Cannes this year.

--- Starring Ryan - His remake of Logan's Run is definitely on hold right now, says Nicolas Winding Refn, but he and Ryan Gosling for sure will keep working together - they want to make a comedy. I have an idea! Ryan's clothes just keep falling right off of him. Hysterical, right? Speaking of, there's a big batch of new pics from Only God Forgives right here.

--- Super Jock - This has promising written all over it so let's hope they don't fuck us over here with all it could be - Tom Welling has just joined a football movie! It's about Kevin Costner playing the general manager of the Cleveland Browns yadda yadda Superboy in a jockstrap, go.

--- Head on a Stick - Hey looks it's the first poster for the Wolf Creek sequel! Now it's only a sales poster for Cannes where they'll be looking for a buyer, so I'll forgive the shoddy blatant theft of design from the Evil Dead remake's poster, for now. Anyway it's exciting to see John Jarrett all done up all the same.

--- The Toxic Austrian - This is just bizarre news - Arnold Schwarzenegger is in talks to star in a remake of The Toxic Avenger. The world we live in is one where a Troma icon can now be portrayed by an ex US Governor. What a world, what a world.

--- And finally, if Nicholas Hoult and Hugh Jackman (mostly Hoult, actually) are sporting such serious packages in their 70s clothes in the new X-Men movie as they are in this shot tweeted by Bryan Singer from the set then can you even imagine what it's gonna look like once Michael Fassbender slithers into his costume? I mean the 60s clothes were already too much for all of him. The mind reels.

Good Morning, World

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A happy birthday to Bo Duke slash Pa Kent - John Schneider's turning 53 today and he is still looking mighty fine. I went with a sampler of pictures because why not? I had to get that mustache one in, obviously. And I had to get some of his what-religion-am-I jeans from The Dukes of Hazzard, of course.

And then, obviously, I had to post this picture:

Good Morning, World

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Ahh, we've all been there. A happy 27th birthday to Alan Ritchson, who's made a career these past few years out of playing a very large very oft naked person. We appreciate it. I've thrown up several shots of him (jockstrap alert) after the jump, but for an excess check out Superherofan's gallery, there;'s more than I could ever hope to post. Alan's been very very kind. Do you think he and Tom Welling ever made out during his time on Smallville? I choose to believe so.

Faster Than A Speeding Boner

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I told myself that this post's title was too much but I couldn't stop myself, like the five year old that I am it kept making me giggle. So my apologies, I know what I have done, and yet I couldn't help it. Let's blame the cold medication I'm on, okay? Anyway via JJ (via Nat) comes that picture of Brandon Routh and Dean Cain, Supermen. The only thing missing is Tom Welling sandwiched between the two of them. Thankfully there's already an MNPP post for that.

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Vintage Welling

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Since Tom Welling refuses to hock his ass like a proper piece-o-meat anymore, we're just gonna have to keep dipping back into the well of vintage modeling pictures of him as a pretty young thing back before he stagnated in the Smallville pond. Happy 33, pretty! (pics via)


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Good Morning, World

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I know I say this with exasperation every time, and I'm the one bringing it up so obviously I know the answer here, but Smallville is still on? WTF? Still, Tom Welling's still lookin' good, so it gets a pass. You keep on truckin', Smallville.
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Good Morning, World

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Do Dump or Marry - Super(Natural)Men

I innocently clicked on over to EW.com just now, expecting some simple entertainment news, and what was I confronted with? PORNOGRAPHY. Smut rag! Smut rag! Entertainment Weekly is a smut rag! Alright alright I might be exaggerating just a wee tad. What it was was this (cover the eyes of the impressionable and potentially horny youths in your presence):

I know, right? Placing those three guys in the same frame with those (seriously dumb, in a hot way of course) looks on their faces.. well I can't help it that my mind filled in the blanks now can I? It just screams The Moron Orgy Of Your Dreams! Well from there I realized we have a terrific opportunity given us here. It's Do Dump or Marry time! The choices:

Tom Welling (for loads more TW click here)


Jensen Ackles


Jared Padalecki (for loads more JP click here)

I think y'all know who's getting dumped by me (maybe the one who doesn't have his own tag here at MNPP? Although in Jensen's defense, I did find some pretty hot pictures of him out there) but as for the Do'ing and the Marry'ing, well Tom wins my heart and Jared wins my dick. Putting it... simply. But how about y'all?

ETA here's a real-life shot of the three together (along with that dude that played Lex and some lady):


And here's a not-real-life NSFW (seriously, it's not safe for work!) picture of Jared and Tom engaging in, um, a not-safe-for-work activity that comes up really fast when you google their names together. And that's why I love the internet. Hot bobble-head sex!
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Tom Welling Five Times

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Gratutitous Sam Witwer

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True story (and my apologies to the boyfriend for broadcasting this in such a manner, but it's the only way to get to where we're going): Last night the boyfriend was in the kitchen making dinner, and I was in the living-room... well, not making dinner (sitting on my ass and finishing watching The Children's Hour, if you must know). While cooking he had Smallville playing on the small black-and-white TV we have in the kitchen and I heard him exclaim at the TV, "He's hot." I laughed to myself but forgot to bring it up to him thereafter, so I'm not totally sure whether he was speaking of super-stud Tom Welling (who is indeed hot) or that Doomsday dude Sam Witwer, but I'm gonna go with the latter here because a) I know Witwer was parading around shirtless in last night's Smallville:

And b) I've never spoken of Witwer's hotness - in fact, to some people's chagrin I even (mistakenly) left him off the "Hot Guys of Battlestar" post I did at The Film Experience. Anyway it's about time I did. I don't know. The boyfriend expressed an interest and I do his bidding whenever I can.

So. Sam Witwer. You might know him
as Crashdown from Battlestar:


Or as Doomsday from Smallville:


Or maybe you recall his role as the doomed
(with sexy results) military dude in The Mist:

Whatever the case, I think Mr. Witwer is indeed hot. Good call, maybe, boyfriend! He's apparently also in a band called The Crashtones, and even though I have no idea what they sound like he's giving off some serious Henry Rollins Jr. vibes in these pics:

So yeah. Hi, Sam. Keep truckin' with your bad self.
Here's a few more pics.


Yeah, that last one is him and Tahmoh Penikett...
touching each other... sigh.
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