I Am Link

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--- Boo Brother Bill - Bill Skarsgard is really gunning for that Scream Queen sash and tiara. After having started his US career with Eli Roth's series Hemlock Grove he signed on to play Pennywise the fucking clown in the remake of It, and now he's taken it even further - he'll be a series regular on the Stephen King anthology show Castle Rock, which we told you the other week has been busy gathering up an astonishing cast of talent with Melanie Lynskey and Sissy Spacek out in front. Anyway I thought Bill was sexy but terrible on Hemlock Grove but then that was a terrible show, period, so let's hope he's bringing it for King.

--- Super Soviet - The Wrap has word that Wonder Woman 2 will be set in the 1980s and will tackle the Cold War with the Russians, a timely villain if ever there was one, I'd say! All I know is you make me think of Russians in the 80s and you make me think of Dolph Lundgren and Brigitte Nielsen, so let's get one or both of them in there, please. I mean Dolph did just join the cast of Aquaman recently so he's a part of the DC Universe already! Easy peasy!

--- One Immortal Man - In a role that will surely take excellent advantage of his talents for stripping half-naked and standing there beautiful blunk Derek Theler has signed on to be a goofy superhero called Mister Immortal in the Marvel TV show called New Warriors for the FreeForm channel. For plenty of evidence that Derek has what it takes to stand there half-naked, click here. Other "heroes" on New Warriors are called "Debrii" and "Squirrel Girl" so I'm thinking it's a comedy!

--- Confederate Pride - When I reviewed Sofia Coppola's film The Beguiled right here I talked about how I felt the movie was a parable about the specter of the Civil War lingering over the South even to this day, and so Vulture's latest piece on the film, which tackles how an absence of Race is actually a commentary on Race and the role of the "Southern Belle" in our understanding of it, well, it fits just fine alongside my take on the movie, I think.

--- Oscar To Be - I haven't had the chance to read the New York Times' long chat with Oscar Isaac yet (thx Mac) but you can do so here if you like - it has some very fine photographs of him attached! Those I have had the time for. Anyway I have been desperately frantically trying to win tickets through the lottery for his ongoing stage take on Hamlet, which is what they're chatting him up about, so perhaps posting this will put the better angels on my side. That's how things work right?
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--- Big Screen Baldwin - Great news yesterday that Moonlight director Barry Jenkins has signed on to make his next feature, an adaptation of James Baldwin's 1974 novel If Beale Street Could Talk, which is about a young love affair torn apart by a crime not committed. I have not read this book, but it's on the list now. I'm actually woefully still behind on my Baldwin. But if you've read it any casting ideas? it sounds like the two main characters are supposed to be pretty young - 19 and 22.

--- Acid Freak - After mostly just hating the shit out of Alien Covenant I can't say I'm all that excited to hear Sir Ridley Scott yapping about all the upcoming Alien movies he's working on - I mourn the loss of Neill Blomkamp's movie with Sigourney Weaver every single day. Anyway Scott's talking about tying things up with the original 1979 film again, and he says that Ripley will be "somebody's daughter." Ooh fascinating, that will shake my world. (Please sense the sarcasm.) If you'd like to further torment yourselves you can check out the extras on the upcoming Covenant blu-ray over at BD. (thx Mac) None of them are titled "Michael Fassbender fucks himself for three hours" though so I'm already bored.

--- What Scares You - The Guardian has a good piece going around this past week looking at what they call "Post Horror Movies" - stuff like It Comes at Night and A Ghost Story and It Follows where the typical horror movie narratives are hollowed out and turned into other less obvious things. (thanks Mac) While I definitely think there's a story here - and Horror Movies are experiencing a fascinating period right now - the article reads a little blind to the genre's past to me? I mean Horror Movies invent their own rules as they go along, specifically so they can break them - that's what Horror is. So this isn't something new. It's the entire point of the genre, and has been ever since Dracula first flinched at a crucifix.

Derek Theler Four Times

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I hadn't checked in on the Baby Daddy star in a bit and hoooo-lee shit was that a mistake, what with this quite something photo-shoot floating around. (thx Mac)

It's from the photographer Brad Everett Young, and you can peruse a great big gallery of his work over on Flickr. Besides Derek there are a whole bunch of hot gentleman folk to be seen, so I highly recommend that click.

Good grief, this man. This man is too much. Too much too much. In case you've never stared at him for hours before, check out our Derek Theler archives. They are thorough, and also worth the clicks. Click click click click. (Click is the sound of the world masturbating, by the way.)

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... getting jungle fever with Derek Theler.

The Babydaddy hunk is currently hanging out in the rain-forests of Peru growing a fuzzy ginger beard (via his Instagram) and I'm contemplating a green Christmas, very green - helicoptering myself down there and going all Predator on his ass. But not violent like the Predator. More like... a Sex Predator. That's me! Mister A Number One Sex Predator. Anyway if he doesn't take any pictures of himself in a loincloth then this entire trip was a waste. Hit the jump for a few more shots, including some bonus underpants ones from some recent movie he was in...

Derek Theler Two Times

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(click to embiggen) When I did that gratuitous Derek Theler post this morning how could I have known these pictures (via) would show up? I am, unfortunately, not a nipple psychic. Man if I could have one super-power though...

Good Morning, World

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I posted a couple of stills from this scene from a movie called Shark Killer in our last big gratuitous Derek Theler post in January, but somehow I missed Shark Killer's plot description when I did that...

"The services of shark killer Ace Hunter have been engaged by his brother Jake, the head of a West Coast crime ring. The gig: kill the black-finned shark that swallowed a valuable diamond."

So there's that. (ACE HUNTER.) 

Aaaaanyway Derek shows his ass, the end.

Good Morning, World

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I can't believe I'm about to write this sentence but I totally forgot that I had this video of Derek Theler and Parry Shen flirting in towels in a locker-room on General Hospital sitting on my hard-drive. I know. WTF me?

It wasn't until earlier this week when Derek's girlfriend posted on Instagram pictures of the two of them aping that show Naked & Afraid (by taking pictures of themselves both afraid and yes, naked) that I remembered I also had this stuff to post too.

So yeah, thanks Derek's Girlfriend. I guess I shouldn't hate your guts for being Derek's girlfriend after all. (But I probably do anyway. Sorry.) Hit the jump for more of this, with the video, plus those Naked & Afraid pics!

Good Morning, World

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Yeah we just gratuitized Derek Theler a few days ago, it's true, but something else that is also true is about an hour after I published that post I stumbled upon this promotional video for his show Baby Daddy, which is just five uninterrupted minutes of Derek Theler pretend-sleeping, tossing and turning, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxer-briefs.

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This is how you sell a show! Give all the advertising awards 

to the team behind Baby Daddy, because they are geniuses. 

Baby Geniuses!

Gratuitous Derek Theler Again

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Derek Theler is not getting any younger, Hollywood Casting Agents - I look at his IMDb page and I see nothing, nothing! Just that Baby Daddy show (which granted, has taken plenty advantage of the good stuff) and something called Shark Killer - he apparently shows at least some of his ass in the latter...

... which is a fine start, but come on. 

Get him off the couch and in front of the cameras!

These shots are from a photo-shoot for Bello magazine (via JJ); Derek also instagrammed a video from behind-the-scenes of the shoot awhile ago, so if you hit the jump I've got the rest of those pictures plus some gifs from that video plus just a ton of other shots - over fifty! - that've been floating around for a bit. (And of course you can click his tag for lots of previously-posted goodness.)

Pics of the Day

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I've posted about the actor (slash beefcake prop) Derek Theler way more than I've ever watched his ABC Family series Baby Daddy (I have never watched his ABC Family series Baby Daddy, so that's easy math to do) so I have no idea if he's got any talent at all when it comes to acting. But that hasn't kept me from rooting for his career! Go n' get it, Derek! The world is your oyster - slurp that sucker down. (In this scenario, yes, I am the oyster.) So anyway I was super happy to see that Instrgrammed picture above, letting us know that he's landed a role on Sons of Anarchy... and then this happened:

Ya know, Charlie Hunnam ain't no small potato. He's over six feet tall. And Derek Theler could cradle him in his arms like he was an eensy little baby doll. Well I've got my visual aids for the rest of the month now - thanks guys!
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I Am Link

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--- Always Looking - I'm halfway through this chat with Jonathan Groff at Playbill about all the stuff he's been up to lately - there's not much new info about the second season of Looking but it's nice to know the cast has actually become friends; he says they're on their way to Fire Island together right after the interview which, damn, I wanna bump into the Looking cast on Fire Island. As somebody did -- that picture to the left (via) being proof.

--- Summer Snow - As long as I don't crap out on it (I'm not feeling well today) I'll be seeing Bong Joon-ho's Snowpiercer a second time tonight this time on a big screen here in NYC with BJH in person (here's my original review of the film, which is terrific and I def. recommend - if for Tilda alone!) so linking to this piece on the movie at EW seems timely.

--- Live Wires - It's not a movie version of those a-hole characters they played on SNL but Jason Sudekis is in talks to co-star in a heist comedy with Kristen Wiig - actually the level of his"co-star"'ing isn't entirely clear since the movie is already set to star Zach Galifinakis as an armored car driver and Wiig as his love interest - it doesn't say where Sudeikis fits in. 

--- New Old Prey - Writer-director Shane Black says that his reboot of Predator isn't really a reboot but is actually a sequel. But as they point out at that link unless they get Arnold into it it will be starring a whole new cast and the only thing they'll be carrying over is the creature (and not even the original one since Arnold killed it with bombs) so yeah, basically a reboot. Just referincing the events of the original film - ooh look a scorched jungle! - does not a sequel make. Although in typing that I suddenly remember there was a second one with Danny Glover! I totally forgot that existed.

---  Big Fella - I don't even know why I'm linking to this interview with slab-of-meat Derek Theler - I mean I know why, but I feel as if I need some excuse if it's not just to ogle him. At least he's entirely clear with his place in the world as a slab-of-meat, and he comes off well in there, so I don't have to feel too gross about it. Dude is 6'4" and 240 pounds of nothing but muscle. I don't feel bad! Click here for lots of pictures of him.

--- Movie Pride - Over at The Film Experience Nathaniel the list-lover tackles a couple of recent ones - I'd seen and trembled in fright at the one of the 100 Greatest Movies according to some Hollywood folks (this is why the movies coming out of Hollywood suck so much - so little imagination up in there) but I'd missed the list of essential LGBT movies.

--- Free Mila -  I'm with Daniel at Salon on that interview with Mila Kunis that everybody's calling her a bitch for - how fickle we are; wasn't it just a few months ago that she was an interviewer's darling? God forbid she not have patience for some dumb questions. One lousy turn in an Oz movie and one lousy looking trailer for a Wachowskis movie (and let's be honest, nobody wants to see her with Ashton Kutcher) and suddenly we're all out for blood.

--- And Finally ooh look a new Nina video! I loooove this song.

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Where Do I Apply To Be Derek Theler's Back End?

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Giddy up. (via)

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Good Morning, World

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You know what they say about milk. It does a body goddamn take all of your clothes off right now and ravage me here on the kitchen counter, stud. Did you hear they just retired the "Got Milk?" ad campaign after 20 years? All I know is I'd sure like to give Derek Theler a milk mustache. (Psst I'm not really talking about milk.) 

I have posted so many shots from this ABCFamily show of Derek's called Baby Daddy without ever watching a single second of it - I know that Derek has pressed on Twitter for people to watch the show, I guess it's not doing well ratings-wise; I am part of the problem. But I'm also part of the solution! Because here I am on the internet showing you these pics, which might get one of you to watch it. You guys go do the hard work of entertaining yourselves for me, please. After the jump more shapely incentives...

Good Morning, World

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I feel as if I should do a "Who Wore It Best" with a side-by-side of that picture of Derek Theler and a picture of my grandmother. No, my grandmother doesn't have those arms (unfortunately). But Derek has the exact same hair-do that my grandmother's been sporting for about forty years now. Same coloring, everything. I hope that in such a case you guys would definitely vote for my grandmother and not leave a poor old woman sitting out in the rain, but I don't know, I probably would vote for Derek myself. Sorry, Grandma! Maybe if you went to the gym once in awhile, had abs like his, we could talk.

Derek Theler Seven Times

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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... pistol whipped by Derek Theler as Deadpool. (via)

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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be... 

... getting a rub down from Derek Theler.

(pics via) No idea what the context is to these shots of previous gratuity recipient and all around perfect specimen of man Derek Theler being shirtless once again on his ABC Family comedy Baby Daddy (what the joke is involving all of those wash-cloths, that is)... nor do I care. 

I mean, is he any good as an actor? Anybody know?

Because he could rule the world, if so.

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Baby Daddy Belly Check

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(via) The only reason I know that the show Baby Daddy is a thing is because Derek Theler is a ridiculously enormous slab of man who takes his clothes off a whole bunch, which we've documented here and here (I highly recommend clicking on both of those links). The only reason I really know that Matt Dallas is a thing is he announced his engagement to another pretty boy back in January. But much like the peanut butter cup, bringing together two unexpected things has led to loveliness. (The guy on the far right is named Jean-Luc Bilodeau.) Look how tiny Theler makes Dallas look in that right picture though! He is a ridiculous mountain of human being.

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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... two sets of footprints in the sand with Derek Theler.

Only sometimes we'd just be one set, 

because he'd be "carrying" me.

(via) Yes I did indeed just try to turn the religious cheese-fest that is that "Footprints in the Sand" poem into an ode to gay sex of some sort. Try, yes. Successfully? Not really. But who cares, nobody's reading these words anyway, not with all that to look at, so I'm not going to expend a ton of effort here.

It's been several months since I posted over sixty pictures of Mr. Theler, who is quite literally a perfect physical specimen, in a big gratuitous round-up, and the dude's been busy in the interim shoveling plenty more gratuity into the world via his own personal Instragram account. Derek Theler is my hero, you guys. Everyone emulate him immediately! Hit the jump for a ton more.