Which is Hotter?

Glen Powell's cover for the Mexican edition of Men's Health (seen above left) is different from the U.S. cover and it immediately reminded me of Ryan Reynolds on the 2009 iussue of Entertainment Weekly... so why not face them off? It's Monday and I'm taking today easy to reaquaint myself with this nonsense after a week off, so let's do dumb stuff. Vote!

online polls

And if you missed Glen's entire Men's Health 

photo-shoot you can see that hotness right here.

You Win This Round, Krasinski

There isn't a whole lot that could make me want to see a kid's movie directed by John Krasinski and starring Ryan Reynolds -- a pornographic movie, sure? But a kid's movie? Nahhh. I am of the mind that Krasinski's Quiet Place movies are politically retrograde and shoddily crafted and Ryan, bless his continued hotness, has turned himself into a brand who only churns out terrible Netflix movies. But then they went and released a trailer for their kid's movie called If -- it's about a teen girl who can see everyone's imaginary friends -- and they put Ryan in suspenders...

... and against bookshelves no less, and this is a pure and undiluted act of violence against my will, y'all. I love a man in suspenders. I've admitted this fetish before but ever since that formative photograph of shirtless Benjamin Bratt's back in suspenders appeared in my life back in the day I have had very little willpower as far as suspenders are concerned and Ryan appears to spend...

... like half of this dumb movie in a shirt and suspenders. Violence, I say! Anyway I'm not posting the trailer but you can watch it right here -- there are really good people doing (what I assume is) voice-work in this movie too. People like Maya Rudolph and Sam Rockwell and Christopher Meloni and Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Fiona f'ing Shaw! So I won't hold it against anybody if they're excited about this. I'll just be over here with these gifs feeling very unclean, is all.

Good Morning, World

This is a much better coming out video than Stranger Things' actor Noah Schnapp's first one was. (In all seriousness, congratulations to this young man and welcome to the fold, and most excellent taste.) (via)

Smirk Yourself Silly

Hello, you. Unexpectedly quiet day here at MNPP HQ -- I have ended up being mostly offline. But I did want to direct your attentions to my review of the new Ryan Reynolds joint, his sci-fi family flick The Adam Project, which you can read over at Pajiba. I did not care for this movie at all! But it's on Netflix so feel free to watch it yourself and hey maybe you will -- we are all beautiful little butterflies with our own tastes and opinions after all, and thank goodness for that. That's my message to you today! Be a butterfly! Actually, scratch that, I hate butterflies. They're just bugs in drag! Be something with fewer legs. A worm is fine. Be a worm! And have a great weekend, my beautiful worms!

Good Morning, World

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Do like Deadpool -- bust out your big guns

and get your ass vaccinated! Well, not your ass.

Unless they'll do that. Will they do that? Maaan.

The Dirtier the Deadpool

Lord knows I love an excuse to post one of GQ's photos of Ryan Reynolds stripping down to his Deadpool costume -- see more here --  and that's really my only excuse for sharing today's news via an interview with Marvel biggie Kevin Feige at Collider. That news is that the third Deadpool movie will be Rated R -- make it twice as dirty or Rated RR for "Ryan Reynolds" why don't they -- and that it will indeed be a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe this time. Meaning y'all should get a head-start on your Ryan Reynolds / Tom Holland fan-fic like yesterday.

Vampire Pubes & the Gaylords Who Love 'Em

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Following up on their episode where they interviewed Luca Guadagnino about his horror masterpiece Suspiria a couple of weeks ago MNPP pals the Gaylords of Darkness are having another big week this week -- titled "The Three-ening" they're presenting a brand new episode of their podcast every single day for a week, focusing on the third entry in seven different  horror franchises, in order to raise money for the very worthy cause of the National Black Justice Coalition. The donation page is right here -- the Gaylords direct page, with links to the episodes and all that jazz, is right here. I present all of this information to you with these glorious ol' shots of Ryan Reynolds flashing his vampire pubis in the 2004 film Blade Trinity because that's the topic of today's talkathon. That is to say Blade Trinity is the topic, not the pubis, although the pubis clearly comes up. How could it not?

Jake Puts His Ass Up For Tom Holland

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He did it, he did it! Yesterday Tom Holland challenged Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Reynolds (oh and his best buddy Harrison too, who did it last night) to do what he did, namely put on a shirt whilst also hand-standing. We covered it here, rather thoroughly, including how Jake immediately teased him and us back... we weren't sure Jake was gonna do it (Ryan Reynolds chickened out), but here it is!

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Blessings be upon us all. Also I love how at the end of the video Jake hysterically challenges Hugh Jackman and 50 Cent and his sister Maggie to do this. LOL please Maggie! We need to see it. (And then she should challenge the hubby Peter Sarsgaard.) We are blessed.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... helping Tom get that shirt back off.

Our spider-twink Tom Holland has just upon his Insta (thx Dennis) kicked off what I hope is the next thirst trend among ripped male celebrities -- and given the names he drops at the end as his challenge pass-off (Jake!) I'm thinking it might get too good too fast -- by putting on a shirt whilst also doing a handstand. And it's really too good for just gifs, given all of the grunting sound effects that go along with it, so I downloaded the whole thing to YouTube. Enjoy.

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ETA oh right, I should add Jake's response:

YES, JAKE. THAT IS THE CHALLENGE. DO IT.

Good Morning, Gratuitous Giulio Berruti II

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At right about the mid-point in Downhill -- the remake of Force Majeure out in theaters tomorrow starring Julia-Louis Dreyfus and Will Ferrell -- a terrifically gorgeous face shows up. No, not Will Ferrell's. The movie, if you don't know, is about some tension springing up between a married couple -- well at the film's mid-point the tension grows a face, and the terrifically gorgeous face seemed sort of familiar to me. For a happy second I thought that hey maybe I had a flirty ski instructor in the Alps who looked like these pictures...

... but no, I am not living that, my best life. Turns out I've done a great big gratuitous post on the actor before -- his name is Giulio Berruti and he's Italian (as if I needed to tell you that) and he is just... too much. He's done a couple of non-Italian movies here and there -- besides Downhill later this year he'll be opposite Ryan Reynolds in The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard, for example. Oh and one of his very first roles was in Luca Guadagnino's first film Melissa P, which isn't at all surprising. This is him on the left:

Of course Luca hired this man. Luca ain't no dummy. Anyway to celebrate his role in Downhill (which I'll be reviewing soon enough, stay tuned) I figured I should dig up some photos that've presented themselves since our last post, which was way back in 2014, and a new great big gratuitous post was born. This one. The one you're reading right now, here, this very morning. Hit the jump for a few dozen pics...

Ryan Reynolds' 43 Year Old Abs

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I've mentioned Ryan Reynolds' celebrity trainer Don Saladino here on MNPP before since he trains not just Ryan but also Sebastian Stan -- I guess I really should've put down the Dunkin' and become a celebrity trainer. Who knew? Anyway Sir Saladino shared these here two shots of Ryan training for Deadpool 2 a few weeks ago on his Insta but we're just getting around to sharing them today for Ryan's 43rd birthday. A happy birthday to all of us, then!

Pics of the Day

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Somehow this movie totally slipped by me -- that's Ryan Reynolds (in a really ridiculously bicep-friendly dress shirt) being dragged around at gun-point by Killing Eve superstar Jodie Comer on the set of their new film called Free Guy; see more pictures here. The reason this attracts my eye enough for a post -- besides Ryan's biceps I mean -- is that...

... besides these two adorable people the film also stars adorable Ragnarok director Taika Waititi and adorable Stranger Things actor Joe Keery, and once I am having myself an imaginary five-some with adorable people it merits mention. The film's based on a video-game about a dude who realizes he is living inside of a video-game, so basically it's The Truman Show meets eXistenZ... and yes the fact that both of those movies are 20 years old give some pause about the timeliness of this tale for the telling, but we'll see when we see. And hey if Ryan can kiss Joe or Taika (or both) I'll see for sure, is all I'm saying.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Mississippi Grind (2015)

Gerry: Do you know how to get a sweet little old lady to yell
"Go fuck yourself?" Get another sweet little old lady to yell "Bingo!"

A happy 50 to Ben Mendelsohn today!

What's your fave perf from this everywhere Aussie?

This one's mine but Animal Kingdom is pretty stellar too.

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Doctor Feels Good

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I was going to say the last time that Ryan Reynolds starred in a horror movie was 13 years ago when he looked like this and made the Amityville Horror remake, which is only remembered because he looked like that. But then I remembered he made that outer-space horror-movie Life with Jake Gyllenhaal just last year (memorable, notsomuch, it turns out) and he also made that "Ryan Reynolds is trapped in a box!" movie called Buried in 2010, which counts.

So anyway he's no stranger to the genre, which he's about to revisit with the just-announced The Patient Who Nearly Drove Me Out of Medicine, which is quite the title. We'll see if they keep the title (I hope they do, I like long weirdly specific titles), which comes from a novella by Jasper DeWitt that was published via Reddit No Sleep - it's about, and I quote, "an idealistic young doctor who tries to solve a mystery and heal its most difficult patient." Dr. Ryan Reynolds! Sign me up, cough, cough. (thx Mac)
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Good Morning, World

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It's Ryan Reynolds' birthday 42nd today and believe you me I'd post something new if we had it, but we're just going to have to make due with the bath scene from the (terrible) Amityville Horror remake again. Woe is us. Anyway at least this gives us a chance to sidestep over to the Beards of Horror for a quick second, since we're spending this holiday celebrating the Mustaches so thoroughly. Beards won't be ignored! Both Ryan and James Brolin in the original film would handily merit inclusion on a Beards list.

Ryan Reynolds Rocket Science

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We just passed the five year anniversary of Sam Raimi's Oz the Great and Powerful in March and I don't believe I saw a single person mark that - hmm I wonder why... I am being an asshole, we all know perfectly well why, the movie was a hot slice of garbage. Sometimes I wonder if I should go back and give it another chance but then my entire body folds in upon itself like an Arctic Scrotum before I can try, oh well. But thankfully for everybody Sam Raimi's a white dude and he's got like ten more high profile chances left in him - I mean that with all my heart, for I adore that white dude, and I look forward to whatever he's spent the past five years coming up with.

Which we're getting word on! And yes funny enough it involves Ryan Reynolds, which is why all of this "Sam Raimi" talk you're reading has been illustrated with pictures of Ryan Reynolds. I usually figure y'all can keep up with such two-track thinking, and I am usually correct. Anyway the rumor is that Sam's "Bermuda Triangle" movie is gonna happen and it's gonna star Deadpool himself as (sigh) a theoretical physicist... deep sigh... who opens up a wormhole in order to recover a nuclear submarine that got lost in the Triangle. Because when I think Ryan Reynolds...

... I think Theoretical Physicist. I mean he can wear glasses, as seen above, so I guess he's halfway there. The script was written by the dude who wrote Real Steel and the most recent Power Rangers movie, so I guess it's safe to assume (as if casting Ryan Reynolds as a theoretical physicist wasn't clue enough already) that the film will probably be over-the-top. Which is good, that's Raimi's wheelhouse. We'll see. It starts filming in September. Until then hit the jump for a few more recent pictures of the theoretical physicist that I haven't gotten around to posting quite yet...

Anti Heroes & Everything After

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What are we all planning on seeing this weekend? I have an early maybe screening tonight that I am not mentioning by name lest I jinx it, wish me luck, but other than that I'm not sure - will I see Deadpool 2? I haven't bought tickets yet which is not a good sign. I'm feeling like I might just wait a bit, catch it in a couple of weeks. I liked the original fine although it was seriously over-praised in some quarters. But it's more likely this weekend that I'll find the time to see one of the Charles Farrell films that MoMA is screening (I told you about that series previously right here.) Anyway if y'all see Deadpool or anything else hit up the comments and tell me all about it and now I am off to my mystery maybe screening...

Good Morning, Sinners

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Since the Deadpool sequel is out today and giving us more super-buff CG Josh Brolin sexuality (following his purple turn as Thanos, destroyer of worlds, in the Avengers sequel), I figured it's as excellent a time as any, even excellenter, to look back at his expensively obscured bits in the Sin City sequel from 2014. They worked so hard to keep his dick away from us! Dicks are so scary, aren't they? Run away from dicks! Run right after the jump for no dicks, no dicks at all...

Freddy Krueger Gymspiration

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(via)

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Ryan Reynolds Three Times

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I haven't read his interview in the New York Times which these photos accompany but y'all feel free and then report back if within there he expresses his desire to have a torrid affair of sexual substance with a male movie blogger some time real soon. And then I'll definitely go and read it. Until then I'm just gonna think about making that happen real hard.

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