Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

The Last Days of Disco (1998)

Tom: Actually, there's one theory that the

environmental movement of our day was sparked

by the rerelease of Bambi in the late 1950s.

I am kind of shocked to realize that today (for its 25th anniversary) is the first time I have ever done one of these posts for this movie here on the site -- looking through quotes from it it's pretty much nothing but important life lessons from start to finish. And yet I picked one of the most absurd quotes -- I mean they're all absurd, but this one of of context is more than many. Anyway I re-watched this movie last year and it was even better than I remembered it -- I did a small Twitter thread (linked below) which I highly recommend. I'm very much a Whit Stillman fan but I think this movie has become my favorite -- that said once I go re-watch Metropolitan I'll say the same about it. That's just the way his work rolls. Each one infects you on contact. If you don't have the Criterion trilogy boxed-set I highly recommend it, as an object of witticism within which to luxuriate one's self. (I phrased it that way because it would make all of his hypocritical characters burst into hives.)

Haha Nice little Matt Keeslar moment for the gays pic.twitter.com/4TL60wKbRj

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) January 8, 2022

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Nowhere (1997)

Lucifer: If you pop a zit on your forehead
you can get blood poisoning and die, you know.
Dark: Lucifer, you are so dumb you should donate
your brain to a monkey science fair.

A happy birthday to Kathleen Robertson today!

I wish she'd have shown up on Araki's 

Now Apocalypse; she'd have fit right in...

Good Morning, World

.

Since, much to our dismay mind you, Matt Keeslar doesn't really work as an actor anymore -- although I am happy to see he has his first credit in five years on Grimm, looking sexy with a beard...

... anybody know what's that's all about? I don't watch the show. But anyway since there's not much to say about him new-wise we're going to take the opportunity of his 43rd birthday to remind the world that most of Gregg Araki's movies, including the 1999 film Splendor, seen here, are out of print -- an oversight so egregious I can't believe I still have to bitch about it. Yo Gregg! Whatcha doin? Where's our blu-ray boxed set already? Look how shitty the quality of these gifs are, for god's sake! WE DESERVE BETTER.

Good Morning, World

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Matt Keeslar One Time

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Dude's just up and vanished, huh?
Have you seen this man???
Send him my way, if so.

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Good Morning, World

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5 Off My Head - Gregg Araki's 50

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Can you believe that one of queer cinema's premiere punks, Gregg Araki, is turning 50 today? That seems nuts to me. He seems so eternally youthful. (Could be the tank-tops.) Anyway I would normally name my five favorite films of his in his honor, but the man's only directed seven films in his twenty-something-year career, so that's pretty much pointless. So instead... this seems fun! Let it be known: the man's a giver. Some of the hottest queerish scenes ever put on celluloid belong to him. Here are my five faves. (For the record I'm limiting myself to one scene per film, otherwise this would probably just be a list of everything Jonathan Schaech's done in Araki's films, the end.)

Jonathan Schaech and Matt Keeslar's kiss in Splendor

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John Krasinski in the shower in Smiley Face


Joseph Gordon-Levitt's play-by-play in Mysterious Skin


Any conversation between Jonathan Scheach
and James Duval in The Doom Generation


Just two guys taking a shower, in The Living End
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And now I need to take a very, very cold shower.
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... hosing down Johnathon Schaech.

This post has been brought to you by this post I did yesterday at The Film Experience, where I wished Jessica Lange a happy 60th birthday, and by this post at PopWrap, bringing the world a new shot of Mr. Schaech in his almost-altogether:


These two things combined to remind me of this weirdly incestuous scene in the 1998 film Hush (Lange is playing his mother) seen above and viola, this post.

But as I was looking through an assortment of photographs of him in his various film roles - for research, of course - I noticed a career commonality: he's wet an awful damn lot in his movies. Hosed down, poured on, splashing around... he always seems to be floating in a bath-tub or just finishing a shower. So I decided to rip a page from Adam (of Club Silencio)'s play-book and highlight this as his Signature... that's a crafty way of me branding this as something more than just an excuse to post a bunch of pictures of him half-naked and wet, right? Seriously, this post wasn't meant to be so big but I just kept finding instances of this in his films... how strange, right? An odd phenomenon. Crazy!

Welcome to Woop Woop

Brave New World

The Doom Generation

Angels Fall

Splendor

Road House 2

Sparrow

How to Make an American Quilt

(most of these pics are via here)
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I Am Link

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--- Firstly, Me - If you head over to The Film Experience today you can check out this post by yours truly on the topic of movies that don't end where we think they should end. Inspired by my viewing of the French thriller - the quite good until the last instant French thriller - Tell No One.

--- To Re-See Disco - Joe re-watched the I-remember-liking-it-a-lot movie The Last Days of Disco and says it's held up quite good. I want to watch it again now. I'd forgotten that my love Matt Keeslar was even in it!

--- Riddle Me What - Michael Caine was probably just drunk, but he's telling reporters that The Riddler has been chosen as the next Batman flick's villain.

--- Just Jack, In Jail - The great Arbogast On Film found the most ridiculously incongruous poster for One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. I wish it were that bonkers!

--- Down On Joss - There's a whole lotta Whedon bashing going on in this post at Electronic Cerebrectomy on the state of Superman and other DC heroes in film, but dare I say that for once I agree with Aaron on the topic of Joss. Joss is wrong here, and Aaron nails why.

--- Howdy, Pilgrim - /Film directs us to the official site for Edgar Wright, and by extension his next flick Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, where Wright's continued on posting behind-the-scenes pics - a new one every day! - from the film's shoot, which just started this week. Behold the goodness!

--- And finally, Magnolia Pictures thinks their movie's fans are stupid pieces of shit for complaining about the subtitle-shenanigans for Let the Right One In. Thanks, dudes! Love you too.
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Pics of the Day

Man it's a great feeling when two of your favorite things come smashing together. Chocolate and peanut butter, Q-tips and MDMA, and now this! Via io9:

That would be the lovely Mr. Matt Keeslar in a tank-top in a couple of preview pics from an upcoming (they're all upcoming at this point) episode of Joss Whedon's Dollhouse. Hooray!
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Which Is Hotter?

In honor of his 36th birthday, which version of

Matt Keeslar in Gregg Araki's Splendor do you prefer:


Caveman (above)...
or French Fries?


(Shut up, I'm running out of pictures of him to post.
And I don't know what all you people might be into.)
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Why I Am Watching Middleman

I got home Monday evening from my weekend jaunt and had luckily pre-set the Tivo to record ABC Family's Middleman after wondering last week why I wasn't watching the show, being an avid admirer of Mr. Matt Keeslar... anyway, I say it was lucky that I set the Tivo to record the show because what should unto my wondering eyes appear as soon as I get home?

Swoon. Evil Keeslar, all Snake Plissken'd out. Yes please. (pics via) I turned to the boyfriend and stated that Mr. Matt Keeslar is a special effect in and of himself.

And other than the man-candy, the show wasn't half bad actually. The boyfriend was correct in calling it reminiscent of the goofy crappiness of Dr. Who, but it sorta worked for me (where Dr. Who never has - geek blasphemy!). It had a sly-ish sense of humor. And Keeslar.
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Why Aren't I Watching Middleman?

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I knew this day would come. I knew the ABC Family series Middleman would eventually get the beautiful Matt Keeslar out of his clothes and I would immediately regret the fact that I haven't been watching the show. And it's happened. And I do! I regret. Deeply.

Besides the skin-factor though, I have heard whisperings that the show itself is not half bad. Is that possible? Could ABC Family have a good program? Anyone seen it?

Anyway, enough talk. More Keeslar! I can't even fathom that I've never given this man a gratuitous post.

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