Never Knowing Who To Cling To

I probably wouldn't be looking forward to Blonde if it wasn't directed by Andrew Dominik, which I do realize is the straight-bro-film-douchiest thing I could say but I can't help it, man -- you did see The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, right? What other choice do I have? That's not to say that the other ingredients don't intrigue me -- I like Ana de Armas just fine, she has been fun in Knives Out and Knock Knock and especially No Time To Die. I can't say I have felt terribly moved by any work she's done so far, but if it's gonna happen I imagine a Marilyn Monroe bio-pic would be the moment. Speaking of I also love Marilyn and I am like most people who care about the movies still fascinated by her, and on top of that I don't think the definitive movie about her has yet been made. If such a thing can be made.

My Week With Marilyn was fine, Michelle Williams was very good, but that movie evaporated from my memory immediately after that year's Oscars. And I think Nicolas Roeg's Insignificance is a fascinating movie and Theresa Russell does a great job playing "the idea of Marilyn" but I wouldn't call that a definitive take either -- that movie's far too abstract and not really about her, not as a person, anyway. We'll have to see how much Dominik's film is legitimately about the woman then, as the trailer promises to be -- I gotta admit it is one hell of a trailer. Looks ravishing. 

Blonde comes out on September 28th. Thoughts?

Good Morning, World

It was just last week that Orlando Bloom got cast in the first interesting project his name's been attached to in I don't know how long -- I've been impressed by his ability to keep himself on my radar despite doing work that has not been, so I guess he finally turned that one kinda heat (aka the kind I am showing you right now) (via, thx Mac) into some actual career heat. Good for Orli! I never stopped liking him even if I didn't like him enough to suffer through that Carnival Row show. The project he got hired for I guess I should mention is Animal Kingdom director David Michod's new movie Wizards! with Franz Rogowski which you can read about here...

... we don't know anything about Bloom's character so I don't know if the reason he's so buffed out in these photos is for that role, or if that's for another role (he did just make what sounds like an action-thriller called Red Right Hand that co-stars Garret Dillahunt and Andie Macdowell). I guess we will find out eventually. For now let's just appreciate the buff (side question: is this too buff? Discuss in the comments!) at the beach this weekend, after the jump...

As Good As Dead

I don't know if you were privy to my inflamed reaction to the entire Justice League Snyder Cut bullshit debacle -- think I said more, or should I say "shrieked more," about it on twitter than I did here on the site proper. But I found the entire spectacle distasteful -- the fact that so much money got tossed at it on a poisonous flotilla of toxic fanboy behavior; the fact that a terrible film got turned into a four-hour terrible film; the fact that anyone with eyes and ears tried to say it was any better on the ass-end of the experience and not just hours and hours more shit. Anyway in my ever so humble opinion that was a gross experience for all parties involved! 

That said the devil help me I am definitely feeling myself suckered in to Mr. Snyder's next movie, the zombie-heist flick Army of the Dead. It recalls the good part of Snyder's career -- aka the start, with his Dawn of the Dead remake. And it's truly got a super cast. Who can argue with Dave Bautista? He's so goddamned likable. You add Hiroyuki Sanada, Garret Dillahunt, Matthias Schweighöfer, Raúl Castillo, Omari Hardwick (seen above, strapping it on), and a zombie tiger? A zombie tiger! And I am pretty sure I saw a horde of Chippendales dancer zombies at one point? I can't fight this, you guys. Here's the just-dropped trailer:

We'll find out soon anyway, since Army of the Dead is hitting Netflix in a little over a month on May 21st. That said this is definitely one I'm a little annoyed I won't be able to see on a big screen. Right? It is screaming out for a great big screen.

Pic of the Day

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Thanks to Raúl Castillo and his electric yellow pompadour for sharing this shot from the set of Zack Snyder's Army of the Dead movie, which has that chin-dimpled director-man returning to the zombie flick for the first time since his best film the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead. See our previous post on the new film right here -- it's a heist film set in Las Vegas during the Zombie Apocalypse, and it's got a delicious cast that also includes  Garret Dillahunt, Hiroyuki Sanada, Dave Bautista, and Matthias Schweighöfer. So it's basically Ocean's Arrrrrgh.

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Five Man Army

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You always know it's a good sign when I'm not sure which member of a cast to google first for pictures to accompany a new film announcement -- I went with Raul Castillo (once I realized I hadn't posted the above photo when I'd posted the rest of its sweltering sexy photoshoot) but Zack Snyder's new movie also gave me the option of the great Garret Dillahunt, the classic Hiroyuki Sanada, the brick shithouse of Dave Bautista, the much-loved-from-afar German Twunk Matthias Schweighöfer.

My goodness and gracious. I know I know, I said "Zack Snyder," we all collectively shudder a bit. But once upon a time Zack Snyder made some fun movies -- I was with him longer than most sane folks, up through Sucker Punch even, or at least some of it; it was the superheroes that truly did him in. And yes I agree his Ayn Rand thing is a horror. But this new flick, besides this cast, is returning him to his roots -- it's a zombie flick a la his Dawn of the Dead remake, called Army of the Dead, which... okay let's retire the "of the Dead" titles in honor to George Romero. Those were his. But this sounds like a fun idea -- it's a heist movie set in a post-zombie-apocalypse Las Vegas. Come on! That sounds fun! Also there's this guy...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Walter: I think if we are kind,
it will be a kind world.

Oh if only, dude. I couldn't even be kind to the movie this was said in (what dreck) unfortunately. But hey we should all certainly make out with our clones - that much I can get behind. Anyway happy birthday, Michael Fassbender!

There he is with some fan, apparently (via) - these sorts of pics are the only way we can see him these days (specifically half naked on boats with dudes) since he seems to be taking some time off, post-wedding... to be Mr. Vikander I guess; he did make the rounds supporting his wife's Tomb Raider flop.

I still find it awfully strange that he's not in Steve McQueen's film Widows, don't y'all? Roles for all sorts of white boys like Colin Farrell and Garret Dillahunt and Jon fuckin' Bernthal, but nothing for your good luck charm, Steve? Hrm. Come back to us soon, Fassy. Hit the jump for a few never-before-posted pictures I scrounged up...

I Am Link

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--- Call Him Storm Man - Jai Courtney, fresh of flashing his Nazi bits in The Exception, has just signed on to co-star in a remake of the 1976 Aussie classic family film Storm Boy, which must be a classic in Australia and Australia alone because I've literally never heard of it. (And I know everything, of course.) It's about an old man (played in this remake by Geoffrey Rush) telling his grand-daughter of his youthful adventures along a remote coast where his father (Courtney) scurried them away after tragedy. Anyone seen the original?

--- Behind The Chocolate Factory - A movie is being made about my beloved Roald Dahl, and honestly I have mixed feelings about that, because Dahl was a noted asshole, and I don't know if I need to actually see his assholery put up on screen. Especially as it relates to how horrible he was to his actress-wife Patricia Neal, which is what the movie's centering on. Downton Abbey's Hugh Bonneville is set to play Dahl; nobody's been cast as Neal yet. They are also casting someone to play Neal's co-star in Hud, somebody named Paul Newman. ha good luck with that!

--- Deep In Dillahunt - This news is a little bit on the old side but we have to express our enthusiasm about it - the great hunky character actor Garett Dillahunt joined the cast of Steve McQueen's upcoming Widows movie! They worked together before on 12 Years a Slave. No word on who he's playing but I imagine the character will be shifty, since Garett does shifty so well.The movie stars Viola Davis and Colin Farrell and Liam Neeson and Elizabeth Debicki and oh my god give it to me right now.

--- Stranger By The Day - The sequel to The Strangers, cleverly titled The Strangers 2, is set to start filming next month with nobody who had anything to do with the original film involved at all, which seems wise. I mean actor-wise I understand why, but I wish Bryan Bertino was coming back to direct. Instead directing is  Johannes Roberts, whose "Mandy Moore versus a shark" movie is out next month. The one definitely positive bit of news is the film will star the terrific and under-used Christina Hendricks; with this and that Brian De Palma thriller we just told you about she's got a big year next year!

--- Twin Zest - I need to stop getting worked up about actors being doubled, via CG or twinned storytelling devices, because the only time anybody's ever used the technology the right way was that Funny or Die video where Dave Franco topped himself. Ewan McGregor's cannot currently be seen touching himself on Fargo; Jake Gyllenhaal didn't bang Jake Gyllenhaal in Enemy; Tom Hardy never sat on Tom Hardy's face in Legend. What a waste. Anyway beautiful Boyd Holbrook is going to star in Two/One, which is about two men who live when the other one sleeps, dreaming the life of the other, and "what would happen if they met." I doubt it will involve face fucking so who cares.

--- Black Lesbian Boo - Now this is the world I want to live in - Jason Blum, the currently very hot horror producer of Blumhouse (which has made everything from the Paranormal Activity and Insidious movies up through this year's big success story Get Out) has teamed up with dramatic indie darling director Dee Rees (she directed Pariah and the upcoming film Mudbound, which was a critical hit at Sundance) to make, as they describe it, a horror film "centered on the domestic lives of black lesbians in rural America." Apparently the two of them met at an event and hit it off - turns out she's a big horror fan and had this idea and he's letting her run with it. And this is how great horror movies come to be, people. Take some chances on unexpected stories.

--- Humming For Alex - I'm always excited to see Alexander Skarsgard sign up to do a new project and willing to share the info, but the only thing grabbing me about this new movie called The Hummingbird Project, which will star Alex and Jesse Eisenberg as "cousins who hope to make millions from a fiber-optic cable straight between Kansas and New Jersey" (sounds riveting!) is that they describe their two characters as " one the hustler, the other the brains" and GOSH I wonder who's playing which?

--- And Finally if I disappear for the next couple of hours you now know where I will be - EW published an Oral History of John Waters' film Serial Mom earlier this week that I am just now seeing (thx Mac) and clearly, clearly, I must go read it immediately. This is in celebration of that blu-ray that just got released this week, which we told you about. Pussywillows!

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Pics of the Day

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The great Garret Dillahunt, whose praises we've sung whenever we've been given the opportunity, has taken to his Instagram over the past couple of weeks to share some behind-the-scenes pictures from the 2007 set of the Coen Bros masterpiece No Country For Old Men (is that movie really turning 10 this year? Good grief) and how could we not share the above big beefy shot of Javier Bardem flashing his bum? Bruised or not you don't skip the Bardem Bum. Right, Josh Brolin? (He says right.)

Who Wore It Best?

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#we'rewithher pic.twitter.com/HFhCI2ZbIk

— Matt Bomer (@MattBomer) November 8, 2016

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Admittedly kind of an odd four-way, but it's not a four-way I'd say no to! If you want to see more pictures of beautiful famous people exercising their rights to be both beautiful and citizens, click over to The Film Experience where Nat gathered a nice lil' gallery today.
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Justified (2010)

Ty: This is bullshit! You shot me in the back! 

Raylan: If you wanted me to shoot you in the front, 

you shoulda run towards me. 

 Happy 51 to Garret Dillahunt today!

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Who's Laughing Now

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I spoke too soon last week when I posted about the rumors that Garret Dillahunt would be playing next season's big bad on The Walking Dead -- Dillahunt's out (if he was ever in) and Jeffrey Dean Morgan is our man, bad bad man, baby. You can read about it at that link, I won't get into spoilers here, but they are still filming the currently airing season so... who knows when we might see him show up? Anyway I've dug Dean Morgan since he rocked The Comedian's face off in the Watchmen movie; he maintained my interest by getting naked on that show with the other half-naked hot dude (I'm too lazy to look up its name... Magic City! That's it). And now this... Jared Padalecki approves!

I Can Bleed Your Hero, Baby

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Rumors are swirling -- egged on by the man himself on Instagram -- that Garret Dillahunt's about to join The Walking Dead as a bad guy well known to comic readers. I myself stopped reading The Walking Dead comics a long while back but I'm spoiled enough that I know who the character is, but even with that knowledge all I care is this -- GIVE ME DILLAHUNT OR GIVE ME DEATH. He'll up the acting talent and watchability on this show exponentially. (thx Mac)

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Riding In Cars With Boys

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Several weeks ago I whined that even though two of my many many pretend-boyfriends, Garret Dillahunt and Julian Morris, were co-starring on a show together -- Amazon's series called Hand of God -- they hadn't posed for any good pictures with each other... well this is a good start, so thanks Garett. And now that we've got the ball rolling, feel free to take your shirts off next time. I know neither of you boys (example one, example two) are shy...

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Good Morning, Garret

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I'm really depressed that Garret Dillahunt shaved off his beard, you guys. He posted that shot on Instagram on Tuesday, saying "Beardless at last! Gird your loins, Nashville. And Jesus my hands are like paws." Listen Garret, I have gigantic hands myself, and I know what we're talking about when we talk about having big hands. You can't fool me. Anyway the bright side to this beautiful beard murder is this led me to discover some scene of Garret skin in a 2014 movie called The Scribbler that I'd never seen before (bonus, he's still bearded) so if you wanna hit the jump I'll share that...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... kissing Garret Dillahunt's boo-boo.

Garret posted that shot on his Instagram of what looks like a heel-print on his side buttocks, saying it's an injury sustained on the set of his series Hand of God. Yes, that's the same show he's on with Julian Morris (see them together here). Naturally I'm off concocting an elaborate pain pleasure game between the two now, so here are more selfies of his whilst I entertain thoughts... 

I actually watched a movie co-starring Garett last night that totally slipped my mind until two minutes ago - it's called Burning Bright and it's about a tiger stalking Briana Evigan inside her house during a hurricane (Garett plays her step-father) and it was quite literally a rotting pile of smelly garbage so I'll do Garett a favor and not talk about it. I'm feeling generous since he's been so Instagram generous. I shut up easy! Just flash your ass and I'll shut right up.
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... keeping rhythm with Garret Dillahunt.

The most exciting thing about this isn't just the fact that its sexypants Garret getting his funk on -- no, it's the fact that it's sexypants Julian Morris taking the video of sexypants Garret's funk and then posting it to Instagram. Knowing that Garret's dancing for Julian makes it all about a thousand percent hotter. That's science.

I wish there was a good picture of Julian and Garret together but I guess we'll have to wait for more of Hand of God, the Amazon series they're both on with Ron Perlman, to show up. Until then this will just have to do...

Garret Dillahunt Three Times

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A quick check of Garret's Instagram account lets me know 

he's currently rocking a very fine facial pelt - very fine indeed.

Jingle Your Hollies, Jingle Your Jollies

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Alrighty folks I'm wassailing off for the next twelve or so days - it'll be 2015 when we reopen the blog for business (unless something like Tom Hardy streaking down Madison Avenue happens, in which case we'll probably show back up and post those pictures, because duh) so everybody have a Merry Whatever and a wonderful New Years. 

And if you're feeling especially Kringle-ish this festive season don't forget -- there's a donation button over in the right-hand column there; we work hard (and we play hard) on MNPP and while we're normally loathe to clang the donation-bell hell, tis the season! Or you can just buy something on Amazon for yourself thru this link (also the search-bar in the right-hand column), since that little percentage fills our stockings with joy (in the form of cold hard cash, the second best joy there is), as well. 

Ho ho, everybody!

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Good Morning, World

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A happy 50th birthday to the wonderful and underrated Garrett Dillahunt today! He's been working since the 90s but it wasn't until the remake of The Last House on the Left that I recognized his offbeat sex appeal - figures it took a monstrous pervert slash sadist to get me over that hump; I'm nothing if not erotically predictable. He went on to mount DILF antics of a more comedic bent on the "well liked by smart people" sitcom Raising Hope, which is what the above gif's from; lately he can be seen on Justified. Or you can follow him on Instagram, where he can be seen as of late to have grown a gigantic beard, and being muscly. Happy 50, GH!

Good Morning, World

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I would've missed yesterday being the centennial of Tyrone Power's birth if it hadn't been for The Film Experience pointing it out, and shame on me for it. I've still only seen a couple of Tyrone's films, but he's great - I totally get what Barbara Cartland meant when she said, "We didn't need sex, we had Tyrone Power."

Indeed. Nat mentions that Zac Efron could play him in a bio-pic - I can see that, but I also see a lot of Garrett Dillahunt - am I nuts?

Maybe they could play young and old. Anyway I posted a couple of pictures (a one and a two) over at the Tumblr yesterday, and we've done gratuitous posts for him (a one and a two) before, but there's still plenty to be had so hit the jump for over forty more pictures.