Good Morning, World

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Happy Monday morning, fellow Plague survivors -- yes it's true I finally plowed through the remainder of the 1994 miniseries version of The Stand yesterday (as mentioned previously) and yes, it remained terrible through the end. Although the heightened tone of the last half did at least swerve into total camp at times...

QUARANTINE DAY 114 pic.twitter.com/h2z2QPmHax

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) July 5, 2020

... and that helped soften the fall a little. A little. I've still got my fingers toes and such crossed that the new adaptation with Alexander Skarsgard and James Marsden (supposedly) out this fall will right every wrong, aka every thing. Well perhaps I'm harsh -- I didn't mind seeing 1994 Rob Lowe stripped down for absolutely no reason whatsoever, although 1994 Rob Lowe is, uhh...

... not how I pictured the character of Nick Andros in the book. I'm not familiar with the actor Henry Zaga who's playing Nick in the 2020 version; he was on the shows Teen Wolf, 13 Reasons Why, and Looking For Alaska (with Charlie Plummer), none of which I watched. Anybody seen him act? Until we do let's just hit the jump and revel in the 1994 Rob Lowe of it...
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James Marsden One Time

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I mentioned this last week but in anticipation of the new miniseries (which stars James Marsden and Alexander Skarsgård, among many) I just finished re-reading Stephen King's plague book The Stand for the first time in a couple of decades, and since finishing it I've been trying to re-watch the 1994 mini-series... but man oh man is it terrible, you guys. Just terrible. 

I'm about 50 minutes into the 1994 miniseries of The Stand and it's RIDICULOUSLY BAD so far, even worse than I remember, and I remember it being bad pic.twitter.com/kW4Rnb6vnd

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) June 25, 2020

Unspeakably bad! I think I've made it about three hours in now and I have somewhat given up -- we'll see if I manage to make it any further. It's ruining all of my enjoyment from reading the book at this point though! And there are more important things to watch right now -- I just finally started Dark on Netflix last night, for instance. Anyway either way I'm looking forward to the miniseries later this year which will hopefully improve upon Mick Garris' train-wreck -- I don't see how it could be worse! Yadda yadda Vanity Fair has a brand new chat with Jimmy Marsden up today (which includes that picture up top) and all he has to say about The Stand in it is about its place against the current real world situation with COVID:

"I know that the filmmakers want to handle it with the utmost respect for the situation. Obviously, there's been a lot of life lost through all of this. I hope somehow it resonates in a positive way and not in a reckless way.”

11 Off My Head: RIP Joel Schumacher

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Joel Schumacher, the oft critically reviled director who slapped nipples on the Batman suit and probably did enough blow in the 1970s with his pal Halston to keep every drug dealer in the continental United States flush for a lifetime, has died at the age of 80. Honestly I kinda loved Joel, even though his movies often deserved their shit rep. I briefly met him at a party once and he was very nice! (But then I was 20 years old and, judging by his interest, probably his type.) Anyway I considered doing a list of my five favorite films of his -- and I could, because critically reviled or not he made some terrific movies (and yes, as I just recently mentioned I include Batman & Robin on that list of terrific movies.) But my first and best thought was of the most important gift he gifted us with, which was an obscene amount of cinematic male beauty over the years. Just astonishing amounts. Bless him.

11 of My Favorite Joel Schumacher Gratuities

Henry Cavill in Blood Creek

Jason Patric in The Lost Boys (more here)

Chris O'Donnell in Batman & Robin 

Colin Farrell in Tigerland (more here)

Matthew Davis in Tigerland (more here)

Rob Lowe in St Elmo's Fire

Billy Baldwin in Flatliners

Patrick Wilson in Phantom of the Opera

Cam Gigandet in Trespass

Billy Magnussen in Twelve (See more here)

Matthew McConaughey in A Time To Kill
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What are thoughts on Joel Schumacher?

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Good Morning, World

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There is probably very little reason to remember the 1988 erotic-thriller Masquerade that starred Rob Lowe, Meg Tilly, Kim Catrall and Doug Savant here, besides the fact that that might be the most 1988 cast ever typed. (Sidenote: I always forget Kim Catrall did a lot of movies in the 80s -- I re-watched the first Police Academy movie last week on Netflix, for The Gute natch, and there she was!) And yet here I am remembering Masquerade. As it turns out...

... there are a couple of reasons to remember the movie, and they are (unsurprisingly, given the person typing these words you are reading) Rob Lowe and Doug Savant. Lowe in the 80s is a given (and I've posted a couple of shots of him in this movie here & here) but Savant, Savant I only really knew as the homosexual Matt Fielding on Melrose Place, and I spent the entire run of that show wishing another actor had been given the gay role. (Also that they'd had a clue what to do with a gay, which they never did.) But now...

... looking back at Doug strutting around in his tighty-whities as Rob Lowe watches with, it must be said, a great deal of interest, well now I think I shall entirely blame the people making Melrose Place for not knowing what to do with Doug Savant. Because he clearly could've brought something if he'd been allowed to. See more of that something right on after the jump...

Good Morning, World

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I never did get around to seeing the 2011 film I Melt With You even though I did know that it supposedly features a lot of homoerotic bonding between Thomas Jane and Rob Lowe, as documented in this post here. Did any of you ever bother? I am reminded because Mr. Jane shared the above set photograph on his Instagram today, and that's the kinda thing that jogs one's memory. And speaking of jogging...

... the entire movie is streaming on Tubi for free and I clicked onto a random place in the film and I just happened to land right square in the center of the beach-jogging and stripping and skinny-dipping scene, because I have superpowers apparently, and this is my superpower -- I can find ass faster than a speeding bullet.  (It's around the 21 minute mark if you'd like to watch it yourself.)

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Teen Witch (1989)

Polly: Well, the price of fame and fortune 

is to be envied, then copied, and finally discarded.

Louise: Says who?

Polly: I read it some place! Probably Rob Lowe.

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Good Morning, World

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We take Bill Paxton for granted, you guys. I've seen a lot of Bill lately thanks to "Alien Day" and the 20th anniversary of Twister and while he works steadily and probably always will I feel like he deserves more from us. More credit. There was a brief window of time with Big Love where he was getting it, I guess...

... but I just want more for Bill Paxton. It's his 61st birthday today and he's not gonna be around forever, you guys. Let's all agree to be better to Bill. He's a treasure. A national goddamned treasure. (I mean, for the homoeroticsm of Near Dark alone!) 

Anyway these pictures are from a 1995 movie called Frank & Jesse about the James Boys (Bill played Frank and Rob Lowe, who you'll see below, played Jesse) - hit the jump or the rest...

Penny For Your Pants, Josh Hartnett

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While we sit around sewing little voodoo dolls to perform magicks rituals with and make the next season of Penny Dreadful get here faster, Josh Hartnett's off lining up a movie gig -- he's going to star in 6 Below, the true story of a hockey player and snowboarder who got stuck in the frozen wilderness for eight days while simultaneously battling drug addiction.

Sounds to me like he will be wearing a lot of clothing? Maybe they should re-work the story and move it to a really hot place? Where he can wear a speedo the whole time? (Or maybe he can be the sort of hockey player that Rob Lowe was in Youngblood?) And instead of "battling drug addiction" how about... he's a sexy bartender? Just make Cocktail 2 is what I am saying, Josh Hartnett.

But back to Penny Dreadful...

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... there's the latest trailer! Actually it's kind of the first trailer, proper, since I think everything before this has been teaser-y and this has lots of actual honest-to-evil footage from what's to come. And man it looks (typically) gorgeous and scary and wonderful. The show returns on May 1st! 

And in other Josh news back in November we posted some very fine pictures of him for the clothing brand Marc O Polo; well a new batch of images from the Bruce Weber shot campaign have been released recently and man oh man he looks (typically) gorgeous. Hit the jump for thirteen more...

Good Morning, Soda Pop

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It's Francis Ford Coppola's 76th birthday today, and what better way to celebrate than by posting a few gifs from his 1986 homosexual epic The Outsiders? We'll focus in on Rob Lowe and that shower scene because of course we will focus in on Rob Lowe and that shower scene. 

What's your favorite Coppola movie? If I'd asked for "Best" the only correct answers are either "The Godfather" or "The Conversation" (either is acceptable) but I asked for Favorite so the clear winner is "Bram Stoker's Dracula." Anyway hit the jump for more Soda Pop...

Today's Mood

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Andy Dwyer represents my mood more often than not.

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I Am Link

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--- Snowed In - Before you read anything else today if you haven't read the interview with the actress who played Snow White in that infamous Oscars skit with Rob Lowe in 1989, go read it, it is amazing. AMAZING. I wish it were twenty times longer. It made me run out and buy the biography of the producer of that year's show Allan Carr at lightning speed. Oh and you can watch that infamous Snow White skit at this link if you've never seen it. I watched it last night for maybe the first time (I can't remember what year I started watching the Oscars so I might have seen it live) and no wonder Rob Lowe went into that downward spiral of drugs and underage girls after it. I almost ordered up some blow and headed to Thailand myself just watching it.

--- Les Hobbit - I'm glad that Nat posted this at TFE too so I don't have to link to his Facebook where he'd posted it earlier - this dude singing "I Dreamed A Dream" from Les Mis as Gollum is the best thing on the internet right now. Well second best after that Snow White thing.

--- Colorful Interference - Over at Stale Popcorn Glenn's taking a look at a whole bunch of recent movie posters and their respective worths; I'd been meaning to say what he says about digging the Trance poster - it's been getting a lot of shit online but I think it's killer.

--- Puppy Love - I love Evan Dorkin's Beasts of Burden stories (about a bunch of dogs and a cat that investigate paranormal activities in their small town; they're much darker than you anticipate based off that description) so I've been wanting to hear more about the long-gestating movie adaptation - now there's word that the dude that made that totally forgotten by me animated film 9 has hopped on-board to direct. Since I never saw 9 I cannot say.

--- Jesse Unchained - I haven't found the chance to read this yet but I've been totally meaning to - Jesse Williams, the very handsome young actor we've gratuitized round these parts several times, has some words (a lot of them!) on Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained. I have no idea what they are, pro or con, as I haven't read it yet. But they are words (a lot of them).

--- Juli Always - Also on my To Read list, here's an interview with Greatest Living Actress Juliette Binoche at The Playlist. Apparently she talks about Michael Haneke and Leos Carax, amongst others, says the headline.

--- Law Man - Taylor Kitsch is reduced to playing a sheriff in a serial killer movie - never the sign of a career high, that. It's from a script by the guy who wrote Pandorum (ergh) but it's directed by the guy who made my favorite part of the Red Riding trilogy (the part with Andrew Garfield).

--- Crazy Pants - Shia LaBeouf has lost his damned mind (uh, that's assuming there was some sanity there to begin with, which is becoming to be the real question) and naturally this means that I like him more right now than I ever have before. Tear it down, Shia!

--- Alphabet Wallis - Speaking of semi-endearing assholes, have you read this mystery dude director's reasoning behind his Oscar ballot at THR? There are several hysterical assholish quotes that are cannot miss. I read somewhere that people think it might be William Friedkin, which I could totally see.

--- Best Teacher - This is already twenty times better than the movie - super-funny and talented Ari "Balls deep!" Graynor is going to star in the TV adaptation of Bad Teacher, that Cameron Diaz says the word "fuck" a lot movie. Although I will miss the sight of Justin Timberlake dry-humping in jeans. That was a keeper.

--- Hair Ball - The latest new picture from The Wolverine doesn't have a single nipple in it - what am I supposed to do with this shit? Get back to me when you've got something for me, Hugh Jackman. And by "something" I mean... well several things would do.

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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Wayne's World (1992)

Cassandra: I don't believe
I've ever had French champagne before...

Benjamin: Oh, actually all champagne is French; 

it's named after the region. Otherwise it's sparkling white wine. 

Americans of course don't recognize the convention,
so it becomes that thing of calling all
of their sparkling white "champagne", 

even though by definition they're not. 

Wayne: Ah yes, it's a lot like Star Trek: The Next Generation. 

In many ways it's superior
but will never be as recognized as the original. 

A happy 46 to Tia Carrere!

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An Excuse To Post A Cheyenne Pic, Hooray

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Cheyenne Jackson, along with Rob Lowe and some cute blond thing named Boyd Holbrook, have joined the cast (or are about to join, whatever) of Steven Soderbergh's Liberace bio-pic for HBO called Behind the Candelabra (and I will never ever stop laughing at that amazing amazing title). 

Michael Douglas has long been attached to plays Libs, and Matt Damon as his boyfriend. No word on who Cheyenne or Rob will be playing, but this Holbrook fellow is "one of Liberace's young lovers." 

Um eww, can't he be one of Cheyenne's young lovers? Why can't we ever get two attractive guys in these things? James Franco with Sean Penn, Daniel Craig with Derek Jacobi, Garrett Hedlund with Steve Buscemi - goddamnit.

Anyway while I was looking up a picture of Cheyenne for this post I found this picture, and it really is all there is to be said, in all the world, about every subject, amen.

TGT11: Great Gratuities of 2011, Runners-Up

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The time has come for the best naked menfolk of the year, according to me. Keep in mind this list (as all of these lists, of course) is highly subjective - although I think a lot of you are here because you find attractive the same gentlemen I tend to find attractive, the logic to the way I had to come up with to organize these guys, from top to bottom (and front to side, and every which way), probably will only make sense to me in the end. So it shall be.

But first up, the also-rans. These are the ones that I managed to remember but missed out on my top twenty. They're all prime obviously, but for the most part they just didn't give up enough this time around to qualify. Sorry, dudes. Please, do better next time! I like it when you try.

As an aside, I've been adding names to this all week so I'm sure there are people I haven't thought of, that slipped my mind, I am only one man and even my encyclopedic knowledge of cinematic bo-hunkery has its limits. And if they slipped my mind at this point I say they must have not done good enough in the first place! So, the runners-up be...

Chris Hemsworth, Thor

Chris Carmack, Shark Night (more here)

Bobby Cannavale, Win Win (more here)

Aaron Johnson, Albert Nobbs (more here)

Dustin Milligan, Shark Night (more here)

Taylor Lautner, Abduction (more here)

Hugh Jackman, Real Steel

Stephen Dorff, Immortals

James Franco, Your Highness

Thomas Jane and Rob Lowe, I Melt With You (more here)

Jon Hamm, Bridesmaids

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poll by twiigs.com

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Coming later --- The Top 20!
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