Granny's Howse

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: yes: we playd Milton Keynes (not eevn a reel teem, that wun) an got a not-a-looz, but then they won on penolties. An that, well that's jus cheetin.
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10
• Day Score: 8 ish/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

So whare waz I? Oh yes.... the day arfter Crismoss Day. In the UK we call this Boxing Day. I'm not shor wy. Sum peepol think it's becos in The Olden Days, wen evrythin waz in blak-an-wite, all the servants ov all the posh peepol had to werk for them on Crismoss Day, but on the next day they wer given boxes ov stuff. In the boxes wer things like bits ov cayke that the posh peepol had left over. Well that's wun theery. There ar others, but I carnt member them at the mo. Duzzent matter. On Boxing day we wer all at Granny's howse, no matter wy it waz calld that.

Mummy waz worn owt an had a good nap wiv Fluffy....

Wen Fluffy woke up, Dilly got re-akwaintid wiv her.

This is Merge. Heez an enormuss Bear hoo livs at Granny's howse. Heer he is trying owt the massardge chair.

We desydid to form a kew but Merge seemd to be enjoyin it alot.... ...so in the end we all jumpt on.

Dilly an the Sheerness Dragons (ov hoom I'm shor there ar far too menny- this is just a few ov them!) got together to watch a film calld "Dragonheart"......

She also went to a playse calld Rochester, an sor the Carsol. Sheez goin to put that trip on her own blog, but heer's wun pikcher from the trip that I don't think sheel post, so I've nikt it-

It's a shop windo! I wish I'd gon wiv them, cos this playse looks grayte!

Heheee! Bye fer now!

Cleenin up

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no, an weer gettin seeriosly low on cow-joose. Daddy even sneekt the UHT stuff in Mummy's tea, so that he'll hav enuff ov the reel stuff left fer his brekfast in the mornin.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: too bizzy /10
• Day Score: 6.8/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

WOW I dident get to log on yestaday at all.
Yewgzerly Mummy logs me on an then leeves me to it. But she had wun ov her sleepy days.

Weer not shor wy she haz theez. Akchewly, she did manage to stay awake fer 3 hours, wich issent bad. But dewrin that tyme she desydid that it waz a Cleenin Day an so washt the floor behind the uven wher the mowse livs. (Now it all smells like Lavender flavour Dettol, so I hope the mowse is gerly, or we mite hav a mowse riot on our hands.)

Enyway, all that moppin wor her owt agen an finisht her fer the day. It waz then down to The Bear to soopervize. So wile she waz doin this-

I took over the dustin. I wrap the duster rownd me bum an go wheeeeeeeeeee! It's grayte fun!-
An Dilly helpt Daddy vacewm. Dilly lykes doin this cos she thinks that the vacewm is a dragon that livs in the cayve under the stairs. So she lykes to ryde along on its bak. Never mind. It gets her to help, so I'm not sayin enythin.Dewrin the vacewmin, they nokt over our biggest pot plarnt, George, hoo has now had to hav a nayme change to "Twiggy". This proovs that eevn indors, Bears mayke betta navigaytors than croco-wagons.

Bye fer now!

Her nayme's not on the list, an she issent coming in. So there.

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: restin
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7.862/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Arfter yestaday's blog abowt the Thunder Shelter, I reseevd sum messidges from peepol very worried abowt Dilly (onnistly, yu lot!) becos she wassent seen in the photo's.

Well there is a reeson for wy she wassent seen in the photo's.

She wassent in the Shelter.

An befor yu hurl biskit crums at me an say I'm not a gud bruver (wich I yam), let me tell yu sumthing aout her relativs: Dragons mayke the lightening.

It's troo. Dilly sed so. Wich I'll admit, duzzent reelly meen much, even wen yu can understand wat sheez sayin. But then I sor it in a book, too: the lightening is dragons flying abowt breathing fire.

An she issent even bothered enyway. In fact, wen we took to the Shelter, she was so un-scared, she just went shopping.

Dilly, off to the shops. Probly fer mor pink gerly stuff.

So there yu hav it. Feer not, I hav not abandond my littol sister. Even tho I dident wont a sister, I wontid a scarf.

Bye fer now!

St George's Day

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Today is St George's day, the patron saint of England.

Dilly, being a croco-dragon, is kwite taken with the story of St George. I was surprised to hear this, given the tradishonal fate of the green character in the story, till I discovered that in the vershon SHE read, St George hadn't FOUGHT the dragon, he TAUGHT it. St George is therefore patron saint of teaching dragons how to make fires, boil kettles, and make tea.

This will account fer how he came to be patron saint of England, too, as every English vein runs with 60% tea. (5% Marmite-on-toast, 2% steamed pudding & custard, 10% biscuits, 3% roast Sunday dinners, 5% fish & chips, 15% misc.)

Dilly's full nayme is Dilly St George, in onnor of the Dragon hoo was "taught" in the story (sigh....) an so to help her sellybrayte her speshol day we gave her a card and an English flag (red cross on white backgrownd):

She desided to make the flag into a cape an go gliding rownd the howse making engine noyzes wiv the theme from "The Dambusters" blaring out...

I caught a brief shot of this on video. Hope yu enjoy!

(If yu carnt see it here, try here.)

Bye fer now!

Interviewing Dilly

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: suspended- Grayum an the Windowsill Bear Familee are on strike, they say, till I "apologise" for pointing out how Grayum cheated./10
• Day Score: 8/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

As menshonned yestaday, Dilly finished inkewbaiting her Easter egg. I managed to interview her about it. She sez that a baby dwagon flew out of it, up the chimney and off to Waylia*. Hey ho! Here's the interview:

If yu carn't see it here, try here.

Hope yu all hav a good weekend. We're probly off to Granny's howse. See yu layter!

Bye fer now!

*I think that means Wales. Apparently Mummy dragons aren't that fussed abowt their offspring, an batch them off to Wales arfter too days, becos arfter that they get boring. Sum end up in Hungaria or Cornwallia, but most go to Waylia....

Marigolds Week 2 & Silly Bearded Twits

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10/10 -based on ONE attack only, on Mummy, cos Grayum is refusing to join in
• Day Score: 7.39/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

As promist larst week, I am here with an update on my marigolding. Here's how they were looking this eevnin:

I have 13 shoots. They've had a sprinkling of fresh water every day, an 2 tastes of my own speshol fertilizer. All seems to be going well. To compare with larst week's photo (which is basically just er, mud,) click here.

I'd hav posted this vital informayshun earlier, but we all went off to a Nature Reserve today, called Minsmere.

The jerney is a bit of a trial, becos it's in Suffolk. Now, Suffolk has a strange tradishun of painting its houses PINK. And yu remember about Dilly & pink????? Yep, that's right: obsessed. So evry time we drive past one she shouts out "PINK HOUSE!!!". It's loud enuff wen she's right next to yu shouting it down yor ear, but her long snout amplifies it by several times. I'm surprised I've got eny fur left on my ears at all.

Speaking of amplified booms, Mummy spotted a weird bird called a bittern. It duzzent churp or enything, it BOOMS. It hides in reedbeds an is very, very elusive. There aren't menny of them in the country, ownly about 20 of the booming boy wuns, so wen she spotted it arfter just a few minutes, lots of the old guys with beards, an huge cameras, hoo'd been sitting there fer hours (hehehehehe), got a teensy bit narked.

Wen the time came to come home, the people in charge were arsking all the men if they saw the bittern, but no one asked Mummy. She sed it was becos she didn't hav a big camera or a willy. But I didn't even no they had THOSE on display, an told her, nah, it was probably the lack of beard.

Here is a mercifully short film of Dilly looking at the birds. You'll hear her calling them wagon-birds. This is because they descended from dinosaurs which, she says, are wagons. (Sigh...)

(if you carn't see it here, try here.)

Obviously, you'll hav realised, her coming along with us today means that she has finished inkew-baiting her egg. More on that, tomorrow......

Bye fer now!

Dilly and the Dragon

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Hope yu enjoyed my short but to-the-point vid.

Dilly (of course) got in on the act, in the reptile house. Here, recorded for posterity, is her meeting with a chameleon (or "meelowagon"...) sigh........

Bye fer now!

To er is better than to or.

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no, so daddy had no proper milk for his Weetabix this morning so had to use mum's bottol of skimmed watery stuff, and then she watered down a carton of cream to make mor watery stuff for her tea. Yu see the lengths yu hav to go to wen yu don't take a bear to his favrit shop? Serves 'em right.
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9.5/10
• Day Score: 7/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

I was doing a Deep Think, which is sumthing that we Bears are rarther good at, about wot peepol call themselves. I mean about their jobs. Like, yu know wot a builder does cos it's in his job title- he builds. And a gardener gardens, an a teacher teaches, an a seller sells. Kwite a simpol system, really, but it works. But then sumwun must hav come along at some stage an sed, "Nah, this is too easy!" an startid changing it. Soldiers don't sold. That's silly. And neither do doctors doct. And even though I do a brillyant diary, I am most definitely NOT a diaryer. (Except for wen I eat too meny choklit peanuts.)

I mean, wot about an author? Wot's wrong wiv being a writer? That's easy fer anywun to understand. I don't know wot authing is. Dilly sez there are birds called auks. Do they write? If so, how do they hold the pen with webbed feet?

Me an Dilly write, in fact, we mark out our favrit programs in the TV guide each week. Mostly it's Bear and Dragon programmes, but Dilly is partial to CSI. And the Simpsons, obviously. In fact yu cud say we are loyal viewers.

The Artic Puffin: a friendly auk, but can he auth?

Bye fer now!

Magic Dragon alert!

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Dilly has found a Magic Dragon online. Yu can wotch it here: http://www.saynotocrack.com/index.php/2007/02/27/cool-dragon-illusion/

Mummy is trying to make wun. I'm not so shor- it gives me the willies.

Wot do yu think?

Bye fer now!

Catch-up... Christmas!

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Due to my hibernayshun I didn't get to send yu my Christmas pikchers. OK heer we go then. & I wasn't drunk, I was acting. Got it?

left: Xmas tree complete with Pato the Duck on top...

below: me and Dilly, navigating the trip to my Unkol's on Xmas Day

...gazing at the tree can get quite mesmerizing...

....Daddy's Xmas Guinness!... (Like the jeans an t-shirt? I got them in my Christmas sock!)

....Dilly thort the ribbon was a snake, attakt it, and lost.

(right) Dilly insisted that there wud hav been dragons at Bethlehem too.

(left) me an Grayum looking fer mor biskits...rats! They'd scoffed the lot!

Hope yu enjoyd them!

Bye fer now!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was very upset to find that my sister had tayken advantage of me and stolen in to leave silly dragon propaganda on my blog. Blog off! Yu stoopit croco-dragon. Get yor own blog!

I asked daddy to giv her a slap but he wouldn't. So I told him to mayke her sleep in the car but he still wouldn't. She did apolagize, but she still got away wiv it. Pah.

An... an... an.. by the way, jus coz I'm scared of thunder duzzent mean I'm not brayve. I'm a Bear! And bears DO brayve. If yu were never scared yu wuddent need to be brayve, wud yu? An... an... an... how would yu know yu were brayve if yu were never scared? See? Ner. Stick that in yor silly dragon snout an smoke over it.

DILLY TAKES OVER

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: STOOPIT FUTBALL
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: yes SO WHAT?
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: SILLY BEAR NONSENSE
• Day Score: 2/10

NE HEEEE!

BOB HIDING.

THUNDER AND LIGHTENING- BOB NOT LIKE. SCARED. HIDING IN BED WITH SILLY HUG PANTS. HEHEHE. DILLY TAKE OVER BLOG. PWINT IN GWEEN. GWEEN BEST COLOUR.

WHAT THIS BLOG 'BOUT? SILLY BEAR NONSENSE. POO. SILLY SMELLY BEAR NONSENSE. BEARS STINK. LOTS BEARS IN DILLY'S HOUSE. NOT FAIR. BEARS MAKE HOUSE STINK POO. DILLY GIVE PEOPLE LUVLEY PICTURE OV WAGON FOR CHANGE. WAGON CALLED OSCAR SKINKERSON:

HEAR BOB COMING BACK-
BYEEE!!

Dragons, or, My Familee Part 3

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

My parronts hav been in heer looking at my blog an hav, in deyer infinit cheek, suggestid that I tell yu mor about my littol sister. Oh well, at least then yu'll no mor about wot I hav to put up wiv round heer. So heer goes.

Like lots ov littol sisters, Dilly is very into the following things: pink, carsols, princesses, pink, dresses, pink, kittens, frilly stuff, pink, Tommy Lee Jones and pink.

Wenever we awl go away, no matter where, if there iz a carsol within a 30 mile radius, we end up in it. Here is a momento ov our visit to Arundel:
and here is wun of a visit to a littol town near home:

yu get the idea.

Dilly likes dragons an sez that wen she grows up sheez goin to be wun. Lots of things are relatid to dragons, apparently. All lizards are dragons, obviously, as are dinosaurs, which are dinowagons. Birds, also, are dragons because they desended from dinowagons (apart from in some parts of America, where dey just appeared wun day wen God was getting bored wiv the walking things an decidid to try attaching wings). All dragons are nice, except for red dragons. Granny has a red dragon that sumwun brort home from Wales. The wun time Dilly got into trubbol badly woz at Granny's an she sed that it woz cos the red dragon had been a bad inflooence. So we now avoid red dragons. Her Tommy Lee Jones obsession comes from seeing Men In Black, in which, in Dilly's vershon at least, he fights the bad dragons and looks arfter the nice littol wuns.

She likes to dress up as a princess. Dis means pink. She tends to wear a lot ov ribbons (sigh).

Music-wise, she likes heavy metal. She sez this is dragon music. I don't think that's very princessy at all but I'm not allowed to tell her cos it 'winds her up' an sheez smoller dan me. Enyway she likes watching CSI becoz "Der Hoo" play the theme tune. Unfortunately she likes to sing along.

Well, other than the yewsual girly thing ov saying that awl boys smell WHICH DEY DON'T, I think that's all there is to say about Dilly. At least fer now. Right. Can I get on wiv my blog now pleez?

Bye fer now!

My Familee part 2

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: no
• Simpsons: yes
• Tesco: no, an we've still got that broken kettle
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 0/10 (fergot)
• Day Score: 5/10
• (there woz thunda. I hate that.)
  

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Well I'm sorry folks but it cannot be delayed eny longer. Heer she is, in all her green-ness (an on my hed), my sister, DILLY:

......>>>sigh<<<....

as yu can see she is wun big green dollop of larfs. She likes climbing things, yu see, dats the problem. An my hed jus happend to be there wen the climbing demon got her.

She also likes staulking things. Snakes, mostly. Well, anything that looks like a snake. Well, anything long and thin and curly. Good job we don't liv on a farm.

We're all off to the Isle Of Sheppey to stay wiv Granny fer the weekend. Granny's got LOADS ov bears. Grannys tend to, I've noticed. My cuzzin Henri lives dere. I'll try to get him to pose fer a pikchur fer yu all. (Shoodent be too difficult, bluddy french poseur.)

Till Monday then,

Bye fer now!

(click here to go to My Familee part 3)