Makin my Crismoss Cards

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: Yes, we got a nil-nil dror wiv Bradford. (That's a not-a-looz)
  
• Simpsons: YES!!! YES!! I akchewly sor The Simpsons! Woohoo!!
• Tesco: Sadly not. I think I mite hide Daddy's Weetabix, then weel hav to go. He carnt liv withowt Weetabix.
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 10 /10 -got Mummy in the bath. Hers, not mine, ov corse. Don't worry I cuverd my eyes. Enyway thare wer lots ov bubbles.
  
• Overall Score: 8ish/10

HULLO BEARS AN NOT-A-BEARS!!!

I deesydid to hav a paw at maykin my own Crismoss cards to send to my frends. Mummy gayve me a bit ov lino, wun ov the bits we bort in Lundon wen we met up wiv Beanie the uther month. I've never dun lino cuttin befor, hav yu? Heer is how yu do it-

Ferst yu dror a pikcher ov three hansum Bears.

Now, yu need to get this pikcher on the lino BAK-TO-FRONT so that it comes owt the rite way wen yu print it. So yu hav to scribble all over the pikcher wiv pencil, wich seems like sakrilidge, but fear not, gentle artist....

Then yu rub the pikcher onto the lino by tracing throo on the bak. Oh look! Thare's me, bak-to-front! Yu can tell, from my ears!
Then yu get a bluddy stupid blitherin thing speshol cutter and cut cut cut all the bits ov lino that won't be lines in yor pikcher. This is kwite hard.
This nex bit waz my fayvrit. Yu skwirt paint on sumthing smooth, then spred it owt wiv a rolly thing calld a brayer. I choze sum brown paynt. It waz like playin wiv meltid choklit.
Next yu yewz the brayer to roll sum paynt onto the lino, an gently put the lino down onto sum payper. Then yu get yor Mummy to peel the lino off gently, and... tah dah!!
He he he! Look! It's me, Sam an Blooberry!!!
Do yu think it's a good likeness? Weer the Three Wise Bears!
Then I choze lots ov diffrent cullerd paypers from Mummy's stash, an mayde all my masterpeeces pikchers into cards-I mayde 15. I carnt find eny envelopes to fit, so I shall hav to mayke thoze too.

As to hoo I send them to, well, if I sent yu wun larst yeer, I shud still hav yor address so I can send yu wun ov theez. If yu've never told me ware yu liv but wud like a card, emayle me yor address an I'll send yu wun!

TTFN!!!

OK to come owt now!

Weekend's scores:

• Gills: yes, we playd Hereford (Full nayme: Load ov Bull Town) an got a not-a-loos, 0-0.
  
• Simpsons: yes! At larst! I haddent seen them for yonks!
• Tesco: no, an Mummy sneekt off to Waytrose agen.
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: Duzzent cownt cos it waz dark in thare so they dident reelly get me. /10
• Overall Score:7.6645/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

I've bin away. Well not away, like, but I've bin in-dispozed. Well, in a cubberd. The airing cubberd, to be preecise. Utherwise noan as The Thunder Shelter.

Weev bin havin thunder an stuff, see. An an an I don't like that type ov thing. An nor do lots ov the uther Bears, so I took them wiv me.

It duzzent meen weer not brayve, bein scared- we AR brayve; WEER BEARS for goodness sayke, an yu don't get Bears that arnt brayve. That wud be like snaykes that arnt slithery or or or trees that arnt woody. No! If yor not scared ov sumthing, yu don't NEED to be brayve, do yu? See? So we can be BOTH scared AND brayve. Witch is wat we wer.

Corse, pants help.

The airing cubberd had been cleard owt the day befor, an all the cleen lorndry had been put away. So Me an Blooberry sneekt owt in between flashes ov lytenin to bring in mergency pant supplys. Lukkily Daddy's pant dror issent too far away. We endid up wiv such a pant pile, sum ov the lads ar still in thare! Teehee!!!!

How's the wether bin ware yu ar?

Bye fer now!

VICTORY FOR BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday's scores:

• Gills: No
• Simpsons: no
• Tesco: no
  
• Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: it shud hav been a 10 but Daddy sed it wassent reelly a nose hug. Pah! It waz TOO a nose hug. It mayde him jump, as well. /10
• Overall Score: 7.5/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!!!

Do yu remember my campayne agenst Charmin Toylet Payper????

Baysikly, I objektid to the way they embost pikchers ov Bears onto the tishoo, wich peepol then wiped thare bottoms wiv! This was terribly demeenin to my speesheez! How wud yu like it if peepol wiped thare bottoms on pikchers ov yor famly??

-I emayled the peepol that mayde it, rote to them , sent them a new deesine, got it menshund on BBC5 raydio, an eevn got a petishun at Downin Street abowt it!!!

Well, GESS WAT????

From this munth, the yuropean vershun ov Charmin is chaynging- it is now calld Cushelle, and........

IT HAS NO BEARS ON IT!!!!!!!!

HOOORAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

eevn better.....
IT HAS KOALAS ON IT!!!!!! -LOOK!!!!!

HEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHE!!! Now, we all kno, koalas ar not-a-bears. They ar just silly beak-nosed tree-huggers. Hahaha. Oh boy, I think this mite moov from bein a band produkt in my howsehold to beein a compulsory perchess! Wa-hey!

Blooberry, me, an Yeti-Bear, sellybraytin erlier today arfter our diskovery. Viktory is a dish werf waytin for. In fakt, it's like gettin owt yor choklit biskit, an not nibbling it till the keetol has boyled an Mummy haz mayde tea. Yu hav to wayte for it, but yu can dunk it, an that way it's eevn better.

Oh boy! I startid my campayne neerly 4 yeers ago! -It just goze to sho, if yu beleev in sumthing, never giv up! WA-HEYY!!!!!