My expertise on Jamaican reggae music is akin to Sarah Palin’s understanding of the American history or Chris Klein’s skills with not looking like an idiot. So naturally, I’m the most qualified person ever to discuss 1978 Rockers.
What prompted me to watch a film so far out of my comfort zone? None other than T.L. Bugg, aka Zach, aka the keeper of The Lightning Bug’s Lair. It’s time for our monthly movie swap and since summer is a’comin, we both went with a seasonal hot weather treat. I ordered Zach to queue up the far-better-than-it-looked-and-was-misadvertised-as-being little gem, A Perfect Getaway, a film that featured one of my favorite performances of the year (and yes, Timothy Olyphant gets brownie points for handsomeness but is an absolute joy in that film). Be sure to head Zach’s way for his review.
Now, let’s get dreaded!
Quick Plot: Horsemouth is a chillin’ drummer making money where he can, be that selling records to local shops or playing in a band at a ritzy hotel. His days get a little more motivated after his new motorbike is stolen, prompting an Operation Robin Hood to retrieve it from some greedy gangsters’ warehouse.
I’d love to give more detail on the storyline of Rockers, but that’s...pretty...much...it. Much like Wild Style, Rockers is far more about celebrating Jamaican culture than telling any sort of narrative. Sure, there’s the throughline of Horsemouth’s business, Pee-Wee-like quest to save his rather Pee-Wee-like bike, risque flirtation with a rich man’s pretty daughter and brazen attempt to play Santa Claus to his locals. But this action happens randomly in between musical breaks, all of which mosey along with a playful reggae beat.
Rockers isn’t a film I’d normally think to watch, but its energy is pretty darn likable. Sure, nothing really happens. At all. The main character shamelessly flirts with a pretty young thang while ignoring his (real-life) wife and kids, but the dude CAN drum.
High Points
A montage that demonstrates how a record is manufactured is weirdly entrancing, much like that brilliant crayon factory sketch on Sesame Street
Low Points
You know, the whole nothing-really-happening-at-all thing does have some negative effects
Lessons Learned
I must find ways to incorporate the phrase ‘Dread Out’ far more often in my daily life
White people can’t and really shouldn’t dance
It is possible to look good in a green lame three-piece suit. It’s possible, but not easy for mere mortals. Not easy at all...
Rent/Bury/Buy
The tensest moment of Rockers involves Horsemouth’s pal, Dirty Harry taking a DJ booth hostage and playing his own tunes. That says a lot about Rockers, a film that’s the epitome of style over substance and that style being reggae, reggae, and more reggae. It’s interesting on those lines as something truly different, and as a breezy Netflix stream, it can certainly entertain you. Don’t expect anything to actually happen, but pop it on for a lazy brains-off day.
As always, thanks to Zach for the recommendation. Rev up your motorbike and putter on over the The Lightning Bug's Lair for his Olyphantful thoughts on A Perfect Getaway!
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