We've Got a Fuzzbox and We're Gonna Use It – "The BBC Sessions 1986/1987" (Cherry Red – CDMRED 213) 2002

Without fail,the best moments in any bands history are the first things they do.

As a subscriber to the "First Thought Best Thought school of hard knocks",this quaint attempt at Folk-Art philosophy  should be carved on the stone tablets which emerged when the rock'n'roll Moses rose from the swamps with the Eleven Commandments of Rock clasped under his sweaty armpits.

Another rule scratched clumsily on these holy tablets is don't sign contracts with any entertainment industry conglomerate.

Sadly, "Fuzzbox"...as they came to be known after they signed a contract with an entertainment industry conglomerate..., didn't follow these simple rules,and rapidly became rubbish. Sadly not the first time this was to happen, mainly due to the vulgar pursuit of the mighty Dollah!.

Happily these girls were avid exponents of the "First Thought Best Thought"(or even better No thought No Thought!) process that pervades all great art,and were captured in their natural state,once again, by the BBC.As were The Slits a decade earlier. Nascent Fuzzbox were saved for posterity by the public service corporation of Great Britain,while Fuzzbox were still a new born phenomenon, and still called "We've Got a Fuzzbox and We're Gonna Use It".

I did type previously that all 21st century girl groups are shit in comparison.One was just paraphrasing/plagiarising a fellow blogger,honest guvn'r (Creepscanner)....strictly for shock effect mind.

The rather wonderful Wet Leg seem to be reviving the lost tradition of Girl groups who just wanna have a jolly good larf,and what are you gonna do about it? Hopefully they will curb the tide of dull post-hiphop nonsense that make up the majority of nominees for the joyless Mercury Music Prize 2022.You know what I mean,the Rap Singers.You've seen 'em on the Top Of The Pops..they used to go on there,you've seen 'em.The Rap singers.Y'know,The Rappers,Rap singers.Round the back of the multistory,...The Rap Singers.......

The tracks in these BBC sessions are frozen moments in time when these 2 minute symphonies were in their raw primal state,like Lionesses prowling the monochrome Savannah lands of Birmingham(UK).....dyed Pink of course.

Peel Session-Tracks 1 to 4: ℗ 1986 BBC. First transmitted 10/3/86
Janice Long Session-Tracks 5 to 9: ℗ 1986 BBC. First transmitted 10/4/86
Peel Session-Tracks 10 to 14: ℗ 1986 BBC. First transmitted 11/8/86
Janice Long Session-Tracks 15 to 18: ℗ 1987 BBC. First transmitted 12/1/87

Tracklist:

1 Aaarrrrggghhh!!! 2:23
2 Fever 2:25
3 Rules & Regulations 2:51
4 Justine 2:09
5 Aaarrrrggghhh!!! 2:25
6 Love Is The Slug 2:16
7 Hollow Girl 3:18
8 Console Me 1:33
9 Spirit In The Sky 3:03
10 You Got Me 3:43
11 Preconceptions 2:32
12 Jackie 2:35
13 She 4:02
14 Bohemian Rhapsody 5:18
15 Wait & See 2:11
16 Self 2:37
17 What's The Point 2:24
18 High Hopes 1:04

DOWNLOAD from the rich savannah lands of eighties pop HERE!

We've Got a Fuzzbox and We're Gonna Use it - "Bostin' Steve Austin" (Vindaloo Records – FBOX 1) 1986

Also on Robert Lloyd of The Nightingales fame's Vindaloo Records,and touring mates of Ted Chippington, were the snappily named 'We've Got a Fuzzbox and We're Gonna Use it' from the home of heavy metal, Birmingham England....... 

As the much missed Jerry Orbach once said....(Who?)...

"Maybe this isn't your cuppa, but I'll cop to my fetish for 80's ladies. Why did they just seem so much more fun? When did girls just become so dour? Just look at the photo and tell me when you see girls like this anymore. You don't. Then again, if you read this blog it's unlikely that you see any girls aside from your mom and porn. At the risk of sounding like a misogynist, there's tons of girl bands out there now that really wish they could be this good, but, unfortunately they are shit. To this day, I wonder what ever became of these ladies. It's my debilitating laziness that prevents me from typing the band into google and actually find out. Some things are better kept as memories."

Nowadays the only 80's ladies I come across (Phnaar Phanaar) are ladies IN their 80's rather than ladies FROM thee 80's....oh by the way, the guitary-one with the star-shaped shades died about a decade ago.....cancer.

Of course, it all went tits up when Closet Gaylord Geffen got wind of it....prized them from Vindaloo,and shortened their name to just..."Fuzzbox",and insisted on hit singles and the like.

Why are major record labels such eternally blocked toilets of pure shite? They observe something the public like then change it,and sell a crapper version of it back to them.

Tracklist:

A1 Love Is The Slug 3:06
A2 Wait And See 2:15
A3 Jackie 2:39
A4 Spirit In The Sky 3:05
A5 X X Sex 1:59
A6 Alive 2:17
B1 What's The Point 2:27
B2 You Got Me 3:35
B3 Hollow Girl 3:09
B4 Console Me 1:27
B5 Rules And Regulations 2:48
B6 Preconceptions 2:32

DOWNLOAD it HERE and stuff!

Ted Chippington – "Walking Down The Road (A History Of Ted Chippington)" (Big Print – WELLx3) 2007

"I was walking down the road the other day, mate of mine pulled up, in his car,and he said, "I'm in a dilemma mate" and I said, 'Aye, good motors, Dilemmas. I was thinking of buying one myself. A red one perhaps?"

A box set...you heard... A BOX SET!?.. of the Anti-Comedian's Anti-Comedian,Ted Chippington. Whose act consisted of but one joke,which invariably began with "I was walking down the Road...", a wanton act of minimalism intended to wind up the less savvy members of the audience, which for the most part were there mainly for whatever indie band he was usually supporting.He only had one joke, but a lot of the crowd never got it.Even realising that he was being deliberately Bad missed the point.The 'joke' was subtle in it's unsubtlety ,dare I say,even sophisticated?

Many were so offended by his inability to locate their funny bones that they threatened to break Chippington's. But for the cognoscenti who took him to their heart, that was precisely Chippington's appeal.
Word spread. The cult grew. Yet as fame, fortune and the big time beckoned, Chippington retreated from the stage.Especially after his notorious appearance on daytime TV,on the execrably awful Pebble Mill at One;which stands as a living example of why alternative culture should never be in the same room as the mainstream (I too flirted with an invitation to appear on Pebble Mill with my 'crazy' sculptures.....we turned it down...would have been on with Zola Budd,the bare footed athlete Lol!). He had, in his own words, become "too popular". Choosing, instead, to opt out;after the Vindaloo Records tour of the USA,he stayed and found work driving trucks along America's Pacific Highway, before returning to a life of peaceful, uneventful obscurity in the West Country.

Nowadays, he's back,and currently touring the UK as support for The Nightingales again!?

"I was walking down the road the other day, when this chap said to me.An Hippie chap like: "D'you want some LSD man?" I said: "No thanks mate, we've gone decimalised now. Pounds, shillings, pence - no use to me any more."

Tracklist:

Good Evening To All Mankind
1-1 Improvisation 0:06
1-2 Good Evening To All Mankind 18:21
1-3 Monthly Return To Cornwall 53:42

The Human Being Years
2-1 Salisbury 3:10
2-2 Southampton 12:30
2-3 London 5:43
2-4 Preston 6:33
2-5 Stonehenge 7:21
2-6 Non Stop Party Hits Of The 50's 60's & 70's Side 1 6:41
2-7 Non Stop Party Hits Of The 50's 60's & 70's Side 2 7:12
2-8 Liverpool 11:38

The Big Time
3-1 Man In A Suitcase Side 1 21:38
3-2 Man In A Suitcase Side 2 24:41
3-3 Times Gone By 3:59
3-4 Drivin' Down The Road 1:58
3-5 Remember It Well 12:34
3-6 Weirdness 5:58
The Real Truth About Trucking

4-1 Call Me Rockin' 1:28
4-2 The Real Truth About Trucking Sides 1 & 2 40:04
4-3 The Wanderer 2:45
4-4 The Xmas Hit/Tesco 19:50
4-5 Pull Up 5:14

I Was walking DOWN the LOAD HERE!

Ted Chippington – "Man In A Suitcase" (Vindaloo Records – YUS 6) 1986

"I was walking down the road the other day, this chap comes up to me; he says, "I've just got back from 'Nam." I said, "What d'you mean mate, Vietnam?" He says, "No, Chelt-'nam"

There used to be a TV series called the Man in a Suitcase,made by the same folks (ITC entertainment) who did The Champions,Department S,Randall and Hopkirk(deceased)and the like. Endless fun was had watching all this stuff the second time round in the afternoon TV schedules  when I made the fatal error of working from home in the eighties;which roughly translated, means watching TV all day with me mates.Luckily I was on benefits at the same time(illegal),and lived at home with me lovely mam and dad,may their souls rest in piece.

The same time period was fleshed out in the comedy department by 'Top Comedian' Ted Chippington,whose main aim in showbiz was to alienate the audience by being 'crap'.Frequently he found himself as the support act for such hip acts as the Fall and The Nightingales,whose Vindaloo label released Ted's records.Ted's thing was not to make audiences laugh but to get up their noses. Or, as he puts it himself: "To make the main band seem better."

With a deadpan drawl and the sort of punchline-less gags that would leave the average punter baffled (it doesn't take much). Invariably starting "I was walking down the road the other day...", Ted's jokes were anti-climatic nuggets of pathos, dressed up as surrealistic nonchalance.The kind of empty chit-chat you hear between persons of a certain age at the fruit and veg stall down the market.

"I was walking down the road the other day, this chap walked up to me and said 'Do you want to buy some grass, mate?' I said 'No thanks, mate, I've got crazy paving. Haven't got a garden, you see.'"

He was a refreshing change from those facking awful shouty shouty left wing "Alternative" comedian bastards of the time(yawn),like cheeky faux cockney jack the lad middle class champagne socialist Ben Elton,and the jokeless drama they called "The Young Ones".....we wanted an alternative to all that shouty Thatcher baiting boredom, and Ted provided it....at least until he went on the Vindaloo tour of America and never came back. I don't know how his routine went down in America....do any video's exist? The man himself explains: "I tried to make a career there," he explains. "The Americans were surprisingly responsive but it never really took off. It's such a big place. I stayed there til I couldn't afford it."

He's back now, and resurrecting his career...what career? Still on tour with The Nightingales....the best gig in any town is that one.

"I look forward to when I've got a car and I can drive down the road, so I won't get all these characters coming up to me."

Tracklist:

A1 Introduction
A2 Rock'n'Roll on 33
A3 Ready Eddie
A4 Life On The Road
A5 Rocking Ribbons
A6 Comedian By Trade
A7 She Loves You
A8 Interview
B1 Feel Like Buddy Holly
B2 True Greatness
B3 Atmosphere

B4 True Stories
B5 Rocking With Rita
B6 Weirdness Oh No
B7 BRMB
B8 Cheers

DOWNLOAD about here...roughly speaking