The Wilderness Children – "We're A Council House Punk Rock Band ,7"EP" and " Plastic Bag From Tescos 7", " (Doss Records – Reid 1/2) 1989

Purchased mainly for the titles and the DIY collage artwork, this Dundee combo's self-financed singles hint at the fact that so-called 'Indie' was more punk than punk,and certainly less laddy and less rocky,but haunted by the same problems. Most Indie and Punk bands would go on about being...ahem...independent,yet at the same time be signed to contracts with fake Indie labels set up by bastards such as EMI. The moment to take over completely was lost when  Maclaren and Rhodes failed to release Pistols and Clash Records themselves......they would have been millionaires,just as they always wanted to be. There was the 'Spunk' bootleg,the proceeds of which went,like all the rest of the dosh, into Malcolm's back pocket.

This is the proof that total fat cunt Alex Jones msy have been right when he claimed that all artists are asked to “pledge themselves to Lucifer” before signing record deals.
I kid yee not, this bankrupt convicted conspiracy troll,Speaking on his own biblical news channel, His Glory, said that he believes musicians have to “reject Jesus Christ” and “pledge” themselves to the devil before inking deals.

So, as The Wilderness Children clearly had no contract,or any prospect of signing with Rough Trade, this makes them free from Satan Worship,and all you gentle Christian folk out there in internet-land,or more accurately thick fuckers from Kentucky, better get supportin' Jesus H. by pressing up as many copies of "We're A Council House Punk Rock Band" that will fit into eternity.....there are others obviously,Mary Magdalene I hear is a big Danny and the Dressmakers Fan for example...I know because she told me the night I ate mouldy Cheese before beddy byes.

I suppose that the Sex Pistols did,after all, sign to a label that glorifies Parthenogenesis and the virgin birth;except the virgin birth,or births, we refer to, are the endless number of new wave bands that popped out of Virgin Record spontaneously bwteen 1977 and 1979.

One must admit, if I was in a band that was offered a contract under the terms that i had to reject Christ and praise Satan, i would tell them to politely Fuck Off; as I would if they asked me to reject Lucifer, Beelzebub, or whatever other plain daft name they wanna call this fictional child control tool...Child abuse in any sane crack of society,if that exists? 

Praise Jesus,our lard(sic) and saviour Alex Jones thinks he's going to Heaven.Well,If he's there I would gladly burn.....but at least The Widerness Children will be allowed in for Jones to out as Deep State Crisis Actors.

The musick you ask?

The Devil has all the best tunes,but Its fairly standard strummy Indie pop,without pretentions, and seemingly made by the Dundee branch of the Reid Family, brother and sister,as opposed to the East Kilbride Reid twins,who called themselves,Blasphemously ,one may add,The Jesus and Mary Chain.

So maybe The Wilderness Kids aren't so free of his Insidious Majesty Satan J Beast's evil influence as I imagined!? They do have a song called "Go To Hell" i guess?

Hail Satan, I just signed a contract with another internet provider,and yes, there was a box to tick rejecting Christ,and the Devil will get my Soul should I want to switch providers after the introductory period of two years at the cheaper rate.

Well that's me Fucked then!?

"We're A Council House Punk Rock Band ,7"EP":

A1 Mrs Susan Spence
Written-By – Reid, Reid
A2 Go To Hell
B Midsummer's Night Dream
Written-By – Reid, Reid

" Plastic Bag From Tescos 7" :

A Plastic Bag From Tescos
B Bad Taste In My Mouth (Part 1)

DOWNLOAD to reject christ HERE!

The Associates - "Sulk (40th Anniversary Edition) 1982/2022

I'm in a sulk.....there are no associates left. 

Rankine died peacefully a few days previously, which is ironic as Sulk is one of the least peaceful Pop records ever made.Its full of several kitchen sink's worth of suffocating Pop genius. There's so much going on that one needs a crowbar to get the album out of its high viz glossy,but nameless,package.

None of yer average pop consumers knew what The Associates looked like, hence the need for the annoying sticker that fucked up the garishly botanical cover,and was impossible to remove.

There are few stranger records than "Party Fears Two" or "Club Country" that entered the top ten of the UK Charts.Right Up there with PiL's "Death Disco" and "Flowers Of Romance" as the weirdest singles to both chart and appear on Top Of The Pops.Subversive moments both.The associates also got on Top of The Pops with "18 Carat Love Affair", using chocolate guitars,which melted as Alan Rankine mimed playing them,and got eventually eaten by the audience,including the Spare one....Pop eating itself in action.

I'm supposed to write something else aren't I?..but i've been drinking some hard medicine,and i've become lost listening to this work of genius.Food?...who needs it?

One of my few claims to fame by proxy, is that I had an aggressively jealous Scottish girlfriend,who came from Dundee/Glasgow,and went for a night out with Billy mcKenzie!?...a predictably crazy and wild night was had by all accounts.Although if I went for a night out with Billy Mckenzie i'm sure she would have been less generous,and i would have received a few glancing blows from the flying crockery heaved in my general direction.But.....

Of course "Sulk" is one of the greatest ,most perverse Pop Lp's ever made.And Bill remains one of the greatest vocal acrobats ever.

Rest in noisy peace Bill and Alan. This album is your epitaph.

Sulk:

CD1-1 Arrogance Gave Him Up
CD1-2 No
CD1-3 Bap De La Bap
CD1-4 Gloomy Sunday
CD1-5 Nude Spoons
CD1-6 Skipping
CD1-7 It's Better This Way
CD1-8 Party Fears Two
CD1-9 Club Country
CD1-10 Nothinginsomethingparticular

Outtakes, Monitor Mixes & Rarities:

CD2-1 Ulcragyceptimol - Demo
CD2-2 I Never Will - Demo
CD2-3 Club Country - Demo
CD2-4 Me, Myself And The Tragic Story - John Leckie Recording
CD2-5 Australia - John Leckie Recording
CD2-6 Skipping - Monitor Mix Instrumental
CD2-7 It's Better This Way - Monitor Mix
CD2-8 And Then I Read A Book - Alternative Version
CD2-9 Ulcragyceptimol - Alternative Version
CD2-10 It's Better This Way - Alternative Version
CD2-11 The Associate
CD2-12 A Girl Named Property
CD2-13 Grecian 2000
CD2-14 Party Fears Two - 7"
CD2-15 Club Country - 7"
CD2-16 18 Carat Love Affair
CD2-17 Love Hangover - Extended Version

Associates Live - The Peel Sessions:

CD3-1 Me, Myself and the Tragic Story
CD3-2 Nude Spoons
CD3-3 A Matter Of Gender
CD3-4 It's Better This Way
CD3-5 Ulcragyceptimol
CD3-6 Waiting for the Love Boat
CD3-7 Australia
CD3-8 Love Hangover
CD3-9 A Severe Case of Career Insecurity
Associates Live - Gigant, Apeldoorn 10/01/81
CD3-10 Arrogance Gave Him Up
CD3-11 A Matter Of Gender
CD3-12 Nude Spoons
CD3-13 Paper House
CD3-14 No
CD3-15 And Then I Read A Book
CD3-16 Gloomy Sunday
CD3-17 It's Better This Way
CD3-18 Skipping
CD3-19 Australia

DOWNLOAD on this very gloomy sunday HERE!

Silverfish – "T.F.A. E.P." (Wiiija Records – WIJ5) 1989

I thought this lot were american,but they weren't as well drilled.....geddit?...as american Noise Rock groups were,so I smelled a rat. They looked as if they met in a Pub,which is a dead give away,sure they're British,and that american twang in the lead screechers voice is because she's Scottish.....which gave me a reason to post this rather good EP,as I seem to be posting noisy groups from beyond Hadrian's Wall during the Grunge sickness of 1991 this week.

All band members have Dole Snooper avoiding names,like back in the halcyon days of Punk Rock, and that shouty female singer is listed as L.F.Rankine,Lesley to her new (in 1989) English friends.

While waiting for the next in a lengthening line of losing referendums which Scots Nationalists live in hope that one of them will eventually deliver the result that they dream of (be careful or it may just come true!). The Scottish are never slow in slagging off the English,and watching Braveheart over and over again(not bad for a film about a loser,a Scots tradition still adhered to faithfully today);but they can't seem to wait to escape to England at the first opportunity,and Lesley did just this,and ended up in one of the few bands in Britain not to have a funky drummer beat and an extraneous dancin' fool at the side of the stage in 1989.

Yep, you guessed it....Madchester was happening,or Shitchester as I prefer to call it.

Tracklist:

1.Total Fucking Asshole
2.Die
3.Driller

4.One Silver Dollar

DOWNLOAD it HERE! you total fucking arsehole!

Badgewearer – "F.T.Q." (Gruff Wit Records – GRUFF 0006) 1991

 As much as I was oblivious during the 1990's, there did seem to have been a limited rise in interest in noisy avant-math rock types with their feet dangling in the limpid pools of both the Magic Band and Jesus Lizard camps....in Scotland?  Up until Brit-pop,the 90's were one endless party, unless you like Grunge culture,so didn't really have time to listen to a lot of this stuff,when just owning a new wave of Jazz record made me instantly allurable to the fairer sex in those happy pre-consent form carrying days.A Badgewearer album wouldn't cut the mustard. I suppose Post-Rock was the 90's too wasn't it? That was a largely interesting way to nurse a hangover,and a toll-free highway back to the music that started all this...Progressive Rock.

In many ways this math-punk noise was indeed progressive Punk Rock that, in hindsight, would have been rather popular in my household were it not for the many distractions on offer.

Badgewearer was another production job by former Stretchhead 'Richie',and it certainly has a few reference points that hark all the way back to the C-86 era,with its high-speed plectrum blur guitar attak a la Wedding Present, bIG fLAME etc,and admirably disjointed like a Glaswegian Shrub(s).

Very Ron Johnson.

Dunno what F.T.Q. means,but i'm guessing ,'Fuck The Queen',which would have appealed thirty years ago,but now the Queen's a nice little old lady, who could possibly dislike her? If you do you're a T.F.A......see next post. As,The Queen is the rightful heir to the Russian Throne,maybe 'Fuck Putin' is more appropriate? Sever the head of the snake and replace the poisonous dwarf,built up heels and all, with good Queen Liz?

Oh Yeah,this record has a song called "Rod Stewart's Penis"....i bet the plastic Scotsman himself never needed a consent form?...oops, a little bit of sick just appeared in my throat!

Tracklist:

A1 Inflexible Expendable
A2 N'Alien Head
A3 Too Much Soap
A4 We Want Your Name
A5 Moneylenders/Cumbernauld
A6 Impersonal Stereo
A7 Karioke Casualty
B1 Aftershock
B2 Woollenhead And Ears
B3 Static
B4 Rod Stewart's Penis
B5 Syndex
B6 Satellite Dish
B7 Liquid Cosh

DOWNLOAD and hail the rightful queen of Russia HERE!

Dawson – "How To Follow So That Others Will Willingly Lead (Oh My Godley And Creme Cheese)" (Gruff Wit Records – GRUFF 005) 1991

Another crazy as a deep fried mars bar in a box of frogs groop,again from Scotland,and,containing a former Drummer of Stretchheads,is the unforgettably named, 'Dawson'.A derived from various band members' art teacher,who happened to be called...'Dawson'.And there was me hoping they were named after the great Lez Dawson...knickers,knackers,knockers missus!

For those who give a shit....in other words,if you;'re Scottish,they hale,or Hail,from...yeah that's right, Glasgow (pronounced Glaz Go)...or as Joe Biden says it, Glazz ,Gow as in Cow.

Plenty fractured chord sequences and obvious Beefheart influences here kemosabi ...think God is my Co-Pilot,The Shrubs, and Stretchheads with their amplifiers turned off.....very clever they seem to be...falling just short of too clever by 'arf.

Wasn't 1991 the year 'Punk' Broke in USA?...so we had to endure all these,as far as I could determine,heavy Rock groops from Seattle polluting our sceptered Isle with long greasy hair,checked shirts,and lots of quiet then noisy,then quiet,then Loud and so-on, rock songs,as if The Pixies had never existed. Once an ex-acquaintance boasted to me that he'd seen The Pixies six times; I said i could out do him on that one,as i've seen this band who looked like the cast of the Office,or more likely from a real Office, who'd formed a weekend Rock Group precisely ZERO times,and had no plans to change that.

But,the new wave of Punk had been hatched,and spawned a legion of white middle class nerds all claiming to have seen Nirvana when they were the support for Tad. Now if Tad were the only grunge band that existed.I'd be cool with that.....they were basically how Heavy Metal should sound but without the black trousers, topped off by Trucker Caps with plenty meat manufacturer logo's adorning their fashionable, for 1991,Pedophile Trucker chic.Yeah Tad were good.

There were NO British grunge bands (i'm proud to say),except, apparently some big in America token Brits,called 'Bush'.....never heard them I'm pleased to admit.

Alas, wot the British Isles did have,apart from 50 million 'mad for it' Ravers,were a few traditional rock instrument wielding loonies, who made something like the east coast USA style avant-punk,such as God Is My Co-Pilot,and....er...God Is My Co-Pilot?....can I say it again?...or something Japanesie,such as The Boredoms.

Indeed, off-kilter rhythms,fucked up chords,wayward time signatures,nutzoid singing,silly song titles,... you know, Prog Rock by any other words.Why do you think Godley and Creme get a mention?

Glorious Side:

A1 From Bearsden To Baghdad (Via The Erskine Bridge)
A2 Leaf Sweepers And Sandwich Men
A3 Surface Tension
A4 Crick
A5 Records
A6 Booger Hall
A7 George Bush's Family Oil Business (Sanitized Version)

Heavenly Side:

B1 Bodies Under The Floor
B2 Pwep Dub
B3 Barb
B4 Datsun Panel Beating Co.
B5 The Chairman Of British Gas Graciously Accepts His £150,000 Pay Rise (BPM 58-75)

DOWNLOAD so that others may follow HERE!

Stretchheads – "Five Fingers, Four Thingers, A Thumb, A Facelift, And A New Identity" (Moksha Recordings – SOMALP 2) 1988

Stretchheads first proper Lp,with a few 30 second symphonies repeated in new form from the earlier cassette. Short songs were rather fashionable around 1988,epitomized by Napalm Death's "You Suffer", clocking in at one second...unless some smart alec adds reverb like on the Peel Session version,so that version was timed approaching the ten second barrier.

One must take issue whether a 20 second tune actually qualifies as an actual 'Song'? 

Just playing a high speed riff with a lunatic repeating a phrase a few times, then stopping at a random moment around twenty seconds isn't really enough.I mean, what's stopping you playing the same riff for a whole hour  with the same sentence screamed over and over again (sounds good to me?) ,is that a different song?Or Not a song?

An Avant Garde statement on the disposable culture of the 20th and 21st century it may be,but Songs have to have some kind of structure to be called yer actual 'Song' innit?

Personally I'd like just one half hour tune, played in the classic Stretchheads' Beefheart meets Melt Banana in  Pycho-Ward Z at hyper-sonic speed stylee.....no unwelcome end of track and here's another one stuff;a bit like watching adverts i suppose...or another Avant-Garde Proto-Grind statement on the corporate west....I dunno do I?

Either way, there was certainly nothing like this bunch of nutters in 1988...at least outside of Japan.

The Front cover depicts a classic scene of Spontaneous Human Combustion,leaving just the extremities .......kinds sums up The Stretchheads most adequately indeed.

Tracklist:

1 Fans
2 Long Faced German
3 Headache
4 Asylum Suck
5 Skinrip
6 Yiddish Yoddle
7 Shape & Cleanse
8 Land Of Ming
9 Rex Perplexed
10 Semtex
11 I Should Be So Lucky
12 Confront
13 Sidatorium
14 Spleng
15 Archive Footage Of A Fish
16 Jaw Box
17 Chicken Fish
18 Everythings Going To Break In A Minute
19 Ilness
20 Cancer
21 Shut Up

DOWNLOAD a classic case of spontaneous musical combustion HERE!

Stretchheads – "Three Steps To Heaven" (Self-Released Cassette) 1987

"She's got Myra Hindley Eyyyyyeeeessss".....remember that Hit for Kim Carnes?....or was it Dickie Davies Eyes?.....one of the two anyway.

Dickie Davies, for the minuscule minority who are ignorant,on a need to know basis,that,Dickie Davies presented Itv's 'World of Sport' every saturday on British TV.Oh yeah, and Myra Hindley was the blonde one in The Moors Murderers....Nooooo, Not that Punk Group of the same name which Chrissy Hynde and Steve Strange were in for five minutes in 1977, yer actual child killing Moors Murderers.

Anyway,Those Scottish types ooop north weren't wasting their time watching World Of Sport on saturday lunchtime,oh no...they were down the pub getting pissed (as in 'very drunk' for you yankophones).In the case of the Stretchheads,they were busy getting Pished (scottish for Pissed for you Anglophones),then going on to rehearsals after last orders.I'm sure they intended to sound like The Shrubs,but ended up sounding like an Exhibit A recording of one of The Moors Murderers'(not the group!) victims being tortured,....if they were in their twenties and extremely pished.

This deranged version of Grind-core meets Captain Beefheart, on past their sell-by date amphetamines, would have been the perfect soundtrack for a child killing,but Brady(The Scottish one)and Hindley's artist of choice was The Ray Conniff Singers christmas album (This is pure Evil...the Little Drummer Boy) to accompany the torture of Lesley Anne Downey,which they recorded.....crazy but true.That one was indeed Exhibit A at their trial,and doubtlessly still exists in the vaults at New Scotland Yard.....potentially Throbbing Gristle before Throbbing Gristle?...Whereas, Stretchheads were potentially Grind-Core before Grind-Core, but without any reference to Impending Nuclear destruction or evil multinational corporations leading us all from enslavement to obliteration.....y'know, that kind of thing.

The nearest equivalent has to be something Japanese? Maybe Melt Banana? A duet between Yasuko Onuki(Melt Banana) and P6 (that's the name of the Stretchheads' singer,screamer,vocalist etc???);would be something to behold.....except The Stretchheads split up and Melt Banana plough a lone furrow of truly demented Hardcore still...so no headlines of "Melt Banana Split" can get me off the hook anytime soon!

Any group with a vocalist called P6,high speed prog rock chord sequences,and recorded well into the red Zone has to be good? No?

They should have been rightly revered by the Noise-Core youth of today, but they did the right thing by splitting,citing record company theft as a primary motivation....so they now advocate illegal downloading of their back catalog....so you can make the band happy by starting HERE!...and make me feel like Dennis Moore giving lupins to the Poor again.I love you all.

Tracklist:

1 Sidatorium
2 Chicken Fish
3 Confront
4 Fans
5 Headache
6 The Illness
7 Skinrin
8 Jawbox
9 Cancer

'Steal' from the stretchheads' former record companies HERE!.....but its still sharing as far as i'm concerned.

Boots For Dancing – "The Undisco Kidds (Sessions,Singles,and Demo's 1980-82) " (A Die or DIY? expanded edition) 2022

Bonnie Scotland were not just responsible for such reasons not to exist as Deacon Blue, The Proclaimers,,and Big Country, they virtually invented Indie-pop the night after witnessing Subway Sect on the Clash's White Riot tour....Josef K, Orange Juice,Fire Engines, Boots For Dancing,and......hold on big man,what was that last one?

Yeah, Boots For Dancing, the celtic cousins of Gang Of Four and A Certain Ratio, so accurately described by Rezillo and Dare-era Human Leaguer Jo Callis as "Schrodinger's crazy cats writhing about in a Faraday cage,all charged up"....couldn't have put it better myself. So  scratchy and funky were they that John Peel once threatened to dance upon aural detection. They did release two singles on Bob Last's legendary "Pop:Aural" label after all...all included here.

It's the kind of off kilter post-punk-funk that gets the white man's foot-a-tappin' for sure.A style that would crop up on Top Of The Pops in the form of cute but funky plagiarists Haircut 100 and floppy fringed cringe-meisters Modern Romance,with a polished up version of ACR and Boots For Dancing for the great unwashed and the even the less great unintelligentia who form 90% of the 'Public'. 

Undoubtedly, these groups were also a major influence on Ron Johnson acts such as Twang! and mid-80's post-punk Scot-funksters The MacKenzies,until the Kids found different ways to dance post-chemical enhancement after 1988....i'll leave it to you to imagine what that could have been?

Anyway...All the singles,three John Peel Sessions,and some demo's for a future Lp that never materialized,are on here......groovy baby.

"I Like Dancing but I don't Like Disco's" is the manifesto from the debut single back in 1980.....as for me, I don't Like Dancing and I don't like Disco's.....but if i'm drunk i firmly believe I could to this?.....hmmmm, maybe not?

Tracklist:

1. Boots For Dancing (Pop Aural Single 1980)

2. Parachutes (Pop Aural Single 1980)

3. Guitars & Girl Trouble (Pop Aural Single 1980)

4. (Let's All) Hesitate (Peel Session 17.11.1980)

5. The  Pleasure Chant (Peel Session 17.11.1980)

6. Timeless Tonight (Peel Session (17.11.1980)

7. South Pacific (Peel Session 17.11.1980)

8. Stand (Peel Session 13.07.1981)

9. Shadows Of Stone (Peel Session 13.07.1981) 

10.Wild Jazz Summers (Peel Session 13.07.1981)

11.Get Up (Peel Session 14.04.1982)

12.Salt in the Ocean (Peel Session 14.04.1982)

13.Style in Full Swing (Peel Session 14.04.1982)

14.Bend an Elbow, Lend an Ear (Peel Session 14.04.1982)

15.Just the Ticket  (Barclay Towers Studio October 1981)

16.Money (Is Thin On The Ground) (Barclay Towers Studio October 1981)

17.Wild Jazz Summers (Barclay Towers Studio October 1981)

18.Shadows on Stone (Barclay Towers Studio October 1981)

19.Oh' Bop Sh Bam (Barclay Towers Studio October 1981)

20.Hesitate (The Rain Song 7'' Pop Aural 1980).

21.The Rain Song (The Rain Song 7'' Pop Aural 1980)

DOWNLOAD yer dancin' boots HERE!

Dog Faced Hermans – "Everyday Timebomb" ( Vinyl Drip International – SUK 007) 1989

Sorry to mention John Robb again, but here's another Ron Johnson band wot got away,yet ended up with a release on Vinyl Drip late in the day;but at least Rob Johnson can put another of his products in one of his books,and make sure The Membranes are mentioned as the Trad Rock Traditionalist they wanted to be.

Being guilty of crimes against post-punk fashion,as in his 40 year long erect collars digression,it was a match made in Indie-rock Hell that Johnny,to his credit, could see past the frankly horrible Anarcho-Punk chic of the Dog Faced Hermans.They were, Scottish, after all.

Musically, The Hermans slotted in reasonably well with the pre-madchester Indie scene epitomised by Ron Johnson Records,which was fine ,as long as you did't see 'em. The liberal use of brass instruments give's one unpleasant images of previous and future scotch proto and post-indie evil,such as Pale Fountains and,OUCH!, Belle and Sebastian,that suggests music lessons as a child.....another Anarcho-Punk symptom displayed by the discerning Trustafarian in his angry years.

There's also an egregious,and downright unpleasant suggestion of an inclination towards some ginger dreadlocked Anarcho-Folk,weaponized in the 90's by the Levellers......thumb harps, junkyard percussion, didgeridoos, horrible,horrible,horrible.

Apart from all that...it's not bad.

Tracklist:

A1 New Shoots
A2 Scottish Block
A3 Binding System
A4 John Henry
B1 Beautiful
B2 Frock
B3 Live Action

DOWNLOAD why you should never give your child trumpet lessons HERE!

Alternative ‎– "Isolation From Ones Self - Is Alienation From Another" (Self-Released cassette) 1982

 Hey look kids, that's a totally original group symbol going on there,nothing at all like the Crass one, complete with spray can stencil font to boot.Harry Styles will be wearing this on a T-shirt next spring.....although ZOG beat them to it...see below:

One Direction loved experimental music...Harry's on the right...of the photo,and in Politics I hear?

The drummer on this below shit-fi quality on bullshit detector demo tape does indeed play a few Penny Rimbaud boys brigade fills, and i'm quite sure it isn't the Rimbaud himself.....it undoubtedly was on the LP.

Ah Bless 'em, they bark about alienation, nuclear war, corporate oppression, and that anarcho-staple..."crying children"......well, at least i think they do?They could be singing love songs for all i can make out amidst the hiss and fuzz and cheapo distortion pedals.

It's certainly a Love Song to Crass anyway, may I be so bold as to speculate?

Another sickeningly pseudo philosophical white ghetto pretentiousness of a title.....but don't you just love 'em for it?...not really...I was just trying to look open minded and accepting of difference so i seem Kool to the pinko politico-elite. Please like me!

Tracklist:

1 Propaganda
2 Child In The System
3 Unknown
4 Rising Sun
5 False Visions
6 Can't You See
7 Pick Up The Camera
8 What's So Pitiful

DOWNLOAD harry styles' favourite anarcho-punk band HERE!

Alternative ‎– "If They Treat You Like Shit - Act Like Manure" (Corpus Christi ‎– Christ It's 13) 1984

Ay up....it's only the Scottish Crass innit? Just like the Skids were the Scottish Sex Pistols,but were in fact, very good indeed,whereas Alternative are an alternative to nothing at all. Yes they sound exactly like,look like, Crass but without useful Essex boy on shouty vocals. And, oooh look, they didn't like Thatcher,who liberated more working class than any posh Anarchist ever did. Maggie gave us a national wage long before it was ever mooted in the political mainstream in the form of paid mass unemployment,liberated swathes of Yorkshiremen (The very same Tetley Bittermen that Seething Wells used to go on about) from underground slavery,and gave away houses to the lower stratum of society. Three very Anarchist policies. Without Mrs T your scribe would have been stuck in a factory for the last forty years,and now on a zero hours slave contract in an Amazon warehouse,alongside the grandchildren of those Tetly Bittermen who'd preferred them to have been stuck down a coal mine instead. Unlike Penny Rimbaud and mates I won't be entitled to a pension after i'm 67 (correct at the time of writing!)...I've gotta work until I die,mainly thanks to the new anti-Thatcherite conservatives that the very same liberated working class idiots in the north of England who voted for Johnson and his government of lying Cunts!?...can you fucking believe IT!? Lying is something that Thatcher never did....she told you what she was gonna do and did it.

'Big Sister is watching You' it says....turns out she wasn't,but they fucking are Now!

One plus point ,however ,is that Alternative are certainly NOT Posh. So, as usual, they had the joy of the Posher members of Crass inflicting themselves on these useful working class black clad proles,bring in their own drummer (Rimbaud), guitarist (Peter Wright) and ex-finishing school for young ladies screecher Annie Anxiety.Producing it for them...not that they asked! Trevor Horn did the same for Frankie Goes to Hollywood I believe.

I think it was Rimbaud's stealthy way of continuing Crass after they had split up...which was a lie it seems.Find some star-struck Crass worshipping anarcho-punk clones from 'oop norf',then take-over.....life after death Anarcho-Punk style.

And you just know that they are 100% certain they are 'Right',or in football language 120%.Its an effect of the British Public School 'System System System', just like Oswald Moseley,super Posh, and Super fascist, knew he was irrevocably corrrrrect. How wrong could they be?

I do however, have a soft spot for most of this Anarcho-Punk stuff however,in the same way that i get a nostalgic glow for my lost innocence when i watch Childrens TV from my own childhood. There is something so unerringly charming about the pointless adolescence of this toytown utopia that these kids,plus Penny Rimbaud,had built for themselves in their own minds.All they had to do was ask Thatcher to give them a council estate and they could have made it real. Reality is something quite frightening when your dreams are transported into bricks and mortar......but,there's always a 'but' isn't there? Crass didn't want to live in the sewers they sang about,they bought a big house in the Essex countryside far away from the underclass's who would have kicked their collective backsides back to their Trustafarian country retreats.

The album's title is a rather cringing and vain attempt at emulating Flux Of Pink Indians' "The Fucking Cunts Treat Us Like Pricks",which is one of the best album titles ever or what? Discuss?

Where are YOUR Hiroshimas eh?

Mine are in someones else's dystopia, not mine.

Tracklist:

A1 Another Subversive Peace Song
A2 Seen Through Tear Filled Eyes
A3 Mannequin
A4 Now I Realize
A5 How Many Times Sold?
A6 Love And Life
B1 If You've Got It......Don't
B2 Till Death Do You Part
B3 Death Isn't So Sweet
B4 Caroline's Carnival
B5 Suffer In Silence
B6 Struggling Through The Darkness
B7 Ireland
B8 Where Are Your Hiroshimas?

DOWNLOAD if they treat you like shit act like Crass HERE!

Archie Fisher – "The Man With A Rhyme" (Folk-Legacy Records – FSS-61) 1976

What does 'Sister Ray' mean to you?.....No not The Velvet Underground, obviously the late Sister Ray Fisher,sibling to the more successful Archie Fisher; both members of Scottish Folk Royalty The Fisher Family.Archie, as it says, is the man with a Rhyme,and he penned quite a few popular contemporary Folk tunes that garnered an audience in the States, United of...!

Archie is also the man with an MBE,awarded for services to Folk music in the 2000's.

He does a nice line in gentle, acoustic folk,and manages to sing in various accents, both Scotch and English; a fact that would make many a kilt wearing Scottish nationalist bigot spin in his shallow grave.

Archie realised we were all the same people on that wretched Island.

Tracklist:

A1 Twa Bonnie Maidens 3:23
A2 Welcome Royal Charlie 3:03
A3 Dark Eyed Molly 2:59
A4 Queen Amang The Heather 3:49
A5 Jock Stewart 2:57
A6 The Witch Of The West-Mer-Lands 4:38
A7 The Echo Mocks The Corncrake 2:42
B1 Western Island 2:01
B2 Upstairs, Downstairs 1:58
B3 Mount And Go 3:13
B4 The Wounded Whale 4:09
B5 The Cruel Brother 5:45
B6 Coshieville 3:04
B7 South Wind 3:19

DOWNLOAD something fishy HERE!

Ray Fisher – "The Bonny Birdy" (Trailer – LER 2038) 1972

Staying on the theme of androgynous female first names, after Frankie, and Lindsay ,but not staying on the same musical theme, we've got Scotch Folkie lady,and bonny birdie, Miss Ray Fisher.She,who sings with a Scottie from Star Trek style scotch accent(but this one is apparently 'real'?) about Scottish stuff,but without that distasteful Scottish Nationalism that makes everyone groan as soon as North Sea fucking Oil is mentioned! The same shit happens in conversation with persons of Irish decent too.The clock is ticking as to when 'Da Potatoe Famine' is inevitably mentioned. Jeeeezuz, let it go will ya!?

But, when it comes to traditional music, Scottie from Star Trek can sum it up in one of his adapted catchphrases.

"Yae cannie change the laws of Folk Captain!" (Montgomery Scott,chief engineer, USS Enterprise)

No doubt that The Fisher family were staunch nationalists,but no real hint of that crap on this record anyway,especially as most of the English folk glitterati appear on this album,as featured on the rear cover in that folk style of heads floating in bubbles. Included in the floating bubbles are folk gods Martin Carthy and Ashley Hutchings who supply arrangements, guitars and backing voices.

As far as I can see the song selection only hints at the Glencoe massacre when scots killed scots,and no tiresome tunes about slaughtering the English at one of the few battles they actually won.

American Aussie and Jew Hater, Mel Gibson,barked the immortally fictional line "You may take our lives but you won't take our freedom!",in that rather silly film about William Wallace.

They are still a slave state of the English to this day apparently? All that devolved power and democracy, higher capita per head spending of govt funds north of the border,and other atrocities like that. Poor fuckers.

The Uyghur's in China and the Rohingya in Myanmar have got it easy compared to the repressed Scots.

I know that by mentioning the Uyghur genocide in China I am risking receiving a virus that wipes this blog completely and emptys my bank account,but I felt obliged. A western boycott of Chinese goods, like anything by Apple, would go a long way to offer some support for our Muslim chums in the Re-Education centres and forced labour Factories of China.This is probably the only time I have agreed with Iain Duncan Smith ever! Who is normally reprehensible in his obnoxiousness......this also sadly means that I agree with Trump on China too...but perhaps for different reasons.

Oh Yeah.....this albums pretty good by the way.....got rather sidetracked.....again!? 

 

Tracklist:

A1 Johnnie Sangster
A2 Mill O'Tifty's Annie
A3 Bonny At Morn
A4 Forfar Sodger
B1 Pride Of Glencoe
B2 Silkie Of Sul Skerry
B3 Shipyard Apprentice
B4 Bonny Birdy

DOWNLOAD this bonny compressed mp3 file HERE!

Various Artists - "Spoke : New Scottish Voices" (Bletherink ) 2000

Not sure that Ivor Cutler would approve of these potty mouthed anarchists but,staying in spoken word Scotland,here we have some sweary scottish realists from the year 2000.Sounds like a title of some bad horror movie doesn't it?

A cosmopolitan stew of (mostly) Glasgow-based writers captures the excitement of the spoken word scene in Scotland at the turn of the century. Bletherers include Bobby Christie, Anne Donovan, Jim Ferguson and Nick E Melville.And don't expect a torrent of Scottish accents either as there are a few interlopers. Sassanachs with a barely hidden west midlands drawl talk about drugs and alcoholism. 

The Trainspotting stain on the imternational Scottish image, is further enhanced here unfortunately.The stench of Buckfast and vomit was becoming a cliché by the turn of the millenium;but at least this stuff doen't make it sound exciting,with Iggy Pop(as big a prat as he is) as a soundtrack to an overdose or a painful withdrawl.Wow! Smack Yeah! Say YO to drugs!

Say NO to Catholicism,just a smidgen less,....well..maybe more actually,.... horrific than Drug abuse,which rears the grotesque head of sectarianism and the dream crushing millstone of Catholic Guilt.
Sug Hanlan's epic poem about "The Song That Started In The Middle Of The Bus", is an 'Ancient Mariner' of our times.Providing a microcosm of Scottish culture to firmly bury the spectre of cabre tossing in kilts with no underpants,prancing round swords while playing bagpipes and eating raw freshly killed Haggis.This is a world of unfulfilled,but modest dreams, like thrashing England at footy.Giving someone a good kicking,especially England Fans,and maybe even receiving a good kicking,depending on how pished you were.But In the midst of all this hopelessnes there sprung a glint of hope....a song that brought everyone on the Hampden park special together.Everyone was united in their hatred of the royal family and Maggie Thatcher,who turned us all into Prostitutes.Of course there is always one character who's to far gone to reach.

Chic,or Chick,depending on how you spell it,was the really mental character on the Bus.It must be something to do with the name because he reminds me of a nutter, also called Chick, whom i had the questionable privilege to meet in Bellshill one christmas;which is, for those who are blissfully unaware,is a cheerless satelite town on the outskirts of Glasgow.He was adamant that Marc Almond owed him a million quid,because it was Chick who wrote all those fucking songs, d'yer ken? Including, I may add, 'Tainted Fucking Love"!!!....chic, or Chick, had added that extra pronoun in the title himself. I didn't dare point out that someone else had actually written 'Tainted fucking Love',and that 'fucking poof Almond' didn't actually owe him for that one. "Say Hello Wave Goodbye" yes, but his biggest hit.....no? I heard later, that Chick, or Chic, or Charles, had indeed 'waved Goodbye' after he set his squat on fire whilest off his tits on a cocktail of drugs and booze,succumbing to the flames.Marc Almond was too busy to comment.

(Shug Hanlan also wrote a short story that uniquely combines working on an Oil Rig and Prog Rock....sounds like hell ,but anyone who can combine those two subjects needs checking out....Check out more of Shugs literary works at his website HERE!)

Tracklist:

1. "Modern Glasgow Love Poem" - Jim Ferguson

2. "Wodduwoy Need With It?" - Sam Trainor

3. "Wet Your Whistle:A Translation From The Drunk" - Sam Trainor

4. "Mrs Cloud Says" - Anne Donovan

5. "Concerning My Refrigerator" - Edward Clapp

6. "The River" - Edward Clapp

7. "The Sun Has Got His Hat On" - Laura Marney

8. "Post Off" - Nick E. Melville

9. "Understanding Wimmin#2" - Nick E. Melville
10. "Good Head" - Nick E. Melville

11. "The Food On Chippsay Troy" - Nick E. Melville

12. "The Anti-Royal Mail Man" - Nick E. Melville

13. "Train Train" - Bobby Christie

14. "Varanais Punk" - Bobby Christie

15. "The Song That Started In The Middle Of The Bus" -Shug Hanlon

15a."Mystery Track"

DOWNLOAD from up there HERE!

The Scrotum Poles ‎– "Revelation (Expanded cd-r version)" (Rightback Records) 2009

For those of you who don't know, The Scrotum Poles claim to fame was their self-financed ep from 1980, which contained five tracks of charmingly naive sounding proto indie pop,in the style of the TV Personalities and hints of Subway Sect.
This is the expanded CD-r version with the bonus tracks released in  2009.
It comes with sleeve notes explaining everything included above if you can read them.

Tracklist:

1 Why Don't You Come Out Tonight? 3:56
2 Night Train 2:51
3 Pick The Cat's Eyes Out 3:06
4 Helicopter Honeymoon 1:45
5 Radio Tay 1:40
Bonus Tracks
6 Put An End To It All 1:37
7 On The Street Where You Live 2:23
8 Eye To Eye 2:51

DOWNLOAD this revelation HERE!

The Scrotum Poles ‎– "Auchmithie Forever" (Dulc-I-Tone ‎– TT 012) 2009

With the state of crumbling modern Britain, and the rise of this Xenophobic Brexiteer nonsense which has permanently split the UK,the opening track of this LP becomes strangely topical...... in the words of the mighty Scrotum Poles "It Just Aint Fucking Funny".
Watching the "Democratic" Football Lads Alliance marching in their tens and dozens, even less, against Islam, made me wanna vomit....as much as i wanted to laugh at the ugly wall of aging skinhead gammon provoking the Police, i'm afraid it really is NOT fucking funny!
Now i've got that off my chest, I can type about some stuff we in the UK can actually be proud of.......you guessed it,the kings of Scottish DIY, The Scrotum Poles.
They liked The TV Personalities and Subway Sect, rather than the stupider end of the market, aka future Football Lads Alliance members.
Any band who can pen a number like "Helicopter Honeymoon" can do no wrong for your faithful scribe.So to discover a vinyl release of a selection from the Poles DIY cassettes was like unpacking my Scalextrick set at Crimbo as a kiddie.....but this time the dodgy transformer works.
All I wanted for christmas as a sad excuse for an adult was a Scrotum Poles LP, and now i've got one! Much better than a Dukla Prague awaykit for me Subbuteo set.
So, we've got alternative versions of "Pick The Cats Eyes Out" and ,of course "Helicopter Honeymoon", plus many unheard proto-indie bedroom classics.

Tracklist:

A1 It Just Aint Fucking Funny
A2 Just Another Number
A3 Be No More
A4 Pick The Cats Eyes Out
A5 On The Street Where You Live
A6 This Is Love
A7 The Smile
A8 Pillars
A9 Roadrunner
A10 Apocalypse
A11 Swing Baby
B1 Helicopter Honeymoon
B2 Fast Changes
B3 You Cant Say Anything Nowadays
B4 Undivided Loyalty
B5 Circumstances
B6 Pick The Cats Eyes Out
B7 Hold Me Tight
B8 City Limits
B9 Cocaine
B10 Birthday Boy
B11 Put An End To It All

DOWNLOAD and slide down the scrotum pole HERE!

Various Artists ‎– "Messthetics #105, Scotland 1977-81" (Hyped To Death ‎– Messthetics #105) 2007

Sorry, No Deacon Blue here.
It's the Messthetics Scotland compilation innit?
Its got all the classics on here, The Fakes, The Exile,He's Dead Jim, Scrotum Poles,plus bonus tracks, plus many many more.
Not Avalable in shops.
File under UK DIY.

Tracklist:
1 –Scrotum Poles- Helicopter Honeymoon 1:42
2 –Fire Engines- New Thing In Cartons 3:39
3 –35mm Dreams- More Than This 2:15
4 –The Exile- Jubilee 77 3:03
5 –Commercials- Simon 2:18
6 –Fakes- Sylvia Clarke 2:37
7 –Metropak- You're A Rebel 3:33
8 –Tony Pilley- Waiting For The Man 2:29
9 –Visitors - Moth 2:22
10 –Article 58- Event To Come 2:41
11 –Radio Ghosts- Falling Into Darkness 2:40
12 –Rapid Dance- Hidden So Well 3:29
13 –Strutz- Break Point 4:09
14 –Metropak- Looking 3:24
15 –Vertical Smiles- New Clash Single 2:12
16 –Ettes- A Conversation 1:45
17 –Restricted Code- New Messiah 1:51
18 –Radio Ghosts- My Room 4:50
19 –Brills- Gang Of One 2:30
20 –Rhythm Method - Insight 2:20
21 –Dirty Reds- Bad Sex 2:53
22 –He's Dead Jim - Towel On The Radiator+Lampshade Lampshade 2:55
23 –Jazzateers- Blue Moon Over Hawaii 4:02
24 –Paul Reekie- Lovers 6:10
25 –35mm Dreams- Suburbia Sheikhs (First Demo) 3:11
26 –Commercials- Speeds The End (Demo) 3:16
27 –Friction - Mystery 3:59
28 –International Spys- Baby Don't Go (Demo) 2:21
29 –Restricted Code- Then There Was You (Demo) 2:00
30 –Article 58- Idol (Unreleased) 1:28
31 –Vertical Smiles- Carnal Knowledge (Radio Airthrey Demo) 3:05
32 –Cats Eyes - Guilt (Demo) 3:35
33 –Scrotum Poles- Put An End To It All (A Shot In The Dark Go Pop Session) 1:34

DOWNLOAD from the high road HERE!

Various Artists ‎– "Sad Day We Left The Croft" (Adult Entertainments ‎– ADD 1LP) 1981

"Sad Day We Left The Croft" is a compilation of punk and new wave pwer pop combo's from,of all places, the Scottish Hebridean island of Lewis, recorded in 1980 and released in 1981.

There's so little to do on Lewis, that all the bands seem to have had plenty time to rehearse the art of being 'Raw' to perfection. Also they must have had only one record to listen to, namely Stiff Little Fingers' "Inflammable Material", and maybe a couple of Buzzcocks Singles too. 

Noise Annoys could easily be mistaken for Jake Burns and crew, especially that trademark affected shouty singing.All this despite having a snare drum that sounds like its a full biscuit tin. The Rong also have that popular SLF timbre to their tracks,but not the songs.

Its not all copycat power punk stuff however, The Bruce Wayne Band, seem like a fine bunch,and The Bland had obviously managed to tune into Radio One after 10pm inbetween the storms and the fog.

Disturbingly, Addo With Mission,conspired to become Dire Straits somehow? Their track 'Ocean Of Love' is basically "Sultans Of Swing"(Part 2)!!!!!.....disturbing yes, but that quaint kinda disturbing that Dire Straits lacked enormously.

All this adds up to the best Scottish local compilation by a country mile.

Track Listing:

1.Noise Annoys: "Living (in the world today)" – 1:28
2.The Rong: "Treatment" – 3:38
3.The Bland: "River Creed" – 4:28
4.Addo: "Deep down inside" – 5:56
5.The Subjects: "Paradise" – 5:14
6.Bruce Wayne Band: "First year fear" – 2:53
7.Dirty Girls: "Love or lust?" – 1:34
8.The Rong: "Union Jack" – 2:29
9.The Bland: "Letters while travelling" – 2:43
10.Addo: "Ocean of love" – 6:07
11.The Subjects: "Coming to save you?" – 4:14
12.Bruce Wayne Band: "Nightmares" – 2:04
13.Noise Annoys: "New heroes" – 1:25

DOWNLOAD the sad way to spend an evening HERE!

The Klingons – "Beamed Down By Starship Enterprise" (Synthetic Tapes ‎– SYN 3) 1980

Now this is the stuff, real hand played DIY analogue heaven from Scotlands' Klingons; as previously seen here on Die or DIY? with their tape “Analog-Digital”,released after this,and maybe inferior, depending on taste,but still great.
This C-30 from the golden year of 1980 has all the hall marks of electronic Gold, nothing synced out to boredom levels by unfeeling computers, real non-binary emulated analog synths, and submerged to the point of non-existence hand played drum sounds.
This reminds one of The Sea Of wires,as I could swear they used the exact same synthesisers;this isn't surprising as the choice of budget synths in 1980 wasn't massive,and maybe even included the famous Maplins kit synth?

Track Listing:

A1 Temptation
A2 Metaphase
A3 Interphase

B1 Mitosis
B2 Wake Me Up For World War 3
B3 Searching
B4 Overkill

DOWNLOAD from the starship enterprise HERE!

The Scrotum Poles – "Revelation EP" (One Tone ‎– ERECT 1) 1980

The near mythical ep from Dundee's Scrotum Poles.
Thrill to the romance of "Helicopter Honeymoon" and wonder at the abstract lyricism of "Pick The Cats Eyes Out". This is one of the classic self -financed releases of the period.
They 'like the Television Personalities' ,it says on the sleeve; and that best describes the tunes pressed onto this porky prime cut. Kind of a sillier version of the TVP's,but did it better by not releasing more than one EP.
They're almost too famous these days to be included on Die or DIY?

 Tracklist:

	Sad
A1	Why Don't You Come Out Tonight?
A2	Night Train
	Happy
B1	Pick The Cat's Eyes Out
B2	Helicopter Honeymoon
B2	Radio Tay

DOWNLOAD from the scrotum HERE!