Fuzzhead – "God Bless Your Short Attention Span" (Heliocentric Worlds Of Sound C-60) 1991

 A C-60 of Fuzzhead's earlier cassettes compiled from their Freaky Hip-Hop post club plunderphonia era. Existing within the realms of some kinda unpopular Hippie Hop transition phase.

Thankfully they stuck all of that stuff on one C-60 to register it for posterity before they made the correct choice to get freaky.

As much as I prefer their freakout psych-noise stylee, this has an almost acceptable commercial tinge from the shit end of that particular drumstick,and serves as a gateway sound for youngsters over thirty to find an appreciation of the spontaneous, and less likely, a conduit for noisy psychedelics to be exposed to something that has nothing at all to do with "It Takes A Nation Of Millions to Hold Us Back, but you can see what they mean through the toxic smoke of Chuck Zyklon D's less advised moments.

Yep, this sounds nothing like any Hip-Hop I'm aware of,in fact its a tenuous connection,but has all the hallmarks of someone trying to find their way around a darkened room guided only by the extreme boredom of a drum loop drawing you closer to the edge of a cliff.

A concept embraced by the Tik-Tok generation,who swarm the highways and by-ways of the world wide web like lemmings looking for a way out of the labyrinth as long as the exit doesn't involve anything longer than 30 seconds of screen-time.

Tracklist:

A1 Star Time 1:11
A2 Jackie Drove Away 3:26
A3 Wake Up America 3:48
A4 I'm Just A Freak 4:11
A5 Over And Over 1:16
A6 10 More Minutes 2:52
A7 Fishbowl 3:47
A8 That Stuff 5:33
A9 Kitty Cat 4:29
B1 That Chick Can Sing 4:30
B2 Wonderful Love 5:16
B3 Over The Edge 4:24
B4 Pistol Packin' Mama 4:02
B5 That Baby O' Mine 2:10
B6 Chrome Disk 4:11
B7 Get This Party Started 2:47
B8 Johny 3:41

DOWNLOAD something else you don't have the time to listen to HERE!

Enski Boski – "I Found Jesus In A Gay Bar" (Hamster Records And Tapes – HAM 13) 1984

Sorry for a prolonged absence on my part,but, these guys are just Krazy.

It sounds like the music a mom's basement dwelling guy with ADHD would send to the recording arm of Sony,fully expecting a lucrative contract in response. A sort of a less processable version of mid-period Associates,but with a mentally ill version of that bloke from Spandau Ballet crooning away instead of Billy Mackenzie; albeit with better song titles.

Whether Enski received the cleansing qualities of the Holy Spirit and accepted it as his own personal saviour is unclear.Or, as more likely, he actually found the son of god cruising for cock in in a Soho gay bar around the time that AIDS was becoming really popular. This would explain the presence of the Son Of God in yer actual Gay Bar,personally helping spread the virus person to person;or should i say Deity-to-Deity.

God himself ,as stated in his manifesto,doesn't have much time for Gay versions of his likeness,even though he allegedly created everything himself(?),also one would not be shocked to discover that he magicked up a lethal virus aimed at promiscuous homosexuals,and wanton womanhood to remove them from his DIY planet.That should teach them a lesson alright.

Rather than just conjure up a virus from nowhere, Jesus, being more moralistic than his dad,took the more virtuous route to mass murder, by actually stuffing his unprotected holy Phallus Dei up as many Gays as possible......a more hands on, pants down affair one could suggest? 

Or, Enski Boski could just be making it all up,taking inspiration from many a 'Holy' book filed in the Fiction Section at your local LGBTQ+ library.

Looking at other releases on this Terry Burrows (Jung Analysts) dominated label, there is an impossible to find compilation cassette called "If God Had Meant Us To Dance He Would Have Given Us Legs", which I think sums up everything very nicely.

Tracklist:

A1 The Amazing Inevitable Engendering Gene
A2 Fourteen With Freckles Eighteen With Acne
A3 Without The Enemy Within
A4 George Washington Said
A5 Chantage
B1 Korer Opportunities In Sinking Communtities
B2 Anodyne Noise Psilocybin Sight
B3 The Mercy Killing Conga
B4 The Importance Of Fraudulence
B5 Grocery Trouble
B6 Skid Row

DOWNLOAD HERE! with the thought that if God had meant for us to listen to music like this he'd have given us ears?

Udder Milk Decay – "Take A Teat" (Self Released Teat-001) 1981

It has been brought to my attention that this LP had the signature of Jim Whelton of The Homosexuals, Amos and Sara etc written all over it..'tis hard to say without hearing Amos's trademark pisstake singing style.,but the artwork,and prankster style use of repurposed northern NWOBHM gods, Saxon, record labels,tended to suggest that maybe this rumour was correct?

Turns out that ,(thanks to the tireless research of PJ...you know who you are), that this speculation was utter bollox,or bullocks, as one of the culprits has been located.

'Twas one Jim Hunkin, rather than Jim Whelton,, with his brother Tim Hunkin, not Tim Whelton, buggering about at Brighton Art College with various sound generators what done it..

Listening to it with this new enlightenment, it's obviously nothing to do with Amos and Crew at all, despite the aesthetic parallels.

It sounds more like the BBC Radiophonic Workshop with a spoonful of Perrey and Kingsley during their "In sound from way out" days. Could easily be a lost soundtrack to a wiped Dr. Who episode from 1965.

Which therefore makes this a supremely collectible piece of post modern  proto-electronica musique concréte which won'y get you much more than a Donkey's change out of a Monkey.

Although I sincerely hope they aren't taking the Piss out of Saxon?....my NWOBHM band of preference,the kings of the the one note bassline.

er......happy new fucking year you bunch o'cunts.

Tracklist:

TOP:

1-4 untitled

BOTTOM:

5-7 Untitled

DOWNLOAD this decaying milk HERE!

 

SEP/8363 – ".04" (Party Sound Tapes – P.S.-6) 1984

Not that you give seven shades of shite,but,I have a liking for groups with totally unrecallable names,unpronounceable names that don't work in any filing system,even the Dewey Decimal, and are near google proof.No-one is quite sure if its the title or the catalog number.I also like a good collage,so this scores heavily on the non music front,as well as sporting a rather nifty brand of Non-Music itself. All this, together means the music comes a poor fourth place in my priorities.

Of course this is yet another group that features Severed Head In The Bag's own Brad Laner. Who not only has a natural aptitude for the abstract, and the noncommercial,but seems to have no real need to be a somebody,or even a no-body,or anybody save himself.From such rich pastures does arise thee perfect conditions to make art such as this.Art that clears the room of dumb people....I hesitate to say Trump fans,so i won't, to avoid elongated and pointless tit-for-tat arguments about the post-fact reality in the comments section....but you know what i'm getting at don't you? 

Anyway, there's a top snooker player called Trump also,who does seem to attract a dumb people entourage attracted to his reckless style of attacking populist snooker.

The noble art of Snooker aside, this tape is just one of the many delightfully weird offshoots of the Los Angeles Free Music Society,of whom Brad was but one of the members.

Whether he plays Snooker I dunno, but I reckon he's got an interesting safety game.

Tracklist:

A-1 Restaurant 1:58
A-2 EDB 2:30
A-3 Power Structure 3:53
A-4 See You 3:18
A-5 When I Was Young I Prayed With Butt Puppets 7:11
A-6 I Also Saw Frank Bleeding On Angry Mountain 2:31
A-7 Lhasa Club Feb 1984 (excerpt) 2:43
A-8 Majority 1:27
B-1 Doctors With Teeths 4:46
B-2 Something As It Really Is ! 2:34
B-3 Not You Nor I 3:45
B-4 For Damaged Compression 8:08
B-5 Expected Systems 3:46
B-6 Cough Syrups 2:54
B-7 Due To The Mouth Thing 3:18
B-8 Explaining Pork to David 4:29
B-9 Ineinlander Fallende Alte Häuser 1:52

DOWNLOAD oct/2310.01 HERE!

Severed Head In A Bag – "Severed Head In A Bag" (Party Sound Tapes – P.S.-18) 1983

From what I hear on most international propaganda platforms, there are quite a few severed heads rolling around in the holy-land as I type.Most of those, i assume, will inevitably find their way into a body bag,hopefully reuniting them with the correct torso.
A bad taste intro I'll admit, but this direction enables me to,firstly, introduce the only long playing cassette by abstract noise rockers,featuring Brad Laner and various Three Day Stubble geeks,the very great,"Severed Head In A Bag"; and secondly, issue a warning of some noisy bad taste overloaded immoral rubbish to come.....I say rubbish,but that's subjective isn't it?Just as Morality is?
Morality is subjective,but Subjectivity is also objective? Alas ,Not in a rational scheme of perception.Perception is irrational and It does imply immanence.
But judgment of any system or the intuitively obvious relation of phenomena exists in any rational or metaphysical or at least epistemological contradiction to an abstracted empirical concept such as being, or to be, or to occur in the thing itself, or of the thing itself.
As I always say;Moral notions imply attributes to substances which exist only in a relational duality.
And, you'd be well within your rights to counter with...,Ahh,but not as an essential extension of ontological existence......Ahaaaaa!

So enjoy this rather fine abstract rock workout safe in the knowledge that this opinion comes from the power of reasoning based on self-evident truths.One of which is that this Kicks some serious buttlines of reasoning, or arguments that proceed from the general to the particular, or from causes to effects.
Most definitely an essential extension of ontological existence if ever I've seen,or heard, one.

Tracklist:

A1 The Man With The Exploding Head
A2 Mr. Dixon
A3 The White Ladies Are Dancing
A4 Kissy Face
A5 Eat Your Own Young
A6 Bad Cube
A7 Brownian Movement
A8 Chunk Of Bleeding Mass
A9 Country Music Award
A10 Killer Clown
A11 Belkins Box
A12 The Hungry Waiter
A13 Tiki God
B1 Underground Trumpet
B2 Closed
B3 Los Genius
B4 Tokyo Today
B5 (Let's Go To The) Mink Farm
B6 Almost Blackout
B7 5 Kinds Of Cancer
B8 41 Drop Gorgeous
B9 Chunk of Bleeding Mass (part 2)
B10 Blank Silence

DOWNLOAD is in the bag HERE!

Robert Ridley-Shackleton – "Stone Cold Crazy" (Crow Versus Crow – CVC010) 2018

I noticed recently, that there is no such thing as a group anymore.All the charts are full up of so-called 'Solo artists'(like RRS), who are there strictly for their aesthetically pleasing presence (unlike RRS)....not that I don't find them utterly repulsive (sort of like RRS,but...). The vast divisions of Musicians and technical experts behind these Avatars are largely ignored;only to appear in the background for these stadium tours,as their 'Group'.

Now we've got "AI" algorithm versions of the pop we are supposed to want to hear.So the days are definitely numbered for us Biological Units.Soon there will be no work,just leisure time but with NOTHING to do,it's all done for us.Nietzschen Artificial Intelligence has it all covered Boy's and Boys,ex-Girls ex-girls,and all those beautiful souls in transition.All part of the techno-fascist agenda, to remove anything human from the analogue planet.No sexually compatible partners ultimately leads to No Humanity.Duh! 

Basically Humans will accept absolutely ANYTHING they are told to. If they are told they are a woman trapped in a Boy's body,or that Harry Styles 1.2 is good stuff,then I guess we should all accept it?!

Liam Gallagher ,after hearing the "AI" version of Oasis was heard to exclaim ,allegedly, that (he) Sounded "Mega"!?.....add the AI media suggestion that he was serious and not joking and you have the start of the replacement of biological Art...if you rate Oasis as "Art" or not?.....its cheaper and less troublesome than having the real Liam Gallagher on a contract to your global corporation.

It will get to the stage when Avatars of Avatars will be purchasing the new Oasis album from each other, leaving what room, or what use for Humans? Vulnerable biological machines that were so dumb as to design their own replacements,and then moan about it,but do precisely Nuffink.....yes another Oasis album,with Robo-Bonehead on guitar. Noel was rich and wise enough to buy his own avatar which refused to work with the singer,or Bonehead, for all eternity.

My toes curl at the idea of of an eternal Robo-Bez idiot dancing for the next billion tears,frying his MDMA chip to a frazzle....and going to Avatar Re-Hab with an interactive hologram of Kurt Cobain as his new besty to plumb new depths of the Metaverse.

I may be very WRONG, but i can't see a Robot ever coming up with anything as dysfunctional and deranged as "Stone Cold Crazy" by the HAL 9000 of underground DIY, Mr Robert Ridley-Shackleton......although he may be in big trouble, because the album title has already been used by AI robo-metal by numbers, and bastards, total fucking BASTARDS, Metallica. They'll be sending a terminator out for Robert's bollocks before too long.....maybe mine too?

So embrace the short time we have left,before all literature, all visual art, and all Music, will be created "For Us"(?) by that amazing ,'Award winning',computer program some idiotic teenager wrote in 2023....whoopeee. 

Computer comedy, hows about that then? What more could you want other than a laughing my ass off emoji. "Wuthering Heights" reduced to just a single sad face emoji on a piece of A5."War and Peace",edited down to a yawning smiley face....we're bored but...we're 'Happy'. 

All that gossip tech's real purpose was to test drive and develop our replacement emotions by variations on the Smiley face.

I guess I'm suggesting that there should be a new Luddite movement or such-like?....well....er...yes.....but,queue sardonic use of footballer interview technique, at the end of the day, we's a-getting what's comin' to us....Don't say i didn't tell ya so.

I'm working on a Deep-Fake version of myself to continue this blog for all eternity right now. Of course its a more handsome,and popular version de moi,but at least the idea of me will remain, post mortem....my first interview after i've gone will possibly be with Bonehead's avatar.....something to look forward to is that?...No?

Hasn't ABBA already done this shit?...here cometh the ruthless dictatorship of Bjorn Avatar and Benny Avatar,who's dream it is to cleanse the planet of us biological scum....notice how sexism survives this cyber coup d'etat.....only 'male' Avatars get to be the crimes against humanity big shots.No Agnetha and/or ...er...the other one!

As Metallica once admitted in weak moment,.... "Kill 'em All".

Twats!

Obviously I'm being more Phillip K Dick rather than Phillip K Dick'ead......but am i ?...Huh? Huuuuh?

Tracklist:

A1 Stone Cold Crazy In Love With U
A2 Pest Control
A3 Bury Me
B1 Yol 4 President
B2 Dirty Cardboard
B3 Snack Effective

DOWNLOAD a rare product of humanity HERE!

Crespo Schneiderman Duo – "No Complaints" (Blueberry Honey – #18) 2010

Well,Guerilla Toss seemed  to be very popular,so as most,if not ALL groups should split up after their second album.I think i posted three Guerilla Toss albums,so we must make a U-Turn,no complaints, and refer to a split single they did with the magnificently Bats, Egg/Eggs. A member of whom would be the Crespo part of this equally nutty electronic duo, the Crespo Schneiderman...er...duo. So you lucky people who found their feet-a-tapping in 7/4 time to a Guerilla Toss LP,will have to adjust to the floating,if non-existent, rhythms, of this abstract electronica outing,which partners Andy, née Andrew, Crespo,with one of the many members of Sun Burned Hand of the Man, Ron Schneiderman...yes, he???...of who?????....(don't worry about it, we'll get to that)!

Having just watched an obviously very ill, Meat Loaf, slur why he hates performing "I'll do anything for love(but I won't Do That)"......he never did tell us what "That" was,but the answer to his artistic torture being that he felt a pressure from the audience,if that's the right word for such people (either that or 'Morons'?) to be more than perfect....and if he wasn't they would let him know in no uncertain terms. This admission, led me into that musical fantasy world in which I frequently navigate during those blank episodes I display whenever anyone normal is talking to me....my music place. I should imagine it works great during Bad Sex, or whenever one is arse raped by....well...er...Meat Loaf I guess?I can't think of anything more repulsive at such short notice........(pause...I've just gone to my Music Place).

(.....I'm Back......)

No Complaints...yet!?

Just imagine playing this Cd-r to Meat's audience of Moron's in place of "I'll Do Anything For Love....blah blah blah blah!, and tell them that it was Meat's Idea.If he wasn't dead already,they would certainly crucify him,if they could ever hoist his ample frame aloft onto a reinforced cross to hammer in the nails.

Hopefully in my disturbing fantasy, the nostalgia crazed mob would have already chased Jim Steinman down, and burnt him at the stake in a wicker man made of endless histrionic rock dirges made real. Truly a music for people who don't actually like Music..........christ that's ME!?

Oh the joy of watching a middle aged mob ripping up seats and rushing the stage,chanting 'we want MEAT', is a joy to behold,sadly only in my crumbling imagination.

The Crespo Schneiderman Duo,I admit, is not the kind of act one would expect to be playing the Enormo-Dome in upstate Kentucky, in fact,in such places you risk expedited justice and a swift lynching for making such Godless music as this.Remember, these living missing links burnt all their Beatles records,and once you start burning records, it only takes a small leap of consciousness,or unconsciousness as in Red Neck stupidity ,and next they start burning humans.

I dunno if this record is that good as to create a new violent mob of "Proud Boys" to cleanse us of our liberal jew DNA, but I like it.

What pleases me most about this abstract  upside down inside out spontaneous mess, is, it makes me feel comfortably separate from these fuckers whom I have so painstakingly drawn reference to...with out naming names....well...a bit anyway.

Tracklist:

1 A Paper Year
2 Come Back Last Year
3 Go With Last
4 Hard Deed
5 A Code
6 Pre-Western Worm
7 Leave It To Ted
8 Low Class High
9 One Two Three Four
10 Subject : Ultra Jerks

DOWNLOAD without complaints HERE!

Guerilla Toss – "Gay Disco" (NNA Tapes – NNA069) 2013

 "Electronic, Rock, Funk / Soul" are the genre's Discogs struggles to classify the music presented here on "Gay Disco" by Guerilla Toss with.....bless their little on the spectrum Record Collector brains.

I've got it in for Record Collectors and Musicians alike,maybe because i'm those despicable things too,and I hate Myself?

It pretty obvious ,if you've read my blurb ,that i certainly don't hate myself, but am uncomfortable at referring to oneself in the first person,which is a definite sign that i'm not a Psycho-path ;but a psychopath would say that wouldn't he?.....whoops i've just switched to the third person? Maybe I am a Psychopath?

That's impossible because Psycho's aren't losers like me,or should I say, like him?

Objectively, i'm also not a loser,but a successfully smug bourgeois property owner....maxed out my credit cards(this is 20 years hence),stiffed some landlords,and moved to the cheapo real estate EU. 

Whence once one believed in the property is theft ideal, until i noticed that rent was more than twice what i would have to pay if I actually owned a house;I now pay zero rent or mortgage,and own my place of work too.

Theft is in fact theft,and Crass realised the same thing...yes Crass are bourgeois property thieves themselves...oh the irony!? One has new found respect of our cuddly Anarchist nemesis's.

Gay Disco, I once thought, was a good name for a band ,envious of the confrontational magic of the "Homosexuals" moniker as i/he was.

Again if you like Melt banana, this is for you.

Basically,It's abstract, noisy , mutant "Electronic, Rock, Funk / Soul"...maybe without the soul bit.Just chuck every genre that ever existed after WW2 into a concrete mixer, and the resulting concrete would sound a bit like this...if concrete was indeed music,which I solemnly believe that it is...HE hath spake.

To quote Crass again..."They'd almost paid their mortgage when the system dropped its Bomb"....now,if there was consciousness after death, that would seriously fuck me/him off!

Tracklist:

A1 Trash Bed 4:43
A2 Pink Elephant 4:41
A3 Operate 6:07
B4 Sugar Better 4:49
B5 Club Kids 5:10
B6 Gay Disco 3:58

DOWNLOAD and have a gay time HERE!

Guerilla Toss – "Gorilla Toss" (Tzadik – TZ 7807) 2013

I did say i'd put something that sounded like Melt-Banana by Guerilla Toss on here....so this is it.With executive producer credits appropriated by John Zorn.

Improv noise,kerazzzy time signatures and abstract song structures with a 'Punk Rock Ethic that verges on madness'....obviously not my words,and one has to Question the punk rock ethic of being as prog as fuck.

Extreme and absolutely essential for anyone interested in the outer edges of creativity....so says a Tzadik executive.

Yeah,basically 'it sounds like Melt-Banana' is what he's trying to say.....not that that's a bad thing.

Tracklist:

1 Cash Now 7:17
2 Scary Monster 4:32
3 Drip Decay 4:29
4 Judy Wants Sex On The News 5:30
5 Diluted Fetus Circuit Tycoon 7:28
6 Liz Tattoo 5:09

DOWNLOAD this face melting banana HERE!

Guerilla Toss – "Young Christian Balls" (Digitalis Limited – Ltd #235) 2012

Guerilla....NOT...Gorilla, Toss. Were/are like an Tribeca version of Melt Banana...but only when they have their Zany Female singer.

Without said singer they turn into some lower Manhattan  abstract progressive jazz group  that could easily attract the ears of arrogant metropolitan elitest John Zorn.

In fact, in 2013 they had an album,with singer, released on Zorn's label;... so that shows what I knoe dunnit~?

Dunno why she (Kassie Karlson) was absent on this one, but she's transforms them into ...er....The Tribeca version of Melt Banana....and whats wrong with that? If you're an cultural exile from the Ghetto listening to the bourgeois   intelligentsia slap themselves on the back by being way-out there,purely because they could. Then there's quite a lot that would annoy you on this cassette.

As for me/moi, i'm bourgeois intelligentsia from the Ghetto myself , and they,the under-clas can fuck themselves.If they could have beat me up everyday as I listened to to arty elitest  nonsense like this, they would have.These fuckers grew up to vote for Brexit and MAGA. Fuck the poor and Fuck the Rich.In their own despicable way they are the same old fucking repression that would love to re-open the labour camps for fools like us.The Intelligentsia and degenerate art is the first target of the pure evil that ejaculates forth from the minds of kids denied opportunities in art simply because they never got the chance. Too stupid to realise they could make their own opportunities....... if only they had someone to blame? 

This comes as I hear that the Russian father of a young girl who drew an anti-war picture in kindergarten,is now on the run escaping an arrest warrant. Putin is a classic example of the bitter psychopath,getting his pathetic revenge on the world that he plans to re-name "Greater Russia" (lol) one day, after their non-existant Satan 2 ICBM's help turn the planet into an survivable irradiated  wasteland......yeah greater Russia indeed.......for want of a better word,even though there aren't many better words in the English Dictionary than......TWAT!

Dag Nabbit! I never got around to talking about some Young Christian's Balls!?...maybe next time huh?

Tracklist:

1 Occupy Ratking
2 Young Christian Balls
3 From Bagpipes To Crackpipes
4 You Slept While I Lingered

DOWNLOAD some young christians balls into your ears EAR!

Duplo Chat – "Duplo Chat" (Moon Mist Music- mmm) 2015

 Ahhhh, a piece for that old standard of the DIY experimental underground.......The badly tuned Radio.

This was probably the first electronic instrument I owned.Short wave was a favourite,but this one sounds more on the Long Wave spectrum,accompanied by a rather oxidated tuning knob.

There may also be either some evidence of cutlery use or a couple of kitchen pans,with stapler in subtle use here too,plus the odd isolated cough among the foggy room ambiance on offer.

The knob handler here is none other than Robert Ridley-Shackleton,capturing 30 minutes of time that would have otherwise gone un-noticed if no-one had bothered to record it. Of course there will be some people,if can call them 'people', out there, who will wish that he hadn't bothered;but they need to realise that there was a moment that doesn't even have a noun, or even a pro-noun, when Time didn't exist,as it still doesn't somewhere beyond the event horizon of a super massive black hole.This is in fact a recording of the microwave background left behind by the singularity which we now call 'the Big Bang',an echo of a time before time if you will.

There is some doubt as to the uniqueness of this singularity,so there may be plenty,if not infinite, versions of this C-30 cassette existing in places that neither light nor time will ever reach us as we accelerate,expanding into the vast darkness of space/time.A mystery we will only understand on our death beds......if you're lucky enough to die in bed that is.Be also aware that the laws of quantum Physics also suggest that in at least one of these realities, there will be a 'God',so let's hope it's not this one,or we're all fucked by his/her pathetic need for vengeance, and there will be a whole bunch of unspeakably awful Red Necks taunting us smart arses from behind the pearly gates as we get channeled, by a laughing Putin and Trump kicking our arses towards the 'other place'.Which I guess does have its own rewards.At least the only bible bashers we will encounter in this imaginary Hell would be peadophile priests,and and followers of non mono-theistic religions such as Hunduism,celebrity-ism,and Paganism.Non-Mono's we will call them.

All this and more, captured within the static and oxidized rheostats of a transistor radio...who'd have thought it?

Tracklist:

1.Side A

2.Side B 

DOWNLOAD some digital duplo bricks of radio static HERE!

Territorial Gobbing – "Capitalist Art Is Cartoons Fucking" (Opal Tapes – OPAL161) 2019

Leeds' least favourite dada noise improv thing, it says on his (Theo Gowens) website.And there's me thinking Territorial Gobbing was Leeds' fourth favourite dada noise improv thing;not that I can name the other three in the top four.But maybe fourth place is also last place automatically making the original statement very very true,and ,again, I am very very wrong.Ah well, Art,capitalist or otherwise, isn't about league tables anyway is it? After all, there are many musical genres that anyone would be very proud to be in last place of,or in first place if that particular table happens to be 'Least Favourite'.Something that Leeds is very used to concerning their Football fans, as has been noted earlier in this blog.

However, even within the dark community of improvised dada-ist noise,there are very few brave enough to ask the big questions.

"Are Militant Atheists Using Chemtrails To Poison The Angels Of Heaven" being one of them.

Never one to shy away from bat-shit crazy conspiracy truthisms,and a former militant Atheist,I would say the likelihood of chemtrails being anything other than the harmless vapour trails that have appeared behind aircraft engines since the second world war,is extremely negligible.Bill gates is, sadly, NOT attempting to reduce the world population by spraying an un-identified chemical over the western world,presumably letting africa off??. Also it is looking increasingly likely that we will save Bill the trouble, by starting that long promised Nuclear conflict we are all eagerly waiting for.

The ultimate answer for this question that is on everybody's lips(not) is childishly simple.......go fuck yerselves you toxically paranoid carriers of a terminal internet sickness and fucking DIE!

There is a very convincing argument that the World Wide Web should be shut down....no not the existence of this blog you bastards!....the conspiracy theory of everything, is one, seeding a perfect storm with the gender fluid re-education that is fucking up Generation Y (Why?).

If there is a conspiracy going on, its this AI tech turning on its creators ,the HAL 9000 syndrome.Our quantum enabled machinery has found the perfect way to remove the human element, alternative Facts and post-Truth are turning us into a bunch of asexual, gender fluid, aggressively paranoid Twats,who's approach to the Climate emergency is to increase carbon emissions, and become rapidly extinct. Guess who doesn't care if the atmosphere of the planet is fucked or not...yep...our Quantum Computer chums.Never trust a technology that doesn't work if you're observing it;a place where the word Binary doesn't involve gender identity panic,it's the ruthless computer language that is inevitably planning humanity's downfall.Oxygen's for snowflake and the next stage of evolution is upon us....have i said this shit before?.....just ignore me,have panic sex if you want to,but we're doomed and there's no point in banging on about it...lets Boogie!

Tracklist:

A1 Tooth Orb
A2 Are Militant Atheists Using Chemtrails To Poison The Angels Of Heaven
A3 Armpit Beer
A4 Shaking A Wren
B1 Upholstered Chair Guevara
B2 Necknominator
B3 Spooky Electrics Blog
B4 Raw Plastics
B5 Feeding The Hand That Feed You Hands Hands

DOWNLOAD some fucking gender neutral capitalists HERE!

Egg, Eggs – "The Cleansing Power Of Fruit" (Feeding Tube Records – FTR073) 2013

While we're on the Eggs theme,These Eggy guys and gals sound like they're on Drugs....not the kind of 'On Drugs' that totally dull tossers like The Grateful Dead subscribe to, but actually sounding like someone who is 'on Drugs' should sound like.No endless Guitar solo's, psychedelic poetry and crap like that,It's effortlessly unhinged and ineloquent, especially the padded cell vocals,with words like they were written during a lazy afternoon spent in a straitjacket. Was there ever a mass break out from the loony-bin on Rhode Island (where they're from) ever? If there was this is the soundtrack to it....wonderful. 

These guy's must be on Drug,Drugs? Which is why this incredibly unpopular record is probably one of ones few bestest records of the last decade or so.It seems to have separate tracks ,slash, songs,but they're merged together to make two sides of continuous crazed roll'n'rock, beamed directly from Nutsville,Mars.

If a bearded middle aged man repeatedly squealing "I will be the princess of the night" over a backing of overloaded and brutal free Rock as played in a cement mixer full of bricks is your kinda kick,then this should be 45 minutes of sheer bliss.If that sounds like an unlistenable waste of turntable time to you, then what the hell are you doing here!?

"Disco Dancing with the Albino Bigot"?....I doubt it.

That was a rhetorical question.

There are a few 'Woke' alerts such as the Albino and crippled little girl references on this disc;I wouldn't expect anything less for my 14 Dollars plus post and packaging....would you? It should get anyone who's trapped in the wrong body suitably outraged for at least a fortnight.I reserve my right to offend anybody....equally.

Tracklist:

1. Side A
2. Side B

DOWNLOAD and purge your musical bowels with the fruit of the Egg HERE!

Robert Ridley-Shackleton – "Shut Up Egg" (Self-Released C-30) 2011

The absurdist prince of cardboard funk has less lovely Eggs to poach here which makes The Lovely Eggs themselves sound like Pat Methany in comparison.

Zero-fi and child-like,you will be forgiven in thinking that this was a clandestine recording made at the music therapy day-center for Kidults with learning difficulties.

Is this Outsider Art? Or a neo-Dadaist approach to sound collage,inspired by  Huge-o Balls.

No prizes for guessing that RRS is yet another demented Bristolian trying to eliminate the shame of being in the home town of Massive Attack. Maybe these extremely dull Trip Hoppers are represented by the Egg,as we ALL would like them to shut up,.....permanent like!

Presenting an image not unlike a member of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers gone even more wrong, with a degenerative wasting disease. RRS is the latest in a long line of completely mental musical eccentrics that Britain seems to effortlessly produce with considerable ease.

He either can't get a Girlfriend, or he has a Girlfriend...either way,he's Fucked, or not fucked?! Trapped in vicious circular mental torture specific to heterosexual males that lead to a special kind of beta-male torture like this. Make a cassette called Shut Up Egg or just...well....Give Up.Not something British Legend,and RRS namesake, Earnest Shackleton ever considered during his incredible escape from certain death in the antarctic,almost single handedly saving his crew from a slow death on Elephant Island in the south Atlantic.....maybe RRS is a distant relative,which would explain why he behaves as if he is still stranded on a small rocky outcrop in the antarctic hinterland,surviving on a diet of Penguins and piss.

 

RRS...Not an outsider? and definitely NOT in the Red Hot Chilli Peppers?

With a production rate that puts Jandek in the shade, you can part with some of your hard earned spondulicks at his Bandcamp site for dozens of one take madnesses spread over several formats for around three english pounds a go. A cheaper way of spending time that you will never get back I would be struggling to imagine.

Tracklist:

A1 Shut Up Egg
A2 Coconut Bird Crazy
A3 Flabjack
B1 Silly Little Poochie
B2 Poor Old Humpty

Download and shut that egg up HERE!
Download this and a lot more from the cardboard prince of card funk himself HERE!.....you'll have to pay for it though kidz!

Paul Kelday – "One Dimensional" (UFO Mongo – UFOMONGO 007) 2006

'Big in Sweden' isn't usually a subject that is risen in many conversations,and it doesn't even really apply to Paul Kelday;but, he seems to have an audience in the land of ABBA,Ikea and Volvo's,no matter how small. There have been a couple of post disappearance compilations of Paul's work that have materialised in the Swedish part of the Scandinavian peninsula. This "One Dimensional" release being one of them,but,uniquely for Kelday,it's on vinyl,.....300 copies of it.

Most of the material has only been available on tapes before but exists here in different mixes than previously released,and a few of them are even exclusive.Whoopee-doo.

I guess Lp's are as close to one dimension as you're gonna get in music enregistration.The other side is not visible,so doesn't exist until you turn it over,and viewed edge on, its just a black line hanging in a defined space.....unless its pressed on coloured vinyl,or as some clever dicks have certainly done before, on invisible vinyl.Place the disc out of sight,and the only clue of its existence is if it's playing,emitting a collection of waves.The nature of a wave is such that it can exist in more than one place at any given time and are invisible,detected by the Brain which then creates its own music based on the waves it receives.As we are all related,we hear the same thing ,which we have lumbered with the tag of "music".Whether lizards or virus's have this ability is up for debate,but one thing is certain,Music doesn't exist without the listener,and,the mammalian brain.

They're Big in Sweden I gather.....mammalian brains?

Tracklist:

A1 One Dimensional 4:01
A2 Emerge From Nothingness 4:44
A3 Short Stay In The Garden Of Optimism 3:45
A4 Plight Of The Butterfly Of Peace In The Web Of Hatred 3:00
A5 Doomsday 3:06
A6 Comet 3:15
A7 One Dimensional (Outro) 2:02
B1 Dehumanization Process 2:59
B2 Gorgon 5:11
B3 Trance 4:02
B4 Cry For The Moon 5:05
B5 Untill The End Of Time 3:38
B6 Bonus Track 0:54

DOWNLOAD sound waves for the mammalian brain HERE!

Zweistein – "Trip • Flip Οut • Meditation" (Philips – 6630 002) 1970

One always detects the odours associated with a prison camp latrine when the words "Triple Album" are mentioned. This so-called,'Kraut Classic', being one of them, and unbelievably rivaling The Clash's "Sandinista" as the most irritating and pretentious of the genre. Even Holgar Czukay would have struggled to edit this 100+ minute fuck about down to anything more than five minutes of  BBC Radiophonic Workshop out-takes for a kiddies sci-fi TV outing. There's also something of the Ron Geesin about it,and probably even more irritating than that!?...if that's possible. It also treads that narrow path of failed attempts at 'Humour' in pop.That coupled with the fact that it was made by some krazee Germans on LSD ja!?, naturally means proceed with caution at the best of times.War guilt has a fuck of a lot to answer for. 

"Vee are not zat bad after all,ja Englander? Ve are KRAYZEE MUTTER FUCKERS! Not only zat, ve izt Krazee mutter fuckers viz a reverb unit and a backwards running tape recorder"

I dunno if this is on the trainspotters guide to the Nurse With Wound List again,but it sounds like it should be. Virtually any crap made in Germany from 1970 is already,so why make an exception with this one,even if it is scraping the bottom of the latrine?

It's got a freaky cover anyhow,so for that reason alone it's worth having in your record collection...just never play the fucker is all.

I guess this is an ill-advised attempt at describing some kind of silly acid trip nonsense,but missing the undoubted charms of Dr Timothy Leary.

Tracklist:

In 21:30
A1 Beginning
A2 Analysis Of Tune
A3 To Hear Inside
A4 A Very Simple Song

Out 18:00
B1 Misty Tour
B2 Water Sound
B3 Television
B4 Organ Dreams (A Very Simple Song)

Wrong 18:37
C1 Childrens' Golden Garden
C2 To Become A Child
C3 Children's Golden Garden

Right 17:57
D1 Everything Returns
D2 Indian Child
D3 The Theory Of Relativity

Point 18:47
E1 Atomical Fantasy (Electronic)
E2 Incarnation
E3 Childhood's Church
E4 Life Train
E5 Dream Of Love And Death
E6 Atomical Fantasy

Circle 15:09
F1 A Verdi's Soul Born Again
F2 Mind Beat
F3 Himalaya's Way
F4 Heaven Bridge
F5 Out Of Time
F6 Atomical Fade Out

DOWNLOAD drei disk von eins zwei dreistein HERE!

Seesselberg – "Synthetik 1" (Seesselberg Self-released)

 Oh Christ!.....this is on the Nurse With Wound List...Groan! It's one of those self-released German Electronic avant-garde albums,but this time without structure.This has more in common with the Early electronics of the fifties and sixties than Tangerine Dream or any of the tuneful Kosmiche Kraut musiks of the 1970's. Yeah that's right it gets on your tits....but don't show it or your 'I'm weird I am' cred will lose half a star. 

We're always being judged these days,whether its as a Host on Air B'n'B,or a struggling craftsman on Etsy, (like moi!),or, be it by your Weird mates, who obsess over the ultimate in binaural trainspotting, The fucking Nurse With Wound List. If you don't dig this then you're out of the klub.

This could have easily been the soundtrack to "The Andromeda Strain 2" when Sylvester Stallone, as Rambo, napalms the shit out of that mother fucking virus from outer space, annihilating at the same time half of China and Russia...the new, but old, communism. Goddam Atheists!

This album is of that ilk where the creatures higher up the evolutionary ladder,humans, try to sound like a couple of chimps let lose on a bunch of synthesizers,and is recorded,packaged and sold back to the higher apes who think they are intellectually superior to most everyone.....even chimps. Humans are rather arrogant creatures,who think that they have been chosen by an even higher being to receive eternal life!? The lower apes would never waste their time on such a concept.The answer to life is have a good time....allll the time (Viv Savage, Spinal Tap). So does this mean that the highest form of music is actually Hair Metal, and not random oscillator manipulation that considers itself from a loftier perch on the art chart than Motley Crue? Surely not?

Chimps show little or no interest in either medium.

Does that make me a chimp, or did anyone spot my thinly disguised overtures to Nurse With Wounds fans? Please let me join your Klub!

Did that sound suitably desperate?

Tracklist:

A1 Ouvertüre - "Jeder Ist Heutzutage Glücklich" - If Someone Survives, We Will Have A Return - Match. (Konditionsmusik - 1972) 3:41
A2 Eintrachtkreis-Paranoia (Die 200jahrfeier Findet Nicht Statt - Kondominatsmusik - 1973) 1:02
A3 Verhütungsfreudenwalzer (Kontinenzmusik Für Eine Akademie 1973) 1:27
A4 Speedy Achmed (Verhaltensanweisung 1973) 3:46
A5 Studentenzucker - "Tue Gern, Was Du Tun Mußt!" (Konfektionsmusik 1973) 0:36
A6 "Die Menschen Sind Glücklich, Sie Kriegen, Was Sie Begehren, Und Begehren Nichts, Was Sie Nicht Kriegen Können - Laubsägebastler, Briefmarkensammler Und Brieftaubenzüchter Bilden Das Rückgrat Der Menschheit" (Kondolenzmusik 1973) 10:42
B1 Phönix - 1972 (Filmmusik Zum Film "Phönix" von W.-J. Seesselberg) 10:14
B2 "Was Dir Heute Freude Macht, Das Verschieb Nicht Über Nacht!" (Kondensmusik Aus Einem Konzert Im Gallery-House London - 1973) 4:16
B3 Auszug Aus Einem Konzert In Der Düsseldorfer Kunsthalle 1971

DOWNLOAD synthetikally HERE!

Various Artists - "Tokyo Flashback 7" (P.S.F. Records ‎– PSFD-189) 2009

An essential document....it reckons... of the psychedelic,.....it says here,..... improvisation scene that existed in the deepest catacombs of the Tokyo underground in 2009! Includes live performances by six of the scene's most ungrooviest groups. Recorded live at the legendary Koenji Show Boat venue in Tokyo on May 31, 2009.

Included here mainly for 'Derakushi', which features your scribes' current favourite guitar wielder Kuzuha, who would go on to even greater things as part of Self-Deconstruction,Japan's premier female Power Violence trio.

Tracklist:

01 Le Son de L'os - "Still Water"

02 Bon-No-Kubo - "Untitled"

03 Derakushi - "Red Shoes"

04 Sabo Orimo unit - "Inochi"

05 Touyounomajyo - "White Light Spear"

06 Hasegawa-Shizuo - "Gray ray"

DOWNLOAD a psychedelic flashback from way back in 2009 HERE!

Orphan Fairytale ‎– "Ladybird Labyrinth" (Ultra Eczema ‎– Ultra Eczema 67) 2009

 As it turns out, Ultra Eczema is a rather splendidly good label....I mean they released a vinyl Preggy Peggy album!!?

I like the album cover for this one, a psuedo for one Belgian Bird,Eva Van Deuren, who tinkles menacingly on her keyboards,and electronic gear, to make sinister soundtracks for imaginary kids programes.

The tunes remind me of the discomfort one felt when re-watchig "The Singing Ringing Tree",(East Germany's Greatest moment?), or sitting cross legged on the floor in the assembly hall,watching ITV 's programmes for schools..the most creepy being "Picture Box", especially that theme tune!

Good cover, good tunes, good record,good label.....not said that for a long time.Love you all XX.

Tracklist:

A1 Phantom Shapes
A2 Happy Go Lucky
A3 Crybaby Needs A Hanky
B1 Bubble Memory
B2 Glorious High

DOWNLOAD an orphans eczema HERE!

Preggy Peggy & The Lazy Babymakers ‎– "Get An Ace Case Of The Measles" (Ultra Eczema 63) 2008

Preggy Peggy and her be-tracksuited albanian boyfriends or boy fiends, the odd well hung swarthy babymaker,undoubtedly called Mongo, respendant in his bulging Lee Cooper stone-washed jeans.An item worth killing for in Enva Hoxha's Albania.Mongo's thick set monobrow frames a stare that suggests he did kill for those jeans;an act he called,or rather grunted, 'Going Shopping' back in the motherland....am I being Racist again?...probably, but this is how I imagine this anonymous collective if they existed in real life, and I'll shout down anyone who tries to trouble me with 'Facts', alternative or otherwise. I don't wanna know who they are thanks,and leave me with my ill-advised fantasy. I'm still scarred by Bill Drummonds recounted Residents' Mole Show experience when he noticed a thick wad of long curly hair pertruding from underneath one of the eyeball heads. This couldn't be true,surely?But now ,with the culture diluting...am i being racist again????....well at least uncomfortably right wing ,for which i apologise......where was I?...Ah Yes, the culture diluting Internet, revealing the identities of the Residents as an example of the Myth Busting of the gossip obsessed porn addicts that this 'Future' is populated with.Shit innit?

The cover is reminding me of the moment when my Daughter entered this world.An event commonly referred to as "Beautiful",rather than the horrific and painful thing it truly is.Like something out of Hellraiser!If ever a moment confirmed what i had already suspected, that there is no god, this was IT! Using flowery language to describe this,and other, reality confirming events ,transforms them into something Happy and full of the beauty of life. Its, in fact, the oldest usage of Alternative Facts as a political weapon in the long history of lying to oneself. I notice that "Beautiful" is one of ex-president's Donald Trump's favorite words from his very limited vocabulary. This is NO coincidence!

Somehow ,some Belgian chap decided to release a 'proper' vinyl record of Preggy Peg!? Thankfully it keeps up the high standard of abstract Industrial Pop as viewed through a kaleidoscope dunked in shit that we came to expect from them. Beautiful!?

Tracklist:

A1 Come Ravage The Rice In My Rug
A2 Shep Makes Coffee
A3 How So Ever Far
A4 Not A Dry Eye In G-Unit
B1 Amonia Blud
B2 Legs N.Ahll & "Lucky" Lester Lickley Meet Sammy The One-Eyed Pirate... In The Dark !
B3 Play Meaty For Me
B4 Buttermouthed Buckslappers Of Fu Manchu
B5 Saul Peels An Onion
B6 The Circle With A Hole In The Middle

DOWNLOAD and hear the beauty HERE!