Various Artists - "Spoke : New Scottish Voices" (Bletherink ) 2000

Not sure that Ivor Cutler would approve of these potty mouthed anarchists but,staying in spoken word Scotland,here we have some sweary scottish realists from the year 2000.Sounds like a title of some bad horror movie doesn't it?

A cosmopolitan stew of (mostly) Glasgow-based writers captures the excitement of the spoken word scene in Scotland at the turn of the century. Bletherers include Bobby Christie, Anne Donovan, Jim Ferguson and Nick E Melville.And don't expect a torrent of Scottish accents either as there are a few interlopers. Sassanachs with a barely hidden west midlands drawl talk about drugs and alcoholism. 

The Trainspotting stain on the imternational Scottish image, is further enhanced here unfortunately.The stench of Buckfast and vomit was becoming a cliché by the turn of the millenium;but at least this stuff doen't make it sound exciting,with Iggy Pop(as big a prat as he is) as a soundtrack to an overdose or a painful withdrawl.Wow! Smack Yeah! Say YO to drugs!

Say NO to Catholicism,just a smidgen less,....well..maybe more actually,.... horrific than Drug abuse,which rears the grotesque head of sectarianism and the dream crushing millstone of Catholic Guilt.
Sug Hanlan's epic poem about "The Song That Started In The Middle Of The Bus", is an 'Ancient Mariner' of our times.Providing a microcosm of Scottish culture to firmly bury the spectre of cabre tossing in kilts with no underpants,prancing round swords while playing bagpipes and eating raw freshly killed Haggis.This is a world of unfulfilled,but modest dreams, like thrashing England at footy.Giving someone a good kicking,especially England Fans,and maybe even receiving a good kicking,depending on how pished you were.But In the midst of all this hopelessnes there sprung a glint of hope....a song that brought everyone on the Hampden park special together.Everyone was united in their hatred of the royal family and Maggie Thatcher,who turned us all into Prostitutes.Of course there is always one character who's to far gone to reach.

Chic,or Chick,depending on how you spell it,was the really mental character on the Bus.It must be something to do with the name because he reminds me of a nutter, also called Chick, whom i had the questionable privilege to meet in Bellshill one christmas;which is, for those who are blissfully unaware,is a cheerless satelite town on the outskirts of Glasgow.He was adamant that Marc Almond owed him a million quid,because it was Chick who wrote all those fucking songs, d'yer ken? Including, I may add, 'Tainted Fucking Love"!!!....chic, or Chick, had added that extra pronoun in the title himself. I didn't dare point out that someone else had actually written 'Tainted fucking Love',and that 'fucking poof Almond' didn't actually owe him for that one. "Say Hello Wave Goodbye" yes, but his biggest hit.....no? I heard later, that Chick, or Chic, or Charles, had indeed 'waved Goodbye' after he set his squat on fire whilest off his tits on a cocktail of drugs and booze,succumbing to the flames.Marc Almond was too busy to comment.

(Shug Hanlan also wrote a short story that uniquely combines working on an Oil Rig and Prog Rock....sounds like hell ,but anyone who can combine those two subjects needs checking out....Check out more of Shugs literary works at his website HERE!)

Tracklist:

1. "Modern Glasgow Love Poem" - Jim Ferguson

2. "Wodduwoy Need With It?" - Sam Trainor

3. "Wet Your Whistle:A Translation From The Drunk" - Sam Trainor

4. "Mrs Cloud Says" - Anne Donovan

5. "Concerning My Refrigerator" - Edward Clapp

6. "The River" - Edward Clapp

7. "The Sun Has Got His Hat On" - Laura Marney

8. "Post Off" - Nick E. Melville

9. "Understanding Wimmin#2" - Nick E. Melville
10. "Good Head" - Nick E. Melville

11. "The Food On Chippsay Troy" - Nick E. Melville

12. "The Anti-Royal Mail Man" - Nick E. Melville

13. "Train Train" - Bobby Christie

14. "Varanais Punk" - Bobby Christie

15. "The Song That Started In The Middle Of The Bus" -Shug Hanlon

15a."Mystery Track"

DOWNLOAD from up there HERE!

Sai Baba ‎– "Embodiment Of Love" (Premasound ‎– PS 108) 2000

As previously stated, Alice Coltrane bore a passing resemblance to Cult leader and serial pervert Shri Sathya Sai Baba. He also shared another trait with the lovely Alice, in the fact that he made records of his incredibly creepy devotional music.
This is a common behaviour within the world of the cult leader. David Koresh, Chuck manson and Rev Jim Jones all have records out there, but I think our Sai made the creepiest ones.Just waiting for some Islamic State albums to hit the market,and I'll be happy.
Sai's sexual crimes have been well documented,and looking at the album cover you have to wonder what the fuck is he doing with his hands?.......he looks like he's wanking off to me!?
With a specific taste in deflowering young boys, "The Embodiment Of Love", the album's title, forced a little bit of my stomach contents back into my mouth.In the case of some of his younger followers,I dread to think what their stomach contents were after visting the holy one in his personal tent!?
It's all Alice Coltranes fault,but i feel a detour into the creepy land of Cult music coming on......and I don't mean 'The Cult', i mean religious and hippie Doomsday cults.....so expect some Amon Duul,Chuck Manson and The Church Universal and Triumphant with Rev Elizabeth Claire.If you thought the music you like was weird,this stuff is a special kind of fresh madness.

Tracklist:

1 Khanda Kandânthara 5:27
2 Muralî Gâna Lola 8:52
3 Jânedu 2:54
4 Sarva Velala 9:12
5 Sathya Dharma Prema 6:39
6 Anthuleka 3:22
7 Na Punyam Bhauya Manasu 11:02
8 Viswasânthini 4:13
9 Gayatri Mantra 5:07

DOWNLOAD from the wandering fingers of Sai baba and his creepy cult member HERE! 

Various Artists ‎– "Naked In The Afternoon : A Tribute To Jandek" (Summersteps Records ‎– SUM0010) 2000

You've heard everything Jandek has commited to tape,so now we have the 'Tribute'!?
As is par for the course with these, usually, truly awful arrays of third division Indie bands, this has a few listenable tracks....ie once, and a slew of stuff that totally misses the point of the person,or persons, who are being lionised.
For most of these acts, this was about who will win the fight to cover 'Nancy Sings', which is probably thee only actual song that Jandek has ever 'written'.....and that was patently accidental.
This was inexplicably won by some ernest young men with facial hair called Ivory Elephant?.....Who?
It would have been a far better idea to appeal to genuine misfits/outsiders who have never heard,or heard of Jandek to give their impressions of what the Corwood Representative is all about, because this rainbow of 'Normals' haven't got a clue. It takes years of isolation to understand what Jandek's music is really about.
I should imagine various Jandek albums are essential additions to the Hipsters record bag, ready to whip out at the fair trade coffee shop. Beard, Check, Short back and sides, check, copy of 'Blue Corpse', double check!
There's something unsavoury about rock stars wearing Daniel Johnston T-shirts or dropping hints about how R. Stevie Moore influenced their hit.Then, of course, Jandek will be mentioned as a pointer to how weird they are(n't).Then they make music to be liked by, as if they have never listened to any of these artists at all......Fuck I just noticed Thurston Moore guests on track 2*!.....is there any 'left-field' album he doesn't guest on post Sonic Youth/Marrige breakdown? There's also the obligatory downtown NYC underground artist,in this case Amy Denio, seeing the 'Art' in Jandek.
Its not unlike Nigel Tufnel in Spinal Tap saying how Mozart really influenced his composition called "Suck My Love Pump".
Also,I notice that they managed to get 'Low' to do a track,I've heard of them.Once thought they were pretty good until i watched a documentary about them, and found out that they were exceedingly Normal,Nice, and completely fucking boring as people.......maybe this was the intention, but it put me off......I'm as fickle as fuck, and proud of it.

Tracklist:

1 –Peter Weiss And Brian Charles - Quinn Boys II 4:33
2 –Dapper - Painted My Teeth 4:15*
3 –The Couple Scene - Babe I Love You 2:24
4 –Retsin - New Town 6:06
5 –Cassie Rose And The Pickled Punks - Spanish In Me 2:02
6 –The Choppers - Twenty Four 2:49
7 –Low - Carnival Queen 5:10
8 –Ho Chen Keit - Harmonica 4:49
9 –Kid Icarus - She Fell Down 3:40
10 –The Early Morning Initials - Remain The Same 1:04
11 –Gary Young - Take It Easy 2:52
12 –Psychatrone Rhonedakk - The I Woke Up Medley 3:49
13 –Ivory Elephant - Nancy Sings 3:24
14 –Las Vegas On Mars - Janitor's Dead 3:47
15 –The Goblins - War Dance 1:22
16 –Amasa - Sailors 2:48
17 –Monster Island - Road To Corwood / Lost Cause 2:39
18 –The Storkettes - Cave In On You 3:29
19 –Pipes You See, Pipes You Don't - Jessica 3:14
20 –Bright Eyes - Have You Ever Heard Of Jandek ? 3:46
21 –Amy Denio - Your Condition 9:25

DOWNLOAD and get naked HERE!

Die Trip Computer Die - "Flowerball" (Self- Released Cd-r) 2000

Yet another unreleased samplerdelic musique concrete underground classic from Whelton and the lads.Up to their usual standards of 'out-there-ness'.Its so obscure i'm not sure the band know of its existence. Therfore it qualifies under the famed N.Senada's (see 'Not Available' by The Residents) 'Theory of Obscurity' dogma as now releasable.

Tracklist:

01 System of the Tortured
02 Gestations
03 A Bad Idea
04 In Bed With 1000 Priests
05 Seductive Song of War
06 Messrs Smirkett & Bloat
07 Fink Drummer
08 Chief-Inspector Kickback
09 Contains Psychological
10 Goodbye Again
11 Every 'Why' Is A 'How'
12 The Naked Statue
13 Roll, Frankie Roll
14 A Short Film About Gas
15 Flowerball

DOWNLOAD a bouquet of freaky flowers HERE!

Rudimentary Peni ‎– "The Underclass EP" (Outer Himalayan Records ‎– booboo7) 2000

You know what?.....this is more like it. Proper no nonsense punk metal, with a guitar sound like a buzzsaw cutting through a corrupt bankers crushed stone driveway. Topped off with Blinko's best gravel gargling vocals since 'Cacophony'; and great psychotic scribbled on padded cell toilet paper artwork. All the songs are between 58 seconds and one minute thirty in length, so they never overstay their welcome, and in some cases fit into the 'Leave 'em wanting more' slot from the annals (or anals) of 'Showbiz'. I think i could listen to the riff for "No Other Truth" for a good twenty minutes, with no need for extra vocals.......this is always a concept i have always wanted to explore musically, a bit like a heavy metal Circle*(*the finnish group who explored the magic of repetition to the nth degree).
As this RP EP only lasts less than fifteen minutes, that concept interests me more.......is a song as long as a piece of string, and if so do they merely 'end', or just 'stop'? And when they stop or end, does the effect end or stop with them.Music's magick can be truly infinite in the sonic chapter of the 'Theory of Relativity': Energy = mass divided by the speed of sound squared or E=mc2( i looked up the mathematical synbol for the speed of sound, and it was the same as for the speed of light!); so the faster the song moves the more time distorts, and bends back in on itself.Therefore are short songs really short? And would they exist if we weren't here to listen to them; for they are just different wavelengths of air movement, and you sure as hell can't listen to a movement of air pressure without a brain to create the language to understand it. Language is a virus and music is a language.
What i'm saying is, short songs may end, but their effect can last many times longer than their actual acknowledged length,like a microcosm of curved space/time in your Brain,which is the only place that music, or non-music, actually exists.

Tracklist:

A1 Captive Of Atrophy
A2 No Other Truth
A3 Essence
A4 Bequest
A5 The Mirror
A6 The Underclass
B1 Unchanged
B2 As Nothing
B3 Choice Of Evils
B4 The Internal Censor
B5 The Ocean Of Misery
B6 Clandestine Harem

DOWNLOAD some relatively short punk metal tunes HERE!

Reynols ‎– "Blank Tapes" (Trente Oiseaux ‎– TOC 002) 2000

Firstlyly, here's my review of this CD:

"(___________________________________)"

Secondlyly,
don't expect this to sound like 'norma'l Reynols,if that word applies to this great group.

Thirdlyly,
as Google Drive decided to suspend my files for 24 hours(should be ok now?) without warning or prior notice yesterday for being too popular, this "Blank collection of Tape Hiss is a very appropriate statement. A blank download for you to fill in the space for yourselves.

Third and a halflyly,
If you like Tape Hiss check out The New Blockaders classic "Epater Les Bourgeois"  .

Fourthly,
DOWNLOAD (_______________________) from mediafire HERE!
or
by GOOGLE(_____________________________)DRIVE, HERE?

Reynols ‎– "Barbatrulos" (Freedom From ‎– FF069) 2000

Lets get Downs with the kids!?

There's no greater marketing strategy in music than to make a virtue of a disability, ask Stevie Wonder, Beethoven,Suebo and Ray Charles. Then there's Kilburn and the High Roads; a band that was jam-packed full of physical disability! However, it is pretty rare to have any band member to have a genetic learning disability such as Down's Syndrome. Devo did write a song about it once, with the non-pc title of 'Mongoloid'; the hero of which 'brought home the bacon so that no-one knew'!

But,everybody knows by now that Reynols is a trio of Argentinian nutters led by Down's Syndrome-afflicted drummer/vocalist Miguel Tomasin (their name was chosen randomly by a chihuahua walking on a TV remote control unit: Burt Reynolds appeared on the screen – losing the "d" after threats of legal action...allegedly?), whose releases include a "Dematerialized CD" (i.e. an empty box), a recording of 10,000 chickens in a battery farm, and an album of treated tape hiss for Bernhard Günter's trente oiseaux label (“Blank Tapes), not totally original,(check out The New Blockaders' “Epater les Bourgeois” cassette) but very 'Wacky' indeed?

Once nearly arrested in Buenos Aires (on the grounds that they might reflect a negative image of

Argentina) for plugging their axes into pumpkins, the trio caught the attention of the new music media with "Pauline Oliveros in the Arms of Reynols", which brought them an invitation to play a seven-hour Lincoln Center concert with Pauline herself. All of this is well-known, but what about the music?

The "Barbatrulos" album, recorded in 1997 and 1998, sounds like an outsider Glenn Branca on downers, playing free form improvised droning guitar noise,backed by the Prats rhythm section;with a person who grew up, abandoned as a baby,locked in a cupboard on a desert island, singing in a language only he speaks. There are no track titles,because "they went to buy osobuco [sic] to feed (their) chihuahua."..?

I'm half-tempted to learn Spanish, or Gibberish,just to be able to figure out what Tomasin is on about (though I'm not sure it would help much).

There are,hopefully, hundreds, maybe thousands, of people hidden away in garages and bedrooms all over the world making this kind of noise, or something like it.

Whether Reynols' undoubted knack for self-publicity makes their musical output more worthy of attention is debatable, but in today's superficial 'Beauty' 'Sex' and celebrity obsessed world, it's rather comforting to know that these 'wrong' people are out there. And out there they certainly are. Way Out There!

Tracklist:

	Alclorse Mogal
A1	Untitled
A2	Untitled
A3	Untitled
A4	Untitled
A5	Untitled
A6	Untitled
	Bolomo
B1	Untitled
B2	Untitled
B3	Untitled
B4	Untitled
B5	Untitled
B6	Untitled

DOWN's LOAD this syndrome HERE!
or
alternate DOWNS here!

Keiji Haino & Derek Bailey ‎– "Songs" (Incus Records ‎– CD 40) 2000

Thanks to Jan Maarten, we now have the Haino/ Bailey collaboration.A true gent.On behalf of all, we bring you gratitude in bucketfuls.

Two guitar hero's that are as far removed from Jimmy Page, and those other incredibly boring standard axe wielders, than you can imagine.
This is like taking any guitar solo from the first fifty years of Rock music, feeding it through a hardcore pulverising unit, and separating the dust and the shards, gluing them to a music box cylinder, playing it once, before smashing it with a sledgehammer.
It has NOTHING to do with conventional guitar traditions whatsoever!
Haino's vocalising is similarly split into micro-syllables and splinters of words that seem to mimic its six string equivalent, and vice versa.
If in your world, Jimi Hendrix was from Mars, then this is from an exo-planet sucked through a wormhole from an anti-universe somewhere that barely exists.

Tracklist:

1 Yume Ga Ichiban Muchi
2 25 No Seimeitai
3 Aru Kanashika No Juni
4 2 To Mugen No Torihiki
5 Zen'i No Yokubo
6 Boka Ga Nejirekireru To Ai
7 Zureteyuku No Ha Watashi, Soretomo Ima
8 Ten To Tomo Ni Ishoni Itagaru Shugo
9 Egatai Kanashimi O Te Ni Ireta
10 Chotto Burusu Ni Aisatsu
11 Kotaerarenai Hazu Na No Ni
12 Ichi O Tashikamete Kara...
13 Fukuzatsu To Iu Zurusa
14 Tsumasaki Kara No Keikoku

15 Kikiakasarerarenai Koto
16 Massugu Tte Kore De Ii No?
DOWNLOAD some songs HERE!

Jandek ‎– "Put My Dream On This Planet" (Corwood Industries ‎– Corwood 0767)

Jandek throws another curve ball! Out go the drums,electric guitar, acoustic guitar, the singing, guest artists, leaving just the words. Lots of 'em
Hesitant Fuzzy spoken word monologue's,with hints of unaccompanied singing separated by some rather lengthy periods of complete silence
The subject matter is the usual Jandek themes of Isolation, rejection,and naked soul bearing.This is very weird, rather teenage poetry, but still revealing,and uncomfortable to listen to.In this acapella setting, his emotions run free, and he speaks from painfully deep places.If you’ve ever followed Jandek’s uncomfortable journey into his own head, this is essential listening.”

Tracklist :

1 I Need Your Life 28:43
2 It's Your House 22:14
3 I Went Outside 1:17
DOWNLOAD this dream to your planet HERE!