Alan Watts – "This Is IT" (MEA – LP 1007) 1962

With an album cover that looks like its made with the included graphic design software on your brand new Windows 98 PC, Alan shows us all how to empty rooms as well emptying the after-life with some truly horrible,but hilarious primal screaming,ecstatic chanting, and general middle class tomfoolery that would send your soul banging their ghostly fists  and screaming to be let in at the gates of Hell.Only to be informed that they were already there,and were victims of all that christian,Islamic,Jewish and Buddhist propaganda.The punchline being that the former underworld of eternal punishment was in fact the best place to be post-mortem.In other words This was NOT....IT!

Listening to the opening 'spontaneous musical happening', as Alan calls it, was indeed an experience of great joy on my part.So much so that i simply had to play it again.Hearing university drop outs, expunge all that middle class Caucasian guilt by speaking,or in this case shouting, in tongues to a tabla backbeat, is enough to make one trot along joyously to the nearest new age happening at the local community centre.As well as screaming like a lobotomized buffoon,you can keep one eye open watching your fellow inductees gurning and idiot dancing to a CD of indian percussion.Stifling the wrong kind of laughter.....that is unless they're watching you with one knowing eye open too of course.Which is better,because then you can go down the pub together afterwards and have another laugh.See you next week John?...er...yeah?

No spring chicken in the sixties,Alan Watts (RIP) sported a distinguished Guru look,that proved very successful with the ladies...so I am Told....but not surprised.This blog is full of tiresomely similar stories. I may start a cult....it's an earner,no work involved, and you get laid.....,no strings! What's not to like....oh yeah, the fucking awful music!

I have a trustafarian Belgian friend, who was the victim of some pretty horrific sexual abuse as a child,and he has tried everything new age that has been invented, or will be invented.He's done Ecstatic Dancing, Primal Scream,re-birthing, and south american 'shrooms;his favourite being the very popular fuck-up magnet,the 'Ayahuasca' experience. Suffice to say that all this has helped the flashbacks not one iota ,yet neither has conventional Psychiatry either,so the logical conclusion is to do neither but use the time honoured, and very unfashionable, male method of 'Not Talking About It'. Build a compartment in your mind ,put all the fucking rubbish in there and throw away the triggers.

So my answer to your mental torture is simply to compartmentalize,while playing idiotic proto-hippie nonsense like anything by Alan Watts,and cheer up for fuck's sake! You only live once....and its very short.

There was a box set called "The Essential Alan Watts",released after his migration to eternal paradise in 1973.

I think the word 'Essential' is some-watt un-essential in this context?

The other best track on here is "The End" by the way.

THE END.

Tracklist:

A1 Love You 3:15
A2 Onion Chant 4:40
A3 Gagaku-Ku 0:50
A4 Fingernail Poem 2:20
A5 Umdagumsubudu 7:40
B1 Metamatic Ritual 14:00
B2 The End 6:00

DOWNLOAD it that is this HERE!

Various Artists ‎– "Anthology Of Dutch Electronic Tape Music: Volume 1 (1955-1966)" (Composers' Voice ‎– CV 7803) 1978

On a purely Intellectual note to start off with......TeeHeeHeeeee......His name is Hans Kox...titter titter! Fnar Fnar Kyuk Kyuk!
Well, Hans off yer Kox now,and lets get serious.....Nah!
Like everywhere else,the Dutch think they invented Electronic music,and one has to say,they were pretty close to having a point.
The origin of Electronic music is almost as tiresome an argument as who invented Punk Rock.....but in Punk Rocks' case it was quite clearly England, Not Detroit,Not New York,Not Scotland...England,gottit?
As for coherent electronic composition, it seems,on the whole, to be a French thing, although it turns out that Daphne Oram of the BBC may have trumped Pierre Shaeffer,but it was kept traditionally  Hush Hush in that understated British way.We don't like show-offs over there  y'know?
One thing that the Dutch are world class at however, is Funny Names.

Hans Kox .....gaffaw gaffaw. laff laff!

Tracklist:

Studio Of The Netherlands Radio Union
A1 –Hans Kox - Three Pieces For Electronic Organ 3:48
A2 –Ton De Leeuw - Study 6:47
Studio Of Delft Technical University
A3 –Jan Boerman - Musique Concrète 3:04
A4 –Jaap Spek - Impulses 7:58
A5 –Rudolf Escher - The Long Christmas Dinner 6:15
Philips Studio
B1 –Henk Badings - Cain And Abel 8:57
B2 –Dick Raaijmakers - Piano-Forte 4:56
B3 –Ton De Leeuw - Antiphonie 15:17
Studio Of Utrecht University
C1 –Frits C. Weiland - Studie In Lagen En Impulsen 4:46
C2 –Hans Kox - Cyclophonie III 7:33
C3 –Tom Dissevelt - Fantasy In Orbit 3:05
C4 –Axel Meijer - Werkstuk-1964 2:32
C5 –Robbert Jan De Neeve - A.F. 1:17
C6 –Peter Schat - De Aleph 7:46
Studio Of Ton Bruynèl
D1 –Ton Bruynèl - Reflexen 4:34
CEM Studio, Bilthoven
D2 –Will Eisma - BTH. 3457 4:08
D3 –Klaus Gorter - K 45 5:40
D4 –Luctor Ponse - Etude-I 6:19
D5 –Berend Giltay - Polychromie-I 6:42

DOWNLOAD some early electronics with clogs on HERE!

Delia Derbyshire - "Blue Veils and Golden Sands-The Unsung Heroine Of British Electronic Music" (BBC Transcription Services) 2002

Ten years before 'Autobahn' the British public were exposed to popular electronics by the government funded BBC Radiophonic Workshop,who pioneered the art of making electronics useable and coherent for the average working man.It all started with Delia Deryshires rendering of Ron Grainers 'Doctor Who Theme'.I dunno if that bass-line has ever been bettered? What makes this more intriguing is that in the semi-socialist state that was post-war Britain, this was all done without recognition or plaudits, in complete anonymity in the bowels of BBC Maida Vale studio's where 20th century music history was recorded from The Beatles and Jimi Hendrix, to Joy Division and Frank Sidebottom. The BBC also had its own composers on the payroll although they categorically avoided this,as Ms Derbyshire explains......"The only way into the workshop was to be a trainee studio manager. This is because the workshop was purely a service department for drama. The BBC made it quite clear that they didn't employ composers and we weren't supposed to be doing music." One of these 'composers' was the one and only, Delia Derbyshire,who has posthumously risen inexorably towards 'Legendary' status as not only a pioneer of women in Electronic music,but as a pioneer of all Electronic music.
Using the notoriously non-existent BBC budget, Delia and her collegues, worked tirelessly with basic equipment to create other worldly music that wasn't being produced anywhere else in the early sixties outside of the Avant Garde arena,which was basically just using electronics to make funny noises.God knows what shite Stockhausen would have come up with for the Doctor Who Theme,and Morton Subotnik was still deciding whether to use Silver Apples or Oranges for his Moon.
The thing is, Delia did 'weird' as well.There is much of her work that would stand up effortlessly in the Avant Garde arena if it ever allowed someone from the BBC to be taken seriously.
The radio plays she did with Barry Bermange in 1964/65, "Inventions For Radio", are among some of the most bizarre pieces of Musique Concréte ever made.
They will be coming up; but as there is inexplicably NO(!?) Greatest hits of Delia Derbyshire,or of The Radiophonic Workshop, in existence?This file contains the BBC Play based on Delia's life (featuring Sonic Boom/Pete Kember of Spaceman 3),and 20 of her most popular pieces,including the one that started it all, "The Doctor Who Theme".
Here's a great quote by Delia about the Dr Who Theme,that shows the BBC's faultless socialist principles:"I did the Dr Who theme music mostly on the Jason valve oscillators. Ron Grainer brought me the score. He expected to hire a band to play it, but when he heard what I had done electronically, he'd never imagined it would be so good. He offered me half of the royalties, but the BBC wouldn't allow it. I was just on an assistant studio manager's salary and that was it... and we got a free Radio Times. The boss wouldn't let anybody have any sort of credit."
Personal favourite , "Ziwzih Ziwzih OO-OO-OO", could have been taken from The Residents 'golden era',also ten years hence!Or as inspiration for The Mole Show, almost twenty years later! Delia was also far more anonymous than The Residents could ever be.Hardly any pictures exist of her,the same images cropping up endlessly.
She left the workshop, and music, in 1975 to do ordinary jobs,complaining that Synthesizers were killing electronic music,believing that it should be hand-made.She has a point.Music is made by machines more than ever in the 21st century.
'You will be Replaced' is a line you'd expect from an episode of Doctor Who.....now its becoming a reality.
However, Delia Derbyshire was never replaced.The synthesizers never cut the mustard.

Tracklisting:

The Unsung Heroine Of British Electronic Music(BBC Radio Play 2002) 
01 - Introduction
02 - There Is No Such Thing As Silence
03 - The Meaning Of Sound
04 - A Glass Or Two Of Wine
05 - My Real Living Room
06 - Doctor Who
07 - New Music And Open Minds
08 - The Effect Of The Soul On Sound
09 - Another Day At The BBC Radiophonic Sweatshop
10 - Some Recognition
11 - Remembering Without Trying
12 - Credits
The Music (1962-75):
13 - Doctor Who (Original Theme)
14 - Time On Our Hands
15 - Arabic Science And Industry
16 - Know Your Car
17 - Mattachin
18 - Pot Au Feu
19 - Happy Birthday
20 - Ziwzih Ziwzih OO-OO-OO
21 - Towards Tomorrow
22 - Door To Door
23 - Air
24 - Science And Health
25 - Chromophone Band
26 - A New View Of Politics
27 - Environmental Studies
28 - Chronicle
29 - Great Zoos Of The World
30 - Dance from ''Noah''
31 - Blue Veils And Golden Sands
32 - The Delian Mode
33 - Time To Go
34 - Doctor Who (Closing Theme)

DOWNLOAD a fix of heroine HERE!

Helen Gurley Brown ‎– "Lessons In Love" (GNP Crescendo ‎– GNP 604) 1962

The appropriately named Helen Gurley Brown,wrote Sex and the Single Girl, and was editor of Cosmopolitan Magazine for 35 years. During those times she released a handy audio guide to adultery as well. Including such essential advice for such romantic dead ends as,"Capturing A Man If You Aren't Pretty!"..easy, suck his knob..."Short Men Can Be Sexy!...especially if they've got a Ferrari; "How To Talk To A Man In Bed!"....simple...DON'T!
The solutions are in fact mine,as if you didn't know.Helen Gurley Brown's solution are rather more wordy,and....er... Brown.
Lucky for y'all that your scribe hasn't been asked to make an romantic advice record any time soon. It would be rather short....just like those vertically challenged sexy chaps and their Ferraris.

Tracklist:

A1 Getting A Girl To The Brink!
A2 Conducting The Affair
A3 How To Behave At Home When You're Misbehaving
A4 How To Love A Secretary!
A5 Short Men Can Be Sexy!
A6 How To Say "No" To A Girl!
A7 Keep Your Wife Seductive
B1 Capturing A Man If You Aren't Pretty!
B2 How To Say "No"
B3 Unfaithful Wives' Tales!
B4 The Love-Life Of Boss And Secretary!
B5 How To Talk To A Man In Bed!
B6 Keeping Your Husband Sexy!

DOWNLOAD some harsh lessons in adultery HERE!

Ivor Cutler ‎– "Gruts" (Rough Trade ‎– ROUGH 98) 1986

I like Gruts for tea or for any feeding time in fact, be it Elevenzies, Brunch,Dinner Supper or Breakfast. Of course I don't mean Gruts from the High wood, or Leaves, Bark, Grass or Leaves, but Gruts, the album. Gruts, the fictional foodstuff,are probably very nice,especially fried in butter; but the album version is far more palatable......and,as unlikely as it may seem, funnier.
These songs and poems were originally performed on 'Monday Night At Home' on the BBC Home Service 1959-62,long before Radio one existed,and even before John Peel was a DJ.In fact a few of these songs did eventually appear in some of the numerous sessions he recorded for the late lamented DJ.
The BBC,for all of its criticism as of late, is a great institution for nurturing the more abstract and eccentric edges of the arts.A treasure trove of unique,and poorly paid, cultural jewelery that  now benefits the whole world. The incumbent, popularist leaning, British government,are currently posturing to do away with this world heritage organisation.No more future Ivor Cutlers, or Punk Rock are libel to be promoted once it's sold off to Government cronies and oligarchs.Only the safe stuff,the....spit... popular, the unchallenging, will be what we are left with in this increasingly beige society.....the thing that there is no longer no such thing as.... as stated by the UK's hospitalised Prime Minister (yes BoJo is as I type in intensive care with Covid19 complications....ironically in the very Hospitals his party were intent on running down to tender out to the same cronies and oligarchs that would carve up the BBC).
Of course I wish Boris all the best and hope he recovers.....mainly because I've just seen the turd who will take over from him if he dies!.....see,I'm not a monster......well...not much of a monster anyway.
Meanwhile,keep singing "I'm Happy",and eventually you will be,no matter what happens.
All together now:
"I'm Happy I'm Happy,
I'm Happy I'm Happy
I'm Happy I'm Happy
And I'll Punch the Man Who Says I'm Not!"(repeat)

This album was dedicated to The Noise Abatement Society!?

Tracklist:

A1 I'm Happy (Song)
A2 Gruts For Tea
A3 A Red Flower
A4 Shoplifters (Song)
A5 How To Make A Friend
A6 Fish Fright
A7 Darling, Will You Marry Me Twice (Song)
A8 Scratch My Back
A9 Egg Meat
B10 Mud (Song)
B11 Old Cups Of Tea
B12 The Judge's Parcel
B13 I Had A Little Boat (Song)
B14 The Hoorgi House
B15 A Steady Job
B16 In My Room There Sits A Box (Song)
B17 The Dirty Dinner

DOWNLOAD some fresh gruts from the high wood HERE!

Jack Smith ‎– "Silent Shadows On Cinemaroc Island - 56 Ludlow Street 1962-1964 Volume II" ( Audio ArtKive Ag 47) 1997

More camp shenanigans from Jack Smiths apartment on Ludlow Street,as recorded,one assumes by mr minimalism,Tony Conrad,who also appears.
It manages to be both weird and hilarious at the same time,a feat only achieved by such luminaries as The Residents.
I would write more,but I had a heavy night down the pub yesterday evening.Never again!

Tracklist:

1 Carnival Of Ecstacy
Performer – Tony Conrad 3:19
2 The First Memoirs Of Maria Montez
Finger Cymbals – Jack Smith Performer – David G., Mario Montez, Tony Conrad 22:12
3 Buffalo Song
Performer – Mario Montez Violin – Tony Conrad Vocals – Jack Smith 2:10
4 Mario And The Flickering Jewel
Voice – Jack Smith, Tony Conrad 3:51
5 Contadina Tomato Paste 3:03
6 Silent Shadows On Cinemaroc Island
Performer – John Cale, Tony Conrad 8:45
7 The Horrors Of Agony 10:50
8 Jack, Mario, And Tony
Voice – Mario Montez 6:00

DOWNLOAD the drag queen who wasn't a drag HERE!

Jack Smith ‎– "Les Evening Gowns Damnees - 56 Ludlow Street 1962-1964, Volume I" (Audio ArtKive ‎– Audio ArtKive 01) 1997

If fucking around with your mates and recording it is Art, then so be it. Hell, we've all done it ain't we?...if not ,then you should have.
Jack Smith, who virtually invented 'Camp Art' and zero budget trash cinema, seemed to have a great time at 56 Ludlow Street with his artsy chums, which included most of the nascent Velvet Underground.
It all sounds great fun to these ears.
This is where Lou Reed stole his lyrics from and Warhol stole the ideas for his movies.
Jack Smith is another one of those ignored and forgotten counter culture heroes who accidently inspired others with greater ambitions to achieve imortality.Without Smith there would have been no John Waters,or Laurie Anderson;but Smith did all of this for no other reason than to entertain himself,because there was nothing out there like his films or his living artwork,himself, existed pre-Smith.
He certainly had his fifteen minutes,but thats all he wanted,and all he got.Others,like Lou Reed, outlived their quarter of an hour,and how we wished they hadn't.
In the future everyone will be as obscure as Jack Smith for Fifteen Minutes.

Tracklist:

1 Earthquake Orgy
Voice [Screams] – Arnold Rockwood, Jack Smith, Kate Heliczer, Mario Montez, Piero Heliczer 3:53
2 Love Is Strange
Featuring – Frances Francine, Tony Conrad 17:51
3 Jack Smith Reads From "The Great Moldy Triumph" On His 31st Birthday
Engineer – Robert Adler*Voice, Effects – Frances Francine, Ron Rice 6:35
4 Cold Starry Nights
Featuring [Sarinda] – John CaleStrings [Bowed Cembalom] – Tony Conrad 2:19
5 Jack Smith Tells Tales Of Francine 8:08
6 The Second Dance Of The Harem Mongos (Excerpt)
Cymbal [Finger], Drums – Jack SmithFeaturing [Mandola] – Tony Conrad 4:00
7 Jack Smith Reads "Les E. G.'s Damneés"
Guitar [Lute] – Tony ConradStrings [Bowed Mandola] – Angus MacLise 16:13

DOWNLOAD the birth of camped up performance art HERE!

Joe Meek ‎– "The Alchemist Of Pop - Home Made Hits & Rarities 1959-1966"

So we've established that Joe Meek began the modern do it yourself recording ethic, yes?
So we'd better hear the Hits?
The best of which have to be self-proclaimed medium, Geoff Goddard's tunes. Primarily 'Johnny Remember Me',sang by John Leyton, and the beyond weird "Skymen".
"Johnny Remember Me" has to be one of the top Ten weirdest Top Twenty hits ever(Number one actually!). Up there with Laurie Anderson's "O Superman", The Associates "Party Fears Two", and Public Image Ltd's "Death Disco".
Geoff actually made more money from all this than anyone,and the regular royalties supplemented his school caretakers job until his death.
Little did I know, whilst watching camp classic seventies Brit-com "Are You Being Served, that the character who played Mr Spooner, who replaced Mr Lucas, was none other than Mike Berry; one of the most successful artists in the Joe Meek stable!
There were lots of surprise guest appearances by many future stars of the rock world, including Bowie,Ritchie Blackmore, Chas Hodges (Chas and Dave), Jimmy Page, Rod Stewart,Tom Jones, and probably many more!?

Check out this great BBC documentary on the great man HERE!

Tracklist:

–Emile Ford & The Checkmates - What Do You Want To Make Those Eyes At Me For 2:04
–Lance Fortune - Be Mine 1:49
–The Fabulous Flee-Rakkers - Green Jeans 2:25
–Ricky Wayne & The Flee-Rakkers - Chick A'Roo 1:50
–Michael Cox - Angela Jones 2:40
–The Flee-Rekkers - Sunday Date 2:53
–Peter Jay - Paradise Garden 2:41
–Danny Rivers - Can't You Hear My Heart 3:03
–The Outlaws - Swingin' Low 2:04
–The Outlaws - Ambush 2:22
–Cliff Bennett & The Rebel Rousers - You Got What I Like 1:35
–John Leyton - Johnny Remember Me 2:39
–Mike Berry & The Outlaws - Tribute To Buddy Holly 2:57
–The Moneymakers - Night Of The Vampire 2:49
–John Leyton - Wild Wind 2:13
–Iain Gregory - Can You Hear The Beat Of A Broken Heart 1:36
–Screaming Lord Sutch & The Savages - 'Til The Following Night 3:45
–John Leyton - Son This Is She 2:24
–Mike Berry & The Admirals - It's Just A Matter Of Time 2:11
–Don Charles - Walk With Me My Angel 3:08
–John Leyton - Lonely City 2:11
–The Tornados - Telstar 3:20
–Michael Cox - Stand Up 2:17
–The Packabeats - Theme From 'The Traitors' 2:32
–Peter Jay & The Jaywalkers - Can Can '62 2:29
–Houston Wells & The Marksmen - North Wind 2:34
–Mike Berry & The Outlaws - Don't You Think It's Time 1:40
–The Tornados - Globetrotter 2:40
–The Tornados - Ridin' The Wind 2:26
–Screaming Lord Sutch & The Savages - Jack The Ripper 2:45
–The Tornados Robot 2:38
–Glenda Collins - I Lost My Heart At The Fairground 2:34
–Houston Wells & The Marksmen - Only The Heartaches 2:52
–Jenny Moss- Hobbies 2:05
–The Saints - Wipeout 2:56
–Heinz Just Like Eddie 2:43
–Geoff Goddard - Sky Men 2:46
–Pamela Blue - My Friend Bobby 2:09
–Heinz - Country Boy 2:00
–The Dowlands - All My Loving 2:19
–Heinz - You Were There 1:55
–The Honeycombs - Have I The Right 2:56
–Heinz - Questions I Can't Answer 2:19
–The Honeycombs - I Can't Stop 2:35
–The Blue Rondo's* Little Baby 2:34
–The Honeycombs - Something Better Beginning 2:13
–David John & The Mood - Diggin' For Gold 2:37
–The Honeycombs - That's The Way 2:57
–The Syndicats - Crawdaddy Simone 3:15
–The Cryin' Shames - Please Stay 3:14
–The Buzz - You're Holding Me Down 3:05
–The Riot Squad - I Take It That We're Through 2:46
–Jason Eddy & The Centremen - Singing The Blues 2:28
–Glenda Collins - It's Hard To Believe It 2:59

DOWNLOAD part one and turn 1's and zero's into gold HERE!

DOWNLOAD part two and continue digging more gold HERE!

Joe Meek ‎– "The Joe Meek Collection: Intergalactic Instro's" (1960-65)

As we've taken a short detour down the cul-de-sac of pre-Beatles UK Rock'n'Roll, it makes sense to bring perspective back to DIY music, and the granddaddy of DIY is obviously the deranged independent producer, Joe Meek.
He turned his flat into a sound lab and recording facility, crammed to the gills with knobs, dials, valves and heath-robinson style gizmo's.
The toilet was his preferred area to record saxophones and public toilets were his preferred area to handle scrotal sacs, as he was a highly illegal Homosexual.A prisonable offence in the early 60's.
He was also prone to violent rages and generally psychotic behaviour.Culminating in blowing away his landlady with a shotgun and then turning it on himself,all this on Febuary 3rd 1967, the 8th anniversary of Buddy Holly's death (Which Meek had famously predicted before it happened)!....But you won't find his face on any t-shirts, because he was overweight, Gay and lacking that tragic beauty of your Cobains and Curtis's.
Character flaws aside, he managed to cobble together a ton of bizarre sixties pop tunes, based largely around his pet subjects of Horror Films, Westerns,communicating with the dead,and Science Fiction. He was the first British artist/producer to score a number one hit in the USA.
Some of the weirdest tunes,along with some of the weirdest behaviour existed in that flat at 304 Holloway Road, London N7.
So here's a collection of spaced-out instrumentals, among which are some demos and some unreleased tracks. As a little treat there are three live recordings of the Tornados (who once included the target of Meeks frustrated lust , Heinz) which show that the sound Joe produced on these records couldn't be reproduced on stage -- a problem for a lot of his musicians.

As Jesus once said, "The Meek will inherit the Earth".
Track Listing:

01.Moontrekkers - Night Of The Vampire 61-09
02.Ramblers -  Just For Chicks 63-11
03.Jay, Peter & Jaywalkers - Oo La La 63-05
04.Lavern, Roger & Microns - Red Rocket
05.Moontrekkers - Hatashiai (Japanese Sword Fight) 62-03
06.Fabulous Flee-Rekkers-Green Jeans 60-04
07.Checkmates-West Point 63-03
08.Sounds Incorporated-Keep Moving 63-08
09.Spooks-The Spook Walks
10.Tornados-Lawrence Of Arabia
11.Stonehenge - MenPinto 62-02
12.MoontrekkersReturn Of The Vampire
13.Jay, Peter & Jaywalkers-Totem Pole 63-02
14.Saxons- Saxon War Cry 65-06
15.Original Checkmates-Union Pacific 63-06
16.Flee-Rekkers-Cerveza
17.Moontrekkers-Melodie D'Amour 61-09
18.Ramblers-Take It Away
19.Stonehenge Men-Big Feet 62-02
20.Moontrekkers-There's Something At The Bottom Of The Well 62-03
21.Ramblers-Dodge City 63-11
22.Sounds Incorporated-Order Of The Keys 63-08
23.Original Checkmates-The Spy 63-06
24.Moontrekkers-Sunday Sunset
25.Jay, Peter & Jaywalkers-Jaywalker 63-02
26.Fabulous Flee-Rekkers - You Are My Sunshine 60-04
27.Moontrekkers-John Brown's Body
28.Jay, Peter & Jaywalkers-Poet And Peasant 63-05
29.Tornados-Telstar (live)64-?? 
30.Tornados-Exodus (live)64-?? 
31.Tornados-Czardas (live)64-?? 
32.Meek - JoeTelstar Demo

DOWNLOAD from deepest space HERE!

Johnny Kidd & The Pirates ‎– "The Complete Johnny Kidd & The Pirates" (EMI ‎– CDKIDD1)

Original Rock'n'Roll, sometimes called Classic Rock'n'Roll, UK style, was generally absolute shite!....but, there were two or three absolute classic tunes, that rivaled the very best stuff that came out of america before their soul crushing system destroyed it all by 1958. 
Just as it was left to France to save Jazz, it was left to the UK to save Rock'n'Roll, and in fact re-invent it (That should read,'In fact Invent it!') into the modern form that is still with us today.Although in the original template, UK rockers produced very little of the classic repertoire, we know and ,sort of, love today.
Of these classic tunes, we got Cliff's "Move It", Vince Taylor's "Brand New Cadillac", and two from Johnny Kidd, "Please Don't Touch" and "Shakin' All Over".....all fucking fantastic primal toonage from the R'n'R gene, or jean, pool.
Why is this stuff on this blog?Which is primarily about DIY music from the 70's and 80's, you may ask?
Well, Johnny Kidds backing band were the Pirates, who became prime influences and movers in the burgeoning Pub Rock scene in the UK, which, in turn, was a form of Live DIY, and a very influential catalyst for the Punk Rock revolution, which was the primary influence for the DIY explosion....if one could call it an 'explosion'?
They deserve to be here anyway for the sheer brilliance of those two timeless classics!

I did mention a funny story about the recording of "Shakin' All Over" earlier in this thread, so I'd better recount it hadn't I?

In my early days in France, after moving here from the UK, I met a bizarre looking gentleman, who described himself as a "Bass Player". Called Tony Bell.He sported a jelly-fish style array of straggly ginger tendrils of hair, dangling from the edges of a strategically donned Baseball Cap; beneath which I suspected was a landing strip of pasty, hairless scalp.Luring in victims for his insatiable appetite of relaying endless tales of Showbiz hi-jinks.
Also he had a top lip which was burdened with a ginger handlebar moustache atop a set of goofy teeth that resembled some kind of forgotten graveyard!If that wasn't enough, he sported a pair of pale blue eyes that seemed to point in diametrically opposite directions; not unlike Marty Feldman, as Igor in Mel Brooks' "Young Frankenstein".
He was very keen to recount his experiences in the early UK Rock'n'Roll scene, down at the "2i's" coffee bar in Soho, London; The birthplace of British rock, where Cliff and the Shadows hung out,among others.
He reeled off a list of all the famous rockers he played with back in the day and beyond; Like Tommy Steele in Vegas, Screaming Lord Sutch,Joe Meek(the supreme Daddy of DIY),the legendary Big Jim Sullivan, but never mentioned Johnny Kidd, disappointingly.
Suitably impressed, we invited him,his disciple,and Missus (Irene), round our house for dinner.
Thinking they would probably like to hear some music from the early days of Rock, I made a playlist that included Johnny Kidd's "Shakin' All Over".
So, as soon as that played, they looked at each other and giggled; then said....."Ah, this always gets played whenever i'm around someone's gaff(He-He-He)", said Tony.
"Oh yes? And why do you say that" I inquired.
"Well, I played Bass on this. The bass player couldn't handle the part so EMI got me in as a session man....never got a credit though."
Well, the gullible twat that I am, was gushingly impressed enough to want to hear more of his monotonous showbiz monologues.He'd had so much cocaine in Vegas with Tommy Steele's band that a cavity had formed in his skull, and green pus oozed out a hole in the side of his nose, between those Feldman-esque lazy eyes of his.
He did have a high tolerance of drugs, because he brought his own weed, and shared it with my, then Missus, who left me(good by the way!), and is now with some other dodgy 'bass player' from the incredibly clueless and awful Gaye Bykers On Acid!...what is it with Bass players? Y'know.... those geezers who hang around with musicians?.
Anyway, i digress,and i'm definitely NOT 'bitter', (Get out of Jail FREE card springs to mind); but, It was such hyper strong skunk, that, she passed out, started a mini-fit and pissed herself....and I don't mean from laughing....she actually pissed herself as she lay prostate on the couch. She seemed Dead, and i had a hard job finding out if she was actually breathing!....While I did this i reassured my guests by saying, "Carry on eating,I'm just checking to see if she's not actually dead!"
They didn't seem at all phased by this,and more to the point actually carried on eating(?),which seemed to confirm that they had witnessed events like this before in a previous transient Rock'n'Roll lifestyle.
After my former co-habitee,Justine, had recovered, we waved bye bye, and returned to the house.
I'm not actually as gullible as I earlier suggested, and went straight to work on the internet to discover the truth about this extremely sceptical claim.
Quickly I found the e-mail address of the God-like Johnny Spence, bass player with the pirates, who didn't play on "Shakin' All Over", but knew the original Bass Player, Brian Gregg. He informed me that the Brian was more than capable of playing the bass parts, but if my friend(Tony) felt good saying this untruth then he saw no reason why anyone should burst his bubble. I was not disappointed with this response from one of my favourite musicians ever(if only for that angry face!)....what a great non-star attitude eh? Now that's Rock'n'Roll.....(said in a funny Paul Daniels style voice).
I never did confront Tony with this info, whats the point in humiliating such a character,just because he lied to impress people to alleviate his self-esteem problem ...mostly to girls I think. How else was he going to pull looking like some kind of freaky ginger Preying Mantis?
You can read the original Johnny Kidd Bassist's account of the recording session by clicking here if you so desire.
And if you ever visit Abbey Road Studio's, don't say, "Wow!Is this where The Beatles recorded, say "Wow! Is this where Johnny Kidd and the Pirates recorded?"....because they did.

PS....for Mick Green fans(and if you aren't, why the fuck not????), check out part two of the download, to experience the classic Wilko/Greeno rhythm/Lead telecaster guitar style that we know and love on so many Dr. Feelgood and Pirates mark 2(76-82) recordings. These people were the Beatles for me. 

Tracklist:

Part One:

Please Don't Touch 1:50
Growl 2:20
Yes Sir That's My Baby - Version 2 1:39
Steady Date 2:36
Feelin' 1:57
If You Were The Only Girl In The World 2:36
You Got What It Takes 2:01
Longin' Lips 1:45
Shakin' All Over 2:21
Yes Sir, That's My Baby 1:43
Restless 2:10
Magic Of Love 2:05
Linda Lu 2:32
Let's Talk About Us 3:20
Big Blon' Baby 2:03
Weep No More, My Baby 3:11
More Of The Same 1:50
I Just Want To Make Love To You 3:00
Please Don't Bring Me Down - Version 2 1:54
So What 2:24
Please Don't Bring Me Down 2:07
Hurry On Back To Love 2:28
I Want That 2:24
I Can Tell 2:29
A Shot Of Rhythm And Blues 1:58
Some Other Guy 2:27
Then I Got Everything 2:00
I'll Never Get Over You 2:05
Ecstasy 2:29
Hungry For Love 2:13
Castin' My Spell - The Pirates 2:22
My Babe - The Pirates 2:44
Dr. Feelgood 1:50

Part Two:

Always And Ever 2:56
Whole Lotta Woman 3:11
Your Cheatin' Heart 3:17
Let's Talk About Us - Version 2 2:20
A Little Bit Of Soap 2:26
The Fool - Version 2 3:07
Oh Boy 1:38
Send Me Some Lovin' 3:06
Big Blon' Baby - Version 2 1:48
Please Don't Touch - Version 2 2:04
Right String But The Wrong Yoyo 2:32(MP3 sample download)
Shop Around 3:04
I Know 2:23
Jealous Girl 2:37
Where Are You 2:20
Don't Make The Same Mistake As I Did 2:27
The Birds And The Bees 2:02
Can't Turn You Loose 2:16
Shakin' All Over ('65) 2:22
Gotta Travel On 3:00
Bad Case Of Love 2:00
You Can Have Her 2:50
I Hate Getting Up In The Morning - Version 2 2:04
This Golden Ring 2:47
It's Got To Be You 2:25
I Hate Getting Up In The Morning 2:05
Send For That Girl 2:44
The Fool 4:09
Send For That Girl - Version 2 2:42

DOWNLOAD part one HERE!

DOWNLOAD part two HERE!

DOWNLOAD part three....the missing tracks,including The Pirates first single without Johnny HERE!