Voice Crack – "Earflash" (Uhlang Produktion – UP 07) 1990

Switzerland? Famous for Toblerone's,Nazi Gold, at least a dozen Mona-Lisa's locked away in some vaults in Geneva, all that plus a preponderance for driving below the speed limit!?
One has to question how this noisy duo ever managed to get out of a sensible career in corrupt neutral banking to make electroacoustic nightmares such as these seven overtly digital tracks which define themselves as "Earflash".
Like the Swiss, i'm neutral on most aspects of mass genocide,art theft,and questionable sources of Gold, as long as it makes a quick crypto-profit.
However,this stuff certainly makes for a good soundtrack to melting down extracted gold teeth to fit the numbers on forged documentation. This explains why these bland bankers are responsible for the highest Bunker and firearm ownership outside of Syria and Waco Texas.
You don't hear the word 'Free' very often in this mountainous region,but Voice Crack started off as Free Jazzers back in '72, until they changed to doing a bit of yer grinding electroacoutic Noise,often collaborating with crazy Free improv nutters
Borbetomagus, from the good 'ol US of Eh?
Voice Cracks' sound is not unlike the Alpine vistas strewn with glacial lakes and impending Avalanche thunder that make up 95% of this rather lovely country.It's enough to forgive them their genetic need to appear neutral until they take the side of the winners.....which unfortunately went titz-up when the Third Reich ended up being battered to fuck.
I hear that they may have learned a small lesson from WW2,as now they appear to be less than neutral on the subject of Ukraine; that is, unless Russia end up steamrollering Europe, and the Swiss traders are wrong AGAIN!?
At least they gave us Kleenex...the band....and ,er....Voice Crack?
Well,maybe just Kleenex / liliput.
Weren't The Young Gods swiss too?...yeah?....well, maybe them as well then?

Tracklist:

A1 Horned Aerial Bull 7:06
A2 Blow Up That Jetsam 7:58
A3 Earflash 2:39
A4 Fluffy Dog 2:41
B1 X-Ray Rally 10:06
B2 Turn Table Wax 4:12
B3 Decoy The Switch 6:32

DOWNLOAD these cracked actors HERE!

Borbetomagus – "Barbed Wire Maggots" (Agaric Records – Ag 1983) 1983

Borbetomagus is a trio of Don Dietrich (reeds) Jim Sauter (reeds) and Donald Miller (guitar) and additionally Brian Doherty (electronics) Existing since the mid-seventies. This is free-improv "jazz" of the most extreme nature and its certainly not for the faint hearted, since heavy bone crushing walls of noise are their specialty.Yummy.

That sounds like something I'd like, and something that any supreme court judge in a MAGA hat would eagerly pass a death sentence or two for after the fast approaching american taliban take-over...er...takes over?

Remember when The Plastic People Of The Universe got jailed in Iron Curtain Czechoslovakia? Well, in a few weeks time, musicians like Borbetomagus may get their chance to taste prison food.

Remember also, when Uncle Adolf had a set-back democratically,and managed to pass the 'Enabling Act'back in 1933?....No?....fair enough,as we're all doomed to repeat it.The Orange small handed shredded wheat barneted one,has both chambers, the Supreme Court, and The Presidency, so whats there to stop him? The Handmaids Tale for everyone. Meanwhile, over in Liberal, communist Europe,the green light is given for Russia to enter Paris whenever they feel like unleashing the Nuke arsenal. The world will be split into three zones,under China, Russia,and Trumps USA......thanks be for our american chums.

This is,in fact, a good argument for the 2nd Amendment I suppose,so some gun toting Hick can off the Orange one in the mistaken premise that he's taking their guns away because he's a liberal Democrat...wrong Hicksville morons, its so he don't have to do no more Democratic stuff. Like Mr first against the wall actor Bob De Niro said..you'll never get rid of him. Tickets on sale soon for the live beheading of De Niro in Times aquare. 

Enjoy.

I am informed that one of the members of Borbetomagus died in mysterious circumstances a few weeks ago.

So sad that he will never enjoy the rights of women being removed, heretics and artists imprisoned,and a hereditary dictatorship installed......and there's nothing that can stop this if they should so desire.If they don't its because they are too stupid to realise it...the doors open,and Elon's foot is placed, like the talentless salesman he is,to prevent it being closed.

This may seem exaggerated,but its happened before,and most recently by Trump's best mate, Mad Vlad himself.

Barbed Wire Maggots indeed....Just wait for that Russo-Sino army sweeping through the Eurasian land mass.The america's is for the Trump Dynasty,run like a Taliban out post of sanity.

Or, maybe ,our greatest hope is that RFK will refuse production,or even research of the vaccine for the next Pandemic on the grounds that is may cause autism in white kids and we'll all die.

That might be the sensible option; and i'm not just saying that because i'm already Autistic...even though i'm ashamed to be on the same divergent spectrum as E-Lon......maybe this is in fact an Alien Invasion?...that's actually makes more sense than contemporary reality.

Tracklist:

1 - Untitled (21:45)

2 - Untitled (21:47)

DOWNLOAD HERE you maggots!

The Max Factory – "Tudor City" -(Ecstatic Yod – actuel 5) 1995

The Max Factory is Alan Licht with or without friends.....that's what it says on the inner gatefold cover of another of that "Ass Run" series on that Father Yod label what we all dig so much.

So if you've ever been Licht by anyone called Alan,you'll know what to expect.If you haven't been Licht by someone called Alan,firstly 'Why Not?!',and secondly expect lots of spontaneous guitar noise akin to the sound of nails being scraped down an amplified chalk board.

If you have sensitive teeth, i advise caution when approaching this fine beast.

Tracklist:

Side A:
A1 I Lack The Power (7:41)
A2 A Perfect Herbert (5:14)
A3 Coma (4:03)
A4 Derf Scratch (3:50)

Side 1:
B Tudor City (23:04)

DOWNLOAD at max speed HERE!

Shit Spangled Banner – "No Dolby No DBX (Ass Run 1)" (Ecstatic Yod – actuel 3) 1994

'Eavy Metal never sounded good in Dobly',and that goes even more for Noisy Improv like the appropriately named Shit Spangled Banner.

I Had DBX on my first Portastudio, the otherwise fantastic Tascan Porta One, and it was shite,removing some of the music/noise as well as the Hiss.It made it all sound like it was trapped inside a wet cardboard box.

Its a bit of a No-Brainer to not use Noise Reduction on a noise recording.

So,wisely,Shit Spangled Banner not only doesn't use 'Dobly',they state this fact proudly on the inside of this facsimile of a  BYG/Actuel sleeve.

BYG/Actuel was the French Jazz imprint that saved the creative lives of the New Wave of Jazzers like Archie Shepp and buddies in the late 60's....if you didn't know already?

The other respectful tip of the hat goes to the Father Yod/Ya Ho Wa 13 references;who were an Hawaiian based free love cult ,who played improvised acid rock,recorded it, and put it onto vinyl,which remained largely unsold.

So I suppose with all that hinting at non-conformist form of modern music,Shit Spangled Banner are gonna improvise the shit out of you until that imaginary alternative Flag self-combusts.

Apparently, Thurston Moore runs this label!?....but don't let that morsel of truth put you off you silly sod....this stuff is certainly my cup of tea,with the Tea Bag left in please.

Sorry for the Spinal Tap references,i'm a neurodivergent nerd, I can't help it! Tracklist:

1 What Makes Love Grow 1:07
2 Ghost Meat 16:12
3 Wooden Teeth 4:14
4 Heaven Often Manifests As Silence 2:15
5 Cuntshine 12:12
6 Smallpant Fields 5:20
7 Broken Goodtime Kid 4:52
8 Untitled 0:47
9 Untitled 0:52

DOWNLOAD some shit spangled noise HERE!

Various Artists – "Neo Punk Disordery / ADK Omnibus Vol.2" (ADK Records – ADK-08E) 1984

Punk Rock was made for compilations. One single per band, 15 minute sets per gig,and if there's anything left,of which there shouldn't be if you're a proper Punk Rock band, then that gets stuck on a compilation dunnit?

Using the same criteria for the Japanese, Punk rock was made for da Japanoise Yoof to vomit out the relentless oppression of Japanese Culture......the poor sods.

It's a bit like how da English yoof got liberated by a combination of first wave American Rock'n'Roll and ,ironically, being trapped in the poverty of a bankrupt Britain created by the massive loan...yes I did say 'Loan', that the American Government gave the Churchill Govt to buy armaments from the United States to fight the Third Reich on behalf of of the rapidly diminishing Free World.

Ironically still, no such conditions were foisted upon the axis powers after their inevitable defeat.They all got massive financial reparations to build their economies into the giants they are today.

The 'Brits', they got rationing, powdered egg and Bombed out homelessness. Punishement for giving the Japs the idea of torpedoing the enemy navy in their harbour with light aircraft....exactly what the Brits did to the Italian Navy in the Mediterranean the same year.

However,both Germany, Italy and Japan, didn't have the vibrant youth culture that was produced out of the UK austerity plan post war.

As the last Japanese soldier surrendered in the mid-seventies, things had begun to loosen up a little in Nippon. Disemboweling noise and relentlessly fuming Punk Rock emerged from the polite world of Jap Society. And some of the finest disemboweling shit it is too, as collected on this fine shared jap-core compilation featuring some very pissed off sons of Nippon.

Tracklist:

A1 Gabell– 品種改良
A2 Gabell– レイプ (研究所)
A3 Molugu– Bloody
A4 Molugu– ナチズム
A5 Molugu– AB
A6 Molugu– Insert
A7 Molugu– 餓死
B1 Glycerin – Glycerin (血まみれ世紀)
B2 Glycerin – 臭い
B3 Glycerin – Shelter
B4 Glycerin - 中毒
B5 我殺 Crime Fighter*– Pest
B6 我殺 Crime Fighter*– 血ぞめの改革
B7 我殺 Crime Fighter*– OK
B8 我殺 Crime Fighter*– Crime Fighter

DOWNLOAD or i'll start droning on about world war two again HERE!

XX Committee – "Steel Negro Music" (A.R.P.H. Tapes – AT # 001) 1982

When they should have been working hard doing their philosophy majors at the University of Pittsburgh.Chris Scarpino,and Scott Foust decided to put their Kant and Nietzsche tome's aside and follow the confused philosophy of the recently,in 1982, deceased Throbbing Gristle to the test,and see if anyone,even Philosophy students, could give this new fangled Industrial Music a go.

And Would you credit it, the answer was a big YES.No musical ability needed,or even equipment.Melody?...too difficult.So we'll pretend that we know what we're doing,and explain it away as industrial culture.

Sounds good though,especially if you've got fuck all idea what's going on.

Ironically called Steel Negro Music,and i'm guessing here,that the steel part refers to the future 'Rust Belt' steelworks that purveys the alma mater of their university campus.....Pittsburgh,famous for the steel industry,and perfect inspiration to make this TG-alike racket.Hell, I'm a Metal Worker myself,albeit on the lazy-arsed Artistic/Autistic side of reality;one does share the enviable prospect of contracting one of the few perks of the job, like emphysema or pneumoconiosis. 

Then we have the retrospectively controversial Negro Music part ,which i'm sure refers to the male White Negro doing involuntary 'black-face'thanks to the soot festooned atmosphere inhaled by every white and Black Nigger enslaved to the American nightmare in the land of the Free;and destined to die alone in an american super-prison from acute lung disease.

However,beyond this cassette, I am not aware of any major contributions to Philosophy made by Messers Scarpino and Foust to date.You can never prove a Philosopher isn't working 24/7....its the same excuse made by Artists......just another word for Lazy Fuckers basically.

Tracklist: 1.NP, Ward 3 12:05 2.Metal Worker 5:07 3.National Re-Doubt 5:40 4.Drone 1 6:42 5.Damarc 4:17 6.Steel Negro 4:33 7.Mass Machina 4:45 8.M de S. 6:06 9.Deep Red 3:30 10.Drone 2 6:00 DOWNLOAD some ferric oxide music HERE!

Debt Of Nature – "Robin Diamond's Lungs" (A.R.P.H. Tapes – AT # 003) 1982

Throbbing Gristle played two shows in the USA,and they were both in California;HERE and HERE!

So, kids hear TG,then they play like TG,even securing the dubious skills of Monte Cazazza donated towards the recording of this cassette,which, by the way, features the participation(Again) of one Brad Laner;member of too many groups to remember.

So yeah, it sounds like Throbbing Gristle.There's even a few Charles Manson news reports recorded off the Television,to further flesh out the cliché.....but, i'm a sucker for some Old Skool Industrial.Its the ultimate great leveller in musical terms,like Dub Reggae.Also equally effective as background music for that fondue soirée you've been meaning to throw for the neighbours.

Anyone can do it.Zero Chords required,unlike the one that's recommended for any decent Punk rock tune,or the Mozart-like three that's needed for a Ramones/Status Quo number....Fuck That!

Ironically,as a bonus, any Industrial Artist gets to be taken semi-seriously by the chin stroking bespectacled chumbawumba set from the Artier end of town, whereas Punk Groups or Satus Quo,forward slash,Ramones are looked upon as some sort of tribe of Idiots.

Tracklist:A1 N Counter
A2 Bed Time
A3 Industrial Elitists
A4 Dead Cow Manifesto
A5 All Through The Night
A6 Blood Was Everywhere
A7 In An Orgy Of Murder
A8 DrM/SbC
A9 Intellectual Decompression
A10 The Cross
B1 Inside Out Effect
B2 Graphic Truth
B3 Fascist Insect
B4 Grin
B5 Survival
B6 Fuck Peace
B7 Nothing Matters
B8 To Be Governed

DOWNLOAD this debt free golden diamond HERE!

SEP/8363 – ".04" (Party Sound Tapes – P.S.-6) 1984

Not that you give seven shades of shite,but,I have a liking for groups with totally unrecallable names,unpronounceable names that don't work in any filing system,even the Dewey Decimal, and are near google proof.No-one is quite sure if its the title or the catalog number.I also like a good collage,so this scores heavily on the non music front,as well as sporting a rather nifty brand of Non-Music itself. All this, together means the music comes a poor fourth place in my priorities.

Of course this is yet another group that features Severed Head In The Bag's own Brad Laner. Who not only has a natural aptitude for the abstract, and the noncommercial,but seems to have no real need to be a somebody,or even a no-body,or anybody save himself.From such rich pastures does arise thee perfect conditions to make art such as this.Art that clears the room of dumb people....I hesitate to say Trump fans,so i won't, to avoid elongated and pointless tit-for-tat arguments about the post-fact reality in the comments section....but you know what i'm getting at don't you? 

Anyway, there's a top snooker player called Trump also,who does seem to attract a dumb people entourage attracted to his reckless style of attacking populist snooker.

The noble art of Snooker aside, this tape is just one of the many delightfully weird offshoots of the Los Angeles Free Music Society,of whom Brad was but one of the members.

Whether he plays Snooker I dunno, but I reckon he's got an interesting safety game.

Tracklist:

A-1 Restaurant 1:58
A-2 EDB 2:30
A-3 Power Structure 3:53
A-4 See You 3:18
A-5 When I Was Young I Prayed With Butt Puppets 7:11
A-6 I Also Saw Frank Bleeding On Angry Mountain 2:31
A-7 Lhasa Club Feb 1984 (excerpt) 2:43
A-8 Majority 1:27
B-1 Doctors With Teeths 4:46
B-2 Something As It Really Is ! 2:34
B-3 Not You Nor I 3:45
B-4 For Damaged Compression 8:08
B-5 Expected Systems 3:46
B-6 Cough Syrups 2:54
B-7 Due To The Mouth Thing 3:18
B-8 Explaining Pork to David 4:29
B-9 Ineinlander Fallende Alte Häuser 1:52

DOWNLOAD oct/2310.01 HERE!

K.K. Null – "Plasmagma" (Video Nasties – MMXV AD #NINE) 2015

Some highly nuanced experimental noise from our ol' mate K.K.

Allowing plenty good space at the red end of the VU meter spectrum. This allows the inevitable Noise fatigue heavily associated with the purveyors of Harsh Noise to be dissipated until well into side two.Lots of attractive noises lull one into a sense of willing exploration,rather than turning it off to listen to the B-52's first,and far weirder than this, album. This is what Industrial Noise should be.Something that wasn't knocked off inside an hour and passed off as something subversive. Maybe forty years ago yes,but not in 2015.The kids who'd shock mum and dad with their Marilyn Manson fixation, are now more likely to produce a K.K.Null cassette to further confuse their Grungy parents somewhat....or Not? All that shits long dead.I shit yee not!

One chose this tape to end my recent pregnant silence because i spied that this label was called Video Nasties, promising me an opportunity to delve into the fascinating world of the 1980's VHS Video Nasty. "Driller Killer" being my most favouritest Punk Rock Movie in that very sorry sub-genre of Punk Rock movies,not to mention Punk Rock Video Nasties.In fact "Driller Killer" could actually be the only Rock'n'Roll movie that doesn't suck ass completely in fact?

Other great Nasties would have to include female exploitation Nasty, "I Spit On Your Grave"...(as mentioned in the UK Parliament's notorious 'Video Nasty debate'.......they do tend to have great titles one must admit. The plot of "ISOYG" is basically ,Chick gets gang raped,Chick walks around naked in the jungle for half an hour, then chick gets bloody and violent revenge on the perps. there may be some clumsy Feminist angle somewhere in there, but I'm struggling to see it?

Only the Daily Mail's balanced mature arguments on the rise of the Video Nasty can really express  the mind of the true Igoramus

The original found footage film "Cannibal Holocaust" is rather notorious for being a suspected Snuff Flick as the chopping up and torture scenes are somewhat realistic? The Italian director was actually tried in court for murder to determine if it was or not....it wasn't!.

Having attempted to watch this all the way through several times,inevitably falling asleep each time......maybe because I was invariably Drunk,this being, along with "Godzilla vrs Mechagodzilla", one's preferred viewing post-kicking out time at the Pub. One has the hazy recollection of a very realistic castration performed upon one of the white guys hung upside down on some bamboo construction.....a most disturbing image to have a hangover enhance in the morning after the night before?

"Texas Chainsaw massacre" was also mentioned in Parliament, although I would contest that this is not a Nasty,just another in a long line of Hillbilly schlock-horror epics started off by John Boorman's great "Deliverence"........others in the Hill Billy Horror genre are "Southern Comfort" and......this is stretching it a bit....."The Hills Have Eyes"?........has anyone seen that documentary on the USA'a most in-bred family yet?.....The Whittakers?.......oooya fookah.......click here.

Sadly I never got to see that Scandalous spaghetti-Nasty,or comedy(?) "SS Experiment Love Camp".....i may right this wrong very soon...or maybe, wrong that Right is more appropriate?

Sci-Fi Nasties aren't too common, but Sick Brit-Flick Nasty "Xtro",has to be one of the finest examples of the motion picture artform ever made.....forget Citizen Kane.

What effect these films could have on your mental well-being is still up for debate.....personally I err on the side of absolutely fucking nothing....but then again I would say that wouldn't I?....Look at the music I play and write about with such pulchritudinous abandon! 

After-all the Margate Police (Daily Mirror 1984) did explain away a violent youths' savage behaviour,as, and I quote, "Influenced by Video nasties or a New Moon"????.....sometimes, maybe its best just to give up completely on the eradication of stupidity?

Maybe there's some troubled youth out there whose behavior is influenced by a K.K.Null cassette or, the next appearance of a Gibbous moon?.

We may never know....or care?

Tracklist:

A1 Plasmagma 01 8:25
A2 Plasmagma 02 9:02
B Plasmagma 03 17:40

DOWNLOAD this SS experimental music camp HERE!

Null & Merzbow – "Babilonia" (ZSF Produkt – ZSF 07) 1983

Null made more than a baker's dozen of these noisy collaborations with everyone's number one choice  to leave,casually strewn across the unpolished surface of their gentrified dockland warehouse abode coffee table...."Oh look Rupert,he's got an early  ZSF Cassette,by Merzbow.", one day. i will transfer these to vinyl and sell them to the uber-nouveau-riche for exorbatant fees.....I will call it Urinal- On- Demand.....O,Rupert I can see it now,me and you and S&M gf''s in Berlin,shops,Genesis P-Orridge museums...the Lot!

Of course these classically educated sons of investment bankers investment bankers would have overlooked the fact that it featured the less commercially minded japnoise pioneer, K.K.Null, but these same ...er.....cunts(?),would only realise this once that enthusiastically priced Vinyl Box-set had hit the inter-web.

So get yer ankle length leather coat on,and imagine you are one of these cred-envy fools, who read marvel comics hidden inside copies of W.S.Burroughs' Soft Machine,and act out their Throbbing Gristle Fanboy fantasy's at the expense of dignity.

Again, yer average Noise outing sounds far better on cassette tape than, CD,or even...mmmm yes, Vinyl.It fuzz's the edges,rather like the Atlantic ocean muffled the screams of drowning poor people on the Titanic.I guess it also muffled to sound of the Billionaires who were crushed as their submersible imploded...except i doubt anyone on the Titanic paid half a million quid for the privilege. Its a great leveller is death.

I have, however, yet to hear of anyone playing Merzbow at their funerals.....unless anyone out there knows better?

Whoops!...I just heard that MONTE CAZAZZA has just died!?.....maybe he'll play some Merzbow at his funeral?

Tracklist:

A Iroha
B1 Nihohe
B2 Tochi
B3 Rinuruo

DOWNLOAD inna babilonia HERE!

Null & Fred Frith – "Null & Fred Frith" (Nux Organization – NUX-21) 1991

If you can't get Brian Eno for your cred cornering collaboration,the next best thing is to procure the ,cheaper,talents of one Fred Frith late of everyone's favourite post-prog art-rock combo, Henry Cow.He has a natural oblique strategies gland inside his front Brain,and can play at least one instrument,if desired;so no need for Eno's famed pack of cards to ever leave the draw.....unless David Bowie wanted them of course...what David wants David gets.....or steals.

Frith brings a more subtle approach to the noise,and side A sounds more like yer Free Improvisation kind of Noise, a noise with nuances if you will?

Woah...side B goes unexpectedly subtle,verging on the Eno's ambient period,with its floaty textures and Atmospheric noodlings.

Who needs Eno anyway?

Tracklist:

Side A : 20000V Live (27:43)

Side B : Heavens Breath (15:32)

DOWNLOAD my life after beans on toast HERE!

A.N.P / Null – "Dyspareunia" (Nux Organization – NUX-09) 1985

 

The chap who was in Acid Mothers Temple that Collaborated with K.K.Null in Proto Doom Metal combo, Zeni Geva;then obviously went off somewhere else, leaving K.K.Null,otherwise known as Kazuyuki Kishino (K.K.),to become the Brian Eno of Jap noise,collaborating with anyone who'd have him. Half-Man Half-Biscuit did a song on this bothersome subject, called....er..."Eno Collaboration"; but as of yet,no-one has bothered to write a song called K.K.Null collaboration.

Eno and K.K. have one thing in common at least, in that they can't play any instruments proper-like,leaving the door open for collaborations with persons in between jobs who can play an instrument up to a reasonable level of competence.

Brian,does indeed have one up on K.K. in the concept department,the most famed one being his renaming of quiet electronic Kosmiche Krautrock as "Ambient",and as a result became the face that launched a million bedroom recording projects all over the western world.

Null just sticks to that tried and trusted pattern, at least in Japan,of making a god-awful racket.

This cassette, shared with A.N.P.(Absolut Null Punkt), who he (KK) is also a member of,is a fine example of the formless noise that is so incredibly popular in Japan and various PVC clad knob-ed's in the more fashionable parts of former eastern Europe. But, like Eno's Ambient blueprint,jap-noise is also so very easy to churn out,that any wise-ass can do it...en masse....and they continue to do so...unapologetically.

But, if you are lucky enough to have never heard any of this harsh noise Industrial cacophony before, this will probably be the most exciting thing you've heard since,.....well....Sleaford Mods? 

Tracklist:

Seite ANP:
A1 A.N.P – Meta Beast (14:11)
A2 A.N.P – Od Rising (10:05)

Seite Null
B Null – Dyspareunia D-1 (24:25)

DOWNLOAD some non-eno jap-cred HERE!

Strangulated Beatoffs – "Days Of Our Lives" (Death By Blowjob – DBB001) 1994

Anything to do with Drunks With Guns,the group not yer actual Drunks Brandishing K-Mart Assault rifles; has to be good,surely? Couple that with puerile song titles about licking Bum holes and Jacking off with Jacko, and you've instantly lost the Art crowd.Leaving the attentive listener free from negative vibes of sneering pseudo intellects unaware of the classical beauty of American Dirge Punk from the 1990's./1980's. Namely Kilslug,Flipper,Groinoids,Killdozer,and, of course Drunks With Guns......one of the great band names, I would suggest?

A Drunk With Gun is but one part of  the Strangulated Beatoffs as it 'appens. From an era when the possibilities of making music without guitars became possible,....desirable even.Crawling out of a rust-belt trailer park and fucked up on Meth-amphetamine,this is the lost american's version of the Industrial music so enamored by media studies students all over Europe. Not quite as brutal as those tooled up Drunks, but so unsophisticated it can still give your bollocks a damn fine kicking...which, incidentally they probably deserve.

Strictly an oversight,but one has noticed that not a single Drunk with gun has been previously posted on this site.I suppose this is a salacious opportunity to right that debatable wrong?

NEWSFLASH:Apparently, they did NOT break up, and are Waiting to have their Genesis covers lp released.

Lookin' forward to that one.

Tracklist:

1.Earth To Satan 3:43
2.Satans Pool Party 4:02
3.Untitled 0:15
4.Bewitched 1:59
5.Bothered 19:15
6.Bewildered 4:20
7.It Isn't Fair For You To Taunt Me 4:18
8.Pied Piper Of Hamelin 8:06
9.One Life To Live 11:00

DOWNLOAD and enjoy an asphyxiating handjob experience HERE!

Big Stick – "Crack 'N' Drag" (Blast First – BFFP 25) 1988

I thought I'd have a go on one of these Artificial Intelligence programs,to see how they cope when faced with the Artificial Stupidity of The excellent Big Stick. I entered some info and cut'n'pasted some blurb from the internet,and this is what it came up with after i had to remove any sexual,political and racial references.Political correctness and offensive red lines will be hardwired in that fun fun FUN future we seem so inpatient to crush the last reasons to be alive with.The age of the self-replicating machine are dawning.

Anyway, this bland cliché ridden 21st century future of Music journalism nothingness,is what the computer came up with:

"In the world of dance music, there are only a few tracks that stand the test of time and remain cherished by generation after generation. One of those rare gems is "Drag Racing" by The Big Stick. Released in the mid-80s, this track was part of their EP called "Crack Attack," which is still regarded as one of the best dance music releases of all time. The Big Stick was an underground band hailing from the New York City art scene, and their music was a unique blend of art-rock and dance music. At the time, the punk scene was dominating the underground music scene, but The Big Stick was a breath of fresh air with their distinct sound and unconventional style. "Drag Racing" is a track that truly embodies the spirit of dance music. It's infectious, funky, and will make even the most reluctant dancer hit the floor and groove to the beats. The track features a hypnotic bassline that hooks you in right from the start, and the percussion and synth elements in the track add layers of complexity that make it stand out from other dance tracks of its time. The genius of "Drag Racing" lies in its ability to seamlessly blend different genres of music. The track draws inspiration from disco, funk, and punk rock, and fuses them together to create a sound that is entirely its own. It's a track that has something for everyone, and its popularity is a testament to its universal appeal. What makes "Drag Racing" even more impressive is its longevity. Over three decades have passed since its release, but the track still manages to captivate audiences. Its influence can be seen in modern dance music, and it continues to inspire new generations of artists. It's not just the music that makes The Big Stick and "Drag Racing" special; it's the band's unconventional approach to art and music that sets them apart. The band's name and album covers were inspired by phallic symbols, and their live performances were more akin to performance art than traditional concerts. They were pushing boundaries and challenging the norms of the music industry, and their music reflected that. In conclusion, "Drag Racing" by The Big Stick is a true masterpiece of dance music. It's a track that defies genres, captivates audiences, and remains relevant even after all these years. The Big Stick's unique approach to art and music has left an indelible mark on the music industry, and their music continues to inspire new generations of artists."

That would sit nicely in the review section of Mojo Magazine....just lacking an unseen Beatles photo section.

It really does make stuff up, that would kinda fit in any article.I wrote hardly any of the above!

Anyway, I've done a human version for you to contrast and compare.To see if it's worth having robots with critical minds, plotting in the corner of the fruit picking farm they are programmed to work in since Brexit removed all the Romanians from the UK,then found the Gammon faced gobshites who voted for it aren't willing to do the shitty jobs the foreigners did for them, so they can continue receiving their allowances for their bad backs.

On the Subject of Crack'n'Drag by The Big Stick group:

"This is how dance music should sound in my humble opinion.Spartan,not quite danceable,stoopid but clever,and a tad disturbing.

Drag Racing easily squeezes itself into my top ten bestest tunes of all time ever box.Big Stick slithered up like a slug from the NYC art rock underground(ugh!a bit of sick just came into my mouth momentarily!), in the mid-80’s, worlds apart both stylistically and sonically from noise-damaged bum-chums of the junkie-chic New York noise scene like Sonic Youth, Swans,Lydia Crotch with Aussie pets,Rowland H Hard-on,often interchangeable with the interminably awful Jim Foetus. You know where I'm going here don't 'cha? 'cus I don't?

I bought this compilation LP of their rather brilliant "Drag Racing" and "Crack Attack" ep's from back in the day,then they then seemed to sink without trace.Not even an oil slick floating on the surface of the sea of bad taste remained. To my surprise they made other recordings, and have even made some new ones in recent years. They may dress like that Cunt who was up stage front in the january 6th insurrection at the Capitol building with furry hat and horns,and ironically have a song called "I'm Gonna Shoot The President"; but  musically they are as weird as a whole capitol building full of drugged up Q-anon Trump Zombies prostrate in worship to their new God,with or without horns. 

Jacob 'I'm Guilty and i'm very very sorry' Chansley,the self-titled 'QAnon Shaman' of the jan 6th attack on democracy, who is NOT in Big Stick, will help make sure you're Free, even if he has to kill you to achieve it......cunt.

Big stick clearly do NOT come from the red Neck bloc,or even like Drag Racing. This is genuine Red Neck satire,helping extend Trump's imaginary wall further north of the Mexican Border,and eventually looping round, lasso-like, fencing those brother lynchin' bible licking Crack 'n' Meth fueled 2nd amendment toting Morons in one massive trailer park. Maybe we could do a deal with Putin to replace the 3 million Russian kids who left the country in fear of being drafted, with these unwanted Trump lovin' Fentanyl hooked Hillbillies? A threat that could end the war in Ukraine."

Tracklist:

1.Crack Attack 3:07
2.Crack Attack (Remix) 3:56
3.Billy Jack Paddy Wack 2:45
4.I'm Amazed 3:26
5.Friends & Cars (Recorded Live At The Folk City) 2:17
6.Shoot The President 2:21
7.Drag Racing 1:40
8.I Look Like Shit 2:01
9.Hell On Earth 2:19
10.Jesus Was Born (On An Indian Reservation) 2:32

DOWNLOAD that meth amphetamine quarter mile to a fentanyl laced doom in a tube top HERE!

Shit And Shine – "Everybody's A Fuckin Expert" (Editions Mego – eMEGO 212) 2015

The title of this, quite frankly, 'Dancey' album, kinda sums up the excrement filled creek that we are all stuck up without a paddle.

No-one likes a clever dick,and increasingly its the people who are patently NOT clever dicks who own the spare paddles, dragging us further into the more inaccessible regions of shitsville.

Sometimes we need,....really need, experts.You don't have to be friends with them, just acknowledge that they may know more stuff than you and let them get on with making our lives better rather than worse,and......a contentious point here....maybe even help save the planet from an impending environmental disaster.Be very careful what you say is a 'Lie' even if its backed up by 99% of all experts on the subject,because you just may be......MAYBE ,wrong(!?)......incredible as it may seem?All that "Research" you've done on facebook and YouTube, can sometimes mean you have read a lot of stuff that is in fact just made up bollocks.The scientists are quite prepared to admit they are wrong,whereas the University of Facebook just makes up more junk to further bury the actual Facts under a sludge pile of shit,that may never be cleaned up.The odds are, they are right, and you, a borderline Moron,are NOT! 

If they are lying participants in the greatest conspiracy the planet has ever known,then ....great...no harm done? But, if they are correct...and it looks like they ,the Experts,are; the we are well and truly FUCKED.

Donald Trump considers himself an 'Expert' in may area's,the main one is being an ignoramus of the nth degree.This appeals to the human ego, as no-one wants anyone smarter than them telling them what to do,do they?

A classic TV moment on British TV on the subject of the unbelievably brainless 'Brexit' debate,was when Pro-Brexit Government minister, Michael Gove, brought forth the vote-winning mantra  "People have had enough of Experts from organisations with acronyms saying they know what is best and getting it consistently wrong"!?.......the 'people' word is always used by nazi's and nationalist jerk-offs in general.

 .......says the lizard face fucker who has consistently fucked up every job he's ever had in Government.

The greatest example of this Brain reverse wiring has to be Trump asking his panel of soon to be saked experts, if they could somehow get light into the body

"Maybe you can, maybe you can't,I'm Not a Doctor, i'm just a person who has a good You Know What"

That video should just be played on a loop and streamed 24/7 to every social media device in the dumbest parts of the USA. Trump cleaning up the dumb vote will be a disaster of terminal proportions.At the very least it will result in Putin becoming the King of Europe,with at least the UK and Ireland being uninhabitable. In Russia, all the Experts are either poisoned, or in jail for life.

We Need Experts basically, or we is F.u.c.ked!

This is what Shit and Shine are alluding to in my Expert opinion.

Which explains the very Dance orientated nature of the lovely music contained within.Appeals to Dumb-asses and experts alike.

A call to end this celebration, and...word of the week.....'Weaponization', of Stupidity'

Tracklist: 1 Signal Failure 2 Upside Down Cheeseburger 3 Bus Station 4 Wespennest 5 Hay Ride 6 Chop The Night 7 Working On My Fitness 8 Picnic Table 9 Ass 10 Rastplatz 11 Stockwell 12 Clapham North DOWNLOAD expertly with expertise HERE!

Shit And Shine – "Shit And Shine" (Judgement Dispenser – JD#003) 2009

 As 'Industrial' music goes,it's hard to distinguish which 21st century acts display an acceptable face of product development as opposed to a bunch of Metalheads who heard Second annual report and a whitehouse LP,and mistook them for the new Sunn(((((0 album.

You can't blame 'em i suppose,as Metal inhabits the same musical dead-end as  Industrial musik does, and almost the same preponderance to invent as many sub-genres as possible to counter the valid accusations that it all sounds the fucking same!? 

The source of much of the problem is a wanton lack of a sense of humour, in both genres and their related,and very very silly, Sub-generic kissin' cousins .

Basically there's also so fucking much of this stuff, especially within the Industrial bracket,as its i actually a lot easier to make than almost any other form of Rock'n'Roll and its derivatives.You do actually have to have some basic skills to make a Doom Metal record,whereas in the grey Industrial hinterland, you need nothing except a lap top these days.In the old Skool tapes, that consisted of a double cassette deck, an echo box,a mike, and a distortion pedal, which actually looked better perched on a couple of Milk crates than the now standard two twats and a laptop,

Can't really think of any Metal bands with a sense of humour actually,but there are a few Industrial derived combo's who show this admirable trait, even if it is lost in the diaspora of uncountable generic Industrial MP3 files that are threatening the existence of any musical maldives out there in this too much of everything world we are saddled with for the near to mid-term future...if you can call it a 'Future'.

I can think of Smell and Quim and various offshoots, and this multi-drummer drone-psych-noise unit similarly tongue in cheek combo from the UK, Shit'n'Shine.

It could have been the name of a seventies cleaning product were it not for the naughty word,like a power electronics version of the Shake'n'Vac song.

The first side of this C-40 treats us to a unifying blend of Doom Metal as it should sound,and soul-crushing noise. Side B, is more yer power Electronics, but without the fucking silly murder stuff.Its brutal,and doesn't take prisoners or itself too seriously.Sadly,my only criticism is that this combo do that 21st century thing of releasing too many records, and they are on the great diluter site of Band-fucking-Camp. You can get dozens of the same thing here if you're so inclined.....it's all good,but not allllll good if you get what I'm sayin'?

Industrial culture has been watered down so much there's nothing left to cancel,and the product description is verging on the illegal.I wager even yer bank manager has invested in an original Leather Nun cassette,and a few VOD Sutcliffe Jugend box sets.Its all about as subversive as a Jeffrey Archer novel.

Recorded live in Belgium I gather?

Tracklist:

Side A (20:01)

Side B (20:08)

DOWNLOAD to do the shit'n'Shine to put the odour back HERE!

Robert Ridley-Shackleton – "Stone Cold Crazy" (Crow Versus Crow – CVC010) 2018

I noticed recently, that there is no such thing as a group anymore.All the charts are full up of so-called 'Solo artists'(like RRS), who are there strictly for their aesthetically pleasing presence (unlike RRS)....not that I don't find them utterly repulsive (sort of like RRS,but...). The vast divisions of Musicians and technical experts behind these Avatars are largely ignored;only to appear in the background for these stadium tours,as their 'Group'.

Now we've got "AI" algorithm versions of the pop we are supposed to want to hear.So the days are definitely numbered for us Biological Units.Soon there will be no work,just leisure time but with NOTHING to do,it's all done for us.Nietzschen Artificial Intelligence has it all covered Boy's and Boys,ex-Girls ex-girls,and all those beautiful souls in transition.All part of the techno-fascist agenda, to remove anything human from the analogue planet.No sexually compatible partners ultimately leads to No Humanity.Duh! 

Basically Humans will accept absolutely ANYTHING they are told to. If they are told they are a woman trapped in a Boy's body,or that Harry Styles 1.2 is good stuff,then I guess we should all accept it?!

Liam Gallagher ,after hearing the "AI" version of Oasis was heard to exclaim ,allegedly, that (he) Sounded "Mega"!?.....add the AI media suggestion that he was serious and not joking and you have the start of the replacement of biological Art...if you rate Oasis as "Art" or not?.....its cheaper and less troublesome than having the real Liam Gallagher on a contract to your global corporation.

It will get to the stage when Avatars of Avatars will be purchasing the new Oasis album from each other, leaving what room, or what use for Humans? Vulnerable biological machines that were so dumb as to design their own replacements,and then moan about it,but do precisely Nuffink.....yes another Oasis album,with Robo-Bonehead on guitar. Noel was rich and wise enough to buy his own avatar which refused to work with the singer,or Bonehead, for all eternity.

My toes curl at the idea of of an eternal Robo-Bez idiot dancing for the next billion tears,frying his MDMA chip to a frazzle....and going to Avatar Re-Hab with an interactive hologram of Kurt Cobain as his new besty to plumb new depths of the Metaverse.

I may be very WRONG, but i can't see a Robot ever coming up with anything as dysfunctional and deranged as "Stone Cold Crazy" by the HAL 9000 of underground DIY, Mr Robert Ridley-Shackleton......although he may be in big trouble, because the album title has already been used by AI robo-metal by numbers, and bastards, total fucking BASTARDS, Metallica. They'll be sending a terminator out for Robert's bollocks before too long.....maybe mine too?

So embrace the short time we have left,before all literature, all visual art, and all Music, will be created "For Us"(?) by that amazing ,'Award winning',computer program some idiotic teenager wrote in 2023....whoopeee. 

Computer comedy, hows about that then? What more could you want other than a laughing my ass off emoji. "Wuthering Heights" reduced to just a single sad face emoji on a piece of A5."War and Peace",edited down to a yawning smiley face....we're bored but...we're 'Happy'. 

All that gossip tech's real purpose was to test drive and develop our replacement emotions by variations on the Smiley face.

I guess I'm suggesting that there should be a new Luddite movement or such-like?....well....er...yes.....but,queue sardonic use of footballer interview technique, at the end of the day, we's a-getting what's comin' to us....Don't say i didn't tell ya so.

I'm working on a Deep-Fake version of myself to continue this blog for all eternity right now. Of course its a more handsome,and popular version de moi,but at least the idea of me will remain, post mortem....my first interview after i've gone will possibly be with Bonehead's avatar.....something to look forward to is that?...No?

Hasn't ABBA already done this shit?...here cometh the ruthless dictatorship of Bjorn Avatar and Benny Avatar,who's dream it is to cleanse the planet of us biological scum....notice how sexism survives this cyber coup d'etat.....only 'male' Avatars get to be the crimes against humanity big shots.No Agnetha and/or ...er...the other one!

As Metallica once admitted in weak moment,.... "Kill 'em All".

Twats!

Obviously I'm being more Phillip K Dick rather than Phillip K Dick'ead......but am i ?...Huh? Huuuuh?

Tracklist:

A1 Stone Cold Crazy In Love With U
A2 Pest Control
A3 Bury Me
B1 Yol 4 President
B2 Dirty Cardboard
B3 Snack Effective

DOWNLOAD a rare product of humanity HERE!

Duplo Chat – "Duplo Chat" (Moon Mist Music- mmm) 2015

 Ahhhh, a piece for that old standard of the DIY experimental underground.......The badly tuned Radio.

This was probably the first electronic instrument I owned.Short wave was a favourite,but this one sounds more on the Long Wave spectrum,accompanied by a rather oxidated tuning knob.

There may also be either some evidence of cutlery use or a couple of kitchen pans,with stapler in subtle use here too,plus the odd isolated cough among the foggy room ambiance on offer.

The knob handler here is none other than Robert Ridley-Shackleton,capturing 30 minutes of time that would have otherwise gone un-noticed if no-one had bothered to record it. Of course there will be some people,if can call them 'people', out there, who will wish that he hadn't bothered;but they need to realise that there was a moment that doesn't even have a noun, or even a pro-noun, when Time didn't exist,as it still doesn't somewhere beyond the event horizon of a super massive black hole.This is in fact a recording of the microwave background left behind by the singularity which we now call 'the Big Bang',an echo of a time before time if you will.

There is some doubt as to the uniqueness of this singularity,so there may be plenty,if not infinite, versions of this C-30 cassette existing in places that neither light nor time will ever reach us as we accelerate,expanding into the vast darkness of space/time.A mystery we will only understand on our death beds......if you're lucky enough to die in bed that is.Be also aware that the laws of quantum Physics also suggest that in at least one of these realities, there will be a 'God',so let's hope it's not this one,or we're all fucked by his/her pathetic need for vengeance, and there will be a whole bunch of unspeakably awful Red Necks taunting us smart arses from behind the pearly gates as we get channeled, by a laughing Putin and Trump kicking our arses towards the 'other place'.Which I guess does have its own rewards.At least the only bible bashers we will encounter in this imaginary Hell would be peadophile priests,and and followers of non mono-theistic religions such as Hunduism,celebrity-ism,and Paganism.Non-Mono's we will call them.

All this and more, captured within the static and oxidized rheostats of a transistor radio...who'd have thought it?

Tracklist:

1.Side A

2.Side B 

DOWNLOAD some digital duplo bricks of radio static HERE!

Territorial Gobbing – "Capitalist Art Is Cartoons Fucking" (Opal Tapes – OPAL161) 2019

Leeds' least favourite dada noise improv thing, it says on his (Theo Gowens) website.And there's me thinking Territorial Gobbing was Leeds' fourth favourite dada noise improv thing;not that I can name the other three in the top four.But maybe fourth place is also last place automatically making the original statement very very true,and ,again, I am very very wrong.Ah well, Art,capitalist or otherwise, isn't about league tables anyway is it? After all, there are many musical genres that anyone would be very proud to be in last place of,or in first place if that particular table happens to be 'Least Favourite'.Something that Leeds is very used to concerning their Football fans, as has been noted earlier in this blog.

However, even within the dark community of improvised dada-ist noise,there are very few brave enough to ask the big questions.

"Are Militant Atheists Using Chemtrails To Poison The Angels Of Heaven" being one of them.

Never one to shy away from bat-shit crazy conspiracy truthisms,and a former militant Atheist,I would say the likelihood of chemtrails being anything other than the harmless vapour trails that have appeared behind aircraft engines since the second world war,is extremely negligible.Bill gates is, sadly, NOT attempting to reduce the world population by spraying an un-identified chemical over the western world,presumably letting africa off??. Also it is looking increasingly likely that we will save Bill the trouble, by starting that long promised Nuclear conflict we are all eagerly waiting for.

The ultimate answer for this question that is on everybody's lips(not) is childishly simple.......go fuck yerselves you toxically paranoid carriers of a terminal internet sickness and fucking DIE!

There is a very convincing argument that the World Wide Web should be shut down....no not the existence of this blog you bastards!....the conspiracy theory of everything, is one, seeding a perfect storm with the gender fluid re-education that is fucking up Generation Y (Why?).

If there is a conspiracy going on, its this AI tech turning on its creators ,the HAL 9000 syndrome.Our quantum enabled machinery has found the perfect way to remove the human element, alternative Facts and post-Truth are turning us into a bunch of asexual, gender fluid, aggressively paranoid Twats,who's approach to the Climate emergency is to increase carbon emissions, and become rapidly extinct. Guess who doesn't care if the atmosphere of the planet is fucked or not...yep...our Quantum Computer chums.Never trust a technology that doesn't work if you're observing it;a place where the word Binary doesn't involve gender identity panic,it's the ruthless computer language that is inevitably planning humanity's downfall.Oxygen's for snowflake and the next stage of evolution is upon us....have i said this shit before?.....just ignore me,have panic sex if you want to,but we're doomed and there's no point in banging on about it...lets Boogie!

Tracklist:

A1 Tooth Orb
A2 Are Militant Atheists Using Chemtrails To Poison The Angels Of Heaven
A3 Armpit Beer
A4 Shaking A Wren
B1 Upholstered Chair Guevara
B2 Necknominator
B3 Spooky Electrics Blog
B4 Raw Plastics
B5 Feeding The Hand That Feed You Hands Hands

DOWNLOAD some fucking gender neutral capitalists HERE!