Ted Chippington – "Walking Down The Road (A History Of Ted Chippington)" (Big Print – WELLx3) 2007

"I was walking down the road the other day, mate of mine pulled up, in his car,and he said, "I'm in a dilemma mate" and I said, 'Aye, good motors, Dilemmas. I was thinking of buying one myself. A red one perhaps?"

A box set...you heard... A BOX SET!?.. of the Anti-Comedian's Anti-Comedian,Ted Chippington. Whose act consisted of but one joke,which invariably began with "I was walking down the Road...", a wanton act of minimalism intended to wind up the less savvy members of the audience, which for the most part were there mainly for whatever indie band he was usually supporting.He only had one joke, but a lot of the crowd never got it.Even realising that he was being deliberately Bad missed the point.The 'joke' was subtle in it's unsubtlety ,dare I say,even sophisticated?

Many were so offended by his inability to locate their funny bones that they threatened to break Chippington's. But for the cognoscenti who took him to their heart, that was precisely Chippington's appeal.
Word spread. The cult grew. Yet as fame, fortune and the big time beckoned, Chippington retreated from the stage.Especially after his notorious appearance on daytime TV,on the execrably awful Pebble Mill at One;which stands as a living example of why alternative culture should never be in the same room as the mainstream (I too flirted with an invitation to appear on Pebble Mill with my 'crazy' sculptures.....we turned it down...would have been on with Zola Budd,the bare footed athlete Lol!). He had, in his own words, become "too popular". Choosing, instead, to opt out;after the Vindaloo Records tour of the USA,he stayed and found work driving trucks along America's Pacific Highway, before returning to a life of peaceful, uneventful obscurity in the West Country.

Nowadays, he's back,and currently touring the UK as support for The Nightingales again!?

"I was walking down the road the other day, when this chap said to me.An Hippie chap like: "D'you want some LSD man?" I said: "No thanks mate, we've gone decimalised now. Pounds, shillings, pence - no use to me any more."

Tracklist:

Good Evening To All Mankind
1-1 Improvisation 0:06
1-2 Good Evening To All Mankind 18:21
1-3 Monthly Return To Cornwall 53:42

The Human Being Years
2-1 Salisbury 3:10
2-2 Southampton 12:30
2-3 London 5:43
2-4 Preston 6:33
2-5 Stonehenge 7:21
2-6 Non Stop Party Hits Of The 50's 60's & 70's Side 1 6:41
2-7 Non Stop Party Hits Of The 50's 60's & 70's Side 2 7:12
2-8 Liverpool 11:38

The Big Time
3-1 Man In A Suitcase Side 1 21:38
3-2 Man In A Suitcase Side 2 24:41
3-3 Times Gone By 3:59
3-4 Drivin' Down The Road 1:58
3-5 Remember It Well 12:34
3-6 Weirdness 5:58
The Real Truth About Trucking

4-1 Call Me Rockin' 1:28
4-2 The Real Truth About Trucking Sides 1 & 2 40:04
4-3 The Wanderer 2:45
4-4 The Xmas Hit/Tesco 19:50
4-5 Pull Up 5:14

I Was walking DOWN the LOAD HERE!

Ted Chippington – "Man In A Suitcase" (Vindaloo Records – YUS 6) 1986

"I was walking down the road the other day, this chap comes up to me; he says, "I've just got back from 'Nam." I said, "What d'you mean mate, Vietnam?" He says, "No, Chelt-'nam"

There used to be a TV series called the Man in a Suitcase,made by the same folks (ITC entertainment) who did The Champions,Department S,Randall and Hopkirk(deceased)and the like. Endless fun was had watching all this stuff the second time round in the afternoon TV schedules  when I made the fatal error of working from home in the eighties;which roughly translated, means watching TV all day with me mates.Luckily I was on benefits at the same time(illegal),and lived at home with me lovely mam and dad,may their souls rest in piece.

The same time period was fleshed out in the comedy department by 'Top Comedian' Ted Chippington,whose main aim in showbiz was to alienate the audience by being 'crap'.Frequently he found himself as the support act for such hip acts as the Fall and The Nightingales,whose Vindaloo label released Ted's records.Ted's thing was not to make audiences laugh but to get up their noses. Or, as he puts it himself: "To make the main band seem better."

With a deadpan drawl and the sort of punchline-less gags that would leave the average punter baffled (it doesn't take much). Invariably starting "I was walking down the road the other day...", Ted's jokes were anti-climatic nuggets of pathos, dressed up as surrealistic nonchalance.The kind of empty chit-chat you hear between persons of a certain age at the fruit and veg stall down the market.

"I was walking down the road the other day, this chap walked up to me and said 'Do you want to buy some grass, mate?' I said 'No thanks, mate, I've got crazy paving. Haven't got a garden, you see.'"

He was a refreshing change from those facking awful shouty shouty left wing "Alternative" comedian bastards of the time(yawn),like cheeky faux cockney jack the lad middle class champagne socialist Ben Elton,and the jokeless drama they called "The Young Ones".....we wanted an alternative to all that shouty Thatcher baiting boredom, and Ted provided it....at least until he went on the Vindaloo tour of America and never came back. I don't know how his routine went down in America....do any video's exist? The man himself explains: "I tried to make a career there," he explains. "The Americans were surprisingly responsive but it never really took off. It's such a big place. I stayed there til I couldn't afford it."

He's back now, and resurrecting his career...what career? Still on tour with The Nightingales....the best gig in any town is that one.

"I look forward to when I've got a car and I can drive down the road, so I won't get all these characters coming up to me."

Tracklist:

A1 Introduction
A2 Rock'n'Roll on 33
A3 Ready Eddie
A4 Life On The Road
A5 Rocking Ribbons
A6 Comedian By Trade
A7 She Loves You
A8 Interview
B1 Feel Like Buddy Holly
B2 True Greatness
B3 Atmosphere

B4 True Stories
B5 Rocking With Rita
B6 Weirdness Oh No
B7 BRMB
B8 Cheers

DOWNLOAD about here...roughly speaking 

Various Artists – "Ideal Guest House" (Shelter) 1986 & "The First After Epiphany" (Ron Johnson Records – ZRON 21) 1987

As I received a request for a Ron Johnson compilation,it reminded me of the official comedian attached to this shambling Ron Johnson style stuff, Ted "I was Walking Down the Road" Chippington. I'm not sure if he was into this kind of popular music,but he was enlisted to be the compare of this trendy compilation cassette to support homeless charity "Shelter"; which is rather apt as we are facing the largest homeless crisis in Europe since world war too. Its time to start world war Free (dom) innit? I am of course referring to the current Invasion of Ukraine by that nice Mr Putin man....just in case you are part of the uninformed majority,or living in Russia....in which case i have to inform you that your army has been committing War crimes against your Slavic brothers in the west.....basically you're fucked.

The drole monotone self-elected worst comedian in the world ever Ted,links together a bunch of shambling C86-era,Johnson related groups in his characteristic stoic manner...at times he's even funny!?

Its got Bog-Shed and bIG fLAME on it, what more could you want or need?......just ignore the Chumbawamba track,...oooooh, they didn't like Neil Kinnock.....edgy stuff not, nuff said.

Tracklist:

A1 Big Flame– Man Of Few Syllables
A2 The Wedding Present– You Should Always Keep In Touch With Your Friends (alt Version)
A3 The Soup Dragons– Fair's Fair
A4 The Creepers– Sharper And Wider
A5 The Shop Assistants – Home Again (Live)
A6 The June Brides– This Town (Accoustic)
A7 Rob Grant with Yeah Yeah Noh– Mr. Hammond Has Breakfast In Bed
B1 Stump– Kitchen Table
B2 The Legend!– Everythings Coming Up Roses
B3 Pigbros– Barren Land
B4 Stitched Back Foot Airman– The Deadly Spore
B5 BMX Bandits– Sad?
B6 Bog-shed – Jobless Youngsters
B7 Chumbawamba– Kinnochio

DOWNLOAD and give these tracks a home HERE!

Oh Yeah!...here's that Ron Johnson sampler LP "The First After Epiphany" that i mistakenly thought had no exclusive tracks on it, and you could get them from the other official releases on the blog if you search for Ron Johnson Records. I was wrong, There's at least a Twang! track that one can't get elsewhere,and maybe an errant Splat! number,or anything else with an exclamation mark in it's name:

"The First After Epiphany"
Ron Johnson Records – ZRON 21 (1987)

Tracklist:

A1 Splat!– Mistook
A2 Big Flame– XPQWRTZ
A3 A Witness– Dipping Bird
A4 Stump– Big End
A5 MacKenzies– Man With No Reason
B1 The Shrubs– Blackmailer
B2 The Ex– Knock
B3 Twang – Here's Lukewarm
B4 The Nose Flutes– Bodyhair Up In The Air
B5 The Great Leap Forward– Drowning Speechless
B6 Jackdaw With Crowbar– Crow

DOWNLOAD this epiphanal moment HERE!