A classic post from October 2008 in memory of Ms. Diller.One of my alltime favorite Halloween treats when I was a kid was when local channel 9 WOR in New York would broadcast MAD MONSTER PARTY? (the question mark is part of the title-who knew?) on their 4:00 MOVIE.This wonderful Rankin/Bass "Animagic" feature was released theatrically in 1969-but really found its legs when it was syndicated to local stations in the 1970s. It's cast boasts a who's who of movie monsters - Count Dracula! The Wolf Man! The Mummy! The Invisible Man! Frankenstein's Monster! Dr. Jekyll! Mr. Hyde! The Creature (from the Black Lagoon)! The Hunchback of Notre Dame! It! (aka King Kong) and Phyllis Diller! The only one missing was John McCain.Boris Karloff voices Baron Von Frankenstein - who assembles these characters (The Worldwide Organization of Monsters) to announce his retirement - and introduce his nerdy nephew Felix and shapely new creation Francesca to the group. Even as a gay kid, I knew Francesca was HOT! I wonder if Francesca was the visual inspiration for MAD MEN's Joan Holloway? Hmmm...With character designs by the great Mad Magazine cartoonist Jack Davis, and some of the best stop-motion imagery ever, MAD MONSTER PARTY? is an absolute must-see for animation lovers. While the story may now be a bit slow-moving, and not as clever as I remember it from my childhood - I'd rather sit through this than the more recent "monster mash" called VAN HELSING any day of the year.MAD MONSTER PARTY also features some great musical numbers...and come on, you gotta love Phyllis Diller - here a pic of me and my husband John with Ms. Diller at her lovely Brentwood home in 2008. She's was 90+ and still a hoot!
Damn - I wish I had this on VHS tape. Anthony Perkins (who I once had the pleasure of meeting) hosts at look at 60 magical years of movie monsters, madmen and creatures of the night. Imagine of the networks still had the moxie to program stuff like this?
I know I've been neglecting my readers lately with mostly wordless posts and reruns from years gone by. I don't want to become the NBC of Blogger, so while I devise a plan to come up with some new and exciting topics, here's a bunch of random Christmas crap that I've collected over the years.
Wow DC Comics gave us SHAZAM! for Christmas one year...and history seems to be repeating itself because this year SHAZAM is coming back for another issue. In January, SHAZAM #1 will arrive, continuing the tale of current Captain Marvel Freddy Freeman, powerless former Cap Billy Batson and his sister Mary. Black Adam, Isis and back-from-the-dead Osiris also figure into the plot! Let's hop it's good and leads to an ongoing series!
If superhero zombies aren't your cup of nog, perhaps a yuletide-themed Frankenstein cover of Monster World magazine is more your speed. What an awesome cover, I so wish I had this framed on my bathroom wall. Gotta love all that hand-drawn blood-dripping typography. Nothing says Scary Christmas like monsters, ghouls, zombies and vampires...and not those soft-core porn TWILIGHT vampires!
Yikes! Speaking of scary...how many poor defenseless animals were slaughtered so Mr. Showmanship can pose for this horrifying holiday portrait? I'm so sure it must have been below zero when he stepped out of this Palm Springs home for this snapshot. Well, if Lee was still alive, I'd be first in line to toss a bucket of red paint on that atrocity. Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Lee's house, not a creature was furry, not even a mouse!
In honor of the L.A. premiere of the documentary BEST WORST MOVIE (Opening THIS FRIDAY, May 21, at the Landmark NuArt), I re-present my post about TROLL 2! ATROLL 2 (1990 directed by Claudio Fragasso aka Drake Floyd) is one of those rare sequels that requires that you know nothing about the first film because it is, in fact NOT a sequel to TROLL. Not only that, but no actual trolls appear in TROLL 2- only Goblins. One wonders why it wasn't called TROLL 2: RISE OF THE GOBLINS or something to that effect. This film has gained quite a cult following in the past few years and I needed to see why.The plot of this oddball exercise in filmmaking concerns an average suburban family (Mom, Dad, two kids and a dead grandpa), who decide to swap houses with a Amish-like countrified clan from the nearby small "half-empty" town called Nilbog–and the madness that ensues.
We first meet a likable freckle-faced boy named Joshua and his dead grandfather, Seth. Yup - gramps died 6 months earlier but he just can't stop hanging out in Joshua's room, reading him scary bedtime stories. Tonight he's telling the tale of THE GOBLINS - the mischievous vegetarian creatures who trick humans into consuming magical food which will turn them into vegetables–so the goblins can eat them!Meanwhile Joshua's horny sister, Holly- a Jazzercise junkie– is visited by her beau Elliot. She thinks he might be gay because he spends too much time with his male friends. Holly wants Elliot to join her family on vacation in Nilbog–but Holly insists–only if he comes without his buddies. Here's a sample of the snappy dialogue between them:
Elliott: I'm the victim of a nocturnal rapture. I have to release my lowest instincts with a woman.
Holly: [slams Elliott in the balls] Release your instincts in the bathroom.
Elliott: Are you nuts? You tryin' to turn me into a homo?
Holly: Wouldn't be too hard. If my father discovers you here, he'd cut off your little nuts and eat them. He can't stand you.
Later, in the car, after mom coaxes Joshua to "sing that song I like so much" (aka "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"), Joshua has a feverish nightmare about his family turning into goblins. Grandpa Seth appears again, posing as a hitchhiker on the side of the road. Joshua tells his parents to stop the car because he has to puke. Ghostly Seth informs urges him to convince his parents to turn back or else they'll be eaten by goblins in Nilbog! The family coax Joshua back into the car and away from the homeless man. They think that Joshua is making up stories. I have to point out here that the poor actors playing the parents are among the worst I've ever seen - you have to wonder if it's the director's fault.
When they arrive in Nilbog, the townspeople seem a bit odd and aloof, very Stepford. Their doppelganger family has left them a meal that is covered in green cake frosting. Grampa the friendly ghost tells Joshua he must stop his family from eating the food. So, Seth pulls a Hiro from HEROES and freezes time (WTF?) and crafty Joshua whips out his little Joshua and urinatesall over the dinner table. I'm not kidding.
Actual dialogue:
Father: You can't piss on hospitality! I WON'T ALLOW IT!
Joshua: What are you going to do to me, Daddy?
Father: Tightening my belt one loop so that I don't feel hunger pains, and your sister and mother will have to do likewise.
Meanwhile, Elliot and his three "gay" friends have arrived via a RV in search of Nilbog poontang, much to Holly's chagrin. One of the guys goes out for a stroll and comes across a woman who looks like she was attacked with a green cake decorator kit.
The dude and the chick are captured by a young over-acting woman in bad old-woman makeup (she's called Creedence Leonore Gielgud), who forces the duo to drink a cup of smoking, bubbling green brew that paralyses them.
The woman is soon eaten alive by goblins and the dude morphs into a green plant. The goblins' costumes: burlap potato sacks for clothes and latex masks with painted eyes.Later, Grandpa Seth appears to Holly in a mirror and she briefly freaks out. After she and Joshua swap rooms, Gramps reappears and tells Seth tells him he must convince his parents to return home!!! The next day, Joshua and pop go into town to get food that isn't covered inpiss. Little Joshua looks into a car side-view mirror hoping to contact Grandpa again, but instead discovers is reflection that "Nilbog" is "Goblin" backwards. Creepy. Not.Before you know it, the friendly townsfolk have Joshua in the Church basement where the local preacher man attempts to force feed him "ice cream". Apparently dairy is still part of the Nilbog diet. Dad shows up just in time!
Another one of Elliot's "gay" friends is sent to buy food, and is offered a ride by the seductive Sheriff, who tricks him into eating a sandwich covered in green shit. The kid gets all queasy but makes his way into the store-and asks for non-veg breakfast foods. Shopkeeper: Are you crazy, boy? We're vegetarians here in Nilbog. Didn't you know that? Here's some Nilbog milk. Special milk. High in vitamin content. Here, it's free.Somewhere around here is a seduction scene involving Creedence Leonore Gielgud , a corn cob and a teen-age boy who likes popcorn. Nuff said.
Later, Creedence Leonore Gielgud brings a housewarming gift to Joshua's mother. She says its pudding, but it looks like cake with green icing to me. Dad and Joshua return to the house to find that the village have prepared a housewarming celebration to welcome them to town and apologize for earlier misunderstanding earlier. Joshua thinks this is a trap – and runs upstairs where he is attacked by a goblin. Grandpa Seth suddenly appears and chops off the goblin's hand! Turns out the goblin was Creedence Leonore Gielgud! I think. Super Gramps soon hurls a Molotov Cocktail at the townsfolk - and the preacher man catches on fire - as he burns it is revealed that he and all the towns people are goblins!The family runs back inside the house. Now they believe that Joshua was telling the truth and that they need to contact Granpa Seth somehow.
Holly: But how are we going to make grandpa come?
Joshua: We NEED Grandpa Seth here!
Holly: But how do we get him to come? By having a seance maybe?Joshua: You're genius big sister!
So the family (plus Elliot- who seems to have forgotten about his 3 buddies) hold a séance to contact Grandpas, who tells them that he has only ten minutes left in the mortal world. Of course, then the goblins bust into the house and Dad demands that they run upstairs. Somehow Joshua and Seth are now in the church and Joshua needs put his hands on the Magic Stone Henge wall in order to defeat the goblins. Gramps then and gives him a grocery bag and vanishes.Creedence Leonore Gielgud appears (having grown her hand back!) and corners Joshua. He reaches into the the bag and pulls out a double decker baloney sandwich, which he promptly eats. How does it all end? I won't spoil it for you, but as a vegan I find it slightly offensive. Just kidding.
As mentioned above, Michael Stephenson, the child actor who played Joshua in TROLL 2, has recently made a feature-length documentary about the film called BEST WORST MOVIE. The film has been playing to sold-out crowds in New York, has its L.A. premiere tomorrow night - I am so looking forward to seeing it. It was recently announced that TROLL 2: PART 2 is in pre-production. Check all it out here. As for TROLL 2 - WOW - 10 outta 10.
Just in time for Halloween...TROLL 2 (1990 directed by Claudio Fragasso aka Drake Floyd) is one of those rare sequels that requires that you know nothing about the first film because it is, in fact NOT a sequel to TROLL. Not only that, but no actual trolls appear in TROLL 2- only Goblins. One wonders why it wasn't called TROLL 2: RISE OF THE GOBLINS or something to that effect. This film has gained quite a cult following in the past few years and I needed to see why.The plot of this oddball exercise in filmmaking concerns an average suburban family (Mom, Dad, two kids and a dead grandpa), who decide to swap houses with a Amish-like countrified clan from the nearby small "half-empty" town called Nilbog–and the madness that ensues.
We first meet a likable freckle-faced boy named Joshua and his dead grandfather, Seth. Yup - gramps died 6 months earlier but he just can't stop hanging out in Joshua's room, reading him scary bedtime stories. Tonight he's telling the tale of THE GOBLINS - the mischievious vegetarian creatures who trick humans into consuming magical food which will turn them into vegetables–so the goblins can eat them!Meanwhile Joshua's horny sister, Holly- a Jazzercise junkie– is visited by her beau Elliot. She thinks he might be gay because he spends too much time with his male friends. Holly wants Elliot to join her family on vacation in Nilbog–but Holly insists–only if he comes without his buddies. Here's a sample of the snappy dialogue between them: Elliott: I'm the victim of a nocturnal rapture. I have to release my lowest instincts with a woman. Holly: [slams Elliott in the balls] Release your instincts in the bathroom. Elliott: Are you nuts? You tryin' to turn me into a homo? Holly: Wouldn't be too hard. If my father discovers you here, he'd cut off your little nuts and eat them. He can't stand you.
Later, in the car, after mom coaxes Joshua to "sing that song I like so much" (aka "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"), Joshua has a feverish nightmare about his family turning into goblins. Granpa Seth appears again, posing as a hitchhiker on the side of the road. Joshua tells his parents to stop the car because he has to puke. Ghostly Seth informs urges him to convince his parents to turn back or else they'll be eaten by goblins in Nilbog! The family coax Joshua back into the car and away from the homeless man. They think that Joshua is making up stories. I have to point out here that the poor actors playing the parents are among the worst I've ever seen - you have to wonder if it's the director's fault.
When they arrive in Nilbog, the townspeople seem a bit odd and aloof, very Stepford. Their doppleganger family has left them a meal that is covered in green cake frosting. Grampa the friendly ghost tells Joshua he must stop his family from eating the food. So, Seth pulls a Hiro from HEROES and freezes time (WTF?) and crafty Joshua whips out his little Joshua and urinates all over the dinner table. I'm not kidding.
Actual dialogue: Father: You can't piss on hospitality! I WON'T ALLOW IT! Joshua: What are you going to do to me, Daddy?
Father: Tightening my belt one loop so that I don't feel hunger pains, and your sister and mother will have to do likewise.
Meanwhile, Elliot and his three "gay" friends have arrived via a RV in search of Nilbog poontang, much to Holly's chagrin. One of the guys goes out for a stroll and comes across a woman who looks like she was attacked with a green cake decorator kit.
The dude and the chick are captured by a young over-acting woman in bad old-woman makeup (she's called Creedence Leonore Gielgud), who forces the duo to drink a cup of smoking, bubbling green brew that paralyses them.
The woman is soon eaten alive by goblins and the dude morphs into a green plant. The goblins' costumes: burlap potato sacks for clothes and latex masks with painted eyes.Later, Grandpa Seth appears to Holly in a mirror and she briefly freaks out. After she and Joshua swap rooms, Gramps reappears and tells Seth tells him he must convince his parents to return home!!! The next day, Joshua and pop go into town to get food that isn't covered in piss. Little Joshua looks into a car side-view mirror hoping to contact Grandpa again, but instead discovers is reflection that "Nilbog" is "Goblin" backwards. Creepy. Not.Before you know it, the friendly townsfolk have Joshua in the Church basement where the local preacher man attempts to force feed him "ice cream". Apparently dairy is still part of the Nilbog diet. Dad shows up just in time!
Another one of Elliot's "gay" friends is sent to buy food, and is offered a ride by the seductive Sheriff, who tricks him into eating a sandwich covered in green shit. The kid gets all queasy but makes his way into the store-and asks for non-veg breakfast foods. Shopkeeper: Are you crazy, boy? We're vegetarians here in Nilbog. Didn't you know that? Here's some Nilbog milk. Special milk. High in vitamin content. Here, it's free.Somewhere around here is a seduction scene involving Creedence Leonore Gielgud , a corn cob and a teen-age boy who likes popcorn. Nuff said.
Later, Creedence Leonore Gielgud brings a housewarming gift to Joshua's mother. She says its pudding, but it looks like cake with green icing to me. Dad and Joshua return to the house to find that the village have prepared a housewarming celebration to welcome them to town and apologize for earlier misunderstanding earlier. Joshua thinks this is a trap – and runs upstairs where he is attacked by a goblin. Grandpa Seth suddenly appears and chops off the goblin's hand! Turns out the goblin was Creedence Leonore Gielgud! I think. Super Gramps soon hurls a Molotov Cocktail at the townsfolk - and the preacher man catches on fire - as he burns it is revealed that he and all the towns people are goblins!The family runs back inside the house. Now they believe that Joshua was telling the truth and that they need to contact Granpa Seth somehow. Holly: But how are we going to make grandpa come? Joshua: We NEED Grandpa Seth here! Holly: But how do we get him to come? By having a seance maybe?Joshua: You're genius big sister!
So the family (plus Elliot- who seems to have forgotten about his 3 buddies) hold a séance to contact Grandpas, who tells them that he has only ten minutes left in the mortal world. Of course, then the goblins bust into the house and Dad demands that they run upstairs. Somehow Joshua and Seth are now in the church and Joshua needs put his hands on the Magic Stone Henge wall in order to defeat the goblins. Gramps then and gives him a grocery bag and vanishes.Creedence Leonore Gielgud appears (having grown her hand back!) and corners Joshua. He reaches into the the bag and pulls out a double decker baloney sandwich, which he promptly eats. How does it all end? I won't spoil it for you, but as a vegan I find it slightly offensive. Just kidding.
Michael Stephenson, the child actor who played Joshua in TROLL 2, has recently made a feature-length documentary about the film called BEST WORST MOVIE and it was recently announced that TROLL 2: PART 2 is in pre-production. Check all it out here. As for TROLL 2 - WOW - 10 outta 10.
Hello faithful readers, I may have mentioned in the past that my dear friend Danny occasionally hosts SURPRISE MOVE NIGHT parties at his home. A few transcripts from those events, written by Danny, have appeared on this very blog in the past. This past Saturday we were treated to a special SURPRISE MOVIE MATINEE - and I am turning today's post over to Danny once again to report on the proceedings. Take it away, Danny...Thanks, Dougsploitation! I'm Danny. Seeing as how this was my first surprise movie event in a while, it naturally started off as a disaster! I couldn't get my damn DVD player to work and I had to go to Plan B: the dreaded VHS!!! I put in something called PROTOTYPE X29A... It was horribly unwatchable! Except for the hot Prototype robot costume (which accentuated a hot Prototype butt) there was nothing notable about this feature so we yanked it and recommenced fretting over the faulty DVD player. Guest viewer Tony C. was really helpful here, but everything we/he tried so valiantly just left us more confounded. Then, I realized my "portable porn player" had a cable I could attach to the TV and, VOILA! we had our original intended feature...and the reason we had calamari for lunch...MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS! Starring Deborah Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas! Yeah, start kicking yourselves now! This movie, brought to us by the notorious folks over at THE ASYLUM, is a treat for all group movie watchers. Queue up your Netflix now! It all starts with pop 80's sensation and Playboy model Deborah Gibson... yes, she did Playboy. Yes, she did! Don't contradict me, I know what I'm talking about! See? It was a nice little spread... In all honesty, I thought it was cute & tasteful. Anyway, she puts on some clothes and plays Q-Bert inside a minisub while listening to whales and other sea life play instruments. The Sea lion played the oboe. She must have been possessed, or something like that, cause every time she handled the controls, her hand would have black fingernails and seemed very man-like, but then all normal again as she played Q-Bert.Meanwhile, a helicopter above drops a flashy coffee thermos into the water which makes the concert go awry and all the whales skedaddle. Then Deborah thinks she hallucinates a frozen mega shark and giant octopus, so she don't say nothing about it.Later the giant octopus angrily attacks an offshore rig in Japan, killing almost everyone onboard and the mega shark eats a plane! (Doug's note: this has got to be seen to be believed!)Back in Long Beach, which in this movie is called" San Francisco", Deborah goes to CSI a whale washed up on the beach. She gets all Sheriff Brody and the head guy says it was done by a propeller- case closed! As a true Playboy model would, Deborah sneaks back and pulls a mega tooth fragment out of the whale. She calls her old professor, Dr. Old Guy and asks his opinion. He tells her it's a mega shark tooth. Then her former classmate, Asian Guy, comes to ask Dr. Old Guy about the giant eye he sketched based on the account of a giant eye witness from the rig. Dr. Old Guy says it's a giant octopus' eye. Lorenzo Lamas then Shanghais the trio and takes them to some super secret naval base thing. He tells them, in the most ass-holey way he can, that they need to find a way to stop these giant mega creatures. Speaking of which, the monsters attack subs that are lit like early 80's music videos. The Asian subs are mainly yellow with a blue complementary light, while the American subs are mainly yellow with a fuchsia complementary light. ANYway... Deborah, Dr. Old Guy and Asian Guy spend a lot of time mixing Easter egg dye in tubes and beakers and, in the most brilliant scene in the movie, Deborah is absolutely crestfallen when she mixes blue and red and gets purple!!To cheer her up Asian Guy says something that really turns her on and they sneak away to do "it" in a broom closet. That is all the inspiration Deborah needs! She realizes that they can lure the giant mega monsters to place that makes them easy to be captured... and they'll lure them with furry moans! Yeah, that stuff that attracts one sex to the other, unless they're gay. I think they intend on using Deborah's furry moans. And to prove it'll work, Deborah mixes a green egg dye with a yellow egg dye and it GLOWS!! That proves it! They lure the Mega Shark to the San Francisco bay, where he'll get stuck between two continental shelves, but things go awry in the music video subs and the plan fails. The shark, angry that he's not going to get it on with Deborah, eats the Golden Gate Bridge ... don't be a tease with a horny mega shark! Meanwhile, Asian Guy reports that things went wrong with the giant octopus, too, but the was no budget to show it, so we just believe him. After Lorenzo Lamas tells them that thousands of people have been killed, in the most ass-holey way he can, he says they're gonna nuke them. Deborah won't stand for it and suggests getting them to fight & kill each other... getting them together with her furry moans, again. The stupid giant monsters fall for the furry moan trick again and fight each other in a quick cut, repeated shot, cgi fight. They die and Deborah & Asian Guy hook up to live in oceanic peace... until Dr. old Guy brings them another case! THE END.
One of my alltime favorite Halloween treats when I was a kid was when local channel 9 WOR in New York would broadcast MAD MONSTER PARTY? (the question mark is part of the title-who knew?) on their 4:00 MOVIE.
This wonderful Rankin/Bass "Animagic" feature was released theatrically in 1969-but really found its legs when it was syndicated to local stations in the 1970s. It's cast boasts a who's who of movie monsters - Count Dracula! The Wolf Man! The Mummy! The Invisible Man! Frankenstein's Monster! Dr. Jekyll! Mr. Hyde! The Creature (from the Black Lagoon)! The Hunchback of Notre Dame! It! (aka King Kong) and Phyllis Diller! The only one missing was John McCain.
Boris Karloff voices Baron Von Frankenstein - who assembles these characters (The Worldwide Organization of Monsters) to announce his retirement - and introduce his nerdy nephew Felix and shapely new creation Francesca to the group. Even as a gay kid, I knew Francesca was HOT! I wonder if Francesca was the visual inspiration for MAD MEN's Joan Holloway? Hmmm...
With character designs by the great Mad Magazine cartoonist Jack Davis, and some of the best stop-motion imagery ever, MAD MONSTER PARTY? is an absolute must-see for animation lovers. While the story may now be a bit slow-moving, and not as clever as I remember it from my childhood - I'd rather sit through this than the more recent "monster mash" called VAN HELSING any day of the year.
MAD MONSTER PARTY also features some great musical numbers...and come on, you gotta love Phyllis Diller - here a pic of me and my husband John with Ms. Diller at her lovely Brentwood home in 2008. She's was 90+ and still a hoot!
A
Later, Grandpa Seth appears to Holly in a mirror and she briefly freaks out. After she and Joshua swap rooms, Gramps reappears and tells Seth tells him he must convince his parents to return home!!! The next day, Joshua and pop go into town to get food that isn't covered in
Before you know it, the friendly townsfolk have Joshua in the Church basement where the local preacher man attempts to force feed him "ice cream". Apparently dairy is still part of the Nilbog diet. Dad shows up just in time!
The family runs back inside the house. Now they believe that Joshua was telling the truth and that they need to contact Granpa Seth somehow.
Creedence Leonore Gielgud appears (having grown her hand back!) and corners Joshua. He reaches into the the bag and pulls out a double decker baloney sandwich, which he promptly eats. 
