A classic post. This may be the 4th time I'm running it. What has been heralded as one of the worst hours of television ever - THE PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL has got to be seen to be believed. This ABC special originally aired once in 1976, but after years of showing up a bootleg copies, it's finally available on DVD.The show has a loose "storyline", as legendary flamboyant HOLLYWOOD SQUARES celebrity Paul first thinks it's a Christmas special, then an Easter special, and then a Valentines Day special - until his elderly housekeeper (guest star Margaret Hamilton) sets him straight, so to speak. After a barrage of cornball jokes (some written by Bruce Vilanch), Paul breaks out in song: a decidedly Halloween take on "Kids" from "Bye, Bye Birdie". (Which Mr. Lynde introduced in the original Broadway show). Basically the song is a complaint about the younger generation, calling out everything that is wrong with them. My favorite line is "Too much Alice Cooper and not enough Alice Faye!" Like anyone in 1976 knew who Alice Faye was! During this number he gets attacked by trick or treaters dressed as devils - but two of the gang members are revealed to be his ABC pals Donny & Marie in a cheap cameo.After the song, Margaret convinces her bitchy and bitter boss Paul to take a drive with her to visit her sister, who lives at the mysterious Gloomsbury Manor. Sis turns out to be none other than the fabulous Witchie-Poo (Billie Hayes) from H.R. PUFNSTUF! Then, amazingly Margaret transforms herself into her WIZARD OF OZ character - the Wicked Witch of the West! Talk about crossovers! It turns out the witches want to enlist Paul to help them erase their negative media image. 1970s little person superstar Billy Barty shows up as the butler–just in time for some insulting midget jokes, followed by an appearance by a delightfully youthful Betty White as Miss Halloween 1976 - who has won a date with Paul, but she was expecting PAUL NEWMAN! The witches then offer Paul 3 wishes...Wish #1 - Paul wishes to be a "rhinestone trucker", apparently so he can communicate with Tim Conway via CB radio-which was all the rage in '76. Tim arrives at a dinner where PinkyTuscadero (Roz Kelly from HAPPY DAYS) is the waitress. Tim is about to marry Pinky, but Paul crashes through the wall with his big rig in time to stop the wedding and ask Pinky to marry him instead! Pinky challenges the guys to a contest to see who's more macho. Billy Barty plays the "short order cook"-and he's the most macho!!!Whaa-whaa. What does all this have to do with Halloween? Then there's an awful musical number with Paul, Pinky and Tim and some square-dancing disco dancers. After which the witches invite some of their musician friends to perform "chamber music" for Paul - and the quartet turns out to be none other than KISS - who perform "Detroit Rock City," while the camera rotates 360 degrees and viewers get queasy. Then the witches play Monopoly with Paul. Huh?Wish #2 -Paul wishes he was in the Sarah dessert - he's now a dashingly romantic sheik and Florence Henderson is his potentially lusty lover. Mrs. Brady was already used to faking romance with gay leading men-so she plays along just fine. He tells her he first fell for her after he saw her "milking a cobra"! Then he talks about the "ruby portals of her lips" and he gives his rival Tim Conway a cock-a-too "cause a man gets lonely in the foreign legion." Bruce Vilanch was probably giggling backstage and loving that he got away with all this filthy innuendo. How can they top this? Wish #3 - Paul goes to a haunted discotheque - "the only play where a person can hustle without getting arrested". Then just when you think it can't get any worse, Florence appears sporting a Dorothy Hamill hairdo and a glittering black gown and sings a disco version of "That Old Black Magic".Then KISS comes back to sing the monster hit "Beth" and another song called "King of the Nighttime World." (I think it's supposed be about Larry King, but I'm not sure) It all comes to an end when Pinky returns to sing "Disco Lady" with Paul and the rest if the cast in an epic production number, while the guys from KISS look on in disbelief. Roll credits. This has to be the strangest, gayest, bitchiest, most surreal mess ever to air on primetime TV - but of course, I love it. Now if only someone would put out a DVD set of the one-season wonder THE PAUL LYNDE SHOW - then I'd really be happy. Imagine Paul as an upscale, wisecracking Archie Bunker-type dad who gets dumped in the swimming pool each and every week - doesn't that sound truly heavenly?
Celebrate VALENTINE'S DAY with Karen and a post from 2009.
When I was a kid, Friday nights were one of my favorite nights of television. THE BRADY BUNCH, THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY, THE ODD COUPLE and LOVE, AMERICAN STYLE were all among my favorite shows. But somewhere in the middle of the night lurked the black hole known as ROOM 222.
The thing about ROOM 222 was that it was supposed to be a comedy (the first episode even had a laughtrack) - but it wasn't funny. In fact, it was depressing. Who wanted to watch a show about an inner-city high school on a Friday night???
I recently tried watching an episode to see if the show was any funnier or less depressing. Guess what? No, it wasn't.
The main focus of the show was the American history class held in Room 222 of Walt Whitman High School in Los Angeles, CA. The class was taught by Pete Dixon (Lloyd Haynes), a preachy and idealistic teacher. Pete's patient girlfriend Liz McIntyre (Denise Nicholas) was the guidance counselor. Principal Kaufman (Michael Constantine) and sweet student-teacher Alice Johnson (Karen Valentine) rounded out the cast.
Lovely Valentine later starred as Gidget in the TV film GIDGET GROWS UP, and in her own short-lived series KAREN (1975).
Karen also guest-starred on many series, including LOVE, AMERICAN STYLE and LOVE BOAT.
ROOM 222 aired on ABC from September 17, 1969 to January 11, 1974, for 112 episodes and won a bunch of Emmy Awards. The show featured appearances by many actors who went on to become stars, including Bernie Kopell, Cindy Williams, Teri Garr, Jamie Farr, Rob Reiner, Anthony Geary, Richard Dreyfuss, Kurt Russell, Mark Hamill and the late Bruno Kirby.
The melancholy theme song was by film composer Jerry Goldsmith. Here it is to depress us all...
Another ABC MOVIE OF THE WEEK gem from the Warner Archive Collection, BAD RONALD (1974, directed by Buzz Kulik, a veteran TV director, who would later helm over many epic miniseries including FROM HERE TO ETERNITY, RAGE OF ANGELS, GEORGE WASHINGTON and JACKIE COLLINS' LUCKY/CHANCES) is based on a novel by John Holbrook Vance.
BAD RONALD tells the tale of geeky Ronald Wilby (Scott Jacoby, later Dorothy's son Michael on GOLDEN GIRLS), who lives with his overbearing and obviously ill mom (PLANET OF THE APES star Kim Hunter) and has an over-active imagination.
Mom gives Ronald a new toolbox for his birthday, but things start to go bad for Ronald when he dresses to impress a popular girl at school, who snubs him when he shows up at her pool party.
On the way home, Ronald encounters the first of many Jan Brady lookalikes.
This bratty blond on a bicycle teases Ronald so much that he schmushes her face.
During the schmushing, the girl accidentally falls backwards and cracks open her head on a cinderblock.
Ouch!
What does our boy Ronald do? He buries her and goes home, where his mom is waiting. When he tells mother what he did, she comes up with a plan!
Mom decides to hide Ronald in the downstairs bathroom - and soon Ronald uses his new tools to put up a wall where the door should be - HGTV style!
A small doorway in the kitchen pantry is Ronald's way into and out of his luxurious new studio apartment!
When the cops show up looking to question Ronald, Mrs. Wilby tells them he's run away.
It's not all bad for Ronald. He gets to skip school and eat chocolate all day.
He also gets to work out and write his epic fantasy novel.
And he gets to paint life-size murals featuring characters from his dreamworld Atranta, an added bonus is that since there's a toilet in this middle of his room - he gets to crap whenever he wants!
Things take an unfortunate turn for the worse when his mom has to go into the hospital for a simple gall bladder operation. Unfortunately, Mom never makes it back home.
That's when Mrs. Kravitz-like nosy neighbor Mrs. Schumacher becomes the bane of his existence.
Ronald uses his drill to forge holes throughout the house, and soon a new family, the Woods, with three Brady-like daughters moves into the house with dad Dabney Coleman (9 TO 5).
Ronald watches the Woods and takes an interest in one of the Jans.
It's interesting how he is able to pan and zoom from his peephole.
While the Woods are out of the house, Ronald decides to drink their milk and see how they've redecorated.
Of course, Mrs. Schumacher catches a glimpse of him...and falls backwards to her death.
Luckily he knows how to bury people real good. So, now Ronald is responsible for two accidentally deaths. Bad Ronald! Bad!
It turns out that one of the Woods girls is dating the brother of the dead bicycle girl. So what happens when the Mr. and Mrs. Woods parents go away for the weekend?
I'm not gonna tell, but let's say it involves some light bondage involving the said boyfriend,
some of Ronald's life-size paintings and a screaming teen-age princess (who looks like Jan Brady).
All while I'm wishing that Ronald would have taken advantage in being trapped in a bathroom and cleaned up a bit.
Check out BAD RONALD, an enjoyable and twisted 9 outta 10 old-school thriller.
Also, if you want to read the original novel, it is back in print - in hard cover from a publisher called Andreas Irle. You can purchase the book here and buy the exclusive dvd here.
A while back I began hosting informal monthly gatherings at my house where a bunch of us guys sit around watching old TV. Not just any old TV, not your run-of-the-mill TV Land reruns, but rare, odd and intriguing TV shows. I invited a select few friends and told them to bring any old, cool TV shows or clips that they might wanna share. These nights have now been dubbed TV TIME MACHINE and are now just about my favorite thing in the world. Where else but in my own living room could I be entertained by gems from TV's past like these...
PINK LADY AND JEFF - The notoriously bad NBC variety series that aired on Friday nights in the spring of 1980. This six-episode concoction from the warped minds of Sid & Marty Krofft has given me more laughs over the years than just about anything. From it's deer-in-the-headlights hostesses Mie and Kei to their "round eyed" co-host Jeff Altman, this DONNY & MARIE-like hour was designed to entertain us as we laughed along with the trio as they grow accustomed to each other and their traditions. Unfortunately, the offensive pandering makes the duo (who were chart-toppers in their native Japan) seem like awkward victims of a cruel prank. My lord, they even made them wear tee-shirts with their names on them so audiences could tell them apart! Celebrity guests included Bert Parks (he must have been real big with the kids in 1980), Sherman Hemsley, Sid Caesar (another teenybopper favorite), Donny Osmond, Larry Hagman (Jeez - how did they ever get HIM?), sex monkey Greg (BJ & THE BEAR) Evigan, Hugh Hefner (WTF?), Lorne (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA) Greene, Boomer (NBC's answer to BENJI), Red Buttons, Florence ("I'll do anything as long as I get to sing" Henderson, Jerry ("Is this a telethon?") Lewis, Alice Cooper, Roy ("Pretty Woman") Orbison and Bobby ("Blue Velvet") Vinton! Ernest (Jim Varney) even shows up in a few episodes. Blondie "appears" in Episodes 1 and 4 via their videos for "Shayla" and "Eat to the Beat" as does Cheap Trickwith "Dream Police". The highlight of each episode is when the gals attempt to phonetically sing popular English-language songs like "Boogie Wonderland," "You Needed Me," "Le Freak," and "Crazy Little Thing Called Love". The forced comedy moments between the duo and painfully unfunny Altman are only topped by the gratuitous hot tub scene at the close of each hour. Pure trash TV nirvana. I recall asking a girl in high school if she watched this show and her response was, "Doug, are you gay?"
A couple of notches above PINK LADY on the quality ladder is THE LOLA FALANA show. The Vegas superstar headlined a series of ABC specials during the mid-1970s which highlighted her vocal prowess and sexy body. Along with guests like Bill Cosby, Billy Dee Williams and Redd Foxx - Lola's show was the hippest place in town. Odd comedy sketches featuring Pat Morita are unwatchable, but the musical numbers featuring absolutely amazing costumes and wildly inventive choreography place these four crowd-pleasing hours up on the mantle of must-see TV. At a recent screening, even the token straight guy was yelling out "fabulous1"
Mitzi Gaynor is the queen of the TV Variety Special. I've blogged previously about the PBS special which featured clips from all her network outings. Now, thanks to a friend, I have seen two of those specials in their entirety.
Mitzi: A Tribute to the American Housewife (1974) and Mitzi...and a Hundred Guys (1975) are two incredibly entertaining hours of television. Packed with great guest stars, over-the-top costumes and brilliant dance numbers that showcase the barrel of dynamite that Mitzi was (and still is!). For my birthday tribute to Mitzi from last fall, go here.
All joking aside, Cass Elliot was a tremendous talent. From her years as a member of The Mama & The Papas to her great performance in the PUFNSTUF film - Cass was on the brink of superstardom when she tragically died. Her groovy 1969 ABC special, THE MAMA CASS TELEVISION PROGRAM featured wonderful performances by Cass and guests like Joni Mitchell and the late Mary Travers (looking beautiful here). This here is a "flower power" variety hour.
Requisite guest stars include loud-mouth comic Buddy Hackett and the then-married Martin Landau and Barbara Bain (stars of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE and later SPACE: 1999). An odd, yet enjoyable hour.
Speaking of odd. LUCY CALLS THE PRESIDENT - more of a sitcom special than a variety special - is a strange hour indeed. Rather than revisit any of her previous Lucy characters, here Ms. Ball casts herself as Lucy Whittaker, a housewife who is expecting a visit from President Jimmy Carter. Along for the ride are familiar cohorts like Vivian Vance (sadly performing with a post-stroke slur), Gale Gordon (as a staunch Republican), Mary Jane Croft, Mary Wickes and newcomer Ed McMahon (as Lucy's husband).
There are a few genuine laughs along the way, mostly at Gale's expense, and Lucy's standby physical schtick always manages to resurface. Two other 1970s specials: LUCY GETS LUCKY (with Dean Martin) and THREE FOR TWO (with Jackie Gleason) are also curiosities best viewed with the fast forward button pressed. Lastly, in the variety category, we were treated to a 1969 episode of THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW.
This episode featured veteran World War II performers Martha Raye and Betty Grable as guests and is notable because it was the first appearance of AS THE STOMACH TURNS, the long-running soap spoof.
Oddly, the sketch was about the LAST episode of the soap, and how the show tied up it's loose ends. In the real world CBS's AS THE WORLD TURNS ended in 2010 - 40 years after Carol's "prediction". Well, that's my TV Time Machine trip for today.
The show has a loose "storyline", as legendary flamboyant HOLLYWOOD SQUARES celebrity Paul first thinks it's a Christmas special, then an Easter special, and then a Valentines Day special - until his elderly housekeeper (guest star Margaret Hamilton) sets him straight, so to speak. After a barrage of cornball jokes (some written by Bruce Vilanch), Paul breaks out in song: a decidedly Halloween take on "Kids" from "Bye, Bye Birdie". (Which Mr. Lynde introduced in the original Broadway show). Basically the song is a complaint about the younger generation, calling out everything that is wrong with them. My favorite line is "Too much Alice Cooper and not enough Alice Faye!" Like anyone in 1976 knew who Alice Faye was! During this number he gets attacked by trick or treaters dressed as devils - but two of the gang members are revealed to be his ABC pals Donny & Marie in a cheap cameo.
After the song, Margaret convinces her bitchy and bitter boss Paul to take a drive with her to visit her sister, who lives at the mysterious Gloomsbury Manor. Sis turns out to be none other than the fabulous Witchie-Poo (Billie Hayes) from H.R. PUFNSTUF! Then, amazingly Margaret transforms herself into her WIZARD OF OZ character - the Wicked Witch of the West! Talk about crossovers! It turns out the witches want to enlist Paul to help them erase their negative media image. 1970s little person superstar Billy Barty shows up as the butler–just in time for some insulting midget jokes, followed by an appearance by a delightfully youthful Betty White as Miss Halloween 1976 - who has won a date with Paul, but she was expecting PAUL NEWMAN! The witches then offer Paul 3 wishes...
Wish #1 - Paul wishes to be a "rhinestone trucker", apparently so he can communicate with Tim Conway via CB radio-which was all the rage in '76. Tim arrives at a dinner where Pinky Tuscadero (Roz Kelly from HAPPY DAYS) is the waitress. Tim is about to marry Pinky, but Paul crashes through the wall with his big rig in time to stop the wedding and ask Pinky to marry him instead! Pinky challenges the guys to a contest to see who's more macho. Billy Barty plays the "short order cook"-and he's the most macho!!!Whaa-whaa. What does all this have to do with Halloween? Then there's an awful musical number with Paul, Pinky and Tim and some square-dancing disco dancers. After which the witches invite some of their musician friends to perform "chamber music" for Paul - and the quartet turns out to be none other than KISS - who perform "Detroit Rock City," while the camera rotates 360 degrees and viewers get queasy. Then the witches play Monopoly with Paul. Huh?
Wish #2 -Paul wishes he was in the Sarah dessert - he's now a dashingly romantic sheik and Florence Henderson is his potentially lusty lover. Mrs. Brady was already used to faking romance with gay leading men-so she plays along just fine. He tells her he first fell for her after he saw her "milking a cobra"! Then he talks about the "ruby portals of her lips" and he gives his rival Tim Conway a cock-a-too "cause a man gets lonely in the foreign legion." Bruce Vilanch was probably giggling backstage and loving that he got away with all this filthy innuendo. How can they top this? Wish #3 - Paul goes to a haunted discotheque - "the only play where a person can hustle without getting arrested". Then just when you think it can't get any worse, Florence appears sporting a Dorothy Hamill hairdo and a glittering black gown and sings a disco version of "That Old Black Magic".
Then KISS comes back to sing the monster hit "Beth" and another song called "King of the Nighttime World." (I think it's supposed be about Larry King, but I'm not sure) It all comes to an end when Pinky returns to sing "Disco Lady" with Paul and the rest if the cast in an epic production number, while the guys from KISS look on in disbelief. Roll credits.
This has to be the strangest, gayest, bitchiest, most surreal mess ever to air on primetime TV - but of course, I love it. Now if only someone would put out a DVD set of the one-season wonder THE PAUL LYNDE SHOW - then I'd really be happy. Imagine Paul as an upscale, wisecracking Archie Bunker-type dad who gets dumped in the swimming pool each and every week - doesn't that sound truly heavenly?
Pete's patient girlfriend Liz McIntyre (Denise Nicholas) was the guidance counselor. Principal Kaufman (Michael Constantine) and sweet student-teacher Alice Johnson (Karen Valentine) rounded out the cast.
ROOM 222 aired on ABC from September 17, 1969 to January 11, 1974, for 112 episodes and won a bunch of Emmy Awards. The show featured appearances by many actors who went on to become stars, including Bernie Kopell, Cindy Williams, Teri Garr, Jamie Farr, Rob Reiner, Anthony Geary, Richard Dreyfuss, Kurt Russell, Mark Hamill and the late Bruno Kirby.
The melancholy theme song was by film composer Jerry Goldsmith. Here it is to depress us all...
