How's that for a blogpost title? Cheery, right?
I have started and stopped this post too many times to count. Legit, ten times since last Tuesday.
Why, Tuesday you ask? Oh, I'll tell you. Tuesday was when the bottom dropped out.
When the JOB I interviewed for and was awarded in FEBRUARY was pulled. The job I've been waiting MONTHS FOR A BACKGROUND CHECK was ripped away. Without anything more than a "budget cuts and lack of work".
Yeah.
Yeah.
Security I've been counting on for months is gone. A new, fresh start is gone. Supplementation for my training is gone. Being able to hold my head high because I'm ACTUALLY contributing to our bills, our retirement and our future is gone.
G
O
N
E
Gone.
Once again, the carpet has been has been pulled from under my feet and I'm laying on the floor dazed, trying desperately to understand WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! How are we now here? We had it figured out. I did the work. I got the other job. I have security. Y'all we were so happy. SO SO SO happy and good. Life was on point. Jobs for both of us. Me still training and pursuing a dream. We are even trying for kids. So damn H A P P Y. And then...this.
I can't tell you how many times I've cried the past nine days. How many moments I've spent SOBBING trying to figure out the why. I've cried to Le Husband more this week than I have in our marriage. And, dude has taken it like a champ. Normally not his forte but he has stepped up big time. He's dealt with me crying "why?" Dealt with the "what do I do now?" questions. He's quietly shouldered all the bills again. Marriage works that way, and I'm so grateful for him.
Training has been hard, I haven't been shy about that here. This job was supposed to help and now the lack of it just highlights EVERYTHING I COULDN'T ACCOMPLISH the past eight months. I've trained eight people. EIGHT. In eight months. Not good for the paycheck and not good for the ego. I've tried, but apparently tried all the wrong ways. I'm so so disappointed in myself and beyond embarrassed right now because I've honestly just flamed out big time. Something I've cried about quite a few times. Back in the day I was all 'it's okay if you fail. the important thing is to try' and now I have to eat my words. Failing is awful. It sucks. It hurts. It is the worst thing for your ego and I frankly don't really know what my calling/purpose is right now.
Oh, speaking of bruising the ego, have you tried looking for a job recently? Minus a bad health report or getting let go, I'm pretty sure looking for a job is one of the most miserable things on earth. So devastating when you don't have ENOUGH experience. Beyond frustrating when you have too much. Everyone wants the world and no one wants to take a chance on an unknown. It's who you know, not what you know. I've sent out so many resumes and been so discouraged in a week. If ANYONE IS GOOD AT RESUMES PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I feel beaten down. Again.
I am just so ready for a normal life. For a purpose. For a reason. For security. For money. I'm just ready to stop feeling like a failure. At the end of the day I want to find my worth again.
Showing posts with label Sadness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sadness. Show all posts
July 19, 2018
April 25, 2018
What's Up Wednesday {April}
Taking a bit of artistic license with this link up today. April basically consisted of three major things. Visiting my sisters where I met my niece, celebrating my birthday [in Vegas and at home] and not making the cut for an audition. Below are the highlights from each event, cheers to a pretty awesome April.
Arizona Trip:
Oh my heart, this trip. Everything I could have wanted, and more. It was all the sister time. All the baby time. All the warm weather. Lots of puppy love and ALL.THE.BABY! Seriously, my niece is so precious and I wanted to eat her up all the time. She was struggling with sleep while we were there, so Babyspice and I helped out mama Sportyspice in the mornings which means we enjoyed lots and lots of baby girl snuggles. We had pool time, food time, cleaning time, sunset photoshoot time, silly auntie time, singing time and just so much fun. I cried when Babyspice left and I cried when I left. Being so far away is so damn hard, so DAMN hard. I can't wait until next month when we will all be together again.
Oh yeah, I HAD A BLATE! My girl Courtney lives in AZ and we FINALLY met up. This blate has been five years in the making and it was the best. Chickfila with the kids and all the laughs. She is as pure as sunshine and just one of my faves, LOVE YOU GIRL!
Las Vegas Trip:
The drive from Phoenix was super easy, but kind of nerve wracking. There were multiple parts where my phone didn't get signal, which had me concerned since I didn't know where I was going, ha. Scenery was gorgeous, though. I was able to stop crying by the 2nd hour, because yes, I was a mess leaving. Le Husband was in Vegas for work and I joined him at the tail end of the trip and enjoyed two nights on his company since he was working. Thursday night we did dinner at Ceasar's Palace and then walked the strip because it's our favorite thing to do when in Vegas.
Friday we were both up early for a work out, then a quick trip down the strip to change hotels to the Linq. Love staying there, except their wifi is booty, bah. We ate breakfast/lunch at Hash House, which is our FAVORITE spot. We randomly started eating there back in 2010 when we stumbled up on it and it has become our go to for brunch. Word to the wise, they don't do reservations so get their early. The rest of the day was spent relaxing and then we made our way down to Fremont Street. Le Husband had a friend also in town and we met him downtown after our delicious dinner. I'd never been to Fremont Street and LOVED it. So much fun and such a change from the strip. Old foggies over here couldn't make it much longer than midnight, haha.
Saturday we enjoyed the gorgeous weather, ate delicious food and then headed off to the airport for our flight. Le Husband enjoys perks as a working guy and we were able to hang in one of the clubs while we waited which was so nice. Big fan of free food and drinks. The flight was pretty chill and we landed late on Saturday in Nashville where we stayed the night close to the airport. The trip was a whirlwind but so very fabulous for my birthday. Really made turning 35 so wonderful.
This is 35 (Birthday}:
April brought the beginning of my 35th trip around the sun. Am I where I expected? Nope. Would I trade it? Nope. College Pinky had me a SAHM with two kids and one on the way at this age. Right out of college Pinky had me traveling the world with the Peace Corps. Just married Pinky had me with a kid and still in Virginia. Funny, huh? I honestly admit I do wish life was a bit more settled and dreams were a bit more in grasp, but that's life right? I am beyond blessed because my family and friends truly made my day amazing. So much love for year 35!
Not Getting Presenter:
Talk about a tough pill to swallow. I shared all of my journey here and truly felt I had a shot. A real shot. A GOOD SHOT and to have it not happen hurts. I honestly don't think I can expand on my post *here* so if you want the whole story give it a click. Almost good enough, but just not this year. I'm determined to get better so next year can be my year. Thank you all for your support from the beginning and through the disappointment. Your faith makes me smile.
How was your April?!??!?
Arizona Trip:
Oh my heart, this trip. Everything I could have wanted, and more. It was all the sister time. All the baby time. All the warm weather. Lots of puppy love and ALL.THE.BABY! Seriously, my niece is so precious and I wanted to eat her up all the time. She was struggling with sleep while we were there, so Babyspice and I helped out mama Sportyspice in the mornings which means we enjoyed lots and lots of baby girl snuggles. We had pool time, food time, cleaning time, sunset photoshoot time, silly auntie time, singing time and just so much fun. I cried when Babyspice left and I cried when I left. Being so far away is so damn hard, so DAMN hard. I can't wait until next month when we will all be together again.
Oh yeah, I HAD A BLATE! My girl Courtney lives in AZ and we FINALLY met up. This blate has been five years in the making and it was the best. Chickfila with the kids and all the laughs. She is as pure as sunshine and just one of my faves, LOVE YOU GIRL!
Las Vegas Trip:
The drive from Phoenix was super easy, but kind of nerve wracking. There were multiple parts where my phone didn't get signal, which had me concerned since I didn't know where I was going, ha. Scenery was gorgeous, though. I was able to stop crying by the 2nd hour, because yes, I was a mess leaving. Le Husband was in Vegas for work and I joined him at the tail end of the trip and enjoyed two nights on his company since he was working. Thursday night we did dinner at Ceasar's Palace and then walked the strip because it's our favorite thing to do when in Vegas.
Friday we were both up early for a work out, then a quick trip down the strip to change hotels to the Linq. Love staying there, except their wifi is booty, bah. We ate breakfast/lunch at Hash House, which is our FAVORITE spot. We randomly started eating there back in 2010 when we stumbled up on it and it has become our go to for brunch. Word to the wise, they don't do reservations so get their early. The rest of the day was spent relaxing and then we made our way down to Fremont Street. Le Husband had a friend also in town and we met him downtown after our delicious dinner. I'd never been to Fremont Street and LOVED it. So much fun and such a change from the strip. Old foggies over here couldn't make it much longer than midnight, haha.
Saturday we enjoyed the gorgeous weather, ate delicious food and then headed off to the airport for our flight. Le Husband enjoys perks as a working guy and we were able to hang in one of the clubs while we waited which was so nice. Big fan of free food and drinks. The flight was pretty chill and we landed late on Saturday in Nashville where we stayed the night close to the airport. The trip was a whirlwind but so very fabulous for my birthday. Really made turning 35 so wonderful.
This is 35 (Birthday}:
April brought the beginning of my 35th trip around the sun. Am I where I expected? Nope. Would I trade it? Nope. College Pinky had me a SAHM with two kids and one on the way at this age. Right out of college Pinky had me traveling the world with the Peace Corps. Just married Pinky had me with a kid and still in Virginia. Funny, huh? I honestly admit I do wish life was a bit more settled and dreams were a bit more in grasp, but that's life right? I am beyond blessed because my family and friends truly made my day amazing. So much love for year 35!
Not Getting Presenter:
Talk about a tough pill to swallow. I shared all of my journey here and truly felt I had a shot. A real shot. A GOOD SHOT and to have it not happen hurts. I honestly don't think I can expand on my post *here* so if you want the whole story give it a click. Almost good enough, but just not this year. I'm determined to get better so next year can be my year. Thank you all for your support from the beginning and through the disappointment. Your faith makes me smile.
How was your April?!??!?
November 30, 2017
Life Is Too Short
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He was a great teammate, one of the hardest working on the field. Always had an encouraging word after a muffed play, always gave 100% and took the time to say hi to anyone he knew. Whether there were issues on the field or not, he always had a friendly "hey" for someone.
Since our move I hadn't really spoken with him. But this still hurts. He was so great. So kind. So YOUNG. It breaks my heart he won't get to live a full life. Won't find the love of his life. Won't get to be an uncle to his best friend's kid. Won't get to see his brother get older. Won't get married. Won't have kids of his own. Man, what a knife to the heart.
Death has a way of shaking out the cobwebs. Of helping us realize how temporary this time is for everyone. It helps us set priorities. So do that today. Let go of anything weighing you down. Love fiercely. Be kind. Help those you can. Text or call just to say hello. Reach out to that person you lost touch with if you want to reconnect. Be grateful for what you have. Don't worry about what you don't. Take a chance. Take a risk. Make the play. We only get once CHANCE. LOVE!
December 11, 2016
Dear Jason... I'm Sorry
Dear Jason,
How do I start this letter? Honestly, I can't believe I'm writing it now. Four days later and everything still doesn't seem real. When Sportyspice texted me the news I was in shock. I responded back What the F*$&, (which probably made you laugh since I rarely cussed around you).
She had to be lying, I couldn't be reading the words she texted, they just COULDN'T be real. But they were, all too real. Driving down I-40 sobbing I somehow made it to work. Jason, what happened? Why? Why did this happen? Why are you gone and not here anymore?
There is so much left unsaid and it breaks my heart because it's my fault. Your base was only four hours away from here and I had no idea because we hadn't talked in so long due to our falling out. Did you know you were on my heart the past few weeks? Did you know I was thinking of reaching out to you, and then my job got in the way and every time I thought about it I got distracted and forgot until the next day? Did you know I worried about you even though that was no longer my place? That I checked up on Facebook when you had important posts? I'd like to think yes, yet a big part of my heart knows you probably thought we were still where we ended when you didn't come to my wedding.
Man did that hurt. And it shows today because that's what drove this wedge. I still don't understand why you didn't come and why you didn't tell me before when I asked. You were my big brother and every time we talked about the wedding you were excited, asking if I wanted you in military dress or just a suit. Talking about how you'd make sure to have a chat with Le Husband at the reception. You were always my protector, ever since you were my college RA sophomore year. That's when you became my big brother and I your little sis. We made people do a double take when we talked like family. You knew that stupid college boyfriend didn't deserve me and offered to 'take care of it' whenever he acted a fool. I loved how you and my Dad got along and how you both connected. It made me happy because I knew you didn't have the best relationship with your father. Being there for your commissioning with my Dad is a memory I'll always cherish because we were BOTH so proud of you.
Our argument seems so stupid right now, funny huh? Sad it takes you being GONE FROM THIS WORLD for me to understand how STUPID holding a grudge can be and how short a time we have here on earth. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you.
I know I was your person for a time and I should have been there for you, always. I'm not going to put your business out there, but I knew the things you dealt with and we had many a long nights talk about the importance you had in this world and how important you were to people. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you the past few years. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you realized you needed a career change. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you during the hard times and the happy times. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help whenever you needed it.
And, Jason, I'm so sorry you left here without me telling you how much you meant to me and how much I loved you. My eyes fill, my heart breaks and my soul hurts every time I think of you now. I messed up and I'll pay for it the rest of my life. I will do whatever I can to make sure your daughter knows HOW MUCH YOU LOVED HER. She will also know how incredible you were and your impact on this world.
I don't want to sign off, that makes this so final. But it is final, which hurts, sucks and kills me. Our country owes a debt to you and I owe you more than you know. I take comfort that you are with Shane now and can only imagine the good natured trouble you both are causing in heaven. Watch out for us, here. Your guidance, smarts, good manners, kind words and loving demeanor will be missed greatly, so sprinkle a lil bit here and there when you can.
I love you, Jason. Godspeed.
June 13, 2016
With a Heavy Heart #prayfororlando
Today should be a normal weekend recap post. Today should be the day I tell you about applying for three jobs, enjoying a weekend with my extended family and kicking ass at the gym. But today is so much more.
Today we mourn. Today we cry. Today we ask why. Today we count our blessings. Today we grieve with families who's loved ones are gone forever. Today we give thanks for everyone safe [I'm looking at you Orlando blog family]!
My heart breaks for all those involved and honestly, my heart breaks for our country. Right now the debate is hate crime or terrorism and honestly I don't know what scares me the most. Both are tragic. Both are awful. Both are too scary to comprehend.
During tragedies people turn to what they hold most dear and to me that is faith. Faith in our God, who is bigger and greater than anything in this world. Faith in good triumphing over evil. Faith in our country and our government. Faith that people will finally say ENOUGH and take a stand to take down ISIS. Faith in happiness, joy, love and hope. I will keep praying, I will keep loving, I will keep living and I will keep fighting against fear.
My thoughts, prayers, hugs, tears and love goes out to Orlando. < 3
Today we mourn. Today we cry. Today we ask why. Today we count our blessings. Today we grieve with families who's loved ones are gone forever. Today we give thanks for everyone safe [I'm looking at you Orlando blog family]!
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During tragedies people turn to what they hold most dear and to me that is faith. Faith in our God, who is bigger and greater than anything in this world. Faith in good triumphing over evil. Faith in our country and our government. Faith that people will finally say ENOUGH and take a stand to take down ISIS. Faith in happiness, joy, love and hope. I will keep praying, I will keep loving, I will keep living and I will keep fighting against fear.
My thoughts, prayers, hugs, tears and love goes out to Orlando. < 3
April 19, 2016
If The Worst Were to Happen {Getting Real Here Today}
If you're looking for a happy post, click the lil red x right now. Today I'm getting heavy and that might not be the head space you're in right now. No worries, no hard feelings, I'll catch ya later.
Today I'm talking about death and dying. Not the normal Pinky topic right? And I'm talking about if the worst were to happen to me. YIKES! Again, probably not what you would expect while I'm gone on vacation, however this is a topic that has been weighing heavily on my mind since we decided to take our long vacation.
Death scares the crap out of me. Even though I am a Christian and believe in Heaven and seeing my God when I leave this world the concept flat out freaks me out. I can't think about it too much at one time because it is just too much for my brain [which is why this post was written in installments]. I've always had a hard time when people die because it hurts me so much that they are gone from here. I can't touch them, talk to them, see them or smell them. They are all in my heart and memories but no longer tangible. So we comfort ourselves saying 'They are no longer in pain. They are in a better place. They would want us to be happy', which is probably true. However, we will never KNOW unless they left us something to go off of when they leave.
I vividly remember reading a story in the newspaper when I was 12 about a young girl my age killed in a freak car accident. The sadness over a life cut short wasn't what stayed with me, but the fact this girl had written a letter a few months before to her family in the event something tragic happened to her. I was floored she had the wherewithal to put a pen to paper for her family and I knew I wanted to do the same thing. So I scrounged around for some stationary and spent over an hour writing this letter to my family 'just in case'. And then I hide it somewhere I can't remember because I didn't want anyone to find it while I was still alive. I didn't want people to think I was morbid or weird. Which some of you might be thinking right now, which is 100% okay, I'm totally weird.
With the bombings in Paris, Turkey and Brussels my concern for our well being has grown and let's not even talk about my fear of flying combined with my fear of non US carriers. Our trip has us on seven flights which is seven time of almost debilitating fear in the air. This is something I am working on, it's just taking a lot of time to get to a point where take off doesn't cause my face to go white. But, I digress. I am excited to experience a new country and learn new things however I also know the world we live in is no longer as safe as we think. Sometimes people are just in the wrong city at the wrong time as terrorism continues to spread. While it's scary to talk about and imagine, doesn't me we should take steps to prepare for the worst.
I spoke with the BOFF and Babyspice about POA and living wills, however we weren't able to find someone who could see us on such short notice [ooops]. I downloaded a springing POA though and gave it signed to Babyspice. You might shudder with my lack of buttoned up business, however our families [Le Husband's and mine] are close enough that I am 100% confident everything would be split as it should.
But the assets and physical things are not what trouble me, rather the emotional burden we assume when those we love leave us. I do not want those left behind to question anything emotional. I know I am loved and I know they know I love them. To ensure there are no questions, I've written my family a note which I will give to my father with instructions not to open. When we get back safe and sound I'll take it back and burn it because it will no longer be relevant.
If the worst were to happen...
... I would want my family to know how much I loved them and how much fun our family is together.
... My hope would be that they would not grieve too long, but remember with joy the time we had together [easier said than done, I know. Pretty sure I would lose my job for not showing up if the roles were reversed].
... I'd want a big party after my funeral. With dancing music, champagne flowing and jokes about me being stupid. There is a time to grieve and be sad, but my personality is sooooo much about fun that I would hate people sitting around being sad for an extended period of time.
... I would want my name to be spoken without weight and sadness. I would want it to be spoken like effervescent bubbles in a bottle of champagne. There
... my wish for all friends and family is to know each and every single person made an impact on my life and I am grateful to everyone for all the lessons, good and bad, learned along the way. .
... I would want everyone to know that I will keep loving them and being with them like the waves in the ocean.
Do you have a will? Do you have a note written somewhere if the worst were to happen? Have you ever thought about what you would say? Am I the crazy bird up here in blog land?
Today I'm talking about death and dying. Not the normal Pinky topic right? And I'm talking about if the worst were to happen to me. YIKES! Again, probably not what you would expect while I'm gone on vacation, however this is a topic that has been weighing heavily on my mind since we decided to take our long vacation.
Death scares the crap out of me. Even though I am a Christian and believe in Heaven and seeing my God when I leave this world the concept flat out freaks me out. I can't think about it too much at one time because it is just too much for my brain [which is why this post was written in installments]. I've always had a hard time when people die because it hurts me so much that they are gone from here. I can't touch them, talk to them, see them or smell them. They are all in my heart and memories but no longer tangible. So we comfort ourselves saying 'They are no longer in pain. They are in a better place. They would want us to be happy', which is probably true. However, we will never KNOW unless they left us something to go off of when they leave.
I vividly remember reading a story in the newspaper when I was 12 about a young girl my age killed in a freak car accident. The sadness over a life cut short wasn't what stayed with me, but the fact this girl had written a letter a few months before to her family in the event something tragic happened to her. I was floored she had the wherewithal to put a pen to paper for her family and I knew I wanted to do the same thing. So I scrounged around for some stationary and spent over an hour writing this letter to my family 'just in case'. And then I hide it somewhere I can't remember because I didn't want anyone to find it while I was still alive. I didn't want people to think I was morbid or weird. Which some of you might be thinking right now, which is 100% okay, I'm totally weird.
With the bombings in Paris, Turkey and Brussels my concern for our well being has grown and let's not even talk about my fear of flying combined with my fear of non US carriers. Our trip has us on seven flights which is seven time of almost debilitating fear in the air. This is something I am working on, it's just taking a lot of time to get to a point where take off doesn't cause my face to go white. But, I digress. I am excited to experience a new country and learn new things however I also know the world we live in is no longer as safe as we think. Sometimes people are just in the wrong city at the wrong time as terrorism continues to spread. While it's scary to talk about and imagine, doesn't me we should take steps to prepare for the worst.
I spoke with the BOFF and Babyspice about POA and living wills, however we weren't able to find someone who could see us on such short notice [ooops]. I downloaded a springing POA though and gave it signed to Babyspice. You might shudder with my lack of buttoned up business, however our families [Le Husband's and mine] are close enough that I am 100% confident everything would be split as it should.
But the assets and physical things are not what trouble me, rather the emotional burden we assume when those we love leave us. I do not want those left behind to question anything emotional. I know I am loved and I know they know I love them. To ensure there are no questions, I've written my family a note which I will give to my father with instructions not to open. When we get back safe and sound I'll take it back and burn it because it will no longer be relevant.
If the worst were to happen...
... I would want my family to know how much I loved them and how much fun our family is together.
... My hope would be that they would not grieve too long, but remember with joy the time we had together [easier said than done, I know. Pretty sure I would lose my job for not showing up if the roles were reversed].
... I'd want a big party after my funeral. With dancing music, champagne flowing and jokes about me being stupid. There is a time to grieve and be sad, but my personality is sooooo much about fun that I would hate people sitting around being sad for an extended period of time.
... I would want my name to be spoken without weight and sadness. I would want it to be spoken like effervescent bubbles in a bottle of champagne. There
... my wish for all friends and family is to know each and every single person made an impact on my life and I am grateful to everyone for all the lessons, good and bad, learned along the way. .
... I would want everyone to know that I will keep loving them and being with them like the waves in the ocean.
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Do you have a will? Do you have a note written somewhere if the worst were to happen? Have you ever thought about what you would say? Am I the crazy bird up here in blog land?
April 8, 2016
My Favorite Month But the Worst Day of the Year
Morning and happy Friday ladies. I hope your week wasn't too painful and you have some fun weekend plans. You know mine will be filled with boxes, packing tape, computers for research and hopefully a few fun times with friends and family.
Normally Fridays are fun posts recounting good times of the week. However, this Friday is one of those where a post like that would be a fat out lie of my mental state. April 8th has become a tough day for me and I just couldn't phone in a regular post. So, I'm sharing what I posted last year since my heart and head is heavy once again.
April is one of the best months of the year, in my opinion. Spring officially makes an appearance with warm weather, flowers start to bloom, trees start sprouting new life, Easter usually happens [depending on the year], sweaters are put away for sleeveless tops, outdoor workouts resume and oh yeah, it's my BIRTHDAY MONTH! I'm a self proclaimed birthdayaholic [not just for myself, I love celebrating my friend's birthdays too] so April is birthday month, full of sparkles, glitter, drinks and special eats. I LOVE SPRING! I LOVE BIRTHDAYS! I LOVE APRIL!
But, six years ago April lost some of it's luster. Unfairly pneumonia started an unexpected chain of events that stole a beautiful soul from this earth. My mother's mom, Mo, fell sick and within less than a week she was gone. The unexpectedness, the DNR [whole other post], the choice I made to wait until the weekend to head down to Tennessee [will regret missing that time for the rest of my life], have all made dealing with her death extremely hard. We had seen her that summer and had planned to see her the next summer just like we did every year. Our yearly Tennessee trip to the lake was a week of fun in the sun and family time with our grandparents and aunt, uncle and cousin. Sometimes there was a bit of family discord, but all in all it was a wonderful week of good food, family and sunshine.
Mo suffered a stroke when I was younger and she started suffering from Alzheimer's when I was in college. There had been falls in the past and we knew an assisted living home might become a possibility because our grandfather T-Bone wouldn't be able to care for her as she needed. We knew she was getting older and that more patience would be needed during visits. However, the patience was never needed because too soon she left us to be home with the Lord.
I miss her. EVERYDAY.I.MISS.HER! But, April hits me hard. It's no longer just a happy sparkly month. It's a month that brings sadness, anger and tears. April brings back the pain of that weekend, the sadness of a funeral and the memories of so many people coming to honor my grandmother. She was an amazing lady. One who always had a smile, had a heart of gold and just loved to be around family. I can close my eyes and see her waving goodbye to us as we drove away from their home. I can still hear her voice say "Hey there, doll".
I still grieve that she wasn't able to be here for my wedding. I've written about it before, but her being gone kept it from being the perfect day. She would have loved the excitement. She would have loved the party and the cupcakes. I'm sure she would have had her South Carolina opinion about something [peeled tomatoes, straight hair parted down the center], but she would have danced on the dance floor and told me I was her beautiful doll. She would have walked own the aisle so proudly and hugged me and Le Husband a million times. She never got to meet the man of my dreams or witness me become a wife. She will never see her great-grand children and she will never be able to pass down advice on being a mother. Those moments have been stripped away forever and I can't help but cry as I type.
I honored her at my wedding with a picture on our wedding cake table. She loved cake and ice cream and I knew I wanted her picture where all could witness her beautiful face. I find myself looking back to these photos every time I scroll through wedding pictures. It's the little piece of her I keep in my heart from that day.
Wasn't she gorgeous? I get my small stature from her and my petite lil frame. I wish I had taken the time to cook with her more. I wanted to learn her butter bean, potato salad and ham recipe. Mama B will teach me, I know, but I wish I had spent time in the kitchen with Mo. She loved to cook. That's how she showed love, by cooking dinner for us every night when we visited. She wasn't as athletic as she once was, due to a midlife surgery, so she couldn't participate in some of the fun on the lake. But she brought us dinner every night and it was delicious.
Wishing you a wonderfull weekend, friends < 3
Normally Fridays are fun posts recounting good times of the week. However, this Friday is one of those where a post like that would be a fat out lie of my mental state. April 8th has become a tough day for me and I just couldn't phone in a regular post. So, I'm sharing what I posted last year since my heart and head is heavy once again.
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But, six years ago April lost some of it's luster. Unfairly pneumonia started an unexpected chain of events that stole a beautiful soul from this earth. My mother's mom, Mo, fell sick and within less than a week she was gone. The unexpectedness, the DNR [whole other post], the choice I made to wait until the weekend to head down to Tennessee [will regret missing that time for the rest of my life], have all made dealing with her death extremely hard. We had seen her that summer and had planned to see her the next summer just like we did every year. Our yearly Tennessee trip to the lake was a week of fun in the sun and family time with our grandparents and aunt, uncle and cousin. Sometimes there was a bit of family discord, but all in all it was a wonderful week of good food, family and sunshine.
Mo suffered a stroke when I was younger and she started suffering from Alzheimer's when I was in college. There had been falls in the past and we knew an assisted living home might become a possibility because our grandfather T-Bone wouldn't be able to care for her as she needed. We knew she was getting older and that more patience would be needed during visits. However, the patience was never needed because too soon she left us to be home with the Lord.
I miss her. EVERYDAY.I.MISS.HER! But, April hits me hard. It's no longer just a happy sparkly month. It's a month that brings sadness, anger and tears. April brings back the pain of that weekend, the sadness of a funeral and the memories of so many people coming to honor my grandmother. She was an amazing lady. One who always had a smile, had a heart of gold and just loved to be around family. I can close my eyes and see her waving goodbye to us as we drove away from their home. I can still hear her voice say "Hey there, doll".
I still grieve that she wasn't able to be here for my wedding. I've written about it before, but her being gone kept it from being the perfect day. She would have loved the excitement. She would have loved the party and the cupcakes. I'm sure she would have had her South Carolina opinion about something [peeled tomatoes, straight hair parted down the center], but she would have danced on the dance floor and told me I was her beautiful doll. She would have walked own the aisle so proudly and hugged me and Le Husband a million times. She never got to meet the man of my dreams or witness me become a wife. She will never see her great-grand children and she will never be able to pass down advice on being a mother. Those moments have been stripped away forever and I can't help but cry as I type.
I honored her at my wedding with a picture on our wedding cake table. She loved cake and ice cream and I knew I wanted her picture where all could witness her beautiful face. I find myself looking back to these photos every time I scroll through wedding pictures. It's the little piece of her I keep in my heart from that day.
Wasn't she gorgeous? I get my small stature from her and my petite lil frame. I wish I had taken the time to cook with her more. I wanted to learn her butter bean, potato salad and ham recipe. Mama B will teach me, I know, but I wish I had spent time in the kitchen with Mo. She loved to cook. That's how she showed love, by cooking dinner for us every night when we visited. She wasn't as athletic as she once was, due to a midlife surgery, so she couldn't participate in some of the fun on the lake. But she brought us dinner every night and it was delicious.
We lost my great aunt, Mo's sister in 2013 and it happened to be the same week we had to say good-bye to Mo. It was so hard and it ripped open a scab I thought was closed for good. The anger came back. The hurt came back. And my faith felt tested once again. To be honest it feels tested every April 8th. She's not here anymore and I regret all of the things I didn't say to her and the moments I brushed off because I would get frustrated. I lost so much and it was all my fault. But, there is nothing I can do about it now. All I can do is honor her memory and remember all the joy she brought to my life.
Dearest Mo, I hope you know that you are missed so greatly. I hope you are proud of the woman your doll baby has become. I hope you are proud of how much I love to be in the kitchen and how much I love to cook. I hope when you look down on us you smile at Le Husband. He's a great guy, even if he isn't southern ;)! I know you and Aunt Rah-Rah are keeping people well fed up in heaven and I'm happy that the two of you are together. We all wish you could still be with us, but we know it was time for you to go home. Please know how much we love you and how often you are still thought about. I'll always pick the vegetables from the back because of you. I love you to the moon and back! < 3 your doll!
***To those reading that have lost a parent, please know I grieve for you. Losing my grandmother hurts me so badly, but I can't imagine the suffering faced when losing a parent. Please know I'm praying for you and send you a big hug***
July 31, 2015
Hot Like A Popsicle on the Last Friday in July
Morning, friends! How is it the last Friday in July? Didn't summer just start? I am quite baffled the year has flown by so quickly. August is knocking at the door and I'm not sure I want to answer. This week has been an emotionally long one and normally I'd be stoked for the weekend, but tomorrow is THE DAY! My FITNESS GOAL DAY and y'all I have to confess, I am soooo not prepared. However it is what it is and I will face my challenge with a smile [or curse, ha!] and have something interesting to report back on Monday. Now, let's move on to favorites, shall we?
Favorite Blog Moment of the Week: People who don't blog don't understand the community, but this week proved how fantastic the blog world can be when it gets behind a cause. As many of you already read here, a beautiful blogger passed away this week, sending shockwaves of grief to all that read her blog. I still can't believe I'll never read another post written by her and my heart breaks for her family during this time of grieving. Yet, Leslie's bright light is still shining online if you follow the hashtag #remberingleslie . So many women are posting their caring thoughts about this beautiful soul and hopefully it will bring some peace to her family. As of Thursday the GoFundMe set up for her two girls was over $17,800 in only two days which is a testament to how many people Leslie touched in her life. There of course are the dark parts of the Internet, but it's times like these when I realize how proud I am to a part of this blogging community. I'm also exremply proud of our hashtags, because now her family can see how much Leslie meant to people they never knew.
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Favorite Store of the Week: You would think it would be Nordstrom because of the anniversary sale [and yes, I am still shopping, gah], but no, today I'm highlighting RiffRaff. Leslie posted many a collaboration with RiffRaff and in her memory they are donating 100% of their sales tomorrow to Caroline and Ainsley's fund. How incredible is their gesture?!? #shopriffraff #kindnessmatters #shopsmall #rememberingleslie
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| [source] #nevergiveuponthosedreams |
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| [source] #everysingleday #whyistimesostrange |
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| [source] #thatwasalmosttooclose #meatareunionhappythisweek |
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| [source] #turtlesoup #mynewchef |
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| [source] #eatalltheskinnypeople |
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| [source] #thestruggleisreal #unusualnameclub |
Favorite Links of the Week: Getting collage fancy this week, whoop whoop!
+ Want to stop cursing but still be able to insult people? Check out this hilarious article, I couldn't help but laugh at all of the insults. People are quite clever when they want to get rid of the potty mouth.
+ A waitress uses her hard earned money to thank a special group of men. Kindness makes me happy.
+ Some super foods aren't quite what you think they are and this article explains why.
+ 15 words I need to remove from my vocabulary. Definitely guilty of them all, are you? #literally
Have a fabulous weekend, bunnies! < 3 y'all dearly!
**linking up Here here , here, here, here and, here this week**
July 29, 2015
Heartbroken { #rememberingleslie }
A beautiful life was lost this week and my heart hurts. My dear friend Jess notified me yesterday that sweet Leslie of a Blonde Ambition had gone to be with Jesus and I couldn't help but cry at work. Leslie was a jewel of a person and such a beautiful woman, inside and out. I remember when I first found her blog and was drawn in by her with and charisma. Her eye for fashion was astounding and I tried a few fashion piece outside my comfort zone because of her. She was fun, sassy and her Confession Fridays linkup was one of my favorites in my early stages of blogging. I learned a lot about hair from her [ these two videos are my favorites], used her make up routine to tweak my own and found her thoughts on self confidence empowering.
She was one of the few bloggers I read who waited a year or so before having kids and it made me feel less of a random. It was fun following her through pregnancy and then through motherhood, she always kept it real which was the best thing about her blog. Her two princesses were always dressed to the nines and she was such a stylish pregnant mama. I was blessed to have her guest post during my wedding week and Leslie was incredibly kind enough to share her lovely wedding pictures. She and I exchanged emails a few times and she was always so kind in every correspondence.
I am stunned and shocked and down right mad. My heart breaks for her husband and two beautiful girls, life just seems so unfair right now. Leslie has shared vague news about her heart the past few months, but I don't think anyone really knew the gravity of her situation. She spoke often of her faith and I take heart in knowing she is at peace with our Heavenly Father. I know her daughters have the best dressed guardian angel and pray for her whole family as they grieve.
Kelly of Kelly's Korner shared the tragic news on her Instagram, which I have below.
Sweet Leslie, your smile, wit and charm will be so missed. Thank you for sharing your talents with the blogging community. Our hair poofs are higher, our make up is more polished and our outfits are more on point thanks to you. Your beautiful family is in my prayers. #beblessedlovelies #rememberingleslie < 3
linkinguphere
She was one of the few bloggers I read who waited a year or so before having kids and it made me feel less of a random. It was fun following her through pregnancy and then through motherhood, she always kept it real which was the best thing about her blog. Her two princesses were always dressed to the nines and she was such a stylish pregnant mama. I was blessed to have her guest post during my wedding week and Leslie was incredibly kind enough to share her lovely wedding pictures. She and I exchanged emails a few times and she was always so kind in every correspondence.
I am stunned and shocked and down right mad. My heart breaks for her husband and two beautiful girls, life just seems so unfair right now. Leslie has shared vague news about her heart the past few months, but I don't think anyone really knew the gravity of her situation. She spoke often of her faith and I take heart in knowing she is at peace with our Heavenly Father. I know her daughters have the best dressed guardian angel and pray for her whole family as they grieve.
Kelly of Kelly's Korner shared the tragic news on her Instagram, which I have below.
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Leslie And Stephen were one of the first couples to meet on my singles day. They are a wonderful couple and parents to two precious baby girls.
Leslie went to be with Jesus yesterday. My heart is so heavy for her family. Her babies are both under two. I had the privilege of meeting her several times. She was extraordinarily beautiful inside and out.
Will you please pray for her family?@ablondeambition (her blog is blondeambitionblog.com)"
[source]
Sweet Leslie, your smile, wit and charm will be so missed. Thank you for sharing your talents with the blogging community. Our hair poofs are higher, our make up is more polished and our outfits are more on point thanks to you. Your beautiful family is in my prayers. #beblessedlovelies #rememberingleslie < 3
linkinguphere
April 8, 2015
Best Month but the Worst Day
April is one of the best months of the year, in my opinion. Spring officially makes an apperance with warm weather, flowers start to bloom, trees start sprouting new life, Easter usually happens [depending on the year], sweaters are put away for sleeveless tops, outdoor workouts resume and oh yeah, it's my BIRTHDAY MONTH! I'm a self proclaimed birthdayaholic [not just for myself, I love celebrating my friend's birthdays too] so April is birthday month, full of sparkles, glitter, drinks and special eats. I LOVE SPRING! I LOVE BIRTHDAYS! I LOVE APRIL!
But, six years ago April lost some of it's luster. Unfairly pneumonia started an unexpected chain of events that stole a beautiful soul from this earth. My mother's mom, Mo, fell sick and within less than a week she was gone. The unexpectedness, the DNR [whole other post], the choice I made to wait until the weekend to head down to Tennessee [will regret missing that time for the rest of my life], have all made dealing with her death extremely hard. We had seen her that summer and had planned to see her the next summer just like we did every year. Our yearly Tennessee trip to the lake was a week of fun in the sun and family time with our grandparents and aunt, uncle and cousin. Sometimes there was a bit of family discord, but all in all it was a wonderful week of good food, family and sunshine.
Mo suffered a stroke when I was younger and she started suffering from Alzheimer's when I was in college. There had been falls in the past and we knew an assisted living home might become a possibility because our grandfather T-Bone wouldn't be able to care for her as she needed. We knew she was getting older and that more patience would be needed during visits. However, the patience was never needed because too soon she left us to be home with the Lord.
I miss her. EVERYDAY.I.MISS.HER! But, April hits me hard. It's no longer just a happy sparkly month. It's a month that brings sadness, anger and tears. April brings back the pain of that weekend, the sadness of a funeral and the memories of so many people coming to honor my grandmother. She was an amazing lady. One who always had a smile, had a heart of gold and just loved to be around family. I can close my eyes and see her waving goodbye to us as we drove away from their home. I can still hear her voice say "Hey there, doll".
I still grieve that she wasn't able to be here for my wedding. I've written about it before, but her being gone kept it from being the perfect day. She would have loved the excitement. She would have loved the party and the cupcakes. I'm sure she would have had her South Carolina opinion about something [peeled tomatoes, straight hair parted down the center], but she would have danced on the dance floor and told me I was her beautiful doll. She would have walked own the aisle so proudly and hugged me and Le Husband a million times. She never got to meet the man of my dreams or witness me become a wife. She will never see her great-grand children and she will never be able to pass down advice on being a mother. Those moments have been stripped away forever and I can't help but cry as I type.
I honored her at my wedding with a picture on our wedding cake table. She loved cake and ice cream and I knew I wanted her picture where all could witness her beautiful face. I find myself looking back to these photos every time I scroll through wedding pictures. It's the little piece of her I keep in my heart from that day.
Wasn't she gorgeous? I get my small stature from her and my petite lil frame. I wish I had taken the time to cook with her more. I wanted to learn her butter bean, potato salad and ham recipe. Mama B will teach me, I know, but I wish I had spent time in the kitchen with Mo. She loved to cook. That's how she showed love, by cooking dinner for us every night when we visited. She wasn't as athletic as she once was, due to a midlife surgery, so she couldn't participate in some of the fun on the lake. But she brought us dinner every night and it was delicious.
But, six years ago April lost some of it's luster. Unfairly pneumonia started an unexpected chain of events that stole a beautiful soul from this earth. My mother's mom, Mo, fell sick and within less than a week she was gone. The unexpectedness, the DNR [whole other post], the choice I made to wait until the weekend to head down to Tennessee [will regret missing that time for the rest of my life], have all made dealing with her death extremely hard. We had seen her that summer and had planned to see her the next summer just like we did every year. Our yearly Tennessee trip to the lake was a week of fun in the sun and family time with our grandparents and aunt, uncle and cousin. Sometimes there was a bit of family discord, but all in all it was a wonderful week of good food, family and sunshine.
Mo suffered a stroke when I was younger and she started suffering from Alzheimer's when I was in college. There had been falls in the past and we knew an assisted living home might become a possibility because our grandfather T-Bone wouldn't be able to care for her as she needed. We knew she was getting older and that more patience would be needed during visits. However, the patience was never needed because too soon she left us to be home with the Lord.
I miss her. EVERYDAY.I.MISS.HER! But, April hits me hard. It's no longer just a happy sparkly month. It's a month that brings sadness, anger and tears. April brings back the pain of that weekend, the sadness of a funeral and the memories of so many people coming to honor my grandmother. She was an amazing lady. One who always had a smile, had a heart of gold and just loved to be around family. I can close my eyes and see her waving goodbye to us as we drove away from their home. I can still hear her voice say "Hey there, doll".
I still grieve that she wasn't able to be here for my wedding. I've written about it before, but her being gone kept it from being the perfect day. She would have loved the excitement. She would have loved the party and the cupcakes. I'm sure she would have had her South Carolina opinion about something [peeled tomatoes, straight hair parted down the center], but she would have danced on the dance floor and told me I was her beautiful doll. She would have walked own the aisle so proudly and hugged me and Le Husband a million times. She never got to meet the man of my dreams or witness me become a wife. She will never see her great-grand children and she will never be able to pass down advice on being a mother. Those moments have been stripped away forever and I can't help but cry as I type.
I honored her at my wedding with a picture on our wedding cake table. She loved cake and ice cream and I knew I wanted her picture where all could witness her beautiful face. I find myself looking back to these photos every time I scroll through wedding pictures. It's the little piece of her I keep in my heart from that day.
Wasn't she gorgeous? I get my small stature from her and my petite lil frame. I wish I had taken the time to cook with her more. I wanted to learn her butter bean, potato salad and ham recipe. Mama B will teach me, I know, but I wish I had spent time in the kitchen with Mo. She loved to cook. That's how she showed love, by cooking dinner for us every night when we visited. She wasn't as athletic as she once was, due to a midlife surgery, so she couldn't participate in some of the fun on the lake. But she brought us dinner every night and it was delicious.
We lost my great aunt, Mo's sister in 2013 and it happened to be the same week we had to say good-bye to Mo. It was so hard and it ripped open a scab I thought was closed for good. The anger came back. The hurt came back. And my faith felt tested once again. To be honest it feels tested every April 8th. She's not here anymore and I regret all of the things I didn't say to her and the moments I brushed off because I would get frustrated. I lost so much and it was all my fault. But, there is nothing I can do about it now. All I can do is honor her memory and remember all the joy she brought to my life.
Dearest Mo, I hope you know that you are missed so greatly. I hope you are proud of the woman your doll baby has become. I hope you are proud of how much I love to be in the kitchen and how much I love to cook. I hope when you look down on us you smile at Le Husband. He's a great guy, even if he isn't southern ;)! I know you and Aunt Rah-Rah are keeping people well fed up in heaven and I'm happy that the two of you are together. We all wish you could still be with us, but we know it was time for you to go home. Please know how much we love you and how often you are still thought about. I'll always pick the vegetables from the back because of you. I love you to the moon and back! < 3 your doll!
***To those reading that have lost a parent, please know I grieve for you. Losing my grandmother hurts me so badly, but I can't imagine the suffering faced when losing a parent. Please know I'm praying for you and send you a big hug***
November 25, 2014
Sometimes you have to {Surrender}
We think we can do it all. We think we have this thing called life down to an art. Then life rears it's head and hits us where it hurts. It brings sickness, lost jobs, surprise surgeries, broken friendships, breakups, divorce, miscarriages, troubles conceiving, missed opportunities and so many other tough breaks. Life can be hard and sometimes it's hard to manage and keep the smile on our faces, despite how desperately we try to keep it all together.
When I get stressed, I turn {i n w a r d} and try to keep it to myself. I hate admitting I'm not strong. I hate admitting I can't do it myself and I've started to hate crying in front of anyone. I do whatever I can to hide the tears and the sobs, because I don't like showing my weakness. I'm fine crying at a sad story on TV or a sports moment, but acknowledging that life makes me cry is NOT something I want others to see.
Friday was one of those days I barely kept it together. Which is why I left the gym after one set. I felt so beaten down, that I KNEW I couldn't handle another 'defeat' without losing it. Le Husband stayed behind, because I told him to, and I went home, surrendered to the stress and sobbed in dark, without fear of being found out.
In the quiet of my dark apartment, I found some peace in acknowledging what was troubling me and then I began trying to push through the sadness, to get right again. We all have different ways we handle stress and fear, I personally turn to the Lord and the word. I find that when I can't figure it out on my own, He can help me find my way.
After some quiet meditation, a text to my BOFF, and some tears in the shower, I felt better and was ready for the rest of the evening. Le Husband did what he could by taking me out on a date and then we met some friends at a bar, which gave me some happy distraction. Suddenly, life was good again and I was back to my normal self.
Sunday I was able to witness a sermon perfectly suited for Friday's problems. The pastor preached on anxiety and the different ways we combat our fears. The scripture felt like it was picked JUST for me and I found comfort in knowing I am not alone in my fears and my anxiety.
When I get stressed, I turn {i n w a r d} and try to keep it to myself. I hate admitting I'm not strong. I hate admitting I can't do it myself and I've started to hate crying in front of anyone. I do whatever I can to hide the tears and the sobs, because I don't like showing my weakness. I'm fine crying at a sad story on TV or a sports moment, but acknowledging that life makes me cry is NOT something I want others to see.
Friday was one of those days I barely kept it together. Which is why I left the gym after one set. I felt so beaten down, that I KNEW I couldn't handle another 'defeat' without losing it. Le Husband stayed behind, because I told him to, and I went home, surrendered to the stress and sobbed in dark, without fear of being found out.
In the quiet of my dark apartment, I found some peace in acknowledging what was troubling me and then I began trying to push through the sadness, to get right again. We all have different ways we handle stress and fear, I personally turn to the Lord and the word. I find that when I can't figure it out on my own, He can help me find my way.
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Sunday I was able to witness a sermon perfectly suited for Friday's problems. The pastor preached on anxiety and the different ways we combat our fears. The scripture felt like it was picked JUST for me and I found comfort in knowing I am not alone in my fears and my anxiety.
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. "
{source}
My attitude is better now, but there will be bad days, fears and
anxieties about what life brings. This is a week where most are
celebrating family, friends and love, but there are those that dread the
holidays. If anyone of you fall into that category, know that I'm
thinking of you and praying for you during this season. < 3
Life is far from perfect and I never try to portray perfection here. I hate wallowing in despair or complaining about things I can change, or the ridiculous dramas of life, because that's just silly. However, I choose to acknowledge my bad days, my imperfections and my fears. The bad makes the good that much more sweet, right?
Today, I will face my fears head on and surrender my anxiety.
Today, I will face my fears head on and surrender my anxiety.
June 3, 2014
"All You Have to Do is Call My Name"
...and I'll be there. I'll be there...
Friendship is a beautiful thing.
A wonderful, joyful, fabulous thing.
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Many times friends become part of our family.
Or, they become our family.
True friends can recognize the look in our eyes
when our smile fools everyone else.
They keep our darkest, hidden secrets.
Friends tell us when we're being ridiculous,
but let us fall if we need, so we can learn.
Friends send flowers just to brighten bad day.
Or send cupcakes, screw that diet.
A friend is someone you can turn to, no matter what.
No matter the situation, time of day or night.
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They cry with you or hold you while you cry..
Friends pray for you when you're sad and when you're happy.
They are the first people to rejoice in your achievements,
no matter what is going on their lives.
A friend knows when to go the extra mile, even if it makes
their day longer, harder or tougher.
Distance only makes a friendship stronger.
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Friendship makes my soul happy.
To all my friends, new and old, I < 3 you!
May 23, 2014
Twenty Four Notes
The TRUE meaning of Memorial Day Weekend.
"Day is done, gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills, from the sky
All is well, safely rest
God is nigh."
**brief history ::here::**
May 15, 2014
Why All the Pain and Suffering?!?
Normally, I like to keep it fresh and fun over here. I'm not the most hilarious blogger in the world, and my life isn't perfect by any means, but I am an optimist and try to see the lighter/happier side of life. However, sometimes life has other ideas and even a supreme optimist can be thrown for a loop. [please excuse the long post, which is probably full of errors and makes very little sense. you have been warned]
This past weekend, in Virgina, three incredible people died unexpectedly in a freak accident. An accident that no one could prepare for or see coming. Three amazing people are no longer part of this earth and it's heartbreaking. Sadly, the heartbreak is felt in my household as one of the victims was a former college teammate of Babyspice. She has taken the loss extremely hard. It's one of those "she was such a lovely, bright, kind and wonderful person. how does this happen" moments. I'm so sad for the families of those who died and I can't imagine what they are going through. What was supposed to be a fun event, turned into a tragic end.
Speaking of tragic, what about those natural disasters that appear and cause havoc and death? Sometimes, it's not just sad and unbelievable, it's incredibly heartbreaking. We as humans understand that nature can turn on us in a dime. And that we can try to shelter ourselves as best as possible, but sometimes, nature wins. Often, the best side of humanity comes out after natural disasters, but usually, the worst happens first.
Speaking of the worst, a good friend of mine is dealing with the worst work situation and it makes me so angry. She has a tremendous work ethic, but due to a boss that sucks at life and crappy rules, she's being pushed out of her job. It's incredibly unfair, and honestly a really bad work choice in my opinion but there's nothing that can be done. I'm trying to be there for her, as best I can, but honestly I don't have anything to say to make it better. I believe that there is something better for her out there, but I know that's not what she needs to hear right now. I had such faith in her boss and her company and it just stinks how everything has gone down.
And then there's just the day to day "did that really just happen". The car accident that you never expect, the scary medical news you had no idea was out there, the family member that gets sick, the unexpected injury from a sports game, the surprise new work schedule. All things you don't plan for and all things that can really effect your day to day mentality.
Despite all the bad, I try to find the happy and the joy of the other side. The new baby born to a loving family. The new job for a parent that has been out of work for too long. The unexpected raise, that allows someone to quit their second job. The beautiful side of humanity, just showing up because someone cares. I have faith that good triumphs over evil and that happiness outweighs sadness, but right now, there's a lot of sadness going on and it troubles me.
***comments turned off. I just needed to get the words out of my head. < 3 ***
This past weekend, in Virgina, three incredible people died unexpectedly in a freak accident. An accident that no one could prepare for or see coming. Three amazing people are no longer part of this earth and it's heartbreaking. Sadly, the heartbreak is felt in my household as one of the victims was a former college teammate of Babyspice. She has taken the loss extremely hard. It's one of those "she was such a lovely, bright, kind and wonderful person. how does this happen" moments. I'm so sad for the families of those who died and I can't imagine what they are going through. What was supposed to be a fun event, turned into a tragic end.
Speaking of tragic, what about those natural disasters that appear and cause havoc and death? Sometimes, it's not just sad and unbelievable, it's incredibly heartbreaking. We as humans understand that nature can turn on us in a dime. And that we can try to shelter ourselves as best as possible, but sometimes, nature wins. Often, the best side of humanity comes out after natural disasters, but usually, the worst happens first.
Speaking of the worst, a good friend of mine is dealing with the worst work situation and it makes me so angry. She has a tremendous work ethic, but due to a boss that sucks at life and crappy rules, she's being pushed out of her job. It's incredibly unfair, and honestly a really bad work choice in my opinion but there's nothing that can be done. I'm trying to be there for her, as best I can, but honestly I don't have anything to say to make it better. I believe that there is something better for her out there, but I know that's not what she needs to hear right now. I had such faith in her boss and her company and it just stinks how everything has gone down.
And then there's just the day to day "did that really just happen". The car accident that you never expect, the scary medical news you had no idea was out there, the family member that gets sick, the unexpected injury from a sports game, the surprise new work schedule. All things you don't plan for and all things that can really effect your day to day mentality.
Despite all the bad, I try to find the happy and the joy of the other side. The new baby born to a loving family. The new job for a parent that has been out of work for too long. The unexpected raise, that allows someone to quit their second job. The beautiful side of humanity, just showing up because someone cares. I have faith that good triumphs over evil and that happiness outweighs sadness, but right now, there's a lot of sadness going on and it troubles me.
***comments turned off. I just needed to get the words out of my head. < 3 ***
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