Thoughts on a Thursday: ALMOST

Almost. One of the toughest words. You're there, but not quite. So close you can envision the next step, yet still so far away. Trying your BEST to be MOST, then learning nope.

Almost. 2018 began with a brave step into the unknown. March brought another brave step as I pursued my dream at a live audition. Earlier this week I received the news I would not be moving on to join the presenter team this year, ending my journey for the moment. The talent at auditions was fire, cream of the crop incredible and I'm so thrilled for those moving on this year. They are going to shine this year and I can't wait to see what they bring to the team. I am also beyond grateful I was picked to audition, able to meet the LMUS team in person, learn from the best and understand their philosophy. I trust their judgement and believe they know what they want every year. 

Almost. I'm not going to lie, this moment stings. BAD. It hurts more than I've shared on other social media avenues. I cried when I read the email because all of the work just went POOF in a matter of paragraphs. This was something I wanted so badly and I TRULY thought I had a good chance after the live audition. My feedback was great, I felt I did my best and the numbers seemed to be in my favor. Hearing 'no' is a swift kick to the gut as I look back on moments and wonder what if? I wanted this because I wanted to be great. I've been good at many things throughout my life but rarely, if EVER, have I been great. I seem to JUST miss the mark each time and THIS moment was so close I could taste the words, "I MADE IT".

Almost. Moments like these can be breaking or making points. Almost moments force us to look deep into our core, into our soul and decide where we go after we fail. Do we quite? Do we walk away? Do we throw our hands up and say never again? Do we grow bitter and angry? Or do we recommit? Do we learn? Do we refocus and use the failure as fuel for the NEXT CHANCE?

Almost. I am sharing this not to gain comments or 'you're great' words. I'm posting this failure to let everyone know it happens to everyone and that failing is okay. Whether you've failed something big, small, or just missed a weigh in or a fitness challenge know that FAILURE DOES NOT define you. Being brave, making the choice to try something...THAT DEFINES YOU. Standing back up after falling on your face...THAT DEFINES YOU. Choosing to persevere after being told no...THAT DEFINES YOU. Keep showing up. Keep grinding. Keep doing the work. Maybe almost this year means DAMN YES next year. Maybe it means in two years. Maybe you were ready for the team but they weren't ready for what you bring to the table. Maybe you are a margarita and they needed champagne this year. 

ALMOST now fuels my fire. Being so close means I'm THAT FAR ahead for next year. My current Les Mills journey will include focusing more on my teaching to better serve my members. To hone my craft to be the BEST I can be EACH and EVERY class. I believe in rising up stronger and better than when I fell short, so BRING.IT.ON!

Thank you for all of your support over the past few months. Thank you to everyone who saw this post yesterday on INSTAGRAM and FACEBOOK. I appreciate your words more than you know and your support of MY dreams means the world. 

C U R R E N T L Y {APRIL}

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showering in my OWN home because our shower works...with HOT WATER! HUZZAH!

cultivating the perfect look in our master bath, picking up all the last lil accessories.

expecting the next ten days to be pretty fanFREAKINGtastic. #birthdaytrip #sissyreunion #babyniece

buying nothing but the necessities right now. #lightattheendofthetunnel #soon 

cooking healthier foods because I will be on a beach at the end of the month, eeek!

believing THIRTY-FIVE could be my best year yet, cheers to BIRTHDAY MONTH!!!

loving I leave for Arizona this week to see baby niece. weeeedeeedeeeee

reading books, allllll the booooooks! #historicalfictionkick

anticipating audition results. this month, people, eeeek! #graceforeitheroutcome #wantitbad

wearing workout clothes with NO JACKET! PTL! Spring is happening here.

renovating nothing. FLIP FLOP NOTHING, HALLELUJAH AND HALLELUJAH!

What I Loved/Learned in March

Loved: making time to FINALLY get a library card and check out some books. I found a two new authors I really enjoy and found some gorgeous written novels as well as a new thriller series. Making myself write my SHOW US YOUR BOOKS post this weekend so I can finally post.

Learned: stretching before bed usually leads to a much more peaceful sleep and easier morning.

Loved: finally having a blate with my BOFF and Jess. You can read the recap here, it was quite the weekend and one I will remember for a long time to come.


Learned: how important it is to have GOOD girlfriends who support you quietly when life gets really tough. Loud, vocal support is important, but sometimes you need someone to quietly pray and champion you as you struggle through the mess.

Loved: the arrival of my niece! Three weeks old yesterday, wow.

Learned: how to deal with family far away when good things happen. It broke my heart I couldn't be there for my sister and it kills me I haven't seen my niece yet. However, I'm so beyond grateful for FaceTime, cell phones and pictures on family texts.

Loved: being brave and putting myself out there to audition for Les Mills. Practicing was no joke, preparation took a long time and the macro counting made me say no to a lot of yummy foods, yet it was all worth it in the end. So much for barely three minutes total of ME presenting, but it was the best day. A fun road trip with friends and I made so many more instructor friends that Saturday.

Learned: I am good at what I do. No matter the outcome, I hold in high regard the fact I was one of very few considered for this next round. Feedback given is already being put into place with my weekly classes and I feel so much more *YES* about teaching.

What did you love or learn this month?

Auditions Rocked & Weather Ruined Plans

Wowzers.

The word to describe my weekend. Both amazing and incredulous. Not in the good way, sadly. Despite what the weather aka the CRAZY AF winds blew into town, I was able to enjoy my trip home. Oh and I rocked the auditions which was such an amazing feeling.

Trip details:

+ Drove up to DC from Knoxville with two of my besties who also auditioned. It was a nice and easy trip, with lots of laughs and texts along the way. Everything was hunky dory until route 66.

+ Daddy called me and relayed the news the CRAZY AF winds had downed a power line on our street, so not only were we out of power, there was no way to get up the street to the house because the lines were down. Have I mentioned we live on a culdesac?

+ The girls and I were able to get a hotel on points close to the city which was awesome. I felt so bad for Daddy, but he pulled together a generator and was completely fine, so he said.

+ Saturday we were up early for auditions. All three of us are early birds and arrived an hour early to get the lay of the land. BODYPUMP was the first audition and there were eight of us audition. The president of LMUS was there so we all had a starstruck moment when he let us know about the day. #allthehearteyes

+ BODYPUMP auditions went really well and I was super proud of what I did. Everyone was told to have more space between their coaching. I was told even though I was petite I looked strong and have a commanding voice!!! Talk about a major pump up, so thrilled. My friends did really well, too.

+ While my friends auditioned for BODYSTEP I was in the cycle room auditioning for SPRINT. I did really well with this audition, talked a bit too much but I was nervous, however I really felt I did the best I could techniquewise which is huge. The feedback was incredible, again and I was thrilled with everything I learned.

+ Once we were done with auditions we chilled out for a bit, then went and ATE ALL THE THINGS. Chicken and waffles was my choice of deliciousness and it was divine. The girls headed west to drive home on Sunday and I headed down to see Daddy.

+ Power was still off but we chilled out until leaving to go to dinner with Babyspice. We hit up our usual watering hole and it was deliciously fun to be together. Thankfully when we got home the power was on, even though no Internet, so we watched movies until bedtime.

+ Sunday I met up with two darling friends and enjoyed catching up on life. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful people to work their plans around me. Then it was family dinner, more movies and then bed. I woke up early for the drive home on Monday and it was a quick, but long, eight hours home.

+ This weekend was SUCH a meaningful one. I learned so much about the company, so much about myself and so much about how well I'm actually doing. I'm not saying it to be conceited, but to make it THIS FAR IS SUPER HUGE. I don't find out results until mid April, but I'm thankful I don't have to worry about my part. What is decided is out of my hands and I showed them my best. THat's all i can ask for right?