12 Gifts of a Questionable Genius

It is that time of the year when people are thinking of giving gifts. I love giving gifts. It is fun to share some of my favorite things with people that I like and hope that they will like them too.  I have a coworker that often picks my brain for ideas on what to get people, because I am “in tune” with the “nerd crowd”.  I am mostly positive that she means it as a compliment.  (Mostly)  I think it is just that I have a weird sense of humor, and I only buy stuff that amuses me.  

My go to for gifts is almost always books, because I love books. I love the weight of them. I love the smell of them. I love their stack-ability and their easy wrap-ability. Not to mention, I love getting engrossed in a story and being able to share that with other people. I am pretty sure there is some type of book for everyone.  They just don’t know it yet. 

I am not going to turn this into a list of books to buy people, because despite the wonderful wrap-ability and stack-ability of books, I do like to mix it up and think outside of the box for gifts. Instead I am going to list 12 non-book idea’s to consider. (Spoiler- 12 book idea’s will be posted in a future post.)

1.        Geodes-

Crack them yourself variety. (Fun hands on project that is okay to beat with a hammer.  I would include the hammer, but only if the other person really likes you. ) 

2.       Tie-Dye Kit

 (There can never be enough tie- dye! What else can you look like your murdered a clown, without actually murdering a clown.) 

3.       Funky Socks

 (Everyone needs socks even, if they don’t’ want to admit it.)

4.       Grave Robbers from Outer Space 

(This might be one of my favorite games & it is a great stocking stuffer! I  might have to do a top 12 games list.  There are lots of awesome games out there!)

5.       Mushroom Growing Kit 

(Even people that can’t grow things can do this. I did it and it was awesome!)

6.       Road Trip First Aid Kit 

(I know this sounds boring, but there is always that one person that prefers utilitarian gifts and you don’t ever realize you need a first aid kit until it is too late.)

7.      Throwing Stars

(Embrace your inner ninja. Do it! I feel like this sells itself and doesn't really need talked up on how awesome and unexpected it is to receive a throwing star.)

8.       Head Lamp 

(Another one of the practical gifts, but come on, everyone can use a hands free flash light. Think about how the horror movie industry would crumble and fail if people didn't have flashlights to drop in the dark.  If it is attached to your head, you can't drop it unless you lose your head!  Total win.)

9.       Thumb Drives

(Easy, useful and can be found in a wide variety of styles to meet every ones needs.  I probably lose as many thumb drives as I actually use.)

10.      Cat Bus Plush 

(I have been educated by my nieces that everyone loves stuffed animals. I think this one is awesome, but if you aren't into anime at all, then perhaps the Three Toed Sloth plush is a good second choice.)

11.      French Press 

(Probably one of the most adult recommends I have, but it is useful.  It doesn't matter if you are a coffee or a tea drinker or if you are just looking to infuse something. French presses are pretty awesome.)

12.      Chia Pet 

(Nobody ever expects to get a chia pet. That is what makes them fun.)

 It was hard not to put my genius ideas that I am implementing this year down in the list, but I am sure some people will recognize some of these awesome gifts from past years.  I think that the trick to gift giving is to get them something that you would also like to receive, because it shows that you care.

Last one Standing

Not all sibling relationships are harmonious. I have gone for years with out uttering a word to my siblings. To some people this would be an ideal relationship, to other people it would be a nightmare. It all depends on the sort of relationship you have with your siblings.

My brother and I have figured this whole sibling relationship out. The goal is to be the last one standing. As far as we know we are the only two left.  The youngest brother passed on a little over a year ago  and the oldest sister is presumed to have passed on.  We are not entirely sure if she was eaten by wild dogs or just went to commune with the nature.  Either way, I am not going camping anytime soon, (I read Wytches,  I know what to expect.)

There are rules to being the last wizard standing.  (Wizard, sibling... Same thing) It is much like the assassins guild, it is going to take a fair amount of planning and elegance.  You can't just up and knife them in the spleen, you have to get away cleanly also with nothing linking you to that life exipiration date.  That is where elegance and planning come into play. 

My brother and I have a birthday in the same month and this latest attempt on both our parts was perfect. Birthday gifts are the gifts that keep on giving.  It was the if I give you the tools, you will do it your self, in a Darwin Awards sort of way plan that both of us had, that left me laughing at our genius. 

For my birthday my brother sent me a grow your own mushroom kit and assured me that they were edible. It could be considered a thoughtful gift, considering my love for cooking and love for mushrooms, or it could be a subtle way of me poisoning myself, because after all, he didn't make me eat the mushroom, just gave me to the tools to grow it.  It would be my fault, because every one knows you just don't eat random mushrooms.  Clever my brother is. 

For his birthday I got him nunchucks and a set of sais. I could be the best sister in the world, because I know that he needs to embrace his inner Ninja Turtle and the only way to do that is to be armed like a Ninja Turtle.  Or I could be devious and have given him instruments of bodily destruction that if he tries to use them, he could hurt himself.  Sneaky I am.  

I feel like it was a stalemate this round, both of us will survive these gifts, but it has given me some new ideas for the next gift giving holiday.  I am hoping this is a long drawn out game of last wizard standing, because the best part is seeing what the next move is. 

Subconscience Gift

I love giving gifts. I also enjoy my libations. When these two things meet up, it often leave me scratching my head and wondering what I was thinking.  To quell this buyers remorse I have resorted to online shopping and either throwing things on a wish list to look at later or not checking my virtual cart out until a day or two has passed and my head has cleared. That way I can assess if I am a genius or perhaps just a little intoxicated.

I recently discovered a private wish list I created that has left me scratching my head.  I probably started it in the summer or perhaps in the fall, but honestly I don't know when I started it.  I clearly had something in mind when it came to fruition.

Here is the list:

1. Mindful Skull Tapestry Beach Sheet
2. Set of 4 Ninja Throwing Spikes with Wrist Sheath
3. M48 Apocalypse Tactical Tomahawk
4. Kraken Sea Monster Patrol Patch
5. Tungsten Carbide Steel Lord of the Rings Ring
6. Map of Middle Earth on Silk Cloth
7. Cat Treats
8. Mudder 60W 110V Electrically Adjustable Temperature Welding Soldering Iron w/ Five different tips


To me, it looks like I am either going on an adventure to Middle Earth and I am taking my cat with me and expecting trouble or I was preparing for the end of the world and planned on surviving off of the cat treats as a last resort.  Either could be a possibility. I don't know.  Part of me wants to buy all the things and use them as white elephant gifts and the other part of me is trying to figure out the method behind this madness.   If you are ever stuck for gift ideas, I don't think you can go wrong with throwing spikes.  I am pretty sure that is something every one could use multiple of and not be upset for receiving duplicates.

Let Us Pretend This is Peach Pie

 I took a week off of the cookbook challenge to focus on canning, and then took another week to be a guinea pig for GAT and Lizzy in their cookbook challenge.  I then got wrapped up in reading The Enchantment Emporium, by Tanya Huff. I will write  a review on that later, but the one thing I will say about the book right now, is that it put me in the mood for pie.

Realizing that my hiatus in the challenge will only put me further behind than I already feel that I am, and knowing that I had fruit that I needed to use up, it was time for me to crack open a cookbook and get back to work. Choosing one of the many dessert cookbooks that I have at random, I figured there had to be a pie recipe in there somewhere.

Pie Time!

 When I think about pastries, I think about turnovers, pies, and filo pastry. I do not often think of savory dishes; but surprisingly there were a fair amount of savory dishes available in The Best Ever Pastry Cookbook.  I had pie on the brain and could not be persuaded despite how delicious some of the dishes sounded.  I was in luck. There was a lovely recipe for Peach Leaf Pie. It even had a crust recipe and didn't have the audacity to assume that I know how to make a crust.  It has been years since I have made a pie from scratch, much less made a canned pie.  Crust has never been something I have excelled at. Pie isn't something that is normal in my house. Cakes and cookies reign supreme, until now. Pie might become the new cake.  Not to mention it freezes better.

Bald Not- Peaches Peaches

I pulled out my ingredients and looked over the recipe and I seemed that I had everything, but one critical item needed for peach pie. I didn't have any peaches. The peaches that we did have, were used the night before on the grill with and devoured with vanilla ice cream. It was a noble peach death.  All was not lost. I did have some nectarines and a few golden plums from the local CSA.  Nectarines are just bald peaches, or at least that is what I am pretending.

Balls

Assembling the dough was easier than I thought and I am pretty lethal with a fork. Mostly because out of all the kitchen gadgets and thing-a-ma-jigs that I own, I do not at this time own a dough blender.  I decided that I could just fork it into submission. It worked, and that is all that matters.  Molding the dough into two butter filled balls, I shoved them into the fridge and started to slicing the fruit.

There is something magical about fruit in sugar. It gets all syrupy and sticky. It is delicious and I could have eaten a bowl of the not peaches in sugar and fallen into a sugar coma if I were a person of less restraint.   Rolling the dough out, I filled the center with the delicious goodness of seasonal fruit goodness.

Iggins in the Cabinet

The recipe called for dough to be cut out into shapes of leaves and piled onto the pile and a very beautiful time consuming passion pattern. I do not have a leaf cutter. The idea of doing it all by hand while I have I have an Iggins begging for my attention or cat food did not entice me to cut out three dozen dough leaves by hand, add veins to them and arrange them onto the pie.  I do however have ninja cookie cutters. Pie crust is nothing but a dough, and cookie cutters are made to cut through dough. It was perfect. My pie is covered in ninjas.  They are in a constant battle over the peaches. It is awesome.

I think that I will make more pies in the future and that they are more visually appealing to me when decorated with things that appeal to me.  I think that the Peach Ninja Pie would appeal to people. Especially if no peaches were harmed in the process. Maybe for Thanksgiving I'll make a Blueberry Dinosaur Pie, or a Sour Apple Snowflake.

In other news. Two more cookbooks have been added to the challenge. My mother in law brought me a lovely cookbook back from down south, and I compulsively bought a new cookbook and chocolate. My rational was that I didn't own a chocolate cookbook, and I needed more chocolate in my life. I will be updating those books to the list on Library Thing soon. Total number of cookbooks is now 60. Total of 9 out of 60 have been completed.