Calico Ghost Town

Sit right back and you will hear a tale. A tale of a fateful trip. It started...  Okay, that may be the beginning of Gilligan’s Island and my trip wasn’t fateful, but like most of the episodes of Gilligan’s Island it was at the very least interesting.  

In fact the adventure that I am thinking about is no where near boating or water and take place in Calico Ghost Town.  When I was a young lass, my mother took me camping at Calico Ghost Town and I distinctly remember the Camp Ground Keeper warning us to never wander into any of the mines, because our bodies might not be found and to always dump your shoes before putting them on, because scorpions liked to hide in them.  Needless to say, we only camped there once and the place left a lasting impression on me, because anytime I am in the desert, I constantly think about scorpions and death by scorpions sting.

 

Now, lets fast forward at least a decade and the urge to go back to Calico Ghost Town strikes me.  I have a love for caves, and what is a mine but a man made cave?  Or at least that is the thought running through my head when I cajole my dear father into a drive to the desert.  When we get there, the town is nothing like I remembered.  Which was wonderful. It was one of my favorite things ever, a roadside attraction with a historical flair. Yes, there were mines, but there was so much more.  The town catered to tourists of a family nature, and there were enough activities to keep young children entertained while receiving a brief history of mining and life on a new frontier.  Pretty much everything my dad could roll his eyes at and humor me on was there, whether that was to dress up in old times clothes for pictures or to ride a train that pointed out the history of mining and the area or walk through the Mystery Shack.  

While most would say that it doesn’t do any good to go down memory lane, sometimes it is just what is needed.  I appreciate the time I went as a small child and the fear of scorpions it provided, but I also appreciate go back and seeing how things can change in a positive way an created new memories.

Marshmallow. Mail

My father cracks me up.  I suddenly feel like I have to up my mail game.

As an early Valentines Day, I received Marshmallows in the mail.

That in itself cracked me up, but to put the icing on the cake was the message on the bag and some interesting graphic design choices. 

I am sure that it was supposed to be an innocent finger pointing sort of thing, sort of saying “You got this” or “Shoot”, but in my brain it looked totally like something else.  Something that would give you the munchies and relax you if you took a couple of hits.   

Dad is totally made check mate in one move. I totally need to up my mail game.

The Chuck

A while back my dad asked me for ideas and what to make with cornmeal that was not cornbread.   I immediately suggested polenta, but somehow that failed to satisfy the hunger growling in his stomach.  Chatting with Gat, I was inspired to experiment with dinner.  I haven’t quite come up with a name for it, but it is basically an inside out enchilada or deconstructed enchilada.  I am still working on the name. Or perhaps I’ll just name it after my father.  

The Chuck

Ingredients

1 pound boneless skinless chicken chopped 

1 can of  red enchilada sauce

1 tablespoon minced Garlic

1 tablespoon chili powder

1 tablespoon cumin power

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon oregano

1 can of corn nuggets drained or 1 cup of frozen corn

1 box jiffy Corn bread mix

1/2 cup diced fresh chilies or 1 small can of diced green chilies

1/2 cup diced onions

1 can of diced tomatoes (I like the ones with habaneros mixed in, but you can really use any of them.)

1 can of beans  drained and rinsed (I use black or small white, but others will work.  Dealers choice)

2 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese

1 egg

1 cup milk

Olive Oil

Tools

Large Skillet

Medium Bowl

Small bowl

9 x 13 baking dish (deep dish if possible)

Spoons

Spatula 

Tequila (just kidding, you don’t need this)

Instructions

Turn the oven on to 350 degrees

In a bowl mix chopped chicken, garlic, chili powder, cumin powder, salt, and oregano until chicken is evenly seasoned. Set aside.

In a large skillet, drizzle olive oil and heat. Once warm, add diced peppers and onions.  Cook until onions are translucent. Add  seasoned chicken mix and cook chicken until cooked all the way through.  Add diced tomatoes, corn and beans, enchilada sauce.  Cook until corn and beans are heated through.  Transfer contents of skillet mix into a 9x13 baking dish and set to the side. 

In a bowl open Jiffy corn bread mix, and mix according to the box. (This is where the egg and the milk come in from the ingredient list.) Once the mix is as smooth as corn bread mix can be, with a large spoon, ladle large dollops of  mix into the chicken mix. Think corn bread dumplings. Once all of the corn bread mix has joined the chicken mix, sprinkle the entire dish with the shredded cheese and place in the oven. Bake for 30 minutes. The cheese should be nice and melty and the cornbread should be cooked all the way through. If the corn bread looks runny, put it in for another 10 minutes. 

The end product is a dish that makes me think of tamales, enchiladas and comfort food all wrapped into one.  Excellent for next day lunches.   While I haven’t tried it, I am sure the concept would work well with shredded beef, pork, or chorizo if you were looking for variety. 

Hot Avocado

I suddenly understand how the people feel after a conversation with me when I have had too much tea.  This sudden understanding was brought to me by an conversation I just had with my father.

Dad:  I just got a dozen avocados from a friend, the heat wave had them drop. They are tasty.

Me: I like avocados, but I don’t like them warm.

Dad: Why would you do that to an avocado? 

Me: I don’t, but they make avocado egg rolls and they are terrible.

Dad: I think Del Taco puts it in their burrito.  

Me: That is not quite the same thing.  

Dad: It is a warm avocado.  Besides you are only eating it for the hot sauce.

Me: We don’t have Del Taco out here.

Dad: You are missing out on the taco sauce.  They give you like, eight packets at a time and you might only use four or five.  I think it would only take a month to save up the extra packets and I can send you a box.

Me: Please don’t.  That is crazy old man talk.

Dad: But it is good sauce, and you might like it if you try it.  Don’t you like hot sauce?

Me: ....Yes, I like hot sauce, but don’t collect Del Taco hot sauce packets and send them to me.

Dad: .....but....it won’t  take that long....

Dad- Read Something New!

My dad has this habit of reading the same book series over and over again.  I have no idea what is so facinating about the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series.  I got through about a third of the first book and felt no inclination to finish reading it. However my father has read the series 8 times and when he can’t find anything else to read, he starts it over again.

Dad, There are other books out there.  In fact you should check some of these books out the next time you think about starting the series one more time.  It is okay to read other books. It won’t hurt their feelings.

1. The Bat  by Jo Nesbo
2. The Hynotist  by Lars Kepler
3. Fatherland by Robert Harris
4. The Big Bounce by Elmore Leonard
5. Forever and Death by Donald Westlake

Dad, I can give you more recommendations.  Just let me know.  It is okay to read something new.

Beet It!

I am not sure that Pinterest experiments are supposed to look like you dismembered someone, but I could be wrong.  There is no way to parboil beets without it looking like something out of a horror movie. Add a little cornstarch and you have an okay fake blood that stains just like real blood.  

(Welcome to the magic of beets!)

Beets are one of those vegetables that are under-rated. They are like the funky cousin of the potato. Except I have never had a pickled potato, and would be a little wary on trying it. On the other hand I have devoured my fair share of pickled beets.  In case you didn't know, I like beets.  I really like them on my salad, which is where my earlier comment on parboiled beets comes in.  While my father was out visiting, we  (I helped from the next room and offered lots of encouragement) made a couple of jars of shelf stable pickled beets. 

I have no idea how well the beets turned out.  We made three jars and they all made that beautiful popping noise that indicated they sealed, but we didn't actually taste any of them. The recipe we used from Pinterest gave us free rain for creativity and I don't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I love Jake & Amos Baby Fire Beets, and we decided to add red pepper flakes to the recipe.  It is unknown as to if this was a good idea, and I am not sure I have any friends that want to be guinea pig test subjects.  Thankfully we are going into winter weather, and the probability of being snowed into the house at least once is high, which will force me to try them. 

Exploring the Caverns

Cold winter days are meant for exploring caves. Did you know it is a constant 52 degrees in a cave? Which means it is at least 20 degrees warmer in the cave then it is outside of the cave.  My dad came out for an early Christmas visit, and part of the fun of his visits is the amount of adventures and tourist things we get to go do. 

I love caves.   Indian Echo Caverns is local to me, and I decided that it was a necessary father -daughter bonding experience to visit this cave. The caverns are a fun place to visit and the tour is about 45 minutes at a leisurely pace. I enjoyed the caverns.  One of the unique things about this cavern is that it is still living and growing.   You get the pleasure of seeing formations as they are growing and marvel at have shiny they are with the calcite growth.

My dad has never done a cave tour before, so this was unique experience for him. During the walk down the seventy two steps, my dad joked that he was claustrophobic.  Considering I have done mine tours with him, I know this is not case, but I did chuckle at the couple of low hanging passage ways that caused him to duck.  I enjoyed the tour and even spent some quality time with their goats and feisty old turkey. 

If you are ever in the Hershey area, and looking for something to do other than the amusement park, I would recommend the caverns.  There is enough diversity there to keep the whole family entertained and is open all year long.  Then again, I also like caves, so my opinion may be a little bias. 

New Motto

Be Kind. The Universe is watching. 

That is what my dad told me this morning. He said it came to him in a dream last night. He said that he had some weird dreams last night, and he wasn't sure what he ate before bed, but he woke up with that in his head.   He couldn't really remember much of what went on other than that word of advice. I have to smile, because of all the things that you could wake up with in your mind, that is pretty awesome advice, and for some reason it gives me a little bit of hope for the future.  I think this is going to be my new motto. It certainly can't hurt. 

Be Kind.  The Universe is watching. 

Mushroom Hair

I think that my father might be one of my favorite people to talk to. Mostly because he is weird. Somehow we can start with a really normal conversation and before I know it, it has gone off the rails some where.  The other week we were talking about how old he was getting and how he is more snow on the roof top than anything else.

Dad: I read some where that the copper in shiitake mushrooms will help you regain hair color.  

Me:What? 

Dad: Something about how as a person gets older they lose minerals and hair color retention has to do with diet. 

Me: Why can't you just eat a penny?

Dad: You don't digest pennies and they aren't made out of copper anymore.

Me: I know the new ones aren't, but I am sure you can get an old penny.

Dad: I think I would rather take my chances with the mushrooms.

Me: I have never heard that about shiitake mushrooms. 

Dad: It would be nice to have a little bit more color up there.

Me: You could always dye it.

Dad: Then everyone would know. It isn't like a touch of gray.  The mushrooms might bring it back more naturally.

Me: Do you need me to send you some mushrooms?

Dad: I am pretty sure I can just get them at the grocery store.

Me: Yeah, but you have a lot of white up there. 

Dad: Brat.

I have no idea if copper in shiitake mushrooms is true.  A quick google search on them, tells me that they were used in herbal medicines and are fabled to promote longevity. I don't know if that applies to hair color.  With this being said, my dad might be getting a delivery of dried mushrooms in the mail for Father Day.  Who says I don't listen? 

Savoring Conversations

I love having conversations with my father. Having a conversation with my father at times is like waiting for a comedian to deliver a punch line.  I never know where the conversation is going to go, and it always leaves me laughing and sometimes banging my head on a hard surface.

Dad: I wanted pancakes for dinner but I wanted them savory.  More dinner like, less breakfast like,

Me: Did you put bacon or sausage in it?

Dad: Nah, I had pepper jack cheese and put about half a cup in the batter.

Me: Pepper Jack Cheese?

Dad: Yep, I didn't want it too spicy just wanted it savory.

Me: How did that turn out? 

Dad: It wasn't  that bad. The pepper jack was really subtle and you could hardly taste it.

Me: I could see how that would work some what.  I am thinking cheddar bay biscuits.  Pancakes have all the same components. 

Dad: I think that if I do it again I won't use cinnamon pancake mix. 

Alligator Lizards and Nostalgia

Vacations and nostalgia are strong motivators for laziness.  At least they are for me. They are the exact reason why I haven't been doing as much writing as I had planned.  Even as I sit here typing, I am thinking about doing something else.  I am thinking about how there are dishes in the sink and the dishwasher needs unloaded. It is almost like I don't want to be writing, but I know that I do. It just takes a bit of mental build up before I can actually accomplish anything.  In my mind it is a lot safer to do the dishes than it is to put word down, because while the dishes may or may not come back, the words will last a lot longer and worse yet, they may not even make sense.

Here I am sitting at the computer, with a stop watch going, because I have dye in my hair trying to figure out where I want to start. I still don't know, but I do know that my eyes are beginning to water from the fumes.  This post may just be a huge jumble, but at least it is a post.  Last month I went on vacation.  I went to California. I used to live there a long time ago, and it almost seems like a different planet when ever I return.  This is where the nostalgia comes in.

I love California. I never want to live there again. I know that seems like an odd thing to say, because certainly if you love something you would want to be near it all the time. When it comes to California, I would say that absence make the heart grow fonder.  When I lived in Cali, I lived near the San Bernardino Mountains. On my vacation, I stayed on the mountain.

I don't know if it because I spent most of the day breathing recycled and filtered air in a plane, but that first deep breathe I took at little of 6,000 feet elevation in Running Springs was revitalizing. The earthy pine scent with the faint sweet under currents of vanilla and citrus on the breeze. A warmth and a crispness all roll into one.  I am probably still not describing it properly.  If I could bottle that smell I would. The smell makes me want to go hiking, rock climbing and exploring. It invigorates me and makes me want to go on adventures. Thankfully I was able to indulge in adventures.

Can you find the lizard?

The Discovery Center in Big Bear was perfect for my need of adventure.  Taking to the the trails, I loved the views and wanted to take pictures of everything. I wanted to walk down every trail and see everything.  Maybe it is because the air is thinner up there than in the city, or perhaps it is just that easy to get drunk of nature.  I could spend hours trying to take pictures of alligator lizards on the rocks and reminisce about having them as pets as a small child.  I do not recommend having an alligator lizard as a pet, they are much happier in the wild and I was much happier to have them in the wild.  The cat I had as a child would whole heartily agree, seeing that one had bit her nose.

Wasn't kidding about the display

The great thing about walking around in the woods, is that it makes you think of things and there are so many things to look at.  My dad joined me on a small hike, and I am pretty sure we talked about everything from what television shows he was watching to chopping fire wood and the scat display in the ladies room.  It is amazing how much sweeter things can be when you look back, but a person can't spend their time in the past, and you have to look forwards, so that when you do look back there is something to look back at.  Adventure is so much richer when you have some one to share it with, as is life.

I could probably wax on quite a bit more about my small hike at the Discovery Center, but my timer just went off, and I should probably rinse the dye out of my hair before it really starts to burn.

Power of Suggestion

My dad came out to visit me for the winter holidays. It was great, I hadn't seen him in years, and despite being a bit under the weather, we had a great time. One morning while he was out here and over a cup of tea, he asked me about the lady doing ironing. I had no clue as to what he was referring to.  My blankness must of shown on my face, because he explained that at the foot of his bed it looked like there was a lady doing ironing.  I inquired about what she looked like, and all he could tell was that she was in a long dress and she was ironing and paying no mind to him.  I do not have any hired help at all. I do not iron if I can help it, and I certainly would not be ironing in the guest room where my father would be sleeping in the early morning. I asked him if his cloths were pressed, and sadly they were not, so we joked that she wasn't doing a very good job at ironing and we went on with our morning routine.

It is now a couple months later and I am seeing stuff out of the corner of my eye. At first I wrote it off as the cats. I have two healthy cats that some times treat the house as their own personal play ground and it would be really normal to see the cat move out the corner of my eye.  Then I noticed it started happening when the cats were not in the room or  when they were directly in front of me.  Just a little something off to the side the would move quickly and be completely out of focus.  The thoughts of the "Lady Doing Ironing" came to my mind.  And I started to think about it in more detail.

I live in an old house. It was built early 1900's and has had a fair number of occupants prior to my husband and I purchasing it. It still has a lot of original woodwork and stain glass windows along with the pocket doors and hardwood floors. I do not use the guest room that my father stayed in. I have never slept in that room the entire time I have lived here. My husband and I sleep in the room across the hall that is slightly bigger and gets the morning light.  As far as I know there is nothing wrong with the guest room. It has plenty of windows  for natural lighting and bed is comfortable seeing at it was our old bed before we upgraded to a bigger bed. The few people that have slept in the room, have normally done so out of exhaustion or out of excess of libations and aren't able to be aware of the their surroundings. The "Lady Doing Ironing" certainly could be there, but not a person would know, and my cats could care less unless the "Lady Doing Ironing" unless she turned to the "Lady That Feeds Cats"

I will admit that I am open to the suggestion of ghosts, mostly because I know that I don't know and understand everything and I am not going to in this lifetime. Who really knows if there are ghosts or displaced dimensions that over lap? I have been on several ghost tours, and I have a love for interesting history. I have never noticed anything strange about my house. No strange noises that can't be explained by cats and old hardwood floors. My dad is one of the few people that I can just talk to about all sorts of stuff including ghosts, astral travel, and parallel dimensions and not worry about offending his delicate sensibilities on religion and philosophy.  It probably comes from spending a lot of time with my dad watching the SiFi Channel and reading science fiction and history novels and just throwing a bunch of "what ifs" into our conversations.

It struck me today as to what was going on and why I was seeing things out of the corner of my eye. It was because there  really was something moving in peripheral  vision. I was in the kitchen chopping cooked chicken for a meal I was making and the cats are positioned in their usual begging positions for scraps. A couple of months ago I cut my hair fairly short to frame my face. It has been slowly growing out, and I am not to the point where I can pull it in a pony tail and have just some bangs framing my face. While I was moving around more of my hair slipped from its tie since it was still a little short to be pulled back, but I need to have my hair pulled back when cooking. I hate getting hair in my food.  It wasn't until about five minutes later that I needed to fix my hair, because it was getting in my way that I realized that what I saw was my own hair and not anything supernatural.

Part of my feels really silly, that because my dad suggested that I might have a ghost in my house, that I came up with ways to prove that he might be right and in the process spooking myself at a little bit of nothing in my own hair. The other part of me is amazed that how a small comment can get a persons mind turning in all sorts of direction and it is always the comments that you never expect that stick with you.

"The progress of the natural sciences in modern times has of course so much exceeded all expectations that any suggestion that there may be some limits to it is bound to arouse suspicion."-Friedrich August von Hayek

Choose Your Own Adventure

It is New Years Day. A day that is often used for digestion of the past years events and a stew pot of hopes and goals for the up coming year. It is a time for reflection. Every year I try to make the same resolutions. This past year I would like to think that I kept up with them pretty well, and I plan to use the same ones for 2014.  I firmly recommend these resolutions to anyone, because they are more about perspective and self growth than ego and image.

Resolutions
1. Develop a closer bond to family.

Example: 

I did not use to think that I personally had a lot of family, and the ones that I do have I am not super close to. Part of me has always wanted to have one of those that a person reads about. You know the type; quirky, lovable, reliable, loyal with a dash of angst to keep it all interesting. My family isn't that. My family is like magnets, we repel each other the closer we get.  I love them, because of their dis-function. Their dis-function has made me a better person. 

My dad has spent almost thirty years not talking to any of his siblings. This past year through long talks with my dad, I am now in contact with aunts and uncles that I vaguely was aware that existed.  While it might not be a super strong bond at this moment, it is enough of a bond that I am 93% sure that none of my new to me relatives will be stealing a kidney from me in my sleep and that I come from a line of off the wall black sheep. I am sure not every one out there has family that they have never met, that doesn't make this resolution any less worthy.  

If I had not taken the time to invest in a closer bond with my father, we would never have started talking about family or even family history. Even if I had never had additional family out there, it was really nice to hear some stories about his experiences that I have never heard before.  I recommend to everyone to take the time to have the long talks with a family member, because you never know what you are going to gain from the experience until you do.

 

2. Go on more adventures. 

Example:

I use to think that my life was boring, and nothing ever happened in it. It was true, because I never moved past my comfort zones and did anything new.  For the past couple of years I have made a point to plan some adventures, because I have found that adventures just don't happen without a little help. Or at least the good adventures don't start out with a little help.

I think that if a person wants a life of adventure they have to create it. This past year I have explored caves, thrown surprise parties, consumed foreign liquors (Yeni Raki & Cachaca to name a few), talked to strangers and made myself vulnerable with new friends. None of that would have happened if I had not made the effort to do something. Adventures come in many shapes and sizes, and can be as interesting as trying new recipes from a cook book, or as dangerous as sky diving, but they are all considered adventures and are worth doing. I recommend to everyone to do something out side of the everyday normal, because who wants to read a memoir about grocery shopping?

 

Be Real

It is that time of year where traditions reign supreme, and based off of what culture you are raised in, depends on what you celebrate.  No matter what you celebrate or don't celebrate it is undeniable that the year is winding down, while it is gearing up for a new one. That sort of energy makes people crazy. I don't think there is any way around the crazy, and I think that is why some people cling to family during this season. Not because of tradition, but because if you are going to go crazy, you want to go crazy with the same people that probably instilled that crazy in you. 

I have been doing a lot of thinking about family, and not just because my father is flying in for the holidays. (Really, I swear.) I am not super close to my family.  It isn't because I don't want to be, it is because I don't know how to. I don't know how to just be. I think, and I worry, and I obsess of small things quite neurotically. I blow things out of proportion from time to time, and if I am blowing it out of proportion, then it most likely was a small thing to begin with, because the truth is I don't like to talk about the big things.  It is so much easier to throw some drama around about something I don't care about, then to actually talk about what I do care about.

I don't think that I am alone with this sort of disconnect.  I don't want to be disconnected. I don't want to die alone with my cats going feral and eating my body to survive. (I think that would only happen if my husband died first, but I don't want to tempt fate on that.) I am trying to open a dialogue. I real dialogue, not just the scripted ones about the weather, and the non conversations with canned responses.  I am opening that dialogue with my friends, and with parts of my family, which means it is going to be messy, and emotional and all those other things that sound awful. But... It will be real. And more than anything I value real.  Being real with who you are, and what relationships you have, makes all the bad days a little hard and the good days a little brighter, but I think it is worth it. 

It is easy to get caught up in holiday madness and to grow cynical over how fake it can be, and how over whelming it can be to try and get everything accomplished.  I am no saint, and I am probably not always the best person I can be  at any time of the year, but I urge everyone to develop relationships that are real. Create a real bond, and do what traditions feel real to you and have worth to you, or better yet create your own traditions.  Someone once said, "What you allow, will continue." I think that is so incredibly true when it comes to communication and relationships. 

It isn't New Years. It isn't a holiday today (that I am aware of.)  It is just today, but what I want is a better relationship and a more real relationship with some of the people in my life. To do that, I have to be real myself. Good luck world, and happy holidays. 

Tuning into Darwin's Radio

Last year for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) I wrote about books that influenced my life in one way or another. I had near a hundred books that I talked about in my mini novella. I came to a realization that not only do I use books to escape from reality, but I use books as a way to connect with other people, most particularly I use books to be able to communicate with my parents.

I don't communicate well. I am at best passive aggressive. I don't like to rock the boat.  I  am not one to enjoy larges amounts of drama.  I don't think I have ever seen a family that hasn't rocked the boat, that isn't aggressive and that has mastered the avoidance of drama. My family is unconventional and full of anxiety and mood swings. The thing that we can do and do very well is read. My mother is a huge reader and so is my father, and when we need to find something to fill silence, we resort to one thing.

"What are you reading?"

My dad lives in California. I do not. I don't keep up on California politics. I don't read the LA Times and I don't really miss the air quality warnings, and the 9% sales tax. I sometimes miss the excitement of an earthquake, but not the chaos of the aftermath of a big quake. I do miss my dad. We don't get to see each other that often, but when we do we try to make the most of it, which is why it is so important to me that we talk on the phone often.

" The flat afternoon sky spread over the black and gray mountains like a stage backdrop, the color of a dog's pale crazy eye."

My dad recommended this book to me, Darwin's Radio by Greg Bear.  He went on about this book for months. I honestly have never read anything by Greg Bear, so it was foreign territory for me, but it sounded interesting.  Then one day it showed up in the mail. It was a hardback book, that had a library code on the jacket cover, and then another library stamp on the inside.  I love getting books in the mail, but for a small moment, I had to wonder if my father was a book thief. Did he steal this book from the library, because he thought I would like it? It was an autographed copy of the book that was in pretty good condition for being in a library. After a little bit of research I discovered, it was just a library book sale that my dad took advantage of to get one of his favorite books.  I did not dive into the book right away. I had other stuff on the night stand to read and that I was in the middle of.

"Bacteria made us. They take us back in the end. Welcome  home."

I am on vacation. It is beautiful  on vacation, and I have time to read.  I brought the book with me. I don't know if I am going to like it. I don't think that I will hate it, but it isn't my usual cup of tea. I just started it and am not more then two dozen pages in, but is makes me think and not in a bad way.  I can't wait to finish it, just so that I have yet one more thing to talk to my dad about, and in a small way feel a little bit closer to him despite our distance apart.