I am a Pizza

This weeks Prompt:  If you were going to design a pizza after yourself, what would be on it, and what would each of those ingredients represent.

I know that I picked this weeks writing prompt, but the more that I look at the questions, the more it begins to feel like a Caliper Interview question.

I feel a little ridiculous that I spent as much time thinking about this question as I did.  I have probably asked my husband half a dozen times what he what type of pizza would I be. I was running the gambit on toppings and what they could possibly symbolize. If I said extra cheese does that mean to imply that I think I am cheesy? If I said spicy sausage, does it become an innuendo to something more? The line of thought moved onto the best pizzas I have ever eaten and what was on them.  I have had pizzas that have had peaches on them, and other that are more taco than pizza.  Then I thought about shows that I watched that talk about pizza. (If Ugly Delicious doesn’t make you want to eat a pizza, nothing will.) There is so much symbolism when it comes to food and food shows love to talk about it. However, it still did not answer the question on what type of pizza I would be. 

It then came to me. 

I knew I wouldn’t be a traditional pizza. There is nothing wrong with a traditional pepperoni or cheese pizza. Millions of people love them and they are a standard at any pizza party.  I personally am an introvert. Parties are something that are fine every now and then, but I wouldn’t’ want to be at one all the time the way a pepperoni pizza is. 

I would be breakfast pizza.  It would cover all the aspects of my personality. The cheesy, the salty, the starchy and a little bit of spicy, but over all filling and full of protein. A pizza that is a little unique but not outside the spectrum of normal. 

Breakfast Pizza: Hashbrown crust topped with scrambled eggs, cheese, peppers and diced ham. 

Grandpa's Cheese Barn

When you say the Grandpa's Cheese Barn, you are either mentally conjuring up a dilapidated old red barn that might be missing a few boards, with a couple of cow roaming around outside and looking a little sketchy or you are thinking about one of the hidden gems of Ohio.

Not Sketchy and Not a Red Barn!

Grandpa's Cheese Barn is like someone read my diary and discovered the way to my heart was through tourist attractions, cheese products and fart jokes. Grandpa's Cheese Barn in Ashland, Ohio covers all three.  Their mascot might be my new favorite mouse mascot.   The facility is neat and orderly and full of humor and food.  There was a little something for everyone there, even if cheese isn't your thing. (I am not judging, we have some dairy intolerant individuals in my family.)  

Colby! Perfect mascot name!

There were samples of  most items, which is extremely effective in convincing a person to try something, and the prices were modest. My husband totally decided he needed to come home with teriyaki beef jerky after a single sample. One of my favorite sections aside from the cheese, tea, jerky, snack food and chocolates, is the gift shop. I love a good gift shop, and the cheesier the items the better.  Their gift shop has a wide variety of shirts and other sundry items.  The thing that stole the show for me were the post cards. 

Some lucky people are getting this postcard from me!

I know that sending physical mail is an archaic form of communication, but I love it.  I love sending mail, I love receiving mail. When a gift shop has post cards, that is one of the first things I check out.  Postcards are a wonderful souvenir to remember where you have been, and often times have a picture on it that is way better then I could have taken.   Grandpa's Cheese Barn did not fail me.  They had their signature joke on their postcard and a postcard with their mousey mascot. It was a double win for me.  I picked up at least half a dozen postcards to send, mixed in with the cheese curds I couldn't live without and tea, jerky, t-shirt and soap that needed to be rescued.  The only thing that I couldn't not find in the gift shop were magnets. They might have been there, but I honestly think I was a bit distracted with amount of excitement I had coursing through me.  Grandpa's Cheese Barn is a dream.  It is one of those places that you thought was made up for television and then realize that this is better than any TV fantasy. T

If you happen to be in Ohio and see and exit for Grandpa's Cheese Barn, I would recommend stopping. The cheesy goodness that oozes out of that place is beyond belief!

Haikus about Cheese

I was challenged by Faye on Twitter to write poetry on cheese, because there isn’t enough poetry about cheeses in the world.  Here are four haikus about four different cheese.  Please enjoy. 

Haiku’s about Cheese

Flowers of Rajya

Wheels of a yaks blessings

Bamboo basket gift

Crumbled Feta dream

Cranberry pecan chicken

Salad order up

El Queso blanco 

The subtle ingredient

Stealth flavor binder

Colby melting fun

The binding of bread together

Companion to soup

Broccoli Salad

Gardening and Broccoli Salad make up Summer. 

One of my favorite foods is broccoli salad. I know that sounds weird, but there is something about the crunch, the tang and the savory all mixed together that I absolutely love.  Nothing makes me think of summer and good times like eating a bowl of broccoli salad.

Recently I was talking with my niece, Hailey and she was trying to put her preferred preferences at the top of the menu for the next time she came to visit.  I am a planner, but seeing as that I don't have solidified dates for her next visit, this felt a little presumptuous.  It is kind of like calling shotgun for the ten car rides in the future. It is just a little far to plan in advance. However I was curious as to what was on her preferred menu. No surprise, she wanted ham loaf and avocado chocolate mousse. The thing that did surprise me, was the request for broccoli salad.  I thought kids weren't supposed to like broccoli. I feel like this is a further case that she is really my clone. 

Since I do not have a set date for her next visit, but I do not want to deny her the joys of broccoli salad, I decided to share my recipe for my favorite addiction. My friend, Lizzy had originally given me the recipe (which I am forever grateful), and I have made a few small tweaks based off of my preferences.

Broccoli Salad-

1. 1 Head of Broccoli cut into small florets
2. 1 Head of Cauliflower cut into small florets
3. 1/2 Red Onion diced
4. 1 Cup diced cooked bacon- (I have cheated and bought Real Bacon Crumbs and they taste fine.)
5. 1 Cup Shredded Cheese-(I like Cheddar, but mixed cheeses works also.)
6. 1/2 Cup Dried Cherries
7. 1/2 Cup Dried Cranberries
8. 1 Cup Mayonnaise (Don't use Miracle Whip- The flavor is off.)
9. 1/2 Cup White Sugar
10. 2 Tablespoons of Apple Cider Vinegar

Combine first seven ingredients in a large bowl or a gallon sized bag. I prefer to do a gallon sized bag, because it normally I am taking it with me somewhere.  In a small bowl, mix the last three ingredients until smooth.  Mix the sauce into bowl or bag.  If you are in a bowl, stir well to make sure everything is evenly glazed.  If you put it in a bag, seal the bag (double check that it really did seal) and then pretend it is Shake N Bake and shake it all around.  When you think you are done, shake it some more. Everything should be covered in the glaze.  Put the broccoli salad in the fridge and let it chill for two hours.  Once it is chilled, chow down.

Side note for Hailey- Your does not have the cheese in it for obvious reasons. Double check your mayo and make sure there isn't any dairy in the ingredients. Other then those two items, this is that salad you had last summer.  Enjoy!

Turkey Bundles

It has been four days since Thanksgiving and I have consumed a Thanksgiving burrito every day. (I am not ashamed, just stating fact.)  It is time to do something with the leftover turkey that does not involve wrapping it in a tortilla.  It is time to make the old family favorite, Turkey Bundles. 

Old Family Favorite 

Turkey Bundles or sometimes Chicken Bundles is one of the staples of my childhood. It was probably one of the first recipes I ever learned and it is one of those recipes that I could probably make blind folded with a spork if my survival depended on it. It is one of those recipes that my mother would trot out for company, because it was easy to make yet unique.   I am not sure where the original recipe came from, and I know that I have seen several variations in Taste of Home, but this is my recipe that I use.  It has been slightly modified to the current household tastes and if you check back with me in ten years, I am sure that there will be even more changes. 

Turkey Bundles

2 Cups- Cooked chunked Turkey

1 ½ Cream Cheese of 8oz Package (total of 12 ounces) Room Temperature

Handful of rough chopped spinach (about 1/3 cup)

½ Cup Mushrooms (They are optional. My husband hates mushrooms, but I love them.)

¼ diced hot peppers or green chili peppers

¼ cup shredded carrots

Salt and pepper

¼ diced onions

1 tablespoon diced garlic

2 tubes of Instant crescent rolls

Bread crumbs

Melted butter or olive oil

Heat the oven to 350 degrees.  In a small sauté pan, cook the carrots, onions, peppers and garlic in a little bit of oil or butter until soft. Once soft, remove from heat and set aside. In a large bowl mix turkey, cream cheese, mushrooms, and spinach until well blended, then add the cooked carrot mix.  I do the cooked part second because it can make the cream cheese a little melty and hard to handle.  Add salt and pepper to taste. (If you are my husband, this is where you add a dollop of hot sauce.) 

Open the tube of crescent rolls and break them apart.  They should be little triangles. You will want to stretch the triangles a little bit and until it is almost double its size.  Take two heaping tablespoons of the turkey and cream cheese mix and put it in the center of the triangle. Use the corners of the triangle to wrap it. It should look like a bundle or a diaper.  Normally this recipe is going to make about a dozen bundles depending on how much your fill the bundle.  When all the bundles are assembled, brush the top with olive oil or butter and sprinkle with bread crumbs.   The bundles get baked on a cookie sheet for 25 minutes or until golden brown.

Notes to Self

Sometimes I leave notes to myself.  It is supposed to help me remember things. Mostly I think my  past self is confusing my future self or I should be a little more specific when I leave myself a note.

After all if I am going to leave myself a note that says, "Juggling flaming bags of dog shit. Even if you don't catch on fire, you are still covered in shit. " I should probably follow it up with something specific are at least accredit the quote to someone. Nope. My past self just thought that I would know what I was doing.

Another note just says, "P&P flipped". I have no idea if that was supposed to be writing prompt or perhaps a gift idea. My past self doesn't seem to be very wordy, except with grocery lists.  That note is going to just sit there until I can figure out what I was trying to tell myself.

Even the grocery lists tend to be a little off.  They start of with normal stuff and then slowly turn into something almost sinister:

Milk
Spinach
Eggs
Cheese
Lunch meat
Sliced cheese
Tortillas
Cat food
Duck tape
Lighter
Black bags
Gloves

The beginning of the list looks like I am going to make breaks fast or lunch burritos and then it looks like I am going to dispose of a body.  My past self sure knew how to multi task and make things awkward for the future self.  I guess if I want to change it, I should probably leave myself a detailed note, so I don't keep leaving book titles, abbreviations and weird lists to myself, because that s what a normal person would do.

Savoring Conversations

I love having conversations with my father. Having a conversation with my father at times is like waiting for a comedian to deliver a punch line.  I never know where the conversation is going to go, and it always leaves me laughing and sometimes banging my head on a hard surface.

Dad: I wanted pancakes for dinner but I wanted them savory.  More dinner like, less breakfast like,

Me: Did you put bacon or sausage in it?

Dad: Nah, I had pepper jack cheese and put about half a cup in the batter.

Me: Pepper Jack Cheese?

Dad: Yep, I didn't want it too spicy just wanted it savory.

Me: How did that turn out? 

Dad: It wasn't  that bad. The pepper jack was really subtle and you could hardly taste it.

Me: I could see how that would work some what.  I am thinking cheddar bay biscuits.  Pancakes have all the same components. 

Dad: I think that if I do it again I won't use cinnamon pancake mix. 

Poland and Ireland on a Plate

I think that winter is made for eating a sleeping. Since I am not allowed to hibernate through the winter, it is only logical that I spend way more time eating than I probably should. I did a mental tally of the cookbooks that I still have to utilize before June 30^th for this Cookbook Challenge, and I am still behind. It doesn’t matter that I may have acquired several for the Christmas holiday, I should still be further ahead than I am. It also doesn’t help that when I walk into a book store, I am drawn like a magnet to a lodestone to the cookbook section.

In an attempt to make some head way on the books that I already have, I have started to use multiple cookbooks at one time for a meal.  This has mixed results. Not bad results, but mixed, because some where I forget to take a picture of something and then debate on if it is esthetically pleasing to take pictures of food glopped together on my dinner plate.   In the end I suppose it doesn’t matter because it is all going to end up in my stomach in the end. (Insert evil cackle here.)

The Bermingham House

Every Wednesday we have was I dubbed as “Nerd Night” at my house. This is where my husband a long with a motley assortment of friends and family come over and eat food, watch a really bad movie and discuss a variety of off the wall topics. My part of this is has to do with the “eat food”. I prepare the food, which makes them the perfect subjects for experimental recipes in this challenge. This past Wednesday they had the pleasure of a mixed culture faire, where Poland met Ireland on the dinner plate and no potatoes were harmed in the process.  Literally there were no potatoes harmed in the process.

Scanning the cooks books I found a lovely stuffed tomato recipe called Mushroom stuffed Tomatoes in my Best of Polish Cooking compiled by Karen West that seemed like it was meant to be a natural side dish for Bermingham Chicken out of my Irish Countryhouse Cooking by Rosie Tinne. I am pretty sure that there is no such thing as a normal recipe. As I scanned the ingredients for the chicken disk, I realized that two slices of ham is a lot of ham. I am not sure if the slices they are talking about in the recipe are the inch thick slices that I picked up at the grocery store or if they were talking about sandwich thin slices. I decided to face it and to use just one large ham slice and cube it instead of two slices and lay them flat at the bottom of my fireproof dish. (The recipe was very specific that I used a fireproof dish, I am going to assume that all of my bake ware if fire proof, because why else would it be able to go in the oven?) Other than the slight confusion with the ham, the overall result of the dish was somewhat like an inside out Chicken Cordon Bleu.  Ham and Chicken are meant to be meaty friends in a cheese sauce. 

The Stuffed Tomatoes were not trouble free as I had hoped they would be.  I thought that I would have issues with coring a tomato and filling it.  That was actually easy.  If anything out of this whole challenge I am building some culinary skills and am a lot more confident wielding knives.  The trouble that I had with the tomatoes was the ingredients that were not listed.  There came a spot in the instructions where it told me to add onion and sauté.  I had no problem adding onion, if the onions were listed in the ingredients to begin with. I ended up scrambling to dice an onion to add to the mix.  Then at the end of the instructions it said to add spices.  I had already added salt and pepper and there were no other spices listed, so I wasn’t sure if this is where I was to get funky with the tomato or not. I just settled for more salt and pepper and hopped that it turned out well. 

Overall both recipes did not cause bodily harm to any of the tasters.  Some suggestions of adding rice to either dish came about, but if that was the only thing I would consider this a success and can cross both of the cookbooks off of my list. It is often amazing how it doesn't matter where food is from, that when it is done well it doesn't matter what is paired with what. It is a wonderful medley in the mouth. 

Fall CSA: Week One

November has come and gone, and I for one am thankful. I love November. It is the one month where I purposely drive myself a little nuts and spend hours obsessing over imaginary beings. Every November, for the past six years, I have participated in NaNoWriMo.  I laugh, I cry and I debate on killing off characters, just to move the story along, and when all else fails I write about food.  This year’s story had me working on my word count until the second to last day, which means I was remiss in my blogging duties, along with a lot of other duties.  The first week of December is my catch up week, and then the rest of life resumes and I realize how behind I am in everything else and start to panic. Deep breathing exercises are wonderful.

In my enlightened creative state of mind of the NaNo zone, I agreed to be part of a fall CSA that started in December.  Every week for the next several weeks I will be receiving fall and winter produce. In my brain this sounded like a really good idea.  I would get a bunch of root vegetables that I could use at my leisure.  At least that is the way that it played out in my head.  That is not the case.

Week One- Two Red Onions,  One bigger than my head Chinese Cabbage, one Acorn Squash, winter greens, a baker’s dozen of sweet potatoes and a half dozen red apples.

While there were potatoes in the mix, I had completely forgotten that squash is a winter supplemental, and Acorn Squash is a new territory for me.  I don’t consider myself a chicken when it comes to trying new food, but I sometimes need a little bit of prodding. I like squash for the most part, or at least that is what I told myself as I chopped it in half, scooped out the seeds and baked it until it was squishy, and then ate it. It was good.  I would not have guessed that it would be a cross between a sweet potato and a butternut squash; I was expecting a nuttier flavor, like Swiss cheese. I hate Swiss cheese, and a Swiss Cheese flavored squash sounds horrible to me. Thankfully Acorn Squash doesn’t taste like that.  I feel like I passed a week one challenge, by eating the Acorn Squash and am now ready for the Week Two box.  Or at least I think I am ready.

Fettuccine Alfredo is Just Fancy Buttered Noodles

Dib the Cat

After a long weekend filled with anxiety over the Dib cat and his stay in the Animal Trauma unit, it took me a little bit to get back into the saddle of wanting to cook.  My husband had a great idea that I could distract myself by trying a new recipe while Dib was in the care of professionals to remove the almost 4 feet of string he ate.  I could not concentrate on any of the recipes.  All I could think about was how if the Dib the Cat was with me, he would be royal pain, by trying to eat the corner of the book and walking all over the stack of cookbooks.  He is a constant companion when you least want it, and he is cute so it gets away with it. Thankfully when Dib came back in piece and without the need to go under the knife, my energy and desire to cook reappeared.

To celebrate the return of my spoiled but oh so charming furry friend, I knocked out two cookbooks from The Challenge.  The cookbooks that I used are the following: The New Good Housekeeping Cookbook and Light Cooking Italian.   The New Good Housekeeping Cookbook is about three inches thick while the Light Cooking Italian barely has 94 pages to it. Both of the cookbooks came from my mother and were not ones that she recommended, but I had taken them because I thought how bad could they be, they were cookbooks.

The New Good Housekeeping Cookbook is a really good cookbook. There are lots of recipes in it, and the instructions are easy to follow. I think that what would turn a lot of people off of this cookbook, is that it is built like a dictionary. It will tell you about the ingredient and give you a recipe or two to go with it, but not a picture. Most cookbooks are all about the pictures and often times have one with every recipe or every couple of recipes.  The New Good Housekeeping Cookbook has only a thin grouping of pictures in the center of the book and that is it.  The rest of the book expects the cook to be able to read and follow instructions. I can do that.

Out of The New Good Housekeeping Cookbook I made Fettuccine Alfredo (found on page 326). I have come to the conclusion that Fettuccine Alfredo is the grown up version of buttered noodles and cheese. Any college student or person with limited cooking ability can make buttered noodles. All it is is cooked noodles with butter and Parmesan cheese. Fettuccine Alfredo is just adding cream to that buttered noodle classic and really did not feel like I was cooking anything special at all. Did it taste good? Oh yeah. I love buttered noodles, so adding cream did nothing to distract or add to a taste that I already enjoyed.  It was an easy recipe that had all the earmarks of comfort that I needed after a tense weekend of worry.

Now I wish that I loved the Light Cooking Italian cookbook as much as I loved the New Good Housekeeping Cookbook.  I really wish I could say that, but in all honesty, I do not love Light Cooking Italian at all. In fact I kind of wish it had been loaned to a friend and never returned.  There were not a lot of recipes that sounded remotely appetizing to me. Every page had reminders of how many calories and how much a serving size should be, and in a way felt like it was belittling me and my abilities to eat like a sensible adult. I like Italian food and when I think of Italian food, I think if rich vibrant flavors, good wine and pasta in fabulous shapes. For this being an Italian cookbook there was very little pasta  and it made me sad.  However, Light Cooking Italian was in my cookbook arsenal and I had to pick a recipe. When all else fails, make a dessert is my motto.

I had four choices for a dessert, Minted Pears with Gorgonzola, Polenta Apricot Pudding Cake, Tiramisu or Orange Thyme Granita in Cookie Cups.   For me, there were only two choices, since coffee and pears are not something I enjoy. (You do not want to hear my rant against pears.) Deciding that I didn't really didn't want to attempt anything with Anise in it, because a little anise flavor is good but a lot of it is bad. Or at least bad for me.  Polenta Apricot Pudding Cake won by default (page 86).

Looks just like the picture in the book.

I liked the cake. It was dense. It tasted mostly like Apricots, and since apricots aren't a normal in my house it was  welcome change. It was a middle of the road dessert, but was a wonderful vehicle for Chai Honey that was give to me as a gift. The subtle flavors of the honey worked well with the sweetness of the dried apricots.  Will I make it again? I don't know. It didn't wow me, but it didn't repeal me.   I don't know if that one recipe is enough to make me want to keep this cookbook. This book will probably live a life of neglect on my bookshelf for the rest of its days unless someone wants to borrow it, because I have several other pasta and Italian cookbooks in my library.