Today's Good Things:
A bit of extra sleep
A few things on the list accomplished
Stacked wood with my boys
Rejoicing in the Lord's answer to prayer
Today's Not So Good Things:
Craving sugar in a big way - too much chocolate
Battling sickness
We're fighting head colds here. I am just moving so slow and feeling miserable. Baby is nursing well in spite of feeling poorly. More frequently, though, and our nights are still broken. I should have aimed for a nap today, but worked with the children on some choring and christmas gifts instead. I feel pretty good that I spent some time with them today. I'm looking forward to a restful night and day tomorrow. Praying my head feels better soon.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
12/12/12 - Last Chance
Today is a unique day. The last day we'll ever be able to match a month/day/year for another 100 years. Guess I'll take this as a good sign to get back on track with my health and life goals. It feels like it's been 100 years ago that I was here. *rolls eyes*
This past fall I had my gall bladder out. The surgery went better than I expected and I was up and moving fairly normal by the second week. I can eat normally now with the exception of some foods that leave me feeling poorly. Most of those are foods I should avoid anyways.
That recovery season did a number on me emotionally, though. That and the sleep deprivation I am dealing with right now due to baby's poor habits has me in and out of some pretty dark emotional funks. The last few months has left me struggling to just do the next thing most days. Sleep deprivation is horrible, especially when you feel trapped by it. My husband has been working hard to help me get extra rest when possible, but it's a season that drives me to my knees. Or, at least it should.
I've gained weight, I can tell by the fit of my clothes. That's depressing enough. I find little time or motivation to exercise right now, feeling a bit overwhelmed by keeping up with schooling and housework. However, a good friend of mine and I are committing to putting our health in higher priority so that we can be better for our families. We've started an accountability time and have made some goals for ourselves. Mine are as follows:
>Taking supplements and vitamins daily (started St. John's Wort recently, 5 capsules to start and back off when I see improvement in mood)
>Better focus on nutrition and water intake (I desparately need to up my water intake)
>Add in exercise: I'm working on a walk with my son after lunch daily and a walk with my oldest daughter after dinner daily.
>Focus on daily bible reading, journaling, prayer time, and book reading - morning and evening
>Relationship building with certain family members
>Review and study Super Mom vs. Abiding Mom chart
It's been 2 weeks since I made that list. I've made some improvements in a few areas, but I have a long way to go. They are good goals. I'm embarrassed that they are so simple, yet so hard to meet right now. However, I need to just press on and I'm thankful to have something I'm aiming for at least.
This coming season, I just want to recapture the DESIRE I once had to take care of myself and CARE about how I feel and what direction I am heading. Right now I simply battle such a terrible feeling of complacency, it's causing real damage. I need to keep turning my heart to the Lord and growing in a greater sense of worship to Him so that I can see my heart change. I am learning, in bits and pieces, that each battle I face is truly a result of a crisis of worship I have in my life.
Please pray I would see the Lord at work and I would join Him in what He is doing in my life.
This past fall I had my gall bladder out. The surgery went better than I expected and I was up and moving fairly normal by the second week. I can eat normally now with the exception of some foods that leave me feeling poorly. Most of those are foods I should avoid anyways.
That recovery season did a number on me emotionally, though. That and the sleep deprivation I am dealing with right now due to baby's poor habits has me in and out of some pretty dark emotional funks. The last few months has left me struggling to just do the next thing most days. Sleep deprivation is horrible, especially when you feel trapped by it. My husband has been working hard to help me get extra rest when possible, but it's a season that drives me to my knees. Or, at least it should.
I've gained weight, I can tell by the fit of my clothes. That's depressing enough. I find little time or motivation to exercise right now, feeling a bit overwhelmed by keeping up with schooling and housework. However, a good friend of mine and I are committing to putting our health in higher priority so that we can be better for our families. We've started an accountability time and have made some goals for ourselves. Mine are as follows:
>Taking supplements and vitamins daily (started St. John's Wort recently, 5 capsules to start and back off when I see improvement in mood)
>Better focus on nutrition and water intake (I desparately need to up my water intake)
>Add in exercise: I'm working on a walk with my son after lunch daily and a walk with my oldest daughter after dinner daily.
>Focus on daily bible reading, journaling, prayer time, and book reading - morning and evening
>Relationship building with certain family members
>Review and study Super Mom vs. Abiding Mom chart
It's been 2 weeks since I made that list. I've made some improvements in a few areas, but I have a long way to go. They are good goals. I'm embarrassed that they are so simple, yet so hard to meet right now. However, I need to just press on and I'm thankful to have something I'm aiming for at least.
This coming season, I just want to recapture the DESIRE I once had to take care of myself and CARE about how I feel and what direction I am heading. Right now I simply battle such a terrible feeling of complacency, it's causing real damage. I need to keep turning my heart to the Lord and growing in a greater sense of worship to Him so that I can see my heart change. I am learning, in bits and pieces, that each battle I face is truly a result of a crisis of worship I have in my life.
Please pray I would see the Lord at work and I would join Him in what He is doing in my life.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Thursday August 30, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Busy and productive day. Was on my feet and moving except for nursings.
Good choices on meals.
Family walk tonight even though I am t.i.r.e.d.
Made dinner for the fam all on my lonesome. :)
Logged & blogged
Today's Not So Good Things:
Draaaagin' this morning. Didn't get rolling until almost 10am!!
Today was good, even though I started like a slug. I was movin and shakin afa cleaning and cooking and directing children. I felt good. When I rested, I rested knowing I had earned a good sit down and enjoyed it. After dinner tonight I dragged myself out for a good family walk, almost 30 min worth, I think. It's so beautiful out these last two days. Feeling like fall already.
Tomorrow my husband is home from work and I'm hoping we can get some more moving, cleaning, and organizing done. I really enjoy working on our house so much. I like the results and I like that it keeps me physically active.
I ended my day under on calories. My hubby just brought up a plate of nachos. I'll probably regret eating the chips b/c of my gall bladder, but I can't resist the gesture. A fun way to start our long weekend.
It's a long weekend and I hope we have a great time with it!!
Busy and productive day. Was on my feet and moving except for nursings.
Good choices on meals.
Family walk tonight even though I am t.i.r.e.d.
Made dinner for the fam all on my lonesome. :)
Logged & blogged
Today's Not So Good Things:
Draaaagin' this morning. Didn't get rolling until almost 10am!!
Today was good, even though I started like a slug. I was movin and shakin afa cleaning and cooking and directing children. I felt good. When I rested, I rested knowing I had earned a good sit down and enjoyed it. After dinner tonight I dragged myself out for a good family walk, almost 30 min worth, I think. It's so beautiful out these last two days. Feeling like fall already.
Tomorrow my husband is home from work and I'm hoping we can get some more moving, cleaning, and organizing done. I really enjoy working on our house so much. I like the results and I like that it keeps me physically active.
I ended my day under on calories. My hubby just brought up a plate of nachos. I'll probably regret eating the chips b/c of my gall bladder, but I can't resist the gesture. A fun way to start our long weekend.
It's a long weekend and I hope we have a great time with it!!
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Wednesday August 29, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Baby and I BOTH slept through the night
Increased water intake...8-9 16oz glasses today
Ttapp'd
Good choices on my meals
Today's Not So Good Things:
Cookies in the house. Still can't say no. :(
A little too much computer time
I'm working on some planning and prepping for school this week and next. We've had some bad attitudes, so we're struggling a bit with keeping those in check. That creates stress and I'm still in this awful Stress-Eat habit. Sigh. I need to go back to finding a healthy way to deal with the stress. A walk, hoe-down, stretch, something.
We moved some furniture tonight. I've got a lot of cleaning and organizing to do tomorrow too. I need to get up and get moving though, afa exercise. I need to make a morning walk or outing with the children a regular part of the day. I feel like I'm recreating what was good before except it's all new because of our new location. To be honest, I'm uncomfortable walking alone in these parts so I've got to get a new groove of some kind. Today felt an awful lot like fall which is making me want to be OUTSIDE before it's too cold to do it.
Baby and I BOTH slept through the night
Increased water intake...8-9 16oz glasses today
Ttapp'd
Good choices on my meals
Today's Not So Good Things:
Cookies in the house. Still can't say no. :(
A little too much computer time
I'm working on some planning and prepping for school this week and next. We've had some bad attitudes, so we're struggling a bit with keeping those in check. That creates stress and I'm still in this awful Stress-Eat habit. Sigh. I need to go back to finding a healthy way to deal with the stress. A walk, hoe-down, stretch, something.
We moved some furniture tonight. I've got a lot of cleaning and organizing to do tomorrow too. I need to get up and get moving though, afa exercise. I need to make a morning walk or outing with the children a regular part of the day. I feel like I'm recreating what was good before except it's all new because of our new location. To be honest, I'm uncomfortable walking alone in these parts so I've got to get a new groove of some kind. Today felt an awful lot like fall which is making me want to be OUTSIDE before it's too cold to do it.
Another progress report
Today has me 2.5 inches down. That's cool.
However, I'm unsure about measuring and don't really trust it. I feel like I need a sharpie marker to mark where I measured from last time. Seems like a lot of room for user error. At least with me. I'm going to look around for some info on getting the most accurate measurements.
Still happy to see a tiny little part of me disappeared. I didn't want that part anyways. ;)
However, I'm unsure about measuring and don't really trust it. I feel like I need a sharpie marker to mark where I measured from last time. Seems like a lot of room for user error. At least with me. I'm going to look around for some info on getting the most accurate measurements.
Still happy to see a tiny little part of me disappeared. I didn't want that part anyways. ;)
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Progress...slowly
Not much time for my usual report. Not that I've been good about reporting anyways.
David and I started Ttapp-ing together. He challenged us to work together to lose 2lbs per week. That is a lot for me, I think, especially with nursing, but it's not going to hurt to work towards it at least.
My last weigh in was 13 days ago and I've lost 3 pounds since then. Yay. David weighed in tonight after our first week of the challenge and is also down 3 pounds. Double Yay!
I'm measuring tomorrow. I was SHOCKED to see a loss tonight. I haven't been working very hard on my diet and Ttapp doesn't usually help you drop weight as much as inches. Now I'm nervous about weighing in, thinking it will be disappointing. Either way, though, I'm feeling stronger. I have more energy in the day and I'm sleeping a bit better at night, though my insomnia is still giving me trouble a few nights this past week. So, several goals have been met even if the tape doesn't show it in the morning.
Now that I saw a loss, I'm re-motivated to work harder at my diet and water intake. I'm SO thankful he's willing to work on this with me. Not only do we both need it, but we keep each other from giving up...I hope!
David and I started Ttapp-ing together. He challenged us to work together to lose 2lbs per week. That is a lot for me, I think, especially with nursing, but it's not going to hurt to work towards it at least.
My last weigh in was 13 days ago and I've lost 3 pounds since then. Yay. David weighed in tonight after our first week of the challenge and is also down 3 pounds. Double Yay!
I'm measuring tomorrow. I was SHOCKED to see a loss tonight. I haven't been working very hard on my diet and Ttapp doesn't usually help you drop weight as much as inches. Now I'm nervous about weighing in, thinking it will be disappointing. Either way, though, I'm feeling stronger. I have more energy in the day and I'm sleeping a bit better at night, though my insomnia is still giving me trouble a few nights this past week. So, several goals have been met even if the tape doesn't show it in the morning.
Now that I saw a loss, I'm re-motivated to work harder at my diet and water intake. I'm SO thankful he's willing to work on this with me. Not only do we both need it, but we keep each other from giving up...I hope!
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Thinking Ahead...
Okay, so this coming week will look different than last. My time won't be spent on teaching as heavily as it was last week. I'd like to plan in a time for exercise for all of us, but myself in particular. I've really been wanting to start back up with my Ttapp video. I'm going to make it a goal next week to try a few different times during the day to use it and see which seems best. I'm also going to join my husband on the prayer walks we've started in the evenings after the little ones are in bed. It's such a lovely time to be out together in the summer and we can exercise our spirits and bodies while we pray together.
I'm hoping to work on my water intake. My food choices have been pretty decent since I can't eat a whole lot right now anyways. I DO need to make a priority of calling this week to schedule a meeting with the surgeon regarding my gall bladder. Blech.
My other goal for the week is to get our library in order. I know that will keep me moving, as I have a lot of organizing and still some unpacking to do in there. So, other than it being Math Week, it'll be Library Week as well. ;)
It's always fun to think of how great you are going to do in the days ahead. Just pray for me that I can continue to get the lovely rest Kindred's been giving, the delicious time in the word both morning and evening, and stay focused on keeping my eyes, hands, and body in the right direction.
I'm hoping to work on my water intake. My food choices have been pretty decent since I can't eat a whole lot right now anyways. I DO need to make a priority of calling this week to schedule a meeting with the surgeon regarding my gall bladder. Blech.
My other goal for the week is to get our library in order. I know that will keep me moving, as I have a lot of organizing and still some unpacking to do in there. So, other than it being Math Week, it'll be Library Week as well. ;)
It's always fun to think of how great you are going to do in the days ahead. Just pray for me that I can continue to get the lovely rest Kindred's been giving, the delicious time in the word both morning and evening, and stay focused on keeping my eyes, hands, and body in the right direction.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Crazy, wondeful week
This week has been good. I didn't exercise (formally). I haven't logged on mfp. I've barely thought about diet and fitness and such. So, how can that be good?
I've been busy schooling my children and it's been a treat. Not because it's been easy. Not because we've had great attitudes the whole time. (mine included) But, because I've focused on this as the THING that needs to be important and nothing else. I've allowed myself to do one thing well, and..well, I'm doing it. :)
I'm allowing myself to still sleep in in the mornings. I'm working on being more cheerful when greeted with the morning crabbies. We're getting started when we get started and just focusing in the learning and not the clock. I've seen some great improvements in relationships with my older children. I'm still working on how to include and handle the younger ones and find that balance, though.
I've also begun a new course of morning and evening devotions. That has been amazing and transforming, to say the least.
This doesn't have anything to do with health, you say? Oh, in every way it does. The stress and emotional strain I battle with relationships is directly tied to my eating, exercise, sleeping, and activity habits and triggers. I'm thankful for a week of getting myself on track in the areas that matter most.
I've been busy schooling my children and it's been a treat. Not because it's been easy. Not because we've had great attitudes the whole time. (mine included) But, because I've focused on this as the THING that needs to be important and nothing else. I've allowed myself to do one thing well, and..well, I'm doing it. :)
I'm allowing myself to still sleep in in the mornings. I'm working on being more cheerful when greeted with the morning crabbies. We're getting started when we get started and just focusing in the learning and not the clock. I've seen some great improvements in relationships with my older children. I'm still working on how to include and handle the younger ones and find that balance, though.
I've also begun a new course of morning and evening devotions. That has been amazing and transforming, to say the least.
This doesn't have anything to do with health, you say? Oh, in every way it does. The stress and emotional strain I battle with relationships is directly tied to my eating, exercise, sleeping, and activity habits and triggers. I'm thankful for a week of getting myself on track in the areas that matter most.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Rested
Spent the day resting. No naps but did sleep in. No guilt. Just letting myself be the momma of a newborn and enjoy it again.
Did okay with eating. I've been feeling "off" all day, suspecting my gall bladder is acting up again. Extremely gassy, though I haven't eaten any offending foods.
Not much else to report. Just trying to push my way through these weird days. One up another down. Wish I could find a place of consistency.
Did okay with eating. I've been feeling "off" all day, suspecting my gall bladder is acting up again. Extremely gassy, though I haven't eaten any offending foods.
Not much else to report. Just trying to push my way through these weird days. One up another down. Wish I could find a place of consistency.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Guilt.Guilt.Guilt.
It's been a rough week. Starting out, we had a birthday party this past weekend which afforded me far too many sugary options to resist. I also made a batch of cookies to send to church on Sunday night. Unfortunately, they not only didn't get all eaten, but all the leftover sweets were sent home with my family as well. Ugh.
So, I have had more sugar in the last several days that I probably have had in months. I've been feeling awful, to say the least. Physically but emotionally as well. I can't believe I have so little will power with food again.
I'm so tired all the time. I'm usually grumpy and worn and have no energy for anything. I know I'm not fun to be around and I CRAVE sleep. I didn't get any sort of nap this past weekend, so I'm just dragging this week. I've had a headache almost every day and I know that is sleep related.
So, all that whining explains why I've been hiding from my blog this week. I've not logged. I've not exercised, except for a little today. I feel like I'm just a mess.
I did, however, get up before my children this morning. I read my bible. I read my prayer book and prayed earnestly for myself and my children. I started breakfast and laundry before they were downstairs. I greeted them with a smile. I directed everyone in their morning chores. I took my 5 youngest children for a nice walk and stop at the school playground. We came home and switched some laundry and tidied the kitchen a bit. I read to them and enjoyed snack time with them. This has actually been my most productive day I've had in a long while.
I'm crashed out now, though. I just wish it was OKAY to let myself be tired and set aside my duties to rest or try to nap. I just can't get to that place where I feel allowed to do it. I either fear foolishness will abound and cause some trouble or I'm depressed over how much further behind we will be by not pushing forward with our schooling or character issues. However, I'm not sure how much real learning is happening when I'm this worn out. Sigh.
Either way, today is better than what I've seen for a while. I'm grateful for my quiet time on my porch this morning. I'm grateful I felt well enough to get up and spend time with the Lord. I'm grateful for a quiet house, at the moment, allowing me to get some of my thoughts and feelings out. I'm grateful for a sweet baby girl that needs her momma so much that I have reason to press forward in this struggle. I'm grateful for the duties that need doing and the children that need loving and the forgiveness that comes when I fail in both of those areas. I'm grateful, ever so grateful, that the Lord loves, understands, and is gentle with those who have young. Thank you, Lord.
So, I have had more sugar in the last several days that I probably have had in months. I've been feeling awful, to say the least. Physically but emotionally as well. I can't believe I have so little will power with food again.
I'm so tired all the time. I'm usually grumpy and worn and have no energy for anything. I know I'm not fun to be around and I CRAVE sleep. I didn't get any sort of nap this past weekend, so I'm just dragging this week. I've had a headache almost every day and I know that is sleep related.
So, all that whining explains why I've been hiding from my blog this week. I've not logged. I've not exercised, except for a little today. I feel like I'm just a mess.
I did, however, get up before my children this morning. I read my bible. I read my prayer book and prayed earnestly for myself and my children. I started breakfast and laundry before they were downstairs. I greeted them with a smile. I directed everyone in their morning chores. I took my 5 youngest children for a nice walk and stop at the school playground. We came home and switched some laundry and tidied the kitchen a bit. I read to them and enjoyed snack time with them. This has actually been my most productive day I've had in a long while.
I'm crashed out now, though. I just wish it was OKAY to let myself be tired and set aside my duties to rest or try to nap. I just can't get to that place where I feel allowed to do it. I either fear foolishness will abound and cause some trouble or I'm depressed over how much further behind we will be by not pushing forward with our schooling or character issues. However, I'm not sure how much real learning is happening when I'm this worn out. Sigh.
Either way, today is better than what I've seen for a while. I'm grateful for my quiet time on my porch this morning. I'm grateful I felt well enough to get up and spend time with the Lord. I'm grateful for a quiet house, at the moment, allowing me to get some of my thoughts and feelings out. I'm grateful for a sweet baby girl that needs her momma so much that I have reason to press forward in this struggle. I'm grateful for the duties that need doing and the children that need loving and the forgiveness that comes when I fail in both of those areas. I'm grateful, ever so grateful, that the Lord loves, understands, and is gentle with those who have young. Thank you, Lord.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Wednesday July 19, 2012
Today only just started. but the sleep I got is worthy of a post. :) Only one wake up last night and that was after a 5 hour stretch of sleep! I'm up at 7am and awake enough to stay that way! Praying that means today will go well. So much to do and I've been dragging this week with sleepless nights. Off to direct the morning a bit more, conquer some laundry, set up some schooling, walk down for a New Me hair cut, shop for a bday party this weekend, and keep a smile while I work. :)
I'll update tonight on how my expectations were met. ;)
I'll update tonight on how my expectations were met. ;)
Monday, July 16, 2012
Monday July 16, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Visit with friends for the day
Coffee with more friends tonight
Lovely drive by myself this evening
Baby was a dream today while we were visiting
Ate well, skipped the eating out at Sam's and came home to our beans waiting for us in the crockpot. Great choice over pizza at Sam's that I can't eat anyways. :)
Today's Not So Good Things:
Couldn't find time to get in any exercise. Too much running.
Munched on pretzels and animal crackers on the way home. White flour = Bad. But, Hungry won out.
Had a great day. Such a wonderful day. So loved visiting with friends today. I've missed them all so much. I've missed getting out so much. I've missed having just a teeny bit of time alone so much. And I missed my baby so much, so was thrilled to snuggle her when I got home. :)
Still thinking more and more about my gall bladder. Hoping to get in some calls this week so I can get an appointment with a doc. Praying about whether I keep working on dealing with this diet-wise or just have it removed. I have a constant sore ache every day in my ribs. I really don't want to spend the next year or whatever in pain and struggling just to have it needing to be removed later. Seems a waste of my time and energy where it's needed so many other places. Prayer for wisdom are so appreciated.
Otherwise, feeling great! Looking forward to our first day of Math Week tomorrow. Looking forward to enjoying some learning time with my kiddos, tackling our chores and then, hopefully, treating everyone to a shopping trip for new school supplies. We all love when school supplies are on sale.
I'm dreaming of an early morning walk before everyone is awake. I feel like I'm too ambitious to think I'll be able to open my eyes that much so early in the morning. But, it would be SO lovely. We'll see how the night goes for Kindred before I can know for sure.
Visit with friends for the day
Coffee with more friends tonight
Lovely drive by myself this evening
Baby was a dream today while we were visiting
Ate well, skipped the eating out at Sam's and came home to our beans waiting for us in the crockpot. Great choice over pizza at Sam's that I can't eat anyways. :)
Today's Not So Good Things:
Couldn't find time to get in any exercise. Too much running.
Munched on pretzels and animal crackers on the way home. White flour = Bad. But, Hungry won out.
Had a great day. Such a wonderful day. So loved visiting with friends today. I've missed them all so much. I've missed getting out so much. I've missed having just a teeny bit of time alone so much. And I missed my baby so much, so was thrilled to snuggle her when I got home. :)
Still thinking more and more about my gall bladder. Hoping to get in some calls this week so I can get an appointment with a doc. Praying about whether I keep working on dealing with this diet-wise or just have it removed. I have a constant sore ache every day in my ribs. I really don't want to spend the next year or whatever in pain and struggling just to have it needing to be removed later. Seems a waste of my time and energy where it's needed so many other places. Prayer for wisdom are so appreciated.
Otherwise, feeling great! Looking forward to our first day of Math Week tomorrow. Looking forward to enjoying some learning time with my kiddos, tackling our chores and then, hopefully, treating everyone to a shopping trip for new school supplies. We all love when school supplies are on sale.
I'm dreaming of an early morning walk before everyone is awake. I feel like I'm too ambitious to think I'll be able to open my eyes that much so early in the morning. But, it would be SO lovely. We'll see how the night goes for Kindred before I can know for sure.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Friday July 13, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Under on calories
Over on water
School and choring finished up well
23 min on Wii Fit
Better night of sleep
Shopping with my dd this evening
Today's Not So Good Things:
Still need to get more active in my day
I made great choices with eating today. No guilt. The wii has me down 2.2 pounds since my last weigh-in. I'm thrilled. I really thought I'd see a gain over the last month+. Can't believe it's been that long since I weighed myself last. It felt great to see the scale going the right way. It felt good to exercise, though I could tell I have aways to go to get strong again. I'm going to do it, though. I feel like I'm just jumping back into the momentum I started before.
Shopping tonight was almost fun. I haven't like shopping for clothes for years. So depressing to see the sizes keep going up. Tonight I moved back into the ladies sizes for my tops, out of women's sizes. That felt great. Still have so far to go. But, it was really nice to shop for clothes that have some shape to them instead of a big sheet covering my body.
I'm excited for my husband to see my new outfit. We're attending his company outing with our three oldest children next week. We'll be deep sea fishing and then going for lunch near the ocean. I wanted to wear something nice and non-frumpy. I want him to be proud of his wife, the mother of those eight children that he gets so much flack about. Now, to be sure I get a cute hair cut next week and I think we'll be good. :)
I have one week. How much can I really accomplish in a week? It feels like I can't really make a huge difference, but I've decided to give it all I have. I'm going to take some measurements tomorrow and plan to get in some decent exercise every day and see what happens. It doesn't seem like I can do enough to make a noticeable difference, but I know *I* will notice. And, for now, that's what I care about. If I attend this even with all of those professionals wearing my head high because I know I'm getting stronger, I am working hard, I have already come a long way, AND I have an amazing family to be proud of, then the day will be a complete success.
Can you tell I've never attended a company event like this? Yes, I'm shaking at my keyboard and talking big to keep myself psyched up. It can work, though. ;) That and keeping my eyes focused on where my real worth lies.
He must become greater, I must become less.
Under on calories
Over on water
School and choring finished up well
23 min on Wii Fit
Better night of sleep
Shopping with my dd this evening
Today's Not So Good Things:
Still need to get more active in my day
I made great choices with eating today. No guilt. The wii has me down 2.2 pounds since my last weigh-in. I'm thrilled. I really thought I'd see a gain over the last month+. Can't believe it's been that long since I weighed myself last. It felt great to see the scale going the right way. It felt good to exercise, though I could tell I have aways to go to get strong again. I'm going to do it, though. I feel like I'm just jumping back into the momentum I started before.
Shopping tonight was almost fun. I haven't like shopping for clothes for years. So depressing to see the sizes keep going up. Tonight I moved back into the ladies sizes for my tops, out of women's sizes. That felt great. Still have so far to go. But, it was really nice to shop for clothes that have some shape to them instead of a big sheet covering my body.
I'm excited for my husband to see my new outfit. We're attending his company outing with our three oldest children next week. We'll be deep sea fishing and then going for lunch near the ocean. I wanted to wear something nice and non-frumpy. I want him to be proud of his wife, the mother of those eight children that he gets so much flack about. Now, to be sure I get a cute hair cut next week and I think we'll be good. :)
I have one week. How much can I really accomplish in a week? It feels like I can't really make a huge difference, but I've decided to give it all I have. I'm going to take some measurements tomorrow and plan to get in some decent exercise every day and see what happens. It doesn't seem like I can do enough to make a noticeable difference, but I know *I* will notice. And, for now, that's what I care about. If I attend this even with all of those professionals wearing my head high because I know I'm getting stronger, I am working hard, I have already come a long way, AND I have an amazing family to be proud of, then the day will be a complete success.
Can you tell I've never attended a company event like this? Yes, I'm shaking at my keyboard and talking big to keep myself psyched up. It can work, though. ;) That and keeping my eyes focused on where my real worth lies.
He must become greater, I must become less.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Thursday July 12, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Logged: ended the day under on calories
My new neighbor came by with cookies to welcome us to the neighborhood. I enjoyed one after dinner and so far, so good on gb reaction status.
My husband sent me to bed after dinner and I snuck in a tiny, but needed nap.
Worked on my new summer school schedule for the coming weeks
Schooling AND choring got done today
Today's No So Good Things:
Wasn't able to get in the exercise on the wii I had been planning all day
Woke up dragging and crabby today, leading us to a very late start in our day
Not getting in enough water
I feel like today was good, now that everyone is in bed and I've had some rest. Earlier I wouldn't have had the same response. I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a bus. I could barely function to use the bathroom at 5am this morning. I sent myself promptly back to bed and didn't get up until 8:30. Mind you, I'm not sleeping all that time, as baby is with me in bed doing her famous Latch-On/Latch-Off Karate Kid style. That's her preferred method of sleep from about 2am on. Leaves this momma catching an intermittent z here and there. But, mostly playing zone guard so Daddy doesn't roll over on her and I don't suffocate the sweet little thing. Doesn't produce nourishing sleep for me. Alas, this too shall pass, as I well know.
I'm working on a summer school schedule for the next couple of months. We started back to school a few weeks ago, but it isn't going very well. Everyone is having a hard time concentrating, most of all me. I'm not doing well keeping little occupied and bigs on track. A mentor friend of mine suggested we try one subject each week instead of trying to cover multiple ones each day. I think this may just be what my tired, foggy brain needs at this moment. To only have to think about one subject all day long sounds like a tremendous relief and will eliminate a lot of guilt. So, I'm building my spreadsheet this week in hopes that it will be useful instead of just make me feel depressed because I'm now seeing in black in white just how far behind we really are. It's an intimidating document, that's for sure. But, without vision the people perish, right?
I'm pleased with my food choices today. I feel better than yesterday. One more day to push through until the weekend when I can get a bit of extra rest, I hope. I'm going to hold out hope that we can have an earlier start tomorrow and just possibly I could get in some wii time along with our regular activities.
Logged: ended the day under on calories
My new neighbor came by with cookies to welcome us to the neighborhood. I enjoyed one after dinner and so far, so good on gb reaction status.
My husband sent me to bed after dinner and I snuck in a tiny, but needed nap.
Worked on my new summer school schedule for the coming weeks
Schooling AND choring got done today
Today's No So Good Things:
Wasn't able to get in the exercise on the wii I had been planning all day
Woke up dragging and crabby today, leading us to a very late start in our day
Not getting in enough water
I feel like today was good, now that everyone is in bed and I've had some rest. Earlier I wouldn't have had the same response. I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a bus. I could barely function to use the bathroom at 5am this morning. I sent myself promptly back to bed and didn't get up until 8:30. Mind you, I'm not sleeping all that time, as baby is with me in bed doing her famous Latch-On/Latch-Off Karate Kid style. That's her preferred method of sleep from about 2am on. Leaves this momma catching an intermittent z here and there. But, mostly playing zone guard so Daddy doesn't roll over on her and I don't suffocate the sweet little thing. Doesn't produce nourishing sleep for me. Alas, this too shall pass, as I well know.
I'm working on a summer school schedule for the next couple of months. We started back to school a few weeks ago, but it isn't going very well. Everyone is having a hard time concentrating, most of all me. I'm not doing well keeping little occupied and bigs on track. A mentor friend of mine suggested we try one subject each week instead of trying to cover multiple ones each day. I think this may just be what my tired, foggy brain needs at this moment. To only have to think about one subject all day long sounds like a tremendous relief and will eliminate a lot of guilt. So, I'm building my spreadsheet this week in hopes that it will be useful instead of just make me feel depressed because I'm now seeing in black in white just how far behind we really are. It's an intimidating document, that's for sure. But, without vision the people perish, right?
I'm pleased with my food choices today. I feel better than yesterday. One more day to push through until the weekend when I can get a bit of extra rest, I hope. I'm going to hold out hope that we can have an earlier start tomorrow and just possibly I could get in some wii time along with our regular activities.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Wednesday July 11, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Followed my diet restrictions
Fought off another gb attack this afternoon with apple juice. Found out that really works.
Evening walk and fun at the park with the fam
Making some changes with schooling and really hoping it comes together
Mornings are going better
Logged on mfp
Today's Not So Good Things:
Snacked on a bag of cookies after lunch - wondering if that was my trigger
Major gb attack last night-woke me up even-needed meds. Ouch. :(
Tired. Oh. So. Tired.
More crabby kiddos, extremely so.
Starting to wonder if I need to make some connections on what they are eating to behavior as well. Haven't seen a couple of my girls this way before. I took them to Wendy's for lunch yesterday as a treat. I had a salad but let them pick what they wanted. Chicken nuggets and then I got them each a Frosty. I couldn't believe the behavior I saw today. I'm wondering if the food had something to do with it. :-?
I woke up about an hour into sleeping with terrible pain. Well, it was actually nausea but it progressed so fast I was moving like crazy looking for relief. I've been told apple juice or apple sauce works, so I booked it downstairs to get some applesauce down. The relief couldn't come soon enough, though. I didn't have lemon juice or apple juice on hand, so I just went for the meds that they gave me at the ER. Instant relief, I tell ya'. Well, not instant, but within 5-10 minutes. I was really surprised to see it work that fast. Or, maybe the applesauce helped some too? I don't know, but it was really defeating. I had worked hard that day to make careful choices. Especially as my husband took me out that night for dinner and there was only ONE thing on the Olive Garden menu that I could really eat. Yet, I still had a foul reaction. So sad. Then, on the way home from the grocery store, my nausea and tightness started to pick up again. By the time I got home, I was sending my son to the corner store for apple juice. (no idea why I didn't get some while I was shopping.) That really helped. But, MAN do I HATE drinking so many calories!! I have never liked drinking juice bc it's so empty of fiber and yet so loaded with calories. Yet, juice seems to be helping me right now, so I need to adapt, I guess.
With all that, I've been afraid to eat anything. And tonight, I'm afraid to lie down for fear that will trigger an attack as well. I never had to be so careful, I am so frustrated that I have to avoid so many foods right now. Anyone reading, please pray for me to best understand what is the best course of action regarding this issue. Please pray I can find a doctor to help me make a wise choice. We have no leads on doctors in our area and I'm feeling pressed to find someone I can talk with soon.
On the upside, I had my pp appointment yesterday and all seemed well. The abdominal pain I'm having is likely diastasis, so I'll need to work on that. I'm hoping to start Ttapp again and that may help. Otherwise, I will look into more exercises designed to target that issue. Also, I weighed-in at 208, so at least I haven't gained what I was fearing I gained since Kindred was born. Now to just work at keeping off anymore. Honestly, the scale isn't as high a priority to me right now as getting my gall bladder healthy and strengthening my body to ward off the aches and pains.
I'm off to try to sleep now. Fear or no fear, I'm completely exhausted and desparately need to sleep.
Followed my diet restrictions
Fought off another gb attack this afternoon with apple juice. Found out that really works.
Evening walk and fun at the park with the fam
Making some changes with schooling and really hoping it comes together
Mornings are going better
Logged on mfp
Today's Not So Good Things:
Snacked on a bag of cookies after lunch - wondering if that was my trigger
Major gb attack last night-woke me up even-needed meds. Ouch. :(
Tired. Oh. So. Tired.
More crabby kiddos, extremely so.
Starting to wonder if I need to make some connections on what they are eating to behavior as well. Haven't seen a couple of my girls this way before. I took them to Wendy's for lunch yesterday as a treat. I had a salad but let them pick what they wanted. Chicken nuggets and then I got them each a Frosty. I couldn't believe the behavior I saw today. I'm wondering if the food had something to do with it. :-?
I woke up about an hour into sleeping with terrible pain. Well, it was actually nausea but it progressed so fast I was moving like crazy looking for relief. I've been told apple juice or apple sauce works, so I booked it downstairs to get some applesauce down. The relief couldn't come soon enough, though. I didn't have lemon juice or apple juice on hand, so I just went for the meds that they gave me at the ER. Instant relief, I tell ya'. Well, not instant, but within 5-10 minutes. I was really surprised to see it work that fast. Or, maybe the applesauce helped some too? I don't know, but it was really defeating. I had worked hard that day to make careful choices. Especially as my husband took me out that night for dinner and there was only ONE thing on the Olive Garden menu that I could really eat. Yet, I still had a foul reaction. So sad. Then, on the way home from the grocery store, my nausea and tightness started to pick up again. By the time I got home, I was sending my son to the corner store for apple juice. (no idea why I didn't get some while I was shopping.) That really helped. But, MAN do I HATE drinking so many calories!! I have never liked drinking juice bc it's so empty of fiber and yet so loaded with calories. Yet, juice seems to be helping me right now, so I need to adapt, I guess.
With all that, I've been afraid to eat anything. And tonight, I'm afraid to lie down for fear that will trigger an attack as well. I never had to be so careful, I am so frustrated that I have to avoid so many foods right now. Anyone reading, please pray for me to best understand what is the best course of action regarding this issue. Please pray I can find a doctor to help me make a wise choice. We have no leads on doctors in our area and I'm feeling pressed to find someone I can talk with soon.
On the upside, I had my pp appointment yesterday and all seemed well. The abdominal pain I'm having is likely diastasis, so I'll need to work on that. I'm hoping to start Ttapp again and that may help. Otherwise, I will look into more exercises designed to target that issue. Also, I weighed-in at 208, so at least I haven't gained what I was fearing I gained since Kindred was born. Now to just work at keeping off anymore. Honestly, the scale isn't as high a priority to me right now as getting my gall bladder healthy and strengthening my body to ward off the aches and pains.
I'm off to try to sleep now. Fear or no fear, I'm completely exhausted and desparately need to sleep.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Monday July 9, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Resisted a lot of treats today
Made a good choice with my extra calories tonight
Had a good start to my day
No soda :)
Prepped my citrus water
Tracked my food
Today's Not So Good Things:
No exercise
Stressful day with crabby children
Overdid it with my afternoon snack
Today was a good Monday. Hoping tomorrow is a good repeat. I'm doing better with my food choices. Feeling better about some of my limitation. Becoming more aware of my portion choices and remembering those habits I have regarding stress/boredom/fatigue eating.
Just tucked baby in for an early bedtime. I'm going to eat up my yummy fat free plain greek yogurt mixed with frozen fruit and then drift off to sleep. :)
Resisted a lot of treats today
Made a good choice with my extra calories tonight
Had a good start to my day
No soda :)
Prepped my citrus water
Tracked my food
Today's Not So Good Things:
No exercise
Stressful day with crabby children
Overdid it with my afternoon snack
Today was a good Monday. Hoping tomorrow is a good repeat. I'm doing better with my food choices. Feeling better about some of my limitation. Becoming more aware of my portion choices and remembering those habits I have regarding stress/boredom/fatigue eating.
Just tucked baby in for an early bedtime. I'm going to eat up my yummy fat free plain greek yogurt mixed with frozen fruit and then drift off to sleep. :)
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Holiday week- July 4th
Lots of friends and cookouts and activity. It made it hard to be wise with my choices and I saw an embarrassing lack of will power on my part. It's like will power is a muscle. Once you haven't used it for a while it grows very weak.
I'm feeling bloated and sluggish. My nights with baby have been very difficult, so I keep thinking its the lack of sleep. But, my food choices have been rather lazy and I think that's a big factor as well. The last two days have been better. I'm focusing on fruits and vegies to clean my system out a bit. I'm also learning and trying to make some kind of plan for eating to get my gall bladder healthy. It's still creating some pain and issues so I guess the Lord finally found the perfect way to get me to let go of the pizza, chips, and ice cream that I've always enjoyed with my husband. So far, I've found that my greek yogurt with frozen fruit replaces the ice cream well. Peanuts and even carrot sticks give me something to crunch in place of the chips. But, my pizza. I'm just going to miss pizza so much.
Slept in long today, thanks to my wonderful husband. Had a large apple for breakfast. I'm still getting used to the fact that I can eat so much fruit now and first thing in the day. The GD diet had my brain wired a different direction, so when I reach for a piece of fruit, I tend to feel like it's a bad choice. Reprogramming.
Off to enjoy lunch with the fam and hopefully get a house project done for the day.
I'm feeling bloated and sluggish. My nights with baby have been very difficult, so I keep thinking its the lack of sleep. But, my food choices have been rather lazy and I think that's a big factor as well. The last two days have been better. I'm focusing on fruits and vegies to clean my system out a bit. I'm also learning and trying to make some kind of plan for eating to get my gall bladder healthy. It's still creating some pain and issues so I guess the Lord finally found the perfect way to get me to let go of the pizza, chips, and ice cream that I've always enjoyed with my husband. So far, I've found that my greek yogurt with frozen fruit replaces the ice cream well. Peanuts and even carrot sticks give me something to crunch in place of the chips. But, my pizza. I'm just going to miss pizza so much.
Slept in long today, thanks to my wonderful husband. Had a large apple for breakfast. I'm still getting used to the fact that I can eat so much fruit now and first thing in the day. The GD diet had my brain wired a different direction, so when I reach for a piece of fruit, I tend to feel like it's a bad choice. Reprogramming.
Off to enjoy lunch with the fam and hopefully get a house project done for the day.
Gall Bladder Issues
I found some time last night to get in a bit of reading about gall bladders and diets that can keep them healthy. While I felt like I found some places that gave me some better understanding, I'm still a little unsure on the diet aspect of it.
This article was helpful in understanding how the gall bladder functions. Reading through, I'm feeling more confident that I'd prefer to work at avoiding the surgery if I am able. I liked what I read afa their suggestions for diet. But, it does contradict a tiny bit with some other sources I've read. I think what it's going to come down to is a bit of trial and error on my part learning what my personal triggers are. So far, I've noticed these:
Gall Bladder Pain Triggers: (create nausea and/or upper abdominal pains)
Soda (diet or regular)
Potato chips
Pizza
Heavy cheeses
I'm reading in some places that peanuts are very beneficial. Other places tell me to avoid them. :-/ So far, our natural peanut butter hasn't given my trouble, but I'm going to target that food this week and see what I find.
I'm also researching the use of psyllium husk as a preventative tool. The points listed in this article look promising. I plan to contact my midwife and go over the use of it in combination with the other supplements I'm taking and check to be sure there are no adverse affects with nursing.
I'm considering adding fish to my menu. I never serve fish because I find it costly and I'm not confident in how I prepare it. Now that I need to avoid butter, it will be even trickier. But, the fish oils appear to be very beneficial and it would be one of the few proteins I can enjoy in moderation. I'll have to spend some time price shopping what is available here.
That's my research and notes for now. I'll add more as I go.
This article was helpful in understanding how the gall bladder functions. Reading through, I'm feeling more confident that I'd prefer to work at avoiding the surgery if I am able. I liked what I read afa their suggestions for diet. But, it does contradict a tiny bit with some other sources I've read. I think what it's going to come down to is a bit of trial and error on my part learning what my personal triggers are. So far, I've noticed these:
Gall Bladder Pain Triggers: (create nausea and/or upper abdominal pains)
Soda (diet or regular)
Potato chips
Pizza
Heavy cheeses
I'm reading in some places that peanuts are very beneficial. Other places tell me to avoid them. :-/ So far, our natural peanut butter hasn't given my trouble, but I'm going to target that food this week and see what I find.
I'm also researching the use of psyllium husk as a preventative tool. The points listed in this article look promising. I plan to contact my midwife and go over the use of it in combination with the other supplements I'm taking and check to be sure there are no adverse affects with nursing.
I'm considering adding fish to my menu. I never serve fish because I find it costly and I'm not confident in how I prepare it. Now that I need to avoid butter, it will be even trickier. But, the fish oils appear to be very beneficial and it would be one of the few proteins I can enjoy in moderation. I'll have to spend some time price shopping what is available here.
That's my research and notes for now. I'll add more as I go.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Monday July 2, 2012
Today's Good Things:
No soda :)
Short walk after lunch
Family walk after dinner
Ate raw at each meal
Today's Not So Good Things:
Poor choices for snacks
Missed a lot of sleep last night so was dragging and very sedentary all day
Was super hungry at mid-morning and went with the easy-out...animal crackers with the littles. Boo. Also added some chocolate chips to my peanuts this afternoon. Well, I add peanuts to my choc chips because I've been munching on those too much lately. So, maybe it was actually an improvement.
I'm using MFP right now but not as exact as I could. I don't have the patience to enter in my recipes, so I'm guessing a bit on some things.
I really liked getting out after lunch today. The rest of this week will be hot, so I'm going to aim for some after lunch exercise on the wii instead. I need the stress release right now as much as the exercise.
Feeling pretty good about my start this week. Just the fact that I'm here logging in is a step in the right direction. I'm not where I used to be, but I'm not where I *used* to be either. In fact, I'm here in July and that's really good for my pp habits. Hopefully, I can at least curb the 20lb pp gain I usually do if not see significant loss right now. I sure do want to work for the loss, though.
No soda :)
Short walk after lunch
Family walk after dinner
Ate raw at each meal
Today's Not So Good Things:
Poor choices for snacks
Missed a lot of sleep last night so was dragging and very sedentary all day
Was super hungry at mid-morning and went with the easy-out...animal crackers with the littles. Boo. Also added some chocolate chips to my peanuts this afternoon. Well, I add peanuts to my choc chips because I've been munching on those too much lately. So, maybe it was actually an improvement.
I'm using MFP right now but not as exact as I could. I don't have the patience to enter in my recipes, so I'm guessing a bit on some things.
I really liked getting out after lunch today. The rest of this week will be hot, so I'm going to aim for some after lunch exercise on the wii instead. I need the stress release right now as much as the exercise.
Feeling pretty good about my start this week. Just the fact that I'm here logging in is a step in the right direction. I'm not where I used to be, but I'm not where I *used* to be either. In fact, I'm here in July and that's really good for my pp habits. Hopefully, I can at least curb the 20lb pp gain I usually do if not see significant loss right now. I sure do want to work for the loss, though.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Best Laid Plans
Sigh. I'm always so full of good intentions. They never get me anywhere, though. My absence here is a good indicator of the difficulties I've been having the past few weeks.
A list of health issues in chronological order since Baby Kindy arrived:
Incorrect latch/no weight gain for baby = major stress for me
Poison Ivy contracted through the bedding since I never set a foot outside. Ick. :(
Mastitis and recurring clogged ducts
Thrush in baby
Gallstones leading to an attack that landed me in the ER the night before my husband's trip away for a 3 day audit (oh, the drama)
Currently, I'm dealing with what I think is a BV infection and still struggling with yeast issues. Ick. I also have this strange sore spot in my mid-abdomen, feeling it strongly when I bend and sit. I can tell my gall bladder is still unhappy with me.
Right now, I'm struggling a bit with just trying to figure out what I can eat. The ER doc referred me to a surgeon to have my gall bladder removed, but I'm not ready for that step right now. However, as I research, I'm feeling so confused. I read so many varying opinions and advice on the correct way to eat and deal with gall stones, I'm not sure what to do. I don't believe I was eating so poorly before so as to have created this issue, but apparantly I was and still am since I'm struggling to find something reasonable to eat.
Admittedly, I've been eating poorly these last few weeks. I've developed a nasty liking for diet soda. I know *that* isn't good and had just started contemplating the negative results of daily intake of my favored Diet Dr. Pepper. I've also been joining my husband in his great love for chips. He would happily enjoy a bag of chips each day and I've been bad about sharing that with him, though not quite daily. ;) Sigh. These things certainly could have triggered the stones to flare up, but likely they've been there a long while.
One bright spot is that I strongly suspect that this is the cause of my sleep disturbances in recent years. I've blogged on that before. When this attack started, I was convinced it was the same sleep issue I've battled. When it grew worse and became unbearably painful, I didn't know what to think. But, now I would not be surprised if what I've felt in the past is a minor attack. Knowing that is certainly helpful to me. It could also tip me towards the surgery in the future if I can't find a good way to regulate what is going on in my body.
So, I continue to read and try to find some balance between the ER doc's orders of simply avoiding "fried, fatty foods" to the other end of the pendulum where I need to go vegetarian, no nuts, few beans, and pretty much eat cardboard. One irritation with this wonderful tool called "internet" is the complete frustration over having way too much information filling my head. Just wish I knew of a reliable resource that could walk me through this. In my dream world, that would be a doctor I know and trust. Sigh.
Whatever comes of it, I need to make a plan for adding in some kind of exercise and better eating. I'm hoping to get back to 50% raw food on my menu and *at least* getting in a family walk each day. We're currently working on getting into a new routine for choring and school, so I hope that as we get a groove there, I'll find a natural spot in our day to fit in some exercise.
Sorry I'm so intermittent. I'm tired, tired, tired. Longing for more sleep in my life. Longing for a body that doesn't feel like it's falling apart. Longing for some direction. Longing for results even though I am doing nothing to bring them about. Longing for your prayers, bloggy friends. Any who are still around to offer.
A list of health issues in chronological order since Baby Kindy arrived:
Incorrect latch/no weight gain for baby = major stress for me
Poison Ivy contracted through the bedding since I never set a foot outside. Ick. :(
Mastitis and recurring clogged ducts
Thrush in baby
Gallstones leading to an attack that landed me in the ER the night before my husband's trip away for a 3 day audit (oh, the drama)
Currently, I'm dealing with what I think is a BV infection and still struggling with yeast issues. Ick. I also have this strange sore spot in my mid-abdomen, feeling it strongly when I bend and sit. I can tell my gall bladder is still unhappy with me.
Right now, I'm struggling a bit with just trying to figure out what I can eat. The ER doc referred me to a surgeon to have my gall bladder removed, but I'm not ready for that step right now. However, as I research, I'm feeling so confused. I read so many varying opinions and advice on the correct way to eat and deal with gall stones, I'm not sure what to do. I don't believe I was eating so poorly before so as to have created this issue, but apparantly I was and still am since I'm struggling to find something reasonable to eat.
Admittedly, I've been eating poorly these last few weeks. I've developed a nasty liking for diet soda. I know *that* isn't good and had just started contemplating the negative results of daily intake of my favored Diet Dr. Pepper. I've also been joining my husband in his great love for chips. He would happily enjoy a bag of chips each day and I've been bad about sharing that with him, though not quite daily. ;) Sigh. These things certainly could have triggered the stones to flare up, but likely they've been there a long while.
One bright spot is that I strongly suspect that this is the cause of my sleep disturbances in recent years. I've blogged on that before. When this attack started, I was convinced it was the same sleep issue I've battled. When it grew worse and became unbearably painful, I didn't know what to think. But, now I would not be surprised if what I've felt in the past is a minor attack. Knowing that is certainly helpful to me. It could also tip me towards the surgery in the future if I can't find a good way to regulate what is going on in my body.
So, I continue to read and try to find some balance between the ER doc's orders of simply avoiding "fried, fatty foods" to the other end of the pendulum where I need to go vegetarian, no nuts, few beans, and pretty much eat cardboard. One irritation with this wonderful tool called "internet" is the complete frustration over having way too much information filling my head. Just wish I knew of a reliable resource that could walk me through this. In my dream world, that would be a doctor I know and trust. Sigh.
Whatever comes of it, I need to make a plan for adding in some kind of exercise and better eating. I'm hoping to get back to 50% raw food on my menu and *at least* getting in a family walk each day. We're currently working on getting into a new routine for choring and school, so I hope that as we get a groove there, I'll find a natural spot in our day to fit in some exercise.
Sorry I'm so intermittent. I'm tired, tired, tired. Longing for more sleep in my life. Longing for a body that doesn't feel like it's falling apart. Longing for some direction. Longing for results even though I am doing nothing to bring them about. Longing for your prayers, bloggy friends. Any who are still around to offer.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Thursday, May 31 2012
Today's Good Things:
Extra rest and a morning nap
Seeing better diapers
Today's Not So Good Things:
Feeling so hungry so I keep eating. Ugh
Ice cream with the fam for dessert (just 2 small scoops at least)
No activity at all. Just too tired to do anything.
A bit behind on feeding every 2 hours. Need to stay strict with that because it def shows improvement in her diapers and sleep pattern at night.
Well, May is going out with a snooze for me. I'm actually excited for the calendar to change simply for the fact that I've been thinking about the month of May for SOOOO long now. It's nice to turn the page and move on to the next season.
Tonight I sent the fam to bed a little early. My husband already turned in. I'm going to enjoy some quiet while I enjoy some cluster feeding with my little Kindli-girl. She sure is yummy. :)
I have a friend coming tomorrow, so that will definitely be some motivation toward a bit of activity by way of tidying up the house. Not too much, mind you. I don't mind having the excuse of a newborn to dismiss the general mess lying about. ;) I'm looking forward to the weekend, though. Hoping to get out for a drive so we can find a local swimming beach for the summer as well as some hiking trails in our new area. Last summer the children and I purposed to visit a few new trails and it was really fun. Hoping to do the same once I'm on my feet again.
I'd like to spend some time looking at different options for logging my food and exercise this weekend. Also hoping I can start adding in an evening walk with the family after dinner soon. Slow and Steady, right? I guess that's why they call them Baby Steps. ;)
Extra rest and a morning nap
Seeing better diapers
Today's Not So Good Things:
Feeling so hungry so I keep eating. Ugh
Ice cream with the fam for dessert (just 2 small scoops at least)
No activity at all. Just too tired to do anything.
A bit behind on feeding every 2 hours. Need to stay strict with that because it def shows improvement in her diapers and sleep pattern at night.
Well, May is going out with a snooze for me. I'm actually excited for the calendar to change simply for the fact that I've been thinking about the month of May for SOOOO long now. It's nice to turn the page and move on to the next season.
Tonight I sent the fam to bed a little early. My husband already turned in. I'm going to enjoy some quiet while I enjoy some cluster feeding with my little Kindli-girl. She sure is yummy. :)
I have a friend coming tomorrow, so that will definitely be some motivation toward a bit of activity by way of tidying up the house. Not too much, mind you. I don't mind having the excuse of a newborn to dismiss the general mess lying about. ;) I'm looking forward to the weekend, though. Hoping to get out for a drive so we can find a local swimming beach for the summer as well as some hiking trails in our new area. Last summer the children and I purposed to visit a few new trails and it was really fun. Hoping to do the same once I'm on my feet again.
I'd like to spend some time looking at different options for logging my food and exercise this weekend. Also hoping I can start adding in an evening walk with the family after dinner soon. Slow and Steady, right? I guess that's why they call them Baby Steps. ;)
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Wednesday, May 30 2012
Today's Good Things:
Good choices for meals
Summer wardrobe switch for 4 girlies (one task on babymoon list done)
Swept stairs, stairway, and family room = activity
Rested all afternoon on couch
Nice visit with in-laws
Extra snuggles with 2yo (she needs it right now)
Did well feeding every 2 hours
Got in my serving of oats today
Today's Not So Good Things:
Handful of chocolate chips in a desparate and foolish moment of weakness
No naps to catch up from a tough night with baby
Poison ivy is itching like crazy
I had been hoping to get in a nap today, but a visit with my in-laws was nice. I don't often see them or visit with them when my husband isn't around, so this has been a nice season for that.
I wish I hadn't seen that bag of chocolate chips in the freezer. I am starting to battle some *snackiness* in the afternoons. I think that's due to being tired and not terribly active. I need a distraction of some sort, but with a baby in my arms most of the time, it's hard to find a good one. Naw, that's not true. There's always a basket of laundry to fold somewhere. That's what I'll try tomorrow. :)
I was able to read a few recent posts on some of your blogs today. It's nice to see how everyone is doing. Still need to get to a few more. Hope you are all having a good week. :) Tomorrow is Thursday!! My favorite day of the week. :D
Good choices for meals
Summer wardrobe switch for 4 girlies (one task on babymoon list done)
Swept stairs, stairway, and family room = activity
Rested all afternoon on couch
Nice visit with in-laws
Extra snuggles with 2yo (she needs it right now)
Did well feeding every 2 hours
Got in my serving of oats today
Today's Not So Good Things:
Handful of chocolate chips in a desparate and foolish moment of weakness
No naps to catch up from a tough night with baby
Poison ivy is itching like crazy
I had been hoping to get in a nap today, but a visit with my in-laws was nice. I don't often see them or visit with them when my husband isn't around, so this has been a nice season for that.
I wish I hadn't seen that bag of chocolate chips in the freezer. I am starting to battle some *snackiness* in the afternoons. I think that's due to being tired and not terribly active. I need a distraction of some sort, but with a baby in my arms most of the time, it's hard to find a good one. Naw, that's not true. There's always a basket of laundry to fold somewhere. That's what I'll try tomorrow. :)
I was able to read a few recent posts on some of your blogs today. It's nice to see how everyone is doing. Still need to get to a few more. Hope you are all having a good week. :) Tomorrow is Thursday!! My favorite day of the week. :D
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Tuesday, May 29 2012
Today's Good Things:
Good choices for meals
Did well on my first solo day
Did well on our first outing
Small bit of tidying up around the house = activity
Chose popcorn for snack instead of the sweet I was craving
Today's Not So Good Things:
Not always as patient as I should be
Missed an afternoon nap
Today was pretty good for a first day solo. The children were quiet this morning, so I was able to sleep in a bit after a very long night with baby. I'm feeling a little down, as she's down another 2oz on the scale today from Sunday. I struggle so much every time and was SO hoping this baby would be better. Just can't seem to get that hindmilk in her system. Sigh. Pray for me to deal with this patiently and trust the Lord is going to bring us through.
I took the fam to my dd's sewing lessons today. I figured just driving in the car wouldn't be so bad. The littles played while we were there and I nursed baby. However, just carrying her around in her seat was tiring. I'll be staying home the rest of this week, for sure. ;) Tomorrow is supposed to be really nice. After a rainy day, I'd love to take the children to the park, but I think I best stay home and rest. Maybe I can help them set up some kind of fun thing to do in the yard and hang out with baby on my swing instead. Just trying to balance the rest, nursing, and time with the others as best I can.
Hope to get a chance to read your updates tonight. Enjoying a movie with the bigs right now, though. Kinda special to stay up late together. :)
Good choices for meals
Did well on my first solo day
Did well on our first outing
Small bit of tidying up around the house = activity
Chose popcorn for snack instead of the sweet I was craving
Today's Not So Good Things:
Not always as patient as I should be
Missed an afternoon nap
Today was pretty good for a first day solo. The children were quiet this morning, so I was able to sleep in a bit after a very long night with baby. I'm feeling a little down, as she's down another 2oz on the scale today from Sunday. I struggle so much every time and was SO hoping this baby would be better. Just can't seem to get that hindmilk in her system. Sigh. Pray for me to deal with this patiently and trust the Lord is going to bring us through.
I took the fam to my dd's sewing lessons today. I figured just driving in the car wouldn't be so bad. The littles played while we were there and I nursed baby. However, just carrying her around in her seat was tiring. I'll be staying home the rest of this week, for sure. ;) Tomorrow is supposed to be really nice. After a rainy day, I'd love to take the children to the park, but I think I best stay home and rest. Maybe I can help them set up some kind of fun thing to do in the yard and hang out with baby on my swing instead. Just trying to balance the rest, nursing, and time with the others as best I can.
Hope to get a chance to read your updates tonight. Enjoying a movie with the bigs right now, though. Kinda special to stay up late together. :)
Monday, May 28, 2012
Monday, May 28 2012 - New Start
Today's Good Things:
Took some extra time to nap on my husband's last day off of work
Ate my oatmeal this morning ;)
Did some kitchen clean up, laundry chores, and sweeping around the house today
Today's Not So Good Things:
Cookies for dessert. Sigh. (there are NO more cookies in the house anymore, thankfully)
Massive headache and neckpain since yesterday. Ouch.
So, I got on the scale today. Drumroll please.......209lbs.
I'm down 19 pounds from my last OB weigh-in!! I canNOT believe it! They said I was heavy on fluid and I guess they were right! My lowest point of weight loss before I got pregnant was 206, but I had gained back a couple pounds by the time I had a positive test. I can't believe I'm back at my starting point again. What a gift!!
So, now I've got another great source of motivation and I'm so happy. That mountain I climbed doesn't have to be climbed again. I can start where I left off and keep pressing on. I do, however, need to rebuild the strength that I lost while dealing with my pregnancy. That's going to be a challenge, for sure. But I already know I will feel so good for doing it.
I've set my weight loss goal for 1.5 pounds down each week. I don't know how that will work these first few weeks when I'm not getting in any real exercise, but it's worth aiming for. I'm off to work on my daily/weekly goals and be sure my long term goals are still in line.
I'm excited to get back into reading everyone else's progress and joining in on the encouragement towards you ladies. :)
Took some extra time to nap on my husband's last day off of work
Ate my oatmeal this morning ;)
Did some kitchen clean up, laundry chores, and sweeping around the house today
Today's Not So Good Things:
Cookies for dessert. Sigh. (there are NO more cookies in the house anymore, thankfully)
Massive headache and neckpain since yesterday. Ouch.
So, I got on the scale today. Drumroll please.......209lbs.
I'm down 19 pounds from my last OB weigh-in!! I canNOT believe it! They said I was heavy on fluid and I guess they were right! My lowest point of weight loss before I got pregnant was 206, but I had gained back a couple pounds by the time I had a positive test. I can't believe I'm back at my starting point again. What a gift!!
So, now I've got another great source of motivation and I'm so happy. That mountain I climbed doesn't have to be climbed again. I can start where I left off and keep pressing on. I do, however, need to rebuild the strength that I lost while dealing with my pregnancy. That's going to be a challenge, for sure. But I already know I will feel so good for doing it.
I've set my weight loss goal for 1.5 pounds down each week. I don't know how that will work these first few weeks when I'm not getting in any real exercise, but it's worth aiming for. I'm off to work on my daily/weekly goals and be sure my long term goals are still in line.
I'm excited to get back into reading everyone else's progress and joining in on the encouragement towards you ladies. :)
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Super Model Week :)
I did it. I'm wearing my *normal* jeans again. :) I'm so excited. I mean, not about wearing jeans so much, but that I can actually fit in them again so soon. I gained more this pregnancy than most of my others, so I was not very optimistic about how I'd start out size-wise. This is a real boost to my motivation. :)
I haven't weighed myself, yet, but hope to later today. I wanted to take a picture to use as my After Baby/Before Weight Loss marker, but our camera batter is dead and we have yet to locate the charger. Either way, I'm hoping to mark tomorrow...one week from delivery day...as my starting point for my Next New Start.
My plan for now is to Pay Attention. With my last baby, I walked away from the delivery 5 pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight. I was elated. But, I somehow let that go to my head or something because 6 months later I was up 20 pounds. So frustrating. So, my biggest effort at this point is to Pay Attention to what goes in and what effort must come out to balance it.
I confess, it's been hard already. Those chocolate chip cookies and brownies that have been delivered..the ones I said I was NOT going to eat because I still need to keep off the sugar to avoid the thrush...yeah. Well, I failed. This after baby time is super hard because I feel so ENTITLED to the treats and splurges after a season of being "so good". And, really, I wasn't even so good the last few weeks. It sure is easy to deceive ourselves in order to satisfy our flesh, isn't it?
So, in order to Pay Attention I need to:
1. Keep my plate colorful and include at least 1 raw item at each meal.
2. Keep my portions smallish but frequent, similar to the GD diet. I find that I get so hungry and tired with nursing, that eating happens more often. If I keep my meals smaller, at least I won't be eating as many calories when I need a snack to keep me going on those nursing marathons.
3. Drink water! I feel like I'm drowning, but I need the water. I still see some swelling, so I think I need to work at flushing out my system.
4. Move. I don't have any exercise plans right now. But, I do need to work on getting in some kind of movement, even when I'm feeling so tired. Some stretching would be really good for me right now, as I'm in between all this sitting with nursing and lying with trying to catch an hour or so in between nursing sessions. My back is starting to really hurt and my legs are cramping up. I need to work on some basic stretches a couple of times a day just to keep myself loosened up and ready to take on more when I'm able.
5. Enlist my amazing daughter. Her success at self-discipline and weight loss is an incredible movitator for me. She's heading up meals right now, so that's a mighty help. However, I need to get more diligent in thinking like her to avoid the sugar. What Would E Do? needs to be my new motto. ;)
6. Weigh myself weekly.
So, it's going to be a slow start, but it's definitely going to be a START. I'm determined NOT to put off Paying Attention. I'm determined not to make excuses and think I can coast for any amount of time and come out ahead. I'm determined to keep my mind and heart fixed on being Healthy and Strong and let the numbers fall where they may. I'm determined to ENJOY this journey this time around and not allow it to become a source of defeat or bitterness in my life. I'm determined to JOIN my family in creating fun and lasting memories of a life lived with energy and productivity. I'm also determined to allow myself the REST I need to keep up with this energetic and productive crew. ;)
All this determination is bound to fail from time to time, so I'll appreciate what support and encouragement you can give, ladies. So hard to believe I'm on this side again. Very exciting. :)
I'll list my goals and such tomorrow, Lord and baby willing. ;)
I haven't weighed myself, yet, but hope to later today. I wanted to take a picture to use as my After Baby/Before Weight Loss marker, but our camera batter is dead and we have yet to locate the charger. Either way, I'm hoping to mark tomorrow...one week from delivery day...as my starting point for my Next New Start.
My plan for now is to Pay Attention. With my last baby, I walked away from the delivery 5 pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight. I was elated. But, I somehow let that go to my head or something because 6 months later I was up 20 pounds. So frustrating. So, my biggest effort at this point is to Pay Attention to what goes in and what effort must come out to balance it.
I confess, it's been hard already. Those chocolate chip cookies and brownies that have been delivered..the ones I said I was NOT going to eat because I still need to keep off the sugar to avoid the thrush...yeah. Well, I failed. This after baby time is super hard because I feel so ENTITLED to the treats and splurges after a season of being "so good". And, really, I wasn't even so good the last few weeks. It sure is easy to deceive ourselves in order to satisfy our flesh, isn't it?
So, in order to Pay Attention I need to:
1. Keep my plate colorful and include at least 1 raw item at each meal.
2. Keep my portions smallish but frequent, similar to the GD diet. I find that I get so hungry and tired with nursing, that eating happens more often. If I keep my meals smaller, at least I won't be eating as many calories when I need a snack to keep me going on those nursing marathons.
3. Drink water! I feel like I'm drowning, but I need the water. I still see some swelling, so I think I need to work at flushing out my system.
4. Move. I don't have any exercise plans right now. But, I do need to work on getting in some kind of movement, even when I'm feeling so tired. Some stretching would be really good for me right now, as I'm in between all this sitting with nursing and lying with trying to catch an hour or so in between nursing sessions. My back is starting to really hurt and my legs are cramping up. I need to work on some basic stretches a couple of times a day just to keep myself loosened up and ready to take on more when I'm able.
5. Enlist my amazing daughter. Her success at self-discipline and weight loss is an incredible movitator for me. She's heading up meals right now, so that's a mighty help. However, I need to get more diligent in thinking like her to avoid the sugar. What Would E Do? needs to be my new motto. ;)
6. Weigh myself weekly.
So, it's going to be a slow start, but it's definitely going to be a START. I'm determined NOT to put off Paying Attention. I'm determined not to make excuses and think I can coast for any amount of time and come out ahead. I'm determined to keep my mind and heart fixed on being Healthy and Strong and let the numbers fall where they may. I'm determined to ENJOY this journey this time around and not allow it to become a source of defeat or bitterness in my life. I'm determined to JOIN my family in creating fun and lasting memories of a life lived with energy and productivity. I'm also determined to allow myself the REST I need to keep up with this energetic and productive crew. ;)
All this determination is bound to fail from time to time, so I'll appreciate what support and encouragement you can give, ladies. So hard to believe I'm on this side again. Very exciting. :)
I'll list my goals and such tomorrow, Lord and baby willing. ;)
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Peeking
I was unpacking my clothes and peeked into a drawer in my bureau that has my "normal" clothes in it. Oh boy, did that feel like a rush knowing it's just a couple more weeks before I can wear those clothes again. :)
I'm not doing great with testing or even following my GD diet plan. I guess my brain is convincing me that I'm almost done so I can just do "whatever". Not true. But, life feels so upside down right now with routines, meals, and most of our life in boxes still, being particular about how I eat feels like more effort than I can muster. I'm skipping snacks. Not getting in the vegies I should. Just generally not paying attention and grabbing what it easy because even a simple meal is pretty hard to do right now without a kitchen to use.
I'm going to try to work on more vegies and fruits for snacking in the coming weeks. Other than that, just plugging away at getting our home ready for this baby. I'm needing more rest than ever right now, but struggling to sleep at night. I'm also feeling very strongly that I need to work hard at preparing my heart and mind to get through labor and meet this baby girl.
Hope you are all reporting much more positive progress than I am. ;)
I'm not doing great with testing or even following my GD diet plan. I guess my brain is convincing me that I'm almost done so I can just do "whatever". Not true. But, life feels so upside down right now with routines, meals, and most of our life in boxes still, being particular about how I eat feels like more effort than I can muster. I'm skipping snacks. Not getting in the vegies I should. Just generally not paying attention and grabbing what it easy because even a simple meal is pretty hard to do right now without a kitchen to use.
I'm going to try to work on more vegies and fruits for snacking in the coming weeks. Other than that, just plugging away at getting our home ready for this baby. I'm needing more rest than ever right now, but struggling to sleep at night. I'm also feeling very strongly that I need to work hard at preparing my heart and mind to get through labor and meet this baby girl.
Hope you are all reporting much more positive progress than I am. ;)
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
The Belly Pic
Here it is, Heather. My oldest thought it was pretty funny that someone wanted to see my big ol' belly
;) She thought I should be wearing a different shirt because it makes my belly look more pregnant. I quickly convinced her that *every* shirt I wear makes it pretty obvious I have a very pregnant belly. ;)
35 weeks 4 days
18 pounds gained so far
Measuring 37 weeks
Feeling completely exhausted from a very long day working on renovations at the house.
;) She thought I should be wearing a different shirt because it makes my belly look more pregnant. I quickly convinced her that *every* shirt I wear makes it pretty obvious I have a very pregnant belly. ;)
35 weeks 4 days
18 pounds gained so far
Measuring 37 weeks
Feeling completely exhausted from a very long day working on renovations at the house.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Insulin Free!
Well, after a week of skipping my insulin at night, my fasting numbers are better than ever. They are as low as they were while I was taking the insulin and def lower than I was seeing a few months ago. I'm not sure if it was the meter I was using or my body has just made some adjustments, but I'm so thankful!
I spoke with the OB last Friday. She was supportive but also a little unsure how the rest of the team is going to take a patient taking themself off of the insulin. I hope I'm not making too many wave. Thinking for myself may not be what they were hoping for. ;) The biggest change, at this point, with dropping the insulin is the potential for me to go down to 1 appointment a week instead of the 2 I'm doing now. One NST and another with NST and OB. With an hour drive one way to the clinic, I'm praying they'll agree to let me go down to being seen once weekly.
The scale is staying steady right now, but I'm up 18 pounds for the whole pregnancy. I know that isn't much afa averages go, but it's a lot for my normal. Part of me wants to be sad because I'm seeing the same number on the scale that I started at when I was losing weight last year. It was my *highest* number and I never wanted to see it again. I know it's only a short time before I can start working to get that number down again. And, of course, it's more than worth the sacrifice. It's just hard to think of how hard I worked to lose those measely 20 pounds and now they're back again. Pity party..wah...wah...wah.
This week is going to be super busy. We are pushing hard to get moved in by the end of the week. Our list to do so is L.O.N.G. Please pray we have the energy, stamina, and help we need to accomplish the work the Lord intends for us to do. I know we could be pushing for more than He's wanting right now, so I'm asking that we would work hard, yet be focused on honoring Him in our efforts.
I'm ending my days with aching feet and back. I've noticed a bit of swelling in my fingers and now my legs, ankles, and feet. I need to up my water, but I'm praying that's all it is. I definitely don't want to create more health issues to deal with at this point.
Every day is a new adventure right now. I don't know where I'll be or what we'll be doing from one day to the next, so any kind of routine or planning is out the window right now. It's kind of fun for a season, but I think we're all ready for it to be over very soon. Moving in to the house won't end the work, but it will alleviate the stress of living in two different places. That is a welcome change.
I spoke with the OB last Friday. She was supportive but also a little unsure how the rest of the team is going to take a patient taking themself off of the insulin. I hope I'm not making too many wave. Thinking for myself may not be what they were hoping for. ;) The biggest change, at this point, with dropping the insulin is the potential for me to go down to 1 appointment a week instead of the 2 I'm doing now. One NST and another with NST and OB. With an hour drive one way to the clinic, I'm praying they'll agree to let me go down to being seen once weekly.
The scale is staying steady right now, but I'm up 18 pounds for the whole pregnancy. I know that isn't much afa averages go, but it's a lot for my normal. Part of me wants to be sad because I'm seeing the same number on the scale that I started at when I was losing weight last year. It was my *highest* number and I never wanted to see it again. I know it's only a short time before I can start working to get that number down again. And, of course, it's more than worth the sacrifice. It's just hard to think of how hard I worked to lose those measely 20 pounds and now they're back again. Pity party..wah...wah...wah.
This week is going to be super busy. We are pushing hard to get moved in by the end of the week. Our list to do so is L.O.N.G. Please pray we have the energy, stamina, and help we need to accomplish the work the Lord intends for us to do. I know we could be pushing for more than He's wanting right now, so I'm asking that we would work hard, yet be focused on honoring Him in our efforts.
I'm ending my days with aching feet and back. I've noticed a bit of swelling in my fingers and now my legs, ankles, and feet. I need to up my water, but I'm praying that's all it is. I definitely don't want to create more health issues to deal with at this point.
Every day is a new adventure right now. I don't know where I'll be or what we'll be doing from one day to the next, so any kind of routine or planning is out the window right now. It's kind of fun for a season, but I think we're all ready for it to be over very soon. Moving in to the house won't end the work, but it will alleviate the stress of living in two different places. That is a welcome change.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Quickly...
Doing well.
Baby is great.
My numbers are better than ever. Even when I've skipped my insulin, I'm golden.
Hoping to get in touch with my GD counselor to change my status from "insulin-dependent". It may not do much at this stage. But, I could at least drop the twice weekly NSTs. That would be lovely.
My husband starts a week and a half off of work tomorrow. We are thrilled to have him around and be working together. At the house working nearly every day.
Celebrating another girlie birthday tomorrow as well.
Mostly feeling slow and I wear out easily. However, I'm not uncomfortable enough to be begging for labor to begin yet, so I'm good for a while. ;)
Hope you are all doing well. Miss you!!
Baby is great.
My numbers are better than ever. Even when I've skipped my insulin, I'm golden.
Hoping to get in touch with my GD counselor to change my status from "insulin-dependent". It may not do much at this stage. But, I could at least drop the twice weekly NSTs. That would be lovely.
My husband starts a week and a half off of work tomorrow. We are thrilled to have him around and be working together. At the house working nearly every day.
Celebrating another girlie birthday tomorrow as well.
Mostly feeling slow and I wear out easily. However, I'm not uncomfortable enough to be begging for labor to begin yet, so I'm good for a while. ;)
Hope you are all doing well. Miss you!!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Slowing Down
Our new schedule for working at the house is to meet my husband there at 4:30pm for dinner, devotions, and then we work. I love this and am so glad he's implementing this time to keep us grounded.
Last night, however, I was wiped by 7pm. Honestly, I could barely move. My arms felt heavy, my back was aching, and I was about to drop. I felt like such a heel because all I did was vacuum rooms and take out ceiling tiles. Easy work compared to the back-breaking bending he and the bigs were doing caulking all the cracks in the wood floors to prep for painting. (it took a whole case of caulk for one bedroom. Yikes!) Bless his heart, though. He keeps making "special" lists for me to make sure I don't have to do the hard stuff. <3
But, I have to resign myself to the fact that I am wearing out fast these days. I had one little sick yesterday, so maybe there's a bug I'm fighting that's working against me. I don't know, but I am moving so slowly it's embarrassing.
Here's a secret: I decreased my insulin last night to 9 instead of 10. I'm getting close to the end of the bottle and I don't want to have to buy another before baby comes. My fasting number was 76 this morning. That's one of my lowest. I may go down to 8 tonight and stick there. I haven't heard from my GD counselor for a month or so. Wondering if she forgot about me or what. Not that I mind. ;)
I hope you are all doing well. I'm definitely feeling my hormones swing in a big way. This week, I'm struggling with motivaiton and joyfulness. I think a big part of that is that the progress we are making on the house this week seems incremental. It's all good and will be wonderful when it's done, but the big changes are way more exciting. :)
Last night, however, I was wiped by 7pm. Honestly, I could barely move. My arms felt heavy, my back was aching, and I was about to drop. I felt like such a heel because all I did was vacuum rooms and take out ceiling tiles. Easy work compared to the back-breaking bending he and the bigs were doing caulking all the cracks in the wood floors to prep for painting. (it took a whole case of caulk for one bedroom. Yikes!) Bless his heart, though. He keeps making "special" lists for me to make sure I don't have to do the hard stuff. <3
But, I have to resign myself to the fact that I am wearing out fast these days. I had one little sick yesterday, so maybe there's a bug I'm fighting that's working against me. I don't know, but I am moving so slowly it's embarrassing.
Here's a secret: I decreased my insulin last night to 9 instead of 10. I'm getting close to the end of the bottle and I don't want to have to buy another before baby comes. My fasting number was 76 this morning. That's one of my lowest. I may go down to 8 tonight and stick there. I haven't heard from my GD counselor for a month or so. Wondering if she forgot about me or what. Not that I mind. ;)
I hope you are all doing well. I'm definitely feeling my hormones swing in a big way. This week, I'm struggling with motivaiton and joyfulness. I think a big part of that is that the progress we are making on the house this week seems incremental. It's all good and will be wonderful when it's done, but the big changes are way more exciting. :)
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Quick Update
Thanks for praying! We went to have dinner with the speakers tonight and I was so blessed. I've been feeling so bad about all that I *didn't* get done for the convention, I was almost afraid to show my face. However, it was truly a blessing to see everyone on the team and their families. Also, Mrs. Washburn, one of our speakers arrived and gave me a huge hug and thanked me for all my *hard work*!!! Then she proceeded to ask me about how I'm feeling, if I'm getting enough rest...just like a mom would do. I just can't describe how that made me feel. She is a lovely woman and I can't wait to sit under her feet for the next two days soaking in her experience and wisdom. Didn't know I was this hungry for it, even!
Thanks again, for anyone who stopped by and made it through my last whiney post. If you've been praying, it's been working!
Thanks again, for anyone who stopped by and made it through my last whiney post. If you've been praying, it's been working!
Push
I am so incredibly beat! The house is coming along. An amazing friend came yesterday with her 6 children and helped us accomplish everything I'd been trying to get done for the last week. I am so overwhelmed with gratitude. I am also feeling exhausted.
Had my first NST today and another OB appt. All is well. The doc I saw today is one that I don't care for all that much. It annoys me when a doc acts surprised that all is well and keeps warning me that it likely to get worse. I'm not rescheduling for that again.
I did some shopping for convention supplies after my appt. Picked up a few children from a friends' house who was watching them. Came home to eat some yummy Indian Spiced Lentils and then fully crashed. My brain is feeling fried. However, we have a lot to do to be ready to leave to convention set up in another hour. I think the fog is going to keep me in taxi mode while I allow the bigs to do their set up thing and just hang with my littles until dinner with the speakers tonight. I'm feeling so worn out, it's hard to even be excited about the event. I'll get there...I hope. ;)
I'll be out of touch until the end of the weekend. With David unable to attend convention with me this year, I'll be more than busy just keeping up with my duties there and Mom duties as well. I am SO happy this is coming to an end. Something so satisfying about seeing it all wrap up. I just pray it goes well and many are blessed by the efforts of the team.
Pray I can push and make it through the next few days.
Had my first NST today and another OB appt. All is well. The doc I saw today is one that I don't care for all that much. It annoys me when a doc acts surprised that all is well and keeps warning me that it likely to get worse. I'm not rescheduling for that again.
I did some shopping for convention supplies after my appt. Picked up a few children from a friends' house who was watching them. Came home to eat some yummy Indian Spiced Lentils and then fully crashed. My brain is feeling fried. However, we have a lot to do to be ready to leave to convention set up in another hour. I think the fog is going to keep me in taxi mode while I allow the bigs to do their set up thing and just hang with my littles until dinner with the speakers tonight. I'm feeling so worn out, it's hard to even be excited about the event. I'll get there...I hope. ;)
I'll be out of touch until the end of the weekend. With David unable to attend convention with me this year, I'll be more than busy just keeping up with my duties there and Mom duties as well. I am SO happy this is coming to an end. Something so satisfying about seeing it all wrap up. I just pray it goes well and many are blessed by the efforts of the team.
Pray I can push and make it through the next few days.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Monday March 26, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Ate *okay*, numbers good, remembered to test ;)
Not feeling as sore and I was moving up and down those stairs pretty good today :)
I feel like I have energy! I haven't had anything like energy is a LONG time. Feels abnormal! LOL
I worked hard felt productive today.
Today's Not So Good Things:
I am definitely not eating enough.
Some good work done at the house today. The children and I washed all the baseboards, window trim, and doors in most of the house to prep it for priming tonight. I really noticed that I wasn't feeling as worn out and achey while I was working. The stairs didn't feel so difficult today either. Being out of shape really stinks. We got a good rhythm down today and all worked together pretty well. We just had one odd wheel and the Lord enabled me to keep my patience and not lose my mind dealing with that one. I sure do hope an evening with Dad is going to create a decent turn around for tomorrow.
Tomorrow we spend the morning cleaning the house we currently live in, catching up on laundry chores and prepping food for the rest of the week. I tell ya, just keeping up with meals for two houses and their workers is a big job! I'm looking forward to a bit more time at home so the littles can get a nap and we can deal with the mess we keep leaving behind. I come home each evening to wash dishes from the RV, throw in some laundry and tidy up a bit, but it definitely isn't enough. Oh yeah....we're supposed to be getting in a couple subjects of schooling each day too. Blah.
Thanks for your comment on E, Heather. I'll be sure to tell her. I am so proud of her determination. It's definitely not a passing phase with her. She's made the changes a real part of who she is. Such a great example to me. :)
Ate *okay*, numbers good, remembered to test ;)
Not feeling as sore and I was moving up and down those stairs pretty good today :)
I feel like I have energy! I haven't had anything like energy is a LONG time. Feels abnormal! LOL
I worked hard felt productive today.
Today's Not So Good Things:
I am definitely not eating enough.
Some good work done at the house today. The children and I washed all the baseboards, window trim, and doors in most of the house to prep it for priming tonight. I really noticed that I wasn't feeling as worn out and achey while I was working. The stairs didn't feel so difficult today either. Being out of shape really stinks. We got a good rhythm down today and all worked together pretty well. We just had one odd wheel and the Lord enabled me to keep my patience and not lose my mind dealing with that one. I sure do hope an evening with Dad is going to create a decent turn around for tomorrow.
Tomorrow we spend the morning cleaning the house we currently live in, catching up on laundry chores and prepping food for the rest of the week. I tell ya, just keeping up with meals for two houses and their workers is a big job! I'm looking forward to a bit more time at home so the littles can get a nap and we can deal with the mess we keep leaving behind. I come home each evening to wash dishes from the RV, throw in some laundry and tidy up a bit, but it definitely isn't enough. Oh yeah....we're supposed to be getting in a couple subjects of schooling each day too. Blah.
Thanks for your comment on E, Heather. I'll be sure to tell her. I am so proud of her determination. It's definitely not a passing phase with her. She's made the changes a real part of who she is. Such a great example to me. :)
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Sunday March 25, 2012
Today's Good Things:
I got a great night of sleep
Got some real cleaning done, though still not nearly as much as I would like to believe I could do. ;)
Worked just half a day or so and came home to rest and enjoy some family worship
Ate well, numbers good, remembered to test. :)
Today's Not So Good Things:
My hand has a bump at the base, just before my wrist. It looks like swelling or fluid and it hurts. I have no idea what I did, but I noticed it this morning shortly after waking. Weird.
We had a good day working. It was raining, so it felt like we should be in getting things done. We made a lot of progress in just a few days. I posted a couple of entries on our family blog if anyone is interested in seeing photos of the house. Just click on that linky thing and you'll see the first one.
Thanks for all of your encouragement ladies. I didn't get any belly pics yet, Heather. I did think of it, but just kept forgetting. I was bummed because I forgot to get a pic of us eating our first meal in our new dining room too! Pizza in lawn chairs and a picnic blanket. Great memories. :) (but I was good and only had 1 piece. :D)
I got a great night of sleep
Got some real cleaning done, though still not nearly as much as I would like to believe I could do. ;)
Worked just half a day or so and came home to rest and enjoy some family worship
Ate well, numbers good, remembered to test. :)
Today's Not So Good Things:
My hand has a bump at the base, just before my wrist. It looks like swelling or fluid and it hurts. I have no idea what I did, but I noticed it this morning shortly after waking. Weird.
We had a good day working. It was raining, so it felt like we should be in getting things done. We made a lot of progress in just a few days. I posted a couple of entries on our family blog if anyone is interested in seeing photos of the house. Just click on that linky thing and you'll see the first one.
Thanks for all of your encouragement ladies. I didn't get any belly pics yet, Heather. I did think of it, but just kept forgetting. I was bummed because I forgot to get a pic of us eating our first meal in our new dining room too! Pizza in lawn chairs and a picnic blanket. Great memories. :) (but I was good and only had 1 piece. :D)
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Good Ouch.
I went to bed with tylenol last night. I just knew my feet and calves were not going to let me sleep. ;)
Good, productive day, though. I admit, I was more than a little stressed and irritable. My children were at that level of excitement that creates the selective hearing no mother enjoys. The girls and I spent 2 hours at Walmart shopping for cleaning supplies while my boys worked with fil on the house. Once we got back, got lunch served, cleaned up, and set up littles with a movie for quiet time in the RV...I was beat!! And I hadn't even worked on the house at ALL. Ugh.
So, I am feeling like a slouch because I'm not doing my share on the work. Yet, just keeping up with normal stuff in the midst of it all is enough. I'm hoping that once the "newness" of the yard and event wears off, we can have a bit less chaos and a bit more progress made on the cleaning. I did get 2 window sills and two baseboards washed before the littles decided that was all they were doing for the day. Then I proceeded to clean up all the soapy water they left behind. Good memories. ;)
Eating wasn't great yesterday, but it could have been worse. My oldest is already taking on the task of making sure we have the "right" foods on site for the weekend. She sure is a great asset, that girl. ;)
I can't even describe my joy in walking through this house. The character, charm, memories it holds, and potential for beauty just overwhelm me sometimes. That has to be a good thing, but the dear old house is so filthy not many people could see past it. But, when you know it is a gift given by a Father that LOVES, dirt, peeling paint, nasty carpet and all....you just can't help but rejoice! It's like he chose to wrap it in all these lovely layers of hard work and togetherness so the unveiling can be as wonderful as the gift itself. Thank you, dear Father. Such a gift swells my heart.
Good, productive day, though. I admit, I was more than a little stressed and irritable. My children were at that level of excitement that creates the selective hearing no mother enjoys. The girls and I spent 2 hours at Walmart shopping for cleaning supplies while my boys worked with fil on the house. Once we got back, got lunch served, cleaned up, and set up littles with a movie for quiet time in the RV...I was beat!! And I hadn't even worked on the house at ALL. Ugh.
So, I am feeling like a slouch because I'm not doing my share on the work. Yet, just keeping up with normal stuff in the midst of it all is enough. I'm hoping that once the "newness" of the yard and event wears off, we can have a bit less chaos and a bit more progress made on the cleaning. I did get 2 window sills and two baseboards washed before the littles decided that was all they were doing for the day. Then I proceeded to clean up all the soapy water they left behind. Good memories. ;)
Eating wasn't great yesterday, but it could have been worse. My oldest is already taking on the task of making sure we have the "right" foods on site for the weekend. She sure is a great asset, that girl. ;)
I can't even describe my joy in walking through this house. The character, charm, memories it holds, and potential for beauty just overwhelm me sometimes. That has to be a good thing, but the dear old house is so filthy not many people could see past it. But, when you know it is a gift given by a Father that LOVES, dirt, peeling paint, nasty carpet and all....you just can't help but rejoice! It's like he chose to wrap it in all these lovely layers of hard work and togetherness so the unveiling can be as wonderful as the gift itself. Thank you, dear Father. Such a gift swells my heart.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Big Day Today
In a couple of hours we will be closing on the "new" house. We're all very excited. :)
I do feel a little apprehensive of all that is coming in the following weeks. I know it will be physically demanding in a huge way. Yet, we're all so anxious to begin that waiting has made it emotionally challenging as well.
Yesterday was my "real" birthday. It was nice. My oldest treated me to an afternoon for napping while she held down the fort. I couldn't sleep, unfortunately, but I enjoyed the rest time.
Numbers all good. Baby moving like crazy. I go in for an NST next week and that begins weekly appointments for me. That feels early, but I guess the GD earns that for you. I'm starting to feel a bit of bh's, but still nothing like I remember in past pregnancies. I remember being so excited to get them so I could practice my relaxation. I can't even wrap my brain around delivery this time, though. I'm letting that stay in the distant future while I concentrate on the next thing.
Please pray I can be careful with my eating choices in the midst of the activity coming. We're setting up our RV at the new house, so we should be able to keep up with decent meals each day. I want to work hard, but I also know I've been super lazy the last couple of months, so I wear out easy.
I hope you are all working hard and staying strong!
I do feel a little apprehensive of all that is coming in the following weeks. I know it will be physically demanding in a huge way. Yet, we're all so anxious to begin that waiting has made it emotionally challenging as well.
Yesterday was my "real" birthday. It was nice. My oldest treated me to an afternoon for napping while she held down the fort. I couldn't sleep, unfortunately, but I enjoyed the rest time.
Numbers all good. Baby moving like crazy. I go in for an NST next week and that begins weekly appointments for me. That feels early, but I guess the GD earns that for you. I'm starting to feel a bit of bh's, but still nothing like I remember in past pregnancies. I remember being so excited to get them so I could practice my relaxation. I can't even wrap my brain around delivery this time, though. I'm letting that stay in the distant future while I concentrate on the next thing.
Please pray I can be careful with my eating choices in the midst of the activity coming. We're setting up our RV at the new house, so we should be able to keep up with decent meals each day. I want to work hard, but I also know I've been super lazy the last couple of months, so I wear out easy.
I hope you are all working hard and staying strong!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Treading Water
Heather, you said that me writing is an encouragement. I'm afraid you may disagree when I finish this post.
I'm beat. I went to bed feeling icky and woke up the same. I've not been sleeping well at all. Back to my same routine of waking every few hours struggling with breathing and feeling restless and uncomfortable. Often I can't get back to sleep, so I spend a couple of hours in the middle of the night tossing, turning, praying, fretting, and wasting time on the computer.
My days are full, but I am always dragging. I have so much to get done with packing, cleaning, schooling, and basic life. Yet, my heart isn't in it. I feel like I'm walking around in a fog. I'm excited about all we have going on, I'm just feeling too worn down to fully enjoy it.
I'm barely eating and not always the best choices. I'm not eating junk, but I'm not getting in everything I should either by way of protein, vegies and fruits. Often, I'm just too tired to bother.
I keep forgetting to test. Though, my numbers are all fine when I do. I'm relieved on that measure.
Today I'd like to rest. I feel like my body just needs a shut-down for a bit. But, I have many errands to run and an appt. to meet a new OB and check on dear little Kindy. I'm still brainstorming on how to do that with all the children in tow. I'll be so grateful when tax season is over and my husband is part of our life again.
My bright spot of hope is approaching, though. My amazing man has made arrangements to take me away for my birthday this weekend. (a bit early, but I'll take it!) We haven't had a weekend away alone for many, many years. We leave on Friday for a hotel with a spa. He arranged for a couples massage for us on Friday night. Saturday he'll be going to work so I'll have that luxurious room all to myself until his day is done. Whirlpool tub, fireplace, balcony overlooking the lake, quiet...I just can't imagine. I guess I'll push through today, push through the cleaning for my in-laws that needs doing tomorrow, and enjoy my weekend shut down. :) I am SO ready to be a bride again and just enjoy the affections and company of my favorite person.
I apologize for not being the encouragement I long to be for your ladies. My eyes glaze over whenever I get to any kind of reading in blog land. I do pray you are all pressing forward in your journeys. I know the Lord will complete this work He has begun in your lives. I treasure your prayers and thoughts and the kind notes you leave for me. You are all a great blessing.
I'm beat. I went to bed feeling icky and woke up the same. I've not been sleeping well at all. Back to my same routine of waking every few hours struggling with breathing and feeling restless and uncomfortable. Often I can't get back to sleep, so I spend a couple of hours in the middle of the night tossing, turning, praying, fretting, and wasting time on the computer.
My days are full, but I am always dragging. I have so much to get done with packing, cleaning, schooling, and basic life. Yet, my heart isn't in it. I feel like I'm walking around in a fog. I'm excited about all we have going on, I'm just feeling too worn down to fully enjoy it.
I'm barely eating and not always the best choices. I'm not eating junk, but I'm not getting in everything I should either by way of protein, vegies and fruits. Often, I'm just too tired to bother.
I keep forgetting to test. Though, my numbers are all fine when I do. I'm relieved on that measure.
Today I'd like to rest. I feel like my body just needs a shut-down for a bit. But, I have many errands to run and an appt. to meet a new OB and check on dear little Kindy. I'm still brainstorming on how to do that with all the children in tow. I'll be so grateful when tax season is over and my husband is part of our life again.
My bright spot of hope is approaching, though. My amazing man has made arrangements to take me away for my birthday this weekend. (a bit early, but I'll take it!) We haven't had a weekend away alone for many, many years. We leave on Friday for a hotel with a spa. He arranged for a couples massage for us on Friday night. Saturday he'll be going to work so I'll have that luxurious room all to myself until his day is done. Whirlpool tub, fireplace, balcony overlooking the lake, quiet...I just can't imagine. I guess I'll push through today, push through the cleaning for my in-laws that needs doing tomorrow, and enjoy my weekend shut down. :) I am SO ready to be a bride again and just enjoy the affections and company of my favorite person.
I apologize for not being the encouragement I long to be for your ladies. My eyes glaze over whenever I get to any kind of reading in blog land. I do pray you are all pressing forward in your journeys. I know the Lord will complete this work He has begun in your lives. I treasure your prayers and thoughts and the kind notes you leave for me. You are all a great blessing.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Roller Coaster Ride
That's how life feels right now.
Last week we signed the papers on a big ol' fixer upper in a small town about 30 minutes from where we live. It cuts my husband's commute in half. Yay! But, we're giving up our 2 acres for less than half an acre in town. We'll be increasing our home size by almost double once we get all the renovations done (umm...years and years from now ;) ), and we're decreasing our debt in a HUGE way.
So, life is insane right now. The children and I are packing. We even had a showing this week and we haven't even listed our house to sell! So, with all the packing, sorting, cleaning, and working to keep up with the most basic of schooling, I am definitely On The Move. I sure do feel more physically tired when night time comes. That's a good thing. :)
I'm doing my best to keep up my diet, but I admit. I often forget to eat and even test. I need to be careful to keep up with what I need to do there so that I don't undo all my hard work. I'm not checking in here as often simply because there's not a ton to report other than that I'm trying to keep my head above water.
We are working to be done packing by the 27th when we close on the house. Then we'll move our energies over to the renovations and cleaning that needs to happen there before we can move in. In the meantime, I'm plugging away at schooling, testing, my duties on the convention comittee since that is happening at the end of March, (yikes!) my GD needs, appts for baby, (every two weeks now???) GD appts., and those easier tasks like training and caring for the needs of a family of 9 soon to be 10.
Just *think* of how fast this last trimester is going to go!! :D
Last week we signed the papers on a big ol' fixer upper in a small town about 30 minutes from where we live. It cuts my husband's commute in half. Yay! But, we're giving up our 2 acres for less than half an acre in town. We'll be increasing our home size by almost double once we get all the renovations done (umm...years and years from now ;) ), and we're decreasing our debt in a HUGE way.
So, life is insane right now. The children and I are packing. We even had a showing this week and we haven't even listed our house to sell! So, with all the packing, sorting, cleaning, and working to keep up with the most basic of schooling, I am definitely On The Move. I sure do feel more physically tired when night time comes. That's a good thing. :)
I'm doing my best to keep up my diet, but I admit. I often forget to eat and even test. I need to be careful to keep up with what I need to do there so that I don't undo all my hard work. I'm not checking in here as often simply because there's not a ton to report other than that I'm trying to keep my head above water.
We are working to be done packing by the 27th when we close on the house. Then we'll move our energies over to the renovations and cleaning that needs to happen there before we can move in. In the meantime, I'm plugging away at schooling, testing, my duties on the convention comittee since that is happening at the end of March, (yikes!) my GD needs, appts for baby, (every two weeks now???) GD appts., and those easier tasks like training and caring for the needs of a family of 9 soon to be 10.
Just *think* of how fast this last trimester is going to go!! :D
Monday, February 27, 2012
Monday February 27, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Up early for family devotions
The children, esp the boys, had great attitudes today and got their schooling done with little pressure from me. Whew.
Went to look at a house and made an offer! Gulp.
Coffee with two precious friends that I haven't been able to join for coffee for over a month!
Today's Not So Good Things:
Slumpish this morning
No exercise
Bed too late
I need to get myself to bed earlier. I know I'm struggling some because of that. Today was really good, though. Probably the distraction of looking at the house and running around helped. But, my one boy that has been so tough lately was a dream today! Just need to keep praying and pressing forward. Deep breath. ;)
Up early for family devotions
The children, esp the boys, had great attitudes today and got their schooling done with little pressure from me. Whew.
Went to look at a house and made an offer! Gulp.
Coffee with two precious friends that I haven't been able to join for coffee for over a month!
Today's Not So Good Things:
Slumpish this morning
No exercise
Bed too late
I need to get myself to bed earlier. I know I'm struggling some because of that. Today was really good, though. Probably the distraction of looking at the house and running around helped. But, my one boy that has been so tough lately was a dream today! Just need to keep praying and pressing forward. Deep breath. ;)
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Sunday February 26, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Numbers great
Lovely Sunday drive with my husband
20 minutes pilates after dinner
Today's Not So Good Things:
After a lot of sitting/driving, my back is really hurting
It was nice to be back in church after a few weeks missing. It was a good feeling to be missed. A friend from church brought us a lovely meal of cabbage rolls and grape leaf rolls. Quite gourmet for our fam. ;)
We went looking at houses today. Still praying about a possible move. Not sure if the Lord would have us tough out living in this house with an overstretched mortgage or start again in a low-budget fixer-upper. So hard to know what's the right way. Lots to keep praying about.
I'm hoping this coming week will find me eager to work, be active, and Do What Comes Next. As of Wed. the children and I will be on our own until Friday evening, so I know I'll need to pace myself. But I have so many details to tend to right now with schooling, convention, and the hs support group. I'm going to need His strength to accomplish it all. The Lord graciously spoke to my heart today that I need to be on my knees so that it's Him that others see and not myself. It is very evident that I cannot accomplish what is before me in my own strength (or complete lack of it). He desires to do it through me that He will receive the glory that can only be His. I am humbled and honored to be such a broken vessel used for His purposes. My week definitely needs to be focused on prayer.
Numbers great
Lovely Sunday drive with my husband
20 minutes pilates after dinner
Today's Not So Good Things:
After a lot of sitting/driving, my back is really hurting
It was nice to be back in church after a few weeks missing. It was a good feeling to be missed. A friend from church brought us a lovely meal of cabbage rolls and grape leaf rolls. Quite gourmet for our fam. ;)
We went looking at houses today. Still praying about a possible move. Not sure if the Lord would have us tough out living in this house with an overstretched mortgage or start again in a low-budget fixer-upper. So hard to know what's the right way. Lots to keep praying about.
I'm hoping this coming week will find me eager to work, be active, and Do What Comes Next. As of Wed. the children and I will be on our own until Friday evening, so I know I'll need to pace myself. But I have so many details to tend to right now with schooling, convention, and the hs support group. I'm going to need His strength to accomplish it all. The Lord graciously spoke to my heart today that I need to be on my knees so that it's Him that others see and not myself. It is very evident that I cannot accomplish what is before me in my own strength (or complete lack of it). He desires to do it through me that He will receive the glory that can only be His. I am humbled and honored to be such a broken vessel used for His purposes. My week definitely needs to be focused on prayer.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Saturday February 25, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Big rest day
Date night with my three oldest
Today's Not So Good Things:
Still feeling emotionally spent/stressed/worn/you name it
Nothing much happened today other than me catching up on some sleep this morning, spending some extra time with my girlies, dealing with some more attitude issues with my son, and a feeling of "I really don't care" regarding the rest of life. I need to get out of this funk soon.
My numbers have been amazing low. Strangely low. I don't get it low. But, I'm not complaining. I'm just confused on how I can be not exercising, not *really* eating according to plan and seeing numbers like I am. The one thing I can think of is that I'm not eating enough at each meal. I know I'm not getting in the variety I should or the amounts I should. However, I'm feeling full. It's odd, but at least it means all is well for now.
I had a really nice time out with my three oldest tonight. I think we all needed the break since being under this month-long quarantine. I can definitely see how a basic case of cabin fever could be aggravating everyone's moods right now. I had a really nice talk with my boys and felt like they even liked me a bit for a little while. Baby steps, just like everything that really matters and lasts.
My daughter has been losing a lot of weight and you can tell by looking at her. She's becoming so much stronger and developing such great habits. I'm very proud of her. My husband has also been faithful in his workouts and eating choices. They are both doing so great. Now I just need to catch some of their stamina and pray the Lord pulls me out of this muck once and for all.
Big rest day
Date night with my three oldest
Today's Not So Good Things:
Still feeling emotionally spent/stressed/worn/you name it
Nothing much happened today other than me catching up on some sleep this morning, spending some extra time with my girlies, dealing with some more attitude issues with my son, and a feeling of "I really don't care" regarding the rest of life. I need to get out of this funk soon.
My numbers have been amazing low. Strangely low. I don't get it low. But, I'm not complaining. I'm just confused on how I can be not exercising, not *really* eating according to plan and seeing numbers like I am. The one thing I can think of is that I'm not eating enough at each meal. I know I'm not getting in the variety I should or the amounts I should. However, I'm feeling full. It's odd, but at least it means all is well for now.
I had a really nice time out with my three oldest tonight. I think we all needed the break since being under this month-long quarantine. I can definitely see how a basic case of cabin fever could be aggravating everyone's moods right now. I had a really nice talk with my boys and felt like they even liked me a bit for a little while. Baby steps, just like everything that really matters and lasts.
My daughter has been losing a lot of weight and you can tell by looking at her. She's becoming so much stronger and developing such great habits. I'm very proud of her. My husband has also been faithful in his workouts and eating choices. They are both doing so great. Now I just need to catch some of their stamina and pray the Lord pulls me out of this muck once and for all.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Disconnected
Literally.
Our internet and phone have been out for the last week. We're still in recovery mode, but the worst is over. A few ear infections got added into the mix, but eating right, loading up on the vit. c and laying low seems to have done the trick. I think I'm the last one with some residual sore throat and tiredness still lingering. Although, I believe the tiredness comes from my breathing issues at night that have started up again in the last 2 weeks. Lovely.
This past week has been an intense time with my boys in particular. I've been praying a LOT. I've been reading and searching for answers. I've been putting in overtime with them physically, mentally, and emotionally. It's not been easy, but I see little glimpses of progress here and there. Still waiting for a breakthrough of some kind, or even just some consistent movement forward. But, the Lord has been gracious is giving me direction and hope from His word. Oh, how I need the hope.
Afa my health otherwise, I'm doing fine. My numbers are all great. Very unexciting and I'll take it. I need to get back to some movement and exercise after the last two weeks of illness. For now, tackling laundry and housework has been my greatest feat.
I haven't caught up on the blogs and it may be awhile before I do. I hope you are all pressing on with courage, determination, and joy in your journeys. Thank you for your notes and thoughts for our family this week. :)
Our internet and phone have been out for the last week. We're still in recovery mode, but the worst is over. A few ear infections got added into the mix, but eating right, loading up on the vit. c and laying low seems to have done the trick. I think I'm the last one with some residual sore throat and tiredness still lingering. Although, I believe the tiredness comes from my breathing issues at night that have started up again in the last 2 weeks. Lovely.
This past week has been an intense time with my boys in particular. I've been praying a LOT. I've been reading and searching for answers. I've been putting in overtime with them physically, mentally, and emotionally. It's not been easy, but I see little glimpses of progress here and there. Still waiting for a breakthrough of some kind, or even just some consistent movement forward. But, the Lord has been gracious is giving me direction and hope from His word. Oh, how I need the hope.
Afa my health otherwise, I'm doing fine. My numbers are all great. Very unexciting and I'll take it. I need to get back to some movement and exercise after the last two weeks of illness. For now, tackling laundry and housework has been my greatest feat.
I haven't caught up on the blogs and it may be awhile before I do. I hope you are all pressing on with courage, determination, and joy in your journeys. Thank you for your notes and thoughts for our family this week. :)
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Sicko
That's me. It's finally made it's rounds and I'm joining the hacking crew. I hate this chesty congestion. But, it could be so much worse, so I guess I'll take it.
Met with the GD counselor today. Talked over meters and decided I can stick with the 10 units and hope to see my numbers stay nice and low. My fastings are good now, but not so low that it would lead us to believe I don't need the insulin at all. Especially as I am moving further into the third trimester.
Yikes. I feel like I've been pregnant SO long this time. Yet, when I think I'm in the third trimester, it somehow seems like it's going fast now. I'm definitely feeling like a third trimester lady. I'm not sleeping well. Can't breathe well. Moving slow and waddling more and more.
I'm hoping to end the week with more rest and some more catching up on housework. At least when we get back to regular schooling next week I'll feel good about the house.
I'd love to get into my outside walks again. With the stress we have around here, I know I need it. I just need to DO it. I mean, really, how bad can it get if I'm only gone for 15-20 minutes? Gulp.
Met with the GD counselor today. Talked over meters and decided I can stick with the 10 units and hope to see my numbers stay nice and low. My fastings are good now, but not so low that it would lead us to believe I don't need the insulin at all. Especially as I am moving further into the third trimester.
Yikes. I feel like I've been pregnant SO long this time. Yet, when I think I'm in the third trimester, it somehow seems like it's going fast now. I'm definitely feeling like a third trimester lady. I'm not sleeping well. Can't breathe well. Moving slow and waddling more and more.
I'm hoping to end the week with more rest and some more catching up on housework. At least when we get back to regular schooling next week I'll feel good about the house.
I'd love to get into my outside walks again. With the stress we have around here, I know I need it. I just need to DO it. I mean, really, how bad can it get if I'm only gone for 15-20 minutes? Gulp.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Spinning
Not the spinning exercise thing. ;)
I feel like I am spinning this week. One thing to the next with no real plan on what I'm doing or how I'm getting there. I'm up to my eyeballs in school issues. I've been working on the house some and catching up a bit on things while the children have been sick. I feel terribly emotional at every turn. Life feels very hard right now. A lot of stress and struggles. It just makes everything difficult, including getting out of bed some days.
My numbers continue to be completely fine. I'm sticking with my menu pretty much. I haven't gotten in any exercise aside from housework, projects and a tiny bit of play on the wii with some of the children today. Tomorrow I meet with the GD counselor again. I'm eager to see what her thoughts are concerning my last two weeks.
I'm feeling completely worn out. Yet, I found some hope today as a friend helped me develop a plan for the most immediate concern with one of my boys and his schooling. I need to keep working on finding plans like that because we still have a lot of issues to get some victory over. As an up note, my husband and I had a great discussion last night and have both renewed our commitment to pray for our children and each other.
Not sure when any of this is going to let up. But, I know I can trust the Lord to carry me through, accomplish His work, and make it possible to do the *more* that is being asked me now. My flesh tells me there is no way I can do or give more. Yet, I know that I can fully and even joyfully complete every bit of the work the Lord is laying out for me. Pray that I am only seeking His plans and pursuing His work.
I feel like I am spinning this week. One thing to the next with no real plan on what I'm doing or how I'm getting there. I'm up to my eyeballs in school issues. I've been working on the house some and catching up a bit on things while the children have been sick. I feel terribly emotional at every turn. Life feels very hard right now. A lot of stress and struggles. It just makes everything difficult, including getting out of bed some days.
My numbers continue to be completely fine. I'm sticking with my menu pretty much. I haven't gotten in any exercise aside from housework, projects and a tiny bit of play on the wii with some of the children today. Tomorrow I meet with the GD counselor again. I'm eager to see what her thoughts are concerning my last two weeks.
I'm feeling completely worn out. Yet, I found some hope today as a friend helped me develop a plan for the most immediate concern with one of my boys and his schooling. I need to keep working on finding plans like that because we still have a lot of issues to get some victory over. As an up note, my husband and I had a great discussion last night and have both renewed our commitment to pray for our children and each other.
Not sure when any of this is going to let up. But, I know I can trust the Lord to carry me through, accomplish His work, and make it possible to do the *more* that is being asked me now. My flesh tells me there is no way I can do or give more. Yet, I know that I can fully and even joyfully complete every bit of the work the Lord is laying out for me. Pray that I am only seeking His plans and pursuing His work.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Quick Update
I haven't journaled for a bit. My numbers have all been amazingly low. So much so, that I have even gotten a little lax on how I round out each meal. I'm still being cautious on portions and amounts of protein. Actually, what I've been lax about is not eating enough most of the time. I don't leave the table hungry, and with all these snacks, I guess it's just feeling hard to make my meals as large as the menu says they should be.
That said, I had 2 slices of Sam's pizza over the weekend while we were out shopping. I thought for sure it was going to do me in. Not so! My numbers were perfect! I don't get it because pizza before, especially 2 slices, would have sent me way over. Could be the meter. Could be insulin, I guess, even though I'm still only taking 10 units at bedtime. Could have been all the activity I had that day with shopping and such. Whatever it was, I'll take it!
I haven't been doing any official exercise. We have, however, been doing a lot of cleaning, purging, and moving as we are rearranging most every room in our house right now. My husband finished his last exam this past weekend (woohoo!) so we emptied his office and that leads to an avalanche of "newness". ;)
His new "thing", he declared, now that this year of studying and testing is over, is Diet and Exercise. I'm excited! First my daughter, now my hubby! It's amazing to watch everyone get excited about health and strength and want to do it together! A little weird it is happening now that I can't fully join in, but I'm so thankful. And, to be fair, I *am* working hard on my health, just not on weight loss, so I guess I am still part of the team. ;) Just need to focus a bit more on strength than I have been.
The last two days I've worked hard at rearranging shelves, books, toys, furniture, you name it. Today is going to be a rest day while I catch up on grading and school stuff. I'm hoping to get out for a walk after lunch, though. I have one here who has been super hard to love and I think a walk for the two of us would be a good thing.
My daughter and husband have been planning a family celebration for Valentine's day. She's planning to make some mini-muffins for our dessert so we have something more "healthy". Love that girl. I'm feeling a little bad that I'm not real involved in the planning and prep. But, honestly, I'm feeling swamped right now with duties and I just can't keep up. So, I'm choosing to be blessed and enjoy their efforts. :)
Blessings to you all this Valentine's day! Enjoy your treats, but remember to strive for balance as well as grace!!
That said, I had 2 slices of Sam's pizza over the weekend while we were out shopping. I thought for sure it was going to do me in. Not so! My numbers were perfect! I don't get it because pizza before, especially 2 slices, would have sent me way over. Could be the meter. Could be insulin, I guess, even though I'm still only taking 10 units at bedtime. Could have been all the activity I had that day with shopping and such. Whatever it was, I'll take it!
I haven't been doing any official exercise. We have, however, been doing a lot of cleaning, purging, and moving as we are rearranging most every room in our house right now. My husband finished his last exam this past weekend (woohoo!) so we emptied his office and that leads to an avalanche of "newness". ;)
His new "thing", he declared, now that this year of studying and testing is over, is Diet and Exercise. I'm excited! First my daughter, now my hubby! It's amazing to watch everyone get excited about health and strength and want to do it together! A little weird it is happening now that I can't fully join in, but I'm so thankful. And, to be fair, I *am* working hard on my health, just not on weight loss, so I guess I am still part of the team. ;) Just need to focus a bit more on strength than I have been.
The last two days I've worked hard at rearranging shelves, books, toys, furniture, you name it. Today is going to be a rest day while I catch up on grading and school stuff. I'm hoping to get out for a walk after lunch, though. I have one here who has been super hard to love and I think a walk for the two of us would be a good thing.
My daughter and husband have been planning a family celebration for Valentine's day. She's planning to make some mini-muffins for our dessert so we have something more "healthy". Love that girl. I'm feeling a little bad that I'm not real involved in the planning and prep. But, honestly, I'm feeling swamped right now with duties and I just can't keep up. So, I'm choosing to be blessed and enjoy their efforts. :)
Blessings to you all this Valentine's day! Enjoy your treats, but remember to strive for balance as well as grace!!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Wednesday February 8, 2012
Today's Good Things:
ummmm....I rested...a LOT
I ate along the lines of my meal plan
Today's Not So Good Things:
I keep forgetting to test!! Argh.
Woke up feeling blech and just stayed that way
Today was just a gray day. You know, like that Dr. Suess book about colors? A gray day...nothing moves today. That's how I felt and acted. Pretty much just kept up with checking school work and directing children. Not sure if I'm feeling as physically ill as just emotionally worn. Maybe I just needed a day to rest and tomorrow will find me up and ready to go. This week is high stress for our family, especially my husband. He sits for his final exam on Saturday, so he's quite preoccupied and feeling anxious about that. Your prayers are greatly appreciated for him to finish strong. It would be so wonderful to have this year of testing behind us and not have him have to retake it again this summer while we adjust to a newborn.
I'm looking forward to a quiet evening until I can eat my snack, take my shot, and finally crash. I hope you ladies had a *much* more active day than I did here! ;)
ummmm....I rested...a LOT
I ate along the lines of my meal plan
Today's Not So Good Things:
I keep forgetting to test!! Argh.
Woke up feeling blech and just stayed that way
Today was just a gray day. You know, like that Dr. Suess book about colors? A gray day...nothing moves today. That's how I felt and acted. Pretty much just kept up with checking school work and directing children. Not sure if I'm feeling as physically ill as just emotionally worn. Maybe I just needed a day to rest and tomorrow will find me up and ready to go. This week is high stress for our family, especially my husband. He sits for his final exam on Saturday, so he's quite preoccupied and feeling anxious about that. Your prayers are greatly appreciated for him to finish strong. It would be so wonderful to have this year of testing behind us and not have him have to retake it again this summer while we adjust to a newborn.
I'm looking forward to a quiet evening until I can eat my snack, take my shot, and finally crash. I hope you ladies had a *much* more active day than I did here! ;)
A Cartoon For Heather
The proper way to weigh yourself:
I thought of you and your adorable cartoons as soon as I saw this, Heather. Thanks for always bringing a smile to our hearts and faces. :D
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Tuesday February 7, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Good start to our day - the children especially had a strong start with choring and such even if we were behind the clock)
My numbers have been ideal, lower than I've ever seen with the new meter
MUCH better day with the boys today....and answer to many prayers
Stayed right with my one boy and helped him through his biggest school struggles
Big score at the thrift store today
Today's Not So Good Things:
No exercise
Dinner hour should have been renamed Crazy Hour. Yikes.
Attitudes may have been good, but the diligence and thoroughness for work is still lacking big time
Thank you so much for your empathy and prayer for us, ladies. Today was much, much better for everyone. I saw real humility and it made all the difference. We still have a long way to go, but at least there is hope that it's possible again. Please continue to pray for my heart to remain tender and willing to press on sowing these seeds of faith, even in tears. "Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting. (She) who goes to and fro weeping, carrying her bag of seed, shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing her sheaves with (her)." Psalm 126:5 (this verse has been posted in my home for years. I am putting it up again to encourage me through this difficult season.)
Tonight we enjoyed one of our favorites, Chinese Cabbage Salad. I posted the recipe on my recipe page. We were blessed with a huge bag of shredded cabbage this week, so we had enough to make another large salad for David to take to work to share with the other Bean-Counters. I'm still trying to send at least one thing a week for him to bless his co-workers.
This week is another one filled with activities and meetings. I'm starting to feel like I am not home enough to keep up with the most pressing issues of our days. I need to pray about how to best handle this, as each activity is important in our family. Thankfully, I've been able to stick with my diet through the busy-ness.
It's great to hear so many of you are seeing the scale go down, the inches disappear, and noticeable changes in your bodies, both in appearance and in how you feel. You are all doing wonderful and are motivating me to get right on my new goals in just a few short months. :)
Good start to our day - the children especially had a strong start with choring and such even if we were behind the clock)
My numbers have been ideal, lower than I've ever seen with the new meter
MUCH better day with the boys today....and answer to many prayers
Stayed right with my one boy and helped him through his biggest school struggles
Big score at the thrift store today
Today's Not So Good Things:
No exercise
Dinner hour should have been renamed Crazy Hour. Yikes.
Attitudes may have been good, but the diligence and thoroughness for work is still lacking big time
Thank you so much for your empathy and prayer for us, ladies. Today was much, much better for everyone. I saw real humility and it made all the difference. We still have a long way to go, but at least there is hope that it's possible again. Please continue to pray for my heart to remain tender and willing to press on sowing these seeds of faith, even in tears. "Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting. (She) who goes to and fro weeping, carrying her bag of seed, shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing her sheaves with (her)." Psalm 126:5 (this verse has been posted in my home for years. I am putting it up again to encourage me through this difficult season.)
Tonight we enjoyed one of our favorites, Chinese Cabbage Salad. I posted the recipe on my recipe page. We were blessed with a huge bag of shredded cabbage this week, so we had enough to make another large salad for David to take to work to share with the other Bean-Counters. I'm still trying to send at least one thing a week for him to bless his co-workers.
This week is another one filled with activities and meetings. I'm starting to feel like I am not home enough to keep up with the most pressing issues of our days. I need to pray about how to best handle this, as each activity is important in our family. Thankfully, I've been able to stick with my diet through the busy-ness.
It's great to hear so many of you are seeing the scale go down, the inches disappear, and noticeable changes in your bodies, both in appearance and in how you feel. You are all doing wonderful and are motivating me to get right on my new goals in just a few short months. :)
Monday, February 6, 2012
Monday February 6, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Up on time
A full hour of bible, journal and journaled in Baby's book
Lovely family devotions
Numbers perfect all day
Today's Not So Good Things:
Had the most difficult day ever with my boys. Sigh. I'm feeling so completely defeated with them.
My husband had to come home early to work through the issues. That = guilt on my part for him having to leave the office during this busy season.
Today was so incredibly hard. I am emotionally fried. No sense in going into great detail. But, I covet any prayers you have for me as a mother and our family. My husband and I are both at the end of ourselves and feel so lost. If we don't find the right way to handle things soon, I'm sure I'm going to be dealing with blood pressure issues too. :(
I started using the new meter last night because my after dinner number was so insanely high I just couldn't believe it was correct. Sure enough, the new meter is reading at least 10 points lower than the one I've been using all along. This morning the old meter read 93 at fasting while the new read 79. Needless to say, I've switched to the new meter for now. But, I can't help wondering if the new meter would have kept me away from the insulin altogether. I will probably make myself crazy thinking like that. The counselor is calling this week, so I'll talk it out with her. For now, I'll stick with my current amount of insulin, since this morning's number was well below the goal.
Up on time
A full hour of bible, journal and journaled in Baby's book
Lovely family devotions
Numbers perfect all day
Today's Not So Good Things:
Had the most difficult day ever with my boys. Sigh. I'm feeling so completely defeated with them.
My husband had to come home early to work through the issues. That = guilt on my part for him having to leave the office during this busy season.
Today was so incredibly hard. I am emotionally fried. No sense in going into great detail. But, I covet any prayers you have for me as a mother and our family. My husband and I are both at the end of ourselves and feel so lost. If we don't find the right way to handle things soon, I'm sure I'm going to be dealing with blood pressure issues too. :(
I started using the new meter last night because my after dinner number was so insanely high I just couldn't believe it was correct. Sure enough, the new meter is reading at least 10 points lower than the one I've been using all along. This morning the old meter read 93 at fasting while the new read 79. Needless to say, I've switched to the new meter for now. But, I can't help wondering if the new meter would have kept me away from the insulin altogether. I will probably make myself crazy thinking like that. The counselor is calling this week, so I'll talk it out with her. For now, I'll stick with my current amount of insulin, since this morning's number was well below the goal.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Friday February 3, 2012
I. Am. Exhausted.
We went on a great field trip today with some of our dearest friends. We had such a great time.
But, with all that walking and standing and driving, I can barely move. My back is killing me. My legs are sore. My feet are aching. My head is hurting. Just everywhere is ouch.
My morning was off. We were so rushed getting out the door that I completely forgot to test after breakfast. My after lunch number was great, though. My fasting was still a little high. We'll see tomorrow what number I get and if I'll need to up my insulin or not.
I'm having a hard time remembering to test 1 hour after eating since I was used to 2 hours. I'll get it, though. I have to be up super early tomorrow. I so wish I could just go to bed now, but I need to keep myself awake to eat and take my shot. Bah.
We went on a great field trip today with some of our dearest friends. We had such a great time.
But, with all that walking and standing and driving, I can barely move. My back is killing me. My legs are sore. My feet are aching. My head is hurting. Just everywhere is ouch.
My morning was off. We were so rushed getting out the door that I completely forgot to test after breakfast. My after lunch number was great, though. My fasting was still a little high. We'll see tomorrow what number I get and if I'll need to up my insulin or not.
I'm having a hard time remembering to test 1 hour after eating since I was used to 2 hours. I'll get it, though. I have to be up super early tomorrow. I so wish I could just go to bed now, but I need to keep myself awake to eat and take my shot. Bah.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Thursday February 2, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Slept in until family devotions. Felt SO good.
I kept up with all the crazy busy-ness of this day
Very good appt. with the GD counselor
Amazing provision from the Lord!
All my numbers were good except my fasting
Today's Not So Good Things:
All the running I did today left no time for exercise
I just got home from my hs meeting and I Can't Sleep!
Saw my husband for all of a half hour today. :(
I'm skipping the food diary and numbers today just because it feels like too much work. I did record it all on my chart, though. My fasting was 96, lower than normal but still not low enough.
My appt with the GD counselor was wonderful. She was so helpful and kind. She showered me with freebies because she knew we were self-pay and wanted to do all she could to help us out. I got a free meter and a pack of 50 test strips. That's a blessing! AND she gave me a voucher so my first vial of insulin was FREE!!! ($70 value) Thank You, Lord!!
We went over my menu and numbers. She was kind and very pleased with the plan I am using. She said I dont' need to change anything but to keep up what I am doing and to work at staying faithful to the exercise after each meal. So, the fact that I am now an insulin dependant GD isn't through any fault of my own. That means something probably only to me. But, along the lines of my recent post, it's an encouragement to me that I *am* doing what is right and best even if the results aren't what I had hoped. I can rest in moving forward knowing that I am walking in faithfulness and that this is clearly God's best for me right now. Another blessing is that I got that first insulin shot in tonight and it wasn't anywhere near as scary as I had feared. The unknown has been conquered. ;-)
So, now we see how my body reacts to this dosage and how it needs to change from here. Currently, she prescribed the lowest dose and I will then adjust as my numbers reveal. I liked her so well. I truly am blessed. From the beginning of this pregnancy I knew everything would be different and hard. Yet, when we finally found the Lord's place for us, I have been so blessed at each turn. I feared I would be shunned. I feared I would be ridiculed. I feared I would be attacked and forced into things against my beliefs. Instead, the Lord has blessed me with kind, supportive, understanding, and respectful people every step of the way. What a mighty God we serve. :)
Slept in until family devotions. Felt SO good.
I kept up with all the crazy busy-ness of this day
Very good appt. with the GD counselor
Amazing provision from the Lord!
All my numbers were good except my fasting
Today's Not So Good Things:
All the running I did today left no time for exercise
I just got home from my hs meeting and I Can't Sleep!
Saw my husband for all of a half hour today. :(
I'm skipping the food diary and numbers today just because it feels like too much work. I did record it all on my chart, though. My fasting was 96, lower than normal but still not low enough.
My appt with the GD counselor was wonderful. She was so helpful and kind. She showered me with freebies because she knew we were self-pay and wanted to do all she could to help us out. I got a free meter and a pack of 50 test strips. That's a blessing! AND she gave me a voucher so my first vial of insulin was FREE!!! ($70 value) Thank You, Lord!!
We went over my menu and numbers. She was kind and very pleased with the plan I am using. She said I dont' need to change anything but to keep up what I am doing and to work at staying faithful to the exercise after each meal. So, the fact that I am now an insulin dependant GD isn't through any fault of my own. That means something probably only to me. But, along the lines of my recent post, it's an encouragement to me that I *am* doing what is right and best even if the results aren't what I had hoped. I can rest in moving forward knowing that I am walking in faithfulness and that this is clearly God's best for me right now. Another blessing is that I got that first insulin shot in tonight and it wasn't anywhere near as scary as I had feared. The unknown has been conquered. ;-)
So, now we see how my body reacts to this dosage and how it needs to change from here. Currently, she prescribed the lowest dose and I will then adjust as my numbers reveal. I liked her so well. I truly am blessed. From the beginning of this pregnancy I knew everything would be different and hard. Yet, when we finally found the Lord's place for us, I have been so blessed at each turn. I feared I would be shunned. I feared I would be ridiculed. I feared I would be attacked and forced into things against my beliefs. Instead, the Lord has blessed me with kind, supportive, understanding, and respectful people every step of the way. What a mighty God we serve. :)
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Tuesday January 31, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Up on time
Followed meal plan
30 min exercise before lunch
My husband got home about an hour early and brought me a treat so we could still have a bit of date night
Sorted baby clothes
Evening stretch with my Ruthy
Today's Not So Good Things:
Felt down and defeated most of the day
Fasting number highest yet
Short on patience with the littles
Today's Food Choices and Numbers:
Fasting: 108
Breakfast: Chicken thigh
After: 107
Snack: english muffin with pb
Lunch: Grilled turkey ham and cheese on ww, carrot sticks, clementine
After: 111
Snack: pb sandwich crackers, handful of pretzels
Dinner: eggs scrambled with bacon and cheese, 1 piece rye toast w/ butter, clementine
After: 111
Snack: buffalo chicken sub (about 4 inch)
I did get in grains today and I guess I did okay with them. I noticed, though, that I was eating less at my meals than the meal plan suggests. Personally, I don't mind. I always feel like it's too much for me. Maybe this will be part of the trick to keep my numbers on course. I've also dropped having milk at my meals, also suggested by the GD diet. I find I do crave milk while pg, but I also know that since I'm drinking skim, it's basically just sugar going down. With as much yogurt and cheese as I'm getting, I'm not concerned about losing the calcium and I don't believe there's much else to the store bought milk. We'll see what happens in the coming days with decreasing the amount of foods at each meal. I don't walk away from a meal hungry, so I'm not concerned with baby's growth at this point.
So after a tough day, my sweet husband called to say he was going to be home by 8pm. That was especially nice since Tuesdays are our normally scheduled date night. We've had to set that aside now that he's wearing an accountant's hat again and working tax season hours. When he got home, he had a special treat for me. Half his sub he had at dinner. He knows I love buffalo chicken. :) So, since I've been experimenting with my evening snack and haven't found anything that is working, I decided to enjoy the treat he brought for me and have it for my snack. It was yummy. ;)
Sorted baby clothes today. They're in the wash and tomorrow I can have fun folding, hanging and setting up Baby Dear's dresser. Folded laundry with my two oldest girls tonight which was very sweet. Got in 30min on Wii Fit this morning since I knew I wouldn't be out for an afternoon walk. We have sewing lessons after lunch and it was snowing most of the day. Walking in snow is fun, but not when it's covering the ice on the road. Not ready to take the chance of slipping with Baby. Did notice that I was about .5 pound down today from last week. That varies for so many reasons that I don't pay much attention. Just glad to see I haven't gained any huge amounts. Another good sign on the GD front.
Praying tomorrow gives me a good start. My husband doesn't have to leave early so we'll be together for family devotions. That's always a better start to my day. I just want to be motivated to work hard and do well. That's my prayer.
Also, I updated my "Tools" button to include my description of the Wii games we use at our house. I listed the two that give the most exercise. The other games we have are Wii Sports, Wii Sports Resort, and Cabella's Summer Camp (or something like that). We've purposed to keep the game choices focused on exercise and activity rather than games and fantasy type play. Just our preference.
Up on time
Followed meal plan
30 min exercise before lunch
My husband got home about an hour early and brought me a treat so we could still have a bit of date night
Sorted baby clothes
Evening stretch with my Ruthy
Today's Not So Good Things:
Felt down and defeated most of the day
Fasting number highest yet
Short on patience with the littles
Today's Food Choices and Numbers:
Fasting: 108
Breakfast: Chicken thigh
After: 107
Snack: english muffin with pb
Lunch: Grilled turkey ham and cheese on ww, carrot sticks, clementine
After: 111
Snack: pb sandwich crackers, handful of pretzels
Dinner: eggs scrambled with bacon and cheese, 1 piece rye toast w/ butter, clementine
After: 111
Snack: buffalo chicken sub (about 4 inch)
I did get in grains today and I guess I did okay with them. I noticed, though, that I was eating less at my meals than the meal plan suggests. Personally, I don't mind. I always feel like it's too much for me. Maybe this will be part of the trick to keep my numbers on course. I've also dropped having milk at my meals, also suggested by the GD diet. I find I do crave milk while pg, but I also know that since I'm drinking skim, it's basically just sugar going down. With as much yogurt and cheese as I'm getting, I'm not concerned about losing the calcium and I don't believe there's much else to the store bought milk. We'll see what happens in the coming days with decreasing the amount of foods at each meal. I don't walk away from a meal hungry, so I'm not concerned with baby's growth at this point.
So after a tough day, my sweet husband called to say he was going to be home by 8pm. That was especially nice since Tuesdays are our normally scheduled date night. We've had to set that aside now that he's wearing an accountant's hat again and working tax season hours. When he got home, he had a special treat for me. Half his sub he had at dinner. He knows I love buffalo chicken. :) So, since I've been experimenting with my evening snack and haven't found anything that is working, I decided to enjoy the treat he brought for me and have it for my snack. It was yummy. ;)
Sorted baby clothes today. They're in the wash and tomorrow I can have fun folding, hanging and setting up Baby Dear's dresser. Folded laundry with my two oldest girls tonight which was very sweet. Got in 30min on Wii Fit this morning since I knew I wouldn't be out for an afternoon walk. We have sewing lessons after lunch and it was snowing most of the day. Walking in snow is fun, but not when it's covering the ice on the road. Not ready to take the chance of slipping with Baby. Did notice that I was about .5 pound down today from last week. That varies for so many reasons that I don't pay much attention. Just glad to see I haven't gained any huge amounts. Another good sign on the GD front.
Praying tomorrow gives me a good start. My husband doesn't have to leave early so we'll be together for family devotions. That's always a better start to my day. I just want to be motivated to work hard and do well. That's my prayer.
Also, I updated my "Tools" button to include my description of the Wii games we use at our house. I listed the two that give the most exercise. The other games we have are Wii Sports, Wii Sports Resort, and Cabella's Summer Camp (or something like that). We've purposed to keep the game choices focused on exercise and activity rather than games and fantasy type play. Just our preference.
Willpower?
This morning I had my highest fasting number to date. I feel so silly to admit this, but it nearly brought me to tears. I am battling so many feelings of failure this morning and it's showing in my attitude, efforts, and stamina. I really just want to give up. Not for good. But, for today I want to just walk away from all the balls that I'm juggling and let them fall. So, what did I do? I pouted. I read a bit. I prayed, half-heartedly. I ignored my exercise. I sat and felt sorry for myself and then got up and vacuumed a couple rooms in the house. At least I can feel depressed with clean floors. ;)
So, as I sit working on minor things to just keep my day plugging along, I received this comment from a dear friend on my post last night:
Tracy I want you to know that I have been having a hard week this week and whenever I wanted to give up I thought of you and your will power! You are wonderful!
So, yeah. Now the tears are freely flowing.
Ladies, if I had any willpower, I would surely NOT be in the place I am now. I have never seen myself as someone who is strong or terribly self-disciplined. I do know that I have some strong insecurities regarding perfectionism and failure. I struggle daily with fears that I will somehow let someone down in some way. I suppose this could easily be seen as *willpower* or stamina. Honestly, it's sinful pride and fear that most often drives me when I am left to my own devices.
This is why this journey has always been about my walk with the Lord. From the beginning, even when not pregnant, I could force myself to do everything "right". I could follow a plan well and work to impress the class. However, my efforts were in vain because they never brought about the results I longed for.
This is what it looks like when I use my own strength:
When I would eat the perfect amount of calories combined with the right amount of activity, I would still lose at half the rate I "should" have been losing. Fail.
When I would adjust my percentages of protein versus carbs, raw foods versus cooked, whole foods versus junk, I would still see the same results. Fail.
When I would press harder to exercise. Push aside other priorities believing that my health and weight loss was far more important because I only had so much time to accomplish it, I still saw the same results. Except I added losing ground in other important areas, adding to my struggle. Fail and Fail.
And now, when I had been working to hold off on a pregnancy, knowing that losing weight was crucial to avoiding the GD and a healthy pregnancy, I still saw the blessing of those two pink lines. Well, there was nothing I could do but trust the Lord had a plan even though I felt I had let Him down. Again.
I walked into this pregnancy armed with education and experience from my last GD experience. I was determined I would "beat it" and "win" this time. Yet, here I sit, barely half way through...not even to the third trimester when a pregnant body *starts* to struggle with blood sugars and I'm already sunk. My friends, my research, and my brain tell me that it's foolish to believe this lie. But, my heart still does. Fail.
This is when the Lord steps in. This when He shows me just how far from the truth I really am. This challenge to right the wrongs I've done in my life regarding my body are not about losing weight, winning a battle against diabetes, or avoiding a dreaded medicated hospital birth. Truly, those are good aims. Who would fault me for working so hard to get healthy so that I can keep a baby safe during pregnancy? Yet, this isn't about me. This is about me giving glory to my Lord.
The truth is that whatsoever I do, whether I eat or drink, whether I fast or cleanse, whether I exercise or rest, it is ALL to be done to the glory of God. Not to my hope for results. Not to my joy at a number on a scale. Not to the satisfaction of a smaller size. Every striving, every effort, every choice is to be for HIM and the glory HE will receive, not to myself.
This changes my perspective on this journey. It becomes not the THING *I* do, but a PART of the THING that *God* is doing in me. It is as important as the work He does to create patience in me as I work with my children in their daily tasks. It is as important as the work He is doing to empty me of myself as I strive to love and respect my husband as unto the Lord. It is as important as the work He is doing to press me beyond my comfort levels and into areas of forgiveness with extended family. It is all connected because it is all about how He is at work to change me into His image.
And this is why the results should not matter because the results are not my work to be done. My Lord has called me to be faithful in my efforts and to trust Him with the results. He has commanded me to trust and obey as He does His work. He has set forth in His word clear directions on how I should live my life in all ways and this is where my focus needs be. I am to strive, to pour out my life, to give all my energy to obey the commands He has placed on my life, allowing Him to choose the results that will honor Him most. And this means the results in my parenting, marriage, home, ministry, as well as my physical health.
So, how am I applying this principle? Not very well today. Today my eyes have gotten off course and focused again on the results that I cannot control. I have once again attempted to take back control and responsibility for that which I have no business handling. I've already proven time and again that when I am in control, the results will not be pleasing to myself or to Him. What I need to do is to return to the truth that this is all about Him and the work He is about. Not only in my life, my baby's life, but surely His plan spreads far beyond my mind's eye. To know that He desires to use my efforts, my struggles, even my failings to bring Him glory and reveal Himself strong gives me hope. It gives me purpose. It causes me to remember my place in this work. To remain faithful, to keep His words always before me, to trust His judgement, and to every moment ask for His strength to do the right thing.
I will answer one day not for the number on the scale or the number on the meter. I will answer for my obedience to make right choices. I will answer for my diligence to learn and equip myself with the best knowledge I can find to make those right choices. I will answer for my idleness versus my activity. I will answer for my efforts to stay on course, regardless of the outcome.
I think of my last labor. I was given a short amount of time to birth my baby before they would put me on meds. I was angry and felt cheated to be forced in this manner. Yet, I took that to motivate me to give everything I had to do what I believed was best for the birth of our baby. I spent an entire day pushing myself to accomplish this goal only to be faced with the fact that my body wouldn't comply. When I finally agreed to the meds it was with a heart of peace. I knew that even if I was being forced into what wasn't *best* for our little one or myself, I had done everything in my power to do what was best. It was now time to allow the Lord to work out His best and accept the results as He had planned. I will never regret my efforts in that time. I had the satisfaction of knowing I had done everything I could to remain faithful and strong to the end. I had finished well and that allowed me to rest fully in the next step of His plan.
I need to keep that memory in my heart in the coming months. Giving up is not an option. Yet, I don't see my ability to press on as *willpower*. It is simply the work of the Holy Spirit in me keeping me from whatever false sense of strength I think I can or can't muster up. It is amazing to see that the Lord would choose such a vessel as me to accomplish His work. That leaves me humbled and ever more eager to continue on. To think that anyone else would see anything in me that would cause them to have courage, well, that can only be the work of the Lord. And for that, I am blessed to be used as a part of His plan.
Writing this out was what I needed today. Thank you, Lord for your truth and the ability to discern it from the constant barrage of easily believed lies that surround me. Please, let me remember that my choices, my work, my strivings bring you glory even if the results don't seem to match.
So, as I sit working on minor things to just keep my day plugging along, I received this comment from a dear friend on my post last night:
Tracy I want you to know that I have been having a hard week this week and whenever I wanted to give up I thought of you and your will power! You are wonderful!
So, yeah. Now the tears are freely flowing.
Ladies, if I had any willpower, I would surely NOT be in the place I am now. I have never seen myself as someone who is strong or terribly self-disciplined. I do know that I have some strong insecurities regarding perfectionism and failure. I struggle daily with fears that I will somehow let someone down in some way. I suppose this could easily be seen as *willpower* or stamina. Honestly, it's sinful pride and fear that most often drives me when I am left to my own devices.
This is why this journey has always been about my walk with the Lord. From the beginning, even when not pregnant, I could force myself to do everything "right". I could follow a plan well and work to impress the class. However, my efforts were in vain because they never brought about the results I longed for.
This is what it looks like when I use my own strength:
When I would eat the perfect amount of calories combined with the right amount of activity, I would still lose at half the rate I "should" have been losing. Fail.
When I would adjust my percentages of protein versus carbs, raw foods versus cooked, whole foods versus junk, I would still see the same results. Fail.
When I would press harder to exercise. Push aside other priorities believing that my health and weight loss was far more important because I only had so much time to accomplish it, I still saw the same results. Except I added losing ground in other important areas, adding to my struggle. Fail and Fail.
And now, when I had been working to hold off on a pregnancy, knowing that losing weight was crucial to avoiding the GD and a healthy pregnancy, I still saw the blessing of those two pink lines. Well, there was nothing I could do but trust the Lord had a plan even though I felt I had let Him down. Again.
I walked into this pregnancy armed with education and experience from my last GD experience. I was determined I would "beat it" and "win" this time. Yet, here I sit, barely half way through...not even to the third trimester when a pregnant body *starts* to struggle with blood sugars and I'm already sunk. My friends, my research, and my brain tell me that it's foolish to believe this lie. But, my heart still does. Fail.
This is when the Lord steps in. This when He shows me just how far from the truth I really am. This challenge to right the wrongs I've done in my life regarding my body are not about losing weight, winning a battle against diabetes, or avoiding a dreaded medicated hospital birth. Truly, those are good aims. Who would fault me for working so hard to get healthy so that I can keep a baby safe during pregnancy? Yet, this isn't about me. This is about me giving glory to my Lord.
The truth is that whatsoever I do, whether I eat or drink, whether I fast or cleanse, whether I exercise or rest, it is ALL to be done to the glory of God. Not to my hope for results. Not to my joy at a number on a scale. Not to the satisfaction of a smaller size. Every striving, every effort, every choice is to be for HIM and the glory HE will receive, not to myself.
This changes my perspective on this journey. It becomes not the THING *I* do, but a PART of the THING that *God* is doing in me. It is as important as the work He does to create patience in me as I work with my children in their daily tasks. It is as important as the work He is doing to empty me of myself as I strive to love and respect my husband as unto the Lord. It is as important as the work He is doing to press me beyond my comfort levels and into areas of forgiveness with extended family. It is all connected because it is all about how He is at work to change me into His image.
And this is why the results should not matter because the results are not my work to be done. My Lord has called me to be faithful in my efforts and to trust Him with the results. He has commanded me to trust and obey as He does His work. He has set forth in His word clear directions on how I should live my life in all ways and this is where my focus needs be. I am to strive, to pour out my life, to give all my energy to obey the commands He has placed on my life, allowing Him to choose the results that will honor Him most. And this means the results in my parenting, marriage, home, ministry, as well as my physical health.
So, how am I applying this principle? Not very well today. Today my eyes have gotten off course and focused again on the results that I cannot control. I have once again attempted to take back control and responsibility for that which I have no business handling. I've already proven time and again that when I am in control, the results will not be pleasing to myself or to Him. What I need to do is to return to the truth that this is all about Him and the work He is about. Not only in my life, my baby's life, but surely His plan spreads far beyond my mind's eye. To know that He desires to use my efforts, my struggles, even my failings to bring Him glory and reveal Himself strong gives me hope. It gives me purpose. It causes me to remember my place in this work. To remain faithful, to keep His words always before me, to trust His judgement, and to every moment ask for His strength to do the right thing.
I will answer one day not for the number on the scale or the number on the meter. I will answer for my obedience to make right choices. I will answer for my diligence to learn and equip myself with the best knowledge I can find to make those right choices. I will answer for my idleness versus my activity. I will answer for my efforts to stay on course, regardless of the outcome.
I think of my last labor. I was given a short amount of time to birth my baby before they would put me on meds. I was angry and felt cheated to be forced in this manner. Yet, I took that to motivate me to give everything I had to do what I believed was best for the birth of our baby. I spent an entire day pushing myself to accomplish this goal only to be faced with the fact that my body wouldn't comply. When I finally agreed to the meds it was with a heart of peace. I knew that even if I was being forced into what wasn't *best* for our little one or myself, I had done everything in my power to do what was best. It was now time to allow the Lord to work out His best and accept the results as He had planned. I will never regret my efforts in that time. I had the satisfaction of knowing I had done everything I could to remain faithful and strong to the end. I had finished well and that allowed me to rest fully in the next step of His plan.
I need to keep that memory in my heart in the coming months. Giving up is not an option. Yet, I don't see my ability to press on as *willpower*. It is simply the work of the Holy Spirit in me keeping me from whatever false sense of strength I think I can or can't muster up. It is amazing to see that the Lord would choose such a vessel as me to accomplish His work. That leaves me humbled and ever more eager to continue on. To think that anyone else would see anything in me that would cause them to have courage, well, that can only be the work of the Lord. And for that, I am blessed to be used as a part of His plan.
Writing this out was what I needed today. Thank you, Lord for your truth and the ability to discern it from the constant barrage of easily believed lies that surround me. Please, let me remember that my choices, my work, my strivings bring you glory even if the results don't seem to match.
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