That's some crazy news!
I haven't exercised formally in the last five days, possibly even 7. My broken toes and how busy we've been with life have given me great excuse to put off the workouts.
However, I was so restless yesterday, I knew I had to get in some exercise. And a weigh-in. Gulp.
I was thrilled to see that even with an afternoon weigh-in, my weight was down a little. After eating grain-heavy for David's bday, I was a little scared to see the scale.
Then we went out for dinner last night. Fried mushrooms and restaurant bread. Yeah. Double doom.
The scale was down AGAIN this morning!! In fact, since my last weigh-in, I'm down almost TWO pounds!! Now, that's an impressive loss without exercise. :D
Bonus: I got in a BWP this morning. Whew! My heart works a lot harder with that one than the wii fit yoga stuff. I've got an accountability friend now for T-Tapp, so I'm hoping that will motivate me to work hard at getting in a daily workout with Ms. Tapp. :) I did notice that, even while the T-Tapp Twist still brought that same cringe to my brain when I started, I didn't feel quite as *un-able* during it as usual. In fact, part way through, I felt a bit energized. That's progress!
We're on break this week from school. I've got some sitting projects to do, some visiting, too. But, we do have some active stuff we can work on, like yard clean up and cleaning and setting up the attic space.
So ambitious. I honestly would love to just take a nap at some point as well.
Here's the link to our family blog where I posted pics of our Birthday Brunch Feast that we made for David. There are links for recipes there. :)
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Wednesday, July 7, 2013
Today felt hard.
I woke up late because I stayed up too late. I felt tired and dealing with a lack of motivation most of the day.
I still got our schooling done, got in 3 session of exercise. Though, my pre-lunch didn't happen until well after lunch. I still got in three bits of activity with my three meals.
I'm feeling a little uninspired with food. Maybe just bored. We made veggie wraps today. Big bowl of lettuce and all manner of vegetables, fruit, beans, and nuts to fill it. I was actually REALLY wanting to make a wrap for myself. It was HARD to build a salad and not enjoy that chew tortilla wrapped around it. I took a LONG time to eat my salad. But, I was glad at the end that I didn't have the bread/grains.
When dinner came around, I was equally down. None of the leftovers seemed good to me. I ended up with a small bowl of beans and a green apple with a few little pieces of walnut. I was feeling bad that I didn't have more greens or vegetables. That apple is a lot of sugar. But, I was just plain worn out and didn't want to work so hard at feeding myself. At least I stayed on course, right? It wasn't quite the level of nutrition it should be, but it wasn't anti-nutrient either.
I need to find a good balance between prepping foods and getting school done. This is getting hard to do both.
I didn't weigh in this morning. I'm a little scared to see that the number that I was at yesterday go up because it was in error or something.
I did got with David tonight to try some tennis. First time we've played alone. I need to change the name of that game to Chase-Balls cause that's pretty much all I did.
I woke up late because I stayed up too late. I felt tired and dealing with a lack of motivation most of the day.
I still got our schooling done, got in 3 session of exercise. Though, my pre-lunch didn't happen until well after lunch. I still got in three bits of activity with my three meals.
I'm feeling a little uninspired with food. Maybe just bored. We made veggie wraps today. Big bowl of lettuce and all manner of vegetables, fruit, beans, and nuts to fill it. I was actually REALLY wanting to make a wrap for myself. It was HARD to build a salad and not enjoy that chew tortilla wrapped around it. I took a LONG time to eat my salad. But, I was glad at the end that I didn't have the bread/grains.
When dinner came around, I was equally down. None of the leftovers seemed good to me. I ended up with a small bowl of beans and a green apple with a few little pieces of walnut. I was feeling bad that I didn't have more greens or vegetables. That apple is a lot of sugar. But, I was just plain worn out and didn't want to work so hard at feeding myself. At least I stayed on course, right? It wasn't quite the level of nutrition it should be, but it wasn't anti-nutrient either.
I need to find a good balance between prepping foods and getting school done. This is getting hard to do both.
I didn't weigh in this morning. I'm a little scared to see that the number that I was at yesterday go up because it was in error or something.
I did got with David tonight to try some tennis. First time we've played alone. I need to change the name of that game to Chase-Balls cause that's pretty much all I did.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Day 2 - Vice Busting
January 29 - Day 2
Scripture Affirmation:
The God of hope fills me with joy and peace as I trust in Him.
"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
Action: Build the habit of having water with you at all time. Determine the amount of water your body needs.
Body weight / 2 = targeted ounces of water per day.
For me, 104oz.
Build the habit of physically serving my husband in a special way. Determine the amount of time I will give to the nightly neck-rub. 15 minutes of focused time. (no baby, computer, tv, reading)
Afternoon Entry:
I didn't read this until now and I should have read it this morning. I got busy with choring and did not have my water bottle with me until almost lunch time. I came downstairs hunting for it and I WAS THIRSTY! I got 20oz down in a flash and have been drinking like that ever since. My body is really craving the water now that it's getting it. I'm at 80oz already today. I had a couple of cups of caffeinated coffee this morning, so I want to be sure to get in a couple extra bottles (20oz) of water, too.
The affirmation above is filled with words that swell my heart. Hope, peace, trust, completely, joy, confident, overflow, power. These are all words I crave in my life...just like my body is craving this water. I can't get enough of the fact that the Lord holds out HOPE to me in the midst of so many areas in my life that feel like struggles. He offers me peace in the midst of the crazy chaos in my days right now. He calls me to TRUST HIM instead of relying on myself and my own foolish coping hangups. He promises me JOY and PEACE when I simply trust HIM instead of myself. He tells me I will OVERFLOW with CONFIDENT hope and He will show POWER in my life! Oh, how I am desparate to overflow with His goodness rather than my own fears and weaknesses. My God is a God of HOPE and He FILLS me...ME...with His joy and peace as I keep moving forward....trusting HIM.
Evening Entry:
160oz water, less 40 to account for 2 cups of caffeine. :)
Scripture Affirmation:
The God of hope fills me with joy and peace as I trust in Him.
"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
Action: Build the habit of having water with you at all time. Determine the amount of water your body needs.
Body weight / 2 = targeted ounces of water per day.
For me, 104oz.
Build the habit of physically serving my husband in a special way. Determine the amount of time I will give to the nightly neck-rub. 15 minutes of focused time. (no baby, computer, tv, reading)
Afternoon Entry:
I didn't read this until now and I should have read it this morning. I got busy with choring and did not have my water bottle with me until almost lunch time. I came downstairs hunting for it and I WAS THIRSTY! I got 20oz down in a flash and have been drinking like that ever since. My body is really craving the water now that it's getting it. I'm at 80oz already today. I had a couple of cups of caffeinated coffee this morning, so I want to be sure to get in a couple extra bottles (20oz) of water, too.
The affirmation above is filled with words that swell my heart. Hope, peace, trust, completely, joy, confident, overflow, power. These are all words I crave in my life...just like my body is craving this water. I can't get enough of the fact that the Lord holds out HOPE to me in the midst of so many areas in my life that feel like struggles. He offers me peace in the midst of the crazy chaos in my days right now. He calls me to TRUST HIM instead of relying on myself and my own foolish coping hangups. He promises me JOY and PEACE when I simply trust HIM instead of myself. He tells me I will OVERFLOW with CONFIDENT hope and He will show POWER in my life! Oh, how I am desparate to overflow with His goodness rather than my own fears and weaknesses. My God is a God of HOPE and He FILLS me...ME...with His joy and peace as I keep moving forward....trusting HIM.
Evening Entry:
160oz water, less 40 to account for 2 cups of caffeine. :)
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Willpower?
This morning I had my highest fasting number to date. I feel so silly to admit this, but it nearly brought me to tears. I am battling so many feelings of failure this morning and it's showing in my attitude, efforts, and stamina. I really just want to give up. Not for good. But, for today I want to just walk away from all the balls that I'm juggling and let them fall. So, what did I do? I pouted. I read a bit. I prayed, half-heartedly. I ignored my exercise. I sat and felt sorry for myself and then got up and vacuumed a couple rooms in the house. At least I can feel depressed with clean floors. ;)
So, as I sit working on minor things to just keep my day plugging along, I received this comment from a dear friend on my post last night:
Tracy I want you to know that I have been having a hard week this week and whenever I wanted to give up I thought of you and your will power! You are wonderful!
So, yeah. Now the tears are freely flowing.
Ladies, if I had any willpower, I would surely NOT be in the place I am now. I have never seen myself as someone who is strong or terribly self-disciplined. I do know that I have some strong insecurities regarding perfectionism and failure. I struggle daily with fears that I will somehow let someone down in some way. I suppose this could easily be seen as *willpower* or stamina. Honestly, it's sinful pride and fear that most often drives me when I am left to my own devices.
This is why this journey has always been about my walk with the Lord. From the beginning, even when not pregnant, I could force myself to do everything "right". I could follow a plan well and work to impress the class. However, my efforts were in vain because they never brought about the results I longed for.
This is what it looks like when I use my own strength:
When I would eat the perfect amount of calories combined with the right amount of activity, I would still lose at half the rate I "should" have been losing. Fail.
When I would adjust my percentages of protein versus carbs, raw foods versus cooked, whole foods versus junk, I would still see the same results. Fail.
When I would press harder to exercise. Push aside other priorities believing that my health and weight loss was far more important because I only had so much time to accomplish it, I still saw the same results. Except I added losing ground in other important areas, adding to my struggle. Fail and Fail.
And now, when I had been working to hold off on a pregnancy, knowing that losing weight was crucial to avoiding the GD and a healthy pregnancy, I still saw the blessing of those two pink lines. Well, there was nothing I could do but trust the Lord had a plan even though I felt I had let Him down. Again.
I walked into this pregnancy armed with education and experience from my last GD experience. I was determined I would "beat it" and "win" this time. Yet, here I sit, barely half way through...not even to the third trimester when a pregnant body *starts* to struggle with blood sugars and I'm already sunk. My friends, my research, and my brain tell me that it's foolish to believe this lie. But, my heart still does. Fail.
This is when the Lord steps in. This when He shows me just how far from the truth I really am. This challenge to right the wrongs I've done in my life regarding my body are not about losing weight, winning a battle against diabetes, or avoiding a dreaded medicated hospital birth. Truly, those are good aims. Who would fault me for working so hard to get healthy so that I can keep a baby safe during pregnancy? Yet, this isn't about me. This is about me giving glory to my Lord.
The truth is that whatsoever I do, whether I eat or drink, whether I fast or cleanse, whether I exercise or rest, it is ALL to be done to the glory of God. Not to my hope for results. Not to my joy at a number on a scale. Not to the satisfaction of a smaller size. Every striving, every effort, every choice is to be for HIM and the glory HE will receive, not to myself.
This changes my perspective on this journey. It becomes not the THING *I* do, but a PART of the THING that *God* is doing in me. It is as important as the work He does to create patience in me as I work with my children in their daily tasks. It is as important as the work He is doing to empty me of myself as I strive to love and respect my husband as unto the Lord. It is as important as the work He is doing to press me beyond my comfort levels and into areas of forgiveness with extended family. It is all connected because it is all about how He is at work to change me into His image.
And this is why the results should not matter because the results are not my work to be done. My Lord has called me to be faithful in my efforts and to trust Him with the results. He has commanded me to trust and obey as He does His work. He has set forth in His word clear directions on how I should live my life in all ways and this is where my focus needs be. I am to strive, to pour out my life, to give all my energy to obey the commands He has placed on my life, allowing Him to choose the results that will honor Him most. And this means the results in my parenting, marriage, home, ministry, as well as my physical health.
So, how am I applying this principle? Not very well today. Today my eyes have gotten off course and focused again on the results that I cannot control. I have once again attempted to take back control and responsibility for that which I have no business handling. I've already proven time and again that when I am in control, the results will not be pleasing to myself or to Him. What I need to do is to return to the truth that this is all about Him and the work He is about. Not only in my life, my baby's life, but surely His plan spreads far beyond my mind's eye. To know that He desires to use my efforts, my struggles, even my failings to bring Him glory and reveal Himself strong gives me hope. It gives me purpose. It causes me to remember my place in this work. To remain faithful, to keep His words always before me, to trust His judgement, and to every moment ask for His strength to do the right thing.
I will answer one day not for the number on the scale or the number on the meter. I will answer for my obedience to make right choices. I will answer for my diligence to learn and equip myself with the best knowledge I can find to make those right choices. I will answer for my idleness versus my activity. I will answer for my efforts to stay on course, regardless of the outcome.
I think of my last labor. I was given a short amount of time to birth my baby before they would put me on meds. I was angry and felt cheated to be forced in this manner. Yet, I took that to motivate me to give everything I had to do what I believed was best for the birth of our baby. I spent an entire day pushing myself to accomplish this goal only to be faced with the fact that my body wouldn't comply. When I finally agreed to the meds it was with a heart of peace. I knew that even if I was being forced into what wasn't *best* for our little one or myself, I had done everything in my power to do what was best. It was now time to allow the Lord to work out His best and accept the results as He had planned. I will never regret my efforts in that time. I had the satisfaction of knowing I had done everything I could to remain faithful and strong to the end. I had finished well and that allowed me to rest fully in the next step of His plan.
I need to keep that memory in my heart in the coming months. Giving up is not an option. Yet, I don't see my ability to press on as *willpower*. It is simply the work of the Holy Spirit in me keeping me from whatever false sense of strength I think I can or can't muster up. It is amazing to see that the Lord would choose such a vessel as me to accomplish His work. That leaves me humbled and ever more eager to continue on. To think that anyone else would see anything in me that would cause them to have courage, well, that can only be the work of the Lord. And for that, I am blessed to be used as a part of His plan.
Writing this out was what I needed today. Thank you, Lord for your truth and the ability to discern it from the constant barrage of easily believed lies that surround me. Please, let me remember that my choices, my work, my strivings bring you glory even if the results don't seem to match.
So, as I sit working on minor things to just keep my day plugging along, I received this comment from a dear friend on my post last night:
Tracy I want you to know that I have been having a hard week this week and whenever I wanted to give up I thought of you and your will power! You are wonderful!
So, yeah. Now the tears are freely flowing.
Ladies, if I had any willpower, I would surely NOT be in the place I am now. I have never seen myself as someone who is strong or terribly self-disciplined. I do know that I have some strong insecurities regarding perfectionism and failure. I struggle daily with fears that I will somehow let someone down in some way. I suppose this could easily be seen as *willpower* or stamina. Honestly, it's sinful pride and fear that most often drives me when I am left to my own devices.
This is why this journey has always been about my walk with the Lord. From the beginning, even when not pregnant, I could force myself to do everything "right". I could follow a plan well and work to impress the class. However, my efforts were in vain because they never brought about the results I longed for.
This is what it looks like when I use my own strength:
When I would eat the perfect amount of calories combined with the right amount of activity, I would still lose at half the rate I "should" have been losing. Fail.
When I would adjust my percentages of protein versus carbs, raw foods versus cooked, whole foods versus junk, I would still see the same results. Fail.
When I would press harder to exercise. Push aside other priorities believing that my health and weight loss was far more important because I only had so much time to accomplish it, I still saw the same results. Except I added losing ground in other important areas, adding to my struggle. Fail and Fail.
And now, when I had been working to hold off on a pregnancy, knowing that losing weight was crucial to avoiding the GD and a healthy pregnancy, I still saw the blessing of those two pink lines. Well, there was nothing I could do but trust the Lord had a plan even though I felt I had let Him down. Again.
I walked into this pregnancy armed with education and experience from my last GD experience. I was determined I would "beat it" and "win" this time. Yet, here I sit, barely half way through...not even to the third trimester when a pregnant body *starts* to struggle with blood sugars and I'm already sunk. My friends, my research, and my brain tell me that it's foolish to believe this lie. But, my heart still does. Fail.
This is when the Lord steps in. This when He shows me just how far from the truth I really am. This challenge to right the wrongs I've done in my life regarding my body are not about losing weight, winning a battle against diabetes, or avoiding a dreaded medicated hospital birth. Truly, those are good aims. Who would fault me for working so hard to get healthy so that I can keep a baby safe during pregnancy? Yet, this isn't about me. This is about me giving glory to my Lord.
The truth is that whatsoever I do, whether I eat or drink, whether I fast or cleanse, whether I exercise or rest, it is ALL to be done to the glory of God. Not to my hope for results. Not to my joy at a number on a scale. Not to the satisfaction of a smaller size. Every striving, every effort, every choice is to be for HIM and the glory HE will receive, not to myself.
This changes my perspective on this journey. It becomes not the THING *I* do, but a PART of the THING that *God* is doing in me. It is as important as the work He does to create patience in me as I work with my children in their daily tasks. It is as important as the work He is doing to empty me of myself as I strive to love and respect my husband as unto the Lord. It is as important as the work He is doing to press me beyond my comfort levels and into areas of forgiveness with extended family. It is all connected because it is all about how He is at work to change me into His image.
And this is why the results should not matter because the results are not my work to be done. My Lord has called me to be faithful in my efforts and to trust Him with the results. He has commanded me to trust and obey as He does His work. He has set forth in His word clear directions on how I should live my life in all ways and this is where my focus needs be. I am to strive, to pour out my life, to give all my energy to obey the commands He has placed on my life, allowing Him to choose the results that will honor Him most. And this means the results in my parenting, marriage, home, ministry, as well as my physical health.
So, how am I applying this principle? Not very well today. Today my eyes have gotten off course and focused again on the results that I cannot control. I have once again attempted to take back control and responsibility for that which I have no business handling. I've already proven time and again that when I am in control, the results will not be pleasing to myself or to Him. What I need to do is to return to the truth that this is all about Him and the work He is about. Not only in my life, my baby's life, but surely His plan spreads far beyond my mind's eye. To know that He desires to use my efforts, my struggles, even my failings to bring Him glory and reveal Himself strong gives me hope. It gives me purpose. It causes me to remember my place in this work. To remain faithful, to keep His words always before me, to trust His judgement, and to every moment ask for His strength to do the right thing.
I will answer one day not for the number on the scale or the number on the meter. I will answer for my obedience to make right choices. I will answer for my diligence to learn and equip myself with the best knowledge I can find to make those right choices. I will answer for my idleness versus my activity. I will answer for my efforts to stay on course, regardless of the outcome.
I think of my last labor. I was given a short amount of time to birth my baby before they would put me on meds. I was angry and felt cheated to be forced in this manner. Yet, I took that to motivate me to give everything I had to do what I believed was best for the birth of our baby. I spent an entire day pushing myself to accomplish this goal only to be faced with the fact that my body wouldn't comply. When I finally agreed to the meds it was with a heart of peace. I knew that even if I was being forced into what wasn't *best* for our little one or myself, I had done everything in my power to do what was best. It was now time to allow the Lord to work out His best and accept the results as He had planned. I will never regret my efforts in that time. I had the satisfaction of knowing I had done everything I could to remain faithful and strong to the end. I had finished well and that allowed me to rest fully in the next step of His plan.
I need to keep that memory in my heart in the coming months. Giving up is not an option. Yet, I don't see my ability to press on as *willpower*. It is simply the work of the Holy Spirit in me keeping me from whatever false sense of strength I think I can or can't muster up. It is amazing to see that the Lord would choose such a vessel as me to accomplish His work. That leaves me humbled and ever more eager to continue on. To think that anyone else would see anything in me that would cause them to have courage, well, that can only be the work of the Lord. And for that, I am blessed to be used as a part of His plan.
Writing this out was what I needed today. Thank you, Lord for your truth and the ability to discern it from the constant barrage of easily believed lies that surround me. Please, let me remember that my choices, my work, my strivings bring you glory even if the results don't seem to match.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Disconnect
This week has been strange...difficult...weird...hard.
I am walking around in a general state of Minor Yuck. It's not pleasant. Yet, it's not so horrible that I feel justified to go with my emotions and wallow in it. Not justified, yet I think I have been doing it most of the time. Sigh.
I don't know if it's simply the hormones of pregnancy that are effecting me and keeping me from feeling well. I don't know if it's somehow linked to my blood sugar issues that are still not under control. It could very well be linked to following doc's orders and lifting the GD diet for the early part of the week in preparation for the 3 hour challenge. Good news is, I don't have to take that test. (whew!) The I Don't Know If It's Bad News news is that I'm going straight to GD counseling, making me an official Gestational Diabetic. It's what I wanted, skipping the test and getting on with treatment. But, somehow, getting that diagnosis and all that comes with it is hard to accept. Still working on those Feelings of Failure, I guess.
Yesterday I was quite productive. I got a lot done in the kitchen and around the house and even made good on some schoolwork. I should have been elated. It had been a long while since I had accomplished a list of any significant size. Instead, I felt deflated and worn out. This morning a thought struck me as I was forcing myself through the Get Ready For Church routine.
My heart is just not into this.
"This" meaning anything and everything, I guess. No matter what I set about, I'm feeling like I'm either forcing may way through, finding a way to just "get by", or just completely disconnecting from what is in front of me. I don't like that feeling. I don't like the Disconnect.
This certainly isn't a cheerful, uplifting post. That is certain. I will say that my heart IS completely overjoyed with anticipation of our new baby girl. I've already named her in my heart and have been enjoying bonding with her this week. I just wish I was as emotionally attached to the others that are with me and the work the Lord has for me each day.
However, if taking proper care of myself means that I live in a state of Disconnect and forcing what is right, then so be it. My feelings do not have to precede my actions. As I well know, Doing right will lead to Feeling right...eventually.
So, tomorrow I begin again. Praying the Lord enables me to push through this fog and get in those simple but important goals of exercise and eating enough and properly. My biggest struggle is to simply eat as much as I should, *what* I should, and *when* I should. It sure sounds simple. For me, it feels super hard.
If I don't push, I'll give up. This sweet little girl needs a momma that doesn't quit.
I am walking around in a general state of Minor Yuck. It's not pleasant. Yet, it's not so horrible that I feel justified to go with my emotions and wallow in it. Not justified, yet I think I have been doing it most of the time. Sigh.
I don't know if it's simply the hormones of pregnancy that are effecting me and keeping me from feeling well. I don't know if it's somehow linked to my blood sugar issues that are still not under control. It could very well be linked to following doc's orders and lifting the GD diet for the early part of the week in preparation for the 3 hour challenge. Good news is, I don't have to take that test. (whew!) The I Don't Know If It's Bad News news is that I'm going straight to GD counseling, making me an official Gestational Diabetic. It's what I wanted, skipping the test and getting on with treatment. But, somehow, getting that diagnosis and all that comes with it is hard to accept. Still working on those Feelings of Failure, I guess.
Yesterday I was quite productive. I got a lot done in the kitchen and around the house and even made good on some schoolwork. I should have been elated. It had been a long while since I had accomplished a list of any significant size. Instead, I felt deflated and worn out. This morning a thought struck me as I was forcing myself through the Get Ready For Church routine.
My heart is just not into this.
"This" meaning anything and everything, I guess. No matter what I set about, I'm feeling like I'm either forcing may way through, finding a way to just "get by", or just completely disconnecting from what is in front of me. I don't like that feeling. I don't like the Disconnect.
This certainly isn't a cheerful, uplifting post. That is certain. I will say that my heart IS completely overjoyed with anticipation of our new baby girl. I've already named her in my heart and have been enjoying bonding with her this week. I just wish I was as emotionally attached to the others that are with me and the work the Lord has for me each day.
However, if taking proper care of myself means that I live in a state of Disconnect and forcing what is right, then so be it. My feelings do not have to precede my actions. As I well know, Doing right will lead to Feeling right...eventually.
So, tomorrow I begin again. Praying the Lord enables me to push through this fog and get in those simple but important goals of exercise and eating enough and properly. My biggest struggle is to simply eat as much as I should, *what* I should, and *when* I should. It sure sounds simple. For me, it feels super hard.
If I don't push, I'll give up. This sweet little girl needs a momma that doesn't quit.
"And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope ; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it." Romans 8:23-35
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Thursday January 12, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Stuck to my menu
Cleaned my room
All but one child completely ready for Friday work
Today's Not So Good Things:
Emotional
Felt lousy
Accomplished little
No exercise
Today's Food Choices:
Breakfast: 2-3 oz slice of grilled turkey-ham, 1/2 english muffin - buttered, 8oz skim milk
Snack: english muffin- buttered w/ peanut butter, water
Lunch: hm turkey soup, slice of sourdough - buttered, 1/2 apple, water
Snack: 3 sugar free chocolates (30g carbs total), shared a snack size bag of sun chips with my toddler, water
Dinner: Chicken Cacciatore (1/3 cup vegie noodles, 1 chicken thigh w/ sauce), 1/2 cup green beans, 1 slice ww bread - buttered, water
Snack: I have my 3/4 cup plain ff greek yogurt and 1/2 cup frozen mixed fruit waiting for me.
Today was hard. I woke up at 5am, spent some time with my husband before he left for work but ended up going back to bed at 6am. My morning was so emotional, I just couldn't do much besides pray and sleep. I woke up feeling nauseous and fighting that same headache. I gave in and spent the day in my room keeping the littles with me, working on school with them while the bigs did their thing.
This transition to a new career/job for my husband is hard. Really hard some days.
Tomorrow we see baby and meet another OB on the team of 6. I'm nervous. Nervous about the u/s. Nervous about meeting the OB and wondering how she'll receive us. I hate feeling like I have to prove myself somehow. I so wish I didn't have all the negative baggage from previous doctors and hospital experiences to taint this pregnancy. Still praying the Lord helps me lay these fears at his feet and leave them there.
ETA: Blogger still isn't giving me access to the comment page so I can respond to the notes being left. Thank you, Angie and Tanya for your encouragement. Tanya, up until my last pregnancy, I always felt amazing while pregnant (after the initial 15-18 weeks of morning sickness wore off.) In fact, I used to feel *better* while pregnant than not. I'm sad that's changed.
Stuck to my menu
Cleaned my room
All but one child completely ready for Friday work
Today's Not So Good Things:
Emotional
Felt lousy
Accomplished little
No exercise
Today's Food Choices:
Breakfast: 2-3 oz slice of grilled turkey-ham, 1/2 english muffin - buttered, 8oz skim milk
Snack: english muffin- buttered w/ peanut butter, water
Lunch: hm turkey soup, slice of sourdough - buttered, 1/2 apple, water
Snack: 3 sugar free chocolates (30g carbs total), shared a snack size bag of sun chips with my toddler, water
Dinner: Chicken Cacciatore (1/3 cup vegie noodles, 1 chicken thigh w/ sauce), 1/2 cup green beans, 1 slice ww bread - buttered, water
Snack: I have my 3/4 cup plain ff greek yogurt and 1/2 cup frozen mixed fruit waiting for me.
Today was hard. I woke up at 5am, spent some time with my husband before he left for work but ended up going back to bed at 6am. My morning was so emotional, I just couldn't do much besides pray and sleep. I woke up feeling nauseous and fighting that same headache. I gave in and spent the day in my room keeping the littles with me, working on school with them while the bigs did their thing.
This transition to a new career/job for my husband is hard. Really hard some days.
Tomorrow we see baby and meet another OB on the team of 6. I'm nervous. Nervous about the u/s. Nervous about meeting the OB and wondering how she'll receive us. I hate feeling like I have to prove myself somehow. I so wish I didn't have all the negative baggage from previous doctors and hospital experiences to taint this pregnancy. Still praying the Lord helps me lay these fears at his feet and leave them there.
ETA: Blogger still isn't giving me access to the comment page so I can respond to the notes being left. Thank you, Angie and Tanya for your encouragement. Tanya, up until my last pregnancy, I always felt amazing while pregnant (after the initial 15-18 weeks of morning sickness wore off.) In fact, I used to feel *better* while pregnant than not. I'm sad that's changed.
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