37 Weeks - On the Home Stretch

Well, here I am at 37 weeks pregnant, on the home stretch and ready to go.  My midwives are officially *on call* for this baby to arrive at any time.  Of course, my history says I won't go until after that 40 week mark, but I am definitely ramping up to meet this little baby. 

Here's an update on what's been happening since my last post when I was just starting my first trimester:

1.  Anemia: Shortly after my last post I found out I was low on my iron levels. I was borderline low, as in, my numbers weren't so low that I was at risk to miss out on my home birth, but low enough that I needed to get busy getting them back up again.

Now, for someone who eats plant-based, this took me a bit by surprise at first. Then I thought back over this pregnancy, evaluating how I've done with eating and taking my vitamins and it was a no-brainer that I would have this come up.  The fact that I've struggled so much just to eat the foods that are iron rich and eat enough of them. My appetite has been very poor this pregnancy.  Add in that I've been horribly forgetful about taking my prenatal vitamins and you have a recipe for low iron right there. 

This diagnoses also explained why I was feeling so awful mid-pregnancy. I was extremely fatigued and dealt with dizziness and feeling faint anytime I was standing in one place for more than15-20 minutes.  It was a real struggle and I was glad to find out there was a real cause other than I was just an old grand-multipara. 

I started asking questions of my midwife and other moms and began my research on what was my best strategy to get those levels up fast.  Even though they weren't terribly low, I wanted to feel better sooner than later and I wanted the issue dealt with well before labor so as not to create complications.  First, I evaluated my diet and looked at what foods I needed to work harder at getting down to increase my natural iron intake.  Many of the foods I would normally eat are very high in iron, I just needed a better plan to get them in on a daily basis. I looked at some charts like this one and this one and made this plan:

Iron Rich Foods menu:

Breakfast:  Prenatal vitamins, Kale Breakfast salad with added hemp seeds, pumpkin seeds
Morning snack: Dried apricots or raisins with brazil nuts, piece of baked good
Lunch: Lentils with added greens (collards or chard); half potato; spinach salad with oranges and raw pumpkin seeds
Snack: Crackers with hummus (chickpeas), cut veggies
Dinner:  Add roasted beet with dinner, be sure to get beans in at dinner
Evening snack: Smoothie made with Ojay, kale, fruit, hemp seed

Okay, so that was my plan. However, it didn't take long for me to see that I couldn't rely on my body to stick to the plan. It's just too hard for me to get that much food and those sorts of foods down every day.  My taste meter is just too off right now. 

That's when I started to look at supplements for increasing my iron levels.  I looked at using floradix, but read some conflicting thoughts regarding how effective it really is.  (I wish I had book marked my sources while doing that research as I can't find the links now that pertain to the discussion. Sorry!) I decided to simply go with an iron supplement and get what I needed in me directly. 

My usual prenatal vitamins, Dr. Furhman's Gentle Prenatal, has plenty of iron in it, but I wanted an extra boost to recover faster.  I hunted around and chose to go with a product called Hemaplex.  I liked that the ingredients didn't include yeast or dairy of any kind. I'm already struggling with yeast and the calcium in the dairy is a natural inhibitor of iron absorption so it doesn't make sense to me to add that in.  The Hemaplex is loaded with a variety of other vitamins as well, though, so I decreased my prenatals by half while I used it.  I stayed on the Hemaplex for approximately 3-4 weeks and then went back to using my regular prenatal vitamin dose.  During this time I kept working on eating as close to the menu plan I had made as I could. My biggest tool was adding in at least one green smoothie made with iron rich foods every day. 

My recent blood draw showed my iron levels back in the normal range. I need to keep working at getting in those vitamins regularly and getting down the right foods, but I'm glad to see that I found the right track and was able to remedy that issue.  I knew before the test that I was doing better as my energy definitely increased and my dizzy while standing issues lessened. I still struggle with that but I can go a lot longer than 15 minutes before it takes effect.  Whew!

2.  Yeast: I struggle with this every pregnancy, even though I was hopeful it wouldn't come up this time as I had been free of any yeasty symptoms for months prior to my pregnancy.  Sadly, because I am eating a lot more grains and breads this go round, I ended up back where I have been in the past.  Knowing that this struggle always leads to more trouble after baby arrives by way of thrush and mastitis/clogged ducts, I was desperate to deal with it quickly.

I began a course of probiotics and worked to take out the yeast breads from my diet.  The probiotics are easy, removing the bread...not so much.  Currently, I'm on my third probiotic.  I've used three different kinds over the last several weeks in large doses.  I saw some change but more in the way of the symptoms shifting to new areas of irritation.  I also developed varicose veins in some unfortunate places which made me wonder if those were creating the discomfort more than the yeast.  My mw gave an herbal spray for me to use to deal with those and to bring some relief to the yeast symptoms while my body continued to heal.

Okay, here's where my lack of patience set in again. (notice how I keep wanting to deal with these issues FAST and get them out of the way QUICKLY?)  After a week of still struggling I decided to use an OTC three day yeast treatment. I remembered one of my midwives telling me in a previous pregnancy how important it was to be free of that prior to deliver so as to be sure there wasn't a weakening of the tissues necessary for a good birth.  I was getting closer and really felt I needed to deal with this once and for all. 

I'm happy to report that the OTC treatment has taken care of the discomforting symptoms.  The herbal spray is helping with the variscosities as well and helping with any other slight itching that emerges.  The most recent probiotic I started is a strong one that should finally wipe out the yeast before baby arrives.

 

3. GBS (Group B Strep):  This is a controversial issue out there.  I'll just explain how I handle this when I'm planning a homebirth and let you decide for yourself how you plan to deal with it for your birth. 

In the past I've tested positive for GBS.  Research shows that even if you test negative, a week or even a day later you could test positive for GBS.  It's that finicky and the tests are that unreliable. This is the primary reason the doctors won't accept a GBS test done *too early* as reliable for treatment or no treatment.  Because of this, I've chosen over the last few pregnancies, when I have the choice, to forgo the actual GBS test and assume I am positive to some degree. (after all, I've been positive before, so it's likely I still carry the bacteria). 

In a homebirth, I have some assurance that the birth methods and techniques will keep my baby at a lesser risk for exposure during birth. (fewer cervical checks, no artificial rupture of membranes, more gentle delivery practices)  Along with these measures my midwife recommends a vaginal wash using hibiclense during labor to keep the birth canal clean.  Recently, she and her colleagues have seen great results in using a probiotic called Fem-Dophilus to reverse or eliminate the presence of GBS in patients that tested positive in the weeks leading up to birth. 

So, with these tools in my pocket I choose to not use antibiotics during my labor to treat any potential GBS infection.  Once baby is born, I use my midwife's instructions for monitoring baby's heart rate and temperature at semi-hourly intervals in the first week to be on the watch for signs of infection.  This protocol, in my experience, has been much more thorough than what I've seen the hospital staff offer in my hospital births.

4.  Positioning: At about 34-35 weeks baby was presenting in a breech oblique position.

Most of my pregnancies I've struggled to get baby to position properly. I've never dealt with a breech baby, but generally have babies that like to lie posterior.  The breech scared me a bit and gave me the final push I needed to schedule my prenatal appointments with a chiropractor to prep for delivery as well as help this baby turn the right way.

After about three visits with the chiropractor baby was back to head down position, though still posterior.  This made me so happy.  I was also happy that my visits also helped me with increased energy, a decrease of nausea that has, sadly, returned during these last few weeks, and a decrease in the dizzy spells I deal with. I will continue to see the chiropractor at least once a week leading up to delivery and the weeks following to ensure that I and baby are adjusted well.

5. Labor Prep:  I started my labor prep regimen this week! I use Red Raspberry Leaf tablets and Evening Primrose Oil in the final weeks. 

The Red Raspberry Leaf helps to tone the uterus, helping it work more efficiently during and after labor.  I continue using the RRL tablets for at least a month following birth to help my uterus continue toning and return to normal state.  I've found that my post partum recovery and bleeding have always been short and minimal. I am confident the RRL is a big help with this.  I could have started using the RRL as early as 32 weeks, but I didn't have it on hand at that time.  That just means I can start with higher doses now as I go. I am currently taking two 950mg tablets per day. I may increase as I approach my due date.

Evening Primrose Oil helps to soften and ripen the cervix.  My body needs all the help it can get with this!  I am currently taking one 1300mg orally once per day and one 1300mg inserted *privately* each night.

I've also recently read that eating 6 raw dates per day can shorten your labor. I'm not sure I can get that many in, but it sure will be yummy trying! :D

6. Family Prep:  Freezer meals!

We've been working to fill the freezer by doubling meals and baked goods during the week.  On top of this, my two oldest girls are hosting a Freezer Meal Shower for me later this month. We're inviting the ladies from church to come and help us prep meals with our recipes and ingredients for one final big stock up before baby arrives. We are excited about this!  It will give a chance to invite friends over, give me a lot of help where I need it most right now (standing for long periods of time working in the kitchen is really tough right now) and takes away the challenge of getting meals to us after baby arrives since we live an hour from the church we attend and generally wait several weeks after baby arrives to go out in public again.

Here's my list of foods I hope to prep in the coming weeks and at the party:

Soup Starter Bags: Quart sized bags of chopped onion, celery, carrots, mushrooms, and leafy greens

Bean Bags: Quart sized bags with chopped onion, mushrooms, and leafy greens to add to cooked beans

Main Dish Meals: (these are all plant-based, non-dairy meals following our nutritarian goals)
Veggie Lasagna
Stuffed Shells
Pasta Broccoli Alfredo
Upside Down Not Roast (similar to shepherd's pie)
Bean Burgers and Nuggets
Bean Balls for spaghetti
Breakfast Patties
Chickpea Pot Pie with Biscuit Topping
Scalloped Potatoes
Breakfast Burritos
Pasty Hotdish and/or pasties
Creamy Mac

Baked Goods:
Spiced Coffee with Date Caramel Sauce
Pancakes
Apple Crisp
Rhubarb Crisp
Blueberry Muffins
Banana Bread
Sweet Potato Biscuits
Irish Soda Bread
Applesauce Cornbread
Zucchini Bread
Banana Blueberry Bars
Granola
Chocolate Cake (for labor day!) with fudgy frosting


Extras:
Salad dressings
Chickpea dip
Hummus
BBQ sauce
Alfredo sauce

So, that's the plan.  I've got a few things already done.  It would be great to get even half of these done before baby arrives. :) 

7.  Gestational Diabetes:  Testing again this week and all my numbers are in perfect range. YIPPEEE!!!

In the meantime, I'm moving pretty slow. I'm dealing with nausea off and one and am pretty sore and achy. This belly of mine is heavy and my energy is low.  I've moved in to my normal Hibernation Mode and would loooove to just hide out alone, like a cat, until this baby arrives.  Still, there's that freezer list and nesting list that needs attention along with schooling and the children's activities that will make the coming weeks move very quickly, I'm sure. 

Please pray I can keep a smile on my face and see the blessings in the tasks while I work to keep up with all that needs done.

Side note:  In these photos I'm wearing the gown my oldest daughter made for me. She designed and created it for me to wear to the Medieval Feast she is hosting this weekend. Isn't she talented?? :D

Half Victories

I'm singing the Lord's praises this morning!

Yesterday, I was able to resist the amazing smell of that ooey-gooey pizza served at the children's cast party.  I brought along my salad and crunched-crunched-crunched my way through lunch. 

I confess, I did nibble the half-crust that the baby left on her plate.

I'm tellin' ya', it was HARD.  I went through the pizza line a few times getting the little girls what they wanted.  Then I sat there watching the leftovers just sit and call my name. I couldn't believe how difficult it was to avoid eating that food.  I ended up moving to another side of the room so I couldn't see it as readily.  David left altogether to go get a coffee.  The chips and pizza were too strong of a force.  I'm proud of him for doing what he had to do.

And, this morning, I'm so thankful to the Lord.  Actually, I wish I had thought to pray for strength while in the battle.  I need to think harder that this is a battle for my soul as well as my stomach. I won on the stomach end. The scale was down another .7 today.

My soul? I missed the opportunity to commune with the Lord and see Him at work giving me strength and power to resist.  He DID do those things, I just missed seeing him do it because I was so focused on the battle.

Help me be attentive to you, Lord.  Help me see that the temptations are there for the very purpose of driving me to you.  Give me a heart that is sensitive to your work in my life even in the midst of a foolish thing like a pizza party.

Wondering where I've been lately?

Lost in Grainland.  Sigh.

We had an incredibly busy last two weeks. This past week, extremely so.  The children had three performances of The Scarlet Pimpernel this weekend as well as a day for full dress rehearsal.  It was intense, hurried, wonderful, and topsy-turvy, to say the least.

Because we were on the run and out of the house so often, I just didn't have the time to prep salads for my meals.  I did well with breakfast, but I succumbed to the easy grain foods that I had prepared for the children to eat while out.  Loading up on bread has kept the scale at a definite stand-still. Blah.

Add to that our celebrations this weekend with salty chips and salsa and a LOVELY lunch out with some new friends from the new church we've been visiting.  They invited us to Ruby Tuesdays, which has a great salad bar!  I loved it, but splurged on the biscuits they leave on the table.  I'm a bread-junkie, no joke!  I'm scared again to step on that scale. Grrr.

But, I need to know where I'm at. I guess I do, at least. 

Upside, I headed out with David to try out a Cardio Kickboxing class last week. It was...um...interesting. ;)  I was glad I went and it was good to have something active like that to do together.  I'm hoping I'll learn to like it a lot so it turns into something I look forward to each week.  Who knows, maybe I'll even want to join him for the Boot Camp class he likes to do on Tuesday mornings.  Brrrrr! That's all I can think of when I think of leaving the house for an early morning workout.  It's SO COLD these days!!

Speaking of that, I'm praying to find a new winter coat for myself.  Mine was just way too big.  I passed it along to a friend.  I found one in my oldest daughter's size (small) and have taken the coat she used last year. Only thing, it's really not a winter coat. And, the zipper is busted.  So, it's getting frigid out there and if I'm aim to stay warm, I have to layer up on my fall coats and my clothing.  I have a few dollars tucked away and am praying the Lord will help me find the perfect winter jacket in my thrift store hunts.  Your prayers are very welcome. :)

Monday, July 1, 2013

Good Things:
Got out for a brisk walk first thing this morning with my husband
Started the day smiling, showered, and even fussed with my new haircut a bit. ;)
Enjoyed a lovely cup of lemon ginger tea this morning.
Did a ton of shopping with a couple teamers.  Got in all the groceries under budget. I was a little nervous. 
Went out for lunch with my husband, sat in on an important meeting with him.
Saw my dear, precious friend who is also The Best Midwife Ever today. :)
Ended the day under on calories and very tired.
Made some new recipes for dinner and everyone had great attitudes and even LOVED one of them.

Not So Good Things:
I have the poison ivy now and it's spreading. Blah.
Fumbled a bit with lunch and ended up eating some chicken that I hadn't planned to eat along with white flour flatbread at Subway. 
Lost all energy by dinner time. Probably the lunch hangover kicking in.
No Wii workout tonight. Too physically worn out.

The Simple Bean Burgers were a HUGE hit!! Everyone was asking for seconds.

The three oldest children and I worked together to make them. We served them on pitas with burger fixins and it was a huge success.  The Great Greens (steamed kale, chard, spinach with a vinegar dressing), not so much. Pretty sure that fail was on our end because they were just way too salty.  But, my Benjy boy really liked them and even had seconds when the rest of us didn't want to eat them. I'm impressed with that boy trying hard to like his mom's weird food. ;)

I was feeling discouraged that I didn't make a better choice for lunch.  It was a last-minute decision that I was even going with my husband to this meeting, so lunch had to be on the run.  I walked in the restaurant and just completely blanked out on what to order. It's like my brain isn't sure how to think about food just yet without the boundaries of the fast. I didn't want to choose an animal protein because I knew I was planning for that later in the week.  But, I couldn't think beyond that. What I did choose, I worked with wisely, I think.  No cheese, no sauce, add some cucumbers with the lettuce and spinach...it should hide okay in there...and it did.  The sandwich was delicious and I purposed to eat it with joy, giving thanks in all things. :)  Now that I've entered it in to mfp, I'm not feeling so bad. Even though it wasn't the most nutritious choice I could have made, I still made good choices overall and enjoyed a lovely lunch with my husband.

I do think I'm feeling the effects of it now, though. Worn out and lethargic a few hours later. I read that this happens after the fast when you start adding in foods. 

Overall, my first day off the fast went very well. I was busy and active all day.  I made wise choices, overall.  I got in all my water and some exercise.  I'm working my plan and doing it joyfully with the people I love.  The poison ivy that is overtaking me isn't so great. I could do without that.  But, I'll be thankful that I can better empathize with my husband and sons who are battling it as well.

My verse for the day:

Psalm 34:1    I will bless the LORD at all times ; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

Praying that my mouth will be so filled with His praise that none of the ugly words or foods fit! :D

Daniel Fast - Day Twenty-One

June 30, 2013

Day Twenty-One

The End. 

Today is the last day.  A bit of fanfare as Elizabeth and I discussed the closing of the fast.  We had a nice conversation regarding what we learned in the last few weeks.  I expressed my gratitude to her for her eagerness and cheerfulness during this fast. Without her excitement over this endeavor, I'm not sure I would have pressed on.  It was especially hard when other members of the family were complaining, cheating, or just plain angry that we were even doing it.  Her sweet disposition and firm resolve helped me stay focused and cheered me on.  She kept me from feeling alone.

She shared that she was very grateful the Lord led me to take on this fast.  She was greatly encouraged by my willingness and determination to stick with it, even in the midst of that first week's struggles and pain.  She was challenged to see me press on when it was so hard.  I didn't realize how the Lord would use my time of humbling to encourage my girl so much. 

I will always look back on this fast with reverence and awe.  The Lord used something so simple to reveal Himself in so many powerful ways.  He used it to also reveal me in many ways. Ways I needed to see so I could confess, repent, and be turned.  Not only is my physical body changed, my mind is better able to understand the patterns and habits that have held me for so long, and my relationships with my family have been strengthened like never before.  Purging my physical body of the toxins may have been painful, but seeing how my wrong choices were damaging my life as a mother and wife was devastating.  You've given me this "land", Lord, and I so want to truly "live" within it.  And that leads me to....

The Beginning.

I see now that this Daniel Fast was the precursor to a major work the Lord desire to do in my life.  Physically, He is at work healing my body, teaching me how to make the best choices, and making me stronger for His tasks.  I didn't know it then, but this fast prepared me to receive that plan.  Eating as a vegan for the last 3 weeks, and a very restricted vegan at that, has shown me what I thought was impossible.  I could live like this because I DID live like this.  I can survive and even thrive on vegetable. Shhhh...don't tell my mother!  And I do believe that changing my habits and choices of food heals because I've experienced it happen in the last few weeks. 

Fasting from my social media hangouts revealed how much I've been missing in my family, church, and community life.  My days are so full, I don't know how to fit it back in, visiting with my internet friends. Yet, I spent so much time there before.  Time wrongly placed.  I'm still unsure how to fit that in, but it won't be the habit it was before.

This fast revealed my need to deal with my emotions in a biblical way.  Rightly handling my disappointments, frustrations, anger, irritations, these are all important priorities that the Lord is working on in my heart.  Learning how to put off the sinful ways I handle these things and put on the commands of the Lord is a primary focus for me in the coming weeks.

This Beginning is exciting.  It isn't a simple resolve. It isn't a New Thing to try out.  It's a response to the work of the Holy Spirit shining the light of God's word on my heart and life.  He has shown me the sin, and now that my repentance and forgiveness are firm, I can begin to enjoy His transformation of my life.  I can take my first step in truly LIVING in this precious land He has given.

Thank you, precious Lord.  May you alone receive the glory for your work in my life.  May it be that you will increase and I will decrease.

Daniel Fast - Day Eighteen

June 27, 2013

Day Eighteenn

This is amazing. I have blogged for 18 days in a row here. I have logged in to mfp nearly every day of this fast.  I have seen some great accountability in the last 18 days!

Today I ended well under on calories again. I am under almost every day now without trying. I still had 200+ calories I could have eaten after dinner but I wasn't even hungry. 

Made a great vegie stir fry tonight.  Mushrooms, garlic, onion, zucchini, carrots, cabbage, pineapple, swiss chard and spinach.  Mixed in a sauce made from Bragg's, pineapple juice, water, and corn starch. Topped it with a sprinkling of sliced almonds and we feasted! At first everyone looked a little panicked over the looks of all that Green.  One bite had them willing to clean their plates. Well, almost all of them.  Adding in the promise of smoothies for dessert certainly helped.

Got my hair cut today. I haven't been in for a cut in about a year. Crazy.  It's SHORT! I love it. Light, easy, and fun.  Does anyone else feel invigorated after a fresh hair cut?  I sure do!

I spent the whole morning with my girlies working on laundry and ironing. We snuck in some library book reading and some language arts lessons.  The afternoon we plugged away at schooling and choring.  Good stuff for a rainy day.

Everyone got in a bit of time on the wii tonight.  I got in about 15 minutes after everyone else went to bed. Short but sweet. Hey, guess what. I'm down .4 pounds from yesterday. Guess I had Heavy Hair. Teehee.

I'm starting to think about what I want to do to celebrate the completion of the Daniel Fast.  I'm not really sure yet.  David is going out with a friend for burgers. I really don't want to eat a burger. Blech.  But, it would be fun to go out with friends.  I'll have to brainstorm a bit. 

The next couple of days I need to see if a plan develops for after this fast. I'm starting to wonder if I am ending it at day 21 or not.  There isn't much I miss, that's for sure. But, I would love the chance to sit with a cup of tea once in a while or enjoy a freshly baked muffin, hold the sugar, of course. :)

Still leaning toward the Eat to Live plan.  More prayer.  Maybe tomorrow needs to be a dedicated day of prayer for me.

Daniel Fast - Day Fifteen

June 24, 2013

Day Fifteen

Today all that energy I've been talking about went missing. I was slow and quiet and not moving much at all. We tidied the house some, but I was mostly directing.  We got in a bit of reading and a couple of people worked on writing some letters. I did some lunch prep, made dinner, and read my book most of the day.  I'm embarrassed to say how much I enjoyed such a relaxing, lazy day. *blush*

I finished my day under on calories again. I'm starting to even out how many calories I eat in a day. When I look at my chart, I can see I may be forming some consistency in my portions and choices for meals.  I'm also going to start dropping snacks and work on consuming all I need during my meals.  It's hard to change my brain about that.  After being pregnant so often, I tend to just eat those snacks as a matter of habit.  I want to try going longer between meals, though, to learn my body's cues for real hunger.

This book, Eat to Live: The End of Diabetes has my mind spinning.  I'm not convinced this is the plan the Lord has for me, but I have certainly gained a great deal of information and learning from it.  I am more firm in my convictions regarding vegetables as the core of my diet. I am intrigued by what I'm learning about legumes and nuts and seeds.  Intrigued enough that I'm considering purchasing the book for myself.  I'm going to keep praying on this. 

One argument that Dr. Furhman makes is that you can easily obtain the amount of protein you need daily from a plant-based diet.  I know that many have said this isn't possible. In fact, that's one of the biggest reasons I almost didn't read the book. Yet, as I've been plugging in my food on myfitnesspal.com, I can see that I am easily achieving the protein goals I set for myself back when I was aiming for a high protein-low carb diet.  Amazing.  Today the largest source of protein I had was one peanut butter ball at breakfast. The rest was simply lentils, beans, broccoli...nothing I would really consider high protein foods. Yet, there I am. Right at my high-protein goal.  And feeling full as all get out at that.

If I wasn't doing this fast, eating a plant-based diet while reading this book, I would never have believed what I'm reading.  But, I'm experiencing so much of what he's saying, I can't help but lend it some validity. 

Off to do some more reading and praying.  My husband has chosen to do a complete fast for this week.  Nothing but prayer and water. If anyone out there is reading this, please pray he remains safe and healthy. He is working hard outside in the heat all week painting on ladders. We need the Lord to keep him alert and clear headed. Thank you!

Jesus Draw Me Ever Nearer

Jesus draw me ever nearer

as I labor thro' the storm

You have called me to this passage

and I'll follow tho' I'm worn.

 

May this journey bring a blessing

May I rise on wings of faith

And at the end of my heart's testing

With your likeness let me wake.

 

Jesus guide me thro' the tempest

Keep my spirit staid and sure

When the midnight meets the morning

Let me love You even more.

 

May this journey be a blessing

May I rise on wings of faith

And at the end of my heart's testing

with Your likeness let me wake.

 

Let the treasures of the trial

Form within me as I go

And at the end of this long passage

Let me leave them at Your throne.

 

Jesus, draw me ever nearer to You.

 

 

This hymn has caught my heart in this time of seeking the Lord.  I'll type the lyrics here and provide the link for you to hear this beautiful song.

 

Jesus Draw Me Ever Nearer

by Keith and Kristyn Getty

from the album In Christ Alone

Journal Notes - Day Five

June 14, 2013

Colossians 2:23; 3:1-17

"These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against self-indulgence."

 

If then, I have been raised up with Christ...keep seeking the things above...set my mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.

 

For I have died - my life is hidden with Christ in God. I will be revealed with Him.

 

Consider my physical body dead to...impurity, passion, evil desire, greed...

 

Lay aside the old self and it's practices. Put on a new self that is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of Him who created me.

Put off what??

>food for comfort

>indulgence - lack of restraint: portions

>food for motivation

>Sedentary living

Put on what?? (replace what I am putting off)

>compassion: letter, phone calls, words and hugs

>kindness: acts of kindness for others

>humility: choose simple things (i.e. water to drink, simple foods), leave the best for others, take smaller portions for myself so as not to feed my pride

>gentleness: in my voice, my face, my actions

>patience: wait for them to get it, expect them to be slow on things, (prevents my anger and stress which leads to indulgence) go with them in their struggle, don't reach for a crutch to deal with the waiting, don't resist the wait - receive it, embrace it, learn from it, see myself in it

>bear with one another: my time, my attitude

>forgiveness: not blaming

>love: the perfect bond of unity

>peace of Christ

>thankfulness: keep a list

>word of Christ dwelling richly in me: memorization of scripture
   >wisdom teaching
   >admonishing one another
   >psalms, hymns, spiritual songs
   >singing with thankfulness

*all of the above in place of temper, anger, frustration, yelling, food and drink to deal with stress, joys, and struggles.

Whatever I do, WORD or DEED, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. 

Tracy, ask yourself:

Can I do this thing with gratitude to Christ?

Am I doing this in the name of Jesus?

Can I rejoice in knowing it represents Him and His glory?

Are my choices and actions renewing me?

Are they renewing me to a true knowledge according to the one who created me?

The kinds of foods I eat, will they strengthen me to know Him more?

These ways I respond to stress in my life, are they renewing me and helping me know my Creator more?

Are the actions I chose for my free time, my celebrations, my comfort and rest, do they lead me to true knowledge? Do they bring gratitude? Do they reveal the work of Christ?

Am I hidden in Him?

Are my desires, preferences, passions, delights - are these hidden in the person of Christ?

Let me hide in You, Lord. Hide in your gentleness and love. Let me hide in your patience and peace. Let me hide in your compassion and kindness. Let me hide in you as you bear with me in forgiveness, teaching me humility, gratitude and strength in your power and a mind set on those things which are above.

Journal Notes from Day Four

June 13, 2013

 

"Behold, how happy is the man whom God reproves, so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For He inflicts pain and give relief; He wounds, and His hands heal."

Job 5:17-18

This  verse is my promise of hope.

This fast. This pain and discomfort to my body. This is your reproof to my pride and indulgence. You bring this so that I would see the abuse and misuse I have in my life. I have wrongly fed and tended my physical body and soul. I have wrongly used food to cater to my desires. I am so humbled. First, by the fact that I have seen how a silly cup of coffee or tea makes me feel valued or gives me a sense of worth. That it feeds my selfish desires to feel I somehow deserve praise or reward for my work in day.

Lord, this work I do should be my act of service and worship. I do this for Your praise. I should allow You to bless me - not use Your blessings to reward myself - especially with things that harm me. I see, as my body is releasing whatever it's been holding, this pain in my joints, muscles, head, this reveals the physical damage I've done and the sin that brought me there. So many ways my body cries out, "Sinner! Selfish! Indulgent! Lazy!" 

Lazy.  Oh, how my laziness is revealed. I am always choosing an easier way. Yet, this fast causes me to choose and work for those foods that cleanse and heal. To provide what is healthy for my family I must work and not choose those things which are easy if they are not healthy.

Please continue to work in me. I am, right now, in a time of humility and grief over my choices. I didn't expect to feel so badly. Show me what is hurting me most. Teach me, especially regarding my flesh, teach me and heal me.  I joyfully accept your wounds and inflictions of pain - pain of body and spirit, because I know the promise of Your healing and relief accompany them.

Your wounds bring healing.  This fast (wound) brings healing. The world's wounds (foods and indulgence) bring more pain leading to death. My flesh (choices regarding food and drink) bring pain and keep me from You, which is a life empty and pointless.

Your wounds bring healing.

Preparations for the Daniel Fast

June 10, 2013

I've been hunting around researching until my brain is stuck in perpetual somersaults.  I'm trying to decide what is my best plan of action with my eating choices.  The Whole Foods diet that we eat just isn't cutting it for me with weight loss. Add to that the symptoms of diabetes that I'm experiencing and I really want to get a plan in to action.  However, with all these varying opinions and each one touting they have the True Method of curing everything that ails me, I'm left with a massive headache and no confidence in any of them. 

Too many voices in my head messing with too many voices around me has left me craving for some quiet and stillness.

Enter the Daniel Fast.  Once I realized that what I really needed was to find some time alone with the Lord, seeking what He has planned for me and our family's health needs (I'm not the only one struggling with nutritional issues), the idea of a Daniel Fast made perfect sense.  A bit of gentle cleansing for the body while creating opportunity to seek the Lord more fervently. 

It just so happens that the timing of this fast worked out perfectly with our school studies. I love how the Lord does that.  We are studying Daniel and the captivity of the Israelites. The children will be on the fast (modified for the youngest children) for 10 days, just as Daniel and his friends were. This is giving them some great insight into how those young men made hard choices, hopefully encouraging them to do the same.  David, Elizabeth, and I plan to follow the fast for a full 21 days.

I spent about a week prepping for the fast.  I spent time reading up on it. I researched and pinned recipes. I made a menu for a week's worth of meals and snacks.  David and I tried to wean ourselves a bit off of the sugar and caffeine so it wouldn't be such an extreme adjustment. I failed miserably on the caffeine-wean. Ouch.

Basics of the Fast:

Eat only plant-based foods.
No meats, dairy, eggs, yeast or baking powder (leaven), sweeteners, or caffeine allowed.
Drink only water.

I also included a fast from my social networking tools.  I have some great friends and support out there, but, I find myself going to them first when I know I am better to seek the Lord. Closing out the voices so that I am only hearing from the Lord and those who are directly connected to these issues is extremely important right now. 

I'm praying this fast allows me the time and tools to grow closer to recognizing the Shepherd's voice.

Prayer Points:

Along with direction for my health,

we are seeking the Lord regarding our finances,

wisdom regarding a business decision,

important communication issues that have arisen in our marriage,

clarity on some educational choices,

and I am desperate to know how to work with one of our children who is greatly struggling in many areas of life right now. 

I welcome any and all prayer support from my friends. 

Thanks for stopping in. It always is a great encouragement to know others are lifting me up and cheering me on.

Day 6 Vice-Busting

February 3, 2013
Day 6 Vice-Busting

Scripture Affirmation:
As I turn from sin towards God I experience wonderful times of refreshment.
"Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord; and that He may send Jesus, the Christ appointed for you." Acts 3:19-20

I saw this happen today. Well, the potential for it to happen.  We were leaving church to have lunch with friends.  We had a bit of a drive to get there, and I was famished. I had just drunk my bottle of water and was out.  David stopped to get some gum at the store and I asked him to get a snack for me. He went for peanuts and came back with chips. I was totally bummed. I knew I wouldn't eat the chips, but I was upset because I wanted *something* to eat. He also brought bottled water. Well, after I fussed about not having something for *me* to eat, I decided I could at least drink water. I drank half the bottle and guess what....I wasn't hungry anymore!  Had I chosen to turn from my sin of pouting and fussing, I would have found sooner that the Lord had a wonderful time of refreshment for me in the gift my husband gave to me.

I confess, Lord, that I allowed my flesh to control my emotions and my actions. I sinned against my husband by voicing my anger and I was selfish to my own needs, not being grateful for his effort to please me. Please, strengthen me to turn from my anger and selfishness during those times when my body is stressed and trying to overtake me. Help me to turn to you, your presence, that I would experience not only the physical refreshments you offer, but the ultimate refreshment of living out the person of Jesus Christ in my life through my thoughts, words, and actions. Thank you for wiping my sins away and bringing your healing.

Action:
Continue building the habit of drinking water. Increase the commitment. Make it the choice of beverage 90% of your day. 

It's going to be a little tough to give water more love than my coffee, but I'm trying. :)

Today we enjoyed a delicious lunch with friends in their home. I ate more than I normally would and even indulged in a small, but sugar heavy ice cream sundae.  No guilt, as I was pleased to enjoy the hospitality offered by these dear people.  Even though I went for seconds, my choices were well balanced with a delicous salad and hearty bread to accompany the amazing pasta that we enjoyed.  Grateful for a sweet time of fellowship and the grace to know it was from the Lord. It will be interesting to see if I notice any effects from the sugar into tomorrow.

Saturday December, 15, 2012

Today's Good Things:
A bit of extra sleep
A few things on the list accomplished
Stacked wood with my boys
Rejoicing in the Lord's answer to prayer

Today's Not So Good Things:
Craving sugar in a big way - too much chocolate
Battling sickness

We're fighting head colds here. I am just moving so slow and feeling miserable. Baby is nursing well in spite of feeling poorly. More frequently, though, and our nights are still broken. I should have aimed for a nap today, but worked with the children on some choring and christmas gifts instead. I feel pretty good that I spent some time with them today. I'm looking forward to a restful night and day tomorrow. Praying my head feels better soon.

12/12/12 - Last Chance

Today is a unique day. The last day we'll ever be able to match a month/day/year for another 100 years.  Guess I'll take this as a good sign to get back on track with my health and life goals. It feels like it's been 100 years ago that I was here. *rolls eyes*

This past fall I had my gall bladder out. The surgery went better than I expected and I was up and moving fairly normal by the second week. I can eat normally now with the exception of some foods that leave me feeling poorly. Most of those are foods I should avoid anyways. 

That recovery season did a number on me emotionally, though. That and the sleep deprivation I am dealing with right now due to baby's poor habits has me in and out of some pretty dark emotional funks. The last few months has left me struggling to just do the next thing most days. Sleep deprivation is horrible, especially when you feel trapped by it.  My husband has been working hard to help me get extra rest when possible, but it's a season that drives me to my knees. Or, at least it should.

I've gained weight, I can tell by the fit of my clothes. That's depressing enough. I find little time or motivation to exercise right now, feeling a bit overwhelmed by keeping up with schooling and housework. However, a good friend of mine and I are committing to putting our health in higher priority so that we can be better for our families.  We've started an accountability time and have made some goals for ourselves.  Mine are as follows:

>Taking supplements and vitamins daily (started St. John's Wort recently, 5 capsules to start and back off when I see improvement in mood)
>Better focus on nutrition and water intake (I desparately need to up my water intake)
>Add in exercise: I'm working on a walk with my son after lunch daily and a walk with my oldest daughter after dinner daily.
>Focus on daily bible reading, journaling, prayer time, and book reading - morning and evening
>Relationship building with certain family members
>Review and study Super Mom vs. Abiding Mom chart

It's been 2 weeks since I made that list. I've made some improvements in a few areas, but I have a long way to go. They are good goals. I'm embarrassed that they are so simple, yet so hard to meet right now. However, I need to just press on and I'm thankful to have something I'm aiming for at least.

This coming season, I just want to recapture the DESIRE I once had to take care of myself and CARE about how I feel and what direction I am heading. Right now I simply battle such a terrible feeling of complacency, it's causing real damage. I need to keep turning my heart to the Lord and growing in a greater sense of worship to Him so that I can see my heart change.  I am learning, in bits and pieces, that each battle I face is truly a result of a crisis of worship I have in my life.

Please pray I would see the Lord at work and I would join Him in what He is doing in my life.

Thinking Ahead...

Okay, so this coming week will look different than last. My time won't be spent on teaching as heavily as it was last week. I'd like to plan in a time for exercise for all of us, but myself in particular. I've really been wanting to start back up with my Ttapp video.  I'm going to make it a goal next week to try a few different times during the day to use it and see which seems best. I'm also going to join my husband on the prayer walks we've started in the evenings after the little ones are in bed. It's such a lovely time to be out together in the summer and we can exercise our spirits and bodies while we pray together.

I'm hoping to work on my water intake. My food choices have been pretty decent since I can't eat a whole lot right now anyways. I DO need to make a priority of calling this week to schedule a meeting with the surgeon regarding my gall bladder. Blech.

My other goal for the week is to get our library in order. I know that will keep me moving, as I have a lot of organizing and still some unpacking to do in there. So, other than it being Math Week, it'll be Library Week as well. ;)

It's always fun to think of how great you are going to do in the days ahead. Just pray for me that I can continue to get the lovely rest Kindred's been giving, the delicious time in the word both morning and evening, and stay focused on keeping my eyes, hands, and body in the right direction.

Monday July 16, 2012

Today's Good Things:
Visit with friends for the day
Coffee with more friends tonight
Lovely drive by myself this evening
Baby was a dream today while we were visiting
Ate well, skipped the eating out at Sam's and came home to our beans waiting for us in the crockpot. Great choice over pizza at Sam's that I can't eat anyways. :)

Today's Not So Good Things:
Couldn't find time to get in any exercise. Too much running.
Munched on pretzels and animal crackers on the way home. White flour = Bad. But, Hungry won out.

Had a great day. Such a wonderful day. So loved visiting with friends today. I've missed them all so much. I've missed getting out so much. I've missed having just a teeny bit of time alone so much. And I missed my baby so much, so was thrilled to snuggle her when I got home. :)

Still thinking more and more about my gall bladder. Hoping to get in some calls this week so I can get an appointment with a doc. Praying about whether I keep working on dealing with this diet-wise or just have it removed. I have a constant sore ache every day in my ribs. I really don't want to spend the next year or whatever in pain and struggling just to have it needing to be removed later. Seems a waste of my time and energy where it's needed so many other places. Prayer for wisdom are so appreciated.

Otherwise, feeling great! Looking forward to our first day of Math Week tomorrow. Looking forward to enjoying some learning time with my kiddos, tackling our chores and then, hopefully, treating everyone to a shopping trip for new school supplies. We all love when school supplies are on sale.

I'm dreaming of an early morning walk before everyone is awake. I feel like I'm too ambitious to think I'll be able to open my eyes that much so early in the morning. But, it would be SO lovely. We'll see how the night goes for Kindred before I can know for sure.

Wednesday July 11, 2012

Today's Good Things:
Followed my diet restrictions
Fought off another gb attack this afternoon with apple juice. Found out that really works.
Evening walk and fun at the park with the fam
Making some changes with schooling and really hoping it comes together
Mornings are going better
Logged on mfp

Today's Not So Good Things:
Snacked on a bag of cookies after lunch - wondering if that was my trigger
Major gb attack last night-woke me up even-needed meds. Ouch. :(
Tired. Oh. So. Tired.
More crabby kiddos, extremely so.

Starting to wonder if I need to make some connections on what they are eating to behavior as well. Haven't seen a couple of my girls this way before.  I took them to Wendy's for lunch yesterday as a treat. I had a salad but let them pick what they wanted. Chicken nuggets and then I got them each a Frosty.  I couldn't believe the behavior I saw today. I'm wondering if the food had something to do with it. :-?

I woke up about an hour into sleeping with terrible pain. Well, it was actually nausea but it progressed so fast I was moving like crazy looking for relief. I've been told apple juice or apple sauce works, so I booked it downstairs to get some applesauce down. The relief couldn't come soon enough, though. I didn't have lemon juice or apple juice on hand, so I just went for the meds that they gave me at the ER. Instant relief, I tell ya'. Well, not instant, but within 5-10 minutes. I was really surprised to see it work that fast. Or, maybe the applesauce helped some too? I don't know, but it was really defeating. I had worked hard that day to make careful choices. Especially as my husband took me out that night for dinner and there was only ONE thing on the Olive Garden menu that I could really eat. Yet, I still had a foul reaction. So sad. Then, on the way home from the grocery store, my nausea and tightness started to pick up again. By the time I got home, I was sending my son to the corner store for apple juice. (no idea why I didn't get some while I was shopping.)  That really helped. But, MAN do I HATE drinking so many calories!! I have never liked drinking juice bc it's so empty of fiber and yet so loaded with calories. Yet, juice seems to be helping me right now, so I need to adapt, I guess.

With all that, I've been afraid to eat anything. And tonight, I'm afraid to lie down for fear that will trigger an attack as well. I never had to be so careful, I am so frustrated that I have to avoid so many foods right now. Anyone reading, please pray for me to best understand what is the best course of action regarding this issue. Please pray I can find a doctor to help me make a wise choice. We have no leads on doctors in our area and I'm feeling pressed to find someone I can talk with soon.

On the upside, I had my pp appointment yesterday and all seemed well. The abdominal pain I'm having is likely diastasis, so I'll need to work on that. I'm hoping to start Ttapp again and that may help. Otherwise, I will look into more exercises designed to target that issue. Also, I weighed-in at 208, so at least I haven't gained what I was fearing I gained since Kindred was born. Now to just work at keeping off anymore.  Honestly, the scale isn't as high a priority to me right now as getting my gall bladder healthy and strengthening my body to ward off the aches and pains.

I'm off to try to sleep now. Fear or no fear, I'm completely exhausted and desparately need to sleep.

Tuesday, May 29 2012

Today's Good Things:
Good choices for meals
Did well on my first solo day
Did well on our first outing
Small bit of tidying up around the house = activity
Chose popcorn for snack instead of the sweet I was craving

Today's Not So Good Things:
Not always as patient as I should be
Missed an afternoon nap

Today was pretty good for a first day solo. The children were quiet this morning, so I was able to sleep in a bit after a very long night with baby. I'm feeling a little down, as she's down another 2oz on the scale today from Sunday.  I struggle so much every time and was SO hoping this baby would be better. Just can't seem to get that hindmilk in her system. Sigh. Pray for me to deal with this patiently and trust the Lord is going to bring us through.

I took the fam to my dd's sewing lessons today. I figured just driving in the car wouldn't be so bad. The littles played while we were there and I nursed baby. However, just carrying her around in her seat was tiring. I'll be staying home the rest of this week, for sure. ;)  Tomorrow is supposed to be really nice. After a rainy day, I'd love to take the children to the park, but I think I best stay home and rest. Maybe I can help them set up some kind of fun thing to do in the yard and hang out with baby on my swing instead. Just trying to balance the rest, nursing, and time with the others as best I can.

Hope to get a chance to read your updates tonight. Enjoying a movie with the bigs right now, though. Kinda special to stay up late together. :)

Insulin Free!

Well, after a week of skipping my insulin at night, my fasting numbers are better than ever. They are as low as they were while I was taking the insulin and def lower than I was seeing a few months ago. I'm not sure if it was the meter I was using or my body has just made some adjustments, but I'm so thankful!

I spoke with the OB last Friday. She was supportive but also a little unsure how the rest of the team is going to take a patient taking themself off of the insulin.  I hope I'm not making too many wave. Thinking for myself may not be what they were hoping for. ;)  The biggest change, at this point, with dropping the insulin is the potential for me to go down to 1 appointment a week instead of the 2 I'm doing now. One NST and another with NST and OB.  With an hour drive one way to the clinic, I'm praying they'll agree to let me go down to being seen once weekly.

The scale is staying steady right now, but I'm up 18 pounds for the whole pregnancy. I know that isn't much afa averages go, but it's a lot for my normal.  Part of me wants to be sad because I'm seeing the same number on the scale that I started at when I was losing weight last year. It was my *highest* number and I never wanted to see it again.  I know it's only a short time before I can start working to get that number down again.  And, of course, it's more than worth the sacrifice.  It's just hard to think of how hard I worked to lose those measely 20 pounds and now they're back again.  Pity party..wah...wah...wah.

This week is going to be super busy. We are pushing hard to get moved in by the end of the week. Our list to do so is L.O.N.G.  Please pray we have the energy, stamina, and help we need to accomplish the work the Lord intends for us to do.  I know we could be pushing for more than He's wanting right now, so I'm asking that we would work hard, yet be focused on honoring Him in our efforts.

I'm ending my days with aching feet and back. I've noticed a bit of swelling in my fingers and now my legs, ankles, and feet. I need to up my water, but I'm praying that's all it is. I definitely don't want to create more health issues to deal with at this point.

Every day is a new adventure right now. I don't know where I'll be or what we'll be doing from one day to the next, so any kind of routine or planning is out the window right now.  It's kind of fun for a season, but I think we're all ready for it to be over very soon. Moving in to the house won't end the work, but it will alleviate the stress of living in two different places. That is a welcome change.

Push

I am so incredibly beat!  The house is coming along. An amazing friend came yesterday with her 6 children and helped us accomplish everything I'd been trying to get done for the last week. I am so overwhelmed with gratitude.  I am also feeling exhausted.

Had my first NST today and another OB appt. All is well. The doc I saw today is one that I don't care for all that much. It annoys me when a doc acts surprised that all is well and keeps warning me that it likely to get worse. I'm not rescheduling for that again.

I did some shopping for convention supplies after my appt. Picked up a few children from a friends' house who was watching them. Came home to eat some yummy Indian Spiced Lentils and then fully crashed. My brain is feeling fried.  However, we have a lot to do to be ready to leave to convention set up in another hour. I think the fog is going to keep me in taxi mode while I allow the bigs to do their set up thing and just hang with my littles until dinner with the speakers tonight.  I'm feeling so worn out, it's hard to even be excited about the event.  I'll get there...I hope. ;)

I'll be out of touch until the end of the weekend. With David unable to attend convention with me this year, I'll be more than busy just keeping up with my duties there and Mom duties as well.  I am SO happy this is coming to an end. Something so satisfying about seeing it all wrap up.  I just pray it goes well and many are blessed by the efforts of the team.

Pray I can push and make it through the next few days.