I haven't journaled for a bit. My numbers have all been amazingly low. So much so, that I have even gotten a little lax on how I round out each meal. I'm still being cautious on portions and amounts of protein. Actually, what I've been lax about is not eating enough most of the time. I don't leave the table hungry, and with all these snacks, I guess it's just feeling hard to make my meals as large as the menu says they should be.
That said, I had 2 slices of Sam's pizza over the weekend while we were out shopping. I thought for sure it was going to do me in. Not so! My numbers were perfect! I don't get it because pizza before, especially 2 slices, would have sent me way over. Could be the meter. Could be insulin, I guess, even though I'm still only taking 10 units at bedtime. Could have been all the activity I had that day with shopping and such. Whatever it was, I'll take it!
I haven't been doing any official exercise. We have, however, been doing a lot of cleaning, purging, and moving as we are rearranging most every room in our house right now. My husband finished his last exam this past weekend (woohoo!) so we emptied his office and that leads to an avalanche of "newness". ;)
His new "thing", he declared, now that this year of studying and testing is over, is Diet and Exercise. I'm excited! First my daughter, now my hubby! It's amazing to watch everyone get excited about health and strength and want to do it together! A little weird it is happening now that I can't fully join in, but I'm so thankful. And, to be fair, I *am* working hard on my health, just not on weight loss, so I guess I am still part of the team. ;) Just need to focus a bit more on strength than I have been.
The last two days I've worked hard at rearranging shelves, books, toys, furniture, you name it. Today is going to be a rest day while I catch up on grading and school stuff. I'm hoping to get out for a walk after lunch, though. I have one here who has been super hard to love and I think a walk for the two of us would be a good thing.
My daughter and husband have been planning a family celebration for Valentine's day. She's planning to make some mini-muffins for our dessert so we have something more "healthy". Love that girl. I'm feeling a little bad that I'm not real involved in the planning and prep. But, honestly, I'm feeling swamped right now with duties and I just can't keep up. So, I'm choosing to be blessed and enjoy their efforts. :)
Blessings to you all this Valentine's day! Enjoy your treats, but remember to strive for balance as well as grace!!
Showing posts with label grace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grace. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Thursday January 5, 2012
Today's Good Things:
Busy and productive
Felt better than the day before
I did better emotionally today than yesterday
Talked with nurse and am pleased with their attitude regarding my glucose test
We're doing well with our new MOTH schedule, considering it's new ;)
Today's Not So Good Things:
Didn't have exercise time this morning
Should have been a little more strict with my menu - the fridge is getting bare so my choices aren's so great
I'm up late
So, my results from the 1 hour glucose challenge came back and my number was high, 157. Anything over 139 shows risk for GD. No surprise on my end. I faxed over the results yesterday and they called me right back. I spoke with the nurse today and she was very pleasant. She went over the plan for the 3 hour test that I now need to take. Again, no surprise on my end. ;) But, I was surprised to hear her say that it was not a big rush. She wasn't concerned at all about me getting it done by my next appointment on the 12th. That was pretty cool. So far, this office has been way more laid back than I expected.
So, at some point next week-ish I'll have to do a carb load for 3 days. Yuk. Then I'll go in for the 3 hour test. At this point, I'm resigned that I'll fail it and then see what they'll want to do from there. Is it a lack of faith on my part that I haven't even prayed and asked the Lord to help me pass this test? Honestly, it just doesn't even seem possible in my mind. I've been praying for the grace and strength to get through this pregnancy without fear and abuse. I haven't even thought to pray that my body would just work right. Why am I not doing that? I think I've been so intent on working through accepting the GD that I haven't even considered praying it away. I've been WORKING it away. Yet, I know it is not by works, but by grace that He is glorified. Help me be faithful in DOING what is right, yet still TRUSTING in your ability to deliver and accomplish your purposes in this. Forgive me for failing to bring all aspects of this to you, Lord. Forgive me for not walking in the hope that you give. I know that I've been afraid to truly hope because I don't want to be disappointed and go through the mourning of a normal pregnancy again. Help me work through these emotions, Lord.
Busy and productive
Felt better than the day before
I did better emotionally today than yesterday
Talked with nurse and am pleased with their attitude regarding my glucose test
We're doing well with our new MOTH schedule, considering it's new ;)
Today's Not So Good Things:
Didn't have exercise time this morning
Should have been a little more strict with my menu - the fridge is getting bare so my choices aren's so great
I'm up late
So, my results from the 1 hour glucose challenge came back and my number was high, 157. Anything over 139 shows risk for GD. No surprise on my end. I faxed over the results yesterday and they called me right back. I spoke with the nurse today and she was very pleasant. She went over the plan for the 3 hour test that I now need to take. Again, no surprise on my end. ;) But, I was surprised to hear her say that it was not a big rush. She wasn't concerned at all about me getting it done by my next appointment on the 12th. That was pretty cool. So far, this office has been way more laid back than I expected.
So, at some point next week-ish I'll have to do a carb load for 3 days. Yuk. Then I'll go in for the 3 hour test. At this point, I'm resigned that I'll fail it and then see what they'll want to do from there. Is it a lack of faith on my part that I haven't even prayed and asked the Lord to help me pass this test? Honestly, it just doesn't even seem possible in my mind. I've been praying for the grace and strength to get through this pregnancy without fear and abuse. I haven't even thought to pray that my body would just work right. Why am I not doing that? I think I've been so intent on working through accepting the GD that I haven't even considered praying it away. I've been WORKING it away. Yet, I know it is not by works, but by grace that He is glorified. Help me be faithful in DOING what is right, yet still TRUSTING in your ability to deliver and accomplish your purposes in this. Forgive me for failing to bring all aspects of this to you, Lord. Forgive me for not walking in the hope that you give. I know that I've been afraid to truly hope because I don't want to be disappointed and go through the mourning of a normal pregnancy again. Help me work through these emotions, Lord.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Soul Food
Journal Entry:
Sunday, June 26
Hebrews 5:11-14
"Concerning him we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is an infant. But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil."
"...you have become dull of hearing."
What does that mean? Later in the verses it says that those who are able to take the solid food of scriptures are those who have had their senses "trained" due to practice - or repetitive use. So, when my hearing is dull, when my sense of understanding has grown weak, it is due to my lack of use - no practice (exercise) to make my soul strong.
Lord, my senses need training. My children's senses need training. As I desire maturity, it comes by practice - repetitive use of your word- applying it to my daily tasks, choices and challenges. Teach me, as I work hard at growing my soul, to discern good and evil for every area of my life.
"The word of God is food and nourishment to the life of grace." -Matthew Henry
Sunday, June 26
Hebrews 5:11-14
"Concerning him we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is an infant. But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil."
"...you have become dull of hearing."
What does that mean? Later in the verses it says that those who are able to take the solid food of scriptures are those who have had their senses "trained" due to practice - or repetitive use. So, when my hearing is dull, when my sense of understanding has grown weak, it is due to my lack of use - no practice (exercise) to make my soul strong.
Lord, my senses need training. My children's senses need training. As I desire maturity, it comes by practice - repetitive use of your word- applying it to my daily tasks, choices and challenges. Teach me, as I work hard at growing my soul, to discern good and evil for every area of my life.
"The word of God is food and nourishment to the life of grace." -Matthew Henry
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I Dream of Sleep
I was planning to write up a post on my ongoing battle with sleep. Since I've been hinting at it and getting some questions, I guess it's time. It's definitely a key factor in this stuggle I've had to lose weight and live healthy.
Way back when I was a teenager, (WAYYYY back...lol) I would have spurts of time where I would wake unable to take deep breaths. I had abdominal cramping, and pain in my back and rib cage. I typically would move to the couch which gave me some better back support and it would eventually subside. This would happen for one night, maybe a few in a row and then it would go away. It would happen several times a year, but always went away.
We never knew what caused it. I never saw a doc. We figured it was maybe growing pains, and since it went away, nothing was done.
Through my adult years, I continued to have these infrequent "spells". Eventually, I learned tricks of propping pillows "just so" to avoid the spasms. The best I could understand what I was feeling was that my diaphragm was pinched or not expanding properly, leaving me gasp for breath.
Near the end of my 6th pregnancy (about 3 years ago now) I started having these night breathing issues every night. I credited it to third trimester woes and waited longingly for baby to come to get some relief. Unfortunately, the relief hasn't come.
Once baby was sleeping through the night, I realized that I was still battling for sleep. I now can get in about 3 and sometimes 4 hours of sleep before I wake with muscular spasms in my rib cage, back and abdominal pain, and reaching for that deep breath. At its worst, I was barely able to move and roll my way out of bed and needed to be vertical for 10 to 15 mintues before I could breathe normally. Currently, I can get from my bed to the recliner and it takes about 5 minutes of purposeful deep breathing to find relief. I can feel my organs or diaphragm or something shifting and making room for breath again. It's quite the experience. And I enjoy it, every night.
I did get some relief last year about half way through my pregnancy. All of a sudden, it was gone. I could sleep a full 8 to 10 hours without pain! What bliss!! And, oh, did I sleep!! I have never slept and enjoyed sleep so much as during that pregnancy. Even the night before my anxiety-ridden induction, I slept like a rock.
Alas, as soon as this baby was sleeping through the night, leaving me the luxury of doing the same, I am back to the same old pattern. Fortunately, this year I am resigned to the reality of it. This is a far better place to be than the terrible depression that I walked through because of this last year. My body was so physically drained that I could not mentally or emotionally cope. Right now, I struggle, but I am able to press on.
So, I currently live on 5 to 6 hours of sleep each night, taken in 3 hour clusters. Half the night in bed, half the night in a recliner. That, of course, doesn't account for times when Baby is fussy, stays up late, wakes up early, toddlers are sick and just normal life stuff happens. Actually, the normal life stuff is totally fine with me. It's part of who I am and what I do. The mystery of why my body doesn't work right, that really drives me batty, as there is no way of seeing an end or solution to the problem.
We bought a new mattress. No help.
I've seen my family doctor, a D.O. He kindly told me I probably have a spasmodic diaphragm that can't be helped. I'll just have to "live with it". He gave me a diagnosis of "Obese". Sigh.
I've discussed this with my midwife, and, even though very caring and concerned, she was only able to agree that losing weight is probably my best strategy, given her hunch that this is somehow related to sleep apnea.
I went to a different osteopath for several months. He believes I have overlapping ribs and a twisted diaphragm. He worked on those areas diligently, but I had no relief. I figure that I've had this issue for 20 years or so, probably it will take him a while to fix it. ;-) Unfortunately, our checkbook doesn't have quite that much patience.
So, here I am. Dreaming of a full 8 hours. Some nights I've gotten close, but I wake in terrible pain. I've googled my fingers raw looking for anything that seems to fit my symptoms. I have found others struggling with the same issues, but none have found a resolution.
In a big way, this motivates me to work hard at losing weight. If it could bring me some relief, I am so eager for it! Yet, I'm unsure if it's the secret weapon. I have had this problem all of my life, even when I was at my smallest size which was not overweight. It could be exasperated by my size now, I'm more than willing to agree to that. It could be linked to sleep apnea, which would at least give me a cause and a way to cope. Possibly, once we have work and an income again, I'll be able to have that checked out.
In another way, this is one of my biggest obstacles to losing weight. The lack of sleep will often leave me in that "hazy" feeling that comes in those early newborn days. I often feel like I am in a constant "survival mode", eating what is easiest, falling asleep when I should be awake, and lacking the drive I need to do Good Things.
For now, I work hard when I have the energy to do it. And then, when I hit a week that my body just can't keep up, I rest a bit more. It's the best way I've found to cope while I pray and continue to ask the Lord to lift this burden in whichever way He sees fit.
Way back when I was a teenager, (WAYYYY back...lol) I would have spurts of time where I would wake unable to take deep breaths. I had abdominal cramping, and pain in my back and rib cage. I typically would move to the couch which gave me some better back support and it would eventually subside. This would happen for one night, maybe a few in a row and then it would go away. It would happen several times a year, but always went away.
We never knew what caused it. I never saw a doc. We figured it was maybe growing pains, and since it went away, nothing was done.
Through my adult years, I continued to have these infrequent "spells". Eventually, I learned tricks of propping pillows "just so" to avoid the spasms. The best I could understand what I was feeling was that my diaphragm was pinched or not expanding properly, leaving me gasp for breath.
Near the end of my 6th pregnancy (about 3 years ago now) I started having these night breathing issues every night. I credited it to third trimester woes and waited longingly for baby to come to get some relief. Unfortunately, the relief hasn't come.
Once baby was sleeping through the night, I realized that I was still battling for sleep. I now can get in about 3 and sometimes 4 hours of sleep before I wake with muscular spasms in my rib cage, back and abdominal pain, and reaching for that deep breath. At its worst, I was barely able to move and roll my way out of bed and needed to be vertical for 10 to 15 mintues before I could breathe normally. Currently, I can get from my bed to the recliner and it takes about 5 minutes of purposeful deep breathing to find relief. I can feel my organs or diaphragm or something shifting and making room for breath again. It's quite the experience. And I enjoy it, every night.
I did get some relief last year about half way through my pregnancy. All of a sudden, it was gone. I could sleep a full 8 to 10 hours without pain! What bliss!! And, oh, did I sleep!! I have never slept and enjoyed sleep so much as during that pregnancy. Even the night before my anxiety-ridden induction, I slept like a rock.
Alas, as soon as this baby was sleeping through the night, leaving me the luxury of doing the same, I am back to the same old pattern. Fortunately, this year I am resigned to the reality of it. This is a far better place to be than the terrible depression that I walked through because of this last year. My body was so physically drained that I could not mentally or emotionally cope. Right now, I struggle, but I am able to press on.
So, I currently live on 5 to 6 hours of sleep each night, taken in 3 hour clusters. Half the night in bed, half the night in a recliner. That, of course, doesn't account for times when Baby is fussy, stays up late, wakes up early, toddlers are sick and just normal life stuff happens. Actually, the normal life stuff is totally fine with me. It's part of who I am and what I do. The mystery of why my body doesn't work right, that really drives me batty, as there is no way of seeing an end or solution to the problem.
We bought a new mattress. No help.
I've seen my family doctor, a D.O. He kindly told me I probably have a spasmodic diaphragm that can't be helped. I'll just have to "live with it". He gave me a diagnosis of "Obese". Sigh.
I've discussed this with my midwife, and, even though very caring and concerned, she was only able to agree that losing weight is probably my best strategy, given her hunch that this is somehow related to sleep apnea.
I went to a different osteopath for several months. He believes I have overlapping ribs and a twisted diaphragm. He worked on those areas diligently, but I had no relief. I figure that I've had this issue for 20 years or so, probably it will take him a while to fix it. ;-) Unfortunately, our checkbook doesn't have quite that much patience.
So, here I am. Dreaming of a full 8 hours. Some nights I've gotten close, but I wake in terrible pain. I've googled my fingers raw looking for anything that seems to fit my symptoms. I have found others struggling with the same issues, but none have found a resolution.
In a big way, this motivates me to work hard at losing weight. If it could bring me some relief, I am so eager for it! Yet, I'm unsure if it's the secret weapon. I have had this problem all of my life, even when I was at my smallest size which was not overweight. It could be exasperated by my size now, I'm more than willing to agree to that. It could be linked to sleep apnea, which would at least give me a cause and a way to cope. Possibly, once we have work and an income again, I'll be able to have that checked out.
In another way, this is one of my biggest obstacles to losing weight. The lack of sleep will often leave me in that "hazy" feeling that comes in those early newborn days. I often feel like I am in a constant "survival mode", eating what is easiest, falling asleep when I should be awake, and lacking the drive I need to do Good Things.
For now, I work hard when I have the energy to do it. And then, when I hit a week that my body just can't keep up, I rest a bit more. It's the best way I've found to cope while I pray and continue to ask the Lord to lift this burden in whichever way He sees fit.
"And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake ; for when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
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