Treading Water

Heather, you said that me writing is an encouragement. I'm afraid you may disagree when I finish this post.

I'm beat.  I went to bed feeling icky and woke up the same. I've not been sleeping well at all. Back to my same routine of waking every few hours struggling with breathing and feeling restless and uncomfortable. Often I can't get back to sleep, so I spend a couple of hours in the middle of the night tossing, turning, praying, fretting, and wasting time on the computer.

My days are full, but I am always dragging.  I have so much to get done with packing, cleaning, schooling, and basic life. Yet, my heart isn't in it. I feel like I'm walking around in a fog.  I'm excited about all we have going on, I'm just feeling too worn down to fully enjoy it.

I'm barely eating and not always the best choices.  I'm not eating junk, but I'm not getting in everything I should either by way of protein, vegies and fruits.  Often, I'm just too tired to bother. 

I keep forgetting to test. Though, my numbers are all fine when I do.  I'm relieved on that measure.

Today I'd like to rest. I feel like my body just needs a shut-down for a bit. But, I have many errands to run and an appt. to meet a new OB and check on dear little Kindy.  I'm still brainstorming on how to do that with all the children in tow. I'll be so grateful when tax season is over and my husband is part of our life again.

My bright spot of hope is approaching, though. My amazing man has made arrangements to take me away for my birthday this weekend. (a bit early, but I'll take it!) We haven't had a weekend away alone for many, many years.  We leave on Friday for a hotel with a spa. He arranged for a couples massage for us on Friday night. Saturday he'll be going to work so I'll have that luxurious room all to myself until his day is done.  Whirlpool tub, fireplace, balcony overlooking the lake, quiet...I just can't imagine.  I guess I'll push through today, push through the cleaning for my in-laws that needs doing tomorrow, and enjoy my weekend shut down. :)  I am SO ready to be a bride again and just enjoy the affections and company of my favorite person.

I apologize for not being the encouragement I long to be for your ladies.  My eyes glaze over whenever I get to any kind of reading in blog land. I do pray you are all pressing forward in your journeys. I know the Lord will complete this work He has begun in your lives. I treasure your prayers and thoughts and the kind notes you leave for me.  You are all a great blessing.