Presby-Musings

I don't do a lot of marriage counseling in my pastoral ministry--mostly by choice.   I'll happily work with couples on spiritual matters and offer what guidance I can when they're in need of help, but I will almost always refer them to a professional.  You see, even though I've got two advanced "divinity" degrees, twenty years of pastoral experience, countless hours of training, continuing education and personal reading and development in pastoral counseling... I am not ashamed to admit that I am not a trained counselor.  But, I have learned some things along the way--both in my life as a pastor and in my own nearly 27 years of wonderful marriage, and I will gladly share that with any couple I do counsel.   In fact, the one lesson that I unequivocally say was the most difficult yet helpful lesson I've learned is this:  Relationships require effort.    If you aren't working at the keystone relationships in your life ...

Today I am concluding a short mini-sermon series on marriage and relationships entitled "The Vow."  Marriage and committed relationships are hard.  They are are challenging.  But they are worth it.   And it's important for us to talk about marriage and committed relationships in church--and to learn what it takes to have a strong relationship that will stand the test of time, and all of the things that life throws at us.   Lots of Christians have clear ideas about marriage--what constitutes marriage, who should get married, who shouldn't get married... but here's a pesky statistic to deal with.   Christians seem to be failing in their marriages at a faster rate than everyone else.  I read recently that the divorce rate among evangelical Christians is higher than just about any other demographic.  I think at the heart of this problem is that we have lost our understanding of what it means to make good promises and keep the...

Several years ago, just before my youngest son was born, my wife and two other sons went on an epic road trip to Niagra Falls.  We drove from Florida to North Carolina to stay at my in-laws house for one day and then drove to Pittsburgh where we hung out and enjoyed the city for a day or so, ate at an amazing diner in Buffalo, NY, and then made our way up to our ultimate destination: The Canadian side of Niagara Falls.  We did all of the tourist-y stuff at Niagara--everything we could think of at least.  We laughed, played, ate awesome meals... it is easily one of my favorite family vacations ever. Then we had to drive 14 and a half hours back home. Did I mention that my wife was 28 weeks pregnant and had a broken foot? Did I mention that there were two boys...ages 15 and 5... in the same car... in the back seat... of a Honda CRV for 14 and a half hours? Did I mention that my middle kid, who was pretty little then had not pooped for five days? And that we...

Today is Groundhog Day. It also happens to be my parent's forty-eighth wedding anniversary.  I'm pretty sure over the years they've heard every joke that you could possibly make about getting married on Groundhog Day.  I'm also pretty sure they didn't think all that much about the fact they were getting married on Groundhog Day forty-eight years ago.  The now cult-classic movie Groundhog Day  starring Bill Murray has made the holiday a lot more famous than when I was a kid.  In the movie, Murray's character, who is a gasbag, arrogant TV reporter, gets stuck in a time warp while covering the Groundhog Day festivities in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. He is forced to live the same day over and over again every day.   It's rare in this day and age to find people who have been married for forty-eight years.  Most people don't have the courage, the faith or the constancy to stay married through thick and thin, the best and the worst, sickness and h...

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. (2 Peter 3:9) Today Merideth and I are celebrating our twenty-fourth wedding anniversary.  Twenty-four years ago today we both snuck out of our respective parent's houses where we were living at the time, and we met early in the morning at the Scotty's parking lot in Ocoee, FL.  From there we drove to the Orange County Courthouse in Ocoee and were married by one of the clerks in the office.   The rest of the day was a blur of happiness.  We had booked the Honeymoon Suite at the Grand Floridian Hotel at Disney, but the room wasn't ready and we had to spend the day out shopping, eating breakfast and lunch until we could check in.   I remember glancing down over and again at the shiny new wedding ring on my finger, barely able to believe what had just happened.   After years of being apart...

Today is my wife Merideth's birthday--so it's basically the best day of the entire year in the history of ever.  Additionally, in just three days, Merideth and I will be celebrating our 24th wedding anniversary, a day that I remember as if it was yesterday.   Merideth and I met when we were 13 years-old, so I have known her for 34 of the 47 years of my life.  That's most of my life for those of you who are good at math.  And here's a confession:  I have been in love with her for pretty much all of those 33 years--even though we weren't always together early on.  From the moment I met her, I was smitten.   The fact that God saw fit to bring us together at last after many years of being apart and estranged from one another is a miracle.  It's an even greater miracle that God has given me such an incredible gift--to call Merideth my wife--even though I am sure I don't deserve it.   As I reflect today on the incredible journey that Merid...

Today I am concluding the two-part sermon series "Love Song," a short study on love, relationships and marriage using texts from the Old Testament book, the Song of Solomon to help me teach.  Last week we learned a couple of very profound lessons that we'll be lifting up once again this week: When it comes to finding love, if you want to be with the right one, you have to be the right one.  It's not so much about finding the right person as it is about becoming the right person.  And when it comes to marriage, if you don't like what you are getting, look at what you are giving.   We discovered that there are four qualities that you need to be looking for in a potential partner, and that you need to be developing in yourself, if you want to have a successful marriage:  You need to look for and develop godly character.  You need to have higher standards.  You need to develop growing trust, and you need to practice consistent encouragement. ...

This week I am starting a new sermon series--a two-parter, entitled "Love Song."  This is a series that is inspired and informed by a series of sermons I heard from Craig Groeschel , a preacher I admire.  I've given this series my own twist, of course, but I wanted to give credit where credit is due. Over the next couple of weeks we are going to be using some passages of Scripture that are very seldom read on Sunday mornings in the context of worship, and even more seldom as the source of a sermon.  You'll see why in a moment. I think that one of the many ways that our Enemy, Satan--the Accuser--seeks to bring down the people of God is by destroying marriages.  I shared in a sermon last year that the divorce rate among evangelical Christians is higher than almost every other demographic in America .  Something is definitely wrong in the Church. In my opinion, one of the main reasons why church going couples in America are struggling in their marriages...