Showing posts with label Octopi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Octopi. Show all posts

Wednesday, 29 July 2020

The Fabulous World of DragonDance (TM)

The fabulous world of DragonDance(TM) will be a fabulous setting where your heroic player-characters seek dragons to dance with and win DragonDance battles. Young dragon dancers wander the perfectly safe and barley threatening world of magical adventure and dragon romance. While they wander dragon dancers meet new friends, try tasty new regional snacks and gain new adorable familiar spirit minions. The greatest thrill for every DragonDancer(TM) is to compete at temple regional Dragon Dances held once a century. As the contests are once a century at any one place, so the DragonDancers must travel to new Dragondance temples across the world.

Once a DragonDancer arrives at a Temple they must perform a solo audition to get final selection then if they pass to final selection will be shown a map of local dragons to seduce into the Forbidden Dance with dragons. Each temple has their own preferred dance style and own rules and score system with judges. Each area has different dragons who may or may not like dancing or might think you just want their treasure. Often friends who failed the audition help their audition winning pals seduce a dragon willing to dance. Once a dragon is enthused in the idea of dance it will test the DragonDancer in various ways to see if they are worth becoming one through dance. Finally, after the dragon's test you are ready for the great contest where you become one with your dragon dance partner and compete for fabulous trophies, ribbons and snack food sponsorship deals. For some unlucky dancers who foolishly chose bad dragons, they might get eaten or worse.

Sometimes a special choreographer can be recruited to improve their chances but this requires another journey and meeting another cantankerous supernatural choreographer. Choreographers are ancient immortals who can enhance DragonDancers chances of victory in a contest but are high maintenance and might cause conflict between a DragonDancer and their partner. Some case choreographers are liars or insane or hopelessly out of date or have their own pet dance theory judges don't cares for. During a DragonDance battle, a choreographer improves your chance on the Dance Battle Matrix chart. During the contest rounds, there is a festival to enjoy, friends to meet, snacks to try. There can also be intrigued as some rival dancers might try to influence judges or sometimes a judge has some agenda other than selecting the most beautiful DragonDance.

Quite a bit of DragonDance is wandering looking for a contest then finding dragons and choreographers and the tasty snacks they can be persuaded with. Sometimes distractions and strange spectacles or obstacles might delay you. Sometimes you might have to choose a faster but slightly risky path like a spooky woods or cross a bridge over lava. Sometimes mean failed DragonDancer gangs will demand you dance battle them or hand over all your tasty food items and familiars. Sometimes you meet disturbed people who want to hurt dragons and you have to help them recover from this terrible malady with love, kindness and the healing power of dance. Yes there are dark dank dungeons but the scary monsters use unconventional dance styles that could send you to hospital. Monsters will steal your treats and dance trophies too so there is very little to gain from them mostly unless you're on a quest to please a dragon or choreographer or a judge.

Players can play both kinds of exiting DragonDancer character types in DD, a wizard-dancer or a witch-dancer. There are hundreds of adorable magical spirit familiars you can gather on your journeys that give you magic spells like sheet ghosts, unicorns, mini dragons, talking animals, sprites, goblins, basilisks, manticores, Griffins and many more. To tame your familiar a wizard-dancer treat their familiars with tasty treats or offers to help them in return. A witch has strong allegiances to certain types of spirit and dragon and uses their kinship to persuade familiars to join with them. Naughty magicians might trick, bully, blackmail and otherwise be mean to their familiars and you can help them by defeating their masters and freeing them. Some might join with you in gratitude. Having a dance battle with a wild familiar can result in friendship but failure might send you to the hospital from the complicated otherworldly dance moves.

Sometimes your battles don't go so well and you might end up in hospital which takes time and accrues massive bills. If you cannot be rescued and taken to the hospital or your dragon eats you, the hospital will just clone you which of course is very expensive and sometimes creates legal problems if there are two of you. Some lucrative snack food sponsors include medical benefits and a supply of snacks and branded outfits and uniforms. 

Possibly might cross over with my Magical Octopus Princess Adventure game but the humans in that are possibly too mean but could be a crossover.

Monday, 27 July 2020

Carousing in the Tundra



So my tribal players are about to head to a great mammoth clan gathering which will last a week where leaders and shaman meet and foreign tribe guests state grievances and there are lots of feasts. The players tribe will be bringing seed bread buns and some magic loot and trinkets they found exploring ruins and such. I guess I'm a bit inspired by Norse gatherings with religious legal and social significance.

Festival Itinerary of Seven days 
1 Gathering where people set up camps, meet and start to trade
2 Market day then the little feast and welcome speeches 
3 Holy day with long ceremonies then the wise ones meet on occult matters
Legal grievances from within tribe dealt with then foreign tribe delegates 
5 People engage in contests than a small feast
6 People trade while leaders meet and the great feast
7 Everyone gathers goods, unpack and go separate ways chanting

Other projects for this setting....
Statting up centaur variations
Statting up Atlantean cursed evil wizard types

Any of these entries suggesting a quest or scene could be played as they happened if plying as encounters at event. If you using the tables to cover what happened over a longer time period they could indicate an adventure that happened "off-screen" in that time

Types
01 Feasting
02 Contests
03 Barter
04 Craft
05 Conflict
06 Friendship
07 Romance
08 Adventure
09 Dream Quest
10 Supernatural

d100 Carousing in the Tundra
01 Offered a strange gift of mystery meat 1=from magic animal heals d3HP +1CHA for hour 2=from a rare animal you've never tried 3=human flesh 4=something disgusting
02 Og offers some bog grog he brewed in a log, mildly alcoholic but needs flavour
03 Catch feral child-stealing scraps and raised partly by some animals, all amazed
04 Bard sings tribal lineage & the song of tribal hero who made a pact with the tribal totem animal
05 Odd hunter brings a strange creature to eat claims it's the best eating. Both have d3 minor cosmetic mutation 
06 Someone suggests a cruel horrible and spectacle and argues how great it will be
07 Blacked out on strange potions, gain infamy for hilarious drugged-out antics

08 A famous hero is toasted by all and recants their amazing battle with all at feast
09 Someone at feast took great offence and tried to stab you, then left bitterly
10 Invited to meet important leaders informally
11 
A boasting contest of great deeds and battles spreading the fame of all
12 A hunting contest who single-handed brings in best beast alone wins
13 A target shooting contest 
14 Obstacle race with a climb a swim and bypass a dangerous creature
15 Craftsmen present greatest works to the tribe to admire for fame
16 A wrestling contest is proposed
17 A challenge to collect a trinket like a scale or a feather from a monster's lair
18 Spent lots of time playing knuckle bones
19 Teams chase a small animal, goblin or hogskin bag of peas around field for a day
20 Teams move a giant boulder the furthest
21 Trader from the sea d6 1=cowrie shells 2=salt 3=dried fish 4=shark teeth 5=pearl 6=dry seaweed
22 
Trader in underworld fungus d4 1=heald d4HP 2=detect magic 1Turn 3=delicious dried rations 4=grants a spirit vision, if users saves just vomit for d3, fail save meet an otherworldly spirit, try to do in a safe place, not a hell cursed graveyard
23 
Trader in flint and some exotic stones pieces d4 1=obsidian 2=crystal 3=basalt 4=jade
24 Trader in d4 colours of ochre for artwork and body paint
25 Trader in exotic furs, fine cloaks, mittens and boots
26 Trader in carving and bone tusks and some spear tips, medallions and figurines
27 Trader has strange dried animal parts, petrified bones, and huge scales
28 Trader has strange greenstone artefacts of carved strange gods and spirits
29 Trader in exotic trinkets and charms and some pieces of d4 1=amber 2=jet 3=opal 4=copper coin
30 Trader in stories knows locations of strange secret places of forbidden ancient ruins, caves into the underland and other strange things
31 Craftsman has some scraps of copper and others come to watch him make "coins" sharp pieces of metal for cutting or scraping and symbols of status
32 Witness an old wizard complete enchanting a stone axe over many days with assistants
33 Hear story of a mysterious non-human craftsman in mountains
34 A flintnapper showing new style of spearhead they learned while captured by orcs
35 Meet a famous tattoo artist and many trying to get on his job list
36 Craftsmen trying to barter for a small "starstone" iron meteorite from an old shaman
37 Stranger selling d4 strange cursed evil weapons of the ancients
38 Hunter selling scruffy dirty tiny humanoid in a sack who has an exotic craft skill
39 Hear of an impressive weapon or crafted item lost recently d4 1=in a spring 2=inside a beast 3=fell in a sinkhole 4=stolen by someone 
40 A tribal leader requires someone to locate a secretive craftsperson who lives as a hermit for a commission
41 A fight breaks out over who owns an item or wins a contest or bad trade
42 A visiting foreigner makes accusations of evil conduct in public about a tribe member
43 A mysterious wizard makes some threat about the future then vanished in smoke
44 Two tribe members battle for the love of a third person 
45 Several families in long term feud try and stir up trouble against rivals with lies
46 Two men battle a death duel over some matter of honour and pride
47 Some other tribes are declared enemies and unwelcome in area
48 Someone tried to murder a tribal delegate
49 Someone was struck by a curse and experts are called in to find who
50 Someone was found murdered in morning
51 Meet a crafty hunter who travels far and wide

52 Meet a heroic warrior who has battles with strange monsters
53 Meet a cheery bard who is looking for inspirations of heroic deeds
54 Meet a wise person who offers to perform a divination
55 Meet someone who found a strange valley of foreboding ruins and monsters
56 Meet a tribal leaders family and get on well
57 Meet a strange foreign guest who might come with you a while
58 Meet a supernatural changeling in disguise among humans
59 Meet someone who lived as a slave with unusual foreign people and saw lots of strange things
60 Meet a demi-human visitor and learn a few useful phrases of speech
61 Someone stalks you offering you love, obsessive and jealous
62 Someone offers a marriage proposal to their children, offended if rejected
63 Have a brief exiting flying until their normal lover returns
64 Develop a horrible itch, after much laughter from peers you visit a healer
65 See an attractive stranger but family do best to keep you away
66 Tribal elder looking for a mate for a disadvantaged person d4 1=disabled 2=mutant 3=idiot 4=some taboo birthmark or feature shunned by tribe outsiders cant see
67 Meet an attractive person but they look after a cranky elderly relative or a child as part of the package
68 Met a charming person with terrible secret d4 1=lycanthropy 2=cannibalism 3=is an abhuman beastfolk hybrid and characteristics are just starting to show 3=mysteriously last lovers all died 4=actually a changeling and if discovered tribe will go crazy
69 Met a lover who is a spell caster and kinda did some crazy stuff you you sneaked away
70 Made out with a supernatural shapeshifter, they return to fairyland and either a hybrid monster child grows up resentful in fairyland under fey dilated time flow then hunt the parent who abandoned them....or the lovers family are disgusted and send a magical assassin 
71 Explored a deep dark cave possibly an entry to the underland lost kingdoms

72 Discovered a ruin populated by monsters with buried buildings intact connected by tunnels
73 Discover a huge broken statue buried head, which if exposed in a serpantman
74 Discovered a chasm with hundreds of animal bones where vultures, ghouls and hyenas live in cliff caves
75 Discover an ancient magical tree people have seen strange creatures climb up and vanish 
76 Discover a stone monolith with interesting markings as old as time
77 Discover the partial skeleton impeded in the rock of a gargantuan creature
78 Discovered the entrance to a lost world valley hidden by an illusion or fog
79 Discover an elemental node guarded by a d4 otherworldly elemental beasts 
80 Discover a magical creatures lair, could be source of wisdom or a fight
81 Dream visions of your totem animal and you living as beasts in the wilderness, if you don't have one you do now
82
 Dream visions of  an evil entering the land that will cause trouble in the future, an omen will warn you when the creature comes close
83
 Dream visions of a great spirit offering you a gift if you come to their spirit lodge for a ceremony, if yes gain a 0 level spell (or better)
84
 Dream visions of someone who is or will be important you have not seen, they are in peril 
85
 Dream visions of a dead ancestor tells you some unfinished business you need to deal with in return for knowledge of the ancestors
86
 Dream visions of an evil ruined temple where an evil cult worship a broken relic of the forbidden elder gods, hoping to awaken or release some ancient evil
87
 Dream visions of wilderness place where a great treasure resides for you to find, will come across the exact place on some travels and know where to find a mysterious hole
88
 Dream visions of what evil plot some enemy tribe is about to launch on the world 
89
 Dream visions of ancient dead wizards awakening from crypts and looking out over the world that has forgotten them and hunger 
90
 Dream visions of a mighty spirit tells you where an evil enemy of the tundra dwells on a mountain top and a great treasure they possess
91 Witness a magician contest with shape-changing, blasting rocks and other wonders
92 A shaman takes you to a secret meeting to warn you of some secret threat and offers a petty magic item like a potion

93 Hear of a strange tribe in a stone hut in mountains who can bring the dead back from the grave
94 Someone talked about the dead too much and a undead was attracted and had to be repelled just averting tragedy
95 Someone fell ill and experts look for supernatural causes like spirits or secret witches 

96 Receive a bundle of 2d6 +1 arrows or darts or sling stones from a leader
97 Given a wolf (or another animal) pelt cloak can turn into a wolf just like a druid once per day
98 Taken in secret by elders to meet a supernatural being like an elf, naga, sphynx or dragon to be told of some forthcoming threat and offers advice as needed
99 Got into a contest with a changeling and tricked it out of a magical +1 magic item, the changeling will seek revenge for humiliation 
100 Taken to a supernatural realm by great spirit or god where it d4 1=warns you of a future threat 2=fills you with ecstatic feelings of oneness 3=tells you where to find a relic 4=offers to make a pact with your people or bloodline 

Saturday, 25 July 2020

Tribal record form for Stoneage Sorcery



So made these in anticipation of my game tomorrow cos I'm on lock in and was busy on a patraeon book and my sleeping a mess and I thought it was Sunday already and cleaned my house for nothing. Phew!

A couple of POD LuLu items of note. ASE modules were gold I know them well and played for a year as planet Psychon. Planet Eris is a campaign setting familiar to some bloggers set out like a 70s Blackmoor feel but it is far future planet fantasy. It is nice and simple and a good example of a setting in an a5 booklet. Has elaborate keys and sailing rules and not maps to with them but it was an intersting booklet. I got Dysons Delves 2 in paperback and regretted not having hardback which is easier to use at the table - hardback sits open better and will survive. Has lots of caves and interesting take on the old-school vibe. I am way stingier than Dyson with treasure so I made mechanics players can get stuff they need because I'm too mean. 

Anyway, my cave party is now big enough for factions. Especially as they have rescued people from two unpopular tribes. I could also use this for rival tribes if needed. Running my Sunderhill module at moment and on the cusp of discovering the underland is pretty much like the forbidden age of darkness that broke the world and left it in ruins... Literally, the evils of that age only survived underground and even had gods drop mountains on them.

Current thoughts on this campaign direction: Stuff to do?
Have found Mythos stuff and ancient black magic ruins before
Know of evil wizard spiders and a vampire in mountains
Prehuman spirits are influencing Mammoth tribe....(actually a Cthulhu scenario)
Valley of the Red Ape from Dyson Delves 2 fits in well
Could spend a season in underland which is same in all my setting eras
New giant player could have them plundering invisible giant sky castles
A spacecraft might be a good thing to find and in a few cave genre things
Maybe just drop in Misty Island of the Eld
Could go full Yor and whole zone could be on planet Psychon....
Or time jump to the Bronze Age
Or visit other planes to kill monsters 
-hells in this era busy punishing wicked of last age to bother with mortal world

Will be some tension with other tribes
-tribe lack laws and traditions are all a bunch of mongrels without ties to land
-rivals with greatest tundra warriors - might need some big spring gathering
-snake and spider tribes want revenge over 
"kidnapping" their youths 
-new centaur tribe a complete menace to every tribe (i got minis)



d100 Rumours About Orks





































"Have you heard what the village is saying about orcs nowadays? Heresy I say. Orcs have souls? Preposterous. Next, you will tell me about orc paladins and don't they dont all deserve to be strangled at birth"

In my game there are a bunch of wizard spells to make orcs. Oldest turns tortured elf into lots of orcs, then they did one with dead elves to orcs then all those wizards died and they made murdered humans into orcs. Nowadays wizards use pits of alchemical mud to make orcs in batches. Orc slave-coaches teach fresh born fully adult male orcs how to be cruel sadists for a month in their spawn pit before sending them to military school.

Nowadays most orcs are sick of wizards and evil overlords and breed like everybody else and have diverse cultures and individualism

Then there is spell where wizard surgically fuses a human and animal into a beast abhuman in 12 hours without anesthetic. Abhumans not so keen on wizards either. Wizards are jerks.

Thanks to those who came and chatted on my FB page

d100
Rumours About Orks
01 Orcs are all male, they don't breed naturally and are made by evil wizards
02 The first orcs were made from elves and orcs say a few elder orcs still live
03 In earliest times wizards made orcs from the recent dead as taught by an evil god
04 Nowadays evil wizards just use alchemical mud pits to make adult male orcs 
05 The wizards who make orcs are careful to instruct them in brutality and cruelty
06 In distant past orc heroes quested for their own women from the goddess
07 Most of orc barbarians hate wizards and any dark lords on idiot crusades
08 Some say orc women are far away making babies and food but what about orc amazons?
09 Some cleric set up a hospice to help orcs widows and now they operate a textile workshop and make best gambesons
10 People say there are half-orcs but usually just a name people who fight with orcs on the same evil crusades and adopt orcish fahions. Barbarians really hate being called half orcs
11 Humans and orcs are the two most recent mortal races and who would win has been uncertain. Both were slaves of evil wizards until the age of darkness ended
12 They say elves hunted and killed those who knew spell to make tortured elves into orcs but some say elves invented the spell to use their own dead against their enemies when it was clear elves would never recover their losses
13 Once you kill off the wizards and evil priests directing the orcs (most always human) they tend to go feral and set up wilderness tribal kingdoms like barbarians
14 Orc and human barbarians fight all the time but have some begrudging mutual respect. Occasionally they unite to destroy some wizard warlord who tries to build a wilderness stronghold
15 Many of those who once used orcs as slaves and magical cannon fodder have abandoned the practice as orcs tend to rebel and fight each other and turn on their masters
16 Many orcs serve hell claiming they get better deals with devils than serving humans or gods
17 Most orcs people see in human lands are mercenaries but some cities have a humanoid district where orcs live and produce cheap efficient tools and weapons. Many humans are wary of cheap competition but the guilds allow it as it meets a part of the market and used to upsell other goods
18 A magistrate hired some orc bailiffs due to local corruption and the well paid orc pair worked to the letter of the law and helped clean up the village but then they returned home
19 Lots of humans don't want to think of orcs as people because they just want to kill and enslave them without guilt
20 Orcs live short and brutish lives they say but not all orcs live lives or war and will live much longer if fed well and dont work the worst jobs
21 Orc gods were beings of darkness and wrath who became more orc-like over time 
22 Orcs and goblinoids have some common physical features but are not direct kin. Orcs will often dominate goblins and consider hobgoblins dangerous rivals and fear bugbears. They have united against humans and elves before but might squabble
23 One thing you can say about orcs is most tend to kill off mutants among them early which more humans should adopt
24 Orcs of different tribes squabble sometimes near battlefields but with their own tribe they demonstrate great teamwork and ingenuity and loyalty
25 Say what you want about orcs but they sure don't shun doing things in new ways and keep up with tools of war like siege weapons and gunpowder. Humans underestimate orc imaginations tend to die
26 When you make a newborn orc the wizards starve them and torment them in pits for a month, educated by turncoat orc slave drivers before they are equipped and trained for battle. You should see what orcs do when they figure out this cruelty
27 Orcs actually feel pain but they stoically put up with it and embrace scars and suffering. Occasionally work themselves to death or ignore injuries to a fault
28 Orc medicine is effective but stings, burns and promotes scarring so plenty of humans are reluctant to use it. Orc first aid is quite good and not just burnt logs or leeches for everything like people say
29 Orcs are not the best at caring for animals but their own breeds of dogs, horses, goats and cattle look hideous to humans but are tough and hardy and more nocturnal. It is nearly always untrue their beast have diabolic features, mostly just leaders pets
30 To orcs admitting weakness or injury is an invitation to be killed or left out 
31 Wolves and orcs get along well even equally and some ride dire wolves with evil intelligence bigger than horses. Many orcs have ordinary wolves as companions
32 Orc shamans change tribe members from male to female or vice versa depending on war or peacetime and that's why you don't see orc women much in wartime. The orcs don't seem to care or think it matters or its our business
33 Orcs nowadays seem to be not just the baby eating brutes of grandpas day. I saw orc clerics in the city. Was a popular orc bard in town a while (who went home as humans too soft). Turns out they are pretty law-abiding and don't want trouble  
34 Having some orc workers is ok, they are stronger and cheaper but don't let them own land and keep them poor for the worst jobs or there will be trouble
35 Dwarves are always crying about humans and orcs stealing their technology and changing it. Dwarves fought a war of extermination on orcs over iron and during it as Dwarves deployed better weapons the orcs copied and even improved designs but cheaper and faster. The dwarves saw they were numerically losing and the orcs numbers just bounced back again and again. Orcs are pretty unimpressed by this and have not forgotten, taking relish in destroying dwarf strongholds intended to last forever
36 Orcs often fraternise with goblinoids, abhumans and beast folk rather than humans or demihumans. They get tired of humans and demihumans looking at them in fear and disgust 
37 Orcs like piercings, tattoos, branding and scarification. Many paint themselves. Prettiness is considered vain, weak, wasteful and useless. Their markings carry complex meanings humans mostly miss unless fluent in the language
38 While bright elves sneer at orcs, dark elves treat them better than most humans do. Orcs often work for them as servants and mercenaries so you see some dark elf trinkets and runes on them sometimes. Dark elves apparently aided orcs and helped them revolt in the past
39 Yea orcs don't like paladins. Too many massacres of orc civilians. Paladins say there are no orc civilians and were even caught burning bodies and encouraging the lie about there are no or orc women or children
40 The orcs that grow up from babies raised in families seem more complete and more complex. I heard of orcs with own druids working to heal their race
41 Some barbarian orcs liberate their own kind enslaved by wizards to recruit ready-made warriors who don't ask questions and quick to prefer orc to human masters
42 Ground orc tusk is an aphrodisiac but orcs go crazy if you mention it and won't just let you grate any off even for a few coins
43 Lots of orcs work in abattoirs as increasingly humans won't do it. Orcs really have a knack for butchery and tanning and have a good nose for spoiled food 
44 I thought orcs only ate rotten meat and bones and leather but I went to a wedding feast, and they had olives, nuts, dried berries, cheese, dried meat, worms, snakes, frogs, eels, larvae, pickled cabbage, eggs, mushrooms, acorn bread and fish 
45 Poorest orcs will eat anything without complaint but those with money seem to like variety and even get fussy complaining about who even touched food in the kitchen. I guess they smell food more than a human does
46 I thought from the war, orcs never bathed but actually, some have enlightened views on baths and sewerage and waste using it as fodder for certain monsters. SOme prefer dust baths to remove fleas
47 You heard stories orcs only steal food and don't have farms but a wizard told me orcs often farm monsters in their underground labyrinths which they trade with each other. Their monsters are well cared for and named so orcs get upset when humans kill their beloved beasts. On the frontier, they release their extra beasts to keep slow human civilisation
48 I knew a scared war veteran who lived with the orcs a few years and he never felt judged for his appearance and war wounds, in fact they were impressed and considered him one of them 
49 Orcs at home like to stage heroic operas about their heroes escaping servitude and betraying their dark lord. They even have contests but not many humans brave enough to try the events that last for days
50 Its perfectly legal to use orc corpses for animal food, leather or golems. But the orcs do get upset. For some reason, people find orc flesh golems less horrible than human ones
51 Orc jerky is delicious just check who they made it out of first 
52 A famous orc Longarm used to protect the forest from chaos mutants and cultist
53 An orc gladiator started a revolt and all the orc gladiators involved had to be put down. Was a shame as I had lots of bets placed
54 I noticed lots of those barbarian orcs really hate whips and slave manacles. They give really dirty looks at them. Though I did see an orc strangle a slaver with a chain and she seemed happy
55 There was a famous archer who married several orcmaids and even became one and everything in a magical orc kingdom in the deep. Eventually, he went into the deep to claim his own kingdom
56 In the wild places of the world where humans can barley survive, you can find tribal orcs
57 Cyclops orcs are pretty strange. Famed as smiths they act like they are smarter than everyone and claim to have made tools for the gods long ago. They seem pretty civilised and even make stuff which looks prettier for non-orc customers
58 One famous orc tribe road huge wild boar, some from the deep ride lizards, others ride huge dire wolves and orc heroes rode wyvern
59 In the war I saw orcs elect a new leader with a dance contest. They said wasting good orcs with violence was helping the enemy
60 Orc tooth tipped arrows can kill and elf if made by shaman of the elf-eater cult. Elves have a bounty on this cult
61 Most of the chaotic orcs you see worship demon cults, adopting their sigils. Over time they come to develop traits of their patrons and specific cult mutations. Mostly orcs tend to law and evil 
62 Orcs treat prisoners wounds and carry them for days. Only when hard-pressed did they eat a few to stop a goblin thrall riot. Orc slaves often earn freedom after years of service and get treated better than goblins. They will also random off well off prisoners keeping them for years
63 Orcs often seem confused buy luxury and they often have been seen destroying statues and masterworks. They dread the softness civilisation brings like it has to humans and elves. Metal items can be traded or recycled but works of symbolic waste disgust them. The art in their palaces and temples are mostly to generate fear and suggest leaders or tribal power
64 Orcs are very canny with money and materials using the least material for the most effective. Items being more uncomfortable to use or with sharp edges doesn't bother them.  
65 When you give an orc crafter materials for a job they will always come out with spare scraps for some other project
66 Orcs frown on waste and comfort. They had nothing for so long and they still don't feel they can afford to squander wealth in a world set on destroying them all. Lots of orcs collect string, pebbles and other scraps "just in case"
67 Orcs have been known to serve giants. Some are slaves but many choose giants over humans and their gods who keep the orc and giant down
68 Some orcs came and sacked a monument of a paladin standing on a pyramid of orc heads. Just rubble now 
69 I had to look after work prisoner labour gangs after the war, and they seemed utterly unaware humans were not made by wizards or the differences between men and women. They thought children were a slave race or sprites 
70 I met an orc shaman who explained many orc ancestral spirits are cursed and mutilated in magical and spiritual warfare in the past. The shaman led his followers to try and free these cursed souls and remove the corruptions of chaos and dark lords so the dead can rest
71 A tavern of war veterans was comparing their orc-ear-necklaces and all of them were found dead poisoned or stabbed
72 Lots of orcs kept being bastards after the war because of all those cursed evil relics the dark lord handed out like honey cakes. If you're not allied to evil many of those relics will turn bad or turn you bad. Also, why give up that magic if it kills better 
73 Orcs can survive in the worst places humans cannot and living in hellish places means humans will not encroach. This makes them harsh and unforgiving and often exposes them to evil influences in such forbidden lands. The humans in the same places are similar
74 Orcs perform secret rituals in wild places with whicker structures covered in flours and vegetation which they destroy after so outsiders never see them
75 The idea there is only one kind of orc and they are bad is a popular view. Many orcs think humans are all mass murderers
76 People say orcs and elves hate each other but they know each other quite well and sometimes share enemies. They have made no direct action on each other for centuries
77 Orc sympathisers are in league with chaos, demons, witches, devils, mutants and cthulhu
78 The real trouble will be when nobility realise orcs are cheaper to feed than humans and put up with more suffering, the common humans will be finished
79 I heard a few tales of orc wizards recently which sounds bad. Probably turn us into frogs then eat us. Some are overcoming their suspicion of wizardry  
80 Orc gods are vindictive and vengeful entities orcs worshipped just to spite humans
81 Ogres sometimes live among chaotic orcs sometimes as bullies or elites or as slaves 
82 Deep under the earth, there are orc kingdoms thousands of years old, civilised with great armies unseen on the surface this age and in eternal unseen war
83 If you know the right gestures and signs you can challenge some orc leaders to battle 
84 Orcs can be dealt with by gift of food and weapons to start a parley
85 To an orc taking a cursed thing and making it work for you is seen as great cunning
86 One of the old elf to orc dark rituals of old could make a single elf into many orcs
87 The towns that ban orc labour have more orc bandits
88 Orcs don't discuss their families or children so no enemies will learn of them and harm them. What seems callous or proof of their lack of family is an actually deliberate reaction to humans massacring orc families
89 Lots of humans are raised by orcs and live as orcs. Especially when orcs can't replace children fast enough they will adopt war orphan humans (but not demihumans)
90 Orcs don't really find humans or elves attractive but some take delight in tormenting pretty things for their evil masters and just spite from evil upbringing
91 Some wizards crossed ogres and orcs to breed sterile bodyguards, not as dumb or big as ogres but big orcs
92 Orcs forearms are slightly longer than humans and have a peculiar gait. 
93 A typical orc is a match for a common guard or regular soldier but the professional arc warriors and especially orc barbarians who were bred by evil wizards as let's troops long ago making them stronger and better in light with powerful leaps
94 Chaos orcs appearance varies more depending on their cult but also carry deformities from diseases and parasites common to chaos warbands and being intimate with demons
95 Long ago there was a tribe of dire-wolf-orc centaurs or perhaps people then had not seen anyone ride animals
96 The orcs of the deep have a pantheon of orc gods who claim other accounts of orc origins are enemy lies. These orcs claim blood from ogres and giants making them frightening but also have heavy infantry and pike formations and crossbows
97 Some orcs worship siege weapons as mobile shrines dedicated to an orc ancestor, devil or demon
98 Druidic orcs seem like many other hidden woodland races and wild forest people and they all intermingle in secret and avoid humans
99 Orcs have been seen in legions of hell and in service to demon nobility on their floating realms in the maelstrom
100 Orcs have offered some humans to come and live among them for a year or even come to a feast to help peace. So far nobody is willing to go as everyone knows orcs are just useless cannibalistic sadistic fiends with no culture or individuality



Eat your bone too or Drizzzt will come and murder everyone you know

Next: how all dwarfs are really bearded women
and how only 1% of elves reach puberty ever

Friday, 24 July 2020

Protohumanoids


























Have finished a 12 page post apoc adventure on Patreon. Mostly writing my 80page homebrew rules at the moment and playing cave dnd now. Mostly thinking post apoc and will be doing some more this format  a5 zine format.
---------------------------------

This List is for Abhumans who have no beast or elemental blood but more than human. If you take out the beast from a beastfolk what do you have left? Evil wizards wanted to know and some of these happened. Others happened to isolated peoples under the influence of magic. On Xor or in the past may have existed and could be recreated again. All humans are larger than common men 7 foot they see in the dark well and can leap. Others have other abilities as they go up a level. Some may become wizards or priests later. Pliny the elder responsible for a few. I did this as an example of using my human bx class for reskinning and subtypes. Also because I want to use this in my stone age sorcery game (still my only game running due to shut-in). It's partly a look at alternate ideas for main peoples in a campaign.

At least one bunch of humans has decreed all these abhumans are grotesque abominations made only to hold space before proper humans arrive. Some call them protohumanoids. I like the term Plinian races for some.

d20 Post Classical Abhumans
Cyclops folk - one eyes hairy humanoids vary in technology, kin of giants or orcs?
2 WIld folk - orange haired forest people kin to orungytangs
Yeti folk - white-furred ape folk also known as white apes
Cave folk - thick set shorter stronger humanoids dwell in caves 
5 Headless folk - acephali or blemmyesheadless folk with fave in chest
Monopod folk - huge single leg and foot, can use as shade laying on back   
8 Horned folk - race of wild men with horns, accepted in past now shunned
9 Hairy folk - wild hairy folk of wilds sometimes alone or families 
10 Androgini folk -  have functional characteristics of males and females 
11 Mouthless folk - hairy all over, fed from the smell and shun terrible odours
12 Dog Head folk- Cynophail dog headed folk gain d6 1 range firebreath at 6th lv 
13 Bicephili -2 headed folk heads may have different sexual orientation or features
14 Monkey folk - hairy arboreal monkey folk with tails, baboons are common
15
 Ape folk - more upright chimp or gorilla kin ape folk
16
 Lemur folk  - come in many varieties with a strange gait and jumping motion
17 Birdfoot folk - have scaly ostrich-like folk

18 
Fish folk - Icthiophagi are fish hybrid abhumans often hostile to humans
19 Faun - goat legs from waste down, with small horns, well liked  by old religion
20 Centaur
 - horse from waist down and human waiste up

These will be on an abhuman list one day
Barbarians
Orc
Amazons

Researching the Pliny Elders "Monstrous Races"
Europeans believed in them for thousands of years on or beyond the frontier...
Monsters as boundary-defying beings define normalcy
monsters as portrayals of disabled, gender different or foreign
monsters in natural history as gross distortions of natural history

and you thought orcs were a mess read all this
https://blogs.stockton.edu/artofideology/2018/01/22/on-the-plinian-races-and-the-monsters-of-the-natural-history/
https://www.messynessychic.com/2019/03/28/the-unexpected-relevance-of-medieval-monsters/
https://publishing.cdlib.org/ucpressebooks/view?docId=ft338nb20q&doc.view=content&chunk.id=d0e517&toc.depth=1&anchor.id=0&brand=eschol

Wednesday, 22 July 2020

New progress in alignment hatred



So playing with alignment perks again and decided on this terrible structure.
So you could be balanced neutral and hate all the main alignments!
The big 4 alignments don't really care about Neutral or Balance.

Possibly this does it better to show who hates who for spell effects and general stuff.


And all this from my table i did prior where you put scores in one alignment from Left and one from Right or none as you climb level to become bigger jerks just like the gods. Most recently thinking of a magic resistance ability where you can pit your alignment score vs enemies spells. So My lawful good priest 10th lv has +5 in Law and +5 in Good so if fighting evil or chaotics get 5% resistance or if meet a chaotic evil dude they get 10 total%. So most people in my setting dont have alignments or shun it even. My balance +5 neutral +5 druid Lv 10 gets 5% vs Law or Chaos or Good or Evil and 10% vs any of those alignments in a pair like LG LE CG CE. And planar beings just give you stuff for only a few life changing oaths and dedication to eternal cosmic war between inhuman beings.  

I have considered in my setting the numbers of alignment and who fights who has changed and expanded since early times. 

Some prefer the Elemental Heresy.

Basically, you take all the above stuff and kick most to the curb. Some mix both offending everybody and some attach neutrality or the balance to elements and forsake demons and outerplanar beings and influence. As alien as true elements are they are the basis of most matter and energy in the multiverse. Other elements are at best when shaped by your element. Elementals are better than demons and angels and don't boss you around so much most being mindless or busy. So rival elements that resist must die, but may accept thralldom of inferior elements.

Only elements matter. Sure the lords of the elements never visited earth and have no idea but some say they know best and it is used by some to fight or form allegiances.

Then there are guys who believe in 3 elements (fire isn't a thing!)
Or five elements with darkness/void/spirit/wood being common substitutes.

Elemental planes are still into putting your element first and find visiting humans not being of one element confusing.

Oh and elemental templars battled the dragon templars and the death templars long ago as rivals to post cataclysm world after the elder monsters fell. Maybe alignment was progress.


So you can see the appeal of elementalism. Fire good, rest slaves or fuel.

Wednesday, 15 July 2020

War Against The Dark Lord 3: Gossip & Treasure
























The Dark Lord what a jerk. All that propaganda and teaming up with the biggest a-holes in the multiverse and outside of it makes him even more appealing. Unlike other wars, the dark lord knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men and so he has evil bards to slander and lie and misinform rulers. Also, treasure if you can call it that is frequently cursed and mostly benefits evil people. So if you sell cursed stuff only evil people buy it so mostly it is illegal and most people break it or throw in a volcano or wave it in front of an angry dragon. It would be disappointing to hear about the dark one tracking heroes but not you.

This isn't for authentic middle earth. Its kind of a parody or a way to give your world some dark look shenanigans for a while. It doesn't have to last. There will always be yet another dark lord rising.

d20 New Laws in Face of Evil
- You heard the new crier it's the Law!
-Hang on we are the goodies right?
-Another psyop from the dark lord dream scheme team?

1 Any spies serving the enemy even unknowingly will be executed without trial
2 Anyone with orc, koblin, kobold or ogre slave is to hand them over to the military
3 Anyone knowingly selling cursed devices of evil shall be burned alive as a witch
4 All tainted with illness or mutations is to report to civic authorities
5 None on common land must wear a hood or robes fully covering the body unless part of recognised religious devotions. Any such garbed persons meeting in secret by night are henceforth witches
6 Any villain giving false counsel to their lord's enquiries in this time will be given 100 lashes
7 Anyone about their business who sees any orcs or goblins must report them to the authorities or be blinded and tongue cut out
8 All fit and able-bodied boys and men of 14 or older are to report to local headman and lord for military service, those caught evading service will be flogged and sent to the frontline with penal troops. Those claiming illness will be taken to a healer to be made fit for service
9 A new poll tax of +10% on all goods, new road and bridge tolls and town entry fees,
10 Local authorities will be stockpiling food and weapons in secure locations, ask you local village head man or woman where you will need to flee and what to take in a mass retreat
11 All spellcasters are to report to a local church authority or lords wizard to be briefed on the upcoming crisis and their new role with the crown
12 Those caught hoarding or profiteering off the war shortages, are enemies of the people and will be placed in stocks or pillory for a week
13 For their protection and the common good all halflings are to report to the civic officials where they will be transported to a place saftey
14 Curfew nobody out after 6pm until further notice
15 Flying undead minions of the dark lord have been seen, lights out after dark until further notice for public saftey
16 All newcomers are to report to civic officials for registration and to record their activities 
17 Church officials will be conducting random strip searches looking for evil signs, witch marks or cult tattoos. Only those guilty of espionage or witchcraft need fear
18 All bards are to report to civic officials and must obtain a permit to perform. Suspicious bards sewing dispair will be tarred and feathered those spreading dark lord propaganda will be burned
19 Looters or food thieves will be getting their hands cut off as a warning for the first offence
20 For the duration of the emergency in these troubled times, women may be put to work in jobs normally only allowed for men and may wear trousers. Wives must manage affairs of households and industry until the war effort is over

d100 Gossip
01 The dark lord was wronged long ago and the gods cheated him, he just wants us to be free
02 The dark lord feeds all those who join them and pays in golden treasure and magic gifts
03 The dark lord just wants to smash all hierarchies so people can be free of gods and kings
04 The dark lord gets a bad reputation, it is all lies spread by those against his rightful rule
05 The dark lord is reborn again and again and will conquer all or destroy it all if he cannot
06 The dark lord is just a title despots give themself to recruit idiots to their cause
07 Past dark lords were independently drawing on old relics and legends to claim the name
08 All dark lords were guided by fate by a single malicious spirit that survived from long ago
09 Many have called themselves the dark lord and all failed and underestimated good
10 The first dark lord was cast down by the gods but drew power from the void beyond 
11 I heard the king will just barricade towns and cities and leave the countryside to orc
12 I heard goblins are swarming again, I guess the lords will drive them off then tax us more
13 I heard the goblins were promised their old lands back on the frontier by the evil one
14 I heard the dark lord has spies and magic scrying pools alert to any against him
15 I heard the dark lord is hunting adventurers in the area just to avoid problems later
16 I heard the army is on the verge of collapse with owed wages, old weapons and the clap 
17 I heard the dark lord just wants all the demihuman scum dead then will leave us alone
18 I heard the dark lord has tainted the coin of the realm to inspire madness and greed
19 I heard not all orcs like the dark lord. Many hate him for his hopeless aeons of failure
20 I heard there are old dungeon ruins in the hill we could move into and wait this out 
21  Monsters are on the march, I'm packing my things and fleeing to a castle in the morning
22 The dark lord often preys on weak or mad rulers, perhaps he already has the king in thrall
23 The nobility have already fled by sea taken the dark lords bribes
24 If we kill the leaders and present their heads, our new master will look kindly on us
25 We should probably dust off the militia armoury and post some guards maybe
26 I have never heard so many wolves in my life howling at night
27 I saw a huge swarm of bats that lasted hours and some were gigantic
28 I saw a goblin on a wolf and I hid till it left, I was so lucky I was upwind
29 I've seen these big thorn bushes sprouting up, big things like hedges
30 I saw mushrooms bigger than my head, but they were the poison kind only goblins eat
31 The dark riders of the evil one are hunting key people the dark lord knows are a threat
32 The agents of the dark lord seek certain relics and old artefacts and weapons
33 Hey has anyone seen any writing in rocks around here? Just asking for a wizard friend
34 I heard some adventurers came by with some gems the other day, anyone know them?
35 I found a dead halfling in the river poor thing, look like had been through hell
36 I heard the fishers quit cos of all the body parts found in the river and feeding the fishes
37 Some local mines had to close because of goblins, looks a pretty bad infestation
38 Ive been hearing goblin drums at night wonder what that means
39 If you are hit by poison orc or goblinoid arrows just get away and try to treat your wounds before the venom kills you, cleaning the wounds quickly can help
40 If you find orc blades they look crude but are very practical and worth a try
41 Some of the evil leaders have magic weapons you can turn against the dark lord
42 The dark lord leaves cursed weapons around to cause trouble and spread evil
43 The magic weapons of the evil one's captains are cursed and best destroyed
44 In these troubled times make sure a priest buries the dead properly or burn them
45 I heard cackling goblin witches riding bats around my house last night
46 A goblin took a dump down my chimney fouling our gruel pot and scared the children
47 My kids say a bugbear whispers to them through the window at night how adorable
48 My children had to hide from goblins the other day playing near the creek
49 All my goats disappeared. Don't know if they knew something or got stolen
50 I've seen distant smoke a bit lately, wondering what all the fuss was
51 The age of humans is over, this is the age of the orc!
52 Even though those frontier barbarians and amazons hate us some have come to fight orcs
53 Why don't the gods just stop the dark lord forever? They really do nothing, don't they?
54 I found this cool orc dagger! Pretty nasty looking eh!, Don't touch or I willl shank you!
55 Better look out, all sorts of men of fighting age have being pressganged into the army
56 Lots of men have been volunteering to fight including lots of women in disguise
57 I'm sending my children away, this nice merchant has offered to take them to a relative in the city for only a few pennies
58 I've stuck a broke farmer but the dark lord will let me take what I want when I want
59 The lords oppressing us for years, was it the dark lord or were they bad on their own?
60 I'm sure some divine miracle will save us we must pray away the dark lord
61 I heard an amazon say every dark lord wipes out so many men that women end up being in charge more often after even though the dark lord hates women
62 Plague has broken out recently nearby, watch strangers and travellers for the pox!
63 If you kill any orc they come back as zombies that never die, we have no hope
64 These bigger barbarian orcs seem mostly after the dark lord's wizards for some reason
65 In the early frontier days people enslaved and hoped out goblinoids and orcs, and people wonder what the monsters beef with us is like we didn't get rich off their dead
66 We raid their dungeons and caverns and villages they raid our farms and roads and towns
67 All kinds of monsters were less horrible before the dark lord was around
68 All the gods and powers lording over humans and twisting us with hatred and impossible standards, one day we will kill them all
69 The good gods love the dark lord, he proves why we need to worship or perish
70 The dark lord in the past depended on artefacts, destroy the key ones and we break him again
71 Even when we drive the dark one back we have to finish him and destroy his form and try to stop his essence escape again to be reborn
72 Wouldnt the real dark lord not admit it and accuse someone else of being him?
73 The lords of hell don't really support the dark lord, he does things to souls they don't like
74 The dark lord was long ago imprisoned in hell if only he could be again
75 You know I've never seen a woman orc work for the dark lord, wonder why?
76 The new dark lord has wizards that make orcs from alchemy and vile muck in great pits, the new orcs all men are armed and trained by brutal veterans to kill and fight in a few weeks
77 Lots of barbarian orcs don't like the dark lords or his wizards and how they "make orcs" and brainwash their creations into slavery under a proven failure
78 When I was lost underground in caves for a few years I met orcs that were as human as anyone
79 The dark lord is anti-life, he hates natural procreation and anything that lives without his consent
80 In the coming age of blood and fire best get on board with the dark lord who will control demons and undeath against his enemies
81 We caught a wizard poking around the graveyard last night, got him while trying some spell
82 Someone tampered with the sanctified area of the graveyard with unholy water and faeces. Hope we can get a priest in before zombies eat us
83 Someone painted bloody symbols of evil on the church door last night and naked people were seen running around the place then into the woods, bloody witches
84 The blacksmith just got some of those black metal weapons the orcs use in the shop
85 Orc goods work fine and put up with punishment but they sure are ugly and sometimes have rough edges. But worse of all its cheaper than anything I can buy locally, they would ruin us in a trade war
86 Orcs mostly fight and goblins act as, mostly skirmishers, archers or labourers. Goblin farmers grow fungus and have many useful domestic animals
87 Orcs don't like hobgoblins or bugbears around much and keep their goblins from changing into them by preventing goblin cannibalism that triggers these changes in times of war
88 I heard there is an orc legion in service to the lords of hell fighting the dark lord
89 The dark lord bound many demons to his will and chose them as the most vicious and willing to turn on each other, hell was to organised and united to let this happen to devils
90 The dark lord seriously cuts into hell buying and selling souls which they dislike 
91 I knew a guy who was a dark lord cultist and gee was he a stupid selfish maniac bastard. Who would join a club like that? Glad I told the inquisition 
92 Lots of those dark lord orcs made by wizards have never even seen a woman, confuses hell outa them. The dark lord didn't tell them any facts of life so old orc mercenaries teach em everything which is probably crap poor bastards
93 Goblins are not so bad in their own lands but they often end up bullied and enslaved by elves and orcs. The more hobgoblins and bugbears the more free the goblins are from other races and in conflict with them. But hobgoblins and bugbears often take over or replace goblins and predate on weaker kin. So they trade one master for another quite often
94 Over the ages, each dark lord has been weaker but the world gets more broken and some things are lost to us forever destroyed by the evil fury
95 There are plenty of other ancient evils and wicked gods out there who are far more subtle and don't die again and again and don't risk losing
96 Werewolves are around again, spread by the dark lord amongst us, look out you might know one
97 Has anyone seen any halflings lately, one borrowed my bucket and I was hoping on finding them again, there is a beer in it for you
98 The dark lord is just a shadow of a servant of one of the old gods living beyond his intended purpose by black elder magic he was never meant to wield 
99 Once incarnated in a new host body the evil one begins to diminish in power. He resists fighting directly using greater fire demons and elementals and dragon
100 The dark lord allied to the tainted bloodline of dragons long ago and most dragons hate him and sometimes they destroyed past dark lords. Shame you don't see dragons no more

d100 Treasure
01 Manbane poison, coats one melee weapon or ten arrows for the first hit, hour later victim saves or takes a d3 poison from septic wounds per wound. Made by goblins 25gp dose 
02 Goblinbread a type of tasty spongy fungus used as rations and keeps fresh or can be dried 1sp a day
03 Berseker potion starts a d4 rounds after drinking lasts one turn, addictive 25gp 
04 Wellbane, pollutes a well with a dose,
 lasts d4 days if water source replenished, drinkers save vs poison+2 or d4 days diarrhoea and vomiting and dose a d3 HP per day 25gp
05 Siege mine 8d6 (-1d6 per yard from centre, save halves) to breach wall or gate by berserk suicide bomber 30lb 300gp
06 Orcsalve heals 1HP but stings enough to make children cry for hours, comes in a wooden box with d6 doses 30gp
07 Firecrackers make lots of noise come in strings 
of 25 and goblins love them for 12gp
08 Blackbriar seed, grows a thick 3m tall and wide bush over a d4 days, experts groom them as they grow to shape into fortifications for 25gp
09 Horsebane seed, planted by goblins to kill horses painfully over a d3 days if they fail a save, a handful of seeds can plant 2d3 patches, 5gp but most people destroy it
10 Catnip is loved by every pussy in the land but also bugbears and it makes them, mellow playful and then sleepy. An ounce of catnip is only one sp
11 Goblin dagger, curved black iron foot long blade +1 on hands of chaotic evil user 250gp
12 Goblin small sword, curved black iron two foot long +1 on hands of chaotic evil user 350gp
13 Goblin shaman sickle all plants and mushrooms cut remain fresh a week 1000gp
14 Goblin Arrows, dozen in a bundle all treated with Manbane (see 01) 25gp
15 Goblin Shortbow +1 on hands of chaotic evil user 600gp
16 Spore grenade 2d4 over 1 area save or choke a rounds 40gp
17 Potted alarm fungus, screams if disturbed by noise or movement for d4 rounds 40gp
18 Goblin lords helmet, a finer than most silver inlay 
with boars tusks small pot helm for small races or a child, +1 Protection and improves reaction with wild boar or pigs by +2
19 Great Goblin Clever, 2d4 damage, hacks off a random limb on a natural 20 roll and causes  1HP per round blood loss until dead or treated, bugbears love these 
20  Goblin spider web net, can only be thrown once over 1 area and all within make a STR save to resist or trapped for a turn or freed with a blade or burned off causing 2d4 fire damage to all trapped 40gp
21 Bats in a box, 3d4 messenger bats in a box can be trained to home in a new location or fly to the dark lord command post, a d4 scrolls are usually with it 40gp
22 Bat swarm in a box, a 1 yard square wood crate containing a swarm of blood thirsty vampire bats who attack anyone in area when released, good for traps or dropping on victims 90gp
23 Giant bat and riding harness, AC+3 HD 2 D6 bite Mov 3 or 18 flying for a small humanoid 150gp
24 Wolf puppy, only a month old with 
1HP and misses mum 12gp
25 Warg wolf puppy, already has a d4 HP 150gp
26 Goblin hound, AC+3 HD 1 d4 bite Mov 15 has night vision and eats bugs and slugs
27 Baby giant spider in a cage, will grow bigger and it is already starting to talk 60gp
28 Orc horses are fierce war horses bred with orcish blood and cruelty, fearless but hard to control and it will eat meat and drink blood if it can or really wants any. Ugly as sin and mange covered AC+5 HD3 Bite & Hoofx2 d6 each 90gp
29 Zombie pony, not very fast, smelly and revolting but obey instructions without fear just half speed. Stats as a zombie just a quadruped and it tramples for a d8 120gp
30 Bone golem horse, used as mounts for heroes of necromancy and undead, AC+5 HD 6 Hoofx2 2d6 obeys first intelligent non-living evil one to mount it once old master killed 4000gp
31 Orc dagger, iron black bladed, serrated and saw-toothed wickedly, over a foot long, +1 +2 vs elves, if wielder not evil save or turn evil once blood spilt 300gp
32 Orc black scimitar, iron curved sword, with vile runes, three foot long +1 +2 vs humans, the wielder becomes paranoid when humans near with a failed saving throw 600gp
33 Orc iron blade, a straight sword over three foot, brittle and shatter on a natural 1 vs metal armour, +1 vs elves, faerie brings or demons 200gp
34 Orc Morningstar as mace but 2d4 +1 vs elves, faerie brings or demons, more durable from the dark lords iron orc blades 300gp
35 Orc black spear, with a black iron head and corrupted wood from an evil tree, d8 +1 vs elves, all wounded by it save vs poison and take a d3 one hour later. Wielder of these die much younger 600gp 
36 Orc Lord Blade, ingenious hight quality and brutal design, praise to the orc gods in old orc runes, grey steel d8+1 all with simple mean names like 
gutbiter, foesplitter, orphankiller  1200gp 
37 Orc Lord Spear, grey steel on a ash haft, dedicated to the orc lord, +1 plus when an elf withing 1 range head ignites with screaming hatred and does a extra d3 fire damage as long as a living elf is near. Only Lawful Evil can weild it or the touch burns for a d3. Some orcs kept a live elf on a chain to keep the spear angry 3000gp
38 Bow of the Orc Lord, a great twisted composite bow that can three times a day turn an arrow to a 2d6 magic flaming arrows 1200gp
39 Mace of the orc lord, a great flanged mace +1 +2 vs elves and demons, on a natural 20 a struck living victim must save or is blinded for a d4 rounds their eyes shrouded in magic darkness, only a lawful evil user gets the benefit of the blindness power dedicated to a orc night goddess 1600gp
40 Shield of the Orc Lord, +2AC and provides +1 to all saving throws, runes evoke a treasure hoarding burrowing orc ancestral demon, 2000gp
41 Silver Star Ring, given to elves as a trick long ago, can cast cure light wounds and light once a day, each use the wielder save or a wizard of the dark lord will begin spythem and inform local minions of the dark lord where the ring is 3000gp (1000gp if dark lord active and curse known)
42 Bronze Heart Ring, 
given to dwarves as a trick long ago, three times a day for ten minutes the ring can detect gold of over 100gp value withing 3 range or only 1 through rock. If over a 1000gp is detected the dark lords wizard minions know where the gold is too now and the wielder must save or develop a mad craving for the gold 2000gp (1000gp if dark lord active and curse known) 
43 The Golden Crown Ring, given to human nobles long ago to curse their lines and a few turn up occasionally and none know the true purpose. The wielder gains +1 CHA while wearing it but if left on the finger of a deadman they arise as a wight and seek to murder their families for the dark lord. 3000gp (1000gp if dark lord active and curse known) 
44 The White Gold Ring, was made to tempt wizards to the dark lord, it can store one 1st level spell and acts as a ring of protection +1, but at the next full moon, the wielder must save or is cursed to turn evil. Each month they get a new save
45 The Red Gold Ring, was given to border lords to ruin frontier defences. The wielder has +1 damage on all melee attacks on foes that bleed. But at the next solstice
, the wielder must save or is cursed to turn evil. Each quarter solstice they get a new save 2500gp (1000gp if someone knows about curse)
46 Cloak of the Wolf, with this pelt made from a dead werewolf in golf from the curse, can be given to a new victim. The cloak and cowl look mighty but anyone claiming it must save at the next full moon vs curse or they will put it on and become a lycanthrope. When a werewolf dies his brothers make a cloak and dark priests curse it and the items sold or left out for unwary to find 200gp (1500gp to a maniac who wants to be a werewolf)
47 Wyvern Rod, iron sceptre with a wyvern design coiled around and a green or violet crystal on top, the wielder can speak to wyverns in their tongue and has 2d6 charges of a charm wyvern ability for a day. Any wyvern once affected is immune the same charm effect rod
 which can get a tamer in trouble if they don't earn the beasts trust in a day 15000gp
48 Violet Wand holds 3d10 magic missiles but if a non-evil person fires at an evil person the missiles strike the wielder instead. When charges expire crystal cracks and a wizards soul escapes 1500gp (1000gp if properties understood)
49 Viridian Staff holds 2d10 charges one charge can cast burning hands and two charges can cast fireball. When the staff expires the gem cracks and a wraith escapes to attack the wielder and the dark lord gets a glimpse of them, If the staff is deliberately broken the wraith is free also 6000gp (or 3000gp if properties realised) 
50 Iron Crown worn by ancient rulers of men who served past dark lords. The wearer gets +1 INT and can cast comprehend languages three times a day. Anyone reading forbidden lore even mentioning the dark lord attract his gaze and he will arrange for them to find more corrupting lore at least once a month requiring a save to resist reading and turning evil 3000gp to most (1000gp if curse known)
51 Manpiercer is a great juggernaut with a magical balistia able to fire a 4d6 bolt +12 to hit every three rounds 20/40/60. The Juggernaut is AC +5 HD 10 and can also run over enemies for 2d10 damage with wooden roller wheels. The machine is filled with the spirit of malice and acts as a shrine to darkness used by evil priests. Anyone selling one who claims they can be controlled is a liar. When the dark lord slumbers they gather dust in hiding. 10000gp would be fair if it was under control, and they are smart enough to lie
52 Doomhammer a great juggernaut battering ram worshipped by orcs as a petty god with its own priesthood. The great engine is fueled with blood and it has been abandoned but not destroyed. Most gates cannot hold against the machine beasts great iron beak. The Juggernaut is AC +10 HD 30 and tramples victims with its rollers for 3d10 but moves only 3. 10000gp was promised to any who could rid the world of it by a past king (I'm sure the heirs will honour this happily)
53 Battle cart is a small wagon with six black powder barrels all fired at once on a 30-degree arc, good for mass combat and defence or could be wheeled into a dungeon. AC+5 HD 6 Mov 6 with men pulling or 12 with ponies or oxen. Within 30 yards everyone takes 3d6 damage save for half, 31-60 yards everyone takes 3d6 damage save for half and 61-100 save or take a d6. The device usually has a 4-6 man crew and takes 15 minutes for four loaders to ready for a shot.  6000gp with 120gp per volley of shot and powder
54 War mine a black spiked metal sphere used to destroy fortifications or natural features. A suicidal operator lights the short fuse and is killed in use. 8d6 reducing 1 dice per yard save for half. 1200gp operator not included  
55 Iron Hand grenade 2d4 
+1 damage vs elves or demons over 1 area save for half, throw after lighting the fuse and run, on a roll of one to hit explodes in the user's hand 100gp
56 Great Gun of Spite, a swivel-mounted gun attached to a waggon or settlement or ship or wall, fires a 3d6 ball once every 10 minutes with a crew of 2 to fire or move it, 10/20/30 range. Goblins like them but need double the crew and blow up on a 1 to hit roll. Good orc crews don't fumble and fire twice as often 2000gp for the gun 10gp a shot, 
57 Brass Beast Cannon, an ancient weapon shaped like a great bellowing beast, requires 6 oxen to pull it and a crew of 12 to operate. Once per hour the great gun fires a 10d6 cannonball mostly at walls rather than troops 20/40/60 range. It can only fire 12 shots a day or risks exploding. 20,000gp 200gp a shot 
58 War mortar, these crude indirect fire artillery pieces that a spotter can see incoming and a save can avoid the 6d6 damage with poor accuracy over half a mile, each require a wagon to move and another for stone balls fired and a care 6 to operate and 6 more to help move and act as spotters. More effective for buildings, than living targets, orcs working on explosive and gas shells bur maybe next dark lord. For now most crews poorly trained (-4 to hit usually), slow (fire ones per 10 minutes) and have fatal accidents on a roll of 1 to hit. 4000gp for weapon and 50gp a shot not including transport wagons or crew
59 Thunder shouter iron cannon, a older crude siege cannon requiring a waggon to move and a team of six to operate. It does 4d6 damage 10/20/30 once per hour and explodes on a roll of 1 to hit. Once assembles of the wagon aiming and adjusting it is very awkward so mostly iyt is used on gates and walls not live foes. 3000gp for weapon and 50gp a shot
60 Trebuchet the ultimate long range war weapon, often built on site by siege engineers it can hurl an ox or a half ton of rubble damaging walls and harming panicked victims, Burning missiles or plague corpses are alternate ammo. a 40 tonne wooden monstrosity requiring a crew of 70 to move it or half that to fire. 10/20/300 range 10d6 damage indirect fire every 20 minutes. 1500gp and half the crew gather missiles. Smaller ones are more common with range 30/60/100 4d6 damage only and a crew of 10 firings once every 10 minutes for 600gp
61 Necromancers sacrificial dagger +1, a victim murdered in a ritual has soul taken by the dark lord, immediately after the necromancers, next undead making or summoning spell calls undead with a minimum of 5HP per HD 1000gp 2000gp to necromancer
62 Necromancers wand each use in a un sanctified burial place revives a skeleton warrior that will serve the maker as long as they serve the dark lord. Otherwise the skeleton attacks. d100 charges  1500gp +10gp per charge
63 Necromancers rod each use in a un sanctified burial place revives a zombie warrior that will serve the maker as long as they serve the dark lord. Otherwise the zombie attacks. d100 charges  2000gp +20gp per charge
64 Necromancers ebon ring from serpent folk in the ancient times before humans, the ring can conjure a dozen 1HD spectral minion once a week for one hour that obey your mental commands. The ring bearer the night after saves and if they fail they are contacted by the elder wizard got Tsath-Thogg-Ark who will visit the user in their dreams. The demon is a second save is failed inflicts a greater curse turning the dreamer turning them Lawful Evil alignment 4000gp 10000gp to a serpent folk wizard or cult
65 The Book of Damned Souls, a primer for necromancers with a spell collection of a 5th level wizards that can be decoded from the poison pages. Every night read save or lose a Point od CON for a month. Full of theory and notes on friendly demons and dragon allies to the necromancer cause in the days of ancient Exilon. The dark lord has been printing copies and helping a ncromantic college thrive under his tutorledge 2000gp but banned by church
66 Necromancers orb used to communicate with a network of evil wizards that were gifts from the dark lord who spies on them all. If touched the dark lord sees you but mostly he won't care. With a turn handling the orb they may message other wizards through their orbs to see who is in. A normal person touching it sees hypnotic lights and if they fail a save stare at the ball for a d6 hours when they get s second save or are cursed with becoming chaotic evil 10000gp to any necromancer or undeath cult and quite a lot of evil customers want it. If the crystal is shattered it releases a hungry wraith bound inside by the dark lord and linked to his will
67 Necromancers staff, made from undead treeant wood with iron strips which meet at the top and hold a violet or green crystal. The staff is +2 and an evil user has protection from good 3 times/day. Once a day it can raise a dozen zombies from available corpses without proper burial by sacrificing a 1HD animal or person. Any touch necromatic spell can be channelled through the staff and added to damage from a successful hit. 3000gp to most people, 4500 to evil people
68 Death Knight Blade, wielded by greatest warrior undead heroes of evil, these +3+6 vs good blades have the following powers: darkness 3 times/day, call lightning once per day, invisible to undead at will, charm undead once per day, ice storm once per week. Each has a name like Soulcutter, Woundmaker, Heartpiercer, Braindasher, Foemaimer. Each belongs to a great deathknight hero who have habit or returning and always know where their blades are. The weapon works for anyone but if a good person draws blood they must save or they are become violent berserker who never let sword leave them and grow to delight in killing with the sword. For an evil user the blade LE spirit advises the user and is in fact a bound devil who escapes if the sword is broken by dragon fire or wizards ray, the demon is free. 10000gp but most sane people would avoid it if they knew what it was, a timebomb
69 Black Iron Crown of The Lich King, allows the wearer to mindlink and see through the eyes of any undead they create while wearing the crown. Enables them to give instructions by remote to minions. For living users it is addictive and the wearer must save each hour of use or suffer the curse of necromancers, obsession with death, immortality and repulsion from life a cancerous weakness. 10000gp to any necromancer or undeath cult and quite a lot of evil customers want it unfortunately and dragonfire is said to destroy it
70 Lich Kings Mace, more like a +4 two-handed d10 maul for a human, +d4 damage on good-aligned victims, on a natural 20 to hit a pulse of ebon energy arcs strike all living in 1 range radius. All victims save or be stunned, under 1HD beings die of shock. Any good person holding takes a d4 damage a round from ebon sparks. Any evil person holding it must save or will devote their life to lichdom as a priest tor wizard and they will kill anyone in their way 10000gp to any necromancer or undeath cult and quite a lot of evil customers want it unfortunately and sending it back to the underworld almost succeeded once
71 Iron ring of the master, +1 ring of protection that drains 1HP each time that single plus makes a difference in success. Older dark lords could reach the minds of luitenants through these but his essence is too diminished to do anymore than sense them in 100 miles now 1500gp to evil or those who don't see problems or 800gp to those who know the risks
72 Dark crystal of the Master, a fragment of a past incarnation of the evil one now a jagged black-violet stone on a black steel chain. The gen can be used to commune with the master once a day at night for ten minutes but you better have something. The master can cast one 1-3rd level spell through the wielder during the communion session. Anyone wearing the gem becomes tainted and gets a save per day or is cursed with becoming evil
73 Curse Arrow of the Dark Lord, +2 arrow if hits victim saves or loses 1HP per ten minutes  for a d12 hours of fevers and halucinations of dark shadows grasping at the victims soul. The victim gets another save after death or becomes a wight. 400gp have a nasty reputation as cruel so assassins all want them. 
74 The Dark Lords Creed, a book of the past dark lords and powers useful to predict him, or find his relics or weaknesses. Sought by his many enemies 1in6 are actually cursed copies that anyone reading for 8 hours must save or is cursed to turn evil, seduced by the evil ones service 2000gp
75 Shadowlords Helmet, summons a d6 shadow mastifs by night once a week who will obey an evil person or just attack any living beings they can catch. One hero would call them shadow hounds then lead them on horseback towards enemies then flee. The wearer can see in nightlight and ignores magical darkness or silence. Silver engraved helm pointy full helm providing +1 protection. Many past wielders died using it a gift for enemies long ago 4000gp breaking it releases a d6 bound shadow masiffs
76 Nightblade, a former gift to mortals from the dark lord, fine silvered steel +2 +3 vs devils and lycanthropes. Drawing blood with the blade awakens a deceitful spirit and the wielder must save of come to love the blade as an extension of their own body. On death the wielder becomes a wight in the service of evil and the sword becomes unholy black metal +3 +d3 damage vs good beings and detects living within 3. The weapons fetch a good price of 4000gp on sight of basic properties but no decent person would knowingly own one
77 Dark Lords Mantle, a suit of evil black plate with a spiked crown, battered and etched in ancient orc runes. Seemingly just a +1 suit, when worn complete the wearer must save, on a success they can pull it off in time with a struggle, with a failure the victim is turned into an orc and cursed with evil alignment 1800gp but orc will pay a bit more
78 Flowers of Malor, jewelled hair piece of ancient elves, corrupted to trick and taint elves. Elves seeing it save or will kill anyone to obtain it for their own elf clan. They will take it home and present it to their leaders to spread the dark lords corruption. Anyone wearing it has +2 CHA and can cast charm person three times a day. 10000gp to elves 5000gp to others
79 Chest of Teeth, a stout chest with 75+d100 necklaces inside made from from teeth, many unidentifiable and some with runes or human hair woven cord. Each necklace seems of approximate same value and in the past many such chests have been found. Chests of ears or finger necklaces was found before. Wearing one gives wearer +1 CHA to evil beings and -1 to good beings. The dark lord gave these to barbarian warlords who divided them amongst their kin and aid in their corruption. The chests mysteriously vanish a few days after being emptied. Each necklace sells for 100gp or more
80 Sceptre of Wrath a +2 Mace that an evil user can cast hold person three time a day, used by evil wight priests who ride undead wyverns. Wielder saves or his whispers of the dark lord and when life near death the dark lord will reach out to them offering aid which includes severing the wielders relation to their god 4000gp
81 Halfling Marsh Weed, comes in pouches for 4+d8 days, induces mild euphoria making user quiet and happy and eat only half as much and march a full day 30gp with a clay pipe
82 Entwater, fluid collected in hollows inside of a treeant for months, drinking it ads +1 Con +1 Str and d3+1 inches. It also makes you +2 save vs any dark lord items or relics, only usable once per person, and needs to be consumed in a d6 months with treants in a ritual if they like you. How any got to market was probably by theft 3000gp potion
83 Elfblade, shortsword glows if orc or goblin within 3 range and +1 2000gp
84 Moon Arrows, +1 silver arrows +d4 vs undead and lycanthropes, made by the elves come in quiver with a dozen 1000gp
85 Light of Vulnavia, bottle of liquid light usable as hole water and protection from evil 1 radius as long as light can touch. Light overcomes all magical darkness in area and shadow or darkness beings or undead take a d3 per round in it's light. Crystal bottle may smash bathing all in 3 radius the effects of the light for a final round as the light is lost to the world forever. 3000gp
86 Iron talisman made from a nail, belt buckle or horseshoe provides protection from evil to the wearer for an hour a day when rubbed and worried. 1500gp
87 Mithril elvish chain, +3 and no encumbrance, 7000gp
88 Curse Eater Fetish, made by wild folk, the idol tricks a curse or evil relic to transferring the evil magic to the idol. Then the idol should be burned or buried or thrown in the sea tied to stones. Ugly wooden idols with hair and stone inserts 600gp
89 Circlet of Sirilon, simple white gold circlet gifted to humans that aided and served elves in ancient wars with the dark lord. Some have resurfaced.+2 protection and a good character can cast light three times/day and cure light woulds three times/day. Each full moon the wearer saves or becomes cursed with good alignment 6000gp  
90 Wolfbane, a silver +2 battleaxe, +4 vs werewolves and detects werewolves in even in human form within 1 range. No effect vs other lycanthropes. 3500gp
91 Starlight Medalion, belonged to a star in the dawn age and only usable by a lawful good being. An evil or chaos touching it takes a d4 per round. Under a full moon once a month you may commune with the star spirit. Each has a separate name written in the angelic LG language on their medalion. The wearer can cast Invisibility to undead three times/day, Create Food and water three times/day. 6000gp
92 Heartstone, shining jewel kept in a lead box that magically hides it from detection. It casts a light 3 radius when opened and all in sight are cursed if they fail a save to more obsessed with alignment and impossible standards of planar perfection. If they are nuetral or non aligned they can roll a random new alignment. The light dims after this effect, the lid closes and the box vanishes. This was created by the spirit of malice to create more conflict in the cosmos 2000gp to those who know what it is, usually some idiot opens it, becomes more fanatic and the stone and box move on
93 Angels Trumpet, a 2 metre long trumpet of brass with runes of law and good. When called it summons a minor fiery cherebim to smite all who are not living to the impossible standards of heaven.If LG you are spread, if evil you are slain, if any other alignment save to think pure thoughs or be destryed. The angel may scan those bowing with ESP for impure thoughts and the mortal may make a save to think pure enough. After it takes the trumpet, 3000gp evil people would destroy but it takes dragonfire
94 Harp of Calmoron, silver harp of the star spirits left on the world as the gift of music. Play the music the owner most desires which often depends on alignment. If Lawful Good or a bard you can cast Comprehend Languages 
three times/day. 10000gp but even divine beings want this thing that all beings find pleasurable 
95 Splinter of Woe, a broken adamantium spike that is shaped like a crude shortsword +4. The blade once tasted blood for the first time in a day screams for a round and animals or normal creatures under 1d8 HD save or flee for a d4 rounds. If it slays the material form of a outer planar being it cannot reform for 30 years 10000gp
96 Sickle of Chaos, adamantium sickle +2 or +4 if a mutant and chaotic. If the mutant wielder kills a mutant they may swap a mutation with the corpse if it fails a saving throw. Mutations must be of same type minor or major. A mutant hero can use this to purge weak mutations and get better ones. Non mutant wielders make a saving throw a month or get a minor mutation a month and if they get more than their level they morph into a mindless shoggoth 10000gp to a mutant ("haha will never happen" sez a merchant) or 2000gp to most people
97 Seed of Alloril, from the first oak tree blessed by old gods and faeries, if planted becomes a full grown oak tree overnight 60 foot tall. Each night a patch of younger 30 foot high trees will grow and over seven days becomes a circular forest a furlong wide (600 yards or metres). Faeiries used these to plant forests in the dawn age. Killing the first tree at any time stops the process. Animals and possibly faeries or a treant will occupy the woods. Druids will sanctify this wood promptly. 5000gp  
98 Stone Witchblade, +2 stone dagger, a splinter of stone broken from a holy place by a prehistoric witch and bathed in blood of a demon. If a 1HD talking being is sacrificed in a ten minute ritual a minor demon is summoned. The first demon is a quasit that offer to make a soul pact and if rejected seeks revenge. Later demons are more stupid more agressive types that the summoner must bargain with. The demons desire permission to be released into the world to do as they please after one service. The dark lord would have witches summon demons all day long 10000gp 
99 Stormkettle, a five gallon cauldron with a lid for cooking if a sheep wool, a bat and a newt are placed in and it is boiled on a fire in a 3 hour ritual the local sky spirit must save or unleash a dangerous storm till dawn. The knowledge of the kettle is a secret of witches and requires three to operate the procedure 5000gp
100 Bone Whistle, if blown near navigable water, at nightfall a ferryman in robes in a small one passenger skiff and offer a ride. Anyone placed in the skiff is feried away to another world as determined by the boatman, often fairyland or hell or whatever. The ferryman demands a coin and the whistle. 10000gp