Fantasy Conspiracies

Need some bull for crazy old men in taverns, village idiots, madmen or radicalized halfling terrorists? Or perhaps they are true? These are for when in town. Will do a dungeon one later. Spreading stories is mad or stupid or gossipy or evil slander for a purpose.
Evil bards-spread fake and fear news
-rally angry mobs
-make slanderous lampoon to ruin reputations of towns or people
-blackmail, cash or will lie about you or your lineage or alignment
-seduce and prey on young and innocent
-ruin lives, break up marriages, spread vice-support despots and usurpers and influence elections-spy for foreign kings and cults-encourage xenophobia and disunity-lure away youth somewhere if village wont pay bard away (thanx Gus L)

Mad Bards-Spread paranoid delusions
-Work up the mob to make more extreme violent or Dionysian
-Believe their own lies with sincerity
-start personality cults and bands
-spread vice and make it look cool
i should play an evil graffiti bard-tag cantrip
-wizard words spell 2nd lv, 10x small or one big word per level permanent
-wizard banner 3rd lv 10" banner or mural as if painted or glowing text various styles out there, some optical illusions and fake doors

more on evil bards later

d100 Fantasy Conspiracies

01 Goblins are babies kidnapped by elves
02 Dwarves are all male, they make babies with alchemy
03 Gnomes are elf-dwarf cross breeds
04 Bugbears love catnip, it makes them friendly
05 If you raise an orc properly they are just like people
06 Dwarves are all alcoholics, it is mothers milk to them
07 They look human but elf genitalia is monstrous and deadly
08 Halflings often die from flatulence from over eating
09 Halflings are really cannibals in secret
10 Dwarves eat gold, cut them open and they are full of coins
11 The royal family are reptilian hybrids up to no good
12 The true heir to the throne has been raised among the peasants 
13 Several nobles are really demon worshipers
14 The current heir is a faerie changeling
15 Doppelgangers have infiltrated the nobility
16 Witches have infiltrated the royal castle
17 The queen has a secret lover
18 A member of the noble house is a traitor to the nation
19 A vampire ancestor of the nobility hides in the royal castle
20 A noble woman likes to bathe in the blood of peasant girls
21 Demons are about to destroy the world because of mortal sinners
22 Wizards are plotting to destroy the world to become new gods
23 Monsters from below are planning to invade any night now 
24 The neighboring kingdom has spies among us for a coming invasion
25 The legions of hell are corrupting the nobility/church/youth/all of the above
26 The gods will bring the apocalypse soon
27 Witches are everywhere among us, call the witch hunter
28 The plague is coming! Head for the hills
29 A comet was seen in the sky, doom is coming soon
30 A great flood is coming, head for the hills or gt a boat!
31 If a dragon eats you you will be reborn as a dragon egg
32 Under the town is a secret mega dungeon, the commoners are in on it
33 All the job offers in town are a trick to murder and rob you
34 The local beer is poisoned by elves to put a glamour on us
35 All the gold is faerie gold, only use silver or lose everything
36 Someone in area is really a disguised monster 
37 Don"t trust local mercenaries, they are all mad berserks
38 The local wizard is in league with the local dungeon boss
39 A secret thieves guild is hidden in a ordinary shop
40 A secret local cult has infiltrated the administration of town
41 A god walks among us in secret
42 Petty god or spirit visited the area recently
43 The area is cursed by the gods, everyone is doomed
44 Some one has offended a god who will send punishment to us all
45 A monster has been sent to punish us all from the gods
46 The graveyard is tainted by evil now the gods no longer protect it
47 Many priests have no powers and are frauds and no authority
48 The gods are just elder giants, kin of the titans who survived the wars of the gods
49 Humans look more like the gods but are tiny and have the least magic
50 Now the old ways forgotten angry spirits and monsters will return to destroy and eat our souls
51 Some of the townsfolk are really undead
52 Lycanthropes are hidden among us 
53 Ordinary farm animals are monsters in disguise
54 Plants I tell you, from strange pods I've seen in the woods, replacing everybody
55 The local wizard and his apprentices constantly charm people
56 One of the local new religions is up to no good
57 The country folk around here are still secretly druids and witches 
58 Don't get arrested round here, nobody sees prisoners again
59 This area has the most kidnappings
60 Locals are secretly cannibals, don't eat meat here
61 All of the village babies look the same
62 Some of the villagers have been cavorting with supernatural beings
63 More of the parents have sold themselves to evil in secret, children all imps
64 Mutants are coming, look for their taint! One drop of blood will taint you with chaos!
65 The people of this area come from different stock and have many secret hidden ways
66 The people here look normal but don't be intimate with them, they are unnatural
67 Lynch mobs arise over anything these days, look out anything could set them off
68 Madness is rampant in the land, wild stories, incompetent leaders, decadence!
69 Many humans are now part orc and you need to watch out or soon everyone will be an orc, they are nasty sorts
70 The locals are touched by faeries who come at night to speak gold and leave fairy tainted food
71 Elves are inbreeding us out of existence in secret, we've got to fight back!
72 Orcs are made bad by wizards, if they were raised proper they would just be ugly
73 Gnomes are running the town, they are secretly trading influence and using illusionary magic
74 Dwarves burrow into the deep to avoid the apocalypses, but now times are good they are returning to the surface to take over
75 Halflings eat and share food forbidden to commoners, lord says food makes them fat and lazy and gruel does them good
76 Dwarves take currency into their deep holes never to be seen again which hurts the kingdoms finances
77 Magicians plan to replace the the common man with monsters and magic and machines
78 Elves are breeding a new race to replace humanity
79 Orcs are destined to replace us, they can interbreed with anything
80 Dwarves are sex mad because they have no women, look at all the short people round here
81 Its so easy to sell your soul to a devil for anything you need, even a commoners soul is worth something, imps tell you what to do occasionally for some unseen plot, no wonder everyone doing it
82 There are secret sex cults in the forest where humans mate with sylvan beings and take drugs, be wary of any sneaking around at night
83 A murder kidnapper cult int the area has been striking travellers don't go out in the dark
84 Thieves are everywhere taking over, a hidden gang war rages the streets unseen
85 The whole town is drug addicted alcoholics in secret and are awful to each other out of sight of strangers
86 Nobility randomly seize travelers and locals for some mysterious reason
87 Secret police are everywhere listening to the people, hang on a minute who are you?
88 There are only a few of those sort now but a great horde is coming of them to attack, why don't the law seize them for questioning
89 Crime is higher in areas with halflings, their lands are more productive, time they were driven off
90 Gambling is rife and the mob hold everyone in thrall through crippling debt
91 Wizards spy on us constantly, even read your mind, their is no privacy
92 A secret masked cult has taken control of everyone in power and serve a secret monster master
93 A secret connection to the non human elder races of the great under land is where our country affairs are really from
94 This isnt the first cycle of reality, all kinds of leftovers from the old ones are still around, soon this one will end
95 Xor the world eater is here to devour everything even the gods
96 We are just cattle to the gods and if we don't sacrifice to them we will be replaced, perhaps wizards can kill them all
97 Necromancers are going to make everything dead to live forever under their rule, it is inevitable the dead will out number us
98 Some new evil from outside of ours has entered bringing new menace and threaten our universe
99 The stars will soon be right! The old ones will awake, their cults work to make this sooner
100 Magical talking goats are taking over the farmyards, making animals intelligent and spreading forgotten beast cults, nobody knows their true purpose, i couldn't make any goats talk (promptly attacked by stray billy goat)

 If you die in a dungeon you come back as a monster type stuff on next indoor version.

This one is a bit broken

d10 Quick Types
01 Old race secrets
02 Royal scandals
03 The end is nigh
04 Crazy stuff
05 Wrath of the gods
06 Local Troubles
07 Secret shame
08 Xenophibic terrors
09 Unsafe in the streets
10 Cosmic calamities 

Merry Murder Hobo Month of May

After this video came out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=802&v=lMpVxtTWqbc
It talks about problems with murder hobos lika a pathology, the causes and solutions but assumes everyone is agreeing on what Murder Hobo means.

And earlier I found these definitions
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=murderhobo

1 murderhobo
The typical protagonist of a fantasy role-playing game, who is a homeless guy who goes around killing people and taking their stuff. The term originated in discussions of tabletop role-playing games by authors seeking to create games aimed at styles of play not supported by traditional games like Dungeons & Dragons.

Four murderhoboes burned down the peaceful orc village, killed every orc in it, and looted their corpses.

2 murderhobo
A derogatory term used to denigrate old school players of Dungeons & Dragons, and considered a gross insult among real old school players andDMs. Users of the term falsely claim that murderhobo was the style of playback in the day (1974-1978) and that is based on a false understanding of what old school play is. Bitd the way that the original old school Dungeons & Dragons was played was as a game of exploration, and good play meant that you a avoided combat when possible and gained treasure by other means. Aplayer in those days only went into combat when it could not be avoided and only killed when it was necessary. If the goal could be obtained through other types of interaction, that was the preferred day.

Zac S did this Vital Research on Murder Hobos

I just (coincidence?) researched the history of the term today:

Oct 2010
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-163486.html
First use of the term (not the earliest google hit but only bc some pages update retroactively)
Neutral

More early uses:
June 2011
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15156648/

Sept (9/11) 2011
https://forum.rpg.net/archive/index.php/t-584293.html

First use of it as semi undesirable:
someone says they don't mind it, just not in their Tolkien game:

Aug 11, 2011https://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?587797-Tolkien-Just-curious-Is-there-any-epic-Middle-Earth-adventure-campaigns-out-there

First definitely negative use is....RPGPundit? He objects to the idea that most D&D ends up as murderhoboism but doesn't appear to object to the idea Murderhobos are bad:
https://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?21176-quot-Murder-hobos-quot

11-02-2011 06:00 PM
Opinions on this vary in the thread
First usage afterward where the author assumes casually Murderhobo is a negative descriptor is someone on RPGnet talking about the Punisher:
https://forum.rpg.net/archive/index.php/t-601882.html
"I am super serious and tortured and, unlike all those pussies who call themselves superheroes, I get the job done and kill the bad guys who deserve it. And I'm a murderhobo living in the sewers, human relations are for the weak and untortured. Brooding. In the dark." The ridiculing helps to show how pathetic that character actually is. Heck half the Marvel characters have had more messed up lives…”

Early serious discussion of the term outside RPGsite on 4chan:
12/05/11(Mon)16:09 No.17115965
"Stop saying murderhobo"
"Nobody gives a fuck that you have to make people who play the game for different things look like they're doing it wrong""Murderhobo is a joke, the kind of stereotypical character a LOT of players make. You know. Munchkin'ized characters that have no living family,no relatives, no friends, no house, no connection"
"It's a character that lives for killing"

"Murderhobo
I've seen TONS of them"

"Yeah,I"m a Paladin-Inquisitor of Torm. My entire family got turned by Vampyres, and I had to kill them all MYSELF. I burned down the house, and left the kingdom in disgrace, forever branded to never exist. I have no home. No family.Nothing but revenge, and as Torm as my ally, I'll murder every undead that lives."

"Murderhobo"

"WHAT BACKGROUND?"

"ALL HIS FAMILY IS DEAD.
HIS FRIEND ARE DEAD.
HE KILLED THEM ALL HIMSELF.
HIS ORDER BANISHED HIM.
HE HAS NO CONNECTIONS TO ANYTHING.
He's so grimdark and metal that whenever he walked HOLY DIVER plays!"

"What can he roleplay besides murdering things?ANGST?"

12/05/11(Mon)16:26 No.17116119
"it doesn't help that the guys who make murderhobos are either:
a) newf*gs who don't know any better
b) emotionally unstable and looking for catharsis
c) emotionally unstable and looking for a power trip
d) angsty basement dwellers
or e) THAT GUY"

"Most of my groups murderhobos are either b, d, or e; with one of the two e-types, whom I like to call THIS GUY in person (he doesn't understand the reference at all), being my best friend who actively enjoys WoW despite having gone through everything. For comparison, I can't even enjoy playing unless I have a friend running alongside me (usually THIS GUY) the other e-type is a registered and self-described sociopath with enough personality that I don't really mind his excesses so long as I can manage to have some fun in his shadow"

12/05/11(Mon)16:30 No.17116153
"Holy fuck, dude. It's time you consider that you might have some big issues as well. If ALL your friends really do suck that bad, why do you hang out with them? Because you are so fucking co-dependent you can't stand the thought of being alone so it's these chucklefucks you cling to despite the fact they are chucklefucks? Or you're so fucking repulsive that you can't go out and get another set of friends?"

"But to be completely honest, a lot of my characters end up being murderhobos just to troll the people I game with. And I wonder why I haven't had a regular gaming group in over a year.”

"You know I actually played a murderhobo once.
He was a woodelf. He kept a rapier hidden in his giant hobo coat. He spoke a gypsy cryptelect. He also murdered people for food.
So, yknow there you go"

And On My G+ Thread
I got People to Suggest
Murder Hobo Maxims
Jack Derricourt, Joshua Blackketter, Anders "The Delver"Nordberg, Iacopo Maffi, Gieljan de Vries, Shoe Skogen, Matthew Adams, Kerstan Szczepanski, Sean McCoy, Aron Clark, Gus L, Rafa Ramos, Ivan Sorensen

On the frontier anyone sassing you could be a pretext to murdering you you so strike first!
Sillas Bunyon

Every foe needs their intestines checked for swallowed treasure. Squeeze and tug for treasure, beware parasites. A diamond with shit on it is still a diamond.
Pegleg Bill

Don't murder anyone you could sell as a slave.
Kate Bloodeagle

Every corpse could be good to sell for meat or render into tallow, or oil to burn down houses. Waste not want not.
Vinegar Tom

Every scrap of furniture, door, pot, utensil and filthy mattress has some value and not all treasure is gold.
Steven "Shanky" Bates

Spend every cent you have as quick as possible and stay in debt for tomorrow you die! Drugs and prostitutes are a sound investment and you can't take gold to hell.
Old "Scabby" Bill

Fair fights are for people whom the bards would remember in a hundred years.
Grosh "Firebomb" Krosh

Overwhelming eldritch might will solve many problems, but not all problems. Always travel with someone sneaky and someone large.
Pete Loudly

Never argue about the so called alignments when killing infants or helpless enemies, this will only give ideas to the Destiny Masters, kill and move one like its nothing.
Wats Itsfeis

Start stealing from each other only if you are ready to kill any other member of the party and retire from adventuring. You will find a quick path into retirement this way.
Jack "snore stabber" Willikins

Ignore what you are carrying, keep it in the back of your mind and lie if anyone that asks, up where you will need to swim, then you better prepare or will find yourself sinking.
M'cumb Rancesuk 

A strangled wizard can cast no sorcery, a tongueless wizard is a silent weakling.
Beni Profane

I'll fight whatever it is long enough to run proper, but I don't do doors. 
"Killer" Ponzi Hedwig

Smile, be polite, laugh, and tell jokes right up until the stabbing starts.
Murray the Murderer 

Someone who hires you for a dangerous mission is too weak to manage it themselves, too friendless to find someone tougher, has no interest in your well-being and likely has a full pouch, the situation can only be clarified with a swift shanking - the same goes for gods, wizards and ancient spirits.
Milicent "Cobweb"

Never trust the dead or anyone who agrees to work with you without a promise of pay.
Beni Profane 

You lookin at me?
Anonymous

Check every corpse. Make more corpses.Anonymous

Always send the runt in first, he or she ain't gonna argue. Unless your runt is thieving Fred from Harsted, that bastard always argues.
Urtha Nettletoes

They always try to send us small ones in first, I don't mind, I just forget to point all the traps out to them. And forget lockpicks, hammer and chisel are gonna be your best friends.
"Honest" Fred from Harsted 

Keep your maxims and your nooses short.
Sammi Two Swords

Make friends! But...if they don't wanna be friends, kick em inna FACE. 
Anonymous

Eat the healer last.
Indiana Gnoll 

Don't travel to the Veins of the Earth.
Anonymous

Do it to them before they can even think to do it to you.
Anonymous

A murderhobo who thinks to be strong will soon be dethobo.
Anonymous

Nobody needs you" “Poke it, flip it, smell it, whack it, THEN open it.
Anonymous

Green slime? It’s not a trap, it’s a resource.
Anonymous

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
Anonymous

Kick down the door.
To kill the whos home.
To conquer the world.
Frazer "Grabby" Mc Graw 

The gods in heaven play cosmic dice around their banquet table with our lives, only murder hobos are free and wild, everyone else is weak and just living some preordained backstory.
Sister Gloria "Slaughter Margin" Dillinger

Everything Burns is a double-edged sword.
Anonymous

Alignment was made by the gods to start fights.
And to know who to kill.
It does this very well.
Ramos "Goblin gutter"

Stab it and see.
Then burn it with fire.
If it still moves flee.
Or call on magic wrath and godly ire.
Tilly Skullcrusher 

If you murdering people inhabiting a torture dungeon nobody will care. Kill a sheriff or a few bailiffs and a mob with pitchforks will burn your house down. So don't have a house.
Garry the Bonkers Berserker 

Don't just stab villagers. Provoke them into striking first then kill them and sue their families and take their land.
Bloody Mary Turtlebaum 

If the gods didn't want you to stab it they wouldn't have made it bleed.
If the gods didn't want you to burn it they wouldn't have made it flammable.
If they didn't want you to drown it they wouldn't have made it breathe.
If they didn't want everyone dead they would have shared their immortality.
Brother Bugger McNugget

Thou shalt always kill or be killed.
Anonymous

Thinking of putting all this in a illustrated zine or update my murder hobo book
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1FTPnav4Yg66azKb48AdweiUtbLlnEyrl
I found a table I forgot to include and have done several murderhobo shanty town maps to put in also

d100 Cruel Pranks for Witches & Dark Fey

Witches and elves and faeries can be jerks. Best not to offend them but you might have done so just by being noticed by them. Oops I probably just offended some now. Jerks.

This was a quick and fun one only took a hour. The marine one before took 3 days.

d100 Cruel Pranks for Witches & Dark Fey

01 Kill farm animals and make them zombies

02 Put poison spiders in farmers clogs 
03 Poison the local well with lust potions
04 Cast illusions of plague symptoms on travellers
05 Cast illusions on huge spiders to look like puppies
06 Make illusions of ghosts
07 Make farm tools invisible and leave on paths
08 Let invisible wolves loose in area
09 Turn peoples children into bats or rats
10 Replace roast joints in oven with human flesh
11 Cast illusions on dangerous mushrooms to look normal
12 Cast ilusion on baby so parents think it is a changeling
13 Leave fake evidence a loner is a werewolf
14 Steal goods and leave them in neighbours house
15 Hold doors fast with spell then set fire to house
16 Make animals go crazy with drugs or spells
17 Use ventriloquism to make farmer think animals inteligent
18 Leave invisible snakes everywhere
19 Lead a rust monster around at night to ruin all a farmers tools
20 Poop down chimney into stew pot
21 Scare cows and chickens so they give no eggs or milk
22 Steal arrows off locals and shoot travellers with them
23 Spread spoors of giant fungi over granaries or rooftops
24 Burn down a barn or storehouse in winter 
25 Cover crops in hallucinogenic fungi spoors
26 Leave false clues that local elderly are witches
27 Use ventriliquism to make animals tell children to do dreadful things
28 Leave treasonous documents in house and inform lawmen
29 Leave dead body in the well 
30 Tell sylvan beings local humans tried to harm their children
31 Tell centaurs and satyrs how attractive local human women are 
32 Encourage dryads to kidnap all the men while out farming
33 Destroy food stores with magic
34 Raise dead family members or pets as zombies as a surprise
35 Blunt all tools by night
36 Unpick thread from clothing and leather goods
37 Shave animals with ridiculous patterns and dye their hair
38 Crap in peoples boots
39 Enlarge vermin with spells
40 Take people to faerie land and return them hundreds of years later
41 Get humans addicted to magical elf food left out as delicious treats
42 Taint human food with werewolf blood
43 Replace candles with ones made from human fat from missing reletives
44 Tell bandits or tax collector that farmers have secret treasure
45 Warp wooden tools or roof or walls of houses with magic
46 Dig up dead relatives and arange aound the house as if alive
47 Turn someone into a cat and set own dogs on them
48 Taint food with mutagenic chaos mushrooms
49 Take the form of local and go stab happy then flee
50 Cast sleep on household then arrange in compromising positions
51 Take form of locals and beat up the village priest
52 Sell farmers children to beatmen as slaves, invite beastmen to collect them
53 Convince beavers to gnaw down trees to fall on human houses
54 Put magic glue in shoes and in hats
55 Magically grow beards on babies with cantrips
56 Put holes in every bucket and pot in a household
57 Put leaks in roof
58 Make horrible sounds at night keeping everyone awake in fear
59 Give local dogs rabies
60 Send swarm of rats to eat all household food
61 Send swarm of birds to eat all farmers crops
62 Animate scarecrow as a wood golem and make it beat up farmer
63 Teach local birds to utter obscenities or terrible gossip
64 Steal fillings of pies and replace with feces
65 Move trappers traps to places where villagers get hurt
66 Encourage tree people to stop humans murdering their kin to build houses
67 Put invisible knives in backs of chairs, in beds on doorhandles
68 Make poison toads look like delicious fruit with illusions
69 Leave murdered animals inside out nailed to walls
70 Piss in beer and add snake heads and magic mushrooms
71 Make eerie lights at night scaring everyone
72 Rub toads on peoples faces in sleep causing horrible warts
73 Encourage children to lick newts driving them crazy with narcotic secretions
74 Drop huge deadly icicles on people coming out of house in cold mornings
75 Cast illusion on farmer that they are brutish orcs so friends attack them
76 Turn locals into deer and encourage local hunters to to catch them
77 Put stinging nettles inside peoples clothes while they sleep
78 Use magic to make every fertile woman pregnant with changeling children
79 Turn farmer into a donkey then beat with sticks then turn back after a few days
80 Sneak cockatrice eggs into the farmyard chicken coops
81 Put giant leeches in chamber pot
82 Settle stirge nests in the roof of local house
83 Put illusions on beastfolk so they can trick humans into sex 
84 Cut off bards fingers and suck out their eyeballs
85 Turn farmers horse into a centaur and encourage it to beat farmer who mistreated it
86 Turn goats into goatmen and explain how human eat their babies
87 Attract a ogre to a local cave and give kids a fake treasure map to the cave
88 Encourage a giant snake to sneak into house and eat babies
89 Set fire to haystacks while young lovers are inside
90 Turn pigs into orcs and give them weapons
91 Startle horses while pulling waggon causing terrible accident
92 Loose a fully grown crocodile in local watering hole where kids like to swim
93 Encourage pet Ice toad to sit on roof at night to freeze house and frostbite the crops
94 Summon a Imp to torment the household invilibly
95 Set gremlins loose on household who start increasingly dangerous trickery
96 Kidnap children and leave illusion covered goblins in their place
97 Encourage giant burrowing insects to eat crops and leave huge holes everywhere
98 Draw obscene and blasphemous graffiti on house walls 
99 Lure away children to life of slavery in elfland using treats and toys
100 Whisper locals secrets and private thoughts causing fights and feuds