In keeping with the Monty Python philosophy

of always looking on the bright side of life,

Mike Pence is now calling the COVID-19

pandemic the 'Rapture Helper'.

What is Mike Pence up to these days?

Adventures in Aestheticism #159

Adventures in Aestheticism #115

Then came the Rapture and this hockey player

was left behind.

"You say, Mr. Pompeo, that if the Rapture occurs during your

term as Secretary of State,  you would have to step down.

Should your opponents view this as a calamity or a blessing?"

"Yes, I was homeschooled by parents who allowed me to wait 

for the Rapture, instead of educating me. I'm still waiting."

Was Rick Santorum being raptured, or had he scored with 

Lindsay Lohan?  That was what Jay Leno wanted to know.

Judgment Day Turnout Much Smaller Than Expected

Every morning, before breakfast, Paul Broun would believe six

impossible things and then practice his pre-Rapture posture.

What a shock it was when the detainees in Gitmo

appeared at the front of the line for the Rapture.

.

"Remember that Windowpane is gelatin-based, so

all you have to do is use your index finger to place

it on the tip of your tongue. After that, wait just 30

minutes, and--trust me--you won't be left behind!"

If the Rapture occurs while he's still alive, his master won't

just leave him behind. No, he has made arrangements with

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA, which will make sure he is

placed in a loving and caring atheist home in the post-

Rapture world.

Raptured Ducks Leave One Behind

Demand for Electricity Sputters and Bills May Fall;
Coming Up Next--the Rupture or the Rapture?

"I guess we shouldn't have laughed at Timmy when he told

us we would be left behind at the Rapture."

The Oval Office the Day After the Rapture

As it turned out, John McCain lost the election in 2008. But,

in 2009, he was Raptured into Heaven, where he got to

listen to the sermons of Pastor John Hagee for all eternity.

President Bush's Bike, Post Rapture

In the aftermath of the Rapture, only one skier

was left behind on the slopes.