Lack's Hacks

Trump Narrowing Search for Next FBI Director

Warm Scuzzies #738

Marcus Hiles

Fox News to Move Headquarters from

New York to White House, Completing

Transition to State-Run TV

If you find it hard to imagine Sam Clovis as the 

'chief scientist' in the USDA, you simply need

to up your Oxycontin dosage.

Local Trumpnik Denies Huffing Paint

Dog Whistler's Mother

Recently De-Classified Photograph #43

Sarah Huckabee Sanders' Earrings

Will Trumpniks, like the inhabitants of Jonestown, 

drink the fatal Kool-Aid rather than abandon 

Der Trumpenführer?

The word on the street is that the Sean 

Spicer Mobile Personnel Lectern is 

selling like hotcakes on eBay.

If he had been a villain in Chester Gould's Dick Tracy comic, 

Donald Trump would have been called 'The Sphincter'.

It's a Seller's Market

There Is Something Rotten in Dershowitz

Congressional Republicans Swear Their Loyalty to

Der Trumpenführer

Sean Spicer Takes His Popular Daily Press

Briefing on the Road

Think of Congressional Republicans as agents of a foreign 

power and their behavior will make a lot more sense.

No Method. Just Madness.

Loyalty Oaf

The Trump Family Q-Tip™

"Obama's yeti is in my spaghetti!"

"How did Plankton get in there?"

"I don't know, but it sure explains a lot, doesn't it?"

If you want to really piss Donald Trump off, call him

'Baby Carrot Fingers'.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders's Neanderthalesque brow ridge

would be capacious enough to shelter a Cro-Magnon

family of four in a spring thunderstorm.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #685

Barry Loudermilk

"Whether you're under FBI investigation, I can't say, 

Mr. Trump, but you're certainly under psychiatric

 observation."

Groucho Marx Says He Would Prefer to Close His

Eyes When Kellyanne Conway Threatens to Enter 

His Field of Vision

"Would the real Sean Spicer please stand up?"

"I AM standing up!"

Sean Spicer Among the Bushes

As part of his Naval Reserve training this week, Sean Spicer

is sharpening his skills in White House camouflage.

From Russia with Love

Mikedelic!

"Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't 

for the goddamned people."

Like Pythia, the Oracle of Delphi, Sarah Huckabee Sanders 

is one of the spokespersons for the House of Snakes.

"Sergey, I just told this Sergey that I'm replacing Comey 

with Deputy Dawg!"

Two Sergeys Walk into the Oval Office

Noah Rothman Sez:  "Oooo, somebody needs to wash those 

shock-jock Democrats' mouths out with soap!"

Trump Meets with 93-Year-Old War Criminal in the

Office of Facepalms

"I would like to welcome Henry Kissinger to the Oval

Office.  Zombie Nixon will be joining us shortly."

"Trump's 3% annual GDP growth rate is certainly 

not achievable during the XXVIIth Dynasty."

Co-Conspirator McConnell Rejects Call for 

Special Prosecutor

Comey's corpus delicti was still warm when the Trump 

White House's forensic cleaner went to work.

"I am NOT wearing a Zombie Nixon mask.  This is not a

coverup!"

Zombie Nixon Was Never a Quitter

"Anderson, this is not a coverup!"

Zombie Nixon Has Risen from the Grave

Let Them Eat the Most Beautiful

Chocolate Cake

"I'm unsubscribing."

"Me, too."

"Red flags?  What red flags?"

Warm Scuzzies #737

James Oakley

"I like to make stuff up in two ways: firstly in my

 normal voice and then in a kind of silly high-pitched

 whine."