Carville Compares Richardson to Judas

Richardson Compares Carville to Gollum

World's First Gigayacht Features Garden, Pool, Tennis Court,

and Two of Every Living Thing on Earth; Builder Calls

It Gilligan's Ark

"I'm Zacchaeus, a wee little man. What are
the rest of you dudes doing in this
sycamore tree?"

Young Man Crucified for Wearing Scuzzy Beard

When the President passed away unexpectedly,

Vice President Gerard Van der Leun became

President Gerard Van der Leun.

Emperor Hirohito of Japan said today the United States has

declared it wants a nuclear weapon to destroy people and

that it could be hiding a secret program.

The Flogging Dutchman Begins to Flag

"I will stay on top of the passport scandal and get to

the bottom of it. How I can stay on top and get to the

bottom at the same time, I haven't figured out yet,

but I'm confident Paul Wolfowitz will."

Afro

Euro

You are sitting behind the President's desk in the Oval Office.

Five minutes from now, you will be delivering an address

to the American people televised by all the networks.

What will you say?

"Pssst, George! As I am the symbol of wisdom, you are

the symbol of absurdity, bunkum, claptrap, craziness,

dumbness, folly, foolishness, horse feathers, idiocy,

irrationality, ludicrousness, poppycock, preposterousness,

stupidity, tommyrot, twaddle, and witlessness. Sigh! At

a moment like this, even Roget fails me."

Amazingly, parrots, like ants, can lift up to 
50 times their own weight.

Paramilitary Police in China, the 21st Century's Sleeping Giant

Apple iSandwich Stuffed with All-Malkin Baloney

World's Worst Jobs #77

Chinese Cinder Dump Forager

William Saletan believes that while the war with

Iraq has turned out to be a 'dumb war', a war

with Iran would be a 'smart war'. That's about

what you would expect from Michael Kinsley's

ugly brother.

Condi's Cat Disciplined for 'Imprudent Curiosity'

Only the brave have enough courage to

watch flamingos spar.

Irving Lewis "Scooter" Libby has been disbarred

from practicing law in the District of Columbia.

He is, however, still free to practice breaking

the law anytime and anywhere he wishes, so

long as George Bush is still in office.

“I don’t claim that I won’t misspeak on occasion, but not

to worry, Joe Lieberman will correct it immediately.”

The Unexpurgated Bible #13

"They shall be ashamed, and also confounded, all of them:

they shall go to confusion together that are makers of

American Idols."

World's Worst Yobs #29

Joe Scarborough

On the day George Bush became President in January, 2001,

the average price of a gallon of gasoline in California was

$1.68. Fortunately, the price of walking has remained stable.

Nursing Home for Elderly NeoNazis

"The annual meeting of the Ex-Propellerhead Society for the

Preservation of Perpetual Virginity will now come to order."

What a day for Shelby to daydream about

the white man he might have been.

When the American consumer is finally laid to rest

under six feet of debt, this will be the tombstone.

Would you mind if Faten Shwaykan moves in

next door along with her two pet hyenas?

If you were a miner in China, the risks associated with cigarette

smoking would probably be the least of your worries.

President Bush and his recession SWAT team got on top of the

situation by first getting snockered with a single Rum and Coke.

Although his approval rating had fallen to 26%,

the President took comfort in the fact that he

was twice as popular as the Congress, whose

approval rating had fallen to 13%.

"Behold the height of the stars, how high they are!

And then there's the soccer ball."

The Gods Must Be Crazy

"Those are the Men in Black. They keep track of all the aliens who

have come to Earth since George Bush was elected President."

Dick Cheney, a Gasbag as Empty as the State of Wyoming

"C'mon, John, lemme see your tan lines."

"Five years later, I still know where the weapons of

mass destruction are. They’re in the area around Tikrit

and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat."

Would you buy a used war from this man?

Confederate Battle Elephant

Chairman of RMMCC (Republican Monkeys for McCain Campaign

Committee) Suspected of Embezzling One Million Bananas

Eliot Spitzer's Fall from Grace Attributed to Liporexia

Recent Discovery Suggests Soccer Was Brought

to Earth by Ancient Astronauts

Popular in Spain, El Colacho (the Baby-Jumping

Festival) bids fair to become a demonstration

sport at the 2012 Olympic Games in London.

The very thought of seven more months of the presidential 
race is enough to make you a believer in Spontaneous 
Human Disgustion.

If women were permitted to wear high heels only so long as

men had to wear them, too, this shoe style would go out

of fashion overnight.

Former Senator Bill Frist wants to build an 8-foot

wall around his home in Nashville. "I'll feel much

more secure within my own Green Zone," he says.

Sign of the Times #2

Bad Sign on Wall Street