With kind permission of my friend Eric Taimanglo, I'm reposting his article here.
I was listening to the radio while driving one day and happened across a survey where the DJ was asking callers to share what made them angry. A woman answered and related how lack of manners were her pet peeve. She then went on to tell a story about an encounter with a local lout in a parking lot. Apparently, she was returning to her vehicle, with her children in tow. She opened the car door and accidentally made contact with the vehicle in the space next to her. According to the caller, there was no damage to the vehicle. The man came out and became verbally belligerent. She said she apologized, but the man continued to berate her, asking her how would she feel if someone banged her vehicle by careless opening of a car door. At this point she became defensive and said that it wouldn't be much of a problem, as she drove a (insert derogatory name for less than aesthetically pleasing vehicle). She wound the energy up further, scolding him for being so verbally abusive in front of her children. It all ended with no physical contact, save for the supposed "tap" on the man's car, and both parties went about the rest of their day.
Some might say that she was in the right. She apologized, but the man wouldn't accept it and kept going down his mouthy route. How dare this man launch verbal attacks on her in front of her children. Civilized people accept apologies, why couldn't this man do the same?
In my opinion, there are no such things as rights. If you find this hard to believe, please look up a place called Pyongyang, or better yet, Libya. We all have our own little worlds organized and packaged to fit our perceptions. We have to, otherwise we wouldn't get anything done. However, a lot of us have the tendency to clutch too tightly to our parceled ways, so much that we don't realize that there are other people, with other ways, some of which are very different from our own. To assume that the world will conform to our ways is, well, rather foolish.
Self Defense Case Study: Parking Lot Argument
by Eric Taimanglo
I was listening to the radio while driving one day and happened across a survey where the DJ was asking callers to share what made them angry. A woman answered and related how lack of manners were her pet peeve. She then went on to tell a story about an encounter with a local lout in a parking lot. Apparently, she was returning to her vehicle, with her children in tow. She opened the car door and accidentally made contact with the vehicle in the space next to her. According to the caller, there was no damage to the vehicle. The man came out and became verbally belligerent. She said she apologized, but the man continued to berate her, asking her how would she feel if someone banged her vehicle by careless opening of a car door. At this point she became defensive and said that it wouldn't be much of a problem, as she drove a (insert derogatory name for less than aesthetically pleasing vehicle). She wound the energy up further, scolding him for being so verbally abusive in front of her children. It all ended with no physical contact, save for the supposed "tap" on the man's car, and both parties went about the rest of their day.
Some might say that she was in the right. She apologized, but the man wouldn't accept it and kept going down his mouthy route. How dare this man launch verbal attacks on her in front of her children. Civilized people accept apologies, why couldn't this man do the same?
In my opinion, there are no such things as rights. If you find this hard to believe, please look up a place called Pyongyang, or better yet, Libya. We all have our own little worlds organized and packaged to fit our perceptions. We have to, otherwise we wouldn't get anything done. However, a lot of us have the tendency to clutch too tightly to our parceled ways, so much that we don't realize that there are other people, with other ways, some of which are very different from our own. To assume that the world will conform to our ways is, well, rather foolish.
