Uncertainty

So if you go chasing rabbits...

First, I need to apologize to the lot of you for how absent I've been as a blog visitor. I usually try to sneak in several while I'm at work and we are under a grant deadline, for starters, but I ALSo got sucked down the Pottermore Rabbithole yesterday—it's VERY fun. Man, I love those books, and this is a great interactive way to relive some of that. There are a lot of notes as to Jo's writing process, which is SUPER cool, and then the finding little treasures really brings out my inner geek.

BUT, the work deadline still has about 9 days on it, so I can't promise things will get better before then... I will try harder, but it is what it is...

Jefferson Airplane's White Rabbit video

Uncertainty

I have a young friend who went to a psychic yesterday... Now some of you may have your opinions on the matter, but she was told a great many things and I find she now seems significantly more relaxed. You see, she is in a state of flux... looking for a job... not permanently attached romantically... not sure even, where she wants to LIVE in the long run. Anything goes... and she was stressing. WIRED might even have not been an off description... this psychic gave her clues to a timeframe, some sort of big details... some idea of the spiritual support she has helping her... and it helped.


And it took me back to the last time I was unemployed... erm... I was 22 and fresh out of college... I've actually had TWO jobs more often in my adult life than no job, and that's even if I count maternity leave as not working... you heard me. Half my life, and not ONE FREAKING BREAK.

I should sound more grateful. I know that. There are people who depend on me and it would be a whole lot worse if I didn't have the means to take care of them, but this got me thinking back to that 22 year-old me.

WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING, diving so fast into the work force. I could have taken time to travel. I could have screwed around a little... I could have moved somewhere with fewer ties (not that Portland wasn't its own kind of adventure, but I DID know some people).

But I know exactly what I was thinking.

I have never been able to tolerate uncertainty. I've taken jobs I like just a little less because it was a sure thing, rather than wait to hear on something I wanted more. I've made decisions with a safety net... a back-up plan.

Heck, even with my writing, it is just a side job, until such time as I blow them away, eh?

Would the word of a psychic have calmed me enough to sort of just let things happen back then? (WOULD they have happened, if I hadn't been such a diligent, hard worker MAKING them happen?) The job I got, they practically BEGGED me to take because the woman hiring me had formerly worked for the advertising agency where I did my internship—would I have even gotten a letter and resume to that agency to APPLY if I hadn't have worked like that? Heck, it was a branch of an LA agency—possibly not. Maybe it HAD to go the way it went... And had it not, I never would have met HWMNBMOTI or my fabulous friend Natalie (you know a friend is fabulous when you name your first born after them).... Then again, who knows what I might have done instead?


Then There is the Other One

Compared to HWMNBMOTI, I am a verifiable THRILL seeker—jumping at every opportunity, diving into sweet oblivion as I take risk after risk... You see... I don't think my dislike of uncertainty means I don't like new things. Heck, I like to shake it up now and then. I just never let go of one thing, until the next is firmly in my grasp. (is that the insecure cancer in me?)

He, on the other hand, thinks of everything that can go wrong and won't actually leap—he has to be shoved off the edge. (or dragged, as the case may be—something I've done to him more than once)

But man, I DO like to know where I'm going next. I like to have.... wait for it... a PLAN! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Doesn't need a bunch of detail, but I can't just dive without the basics.

This is called managing uncertainty--I'm not sure if they got that.

Sort of how I write, come to think of it... (not with an outline, but a timeline--I don't know the details, but I DO know the destination)


Now I am not a person who puts a ton of stock in all this.. I've had my tarot read, and found it fun... I dabble in astrology (and know I will achieve fame near the end of life or after death, so I have that going for me)... but it is all more amusement and hobby than guidance... I'm not sure if I could alter my perceptions of uncertainty ANYWAY... I think I may just be too stubborn.

So what about you? How are you at dealing with uncertainty? Do you ever look at any of this future telling? Do your characters? (Oooh! And do they fight it if they learn something?!--I love resistance of a prophecy—never works, but makes a great story)